happy for the good news!
From the Supreme Court, of all places! They saved the best for last. And the timing can't be beat--just before Pride Weekend! Who'd have thought Ireland & Mexico, of all places, would beat us to it, but at least we weren't very far behind.

I'm happy for so many people I know, although as far as I know none of them are immediately affected by the decision. But if the 2 daddies down the hall ever need to move to another state, they won't need to worry about whether that state recognizes their marriage or their parental rights.

The timing is also good for my cousin's daughter & her fiancé. Not that they plan to live in 1 of the states that didn't allow same-sex marriage; technically it won't actually be one. But she's bisexual & he's trans, & they're getting married next month! Is that the ultimate queer wedding or what?

(Comment on this)

happy for the good news!
From the Supreme Court, of all places! They saved the best for last. And the timing can't be beat--just before Pride Weekend! Who'd have thought Ireland & Mexico, of all places, would beat us to it, but at least we weren't very far behind.

I'm happy for so many people I know, although as far as I know none of them are immediately affected by the decision. But if the 2 daddies down the hall ever need to move to another state, they won't need to worry about whether that state recognizes their marriage or their parental rights.

The timing is also good for my cousin's daughter & her fiancé. Not that they plan to live in 1 of the states that didn't accept same-sex marriage; technically it won't actually be one. But she's bisexual & he's trans, & they're getting married next month! Is that the ultimate queer wedding or what?

(Comment on this)

happy new year! & everything else; what'd i miss?
Wow, I went back to my LJ page & saw it's almost 1/2 a year since my last post! I didn't even realize, & certainly didn't mean to go so long w/out posting. It hasn't been nearly that long since I read my friendspage, but still a pretty long time, aside from a really quick check maybe 5 or 6 weeks ago. So Happy New Year, & belated happy all the other holidays of the season!

I've missed a lot of what's been going on with you all, & apparently there've been changes to LJ in that time: my friendspage doesn't go back to even 20 posts, & the "previous" & "next" links are gone. I can't find a way to get back to earlier posts, either. I can go to individual journals & see what's there, but it'd be simpler if I could do it on my friendspage.

Part of the reason I didn't check in for so long was a complicated freelance job that took up way too much of my time (although I did manage to get to Philcon, & even won the songwriting contest on the filk track!). Now I'm working on catching up w/things, incl. deciding whether to change my Affordable Care Act coverage--I need root canal surgery (yeesh), & the dental plan that comes w/my current health insurance won't cover it for most patients >21 years old.

Well, I'll leave it at that for now...getting late. I hope it's a good year for us all.

(3 Comments |Comment on this)

what it took to get me on twitter
Yes, it took till yesterday. Was it a pressing political issue that I just had to chime in on? No, it was an interview on NPR w/the author of a book called Just My Typo. At the end, the host asked listeners to tweet their favorite typos. And I had such a good one that I had to join so I could tweet it:

@NPRweekend #justmytypo All-time favorite typo: NYT ad for a “poofreader”! Maybe it was to correct magic formulas--”spell”check has limits!

I thought I'd posted something similar (but longer, of course) on ATPo quite a while back, but I couldn't find it.

Being me, of course, I had to read the complete ToS & privacy policy, & fit doing that in w/a sample edit for a prospective client & too much other urgent stuff. Then I had to rush to pick a minimum no. to follow, & I still don't have the best idea of how the whole thing works. I sent the tweet, & it showed up on my timeline, but I can't find it when I do a search on @nprweekend &/or the hashtag, or even on "poofreader." Maybe I did it wrong? Obviously, I'm new at this, & there's a lot I don't know about it.

I don't know how much I'm going to tweet or how many people I'm going to follow. I get the strong feeling this could become a major time sink, so...taking it slow.

Speaking of which, I'm sorry I haven't been keeping up w/my friendslist, for quite some time now. I know I've missed sending congratulations & even condolences in at least 1 case. Life has been too full of stuff, mostly the wrong kind.

(Comment on this)

otter mom video from environment blog; "on being" segment about fairy tales & tv shows
For all the mothers out there, & especially for LadyStarlight: The Rainforest Site's Mother's Day blog entry says sea otter mothers are among the most devoted in the animal kingdom. Their description kinda sounds like what was expected of pre-women's movement human mothers. Check out the video evidence.

