Content warnings: abuse and assault of all kinds, forced medical/psychiatric intervention, forced sterilization, anti-trans bigotry, and of course ageism and ableism.
Other housekeeping notes: 1) I’m not going to detailedly explain every point below; I’m hoping that if you’re reading this you have at least a beginner’s degree of understanding on some of these topics. And I’m guessing you don’t want to hear me ramble THAT much, this is already going to be long as heck. 2) Yes, some people say adultism (and confusingly, others say childism) to refer to youth-targeted ageism. I just go with the third most of the time to try to be clearer to folks who might not recognize the other words.
Anyway. I’ve been wanting to write this post since very first starting my blog, but never felt quite okay enough to. (I’m not sure I’m okay enough now, but, you know… screw it.) You see, this topic is intricately wrapped up in my personal trauma history – I can’t go into that, for various reasons, but I hope you readers can accept it as my truth. The thing is, now that I have adult privilege, I know that I’m practically/materially-speaking less vulnerable to post something like this than a young person would be. So I consider it a sort of moral responsibility to do so, despite what still feels like vulnerability to my sympathetic nervous system.
This might not be fun to read if you have abled and/or adult privilege – and sorry, but I’m not sorry about that. It also may suck to read, however, even if you don’t. Because it’s going to spell out a bunch of the horribleness you put up with (but maybe try not to think about too often, given your lack of recourse and/or degree of rage). Or, it might suck to read if you find yourself wanting to push back on these ideas… To be honest, I’d argue that might be due to internalized stuff. But of course I can’t actually determine that for you; you be you!
One of my main points of this post is to point out the ridiculously extreme amount of (and overlap between) specific types of violence and violations of autonomy that both youth and disabled people experience due to the respective oppressions they/we experience. And I want to be incredibly clear that this violence is deeply compounded when wielded against people who fit both populations – that is, youth with disabilities are bearing the brunt of what’s already terrible for disabled people and young people overall. And that’s before you factor in additional oppressions that many youth with disabilities experience in this dystopian kyriarchy we all live in. Anyway, here is a non-exhaustive list of examples of violence and violations of autonomy I see happening to youth, disabled people, and especially disabled youth in this society:
(I’ve got no idea how to meaningfully organize these, so I’m literally just alphabetizing by the first word in each phrase.)
- a pattern of pernicious psychological manipulation from every direction (family, school, media, law, etc) that very often leads to internalizing these oppressions to the point where folks completely believe they are categorically incapable and undeserving
- an utter lack of presuming competence (sure, until/unless proven otherwise, but that’s kind of what ‘presume’ already means)
- anti-trans nonsense such as forced puberty, conversion therapy, lack of access to medical transition, lack of safe and affirming bathroom access, and all the rest that is so much worse for disabled/young folks who are deemed incompetent of consenting to transition let alone just understanding themselves as who they are
- “baby talk” (outside of literal infancy)
- congregate “care” and institutionalization, whether partial-day or 24/7, including group homes and schools and more
- denied freedom of movement/travel
- denied rights to choose where to live, who helps with one’s care, who is one’s legal guardian
- disenfranchisement/restricted suffrage rights based on age and/or disability
- extremely high rates of physical and sexual assault and abuse
- just being touched in any way without giving permission (or even getting an accessible explanation)
- lack of appropriate supports in every sense, including everything from sufficient accommodations to sufficient financial resources
- lack of opportunity to own and spend one’s own resources if/as desired
- medical violence including forced medical/psychiatric interventions of all kinds, lack of (accessibly-)informed assent/consent processes, “the Ashley treatment” and other forced sterilization and reproductive violence
- micromanaged and/or interrupted peer relationships; meanwhile, denied opportunities for cross-community relationships
- overt verbal abuse and threats
- privacy violations
- restrictions on (uncoerced) work/volunteering; where allowed, unfair payment structures and segregated settings… alternately, being forced or coerced into work/volunteering that isn’t intrinsically desired
- the expectation/coercion/training to act less disabled/more mature when that’s what’s most convenient for the abled adults with power in any given setting
- very limited choices in how one spends time, what to learn, and how to learn
- withheld opportunities for even relatively inconsequential choices (what to wear, how to play, etc)
- withheld opportunities for even the most basic human choices (what to eat, when to sleep, etc)
I worked hard to refrain from leaving comments after every other item along the lines of “HOW IS IT NOT CLEARER TO THE AVERAGE PERSON how messed up this is?!?!” But, seriously. If you currently have abled and/or adult privilege and haven’t thought through some of these items before, please consider them deeply now. Would you be angry if these things happened to you based simply on another protected characteristic you fit, or another personal trait you have no control over? Because they’re happening to young and disabled people on a ridiculously huge scale – and again, it’s even worse for youth with disabilities, and even worse than THAT for disabled youth who are otherwise marginalized.
