†··¤ :: » xiah.bebeh «

Rei like totally rules guys!

xiahbebeh — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 23:20:20 GMT

Xiiah bebeh ;) You really shouldn't be asleep while someone like me has access to all your sites! Actually, don't be afraid, it's just me. Hehe. I hope I didn't erase anything. But anyways, this is a tribute to Rei! Because he is just so awesome and yeah. Wheee~ Thanks for letting him stay at your house while trouble brewed at home. Much love!!
~Rei

PS. Epic Fail!!
<3

xiahbebeh — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 06:42:47 GMT

{DEAR LJ}

&&;; { Insomniac Post o: ~ }

Has anyone noticed that my entries are really really really late at night? 8D Yay insomnia! ♥

Okay, I was going to decorate my wall after I took a ~~very late~~ shower, but I found that THE SCOTCH TAPE WAS MISSING!

.... D: This is really bugging me. I always (when I go to the mall) have to buy like a whole pack of scotch tape and then the times where I really need it, it's not THERE. I don't know what the hell my family does with it. I think they eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner. >___>

Tomorrow is the last day of school before march break! WHOO. FCKIN'. HOO. 8DDD
This is the day that usually no one even bothers to show up because it's basically no point. Students know that their friends won't show, staff knows it, teachers know it, whole school knows it. It's one of those unwritten rules. I would be one of those people who will be able to just snooze and sleep in if it wasn't for the two most annoying pplaced courses. D:

English ;; I have my essay to hand it. I was going to hand it in today, but my teacher never mentioned that she wanted it double spaced. >_> I should have sort of figured that.. but I wasn't think okay. *hiss*
Math ;; Test. Need I say more? u___u;

j_______j I don't even mind having to do the math test or anything like that. I just wish.. I had english and math 3rd and 4th or 1st and 2nd instead of friggin' 1st and 4th. I mean c'mon, I'll probably just end up staying the whole day and each class will be an agonizing hour and forty five minutes of NOTHINGNESS.

~~I R GOING TO WILLOW AWAY ;____;~~

Well, in happier news today I learned that semen has a lot of calories in it due to the components being mainly glucose, which is sugar. In the words of my friend DJ, she says that if you gave someone a blow job, you'd been gaining a TON of weight.

My logic.. well.. the sex works your body out and then the semen balances it... out..? >___> *SHOT*

Before I go, I have to say that Wherther's Chocolates are like sex in bite-sized pieces. FCKIN. DELICIOUS. ♥

Kay! XDDDD Bye now!

☆ ~ xi-xi </div>

xiahbebeh — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 22:56:03 GMT

{DEAR LJ}

&&;; { MAHBOBEH!! }

Ever try googling your username just for the hell of it to see what you would get?
.. Can you guess what google asked me about the spelling of xiahbebeh?
Try it. I dare you. XD

American History test went amazing just if you're curious. You know when you're doing those match-ups for a test and it's not by the process of elimination because you're teacher wants to really know if you actually know the definition or are just putting the words in because they feel right? (wow that was a long run-on sentence) WELL, I actually had NO doubt in my mind about any of them I was matching up. I. KNOW. I felt so damn proud of myself. XD The essay question was easy, since she told us like week in advance what it was going to be. "Who Shot JFK?" I put the Mafia and CIA. :c They are some shhaaddyyy sons-of-a-bitches

Now I have to face english test tomorrow AND a law test @___@;
English test is on Kite Runner the book.. more or less just the quotes from it.
Law test is on the Charter of Freedom and Rights.

I think it won't be that bad.. I think.. I'm pretty worried about the Law test. At first I was in Biology for second period but we have this really fcked up teacher. He has a PH.D so instead of actually teaching us, he lectures us. He also says some really mean things to a lot of the students in the class. Last year we found out that of the 50 something students that took his course (in grade 11) only SIX of them passed. D: Yeah, so I switched out like, two weeks into the semester.

Right now, the average of my mark is obviously lower than the other kids who have gotten a lot of checkmarks from homework and also they had already done one test. The teacher is totally cool, but he won't let me (and some other kids that switched out of bio and into his class) make up for it. That means we need to do really good on tests and be here like everyday to catch up. D: ftw~

I found it surprising that he wouldn't let us make up for any of the subjects. I was sorta like "o-o lawl.. uhm" but he's such a funny and amusing teacher. It's only on the charter though so I think I'll be set if I review. :3

Okay this going to be my spazz for like a long time ago buuttt...

♥ PURPLE LINE IS THE SEXIEST VIDEO IN THE WORLD!!! ♥

I prefer the Japanese MV and version of the song by far, but the performances for both korean and japanese is so. fcking. delicious! I didn't quite like Changmin's style when he was in Japan, same with Jaejoong just because I didn't like his hair flipping out. When they had their comeback performance of Purple Line (they lipped it) THE DANCING WAS AMAZING~ JUST... OMG SEX ON A STICK ♥

Changmin looks so so so cute with his hair in Korea. Junsu went blonde (really suits him) Jaejoong toned his hair down a bit D: I will really miss is nice blonde locks. Yoochun wasn't much of a change (but the stylist really did his hair nice) and Yunho is growing his hair considerably o-o Right now he has that messy bedhead look. <3 I like it.

About their sorta.. one member single deal. Both songs, Two Hearts and Runaway are both based on the tunes that they already sung on their T album >_>; I found that sorta.. meh. Then again AVEX did do that to Namie Amuro's "Nobody" (they used the tune from "White Light") It just sounds.. really funny.. 8D; Especially Runaway when Yoochun does that "Try again, Try again, Try again now!" It just sounds so bootleg from the actual song TRICK. XD;

Mom's making some soup -3- omg yess~ It just snowed a shitload where I live. Surprisingly it wasn't cold, it was just annoying to get through all the snow to make it to school. >_>; I actually liked walking home today. I took the long way home afterschool and the scenery was beautiful. Fresh, clean, untouched snow resting on the banks of what used to be green lawns. The sunlight was shining with just the right aura to make the place look sorta.. magical. It was very peaceful.. I wish my phone hadn't died on me so I could take a picture. :c

That's all for now xD I think I'll go review for Law and English :x Wish me luck! ♥

☆ ~ xi-xi
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xiahbebeh — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 03:21:13 GMT

{DEAR LJ}

&&;; { Because.. I honestly can't update to save my life D: ~ }

'Cause I fail with a capital PH. If anyone is actually still checking for my journal updates, here's what going on with moi :D ♥

So basically my last entry wasn't actually an entry, it was more like advertisement to sell my anime merchandise. Therefore, I feel that I should try and update more? I should really try my best. >>; I feel so bad since people tell me they've missed me and my rants and entries. I PROMISE I SHALL *ATTEMPT* TO POST AT LEAST ONCE A WEEK.

Let's hope procrastination doesn't kill me first. 8D;

Mm, let's start off with now I'm in 11th grade which means I actually have to get serious. Well no not really, more like half serious and then grade 12 is full blown seriousness. XD (Oh god I wonder how I will survive University with this logic..)

If anyone is actually curious of what courses I'm taking.. it is stated as followed;

English - University Course
Canadian Law - University Course
American History - University Course
Mathematics - University Course

So far, everything's been pretty good. Tomorrow I have an American History test on JFK and the Cold War. I actually find american history so amazingly interesting o_o Same thing with law. I never realized how many rights we've had and how many people I could have told off for violating my rights as a Canadian citizen 8D; I love learning about the law since there's so many contradictions in the charter for today's modern society and it's actually quite amusing to see how people settle their disputes and what proof they use to back it up.