And today's On Being was about fairy tales & current TV shows based on them, incl. Grimm, Once Upon a Time, True Blood, Game of Thrones, & even Hunger Games. This public radio show describes itself this way: "On Being opens up the animating questions at the center of human life: What does it mean to be human, and how do we want to live? We explore these questions in their richness and complexity in 21st-century lives and endeavors. We pursue wisdom and moral imagination as much as knowledge; we esteem nuance and poetry as much as fact." Sometimes it seems to have a lot in common w/a certain website on things philosophical in connection w/a vampire slayer. That's particularly true of this episode.

Enjoy!

(Comment on this)

makin' it so for public radio!
Patrick Stewart--yes, that Patrick Stewart--is a loyal member of listener-supported New York Public Radio (WNYC). And now he's made some wonderfully clever & very funny spots for the (radio, not space) station's latest pledge drive! He waxes Shakespearean, confesses that he only recently became a true New Yorker & how he did it, & works his celebrity status as "Sir Patrick freakin' Stewart" to influence listeners to pledge! That's not a spoiler, since it's right on the heading over the playback link. Yes, you can hear them for yourself on this page. I'm really glad to be able to share them w/friends who I know will appreciate them! (That's Leonard Lopate, host of WNYC's noon call-in show, btwn. Sir Patrick &...well, this one would be a spoiler.)

(Comment on this)

today it's been a year...
...since I was run over. It's been a real rollercoaster ride. I've seen how good & bad hospital/rehab care can be, & how bad (only bad) medical bureaucracies can be. I've seen how willing neighbors can be to help, & how that can go right & wrong. I've seen the kinds of assumptions people tend to make about what it means that someone's using crutches, from thinking I couldn't do anything to thinking that if I took 3 steps w/out them I was all better. I've learned that the wingnuts on crutches can tear swinging shoulder bags. I've seen something of a loose community form around my accident, incl. a family of 4 who were in a car nearby when it happened; the mother called out to me a couple of months(?) after I got home--I had no idea who they were, since I hadn't actually met them before & might never have met them if it hadn't happened. I've seen them a few times since around the neighborhood. I've learned my mind tends to compartmentalize things too much, to the point that I don't think of things that would help me. That's not new, but it's more of a problem since I've had to deal w/accident-related things.

I've learned that things can happen that...well, I'm not sure if I'd call this serendipity or what: I went to an app't. at a social services ofc. & then shopped at 2 or 3 health food stores on my way to the bus to go back home. Once I was on the bus, I realized that somewhere btwn. the ofc. & the bus stop I'd lost the off-red overshirt I'd had tied around my waist (1 that I've worn to some of the ATPo meets, & a favorite of mine). I had to go back to the ofc. 2 days later, & I decided to retrace my steps & ask in each of the stores if I'd lost the shirt there. Nobody had found it, so I went back to the bus stop, looking around to see if I'd spot it even though I didn't really expect to. I was looking on the ground, but out of the corner of my eye I saw a flash of red up off the ground. Someone had found it & hung it over the branch of a tree! I was amazed. I wanted to put up some kind of thank-you sign, but I didn't have anything to either make it with or hang it with. It seems like a small thing, but w/everything going on, it meant a lot to me. Since then I tuck the sleeves through an extra time when I wear something around my waist.

I still have pain in my pelvis & shoulder, & in my back since shortly after I stopped using the crutches. (I think it's because the crutches kept some of my weight off my spine.) I have to have separate app'ts. for each of these things (see above re medical bureaucracies). Sometimes it's not too bad, sometimes it is. When I got to the shoulder orthopedist, he thought he saw a possible fracture in my new x-ray & ordered an MRI. The PA called me afterwards & said it showed I'd had a fracture in my shoulderblade & a partial tear in my rotator cuff; no one had mentioned a fracture there when I was in the hospital, & they'd specifically said I had swelling in parts of the rotator cuff but no tears. I don't know if they missed it or if it happened later. (& I just learned that "rotator" is a palindrome! Never noticed that before. Cool.) And it's hard to keep up w/everything: medical, legal, getting work. (Last week I edited a revised/expanded version of the article I was working on for an acquaintance when I was run over. It felt strange to have it come around again almost a year after the accident.) And I still get tired more easily than before, which probably has something to do w/the having trouble keeping up.

