Just for you, my sweet fiona...
:)

Most of the girls my age are in a long term relationship, thinking of babies or white dresses. I'm not. I'm a total teenager when it comes to BoYyyZYzZZ. I'm staying longer at work so that there's a tiny chance I take the train with the Maple Leaf guy... Hummmph. It's unbelievable how crushes make me feel alive...

Ahum! I watched Temptation Island and the Real World yesterday evening and I'm afraid I kinda enjoyed it. Must remember not to turn the tv on too often. I never watch TV normally but yesterday, I was bored with internet. Happens once in the blue moon... However, I must have kept this island thing somewhere because I dreamt I was on an exotic Island with the Canadian guy of my work! We had sex in front of some random Belgian singer and then he dumped me because he didn't want to endanger the relationship with his gf...

Hmmm did I forget to mention he had a girlfriend? Because he has. It would have been too good if he didn't...

No expected sex yesterday but I had a good time with Tomas. He was dressed for work (tie and the full monty), thus super sexy and I just wanted to hump his leg. Fortunately, I was able to contain myself...

And today, I'm just humpier. I don't know if it's the new job or just the fact that I'm surrounded by males, but I'm constantly horny. Anyway. I've got this friend Matthieu, i've known him for a few years. He's French, sexy and has always wanted to keep contact with me, even through my rough times. I suppose we would have started something if he hadn't had a girlfriend. At least, he told me so. We haven't seen each other for a year now, because we ...er... kinda slipped last year (=had wild sex on his couch). We still talk on MSN and when I told him I was going to work for XXX, he said he used to work for them too... And still have contact with people from there. So today, he sent me a mail saying he heard about a cute blonde who's just started working at the siege... id est MEEEEE! Voilà, all those ramblings to say I got a compliment!

Hmmm. I feel lyk a total KeWLieZzz today. No idea why. I'm going to see War of the Worlds tonight. Tiz is gonna be crowded and I'll have to sit on Tomas. Which is güt. Why am I so sex-oriented? It's not lyk I'm going to have some soon... Or maybe some unexpected sex? Don't think so!

OMG! I want to make out with the Canadian guy in the copy room. On the copier. I want him to whisper naughty things in my ears with his cute accent. I knew this new job would bring interesting things... Please Catherine, don't start thinking with your knickers because this is NOT good.

Why am I feeling so miserable? I haven’t felt so bad for months… I just want to curl up in a little ball and die. I’m nothing but a worthless piece of fat. I’m so ugly that I want to tear up every single part of my body. FAT FAT FAT. I wonder how people don’t spork their eyes out when they see me. And I’m such a bad person… I bitch at LB, I bitch at my parents’, I bitch at my best friend’s… Fighting with everybody and imposing my bad mood on people who care for me. I don’t deserve happiness, anyway. I deserve to be a worthless piece of crap. Which I am.

Yeah, cool. It's not even 5 am and I'm already awake. Just like a kid, I'm too excited to sleep!

So, that's it. After one month of relative freedom, I'm starting my new job tomorrow! It was getting boring anyway, I had too much time on my hands to b/p... I went to the office yesterday to sign my contract and I was introduced to everyone. Many guys, some were cute but I suppose they're all married with children! I'm praying I'll have an internet connection but that's less than certain.

I wish I could do some constructive things today instead of eating. Like:

- Buy 2 light bulbs for bathroom and kitchen
- Do some cleaning up
- Write mail
- Clean/empty fridge
- Clean/empty kitchen cupboards
- Walk 1/2h