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Anjenue,
We really missed connecting with you on your birthday last year. Indeed, it was a tough year for all of us. Dad started the year with severe backpain morphing into sciatica. We tried multiple non-surgical treatments, but the pain kept on increasing. Eventually, he felt there was no choice but to go through a surgical solution. The operation was successful in that it took away the sciatica (phew!).
That was in April last year. Being a major operation, we all knew it was going to need a long recovery. He was making great progress until he was knocked down by shingles, a very painful cousin of chicken pox. That set him back quite a bit. Nonetheless he continued to recover until, all of a sudden, without warning he came down with UTI – it was so bad that he could not move even one step without serious assistance. We ended up calling an ambulance to take him (back) to the hospital. And it was back to the time just after the surgery – another long recovery. Sadly though, while sciatica is history, the backpain is not completely resolved. He is back into physical therapy, pain treatment, and medications.
All through, he was diagnosed also with prostate cancer and Parkinsons, both causing some serious problems.
Enough said about dad’s problems. Suffice it to say that both of us are adjusting to our new reality, keeping a very positive outlook, and looking forward to each new day.
This year we heralded our 50th wedding anniversary. It would have been nice to go somewhere exotic to celebrate. Sadly though, dad has not yet recovered sufficiently to take on long distance travel, especially where it would involve air travel. So, most of our travel is by car, usually about an hour each way. We are taking steps to increase the time gradually. Tanya gave us a very pleasant and exciting anniversary gift. On the anniversary day, we received a video from her. It is a very special video. She had put it together using video clips from several of our friends and family members. We learned that she had the project underway for weeks. She got in touch with friends and family asking them to record a video message addressed to us. She put these together into a wonderful video.
Some other news. Tanya has been wanting a dog as a pet for many years. That wish has materialized now with a wonderful dog called Randall. His breed is German Pointer. He is still a puppy, and true to the characteristics, he is very affectionate and smart. She brought him to our home for a couple of days, and we really enjoyed his company, and more significantly, mom did not suffer any allergic reactions.
Your hearty laughter, your sunny smile, and those warm hugs - how we miss. Memories are as sharp as ever!
Happy Birthday, Princess Anji.
All our love,
Mom and dad.
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It is the time of the year – when the number associated with age notches up one more. No worries, it is just a number. And it is time for a big party. And knowing you, it would be a great party with friends and family in person as well as all those friends from far-away places brought home through Zoom or other technology.
Wherever you are, we know you would be surrounded by loved ones, may be a wonderful significant other beaming at you, perhaps already have started a family. Although we can never experience any of this, just the thought fills us both with peace and happiness. And the little ones running around you (in our imagination) remind us so much of the time when you and Tanya were little.
We moved to Virginia to be close to Tanya and Scott. At the time we both considered ourselves going into retirement, away from the daily grind. But it was not to be. Dad certainly continued to put in hours, albeit slightly fewer than before. Mom got into volunteer activities keeping her more than fully engaged. To top it, she took on a paid assignment to help our friends back in Plano. At the end of last year, both of us sat down and questioned ourselves about “are we retired or are we not?” The long and short of it is that dad officially retired in January this year and mom soon after. We both noted that retirement is not just being away from paid employment. A mind shift is necessary. It is very tempting to procrastinate, to put off things to the next day. Frankly, a little bit of that is a welcome relief compared to 9-5 assignments. Let it be noted that we indeed are working towards our retirement routine. And we do plan to travel, see parts of the world we long to see, and catch up with friends and family.
The thought of travel brings back happy memories of all four of us traveling, Hawaii, Canadian Rockies, Europe, - just a few of the places we made lasting memories together.