1 thing I haven't managed to learn is not to stay up too late! That could have something to do w/my getting tired too, although I think it's also related to that thing I said way back then about how much energy healing takes.

(Comment on this)

public radio tribute to pete seeger tomorrow night (1 chance to hear it)
Tomorrow night at 10 pm, on New York Public Radio, Oscar Brand's Folksong Festival will air part 2 of his tribute to Pete Seeger. You can hear it streamed live (click on the red & black band near the top of the page), but this program isn't available afterwards to play back, so if you want to hear it you'll need to listen live or record it to play back later. (I missed most of part 1 last week myself.)

Oscar Brand's show has been on for 68 straight years. He & Pete Seeger were great friends, so this should be something special.

(Comment on this)

updated princesses; sherlock & real-life forensics
I heard about this on NPR Sunday: The Guardian Princess Alliance. A diverse group of non-stereotypical princesses who guard the Earth. The discussion in the comments gets interesting, incl. a (boilerplate, judging by its appearing 2x) reply from someone involved in the book series. Apparently this is the starting point for later books that will go further in challenging the image. Wonder if they'll take it to the point where you don't have to be a princess to do the things they do.

And PBS has a program on How Sherlock Changed the World--by influencing the way criminal investigation is done in real life: "From blood to ballistics, from fingerprints to footprints, Sherlock Holmes was 120 years ahead of his time, protecting crime scenes from contamination, looking for minute traces of evidence and searching for what the eye couldn’t see." It airs tonight (at least in NYC; your local listings may vary). Yike, 2 hours?

(Comment on this)

60
Today. Wow. How about that?

I'm more happy to reach this birthday than I'd have thought I'd be a year ago. Not that I was dreading it, but what I've been through in the past year has given me a special appreciation for having made it to this day.

I didn't do that much different today--got out earlier than usual to cash in a rain check (99¢ for a 1-lb package of organic carrots; I bought 2) at the local supermarket, came home & checked my email to find I've been invited to begin training for an in-house freelance job I tested/interviewed for last week, got small checks in the mail from a past freelance job & a cousin who sent one in a birthday card, got calls from my brothers & a long-time friend in DC, ran into neighbors at various times (& when some of them asked how I was, answered "60"), bought an organic fair trade chocolate brownie for a birthday treat, & generally took it a little easier than I would've otherwise. I'll heat & eat the brownie in a few minutes...& maybe get to bed slightly earlier than usual.

It's kinda strange to realize I'm 60. But I suppose I'll get used to it.

(19 Comments |Comment on this)

cats, maybe...?
I'm scheduled to start feeding the cat colony for the 1st time since my accident on Weds. (for a week). But meanwhile, the coordinator for the feeders called & asked if I could adopt 2 cats, a mother & son about 2 years & 1 year old. They've been fostered in 3 different places, & the coordinator wants to find them a place they can stay long-term.

I'm a confirmed cat person, & I know I'll have cats again sometime, but I'm not sure now is the time. ( getting personalCollapse )

So there could be some serious benefits, aside from the considerable benefit of having cats in & of itself. But I'm still not sure if I'm ready. I asked for some time to think about it, but I'm having trouble deciding. I'm thinking maybe a long-term fostering w/option to adopt...if I'm ready for even that, to start with?

(2 Comments |Comment on this)

otter alert for ladystarlight! even better...
...baby otter alert!

Just in case it's not already on your radar, LadyS, PBS is airing a new episode of Nature tonight, &--well, here's the link to their description. I had to check my friendslist to make sure you were still on it, 'cause it's been so long! But there you are, so this should show up on your friendspage. I hope you get the chance to see it! And I hope things are going well with you.

(Comment on this)

off year
I went to my high school reunion this weekend. It wasn't a year that ended in a 0 or a 5. My class's 1st reunion was for our 10-year anniversary, but since then most of our reunions have fallen in off years. This one was for the 42nd year, the year that most of us turn 60. (I still have a month to go.)