Anyways, life seems to be getting more and more busy. I've made new friends, talk to old friends. The work is a bit harder. I actually need to study for tests just to refresh my memory. My friend that goes to university just says that it's going to get harder from here so I'm hoping to pick up some sort of working habits by the end of grade 11. I really need discipline when it comes to getting down to work. I work fine when I'm in class or if I'm at a library but when I'm at home it's like "WHOO DISTRACTIONS 8D"

This is all I have to say for now, since I'm running a blank. I think it's because I'm trying to studying history. XD I promise I'll post maybe later on tonight! I have a million and one things to say.. I just can't remember them at the moment. Education is bad for your health.. most definitely >>;

☆ ~ xi-xi
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xiahbebeh — Mon, 24 Sep 2007 04:31:04 GMT

{DEAR LJ}

&&;; { ONLINE SALE!! BUY'EM WHILE IT'S HOT~ }

I'M HAVING A SALE! 8DDDDD

Okay, so ever since I came into my Asian Music fetish, my love for anime has not died completely, but has shrunk considerably. In turn to this, I have decided that I want to sell my mid-condition anime at a fairly cheap price (at least lower than store prices) so those of you who love anime with all your heart can buy ^^. My friend jaejuu has collaborated her post with me to also sell some anime goods and a few kpop posters. So don't stop scrolling until you've seen both of our posts. ;3 ♥

XIAHBEBEH MERCHANDISE

[Manga] Shaman King (vol. 1-6) [$5.00 each]
[DVD] Shaman King Box 1 (vol. 1-2) [$10.00]
[DVD] Shaman King Box 2 (vol. 3-4) [$10.00]
[DVD] Shaman King Box 3 (vol. 5-6) [$10.00]
[DVD] Shaman King Box 4 (vol. 7-8) [$10.00]
[DVD] Shaman King Box 5 (vol. 9) [$10.00]
~~[DVD]~~ ~~Shaman King Part 1 (epi. 1-26)~~ ~~[$25.00]~~ Purchased By koyuki_azumaya

** Note: If you purchase Shaman King Volumes 1-9, you will receive a special discount price. :] ~

[Manga] Chrno Crusade (vol. 1) [$5.00]
[Manga] Chrno Crusade (vol. 2-5) Purchased by Shippo
[DVD] Chrno Crusade (vol. 2) [$10.00]
[DVD] Chrno Crusade (vol. 3) [$10.00]

[Manga] Inuyasha (vol. 14, 17, 25) [$5.00 each]
[DVD] Inuyasha Box 1 (3 discs) (vol. 1-3) [$15.00]
[DVD] Inuyasha Box 2 (3 discs) (vol. 4-6) [$15.00]
[DVD] Inuyasha Box 3 (3 discs) (vol. 7-9) [$15.00]
[DVD] Inuyasha Box 4 (3 discs) (vol. 10-12) [$15.00]
[DVD] Inuyasha Box 5 (2 discs) (vol. 13-14) [$10.00]
[DVD] Inuyasha Box 6 (2 discs) (vol. 15-16) [$10.00]
[DVD] Inuyasha Box 7 (3 discs) (vol. 17-19) [$15.00]
[DVD] Inuyasha Box 8 (2 discs) (vol. 20-21) [$10.00]
[DVD] Inuyasha Box 9 (3 discs) (vol. 22-24) [$15.00]
[DVD] Inuyasha Box 10 (3 discs) (vol. 25-27) [$15.00]
[DVD] Inuyasha Box 11 (3 discs) (vol. 28-30) [$15.00]

** Note: If you purchase Inuyasha Box Set 1-11, you will receive a special discount price :] ~

** Note: Unfortunately, I don't have the Inuyasha Box Set 1-11 in my posession at the moment. One of my cousins borrowed it and I will be seeing them ASAP with the DVDs. Until then, if you would like to purchase it, I will put you on a reservation table and have it on hold for you :3

[Manga] Rurouni Kenshin (vol. 2-6, 28) [$5.00 each]
[DVD][Bootleg] Rurouni Kenshin 6 DVD Boxset (epi. 1-48) [$15.00]
[DVD][Bootleg] Samurai-X: The Motion Picture [$7.00]
[DVD][Bootleg] Samurai-X: Reflections [$7.00]

~~[DVD][Bootleg] Saiyuki Reload Full Boxset~~ ~~[$20.00]~~ Purchased by Shippo
[DVD][Bootleg] Saiyuki Gensomaden 3 DVD Boxset (Part 1) [$15.00]
[DVD][Bootleg] Saiyuki Gensomaden 3 DVD Boxset (Part 2) [$15.00]

[Manga] D.Gray-man (vol. 1-2) [$5.00 each]

[Manga] Kanpai! (vol. 1-2) [$5.00 each]

[Manga] NANA (vol. 1-2) [$5.00 each]

[Manga] Magical Miracle (vol. 1, 3) [$5.00 each]

[Manga] Lagoon Engine (vol. 1-2) [$5.00 each]

[DVD] Shakugan no Shana (Part 1) [$15.00]

[Manga] Legend of the Twilight (vol. 2) [$5.00]
[Manga] Ranma 1/2 (vol. 7) [$5.00]
[Manga] MAR (vol. 1) [$5.00]
[Manga] Rave Master (vol. 1) [$5.00]
[Manga] + Anima (vol. 1) [$5.00]
[Manga] Zodiac P.I (vol. 1) [$5.00]
[Manga] Samurai Champloo (vol. 1) [$5.00]
[Manga] D.N Angel (vol. 2) [$5.00]
[Manga] Loveless (vol. 2) [$5.00]
[Manga] Shugo Chara (vol. 1) [$5.00]
~~[Manga] Saiyuki Reload (vol. 1)~~ ~~[$5.00]~~
[Manga] Full Metal Alchemist (vol. 5) [$5.00]
[Artbook] Full Metal Alchemist Arbook [$20.00]

[DVD] Legend of the Twilight (epi. 1-4) [$10.00]
~~[DVD][Bootleg] Full Metal Alchemist Full Boxset (epi. 1-51)~~ ~~[$20.00]~~ Purchased by syldoran
[DVD][Bootleg] Final Fantasy Advent Children Movie (Japanese, English subtitles) [$7.00]
[DVD] Law of Ueki (epi. 1-25) [$15.00]
[DVD] Chobits Disc 2 (epi. 5-8) [$10.00]
[DVD][Bootleg] Eremtar Gerad Full DVD Boxset (epi. 1-26) [$20.00]

JAEJUU MERCHANDISE

[Manga] Death Note (vol. 5-8) [$5.00 each]
[Manga]Death Note (vol. 1-4) Purchased by Tiff

[Manga] D.N Angel (vol. 1-5, 8-9, 11) [$5.00 each]

[Manga] Mahoromatic (vol. 1, 3-5, 7) [$5.00 each]

[Manga] Samurai Champloo (vol. 1) [$5.00]
[Manga] Evangelion (vol. 1) [$5.00]

[Manga] Chobits Complete Set (vol. 1-8) [$5.00 each]

** Note: If you purchase Chobits Complete Manga Set, you will receive a special discount price :] ~

[Artbook] How to Draw Manga (vol. 2) Penning Characters [$12.00]

[Artbook] New Generation of Artists; Gensho Sengiyama Profile (vol. 2) [$12.00]

~~[Artbook] Salty-Dog II (Saiyuki Artist)~~ ~~[$20.00]~~ Purchased by cyancat

[Wallscroll] Burst Angel [$10.00]

[Wallscroll] Chobits [$10.00]

[Poster] Naruto [$10.00]

[DVD] Peacemaker Kurogane Complete Boxset [$50.00]

[DVD] Chobits Complete Boxset [$50.00]

[DVD] Chobits vol. 3 (epi. 9-12) [$10.00]

[DVD] D.N Angel Complete Boxset [$50.00]

[DVD] Mahoromatic Complete Boxset [$50.00]

[DVD] Evangelion Complete Boxset [$50.00]

[Wallscroll] Bi Rain [$10.00]

[Poster] DBSK Fighting Spirit [$10.00]

[Poster] Jin Jun (Love Does Single) x2 [$10.00 each]

ORDERING INFORMATION

- You must have paypal in order to order from us unless you wish to use snail-mail. In that case, it is 100% your risk when using this method. We are not responsible for any lost money lost in transaction.
- You must pay for shipping for your country (We will calculate that for you :3) We are located in Canada :]
- The format that you should use when placing an order is like so:

