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When I first stumbled across this pairing I was like what what what how what, and then by the next day I was like yeah ok I can dig it. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Title: Aspirin
Fandom: OFF
Pairing: The Batter/Zacharie
Rating: PG

( I'm sorry. I don't have anything stronger.Collapse )

I feel like a good chunk of my fanfiction exists because nobody writes about the weird things that I like, so I feel compelled (sometimes) to just do it myself. INTERNET, WHY DON'T YOU SHARE MY INTERESTS?

Anyway, I think we can all agree that Ray Shields desperately needs to stop talking to picture frames and go see a psychiatrist already.

Title: The Delicate Situation
Fandom: Ace Attorney
Pairing: Gregory Edgeworth/Raymond Shields
Rating: PG-13
Notes: I used Ray's unofficial fan translation name because I wasn't about to call him Shigaraki Tateyuki like some pretentious, Japanese-only Digimon ficcer circa 2001. (You Digimon fans know what I'm talking about.) This won't make any sense if you haven't played AAI2. It probably won't make any sense even if you have.

( Oh, those manufactured truths.Collapse )

Ok so I played Layton Brothers: Mystery Room and I was like ALFENDI LAYTON, WHAT EVEN. His mere existence contradicts everything I ever wanted to believe about Hershel Layton, and yet I'm so enamored with his batshittery, I couldn't help but be inspired. (P.S. This is the first piece I've written entirely from scratch in almost THREE YEARS.)

This story essentially conveys my ultimate headcanon of the Layton/Luke relationship, with the added bonus of Layton's fucked up offspring.

(Alternately titled, Hershel Layton, Dad of the Century.)

(Also alternately titled, How to Alienate the Layton Fandom in 7500 Words or Less.)

Title: Monster
Fandom: Professor Layton
Pairing: Hershel Layton/Luke Triton
Rating: R
Warnings: Graphic violence and underage implications that might make you raise you eyebrows. But no joke, serious graphic violence.


Please proceed to AO3, since LJ cannot handle my pretentious formatting.

Monster

Livejournaaaaal. D:

I fully realize that very few of you are still here and that even fewer (read: zero) will find this fic relevant to your interests, but seeing as I started this back in THE FALL OF 2010 and vowed ON LUKE TRITON'S SOUL to one day finish it, I feel that I owe it to myself to post it here amongst the ashes of a once glorious blog. (Wait, glorious?)

Many years ago, I played Professor Layton and the Unwound Future and it BLEW MY MIND. Mainly because, wow, what an unnecessarily elaborate scheme to, in the end, essentially just kill everybody. If you analyze the semantics of Future London at all, you will quickly realize that it makes no sense whatsoever. Like, why were all those people living there? Why were there hotels and restaurants? How were the townspeople not dying of vitamin deficiencies? But I loved that game and I loved crazy ol' Future London, so this is my 2.5 year attempt at giving Clive's psychoses some merit.

Title: Turn Around and Say Good Morning to the Night
Fandom: Professor Layton
Pairing: Clive/Family Goon
Rating: PG-13

( The untold story of Future London.Collapse )

So here is a thing that I finally finished!

It took FOREVER, but is very, very dear to me. ;__;

Two years ago I wrote a Hardy Boys fic for yuletide called Our Red Sea, in which I mercilessly killed off Fenton Hardy as a cheap plot device. Joe was the star, but it was the beginning of a glorious new relationship with his endearingly dysfunctional family. Six months later I added Don't Tell Me You Love Me to the timeline, which detailed the reluctantly torrid love affair between Fenton Hardy and Carson Drew in 1930s New York, and which cemented my ENDLESS AND UNDYING LOVE for Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew fandom. (Or at least the fandom that I made up in my head.)

Reading these stories isn't required for this to make sense, but it is, technically, a joint sequel of sorts, so if you're nuts like me and think that Fenton and Carson (and their mystery-solving relations) are the GREATEST IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD, please feel free to read them first. :D

(Seriously, you don't have to.)

Anyway, uhhh you'll have to read this on AO3 because it is actually A PLAY(???) and there was a lot of crazy CSS coding involved that LJ would just devour.

Finally, if you've ever read the Hardy Boys books at any point in your life, then you too must wonder how Fenton managed to stay alive for as long as he did.

Bless your soul, Fenton Hardy. Bless your soul.


Title: So Fair a House
Fandom: The Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew
Pairing: Fenton Hardy/Carson Drew
Raiting: PG-13



SO FAIR A HOUSE
A PLAY IN ONE ACT



Related Works
Our Red Sea (1955)
Don't Tell Me You Love Me (1935)
The Endless Beauty of the Deli Sandwich (1922)
Lâche pas la patate (1925)


*Horace Bolton hails from the Judy Bolton series, a less popular but equally amazing collection of early-twentieth-century children's mysteries.

Guess what time it is! It's yuletide reveal time!