At that 10-year reunion, I got back in touch w/2 friends, & we've stayed in touch since. I stayed w/1 of them & her family, & that was at least as good as the events we went to (esp. the 1st night, which had a band that was so loud people were conversing by literally shouting into each others' ears). We went to the reunion events, then back to her house to talk late into the night. We started off looking through our senior yearbook (she'd asked me to bring my copy when she couldn't find hers) & ended up getting to know &, I think, like each other better. Oh--for my ATPo friends, this is the same friend whose place I stayed at for the DC meet!

The 2nd night, 1 of the 1st people I saw had been the other kid who (along w/me) was the main target of the mean kids, since elementary school. He had been going through it longer than me, because I didn't get to that school till 5th grade. The mean kids, of course, teased us about being girlfriend & boyfriend (we weren't), so of course I had to hate him. I didn't join the other side, but I wasn't nice to him either. We talked over those times & ended up hugging. Back in 5th grade, I'd never have believed that could happen, even 50 years later.

Not only that, 1 of those mean kids came over to me & apologized! It was really heartfelt--at least 1 of her children had been through some of the same kind of thing, & she saw how much it hurt them. She made the same apology to the man I'd been talking to, the one who'd been the other target. And another man, who hadn't been as bad as some of the others, told me he'd really been bothered by what he'd seen me going through. It was extraordinary.

There were also less emotional conversations, some of them just reminiscing about classes we were in together & events when we were in high school, & catching up on the 42 years since. Then again, I also had a long conversation w/2 classmates, 1 from Haiti & 1 from Brazil, who were both involved in alternative energy. One of them said solar panels were going to get much more efficient & inexpensive in the next couple of years, & the other was talking about which ones were made badly & weren't durable & which ones were. I said maybe I should tell the socially responsible investment co. where I have my IRAs to look into it! And that might actually happen; we all gave each other our contact info.

The 3rd day a classmate who'd stayed in the area hosted a potluck "picnic" in her (very big & nice) home. The other friend I'd kept in touch with, who'd had a conflict & couldn't make most of the weekend's events, did come to that one, but my host & I got there just as he & his wife were getting ready to leave. But they invited us to dinner that night. I had planned to leave in the evening, but my hosts said I could stay over again, so I changed my bus reservations & came home today instead. We all had a great time at dinner. I'm really glad I was able to stay & have some time w/my other classmate.

A recurrent theme was the federal gov't. shutdown. Several people from the class who still lived in the DC area, incl. my host's husband & (I think) both of our hosts for dinner, were furloughed from their gov't. jobs.

Now that I'm back, I'm going to email several of the people I exchanged info with. I want to keep in touch w/them. I haven't been very good about that, in general, & I'd like to change that.

(2 Comments |Comment on this)

no more crutches! yay!
So, having gotten my hospital records to my dr's. practice & gotten a referral, I saw the orthopedist yesterday. And he said I don't need the crutches anymore! So I'm back to the walking stick. I still have a long way to go, of course; I have nerve damage in my right buttock & leg, giving me oversensitivity in some areas & numbness in others. Nerves can grow back, slowly, but they're not likely to entirely return to normal. The pain may take up to a year to go away. The dr. showed me my x-rays, which...well, my pelvis is now lopsided. It was kind of disconcerting to see, but he said it shouldn't cause me significant trouble. I'm using the walking stick in my right hand. It's supposed to be the opposite side from the injured leg, but that shoulder is injured too, & it hurt when I tried using it, so I switched.

I had a whole list of questions I'd brought w/me to ask him, & I forgot all about it. I asked a few things brought to mind by the things he told me, & the rest...nope. One thing I did ask was whether the delay in getting my records, getting the ortho app't., & getting started w/physical therapy made any difference in the prospects for my recovery. He said no, which was a relief.

That physical therapy is next, & I'm hoping to start soon. My insurance charges the same copay for PT as for a medical specialist, & I'm supposed to go 2-3x/week. There's a PT practice in my neighborhood that I've heard good things about, & I'm going to check it out.

I called my brothers when I got home, so they'd be the 1st to hear the good news. This is major progress, & I'm happy to spread the word!

(12 Comments |Comment on this)

finally!
I finally got my records to the doctor! After 1 more really stupid glitch. Of course there had to be one. Or maybe two, depending how you count.