NAME:
LJ USERNAME:
FULL ADDRESS:
COUNTRY:
E-MAIL:
ITEMS WANTED:
TOTAL:

- Please e-mail all orders to our mule account: orderanime@hotmail.com The subject should be [Names of person you are ordering from] Order or something along those lines. It just makes organizing a lot easier. :]
- If you would like to haggle and are purchasing more than three items, then we will consider giving you a discount. ;D We're nice people. We won't bite your head off. XD
- If you have any questions about any of the items or ourselves, then please leave a comment here and we'll get back to you ASAP ;3

Thank you for stopping by! Make sure you tell all of your friends. ;3

♥ ~ Xiahbebeh & Jaejuu ~ ♥
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xiahbebeh — Fri, 14 Sep 2007 05:04:18 GMT

{DEAR LJ}

&&;; { OMFG!!!! DDD: }

AHHHHHHH!!! I TOTALLY PHAIL AT UPDATING!!!
SCHOOL HAS STARTED FTW~~~
I HAVEN'T EVEN TALKED ABOUT MY CUBA TRIP!!!
&& HOW PISSED I AM ABOUT MY WALLET TURNING BROKE OVER HOT ASIAN CELEBRITY MERCHANDISE!!

... andwhyisn'tmyheadershowing ;____; *needs to fix that*

xiahbebeh — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 06:37:15 GMT

{DEAR LJ}

&&;; { Going to CUBA! :DD ~ }

I'm going away to CUBA! I actually knew we were going away to Cuba since like... 3 months ago but I never really updated back then cause I got lazy but now I realize I should update a lot more. xD; Anyways, so I'll be gone from Thursday August 16th to Thursday August 23rd

Alrighty, so basically I'll be gone to Cuba! It's supposed to be a sorta sweet 16th birthday gift to me. It's not really because technically it's shared with 4 other people. These four other people would be..

August 16th - Anthony's Birthday (1st Cousin)
August 17th - Xi-xi's Birthday (Moi ;D)
August 18th - Silvy's Birthday (Mother)
August 19th - Sabena's Birthday (Sister)
August 20th - Angela's Birthday (Family-Friend)

So as you can see xD it's not just for me, it's for all these people in my family. The whole lot of us are going to a resort, which I like since then we can hang out and stuff. It's much more exciting and comforting when there's more people because it just seems that much more enjoyable.

Plus, more people to make sure I don't spontaneously get cramps or something and then drown.. >___> *can't swim*

*Ahem* Anyways, moving on. It seems so weird that I'm 16 already. It seems so fast but at the same time so slow. Although when I think about how I only have 2 more years in high school to goof off then I'm thinking time is going fast, but the fact I'm not even finished high school and I'm not in college/university makes me think the years are rather slow. Either I'm in a rush to grow up or I really don't want to grow up. I think I'm sorta on the bench on that one. xD

So! Who wants to know about my swimsuit adventures! You do! GREAT :D ~ *shot*

Basically on Monday me and my friend Riku went out shopping for a bathing suit for myself. We went over to STC first because my mother gave me extra money to get her a powder because she was too lazy to go herself. La la la, we went there and bought it and then we shopped around and I got a cute hoodie and this ripped long sleeve shirt. The funniest thing is that there both guy clothes. LOL! :D The girl clothes are getting the same and all those puffy pregnant like shirts piss me off. D:

After that we were *planning* to bus to this other mall not too far from there, Fairview Mall. Unfortunately it started raining and then we were like "omg wtf DD:" so then Riku called her grandfather and then he picked us up and dropped us at the next mall. The point of going there really was just because Riku wanted to get her second cartilage piercing. We both have one. I'm shaping my ear to look like Jaejoong's. I really like ear piercings. I'm getting my 3rd lobe piercing, another cartilage piercing, and one in the tragus piercing. That's basically that flab part. Everyone asks me if it hurt when they put the gun there since your cartilage is tissue and a bone. When I told them I it done with the needle, not the gun, they get all squirmish with me. xDDD. The first time Riku was going to get her ear pierced, they asked for her ID and she couldn't get it done cause she didn't have it on her. The funny part is that I went before to the same place and got it done and they never asked about my age. Riku is older than me. Her birthday is on January 5th. Mine's not till AUGUST.

She says I just naturally look more mature. Iunno, I act like a kid though.
~~I did have a 22-year old guy hit on me cause he thought I was 18 though. o_O;; I think I look too old.~~

ANYWAYS~ We went to Bikini Village and I said I didn't want a one-piece because they're rather uncomfortable. I didn't want a bikini either cause I'm self-concious and thought people say I have the body to wear it, I don't want to XP; So! We got one in the middle! It's a top that cuts off right above your belly button and then there's the panty part. My twinneh Kacey told me it was called a tankini. I learned a new word. 8DDD I had no idea they were called that.

Today.. I did some major packing because my mom said I had to do my hair and face tomorrow so I wouldn't have time to pack. I was planning on procrastinating too. DD: Well I guess it's better getting it done now then later. Riku dropped off the DBSK Planner so I can spam whatever goes down there.

My mother is so lawl. 8D; Since the legal age there is 16, she wants to take me clubbing. I'm really seriously against drinking and smoking, so I don't want to get caught up in anything. Especially if I go alone with Angela and her sister Sharlene. I already know they club and they drink a lot and their only 18. Well.. I guess I shouldn't say *only* but you know. >_>; I can have fun and party without the booze and smoking, kthx.

So.. our time to get on the plane is 12:30PM on Thursday. It'll take 4 hours if all goes well so we'll be there at the resort by 5PM I guess. I wonder how hot it is there. If I'm burning in Canada, the supposedly "cold" country, then I'm sorta nervous how it's going to be over there. >___>; *dies*

In the words of Riku; Sunblock is your best friend! 8DDD

I bet I'll just be.. wading in the pool n00bishly so I don't drown or anything. >_>; LOLZ~
~~srsly, drowning when you turn 16 away in another country in a RESORT.. is a very.. sad way to die. <_<;~~

Anyways! Just in case I don't post after this due to the busy-ness I'll be in tomorrow, I wish everyone a good week while I'm gone! ♥♥♥

~ xi-xi ♥
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xiahbebeh — Tue, 14 Aug 2007 05:08:05 GMT

{DEAR LJ}

&&;; { Stolen from oldwillow_brook 8D ♥ }

What TVXQ Member Will Choose YOU?
Name
Age
Birthday
Random Mood
TVXQ Member	Yoochun
Where you met	A fanmeeting
How he felt	Lucky
When's the wedding?	Friday

I can type in this little box ROFL 8DDD ♥ I'm in ur ljz, readin' ur shit ~ ;D shot

Yoochun! ~ I get the dorky, fun-loving, sensitive, crybaby! 8DDD ♥
Aww, I wish this was true. If only I could go to a fanmeeting and meet him and magically make him fall in love with me =/ </3 This are the sad hopes of a diluted fangirl I suppose. .. Is diluted the right word? More like hectic & crazy. xD;

Makes me hate those korean fans for getting to get a "date" with DBSK with that stupid iple promotion. DDD:

P.S: Isn't it supposed to be Which TVXQ Member Will Choose YOU? not What TVXQ Member Will Choose You?
That's been bugging me for a bit now xDD;;

xiahbebeh — Mon, 13 Aug 2007 06:55:09 GMT

{DEAR LJ}

&&;; { OMFG!!!! DDD: }

I JUST SPENT AN HOUR...

UPLOADING A NEW MOODTHEME...

MY FINGERS FXCKIN' HURT!!!

OMFG DDDD: !!! *DIES UNDER A LEAF*

Kay, that is all. C: ♥

xiahbebeh — Sun, 12 Aug 2007 17:07:38 GMT

{DEAR LJ}

&&;; { Confessions }

Taken from 0taeyang0
I tag everyone who wants to take it :]

Mark Your Confessions

[] I Talk A LOT when I get really nervous.

