Snakesonaplanegame.com is LIVE!
Check it totally out!

Next time a friend scrapes your car up on a 4 am trip to the ER, ( demand a tattoo in return!Réduire )

The story of how long it took to actually get the thing is quite amusing. Let's start with day one( ... day the first...Réduire )

Humeur actuelle: pleased

No one should have to wake up to Tom Jones covering "Burning Down the House".

Humeur actuelle: indescribable

Click click click!



Click click click!

Thanks to pettythief, I've become obsessed with the dresses on daddyos.com. I found this one on ebay and am dithering over money I can't afford to spend. 36 minutes to decide...

Apparently, Gin is being walloped by a hurricane. I had no clue that that was even a possibility until NPR told me after lunch. I know hurricanes have been getting worse lately, but holy crap, it's only June. We usually don't have to freak out until August.

Bart: Cool! Personalized plates. (reading them out loud) Barclay... Barry... Bert... BORT? Aw, c'mon! "Bort?"
Little boy: Mommy, Mommy! Buy me a license plate!
Mother: No! Come along, Bort.
Man: Are you talking to me?
Mom: No, my son is also named Bort.
Second Man: Quick! We need more Bort liscense plates in the gift shop!

Five Things That Have Happened Since I Last Updated
1. Went to a wedding that was across the street from two prisons.
2. Drove to the ATL airport 3 times in one night.
3. Purchased THE PERFECT SHOES (I got the ones in "linen").
4. Drove the Georgia Wine Highway and sampled a bottle of wine that actually said "Thar's wine in them thar hills!"
5. Began having an ongoing series of dreams in which the cast of M*A*S*H are captured by the Chinese and Hawkeye is ass raped. We've taken to calling it Fuck It (Literally), the post-M*A*S*H spin off. We've also had some entirely too hilarious conversations about Chinese ass torture.

Also: Smike and teh Kari are leaving next week instead. We were having too much fun, Rick James style.

Current Location: library
Humeur actuelle: cheerful

I am ecstatic!

Tomorrow morning: pick up Jcca, my best friend from elementary school, who moved away in 2nd grade.

Friday: New tattoo. Moz or John Lennon? Only you, the voters, can decide.

Saturday: Go to the Good Ole Georgia Throw Down Hitch Up, aka the wedding of a distant friend from elementary school featuring KEGS OF BEER , with two surprise guests (Clara and Jcca, both of whom went to school with us)

Sunday: Drop Jcca off at airport, pick up SMIKE! My Smike is visiting, along with his girlfriend, whose name doesn't lend itself to our rhyming scheme.

In other news, I've been looking for apartments in DC/surrounding areas. One of the floorplans of a high rise was called Choptank. I rest my case.

As some of you know, Clara and I spent most of the flight to Argentina creating a Snakes on a Plane drinking game.* Last week we purchased Snakesonaplanegame.com. We have 49 rules, none of which I think will have much to do with the film and therefore nullify the use of our game, but whatever.

For the fiftieth slot, I want to create a rule based on a famous internet in-joke. I've already used Chuck Norris and the Numa Numa kid. Please comment with your favorite internet fad. Feel free to refer friends to this poll.

On a completely unrelated note, typing the subject line to this post reminded me that in my two long ass dreams last night (one of which featured Suicide Club style bloodshed in a subway track), there was an intense argument between Zach and Slater over who'd get to bang Kelly at the prom.

*I swear to god I'll post about Argentina eventually. I'm going to be moving my computer to my parents' house to upload/work on the site, so I can upload the photos then.

Humeur actuelle: productive
Current Location: Athens-Clarke County Library, YA desk