( This is long (as befits what it describes), so I'll spare you unless you choose to click. @>)Collapse )

So the obstacle course isn't over, but the finish line is in sight--meaning the line I have to cross to even get started. I guess that's the real crutch race I'm in.

(Comment on this)

i won, too!
...three, four.... Nah, I mean won things twice, in just the last few weeks! The 1st was tickets to a "Great Jazz Women" production at the Apollo Theater in Harlem, which I won as a giveaway from WNYC public radio! But I thought when I entered the contest that it was for the evening performance. When I got the notification that I'd won, it was for 3 pm...on Saturday. Also known as Shabbes. When I don't take subways or buses, etc. Which meant I'd need to walk over 50 blocks on my crutches. So...I allowed a lot of extra time & stopped to rest a few times, & I just made it. The music was good, but I thought the dialogue surrounding the songs was overwritten. For example, by the 2nd time (out of about 5) the stage manager character said her young cousin who wanted to sing jazz was "just here helping out today," it was obvious the cousin would get her chance to sing by the end of the show--or, as it turned out, the end of the 1st act. Best part: hearing Geri Allen live! But I'd rather most other women instrumentalists had gotten more than just a mention. I'm glad I won, & glad I went, although I was very tired the next day.

The 2nd was at a "Healthy Lifestyles NYC" event last Wednesday in my neighborhood--much easier to walk to. There were tables for things like healthy food, exercise, health screenings, & info about aging, health insurance, & various diseases to watch out for. I was surprised to find out that several "older adults" programs start at age 50, so I'm already eligible for them! There was also a raffle, & after the 1st few items I heard my name called. I'd won a gift certificate for a 3-month membership in a local gym!...that had to be presented no later than August 1st. I still don't know if I'll be off the crutches by then. I introduced myself to the gym's owner as the winner, & he took 1 look & said he'd extend the start date to whenever I was ready for that degree of exertion. Very nice of him, & it could be very helpful for getting back in shape. The gym had a demo class earlier, & the instructor wasn't overly !perky!, so this might work out. (I have a low threshold for !perky!.) The music was kinda hyper, which seems to be standard for exercise classes. Maybe they have a toned-down version? Or maybe I could wear earplugs. And I think I may be making some progress in getting my medical records & x-rays to the doctors (we'll see next week), so maybe I can find out soon how long it'll be before I can use that membership.

(Comment on this)

i must be getting better:
I've gone from feeling incredible gratitude to be alive & not hurt any worse than I was, & wonder at how all the parts of the body work together when they're working normally, to feeling annoyed-to-pissed-off at things ranging from the stupid little annoyances like dropping things when it's hard to bend over to pick them up & "Dammit, I put the crutches there so they wouldn't fall over!" to the ridiculous, downright idiotic ways of hospital bureaucracies. That's multiple bureaucracies in each hospital. I've been home nearly 2 months, & my doctors still don't have the x-rays that were taken in the hospital I was taken to in the 1st place. I did get confirmation that they're on CDs that were put in the mail (!!! haven't they heard it's the 21st century???) 2 weeks ago, but they haven't arrived yet, & I can't get an app't. until they do.

I could've written that (except the last sentence) 3-4 weeks ago, but I've been spending too much time on the phone to hospital staff trying to get my records where they need to go. The 1st thing they say is always "Well, just come in & pick them up." (I can't think of a single time they've said it without the "just.") It's 3 subway trains from where I live to the hospital where they took the x-rays, meaning I'd have to go up & down 6 stairways--on my crutches. You'd think it would occur to people who work at hospitals that people recently released from hospitals "just" might have mobility problems! Then there are the contradictory instructions from different depts., or sometimes even the same office.

On the other hand, once in a while I do find someone who's actually helpful, like the person in the radiology dept. of the hospital, who didn't insist I 1) come in person, 2) mail my request, or 3) fax it to have my x-rays sent but let me scan the release form & attach it to an email, which I could do from home! Yes! It really is the 21st century! Except that she still had to put it in the mail.... There's also my next-door neighbor, who's a retired hospital social worker & has given me some suggestions for things I could try w/the bureaucracies, some of which even turned out to be helpful. There are the people from the synagogue I've been going to in my neighborhood, several of whom brought me meals when I hadn't been home long through a website called Take Them a Meal, & friends, neighbors, & acquaintances who've shopped for me or helped me reach things in my apt. that I couldn't stretch or bend to reach.

