Journal created:
on 1 June 2003 (#1091107)
Updated:
on 29 February 2012
Name:
trying to be happy
I've learned how to be a grown-up, but it doesn't mean I have to forget how to be a child.
"Was she happy? In the end?"
The Doctor's Reward, Dr Who, The End Of Time (pt 2), Season Finale
"I look back on where I'm from
look at the woman I've become
and the strangest things
seem suddenly routine...
...I put on some make-up
and some LaVern Baker
and pull the wig down from the shelf
Suddenly I'm Miss Beehive 1963
Until I wake up
And turn back to myself."
Wig In A Box, Hedwig and the Angry Inch
..."And what if I stay?"
"You will find yourself destroyed by grief. All you know will be around you, and at the same time far from you. Better to find a new place now."
People do go back, but they don't survive, because two realities are claiming them at the same time. Such things are too much. You can salt your heart or you can kill your heart, or you can choose between the two realities. There is much pain here. Some people think you can have your cake and eat it. The cake goes mouldy and they choke on what's left.
I came to this city to escape. This city is full of towers to climb and climb, and to climb faster and faster, marvelling at the design and dreaming of the view from the top. At the top there is a keen wind and everything is so far away it's impossible to say what is what. There is no one to discuss it with."
Oranges Are Not The Only Fruit, Jeanette Winterson
I am:
passionate, loyal, angry, gentle, intense, thoughtful, friendly, considerate, bitter, shy, forceful, articulate, anxious, flamboyant, generous, selfish, provocative, emotional, intelligent, ethical, uncompromising, singular, determined, private, charismatic, radical, friendly, principled, late, honest, marmite, difficult, open, idealistic, stubborn, romantic, geeky, unusual, awkward, helpful, blunt, kind, critical, lazy, hardworking, silly, fierce and a hundred other conflicting things.
I moved to London to study something of great interest to me, which will hopefully provide me with a career i can be passionate about, and a reason to get up in the morning.
I'm working on creating and nurturing a social network in London.
Most of my journal is friends-only, or filtered to smaller groups, so if you've been friended, you might not see the whole picture straight away.
If you do friend me - please introduce yourself or i will not friend you back.
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