Ten Things You'll Know When You Finish Reading This List
1. My childhood friend Katie is getting married the weekend after next and we're surprising her by bringing Jessica to the wedding. This will be the first time that Jessica, Katie, Clara, and I have been in the same room together since Jessica's 8th birthday.
2. Smike is coming to visit!
3. Something highly important and exciting has happened, but I have to wait before I can tell you. I doubt any of you are reading this anyway. ...So now I'll get 15 I READ IT comments.
4. My summer reading program is off and running! The kick off concert on Saturday evening went amazingly.
5. I failed a drug test at work. They didn't fire me, but I have to do "counseling".
6. I read We Were the Mullvaneys last weekend. I seriously want to write a letter to the author about how pissed off I was about a certain aspect of the novel.
7. I was listening to my favorite song off the Delovely soundtrack last night and I almost drove off the road when I realized how "Blow, Gabriel, Blow" might not actually be a song about redemption.
8. I'm winning the department "How many pages can the YA staff read?" contest by 1000 pages.
9. The packet of Ramen and wierd letter that I got last week weren't actually from the editor, as the signature implied. I'm very creeped out by this.
10. Clara and I have registered Snakesonaplanegame.com.

Oh noes! Paul and ::refrains from pegleg jokes:: have called it quits!

Pop quiz: why are all of the Wiggles ugly?

Also, I want you all to know that in my dream last night, tiney showed up at my door dressed in black vinyl bondage clothing. She claimed she was the devil, and I was like, dude, no, you're Tiney. Then missnipnups showed up in a hideous 80s-inspired white lace dress and said she was the angel of mercy. I was like, dude, no, you're so not. But then to prove it, Tiney conjured a silver metal thing full of poison and Nina conjured a bottle of Vueve Cliquot O_o The dream then devolved into Smike and I driving his car through endless car washes.

Humeur actuelle: tired of cleaning Wiggles dvds

MY EDITORIAL WAS PUBLISHED IN THE ATHENS-BANNER HERALD!

In my letter, I referenced my days as a college student and bemoaned the existance of
Ramen noodles. When I came in to work today, there was a package for me on the desk. It
contained a packet of chicken ramen noodles, a dollar, a coupon for a
haircut, and a note from the opinions editor himself. It said:

Dear Vivian:
I hope the enclosed helps you out - don't let the library door hit you on
the ass on the way out! From one liberal weenie democrat to another...
yours truly, Jim Thompson, Editorial page editor
P.S. - Regardless of what you think, no employer owes anyone anything --
you will learn this the hard way, as you get older and wiser. We live in
the greatest country with the strangest economy in the world - so get off
your butt and get a better paying job, sweetheart!

I just laughed myself silly. I really don't wish to eat the Ramen
noodles, though. I meant what I said about being utterly sick of them!

I was just standing on my parents' back porch and was struck with the notion that I well and truly love Matt in a permanent, man-it-must-suck-for-you-guys-not-to-have-him sort of a way. We decided a while back to stick with this thing until Bush gets our asses nuked, but I always worried in the way back portion of my worry sector that perhaps I was making a mistake, perhaps Matt deserved someone better than me.

One of the myriad reasons for my moving to Georgia last year was a faint notion that I needed to be away from Matt to examine what I really wanted. Now I just can't wait to be back with him, arguing about feta cheese and scolding him for throwing Q-tips at the cat.

I'm seeing friends from my past grow up and change, find new lives, find partners, get married and even have children. To a certain extent, these changes upset me, though I'm happy for the people who've found their paths in life. I wonder where the pieces of the people I used to know have ended up, and whether there's a cosmic shopping mall where children and teenagers representing each incarnation of our past selves wander and eat french fries.

I still haven't dealt with the mystery of what to do when your soul's mirror is sitting in another hemisphere, but perhaps it will come to me.

I've completely lost the thread of where I wanted to go with this (my mother keeps shouting about the dog having peed and that's a pretty solid thought killer). Reading it over it makes me wonder if Dad slipped psychedelics into my coffee. But this is my LJ, and I'll post incoherent ramblings if I see fit! If you don't like it, I'll Complot you but good!

The Three Best Feelings in the World
1. Finally getting to pee when you've had to pee for a really, really long time

2. Finding your wallet when it has been missing for days

3. Finishing a semester/paper/exam that briefly leaves you with guiltless free time

I am currently enjoying feeling #2.

Yesterday I got out of bed only to use the bathroom and to cook up some pasta. I finished Summerland by Michael Chabon and got most of the way through A Passage to India by E.M. Forster. Fatty spent the whole day on the bed with me. At one point she actually curled herself around my head like a hat made of fat cat. She fell asleep with her nose in my ear so I had to listen to her snuffle and rattle until she moved.