We think Covid is largely done. Life seems to be returning to normal – whatever that means these days. We don’t see too many masked faces and of course traffic is back to the pre-Covid days. Nonetheless, we hear some snippets that Covid is making a comeback and that, regrettably, also means it has morphed and coming back with a vengeance. We are awaiting newer shots to escape the Covid trajectory. But we will just have to wait and see. One major and lasting impact is that Covid has altered society, perhaps permanently. More people want to have the choice to work from home – they clearly see the freedom they get – not requiring to dress-up every morning, be able to multi-tasking at home etc.
Last year we conveyed the sad news about Lloyd. We had planned to visit with him before the end of summer last year. That did not happen – Lloyd had decided to defer his last days to be closer to the end of the year. We thought we definitely would make it to Ottawa to see him and bid him our farewells. That too did not happen. And Lloyd passed away of natural causes with both the daughters beside him. While the pain of making an active decision to terminate life had been averted, it still is sad to know that we no longer will see him.
We are chugging along. Age is starting to make itself felt in the usual ways. We laugh that we are not spring chickens anymore! And we are taking care of ourselves as best as we can. Between the two of us, we do have to manage a few health conditions, and the best defense is to approach life with gusto, enjoy every moment we can, even as we take care of ourselves and each other. Laughter, good home-cooked food, company of each other, tending to our garden, keeping connections with family and a few long-term friends …… this is how we each choose to keep our minds and bodies healthy.
Your hearty laughter, your sunny smile, your warm hugs are all around us, memories as sharp as ever!
Oh, how we miss you!
Happy Birthday, Princess Anji.
All our love,
Mom and Dad. | |
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Our Darling Princess Anji, Happy 40th Birthday Anjali .. wherever you are!
Today would have been your big 4-O. We are certain wherever in the world you found yourself, you would have many friends and had a big party. We know Covid really has hampered any plans we would have had to travel – but we would not have missed your party. If all else failed, we certainly would have used technology – ZOOM or something to be with you.
We are in our fourth year of “retirement”. Time to travel, re-energize our relationship with our family and friends. Spend some quality time with you and your significant other, as well as with Tanya and Scott. It is not quite working out that way. Mom has engaged herself in volunteer and leadership activities. Earlier this year dad’s boss in Dallas, asked if mom could help his company out. They were having a significant turn over, and they were struggling with their HR functions. She agreed to help out on a part time basis. But guess what – there is no such thing as part-time, especially with a small company. She quickly realized that the company needed a huge amount of organizing almost to the point of wondering if she made the right decision to accept the task. As you know, she is one who keeps her word. So, she is marching on.
We both seem to be putting in a huge number of hours in the various activities. After breakfast, we retreat into our separate offices and emerge for small breaks. We both agree that we feel like we are on a hamster wheel – running very hard but getting no further.
We thought Covid was done and finished. We made a trip back to Dallas for a company event. And both of us came back with Covid even though we are fully vaccinated. We went through quarantine. We both seem to be okay, but still a little wary of air travel and crowds. We had plans to visit family in the UK and in India, but both areas seem to be showing trend reversal. And we have put our plans on hold for a while.
We gave Rachel a small surprise. It was not too difficult to remember her birthday – it is the same as dad’s. We also knew she was about the same age as you. A very chocolatey cake was delivered to her to celebrate her 40th. She did call us later that evening to thank us and a good catch-up chat. Afterwards, we talked about how many such conversations with you, and your infectious laughter, we have missed!
Some sad news too – Lloyd is suffering from Parkinsons and he is spending most of his time in pain. We received a letter from Melanie – beautifully written – conveying his decision to bring his pain to a close. They have not decided on the date but is likely to be soon after the summer this year. We understand his decision perfectly but cannot get away from the feeling of acute sadness.
Happy Birthday, Princess Anji.
Oh, how we miss you!
Mom and Dad.
