I agree. I can be needy too. But maybe needy is not what I mean. What I mean is that sometimes a friend comes to you and tells you "I don't want to be friends with X anymore", X being a mutual friend. I try to validate their feelings and listen and reply along the lines of you are perfectly fine with what you feel. Sometimes we need a break. Don't spend any more energy than you have to on them. It is time to water other plants and so on and so forth. Said friend gets upset at you because you are not understanding what they are trying to say because I was focusing on her feelings and not on what X had done.
This makes me mad. She gets mad at me because I don't tell her what she wants to hear. What did she want me to do? To say?
If you have any ideas, let me know.
So, oh well. I am trying. too many things going on at once. It feels like I can't concentrate on anything.
Been meditating on my life. Wonder if I can actually live my life with two seemingly contradictory lifestyles: like a monk, or like a kinkster. I don't want to have to choose one over the other. I do have an affinity to live comfortably in ambiguity but this is a bit more confusing for me.
I haven't even explored fully that side of myself and I should. Time passes and I don's want to regret anything.
But I am so afraid.
I did not watch it. I couldn't. I spent way too many hours in court and I, even though was not even on the stand, had to endure the horrible sexism involved in my case.
Why subject myself to that? But I do think that Dr Ford is very brave. It wasn't easy to have to go through the judicial process. It was crippling. So I applaud you for standing there publicly, speaking your truth, and having to endure the ridiculous charade that is the political system.
It has been three years since I wrote in this journal. It is time to return to this. There are many memories contained here. But I also have a great need to just write about all the craziness that has been going on.
I am not sure how I can survive any of this if I do not write. Writing has been my refuge so I don't know why I stopped.
Well, here I am again.
Today I saw a friend I had never met in RL. We have been friends for over a decade and shared in online communities. I am so excited to have seen her. I jumped and screamed when I saw her. It was really something. She is fantastic and she has a great positive energy. I hope to see her again but I don't want another 10 years to pass.
I have not done one of these in a while but I really, really, really like this song. I saw them interviewed in Eat Your Kimchi and I thought their views on Korean hip hop were very interesting (of course, I know NOTHING about Korean hip hop). Anyway, check them out. They are in my shuffle workout playlist.
BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Dr. Neuro is definitely earning his keep. Two hours. Two hours of relentless questions ranging from sleep patterns and hallucinations to who wrote Don Quijote and what is at the end of Ocean Park Drive. I was puzzled. Overwhelmed. I felt very little in front of the bowtied Napoleonic Doc who intensely scrutinized his notes as he heard my uncertain answers to some of his queries. He startled me a couple of times when he heard some new information I should have provided in the patient intake form.
The verdict: Not sure.
The sound in my ears, as long as it is not interfering with everyday life, not a big deal.
My falling, well, that is a different matter.
Two words: Cataplexy and Narcolepsy.
Maybe. Maybe.
HA!
Hello world! I am a cataplectic narcoleptic. Excuse me if I fall asleep during your very important lecture/meeting. I apologize for my snoring in the middle of the day, Brother Leo.
HA!
Well, the verdict is not a for sure yet. I still have to get a series of tests done. Sigh. I am tired already. Do you mind if I take a nap?
Yesterday I went with Doña Maria after Mass to my absolute favorite Chinese Restaurant not in Chinatown. They had the New Year's specials this weekend. Doña Maria ordered the Hunan Lamb and I was jealous. It was SUPER DELICIOUS!!!!
Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.
Comments
Good to see you around!!! You doing NaNo this…