I really wish that I could access an FTP server at work so that I could upload new book lists and content to my stagnant and embarassing personal website.

I miss my balcony in San Telmo. On the far right? That was us.

I've applied to 3 jobs in Buenos Aires since Monday. I don't expect that to go anywhere, but hope springs eternal.

If you want "som dick", then you're probably too young to be getting any anyway.

Humeur actuelle: unimpressed

The show was okay. It was pretty much exactly the same format as last year's Variety Playhouse show, only with less energy and some new songs. This time I could actually *see* the Strongbad puppet. Also, I never thought that knowing the lyrics to Fqwgads (sp?) would come in handy.

Since Clara and Bryan arrived hours ahead of Matt and I, we were against the stage, but Linnell side, which I usually avoid. This time I enjoyed it - he seemed to smile at certain things that Clara, Matt, and I did, and it was a very Linnell-centric show, so it seemed appropriate. Linnell kept taking photos of the audience and he got a picture of Clara and I.

After the show, I got a set list from Marty Beller (poor Marty - everyone thought he was a roadie and kept shouting at him to grab them stuff; he literally just walked to the front of the stage and handed me the set list, so I guess that was what set people off). Then I waited for the crowd around Flans to disperse a bit (as I usually do, so that I can say geektastic things without too much of an audience).

Flans: Step up!
Me: Hey, Flans! Could you... uh... sign this? ::holds up Miller High Life belt buckle::
Flans: ...Sure. ::starts to sign::
Me: I have it for very geeky reasons. ::blushes::
Flans: Oh yeah? What's that?
Me: Well, you guys. Your song. Alienation's For The Rich.
Flans: ::chuckles:: Yeah... not good... (I assume he was refering to the beer, not the song)
Me: It's from 1955. I just got back from Argentina, and some people at a beer museum tried to get me to give it to them.
Flans: It's a treasure now! ::proudly hands back Flansified belt buckle::
Me: Could we get a picture? ::guestures to Matt and I::
Flans: Yeah, sure.
Me: You look tired.
Flans: Not tired, just sweaty.
(photo is taken)
Me: Thanks again.
Flans: No problem.

So. Not my best Flans interaction. I completely forgot to mention Austin.

Matt doesn't know it, but the Wilcard Wednesday activity for today is going to be Poke Vivian's Boyfriend With A Stick. Bwa ha ha. Also, though I know you will doubt, he is wearing a shirt with small lines of color in it! Not entirely black!

I swear I'll update about Argentina at some point. It is very hard to condense that much steak, wine, Quilmes, spanglish, taxi drivers, Haunted, and Crazy Monique into one entry.

I'll be posting about my Argentina trip in three installments (Mar, The effects of ridiculously cheap alcohol and steak, and Impressions of Buenos Aires). I hope to begin tomorrow. Pictures will be shared when I can get them uploaded.

Tomorrow night is TMBG. So much has happened recently that I haven't had time to let that properly soak in. I have been having a ton of dreams about them, though, including a very disturbing one involving multiple cars crashing and killing a bunch of young women while John, John, a random TMBG internet fan I don't even know, and I watched.

Humeur actuelle: busy

Uggggggh. I was going to call out of work today, but I made the ill-advised decision to check my work email. Apparently the woman in our department who does all of the stuff I can't do has quit, leaving Mary Jean and Ben missing two people. There were quite a number of frantic emails in there, including one of the all-caps I CAN'T WAIT TILL YOU'RE BACK OMG variety.

Getting ready to pack the car, wrap Fatty in Ganky and stick her in the back seat, put the cd Dani made me along with my fantastically catchy Argentinian pop cd and the rest of Sound and the Fury read on cd in the changer (I'm almost done with the Quentin section), grab a croissanwich, and head for the highway. Real life beckons :/

More when I'm alone at work tonight.

Last Tuesday I was in Argentina, enjoying steak for lunch and Quilmes cerveza at regular intervals. Le sigh.

POP QUIZ! Who is hotter: Jeremy Irons or Jimmy Stewart?

Humeur actuelle: nostalgic

I am home and alive. That's about all I have the energy to say right now.

Humeur actuelle: exhausted