and_complicated

Photo Shoot Out 3 Brickfish

So just as I was feeling like I was the best thing on earth besides buttered bread, the universe throws a lemon at me, and you know I gotta make me some fkn lemonade with it.

( Sip on this lemonade, bitch.Collapse )

( fuck my lifeCollapse )

I feel like I only write on this when I'm in a bad mood or sad. I should write when I am happy more often so it doesn't look like I just bitch and complain all the time. Whatever, it's what I use this thing for; my bitch fest and whiny rants. I'm allowed. So, if you don't wanna hear me bitch and complain about how bad my life sucks ( don't click thisCollapse )

So apparently I have just been cursed with bad luck this year. I can't seem to shake the bad luck or replace it with positive, feel good awesomeness. Things just keep pissing me off day by day and it's those little things that are setting in and pissing me off. Here goes my rant on how shitty my life has been:

( angry rant cutCollapse )

Oh yea, and we got a new puppy. She's really cute; she's a chihuahua/dauschaund. Her name was Teuilla but we've renamed her Talula/Talulu/Lulu.

I believe in peace, bitch.

I feel like this is going to be a new chapter in my life. I feel like I am breaking through a threshold. Will anything ever change?

Words Leila gave me to elaborate on.


Tori Amos- I FUCKING LOVE TORI AMOS!!!
Her music is sweetness to my ears. She has strengthened several friendship bonds with her music alone. I can honestly say that I love everything about Tori. I love her political and social views on life, I love her life story, her music, her clothes, her beautiful red hair, and most of all her influence. I just got through seeing her live this past summer with some good friends and we actually ended up meeting her. I was ecstatic. Call me crazy, but if ever asked: "Are you seeing someone?" I always want to reply: "I'm involved with Tori Amos."

Friendship- Ah friendship, what a lovely concept. Two humans coming together to learn from each other and grow together. I have never been a good "friend maker" really, but when I do make friends I am usually good at the whole process. To further demonstrate my love for Tori Amos, here is a quote by her that covers how I feel about friendships. "...It takes patience. And can be beyond frustrating. Giving people a second chance or the opportunity to do the right thing has always been my way. Is it disappointing? It can be, yes. There are moments when people I care about will choose the ugly response. Maybe they become consumed with their own blind desire and could care less who they take down as a result. What a result. Have I accredited a person with far more benevolent characteristics than they deserve? The future has shown me that this is a fact. My friends are not disposable or replaceable."

Art- I live my life for art. It is everywhere within everyone. I think it is practically impossible to walk to a corner store without experiencing some form of art. I also think that art is one of the most powerful forces in our world. Music, photos, paintings, writings, clothes, food, everything; it is all art. Art is inevitable and unstoppable. Art is immortal.

Inner feelings- I am a pro on hiding these things! Inner feelings. Who needs them?
EVERYBODY!! I hate the fact that inner feelings are not outer feelings. I think that if we all worked on displaying our inner feelings to the people who care most, our lives would run much smoother. Inner feelings are the keys to connection. Let's use them, people.

Life- Fuck my life? Maybe. But even when it's bad I try to remember the good things. Even though my life sucks, I have good friends that make it all worth my while. My life is awesome. Anyone not willing to share theirs can go fuck off.

**I edited all my typos. I'm supposed to give words that remind me of you if you reply. If you wants them comes and gets them.

"this is the beginning of a new age."


Life is new, things are new; places, names, faces, memories, photos. Erased. This is indeed the beginning of a new age and I feel it rushing up on me like the cars that ride your ass on the highway. One broken tie can destroy the whole thing, now it's time to rebuild. Do I need people like that? A crutch? You fucking wish you were my goddamned crutch. If that was the case wouldn't I have fallen by now? Yes I did have quite the slip, but I never fell flat on my face the way that you expected me to. I always knew my balance was good and not even a slip like that could send me to the floor. What I can't fathom though is the fact that you seem to be alright. Are you? Are you one hundred percent alright without me? Are your days still bright?Do I invade your dreams the way you do mine? Do you miss me? I hate not knowing. I hate not knowing.



"I guess I'm an underwater thing so I guess I can't take it personally."

I saw Nine Inch Nails last night and it was the greatest! I feel so fucking drained though!