So today I was at the library working on a group project. The people in my group aren't really my friends, there is Susie who used to be my best friend but said she didn't want to be friends, then there's one of my best friends who's like, a bit different when around Susie. Gloria is such a funny oddball in her own world, and Sana is pushy and too expectant. D:  So it was really awkward for me and such, but my Oppa came to see me :D 

Today I realized that people, no matter how perfect they seem to you, really aren't. There's this guy name Danny and he's 2 and a half years older than me and I used to think/still think he's like the coolest person in the world. Maybe it's because of the age difference, but we don't see each other in school and we hardly talk to each other. But today I heard about a little different side of him that was put in a sort of negative way, it wasn't that the person talking about him was bashing him. And there's my Oppa who is 3 years older than me. He's helped me A LOT in my bad times so I always looked up to him, sort of like a hero or role model in a way. But really, he's not perfect, he slacks off in school, he's lazy, has sort of rather low morals and such. It's like you expect something from people but when you see a different side you are sort of disappointed. It's not that I'm disappointed in those two. They are two people I really look up to, and they've helped me out in so many ways. But sometimes you just gotta remember that no one's perfect :]

I realized this a couple days/weeks ago. I have found the meaning of love and life.

Love is when you would do anything to protect that person[/it]. I feel that is the true meaning of love. This love covers love for family members, friends,  your significant other, pets, really it can be for anything even things that are not humans or animals.

Life is about finding a balance throughout everything. There is good and bad to life, there is laughter and grief. We just have to find a suitable balance between everything. 

Music will take you anywhere and everywhere &hearts

Happy holidays to all!!!~ I hope you guys are all warm and surrounded by your loved ones!! ^_________^ Did you all get nice presents? Even if you guys didn't get what you hoped for YOUR FAVORITE IDOL BOYS! I hope you guys enjoy!~ Keke

I owe some of my friends fics. I know ; _____ ; I'm really sorry guys. I've just been too lazy and uninspired T~T You guys can hold onto my fic until I finish yours.

I still need to give Sheena her pic spam and YeWook fic which I didn't start. Gyah. ::bricks self::

2009 is almost over, and 2010 is just around the corner. Is it just me or did 2009 just go by so quickly? Although it passed by in a flash there were many good and bad things that happened this year. I remember, I think it was back in December of 2008 that I got into Kpop. I don't think I got addicted until Februaryish of 2009, but wow, it's been about a year. It's really hard to believe that a whole year went by of following the boys and girls I've learned to look up to in the Korean pop culture industry. There are many new groups that debuted and shook the world. This was the year for girl groups right? But many new boy bands debuted too so don't worry ladies keke. Hmm, there are also bad things that happened in 2009. KiBum of SuJu is not holding activities with SuJu, KangIn and his car incident, HanGeng and his lawsuit, rumors of other lawsuits with other SuJu members. The lawsuit with TVXQ. Jay's departure of 2PM. The H1N1 virus that spread through the idols we care about. A`ST1 disbanded too. Gah. [I heard from somewhere that Toma, I think, posted that their company fired them. Which I'm not surprised, it's probably because they didn't drag enough money in, but it's the company's fault that they didn't promote them better because people actually were/is big fans of A'ST1] DaeSung's major car accident that scared everyone, G-Dragon's possible jail time. And there are other tragic big events that I can't remember right now that happened in 2009, the list just goes on and on.

In RL, 2009 held more pain, self reflecting, and growing rather than happiness for me. Of course I'm not saying I was empty of happiness in 2009, there are so many things that made me happy, smile and laugh. This year, I learned and grew more as a person by dealing with hardships that we all go through and experience as we get older. I don't regret anything nor do I wish "this or that" didn't happen to me. Even if those things inflicted hurt and pain on me, in the end they all helped me gain experiences to learn more about life, about myself, and help me grow into a better person for the future. We don't know how 2010 is going to play out for us, but let's hope that we will make new and better memories together.

This year I found this amazing thing called Livejournal xD From there I met these amazing people, who've grown from strangers to friends. Really, the people I met because of lj, I am forever thankful to. Even to those who I have lost contact to. They are all an important part of me and each and every single one of them changed my life in ways they wouldn't believe. There are just so many to name, and I'm thankful to all of them for talking to me, giving me advice, making me smile and laugh everytime I talk to them, and just etc etc. I love you guys all forever.

