I started fostering a senior cat called Tucksie late October 2025 (the picture is my last baby, Salty). He’s 15 and ill and not considered adoptable. I can’t afford to have a pet on my own but in fostering the shelter takes care of the vet and provides some food, etc. so it’s a treat for me to have a little companion. He’s not so sure it’s a great deal… yet.

Because I’ve been volunteering a little bit with the animal shelter I follow several accounts on FB providing news about shelter pets. I see stories way too often about animals adopted and brought back weeks or months later. So I thought I’d provide a little timeline about how things have gone with Tucksie. And my view, which is that it’s not their job to conform to our expectations or even to love us. They’re little beings who are entrusted to our care and it’s our job to make them feel safe and loved.

Until sometime in December, Tucksie was panic stricken. He hid out in an area of my condo with a lot of boxes (haven’t finished moving my dad’s stuff out nor mine in). Other than coming out to eat or use the box he stayed mostly out of reach. He cowered every time I came near or reached for him and I’m pretty sure he thought I might be an axe murderer. We had to interact a little because he needs medicine 2x a day and from the beginning I found him sweet.

Initially he ate most things I fed him. But 4 or 5 weeks in he started getting fussy and we’ve had issues about what he will and won’t eat ever since. The “tough love” I used on my cats when they were young and healthy is harder to do on an old guy who’s already too thin and has thyroid disease. So we’ve been struggling all along about me putting down food, him rejecting it, throwing too much away… And what he likes one week isn’t necessarily something he will eat the next.

In December he started coming out to a sun room across the back of the condo and hanging out in a chair. So I went over sometimes to scratch his chin (he adores it) and give him pats. He still thought I might wield an axe but he liked the scratching and petting enough to submit.

After a few weeks I started picking him up occasionally and putting him on my bed. He does NOT like to be picked up so I kept it minimal. Initially he’d jump down immediately and go back to his safe space. In a couple weeks, though, he started hanging out on the bed a lot. And before long he’d even stay on the bed when I was on it — just well out of arm’s reach.

By February, once in a while he’d move somewhere up against me for a portion of a nap or a little of the night. As we spent more time together I increasingly felt his sweet nature & began to love his gentle being. He still cowered if I walked over to him and I’m pretty sure the axe murderer thing was still a worry. It was okay. I can love him and it isn’t his job to love me back.

Moving into March he now lets me walk over to him and give a pat and only cowers a little sometimes. He spends increasing amounts of time hanging out near me or touching me. Food is still a constant struggle. He’s now on an Rx that helps when he eats it but he’s just as on and off about it as any other food. I have learned he likes “people” tuna and so far he eats that more readily than anything. [I know, not good for him but we’re at the point I’m happy just to get food in him. And while it may cause thyroid issues it also has high amounts of some other nutrients that are good for cats.]

So, we’re five months in. I maybe have gone off the axe murderer radar. We’re frustrated with one another about food. He’s mad at me for forcing medicine into him both times each day. I think he’s a total sweet heart and I love him. He’s tolerating me more, can’t quite tell if “like” is in the mix, but maybe. It’s not his job to love me back.

The shelter often talks about 3 months for pets to settle — many people bring them back after a few weeks or a month with no understanding of how hard the transition is for the pet. I’m at 5 months and I don’t feel like we’re all the way there for him to be settled. I feel like he’s maybe still waiting to go to his original home. It’s okay. It’s not his job to make my life feel better or easier.

I do think he finally feels comfortable and safe here 98% of the time and that was my goal. I hope he also feels loved. He’s 15 and lost his home and he’s ill and making him feel safe and loved is my job. Please, if you take on a shelter pet, start off prepared to give the fur baby as long as needed for him or her to adjust and settle. It’s your job to love them.