The Age Gap Relationship Community

ello012 @ 10:33 pm: So happy I found this Comm.!!
I am incredibly happy to have found this community to find supportive people who may be in the same situation as I.  However, I need some advice...

My story is that I am 21 and my boyfriend is 52 and we have been together for a year and a half.  We see it as any normal relationship with someone I love and who loves me and can talk and express anything with one another.  Today, he even left my pre-Christmas present at my car at work to surprise me during my day.  We have talked about children and marriage and that has all been decided equally and openly.  All seems great, right?

The problem is with my mom.  I have known this guy for years and it has been through my mom and they are great friends.  However as we were readying ourselves to tell her, she dropped a bombshell...   After 10 months of us being together she told me she wished she could be with him but could not at the time due to my parents recent divorce.  I am now with someone that my mom wants...  WHAT DO I DO?  AND HOW DO WE TELL HER?  Any advise would be great, I'm struggling here to be with the one I love vs. my mom being disappointed and overwrought with anger...

hermiones_twin @ 05:54 pm: PostSecret Agegap love
I was reading this week's entries on postsecret.com, and saw this one. Had to share. :) 

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elsieellis @ 01:10 am: Meant to be!
The title of this post sounds incredibly cheesy, but let me assure you that I'm refering to the way I found this group and not to a wishy washy ramantic story! Although I am going to write about my story also :-p

Firstly, I found this group by accident when I searched for 'relationships' because it's something I'm interested in talking about and I wanted to join more communities. This was the 3rd result and as it fits me perfectly, I just HAD to join!!

So, my story...
I met my almost-husband when I was 19 and he was 43. We met on a question and answer website similar to yahoo answers and the like. He noticed in my profile that we lived in the same city in England and send me a message and we got talking from there. As far as we know, we're the only two people from here who were on that website as it is mainly populated by Americans.
He told me that he did a daily walk to the city and that he often sat at the fountains in the city centre. After talking some more, he invited me to go and meet him the following Saturday. I said I would if I wasn't busy and we left it at that. As the Saturday got closer, I ended up making plans for that day which meant I couldn't go to see him. I had the Friday free so I went then instead. He had no idea I was coming and we only had only seen one picture of each other. I got there and nervously waited around for an hour or so before spotting him sitting in the place he said he always sat. Unsure as to whether it was him or not, I walked over and said "I am not a sockpuppet" (the term we used on the site for someone who made other user accounts to fool/bully people). We hugged, giggled, went to get a drink and sat talking for the rest of the afternoon and evening. The place we were in closed and I talked him into letting me go back to his place. He agreed and when we got there we sat up literally all night until 2pm the next day, just talking and talking and talking. I eventually had to go home but I was back on the Monday. That was the weekend of April 8th 2011 and I have been here ever since!

So that's as short as I am able to tell my story. If I went into all the detail we'd be here all night!

So far everything has been pretty much perfect. We get on each other's nerves and we argue, but it's no better or worse than any other couple. We're both very level-headed people and we know that the age gap comes with practical issues and that some things may be harder for us, but we love each other, we're happy and we're solid enough to deal with things that need dealing with. We're getting married in 4 weeks and I can't wait! :D

I don't know any one else who has a relationship with a significant age gap so I'm looking forward to reading about other people's experiences and maybe offering some words of advice and experience too :)

jrl_girl @ 02:35 am: New to Age Gap Relationships
Hi there! I've been kind of seeing this guy I met at work, he's 9 years older than me... currently he is 28 years old and I am 18 going on 19 years old. Lets just say, my family isn't too thrilled about the age gap, but he and I already established to each other that the age gap doesn't bother us. 

But I realized that dating him is a lot different than dating guys my age. I've realized that he is, of course, a lot more mature and more experienced. I'm mature for my age, and I prefer this in a guy anyway. Immature guys are just not my cup of tea... I guess that's one of the reasons why I felt so drawn to him.

But my concern is how I can get my family to accept the fact that I want to be with him (I've recently gone through a little bit of trouble when my parents found out a little bit of his past and definitely don't want me with him now) I've just been seeing him behind their backs. I'm even to the point where I want to move in with him eventually as well as spend nights over at his house. 

I don't know how to get out from under my parents strong hold. This is the advice I really need more than anything. How can I convince my parents to allow me to see him, as well as eventually start spending the night with him and so on...

karanicole1228 @ 09:44 pm:

redhandedjilll @ 07:10 pm: New member making an introduction
Hello there! My name is Dehlia and I stumbled across this community awhile ago, but finally decided to join.

I've been in a relationship for a year with a man 13 years older than I. He's turning 37 in May and I just turned 24 in March.

We met online in a forum and I never really thought I'd end up with someone over 30, but I had a hard time resisting his charms. He was interested in me before he knew my age and was surprised at how young I was, since apparently I came off much older. Being a college student, I've encountered enough men my age to know that the majority of them do not interest me much.

We're currently long-distance, and he tries to come visit at least once a month. We have plans for him to move here within the year and for us to get a place together.

I mostly joined looking for people in similar relationships, and I enjoy reading everyone else's stories. I have an older sister who is married to a man significantly older than her, so luckily for me I have someone around I can chit-chat about that with.