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Our darling Princess Anji, Happy 39th birthday our dearest Anjali wherever you are! Perhaps you would be settled down in your dream place – Japan – established as a super educator, teaching Shakespeare and learning/soaking in Japanese culture. Perhaps we would meet virtually through Zoom or Skype or some other way. Emotionally, spiritually, and in every other way, you are in our hearts and minds every day. And, today when we should be celebrating your birthday surrounded by family, friends, plenty of music, food, conversations, laughter, and of course a lovely cake with 39 candles, we so wish we could celebrate with you here. At present the world seems to be falling apart. Each day as we wake up, we look forward to the day ahead, our minds filled with positive thoughts, hearts filled with positive energy. All too quickly we are reminded of the ongoing pandemic. Vaccinations are available, and we were led to believe that we had won the war with the pandemic. Alas that is not to be! Politics, dogma, and to some extent sheer stupidity have raised their ugly heads, with scores of people rejecting vaccines. We now have a pandemic of the unvaccinated. Not only is the virus course on reverse, the new virus mutations have proved to be hugely problematic and dangerous. For us, and for people all over the world, last year was a washout. With social isolation for safety measure, we largely stayed at home, with very limited forays out of our home. After we got our vaccine shots earlier this year, we thought we had passed the big hurdle. We started making plans for travel to visit family, explore new places, spread our wings about after being cooped up for a year. Sadly, that lasted only a month or two. We feel we are now back into 2020 - all our plans on hold again. Zoom has filled in for online contact, hardly a substitute for real hugs, smiles, the energy of everyone being in the same room, and the hearty laughter – simple yet profound human pleasures you excelled at. We wonder what you would think of the current state of our country and the world at large. Climate change, wild fires, floods, end of the war in Afghanistan……..events that have shaken the world and human beings to their core. And yet, humans keep on keeping on! The resilience and determination of humans to make sense of their world continues to amaze and sustain us day after day, as do the memories of 25 years of happy times with you. Happy Birthday, Princess Anji. Oh how we miss you! All our love, hugs and birthday Wishes, Mom, Dad, Tanya
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Our darling Anjali,
Happy 38th birthday! How we wish we could celebrate this milestone all together, happy, joyous even, for no doubt you would have planned the event with considerable attention to detail, down to the type of candles on your birthday cake.
Darling daughter, the world is a changed place since your last birthday, for now we live in the midst of the Coronavirus, which has devastated families, healthcare workers, isolated people, shut down schools, businesses, restaurants, theater, cinemas….indeed all of life is altered as a result of this pandemic.
You read and collected a slew of fiction on such topics, and no one ever imagined real life situation in the time of a pandemic, but here we are in 2020, with lives, dreams, aspirations altered forever. What would you make of all of this, we wonder.
Even in the midst of this scary time, and perhaps because of it, humans are becoming much more focused on the importance of relationships, family, values, priorities. We wait for an effective vaccine to be developed, tested, and available, but that is a few months or even a year away. In the meantime, we try to conduct our lives in self-isolation, going out just briefly for necessities such as groceries.
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Our darling Anjali,
We miss you every day, and even more on your birthday. Your love of celebrations, of gathering friends to have fun with, planning your party down to the last details……we learned so much from you about “joie de vivre”. You taught us life is to be lived, and we hope you are doing exactly that, wherever you are.
Tanya will be celebrating her 2nd wedding anniversary on September 2nd. You would be so proud of the woman she has become, and the life partner she has chosen in Scott. He loves music, plays the guitar and drums and sings too. We imagine the wonderful impromptu concerts we would have had with both of you singing, and Tanya accompanying you on the piano. The mental images are so strong of these events, sometimes we believe they have actually happened.
In April this year, Tanya and Scott celebrated their joint birthdays here in our home in Fredericksburg, Virginia, where we moved last year, after 24 years in Texas. Their friends drove in from Washington DC, and for the first time in many years, our house came alive with the sound of live music, as they had an outdoor concert. We missed you so much.