[] I am really ticklish.

[x] I'm afraid of the dark.

[x] I can't sleep in a room if the door is open

[] I can't sleep in a room if the door is closed

[x] I believe in true love.

[] I've ran away from home

[] I listen to political music

[] I collect comic books

[x] I shut others out when I'm sad.

[] I've stayed out all night.

[] I open up to others easily.

[] I am keeping a secret from the world.

[x] I watch the news

[x] I love Disney movies.

[x] I am a sucker for green eyes.

[] I am a sucker for brown eyes.

[x] I am a sucker for blue eyes

[] I dont kill bugs

[] I have "x"s in my screen name.

[x] I've slipped and fell in public.

[x] I've slipped out a "lol" in a real conversation

[] I love Spam

[] I bake well.

[x] I have worn pajamas to class.

[] I want a better job

[x] Talked on a phone for 6+ hours.

[] I love Dr. Phil.

[] I like multiple people

[] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.

[x] I am self-conscious.

[x] I love to laugh.

[x] I have tried alcohol.

[] I drink alcohol on a regular basis.

[] I have tried a cigarette.

[] I have smoked a pack in one day.

[] I loved Lord of the Flies.

[x] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.

[] I can't swallow pills.

[x] I have a lot of scars.

[x] I like chocolate.

[] I bite my nails.

[x] I am not comfortable with being me.

[] I play computer games when I'm bored.

[x] Gotten lost in the city.

[x] Thought of suicide before.

[] Seen a shooting star.

[] Gone out in public in my pajamas

[x] Hugged a stranger.

[x] Been in a fist fight.

[] Laughed and had some type of beverage come out of my nose

[x] Pushed all the buttons on an elevator.

[] Made out in an elevator.

[x] Kicked a guy where it hurts on purpose

[] Been skydiving.

[] Been bungee jumping.

[] Gotten stitches.

[] Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour

[x] Bitten someone

[x] Been to Niagara Falls.

[x] Gotten the chicken pox.

[] Crashed into a car

[] Been to Germany.

[x] Ridden in a taxi.

[x] Shoplifted.

[] Been fired.

[x] Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.

[] Stole something from your job.

[] Gone on a blind date.

[] Had a crush on a teacher/coach.

[] Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.

[] Slept with a co-worker, and/or employee.

[] Been married

[] Gotten divorced

[x] Saw someone/something dying.

[] Have a list of people you want to kill.

[x] Ridden in a car over 400 miles in one day

[] Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

[] Thrown up in a bar.

[x] Eaten sushi.

[x] Cried in public.

[] Walked purposely into traffic with your eyes closed.

[x] Liked someone even though you knew you shouldn't have.

[] Thought of someone a lot lately.

[] Hate the world.

xiahbebeh — Sun, 12 Aug 2007 05:31:34 GMT

{DEAR LJ}

&&;; { Pondering Annoyance }

Okay, so I've noticed I haven't updated a lot of shit lately xD Which I don't know if people are really going to care or bother reading now at this point but meh, you know I update more what's on my mind and see if anything relates at all. XD Right now I need to blow off some steam, so join me won't you? 8D

I'm not one to be bothered by small things most of the time. What you do is your business and I'll mention my opinion once and that will be it for me. What I don't preferably like is when you're sucked into a place where everyone knows everyone but you and you feel like you're not even there for conversation matters. I mean, what's the point of being somewhere when you'll get ignored. It makes no sense right? Instead you could be doing something much more constructive and especially more beneficial for yourself. Sometimes some people like to brag and show off their friends to you, like it's really supposed to matter what you think. Although usually I can smile and just rub this off, it's gotten really recent where it seems that people are rubbing their accomplishments in my face like I'm supposed to praise them on my hands and knees when I barely know them. I also hate people who think that their opinion is right, hands down and no arguments. If I say... oh I don't know that I don't think JaeHo is the only couple in the world and that people take it way too seriously along with YooSu. We all know DBSK aren't really gay and I won't believe that they are unless they actually say it. Of course I don't have a problem with gays or lesbians I mean c'mon, I roleplay it and I think it's hot, why would it bother me? xD I also have IRL lesbian and gay friends. It doesn't bother me at all. What does bother me is people shooting dart at me the second they see that I actually like other pairings like HoSu, JaeMin, YooMin, MinSu, etc etc. It's like it's not allowed in their world or something? Seriously, what the hell is your problem?

Also, for all you roleplayers out there that have actually been or are in an LJ community RP, then I'm sure you'll have one of these people in your trolly. I'm not really sure if it angers you or if you're one of these people yourself, it annoys me and it's getting off my chest. Now.

Roleplays in community are supposed to be experimental. The muses (characters you RP) are supposed to be going over through different people and IMing them to chat and make small talk. The other muse will then respond with actual feelings and act like their actually that person and will act with sensible, realistic feelings. I am so sick of people thinking that just because they like/favour a pairing they can make cahoots with the muns before hand to get together. It's usually always the same pairings too, JaeHo, KangTeuk, YooSu, etc etc. I have no problem with the pairing but when you just magically start dating after a day, what the hell does that say? That means all the other muses that might have actually had a crush on that muse didn't even have a fighting chance to begin with just because you wanted to have it fixed for an OTP. I'm going to put this in very large font now.

OTP =/= TRUE FEELINGS

I want you all to read that carefully, study it, memorize it, and understand it. This has been going on for too long and it's the main reason I just write solo fanfictions or do one-on-one RPs. I love community RPs, I really do, but this is the one thing I can't seem to stand. =/ I hope no one thinks I'm crazy or something.

-Phew- Now that that is off my chest.. I think I'm going to go see what my sister is doing. :] ♥ you all!

~ xi xi ♥</div></div>

xiahbebeh — Sun, 05 Aug 2007 23:02:05 GMT

{FANFICTION}

&&;; { Just Because }

Featuring: DBSK/BoA
Title: Just Because
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Seduction
Pairing: BoChun
Summary: Yoochun begins to have a rough imagination while watching some television
Author's Note: Because I'm not just a shounen-ai writer. I love ChunxBoa :3 ♥

---

“Go go go—Ahhhh!! YES!!” There was a squealing noise coming to the right of me from the soft white leather couch and I began to think why I was sitting here watching this television program with my hyperactive companion that seemed to get so into the game you’d think his life would depend on it if they didn’t wind. Of course, I couldn’t blame him of course; Junsu loved sports ever since he was small. He had once told me that if he hadn’t gotten into singing, he would probably strive towards being a soccer player. It was at that point I was wondering if be it so that he never did get chosen for Dong Bang Shin Ki, if we would know him as a soccer star one day.

You never know.

Taking a brief sigh I stretched my hand out to grab the water bottle that was infront of me and ont the table. It was a fairly hot day and I was thinking of soon leaving the meshy white shirt to no shirt at all. Was global warming impacting us or was it just him not being used to the heat yet. Blowing a frustrated breath I decided not to worry about picturing a gigantic tsunami hovering over South Korea in an attempt to swallow us whole to a watery grave.

I shuddered a bit. I, Yoochun Park, a grown man.. couldn’t swim.

Turning my attention back towards the lit up LCD Sony 19 inch screen, I placed the water bottle cooly over my bright pink lips, suckling on the creases of the plastic in fair interest of the boy beside me who had just taken the liberty of doing a small victory jump while the speakers were declaring the end of the game and to the next program. He was celebrating as if he had just found the cure for cancer. Chuckling softly I padded the sofa a bit and had a slightly playful gaze in my eyes. “Sit down Su or else you’re going to wake up all of Korea” At that point I could see him hesitantly stopping and smiling nervously like he always would, having the habit of licking his bottom lip whenever he was accumulating and forming words or phrases in his head.

“I won’t hyung” he said simply and sat down, slapping his hands onto his creamy exposed legs thanks to the soccer shorts he was wearing. Of course a red official korean shorts for watching the korean finals of soccer. I rolled my eyes slightly at his obsession before hearing a familiar tune ring through my ears.. coming from the TV screen.