But I like having a place to vent online as well, especially when it comes to incidences my friends don't understand. One that comes to mind is when he and I were in Las Vegas last month. We were hanging out in a casino and man approached me and started hitting on me right in front of him, then decided it'd be cute to make a joke and ask if he was my father. It was incredibly disrespectful and frustrating that he seemed to have such little regard for another person's relationship, and I'm sure you've all been there in some way or another.

Anyway,
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chiaro_mezzo @ 11:12 am: Hesitancy, or 'friends hold hands, right?'
I have this friend. We'll call him Court Reporter. Court Reporter is 57, and essentially we're very flirtatious and physical with one another. We hold hands, kiss (although, for us gay men, a quick peck on the mouth is a pretty standard salutation) and hug often. We sing in the same chorus and always hang out during chorus events.

Last year during Pride, we were at an afterglow with the chorus and we sat next to one another. We bought each other drinks and eventually wound up sitting on a loveseat. He put his head on my shoulder and dropped his hand to my lap. We sat there, holding hands as his head rested on my shoulder for a bit, and then he looked at me and smiled and kissed me. I was living out of town at the time, so he drove me back to my hotel (I was also sans car) and we parted ways for the evening. The next day at the Pride parade, he was acting a little cold. I was worried that maybe he had feelings for me and felt snubbed. That's how this whole thing started.

In September I told him I was interested in him. However, his reasons for not being together were that he's 30 years older than I am and, unbeknownst to me at the time, he was still with his partner. We continued to flirt, hold hands, and hang out quite a bit. He acts in ways that I'm not sure a person would were he really not interested -- for example, he remembered the date when I had become engaged the year before (I no longer am), and one night at rehearsal pointed out that his outfit was something I would wear; we traveled together for outreach shows with the Chorus and, right before I traveled to New York, went out for dinner together. That's when I really started getting confused. He walked me back to my car and we bear hugged and said our goodbyes. I put my hands on the side of his head to kiss him on the forehead, but he thought I was going for his mouth. It was almost like we were both trying to do something more, but couldn't bring ourselves to. After a good long while of that, he said "We have to stop this" and walked back to his car.

I feel like he's sending mixed signals and that maybe he is interested but doesn't want to be because he's so much older than I. Court Reporter and I are good friends and I don't want to jeopardize that, but part of me is wondering if he wants something more -- because I kind of do, too.

Thoughts? What is going on here, people!

x_jessicah @ 07:13 pm: Hi, I'm 21 years old and dating a 33 year old man.

I've been using LiveJournal for years now, and lately I've been wanting to talk about my relationship. 

So, here it goes... 

Brad and I met in 2009. Automatically there was a very strong connection between us. Whenever we were in the same room, we couldn't take our eyes off each other. 

Not to sound too creepy, but he looked/sounded/acted exactly like this "dream man" I had created in my head when I was a younger girl.

We started dating in 2010, and I have never been happier. It did take Brad awhile to get over the age gap, but after awhile he forgot about it... because we're very similar people.

Now we live together, and are planning a life together. Lucky for both of us we each found a partner we have many things in common with. We love laughing, and we share the same values/morals. We've been through rough patches in our lives, and neither of us ever thought we'd want to settle down with someone.

But here we are now, talking about what kind of engagement ring I'd like.

Sadly, I lost my best friend since I started dating Brad. Since the beginning she hated him, and I could never figure out why. After a year of dating Brad, I decided enough was enough and I had to cut the friend loose. I guess I had to stand up for my #1 priority.

Not that I've always had a "thing" for older men... jeez, I've even dated women... but I'm very happy that I'm with an older man now. He treats me so well, he's my best friend.  

justmediya @ 01:26 am: How do you deal with fears of his death?
Hi. I'm 18. I've been dating a guy who's 18 years older than me for the past 8 months. He's healthy, and fit, but I'm paranoid with abandonment issues. Whenever he's sick, or even tired and sleepy, I start to worry. We're long distance, he lives alone, I can't even look after him. His sickness always scares me. I also get scared if he forgets to text after reaching work, or after reaching home from work. And a lot of times I remember that most probably he'll die before me and I'll be alone. We've been together for a short time, but he's everything to me, and I'm very dependent on him. Just the thought that death will separate us terrifies me, even though it's way too many years away. Any ideas about how to deal with this fear? Thank you in advance :)

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clyde_doll @ 09:42 am: Gave up on the age gap relationships, to end up in another...
I always use to date older men, the oldest gap being 21 years older than me. He had a son 2 years older than me.

Finally I came out, and decided to live as the true me. Which when I came out many people said,
"Yeah we knew you were lesbian for a long time."

I did not put expectations on the kind of woman I would like to meet, with men I did want older. I did not wanna put expectations on this, I wanted someone who would make me happy not matter age or type.

I live in a very Mormon populated area (or did) so I knew the lesbian dating scene was small. So I posted something on Okcupid.com. Eventually M messaged me, she had no intention of falling in love or starting a relationship. In fact when we started to talk, she was very addiment about not being in one. The more we talk, the more I broke down her walls with out trying.

She is 13 years older than.
Once we started to get close, we clicked. And we both started to know this was no ordinary love. I moved in with her just shy of our two month anniversary. I have never felt this way about anyone, we are perfect for each other. We are complete opposites, and we balance each other out. We tell each other you are exactly what I thought we never needed, and that is true.

So in giving up in LOOKING for an age gap relationship, I found the woman who will be my wife someday who is 13 years older than I am.