But it’s not just the specific types of violence and autonomy violations that these populations experience which overlap; from what I’ve seen a lot of the justification and rationale given for said violence looks pretty similar. (It should be noted that the same justifications tend to be used in elder-targeted ageism, too, though that’s not the focus of this article.) So, what’s the usual justification? The word “can’t”.
That word was probably popping up in your brain at least a little bit as you read the list above, along with the words “yes, but – what about…?” You know: what about REALLY young folks who can’t ___? What about ~severely~ disabled folks who can’t ___? What about people with a “mental age” of ___? What about people with intellectual disabilities? What about nonspeaking people? What about people experiencing psychosis? What about toddlers? And anyway, isn’t the frontal lobe not fully developed until age 25? Young/disabled people simply cannot do all the things you’re imagining, so the restrictions you’re complaining about are really just protections!
Sound familiar? This refrain certainly still pops up in my brain sometimes. But here’s the thing: the ideas permeating our culture about what young/disabled people “can’t” do are operationally categorical, based on assumptions about what the presence or absence of certain disability traits and/or calendar dates inherently imply, rather than taking individual variation in actual skills and abilities into account. And sorry to swear, but: it’s bullshit. (I remember being SO mad about this as a teen, when I was finally clueing in to these oppressions and the supposed justification behind them. Honestly that anger never really dissipated; can you tell?)
There’s also a pervasive myth used to back up these oppressions that needing supports (either in specific areas or in general) somehow disqualifies a person from the ability or right to exercise autonomy. This is also bullshit. That should be obvious. If it’s not obvious to you, well, I’m not sure I know how to explain it.
As for the “they’re protections, not restrictions!” subjustification for the list above, that’s paternalistic nonsense which is ultimately damaging in so many ways. This idea that “we know better than you what’s best for you” is bullshit too. Like, sure: physically prevent a toddler from running into oncoming traffic! If that’s the devils’ advocacy your brain is coming up with here, then yeah, I’m a fan of saving toddlers from imminent death! But most broader applications of this basic phenomenon of paternalism wielded against youth and people with disabilities are insulting encroachments upon their/our freedom. When abled adults really are urgently supporting the safety of young and/or disabled people, they tend not to do so in a way that is as least restrictive as possible. And there is little to no dignity of risk allowed.
I realize there are times where we really truly definitely do think that we know better than someone else what’s best for them – in fact, this happens sometimes or even often between abled adults (including those with similar amounts of privilege/power in additional areas)! But I’d hope that we’d approach that scenario, if it involves youth and disabled people, with the same honest caring, respect, and eventual freedom of choice we would give a nondisabled adult. That is, if it’s not a matter of serious urgent danger, then please explain your thoughts and feelings behind what it is you’re hoping the person will choose for themself. Make your requests again and again, if that’s what you feel driven to do from your deepest most genuine humanity. I don’t mean that these conversations should always use identical vocabulary or structure or etc across all ages and all disability traits; individual access needs and communication styles of all kinds are important to recognize and adapt to. But the respectful attitude behind the conversation, and not wielding your power/privilege over the other person to eventually force what you think is the right choice anyway, should hold across ages and dis/abilities.
On that note, I suppose this post could end on more “what TO do” or “what SHOULD happen” type thoughts, rather than focusing only on the overlapping manifestations and justifications of these oppressions. So: what would a better world for youth and people with disabilities actually look like?
I don’t entirely claim to know, although off and on I work on a fiction project that begins to explore that… At baseline, I’d argue that because nearly global harm has been done at this point in history, nearly global amends are probably necessary. In my opinion this probably involves the sovereignty of youth and disabled people to whatever extent is desired – both personal/small-scale and political/large-scale sovereignty. Whatever happens along these lines should be led by the most marginalized; my understanding is that this is all inherently inextricable from other struggles like #LandBack, reparations, and more. Those aren’t my areas of expertise, though, so please listen to people who do have that expertise instead of me!
In the end, there has got to be some better freaking system than “are they X age?” and “do they have X diagnosis?” (and all the variations thereupon) for determining what an individual person’s actual skills and needs are! I’m not sure I know what that looks like, but I have to believe it can happen. And there’s got to be an end to the compulsion and coercion of disabled people and youth; seriously, unschooling and deinstitutionalization should be the very basic bare bit of a beginning here. Not to mention, I hope anyone reading will consider this post in part an outright demand for an immediate end to the most overt violence such as assault and abuse.
Okay, I’ve got no neat wrap-up. Just, thank you for considering (or at least, maybe, tolerating) my ranting on this subject. I’m turning off comments for this post, assuming I can figure out how… Because again, this is all connected to my own trauma history, so unfortunately at this point I can’t calmly handle even respectful discussion on these deeply held beliefs. Yes, I realize that’s a problem. But in any case, given my current privilege in terms of age, I think it’s my responsibility to consider the views of (disabled) youth on these points, so I am open to receiving messages regarding this post from you if you identify as such! Please use the contact form on this blog to reach me. And again, thanks for reading.


