Neo Reul Ahl Ke Doin Hu Mae IL Ki Dah Rin phone call
Nae Gah Neu Kkin Dae Ro Neo Reul Gah Ji Go Ship Eo
With me..

Snapping my head to look I could see the body on the screen move like the dance lords themselves were inheriting her body. Brown hazel hair swung around the back of her hair neatly, careful not to get in the face of beauty itself. Hips shaking as her solo came up and her background dancers mimicked something close to what she was doing.

But nothing could compare to it.

I could feel my jaw slipping off from the closure of my lips, the rim of the bottle slowly dropping from my mouth as I watched her hips shake so face that my eyes couldn’t follow. The way she flexed those arms of hers, the way her body flowed oh so perfectly with the music. Cheeks lined with sweat. The clothes on her body fitting perfectly onto her skin like it were made for her and only her.

Which it probably was. He couldn’t think of another soul that would look as good in those clothes as she did.

The lights glistened and I could see her body flame with power. I felt a tight knot in my stomach when I caught sight of the shining belly ring that was studded into her notch flat stomach. Her eyes glared at the screen with such power, such force.

Like she was calling to me and only me…

Slacking my body I could almost see her come to life and into the living room. A satisfied look on her face as she spun around to dance for me, the heavy blasting of the music pumping all around the now empty and dark framed house.

It’s just you and me..

I could picture her coming over to me, leaning over in a teasing manner to blow a heated breath over my already stimulated body. Her curves would brush over my knees wantingly, but in such an independent manner.

I knew she didn’t need a man. She was a strong girl. That’s what I love about her the most. The willingness to stand on her own two feet, and keep going no matter what.

Oh how my friend had grown into such a woman.

I shuddered as my imagination flared up and I could feel my blood boiling in heat. That is.. until the music had cut off and finished. Slowly, almost as if waking up from a long sleep, my eyes were focused and my vision, with much regret to myself, showed me that a fantasy will always stay a fantasy.

My eyes showed my my reality.

Blinking once, twice, three times I turned my head slowly to look at Junsu, who was giving me an odd expression as if I had went into a 3 minute coma. When he raised a brow at me, as if silently questioning me what was with my silence while he was probably calling my name all the while, I took a moment to let a pause roll in and roll out as fast as a tumbleweed.

“Now I understand why girls love it when we dance so much” I said this in a wise voice, nodding my head as if I had successfully figured out the long time solution to an obvious math problem.

Junsu obviously hadn’t caught on and a cute puzzling expression lit up all around his features as he turned his whole small body to look at me with interest. “And why is that?” he asked, probably wondering this himself.

My finger pointed to the television screen and my head looked at him with a blank but enticing expression, as if I had seen the hottest thing in the world.

Oh wait..

With dumbfounded voice that really hadn’t meant to come out, I now said my logic behind my theory.

“Because that.. was hot..”

I heard Junsu let out a hearty laugh and bend over to clasp my shoulder as he did and come back, standing up and shaking his head while brushing himself off. “You’re funny hyung” he said in his casual voice, one that reminded me of sort of tone he’d give me when I asked him if he were the one feeling my ass.

My cheeks puffed out and my fingered stay hovered pointing at the screen as a certain korean boy went off into the kitchen where he was out of my reach.

Physically anyways.

“Just because you like boys doesn’t mean that I have to!” I said loudly.

I was pleased when I heard a dolphin squeak and a hard thudding of what I’m sure was a Kim Junsu hitting the floor in the remark. It wasn’t like I was oblivious to the hickeys he had gotten from the eldest of the group. Infact, I was pretty sure everyone knew about it. Well.. everyone except for maybe Yunho.

I eased back and relaxed myself on the couch, smiling to myself and staring at the TV that now showed a picture of the new single “Winter Love” from the girl herself. Why did I go into such a phase? Why did I get all jittery when I saw her dance? Why did my heart speed up when I saw her smile at me, look at me, speak to me, wink at me.

A smiled to myself and shut my eyes, tilting my hair back as I felt my soft black hair help to cushion the thoughts merging in my head into one single answer.

Just because.. I love Kwon Boa.

---</div>
R&R Pwease :3 ♥

xiahbebeh — Sun, 05 Aug 2007 22:36:56 GMT

{FANFICTION}

&&;; { Sugary Kisses }

Featuring: DBSK
Title: Sugary Kisses
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: JaeMin
Summary: Just a small one-shot on the thoughts when you turn 20 (19 technically)
Author's Note: I wrote this a really long time ago, but I was supposed to do a continuation which I... never got around to. If anyone knows me, then they know how damn lazy I am. xD;; -swtswt- I haven't even updated in forever. Forgive me. xD; Anyways! Please enjoy this story. :3 ♥

---

It was Changmin’s 20th birthday. Today was the day that he had finally hit the second digits. When he arose that day, he didn’t feel very much changed. More or less he felt a string of overwhelming emotions and thoughts slam into him at once. It wasn’t that he regretted not doing anything in his university years, but it was more the fact that the friends he did have before in his school weren’t as connected to him as he’d like them to be. How he missed them so much. He remembered times where he would lay up awake in the room, just thinking and wishing that they would come surprise him. Even if it was just a stop in... a phone call, a letter, an e-mail. Anything to show that they hadn’t forgotten.

What was the use? The back of his head, his reliable side which always knew the truth. He was famous now. He had tried out for the group Dong Bang Shin Ki. There was no more time… for friends. No more time for the movies, no more time for goofing off. No more being a kid.

Changmin stumbled his way to the washroom, not half asleep, but liked to pretend he was. His cute innocence radiated from his body. The tanned skin that clashed with his silk white boxers he wore. His chest was exposed. Certainly this was the day a boy grew into a male. Though it hadn’t been as noticeable before, Changmin’s workout habits had become more constant. More and more he would visit the gym in the small house they had and train as long as he could or until he wore himself out. It had paid off grandly. The lisping muscles that firmed oh so slightly. Any fangirl of DBSK would die to see this scene. How his brown locks was pressed onto his face like a character from a show. Death Note to be precise. A character named Raito. Changmin was into anime and he certainly had heard of Death Note. When Yunho had tackled him like an older brother would and messed up his hair purposely to show the comic to him, pointing the similar hair that he had with the man. When Changmin discovered later on the series what Raito had done, he was almost ashamed of having the hair. Still, it wasn’t long enough for the hairstyle that the SM Entertainment people wanted, so for now, he was stuck with this hair. Though apparently he had received many compliments about he adorable he was. He couldn’t help but smile.

After a quick steamy shower and the brushing of his teeth, Changmin came out to slip on his clothes. He wasn’t picky about today but he was surprised that everyone had left the room. Usually he was the one to wake up late and everyone would pull a prank on him because he was the youngest. Sometimes the members could be so cruel to him. He had gotten so mad once he just wanted to blow them off and leave, but he knew that it would end up bad if he just got as mad as they did. Usually he would stay quiet and mope around. Sooner or later someone realized that he was sad and apologized. Yunho was usually the one to pick on him but Xiah was always the one to yell at Yunho for it. He was happy he had Xiah, someone that he could relate to. Atleast friend-wise, he was the closest.

But then… there was.

“Changmin!”

Changmin’s head turned slightly at the call to his voice. As if the angel had struck the chimes, there stood the eldest of the group. Jaejoong.

Jaejoong stood there with a peaceful expression on his face, showing an innocent bliss that Changmin found mesmerizing. For the reasons he didn’t know why. Something about him, made him at peace. Of course, he really didn’t think much of it, or at least… he tried not to have too much thought into it. JJ was wearing a sleek black tank top that fit him so well. It made his skin vibrate against Changmin’s eyes. His black hair crowded together, flipping with desire in every strand. The jeans clutched his thighs so tightly; that you’d think the skin was actually suffocating. Of course JJ had also thrown in some belts and chains that hung noticeably at the side. As much as Changmin didn’t like to rank the bodies of the group, he would assume that JJ was the total and complete eye-candy of Korea.