I felt like this year especially, I learned a lot of things. They helped me become a better person, helped me build my personality, it helped me to become comfortable with who I am. I admit, I'm not always the person with the best decisions, choices, actions, words, or thoughts. But that's just what makes me a person right? I try to keep those moments to a minimum. I want to be known as someone who will make people feel comfortable, someone who would only say good things about others. I want to be that person who helps build someone's confidence while still being honest. I want to become a person that is not afraid of admitting my bad side. I got alot more comfortable with who I am this year. I am happy and content with my looks, I really am. Keke, although I wouldn't mind losing a few pounds and being more photogenic :P I learned how to smile properly, buwahaha, before it was like....crooked....but now it's more smiley, but I still don't like smiling with my teeth showing .__. I don't even know xD I like my eyes, no matter what people say about them [ahem, people, they are not small ;~;] I think my eyes smile when I laugh/smile which I like. I learned how to be kinda more photogenic through many sessions of selca LOL. I am short, and I don't mind, I rather like it that way. I'm not skinny, but I'm not "chubby" so I'm fine with that. ^___^ I can say I'm truly 90% happy with how I look. And I can say I am 85% happy with my personality :D

One thing I also noticed this year, I think I might want to major in music in college. I don't know what my parents will think of that but hopefully they will support me in that, which I think they will. The only problem with that is.....well I have no talent!!!! D: TT~TT There are so many amazing people out there who has such amazing skills of playing an instrument, or singing. Gah, really I have...nothing. I can play the violin, but I'm not good xD I can play stuff but their relatively easy. I've been playing for like 4 years now. Then I can hardly play guitar, I only know like ::counts on finger:: 6 chords? LOL. Then piano...oh gawd, I'm learning but........::bricks myself:: I am nowhere. I really hope that with the new year coming I can achieve more in music. :D Aja Aja fighting!

I guess that's it for now. Buwahaha. I'm getting hyper again. D:
Happy holidays everyone! :D

So I'm kinda at the point in life where everyone just talks bad about everyone behind their backs. We've all witnessed or have been in that stage right? Well to be quite honest I would like to say I rarely talk trash about people. Sure if someone is annoying me I might say "Oh blah blah blah did this and it's bothering me" but I'm not the type of person to say "Oh effing blah blah blah they effing did this, they should just go die blah blah blah". I actually kinda watch what I say no matter how much I don't like em 0_o The point is, everyone around me, I can hear the comments they make behind each others back, then a few weeks later they're best friends again, but then a month or two later they're talking trash again. It's a tiring cycle that bothers me. The reason I bring this up is because my best friends come up to me and they are always saying "blah blah blah is really annoying me right now and I don't like them anymore" and they talk trash about em and sometimes I'm afraid of the stuff they would be saying about me behind my back. Because I know, I don't have the greatest personality around and I get pretty moody. But still, it hurts to think that your friends are talking trash behind your back too. [It's happened to me quite ALOT so that's why I'm even more paranoid.] 

I'm so glad finals ended for me. I still have to do alot of stuff for science fair though. >_< I have to turn in my 2nd draft paper in tomorrow to the teacher. I also have a chem project due the day back from break. Tomorrow is the last day before break and we have a chorus concert so all classes are shortened to about 30 minutes each. I feel tomorrow we be a nice transition into the holiday break.  Bad news for me though is I was planning on going overseas for winter break this year, but one of our flights are not confirmed and it's the flight that's going out of here so we can't go at all. It sucks it really does. So I'm like sobbing about that forever, but the good news is I will be able to finish my "gifts" for my online friends. [^^ my presents already went out to my RL friends] sts_kingdom 

I should honestly be working on my homework right now but I'm doing what I do best. Procrastinate. I'm sure a lot of people have this problem similar to me right? D:

I would also like to say HUGE thanks to my online friends. Really, all of you guys brighten my day so much when I talk to you guys. You guys treat me so well and you guys give the most amazing advice. Sometimes I think you guys are better than my RL friends :P Since we've met we kept talking and kept in touch although we have to admit sometimes it's not very often. School and work keeps us apart >_< I really hope that when 2010 comes we'll still all be very good friends and talk to each other once in a while~ You guys are a huge part of my life and I would like to hope I am somewhat part of your lives too. I love you guys to no end, I really do. 

For right now I guess I've said what I wanted to say. I think I'm gonna delete my other livejournal account that I used for blogging regularly for my friends. Hmm..I guess...I just went through some problems and I have no motivation for it now, and I haven't updated it in like a month or something.  Everybody Fighting!~