You will be amazed that life in Fredericksburg, Virginia reminds us somewhat of life in Ottawa, Canada. Four distinct seasons, trees, lakes and rivers close by, beautiful fall colors, and an actual winter with just enough snow to shovel. But the biggest reason for us to move here was to live closer to Tanya and Scott, just about 60-90 minutes away. They visit us frequently, and spend weekends with us. We miss you even more even as we enjoy their company, wondering what the conversations at the dinner table would be like, what music would be played, what games would bring the competitiveness in each of us.
We are trying to make the best of the happy times we are fortunate to experience, even as we wonder how different life would be, with you here, with us.
Wherever you are, our princess, we know you are happy, and showing others how to make the most of each day.
All our love and birthday wishes,
Mom, Dad, Tanya
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Darling Anjali,
Happy birthday, princess Anji! Today, you turn 35 years young, and excited to be in the midst of preparations for Tanya’s wedding in just two weeks.
Would you have returned from Japan just for Tanya’s wedding, or would you have returned to live in the U.S? We dream about the things that might have been, the many, many happy times we all might have had together, and continue to be sad at all the milestones we never experienced together – you turning 30 for example, or Tanya turning 30, with you teasing her about it!!
Whatever your occupation would be, wherever in the world you might have chosen to live, we know you would find your way home, to spend wonderful few days with us, laughing, cooking, watching movies, discussing politics, teasing each other, and so much more.
What you would think of the current politics in the U.S., remembering the excitement you felt in 2007 and early 2008 as Barack Obama became the favorite of Democrats. How disappointed would you be that the first serious woman candidate for President, Hillary Clinton, lost the election to Donald Trump, and how the country has changed as a result of that one election. I can just imagine the discussions we would have!
We miss you so much and wish every moment that you would be here, with your big smile, hearty laugh, providing Tanya advice, confidence, comfort, as she prepares to take this major step in her life. You would love the wonderful adult that Tanya has become, and her choice of Scott as her life partner. Would you have a serious partner by now? Music and politics are Scott’s passions, and I can just see the three (may be four) of you discussing the state of the union, or jamming – him on his guitar, you singing, Tanya on the piano…..just having a grand old time, communing with each other.
We feel lonely without you – Tanya even more so, as she has had to learn to get along in life without her sister, confidante, advisor, guide, and her fiercest and most loyal friend. It is a loss we can barely fathom, even after all these years.
But today is your birthday, and we try to fill our thoughts with happy memories of the twenty-five years we were fortunate enough to have you with us. Happy Birthday, princess! All our love!
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Happy 34th birthday, Princess Anji, Wherever you are! We are very sure you are adding much joy and fun to the lives of those around you. We just wish that you were here with us. We miss you very much every day.
Tanya, your little sister, is a grown woman, mature, self-confident, finding her place in the world, and finding happiness in her life ....and missing you, your company, your wise counsel.
She and Scott have been dating seriously for three years! The big news this year is that Scott proposed and she accepted. It was very sweet and gentlemanly of Scott to make a special trip to Dallas to tell us of his intentions in person. And I guess we contributed some to the lead up and make the surprise even more memorable.
They have decided that they want to have their wedding next year- in 2017. The two of them have been diligently planning the details, with the wedding date depending on the venue selection. After much homework and visits to many potential venues, they have narrowed their choice to one they both like and it is available for the date they have been considering. Once the contract is signed, it will all be real.
During this time period, more than at any other time, we know she would have relied on you, your super ability to organize things, maintain a level head, inject fun into even the most stressful situations. As parents, we add a different dimension, but not that of a trusted sister. She is moving bravely through, determined to make happy memories.
A few other major events....
Alastair and Stephanie are on their second baby - expected later this year.
Ruth and Rob have their firsts - Freya. Bill is a really happy and proud grand-dad. Just so sad that Brenda did not get to experience grandparenthood.
Lydia and Ryan have their third child - a daughter this time. We are planning to visit them later this year.
Melanie has moved on to the big apple - she appears to be enjoying it a lot.