And there are moments when the gratitude & wonder come back, sometimes even right after the frustrating moments. Like 3-4 weeks ago, when I could have first written this post. I was walking down the street, & the armpit pad on 1 of my crutches fell off again, & I was swearing about having to pick it up & put it back on. But maybe half a minute later I was looking at the cherry blossoms (yup, we have cherry trees in NYC too!) & just appreciating seeing them, & being here to see them. Oh--eventually I took some twine & lashed the pads onto the crutches. If only there were quick fixes for the other things.

ETF (edited to fix--hey, I made up an Internet abbr.!): link to Take Them a Meal. It's worth checking out--it covers the US & what they call "international addresses."

(10 Comments |Comment on this)

bruised in the bronx
I didn't mean for this to be the 1st thing I posted about after so long without posting. On Sun., 2/22, I was hit by a car as I crossed the street on the way home & taken to a trauma ctr. in the Bronx. I was very lucky not to have been hurt worse, & that Fri. I was transferred to an acute rehab facility, also in the Bronx. I'm still there, but it looks like I'll be going home on Tues.

As for why I didn't say anything about this till now, it had to do w/not having my computer, then having a freelance job to finish (even in my condition), then having very problematic Internet access, & then having complete exhaustion after daily physical therapy. I know there've been momentous happenings in many of your lives, & I've meant to respond, but...well, I thought I had so much to catch up on, & then this. I'll try to give details later. [[[[[major, serious hugs to all]]]]]

(30 Comments |Comment on this)

happy new year & various other winter-associated holidays!
I hope you all had enjoyable ones, whichever ones you had!

I had a minimal New Year's celebration, just went to a (very) nearby bar/restaurant during their 1-hour free open bar. That's about all I could afford. I did find some people I knew there & had a very interesting conversation that went places I didn't expect. I ended up staying longer than I'd planned--I was going to go to the place across the street for the actual transition to 2013 but stayed in the 1st place instead.

After a very sparse year for work--my worst yet--I now have 2 freelance jobs to finish by the end of next week. Both are from new clients, so there's a learning curve slowing things down at the beginning. Hey, I'll take it. But I'm trying to figure out if I can spare the time to go to a friend's birthday party tomorrow night. It did occur to me that I can take my laptop on the subway & work on the way, so maybe.... I hope these jobs are the beginning of a very busy year!

And that's all I've got time for. Wishing you a great year, whatever that means for you!

(2 Comments |Comment on this)

not just the guns
First, though: Oh, God. Every one of those children was 6 or 7 years old.

A lot of people are talking about limiting access to guns, & I agree with them. But it's not just the guns, although that's certainly important. We also need to destigmatize mental illness--or rather, mental illnesses. If we can start thinking of them as diseases that need treatment, & that aren't the person's fault, any more than physical illnesses, I think it will become more likely that people won't feel they need to be ashamed of having a mental illness or of having a family member who does. More likely that they'll feel it's acceptable to go for treatment. More likely that these illnesses will be addressed before something terrible happens, whether the mentally ill person is the perpetrator or the victim--& they're much more likely to be the victim.

I said mental illnesses above because there are many different kinds, & most of them don't make people violent. There's a stereotype that mental illness is associated with violence, & too often it's used to justify treating mentally ill people badly, whether they present a threat or not. And when they do, many people, especially in public life, describe them as evil instead of sick. In fact, in the U.S. the biggest program for dealing with the mentally ill is the prison system.

In New York State, we have Timothy's Law, which requires health insurance co's. to cover mental illnesses to the same degree as physical ones. There are still limitations on both, but it's more than most states offer.

I keep wondering, in so many cases, why does someone have to die before anything is done? Measures may be discussed, but it seems as if it always has to cost a life, or more than 1, to actually make any change happen. I remember a series of robberies of bus drivers in DC in the '70s, & there was a movement to simply switch to changeboxes that the drivers couldn't open, so threatening them wouldn't do a would-be robber any good. It wasn't even controversial, the way gun control would have been. But it didn't actually happen until a driver was shot to death. With gun control, even that usually isn't enough. I wonder if changing attitudes toward mental illness will be any easier.

(Comment on this)