we watch them so you don't have to: lowest rated quest

(lowest rated quest watchlist - ranked)

well.. jack and i have finally finished the franchise. it only took us about 2 years to get through them all. i don't really have any thoughts because the pain of watching this franchise has taken its toll, lol. only the strong can withstand such agony. so, enjoy some quotes from our time of suffering:

*before we started the movie*
[me] this movie is way too long for a sharknado movie
[jack] how long is it?
[me] 1 hour 28 mins 
[jack] you scared me olivia, i thought you were gonna say like 1 hour 40 mins 
[me] it's still too long 

[me] the dinosaurs look worse than the sharks 
[jack] i've seen jurassic park lego animation that looks better

*random guy enters that we've never seen*
[us both in unison] who the fuck is that?

*tara reid flying in on a pterodactyl*
[jack] what the.. what the fuck is going on?

*nova explaining that you can only go back into time once*
[me] oh, sure 
[jack] logic

[jack] at least they're doing something different in this one, i will say that much. for the last 3 films it felt like watching the same movie over and over
[me] i guess that's a plus

[me] they're like, in front of a green screen rn
[jack] the whole movie's a green screen 
[me] tbh 

[jack] i'm glad you're following the plot because i don't know wtf is going on
[me] i mean i still don't 

[me] how are these regular ass people the ones who are saving the world every time?

*random sword fighting in an ancient time period*
[me] what the hell 
[jack] this is your favorite one 

[me, reacting to random king arthur shit] what the hell 
[jack] i want this movie to be over already 

*robot head of robot tara shocking past normal tara*
[jack] head tara is trying to attack normal tara 
[me] i literally can't 

[jack] no wonder they made this the last film. they said enough damage to the world 
[me] they literally didn't try at all 

[me] she turned them into dragon sharks?
[jack] my will has just given up with this film

[me] i should've gone to bed 
[jack] your life choices 

[me] why is the head still talking?
[jack] i don't know but two taras is annoying 
[me] one was bad enough 
[jack] one tara could barely act, no one asked for two

[jack] how are they suddenly experts on time travel? how do they know everything there is to know about time travel? they aren't even scientists

[jack] this is some of the worst acting ever 
[me] even for sharknado this is bad 

*random guy talking about the first random guy* "who the hell is this?"
[jack] that's what we're saying, who the hell is this guy we've never seen before

*20 mins in*
[jack] you were right, this is too long for a sharknado film
[me] told you 

[jack] is he just saying horrible things?
[me] i don't know, i wasn't listening tbh 
[jack] olivia's just completely checked out 
[me] honestly 
[jack] don't miss important plot. if you don't pay attention you won't know what's going on 

[me] she suddenly knows how to load a canon?
[jack] they're experts in everything ol..gdgkjh..olivia 
[jack] sorry my brain is fried 
[me] *laughing* yeah i was like you couldn't even say my name 
[jack] i was literally trying to remember your name 

[me] i don't care 
[jack] wow, olivia's just given up 

*emotional scene*
[me] okay i don't care!
[jack] stop trying to have emotional depth. we don't fucking care 
[me] for real 
[jack] i'd rather watch the two tara heads fight 
[me] *laughing so hard*

[jack] i forgot everything that just happened in the last scene 
[me] same 

*me coughing*
[jack] olivia's dying and this is the last film before her death 
[me] i think this film is making me sick 

[jack] how much time is even left in this movie?
[me] we've got about 50 mins left 
[jack] how is that even possible?

[me] why is she wearing the olden clothes if she's still wearing her leather jacket?
[jack] i was just thinking that 
[jack] how are they all back in time but pretty with makeup (like his 5th time commenting on that)
[me] that's really bothering you, huh?
[jack] i just find it funny 

*billy the kidd's arm gets torn off by a shark but the arm keeps shooting his gun from inside the shark's mouth*
[me] you're kidding 
[jack] what just happened?
[me] i don't know 

[me, about nova] thank god she's hot 
[jack] olivia's just grateful for the hot people 
[me] she makes it bearable for me 

[me] i don't understand anything 
[jack] i'm not even trying 

*film makes back to the future, lotr, and beverly hills 90210 references, jack continues to point them out, i continue to say i haven't seen that*
[jack] jesus olivia, have you seen anything?
[me] *laughing* wow 

*film makes its 100th lame ass joke*
[me] ha. ha ha
[jack] ha.. ha ha ha.. ha. funny 
[me] comedy 

*me checking the time left for the 10th time*
[me] ffs 
[jack] i wish there was only 5 mins left 

*emotional scene*
[me] okay.
[jack] olivia you're supposed to be crying, this is so emotional 

[me] omg
[jack] oh was something happening? i wasn't paying attention 
[me] i was looking but still saw nothing 

[jack] surely it must be almost over now 
[me] *checks* about 10 mins left 
[jack] i'm sorry but this one has just been unbearable 
[me] yeah it has

[jack] so olivia, i want you to tell me everything that happened from the beginning 
[me] i couldn't tell you a thing that happened in the entire franchise 

[me] who are all these people?
[jack] i don't know what the fuck's happening 
[me] same 
[jack] i zoned out for a minute

*emotional scene*
[me] oh ffs
[jack] another emotional monologue. just stfu!

[me] sorry what did he even say? i didn't hear anything he said
[jack] sorry i wasn't listening

*credits flying by at the speed of light*
[me] why are the credits going so fast?
[jack] because even they just want to end the fucking movie
[me] they're like please god end this franchise already

[me] ugh that was just painful 
[jack] it was just so fucking bad 
[me] we've finally finished the franchise
[jack] we have 
[me] are we alive?
[jack] we are. we survived 
[me] it doesn't feel like it 
[jack] now we can move onto the evil bong franchise or something else 
[me] omg, i have to rewatch the first evil bong 
[jack] we all know you love rewatching bad movies. you've seen sharknado 3 times 
[me] 3 times in the same year 
[jack] wow, you really love sharknado 

[me] *laughing* what are you gonna rate this?
[jack] i don't know, probably like half a star
[me] *wheezing laughing* same 
[jack] i just didn't care
[me] it literally made no sense 

(sharknado franchise - ranked)