Jaejoong stood with his oblivious face looking at Changmin. He could see Changmin’s eyes analyzing him and he couldn’t help but catch his eyes for a moment. When this happened, Changmin immediately drew his gaze down before he looked at what he was doing. In his hands were the black jeans that read “Rockawear” down the sides of it with large pockets. He was only halfway into pulling them up.

Changmin still hadn’t gotten dressed.

Changmin’s face flared and he held up his hands in embarrassment. “H-hyung! I’m not done changing!” Shouting loudly he felt an impulse to try and cover himself. Of course, this caused his pants to drop and now they were around his ankles, exposing his legs.

Beady eyes were looking at his legs interested in them. How they looked so soft and supple, as if he was as fragile as a china doll. Jaejoong’s full lips dried at the image that casted into the forbidden fruits of his mind, tempted to stick his tongue and stroke the bottom of his lip with it. Slowly across the luscious pink to make a final sigh noise before smacking the two together. He refrained… of course. Being the eldest… he had to set some example. Jaejoong chuckled inwardly and waved a hand. “Fine… fine. I’ll turn around. Is that alright? Changmin?”

Bending down to immediately pull the pants up and fumble around with the zipper he nodded his head. Changmin’s senses still hadn’t fully awoken yet, and what a thing to happen to wake him up. Finally he had successfully driven his pants to hang on his waist loosely, adding a belt to keep it in that space before grabbing a white t-shirt that cut just by his midriff, showing the smooth skin that was there. Finally adding a black vest he ruffled his chestnut hair and smoothed it back down, before sighing and pouting a bit at Jaejoong from across the room, his face only resembling the cutest cartoon animation. “Hyung shouldn’t walk in on me like that. Couldn’t you have knocked first?” Jaejoong turned his head finally and his eyes blinked before he put out his hands. “But you’re a guy it shouldn’t bother you if I see. We’re all men here as of today, right Changmin?” He asked him before Changmin sighed lightly and crossed his arms a bit, walking over to him. Changmin was around Jaejoong’s height, but he was slowly getting to be taller. It felt weird to him being the youngest and yet the tallest. Sometimes it would make the outfits he wears and some dance moves of his look very odd. It wasn’t until he watched back most of the performances that he realized that some adjustments had to be made. He was planning to talk about the choreographer and the designer later on in the week before the tour they had to do in Japan. He had a lot on his plate this week; he’d have to review his Japanese. His face faded from his pout look to be replaced with one of much more worry. Hands laced, gripping his pants to clench and unclench them a bit.

Jaejoong could see his vibrancy fade without even looking at his face. Changmin had always been the innocence of the group, but now that he was maturing, his seriousness towards things was also growing. Although he was older, he was always the one to act around with the rest of the group. Today was his birthday. How the years pass-by. He remembered a time where Changmin was quiet and so collective. Never feeling comfortable with anyone but Xiah. At least… that’s what Jaejoong had heard him say at an interview they had all attended, asking the beginnings of Dong Bang Shin Ki.

The eldest member of the group felt a guilt plaguing the back of his head. Here was the youngest boy in DBSK and he was probably worrying about things to come in the future. It was his birthday. He shouldn’t be trying to take on things all the time.

Swiftly, Jaejoong placed a hand by his shoulder and tilted the chin of Changmin to face him. “Changmin, I don’t like that serious on you. Relax…” Jaejoong’s breath puffed lightly on the lips of Changmin.

“Maybe we should celebrate my birthday later. There’s still so much to do before the tour. Try on outfits, practice the dancing, our vocal practice, oh and the new single to be released within a month needs to be worked on. What about the Japanese lessons? We still need to take them and—” The world froze. Gentle fingers brushed his chin and it made his eyes grow a bit in size. A look of pure bliss is what Jaejoong had seen in his eyes and Changmin could feel his heartbeat in his head.

So close…
To me…
Come closer…

Lips quivered a bit as the warm air contacted them, making him weak in the knees. His emotions that were locked in a treasure chest in his heart had been busted open by just the smallest of movements. He would never admit it; he wasn’t allowed to admit it.

Jae… joong…

“Today’s your birthday… take a break… will yah?” Jaejoong smiled at him and patted him solidly on the back and went towards the door. When Changmin made no movement to follow, Jaejoong looked back at him and frowned. “Changmin?”

The poor boy was frozen in spot, resisting the urge to bring his fingers to his lips. His face definitely looked a bit more peaceful and calm then from before, but at the same time, slightly shaken. A large lump was swallowed quietly before his head turned to look pleadingly at Jaejoong, as if asking for something. After a moment of dead air silence, he figured that nothing was going to happen. Limping out of his stoned position, his arms went forward with his legs and he was behind the black-haired beauty.

“Yes Hyung~”

---</div></div>
R&R Pwease :3 ♥

xiahbebeh — Tue, 17 Apr 2007 06:03:15 GMT

{DEAR LJ}

&&;; { I have gone on a complete BIG BANG spree 8D }

Okay, so I've gone on a completely and utter Big Bang spree and I just need to share my love for them now or else I will go insane. Yes I do realize it's like 1:30AM in the morning and I should be sleeping considering I have a doctor's appointment and what not but I can't sleep and therefore I have to be let off because of that! >_>;; -sweatdrop-

The whole obsession started when I heard that SE7EN had done that collaboration before with G-Dragon. At first I didn't pay much mind to who he was until I heard their song "Dirty Cash" since I decided that I wanted to get into it. I saw it and I adored it! Then I saw their song "La-La-La" and realized that was the song everyone was squeeing over since they all raised up their tops and showed their stomachs in the MV. So I was like ".... 8D tee hee"

Now I'm not exactly a hardcore fan *yet*, but I think I'm getting there since I really want to get their "The Real" Concert package. The one that comes with 6 posters and a photobook. It's $50 and that's a pretty good price. I have I think $40 on me from before and I need around $10 more since it says the shipping is free so it should be cheaper. >___>;; I need to contact my buddy who does the paypal transactions for me and get her the money ASAP before it sells out again. Because if it does I will be so mad. O'___'o. The DBSK "O" Documentary Limited Edition was re-stocked 2 days AFTER I had ordered the regular edition and I couldn't call back my order since it had shipped already. (Although the Documentary should be coming sometime tomorrow.. I think. I hope so. 'Cause then the CD I ordered for my friend's belated birfday should be coming and that means I can surprise her like woah 8D. I think I mentioned her in my LJ already. Charnelle. :3)

This is the song I have been obsesed with for the past 24 hours. I simply LOVE this song. If it were materialistic, I would marry it. XD It's called "Shake It" The MV isn't really an MV, it's more like what Namie Amuro did for her "Violet Sauce" MV. It's to promote their Concert on DVD so that more people would buy it. I am definitely buying it since not only did it get excellent reviews, but there are actually english subtitles. I am SO thankful for that~ ♥

Even though I'm just starting to really get into them, I know that they'll be someone I will cling to. The problem is the disk space on my computer is running slim and I know that it won't be free anytime soon. @__@ it's really fusturating. I hope that I can get that flashdrive thing to expand my eternal harddrive or something like that. My friend knows about it.. I.. just don't. Lawl. ._.;;

Anyways! Everyone hope that I get enough money and the transaction goes in fast enough so I can get it. I really want to get it if anything right now. Then I need to save up for the next thing.. which I hope will be something within the $20 range before I break my back over chores to get money once more. XD; G'nite everyone!

~ xi xi ♥

xiahbebeh — Mon, 16 Apr 2007 18:47:21 GMT

{FANFICTION}

&&;; { Sinful Summer Sweets }

Featuring: DBSK
Title: Sinful Summer Sweets
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Fluff
Pairing: JaeMin
Summary: How do you beat the heat?
Author's Note: Tee hee 8D This is a very suggestive fanfiction. That's all I'm sayin' XD ♥

---

“Too hot, can’t bare it”

Sitting with his traditional fan to the side was a male stripped to the bare necessities, or at least what he thought was a necessity for the home stay of the apartment.