This year my assigned fandom was The Great Escape, the 1963 film detailing the infamous escape of Allied soldiers from Stalag Luft III, a World War II German POW camp. During the summer between my junior and senior year of high school, my father made me watch what I believe to be every World War II film ever produced. I imagine it was for his own sense of nostalgia more than anything, but I developed a great deal of affection for the genre nevertheless. (Male-only companionship in times of war? Yes, I think I will have some of that.)

Having been a product of 1960s Hollywood, the film is not without its flaws (I learned this very quickly as I attempted to research the finer details of the real-life escape) but Steve McQueen's unnecessarily insistent motorcycle showboating doesn't hold a candle to all the wonderfully endearing characters and the heartbreaking beauty of their friendships. (Not that Steve McQueen doesn't look sexy on a motorcycle, but you know what I mean.)

destina asked for Danny/Willie (the all-important tunnelers) in her request, and as their relationship has made my heart leap since the tender age of sixteen, I was more than happy to comply.


Title: The Other Side
Fandom: The Great Escape
Pairing: Danny Velinski/Willie Dickes
Rating: PG-13

You can also read it here on AO3.

( You made it through the tunnel. It doesn't mean you're free.Collapse )

Ahaha, why did this take me so long to write? D: Probably because it's nonsensical and OVERFLOWING WITH ANGST.

For those of you who aren't immaculate, the Laura Bow series is made up of two outstanding point-and-click adventures (released in 1989 and 1992, respectively) that feature probably the most unimportant, minor character father in the history of all unimportant, minor character fathers. He literally appears in the first game as a single flashback thought bubble in order to remind his daughter to please be careful and not get herself killed on her slutty friend's creepy uncle's sugar plantation. (It's a good game, I swear.) So all you really know about John Bow is that he's a middle-aged, widower father with a pretty daughter who enjoys solving mysteries.

HMMM. SOUNDS A LITTLE FAMILIAR.

Title: Lâche pas la patate
Fandoms: Nancy Drew, Laura Bow
Pairing: Carson Drew/John Bow
Rating: R

Because I love crossovers almost as much as I love unimportant, minor character [gay] fathers.

( June, 1925.Collapse )

I haven't posted fic in foreeeeeever D: D: D: so here's part of something that I scribbled out on a paper towel at work one day.

This is actually part of a bigger piece I had intended to write, entitled, "Five People That Carson Drew Never Slept With." (Because Carson Drew is a ho. In my head. Or in canon. I forget. Anyway.) It's a ridiculous crossover because I love ridiculous crossovers ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY ARE TIMELINE COMPLIANT, OH MAN. Canon timeline compliancy = huge boner for me.

(I think I stalled on this because I couldn't come up with five people that Carson never slept with, ho ho ho.)


Fandoms: Nancy Drew, Brideshead Revisited, Professor Layton (what what what)
Characters: Carson Drew, Anthony Blanche, Professor Layton
Rating: PG-13

( Carson Drew spent the summer of '27 in England.Collapse )

A gift for immaculate for letting me invade her house for two weeks. :D ♥

We love closeted middle aged men.


Title: Fenton Hardy's Distraction
Fandom: The Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew
Pairing: Fenton Hardy/Carson Drew
Rating: PG-13

Uhhh...this will probably make more sense if you've read The Missing Chums, but then, this is not really a legit fandom, so. \o/

( That missing chapter...Collapse )

I don't know!

Title: The Endless Beauty of the Deli Sandwich
Fandom: The Hardy Boys/The Great Gatsby
Pairing: Fenton Hardy/Jay Gatsby
Rating: PG-13
Notes: Somehow this worked its way into my main Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew ficverse. Go compliant timelines!

I like to imagine that Carson Drew, being a widower and all, fucked a lot of guys before settling down with his one illicit true love, whereas Fenton just had several abortive encounters that only succeeded in backing him further into the closet. :(

( And every other American dream.Collapse )

I don't know which is more ridiculous, that this is the longest thing I've ever written (lol, it is not actually that long), or that there isn't any raunchy sex. :C

Enjoy the angst, boys, because it's back to porn drabbles after this!

Title: Don't Tell Me You Love Me
Fandom: The Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew
Pairing: Fenton Hardy/Carson Drew
Rating: PG-13
Notes: According to oldschool canon, the Drews supposedly live in Illinois but, you know, those ridiculous Super Mysteries stomped all over that in a lame attempt to make their crossovers plausible, so what the hell, so can I! Also, this takes place in the same ficverse as Our Red Sea. Not that it matters, but you know. FYI.

This is for my chum, immaculate, because we are horribly self-indulgent and have completely appropriated these poor children's books for ourselves. (And if we were closeted gay men in the 1930s, she would totally be the Carson to my Fenton.)

( The happiest tragedy of their lives.Collapse )

AHAHAHAHA WHAT.

Title: While in Texas
Fandom: Heavy Rain/Twin Peaks
Pairing: Agent Norman Jayden/Agent Dale Cooper
Rating: PG-13.