Mom has a new job. This one definitely requires a lot of heart, and there is so much to do. You absolutely would have loved to be associated with her current organization, with your multiple skills and your passion for teaching.
We are living our lives every day, drawing strength and comfort from each other, focusing on the happiness that is around us, but always with a hole in our heart, feeling your absence every single day.
All our love,
Tanya, Mom, and Dad
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It is March 29th, 2016………eight years after our lives were changed forever. Every detail of this day and the early hours of March 30th are seared into our hearts and minds, never to be forgotten, the pain never to be dulled, the tears never too far away from spilling over, the heartache at the tragic loss of our vibrant, full of life Anjali never to be fathomed.
Alas, this tragedy did take place. Tonight, as we re-live the worst nightmare of anyone’s life, we will ourselves to remember the happy, carefree, laughter filled family times and two young girls – Anjali and Tanya – filling our days with pure joy and parental pride.
Eight years later, we have learned to talk about Anjali with each other without choking up all the time; we have learned to remember the things she found funny and laugh without her throaty laugh filling our ears; we have learned that we have been bestowed with her as a precious gift to cherish albeit for just 25 years and to miss her for the rest of our lives.
Anjali’s presence brought sunshine, happiness, laughs, music, intellectual discourse, Trivial Pursuit, love of movies, good food, company of her friends who quickly became family friends.
We have learned to carry on even while missing her terribly every single day.
Tanya has grown up in the midst of this sadness. We admire her sense of purpose, her values, her disciplined approach to life and can’t help wondering what Anjali would be like today. Still teaching in Japan? Back in Santa Fe? Blazing new trails somewhere else in the world? Would she have gathered a group of friends to produce a reprisal of Rent? Would she be teaching still or on to another newly discovered career choice? Alas, we will never know.
What we do know that we were blessed with the presence of a remarkable young woman in our lives. Someone who was wise beyond her years. And we are so proud to say ”That’s our Anjali”.
We miss you so much Princess Anji!
With all our love,
Tanya, Mom and Dad
30th March, 2016
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August 19, 2015
Anjali would be celebrating her 33rd birthday this year and we, her parents and Tanya, her beloved sister, would be celebrating right along with her…….wherever you are our Princess Anji, please know we love you and miss you terribly.
As we follow the different paths her friends have taken………..
Lisa Giles with her two adorable children and happy family life with Steve,
Anand Sitaram in control of his own life and future as a proud gay man enjoying himself as a singer, a research scientist, a dancer, and an activist,
Robert Gonzales, shining as a teacher, a teacher-trainer, a dad to a beautiful little daughter,
Jessica Thalacker living the dream Theater life in the Big Apple,
Lindsey DeLand, loving everything about Japan after her multiple visits there,
Alastair and Stephanie with their first-born Lucia,
Jeanie Murphy who has found her calling as a Transplant Nurse, and pursuing exotic cuisine,
Rachel Gratis really enjoying her work with On Set Computing, and her reptile friends.
…..we have come to realize that life does and must go on, because life is for living to the fullest capacity possible. Anjali would be so proud of her friends – but then she always was the supportive, encouraging, loyal friend.
Anjali, In your short 25 years in earth you showed us how enjoyable life could be. You embraced everything about it, savoring every moment, deriving great pleasure from the most mundane things to the most sublime. Your full laugh reverberates in our minds bringing tears to our eyes for its silence, yet strangely comforting because we imagine you are happy, joyous even and your laughter continues to be part of you.
You would be so proud of your little sister Tanya – an accomplished young woman working for Vox.com, living in Washington D.C., and figuring out her future without the wise counsel of her big sister. Sadness overwhelms all three of us at the enormity of our loss – a life to be lived without the sunshine you brought with you into our lives.
We take comfort in the thought that wherever Anjali is, she is exuding her positive energy, being a friend to so many, and bringing joy to all with whom she interacts. We take comfort in her memories and the good times we had. And long for more….
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