A translucent white vest and baggy blue jeans.

Blonde hair would usually be bright and reflecting even the suns gaze right back at it with the flare of a God, but however on this day the strands on his head seemed to moan in discomfort. The dull golden strands sticking uncomfortably onto the singers scalp and skin. Hawk eyes were in a state of temporary vacation. Half lidded and lazily looking at the empty house. Everyone got to be out on errands. Yunho was at a press-conference, Junsu had to go rehearse for another Timeless performance and Yoochun had decided to go work on a new composing song, so he was out in the professional studio discussing things with the lyric writer.

Brows furrowed and the man could feel the sweat ball up in between before sliding down his nose. His nose furrowed almost immediately before he brought a hand up to wash over his face, wiping whatever perspiration was evoking onto his creamy skin.

Now, who did this leave alone in the apartment for the 98°F day?

Kim Jaejoong and..

“Hyung! Did you finish all the ice-cream again?!”

Shim Changmin.

Letting a small, almost irritated groan leave his lips he felt a bit bad for pigging out on the ice-cream before anyone humanly possible had a chance to finish it. It was just so hot and it was Changmin’s fault for sleeping in. Jaejoong was a hungry man. He needed his food and sugary sweetness. Where else was he going to get it? Sighing inaudibly he eyed the table across from him and stretched his long fingers in order to reach for the fan that was on the table, snatching that as well before the younger one got it, splitting the fan open and starting to fan himself.

Oh how evil he was when he was desperate.

“Yeah I did” He shouted back loudly when he heard Changmin shuffling again and repeat the same question. Feeling the breeze against his face made his mood simmer down a bit, a light smile curling on his lips from the comfort he was now experiencing.

He had to remind himself to ask the rest of the members exactly why they didn’t have an electric fan in this whole damn apartment. You’d think that they’d have one. Just one.

Especially in the end of July.

A slight dirty scowl was heard from the kitchen as Changmin was idly skimming through the fridge, standing there to feel the coolness on his body. Changmin was sporting a loose sports jersey and matching short pants. They were Jordans, a popular brand name that was spawning in Korea from North America. Changmin was quite fond of this clothing. Even though they were indoors, they weren’t really going outside much with any labeled clothing, so indoors was really the only time he could wear the favourable brand clothing that he liked.

Out of all days however, why would Jaejoong hyung plan to eat all of the ice-cream? He had no idea. Whatever reason, it was quite annoying. Changmin stamped his foot lightly on the floor as he grumbled and popped his head inside of the fridge. “How did you manage to eat out the whole tub?” Changmin questioned at his hyung, seriously bewildered by this. Changmin himself was usually considered the monster eater, even though many thought it was Jaejoong.

Jaejoong stared out at the window a bit, swearing that he saw heat waves radiating around the buildings outside. His mouth opening to reply as he brought up a hand to scratch one of his birthmarks on his face. “Have you walked outside yet? It’s your fault for sleeping in Changmin” There was a hint of teasing in his voice which made Changmin in the kitchen, pout. “That’s inhuman hyung” Changmin countered, not wanting to get the lower portion of this taunting argument. “You know that all that sugary in your body is unhealthy if you eat it all at once.” There was a noise of the youngest band member opening the freezer to see if he could dig up something else. Changmin was always known for his healthy eating so it didn’t surprise Jaejoong that he would start lecturing him on the safety of his monstrous feeding of the creamy flavoured sugar. “I know I know” Jaejoong retorted in a slightly more irritated manner. Out of all times, why is he questioning his eating habits now? Why during Korea’s most mind-blowing heat wave of the year?

Oh yeah, because he just so happened to have eaten a whole bucket of ice-cream from the time he woke up to the time Changmin woke up. Jaejoong’s eyes turned into slits as his un-amused face reacted very little at his own dawning realization.

Suddenly, there was a loud squeaking from the kitchen along with the slamming of a door and the odd familiar sound of plastic struggling on fingertips. “Har har... look what I found hyung!” A cute voice chuckled from the paradise of food to the doomed heated room where Jaejoong was beginning to wonder if this was karma for anything he had done in the past. “What..” the eldest voice seem the least enthusiastic to see what he had found in the barrage of the fridge. He was guessing it wasn’t anything big, probably some natural fruit or something. When his head turned to look at exactly what the smaller boy had decided to show, his eyes nearly popped out of his sockets, his mouth hung open in confusion.

There stood Changmin with a single popsicle stick. Upon that popsicle stick was a mountain of luscious orange frozen goodness that was glistening in the sunlight that was piercing through the filtered curtains. Changmin smiled triumphantly and brought his small pink tongue towards the cold treat and timidly licked the tip of it, squatting down in front of his hyung to tease him with the new cool treat. “You can have all the ice-cream...” Changmin whispered, hopping close to him before wrapping the fullness of his lips over the top of the orange flavoured popsicle. “But I get to have all the popsicles.”

Jaejoong could merely stare with his large onyx pupils as he could see that another getaway from the heat was being devoured by the little one in front of him, showing no mercy apparently on his heated body. “… Fine” Jaejoong finally concluded, looking the other way, continuing to fan himself as he did not let his pride drop. “You can have it, I don’t need it.” He declared in a “matter of fact” voice. This made Changmin raise a brow slightly as he waddled on his knees to look once again capture Jaejoong’s vision.

With the slowest of precision, Changmin ran his tongue over the whole dripping popsicle, stopping at the top to make a pit-stop to make agonizing slurping noises, sucking in all the cold juice into the caverns of his warm moist mouth. “.. Are you sure you don’t need it, hyung?” He asked with a low, soft voice. This made Jaejoong freeze slightly, already captured by the ministrations he was showing to the popsicle, slightly jealous of it. “… I don’t need it” He repeated again, clearing his throat a bit, looking the other way. Jaejoong’s mind was flooded with not just wanting of the popsicle stick, but wanting Changmin on his own popsicle stick.

I don’t need it… I don’t need it… damn it Changmin! Why the hell... do you have to be… so damn…

Once more, Changmin went towards him and kept going with his tease. Jaejoong’s jaw dropped slightly, not being able to do anything but watch the devil himself tease him in more than one way. Biting his lip slightly, Jaejoong clenched his fist and glared at the little bugger. Shit… I can’t... Min I need… Impure thoughts circulated through Jaejoong’s mind. The thought of him on top of the little boy, looking at him with those big eyes of his, his mouth in a perfect formation of an “O” as he said hyung for a different reason. Jaejoong scoffed slightly, his mind building up slightly.

“.. Min...” He warned and Changmin’s suckling ceased slightly, but not completely. He looked up with huge innocent eyes and cocked his head to the side in question. “Hmm?” He hummed out through his throat, wondering what his hyung could want.

Without warning, Jaejoong’s lips went forward and he caught the popsicle in his mouth, right under Changmin’s so he could feel the cold surface upon his lips. Changmin squeaked in surprise and without realizing he bit down on the popsicle, taking in the frozen treat inside his mouth. Jaejoong leaned forward, letting the long forgotten half popsicle drop to the floor as his lips clamped over Changmin’s mouth, not wasting anytime from delving his tongue inside to grab the little sucker of a treat from his mouth and to his own. When Jaejoong released Changmin from his capture, he could see that his eyes were clothes and his lips were parted slightly. His chest was heaving and he looked as if he were to fall to the floor. Jaejoong smirked with much satisfaction, rolling the orange frozen juice in his mouth. Some of it was trickling down the side of his lip and he too his thumb to rub it off his own mouth before leaning in towards Changmin and grinning devilishly.

“Hey… Min… I know where there’s some more popsicles, a new kind. Do you want to try it?” He asked, wondering if Changmin had got what he was implying. Changmin’s mind was in a daze and all he could do was look at his centering hyung and nod his head. Changmin’s hair was mused, and his body looked simply delicious in the opposer’s eyes. Jaejoong let out a small growl of happiness before tackling Changmin to the floor. They had a couple of hours. If you can’t beat the heat, make fire of yourself.