Uhh, I wrote this really quickly when I should have been sleeping. D:

( I'm surprised Jayden didn't quit the FBI after this assignment.Collapse )

I was bored so I decided to do a little "creative" exercise. (There should probably be quotation marks around the word "exercise" too.)

Here's how it went: I wrote down ten characters on ten slips of paper, shuffled them around and drew ten random combinations, then wrote ten hundred-word drabbles that...sort of have a plot, though that wasn't my intent. SELF INDULGENCE CREATIVE EXERCISE!

Characters
Kyle Hyde, NYPD Detective (Hotel Dusk)
Brian Bradley, NYPD Detective (Hotel Dusk)
Miles Edgeworth, LA Prosecutor (Ace Attorney)
Byrne Faraday, LA Prosecutor (Ace Attorney)
Shi-Long Lang, Interpol Agent (Ace Attorney)
Luke Triton, Solver of Puzzles and the Occasional Mystery (Professor Layton)
Inspector Gage, Scotland Yard Detective (Eagle Eye Mysteries in London)
Fenton Hardy, Retired NYPD Detective/Private Investigator (The Hardy Boys)
Joe Hardy, Private Investigator/Teenage Slut (The Hardy Boys)
Carson Drew, NY District Attorney* (Nancy Drew)

*It's totes canonfax that Carson used to be a DA so THAT'S WHAT HE IS HERE.

Also, Blodges wormed his way in here, I don't know. (See icon.)

( ...These probably won't make a lot of sense unless you're me.Collapse )



I don't know, guys. There are too many cops and lawyers in my life.



P.S. THE LANG/EDGEWORTH/LUKE ONE IS MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE.

I blame this:



Stupid sexy game still.

Title: The Last Job
Fandom: Ace Attorney
Pairing: Tyrell Badd/Calisto Yew/Byrne Faraday
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Pretty massive spoilers for the second half of Ace Attorney Investigations. Yay!

( Everything the public will never know.Collapse )

I sent these to immaculate along with her scarf. They're a bit more on the gay side of things, though only by a small margin.


Fandom: The Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew
Pairing: Fenton Hardy/Carson Drew

My scanner and I don't get along, so I had to photograph everything. Apologies for the shoddiness.

( Six postcards from Carson, one letter from Fenton.Collapse )

I think I used all my SERIOUS BUSINESS fic-wrting ability on my yuletide story. All that's left now are shitty drabbles. D:



Title: Ten Nights at the Ritz That David Herrick Was Paid to Forget Happened
Fandom: Eagle Eye Mysteries in London, with gratuitous appearances by several Hardys and a Drew
Rating: NC-17 probably D:
Notes: I DON'T EVEN KNOW. WHY DO I WRITE THINGS THAT HAVE NO AUDIENCE? As per my usual drabble formula, each of these are exactly 100 words.

( Nothing goes down at the Ritz Hotel that David Herrick doesn't know about.Collapse )

What is this I don't even--


A hundred-word drabble for immaculate, who poisoned my brain with this awfulness*.

D:

( OTPCollapse )


*awfulness = my life is now complete

I also wrote a small Yuletide Treat for immaculate in the form of Eagle Eye Mysteries in London fic. (Erin and I had a very Inspector Gage Christmas this year.)

Uhh, basically this will not make sense to anyone.

Title: The Curious Conversation
Fandom: Eagle Eye Mysteries in London
Pairing: Inspector Gage/Percy Tribb
Rating: PG-13

( Not really a case for Scotland Yard.Collapse )

Hay haaaay, it's yuletide reveal time! :D

Surprising ABSOLUTELY NOBODY, I wrote Hardy Boys fic this year.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the Hardy Boys series, here's a quick crash course: (COME ON, REEEAAAD IT.) Frank, age 18, and Joe, age 17, are brothers who live in Bayport, a quiet yet oddly crime-ridden city somewhere in upstate(?) New York. Their father, Fenton Hardy, was a SUPER AWESOME detective who was, apparently, too super awesome to waste his talents on the NYPD, so he retired and began taking cases as a private detective. Despite this, he appears to be largely incompetent, and half the time his sons end up solving the cases for him. Sometimes he even gets kidnapped. Most of the original mysteries are about smugglers, counterfeiters, or general thievery. Since these books were originally written in the 20s, 30s, etc., Frank and Joe are squeaky-clean, all-American boys who respect their parents and are overly polite and play football at school. Also, they have a chubby friend named Chet who is the butt of many fat jokes.

CONGRATULATIONS. YOU NOW KNOW EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE HARDY BOYS.

Title: Our Red Sea
Fandom: The Hardy Boys
Rating: PG-13
Notes: In my head, this kinda-sorta takes place in the fifties. Or some comparable decade where cellphones do not yet exist. Thank you so much to nightwalker for wanting to know what kind of men Frank and Joe grew up to be, and to all the lovely people over at AO3 who have left such kind and wonderful comments. Particularly the person who said, I love how they're so real here and lastly, yes, it feels right that Joe turns out to be gay. Because that basically made my life.

( Your father's gone. Don't lose your brother too.Collapse )