All the while the forgotten half of a popsicle laid on the floor to melt. Of course, no one knows if it melted from the heat of the sun, or the heat of the two beside it.

---</div></div>
R&&R Pwease :'3 ♥

xiahbebeh — Tue, 10 Apr 2007 15:46:35 GMT

{DEAR LJ}

&&;; { Wow I fail at updating }

I totally fail at updating. xD When was my last update for this LJ thing? I swore I said I would have more time to update and yet I'm too lazy to do so. Whoo! FAILURE. 8D -shot- Anyways, I think I actually have time today since I'm home from school (yay? XD) because I'm sick (Boo D:) But either way atleast you get to know what's on my mind at the moment? It'll probably just be random rambles anyways..

Well, it's April 10th and that means that finally the money that my friend Riku put through for her paypal from her bank account is finally getting through today. That's good! Why? Because that means I can finally get my "DBSK - O 2nd Concert Documentary" , "DBSK - Monthly Picture" , and finally that "Big Bang Single" that I was supposed to get my friend Charnelle for her birfday. I was having a hard time deciding what I should get her until I found out she has no asian-related things besides you know those cute 2 piggies. "Monokuro Boo" I got her a keychain of the pig because her actual present was going to be late. I didn't want to show up to her party and be like "Ohhhh yeah, about your present 8DDD;;" -shot- so I decided to get her something in the meantime while the Big Bang Single is delayed. It's times like this I wish I had a credit card. u_u;

Anyways, as of late, I've been listening to Brian Joo's work. For those of you who don't know who he is, he's from "Fly to the Sky" , a duet R&B group. He just recently went solo and I have to say I love his voice a lot. What's convenient is that he was born in America so he speaks fluent english. I think his english is as good as Taebin's. Then again he was born in the states too. I was watching some of the clips that he has on X-man, Love Letter, etc etc and I had to die in laughter. XD There's this one episode of X-man where he has to verse this guy and the guy obviously doesn't know english so this is what happens.

Brian: You have no chance against me dog
Dude: Yeah I know!
Brian: Then why're you trying to fight me for then?
Dude: Yeah sure!
Brian: You have something to take against me?
Dude: Sure
Brian: What?
Dude: ... Sure!

This is when you can tell that your opponent does not speak proper english. xD I love that though. The dude was so funny. His facial expression when he said the second "sure" made me crack up. Then he goes on to say "You no 'Fly to the Sky'! You dance to the sky!" or something like that. I couldn't hear it properly. Still pretty funny. It sure made my day. XD

There's this forum "Fly Sky" or something that I'm not going on for a bit and apparently Brian does post there. There's a video dedication saying for him to get better. I remember vaguely about someone mentioning that he has a vocal disease or something along the lines of that. I really hope that he's alright. @_@ his voice makes me swoon. I like his voice because there are a lot of celebrities of course that have this same sorta ring or tone to their voice, but not Brian's. That goes for DBSK aswell. Their voices are really unique and I like that about them. I hope everyone lives good healthy lives.

Also! This has been bugging me for awhile. D: I was recently going through the "Rising Sun 1st Live Concert DVD" reviews that people had put because I wanted to know if I should buy it or not. Besides not having subtitles (I hate it when that happens. DX) there was something else that upset me. As you know the DBSK members perform solo songs for the audience during the concerts they hold. All of them did one and so did Changmin. Changmin's especially was nice since he was being all pimp with the ladies to a Micheal Jackson song. What I want to know is why did they not include Changmin's solo in the Rising Sun DVD? It's one of those things where you just want to do something abut it because you know it's something biased against him but then you can't because you can't speak the language and you can't exactly get in contact with them even if you wanted to. It's not like the camera broke down for the minute and 10 seconds that Changmin happened to be performing. If they were trying to preserve Changmin's "clean" image it really doesn't make sense since he's matured up a lot and the DVD wasn't even released until after their "O" album which is where they all looked way more mature and definitely not innocent anymore. So really, did they run out of space on the DVD or something? I just really don't understand. D: I wish I knew how the korean music industry worked more so maybe I could atleast get a jist of what goes on. The bad thing about living here in Canada or atleast not being able to understand korean is that you receive a lot of mixed messages and you aren't able to completely understand what exactly goes on around through the service.

I remember my friend told me something that the korean celebrity Rain/Bi had said. He said that in order for korea to expand their music industry, they have to get over being a nationalist country. I completely and totally agree with this and I'm glad that he realizes that and I hope other people realize it too. Since I'm brown and I like korean/japanese music, it's hard for me to say that I'd like to go there since I've heard all this stuff over korea and them being huge nationalist. I know that Japan is a bit more open however to that. I don't get how in Korea though, only certain celebrities can perform on certain stations. I know the Super Junior chinese member "Hangkyung" can't perform on certain station just because he's chinese. When I heard that I was like "... Did someone nail your brain to a pit or something?" Honestly. -3- -rantrantrant-

Okay, now I think I'm going to go watch some TV and rest my aching head which is pounding right now. @__@ Sayoo~

~ xi xi ♥
</div>

xiahbebeh — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 05:24:32 GMT

{FANFICTION}

&&;; { Promise Me }

Featuring: DBSK
Title: Promise Me
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst/Fluff
Pairing: JaeHo
Summary: Someone passes away and has left a hole in one of the members heart. How do you reach for someone so close, and yet so far?
Author's Note: This is another JaeHo. Another angsty one because, well angst usually leads to bonding and bonding to fluff. Work with me here. XP ~ ♥

---

Walking through the trenches of the room, the world seemed a bit darker since yesterday’s funeral. My hands were firmly in the pockets of my jeans, solemnly quiet throughout the household where only one other stayed with me. The rest of the members had quietly left the hotel because of the surprise that they hoped to bring to cheer him up.

I knew that wouldn’t help much though. As much as I persisted to tag along with them, they also insisted I were to be the one to stay back with him. At first I wanted to be the one to get the gift for him. So that his shoulders didn’t hunch anymore, so that the blessing smile and angelic face shone at me once more. After however some consideration, I thought it would be better to stay with him. I wanted to help him as much as I could.

It was eerily quiet and that was something I detested much. I hated solitude, I hated the quiet, but I really didn’t know how to approach him. What to say, what to do. Chewing gently on my lower lip, I raised a hand to smooth out my soft auburn-tinted hair before slipping the said hand back into its formal position inside my jeans pocket.

My shifted eyes now glanced as I was walking unconsciously over the room where he was. My feet immediately stopped in front of the door and my head glanced at the white walls with awe. It had been morning since the members left to bring a surprise. It was nearly 6PM and he hadn’t come out of his room. Not once.

Not even for food.

I decided to check up on him. I couldn’t stand idly by any longer. Junsu had suggested only checking up on him every 2 hours. Changmin told me that I should try to comfort him. Micky, who seemed to feel the blow as if it was one of his own siblings, said that I should just leave him alone and let him collect his thoughts.

Of course, I wasn’t about to let him grieve alone. He was a friend, a best friend.

After loosing his mother... Jaejoong needed all the support and affection he could get.

Hesitantly, I took my hand and placed it on the knob. My skin was heating up and for some reason I felt an unsettling grumble in my stomach. Beyond the wall I could hear only the whirring of a fan. It had all happened so suddenly, right after their 3rd album release. His mother was in perfect condition, but no matter what everyone told her, she would not get glasses. It was times like this that I’m sure the whole family wanted to press her to get glasses.

While she was walking across the streets to go to get some groceries to start dinner to prepare for Thanksgiving weekend, she saw the cross light as a go instead of wait.

Why hadn’t she noticed when no other person was moving? My hand gripped the metal knob a bit too tight, eyes shut in thought. I couldn’t understand how such a sweet person would have been sent to her grave so easily. Why no one went out to stop her. Why? Why was always the question that seemed to pop in my head. She was crushed instantly by a driving blazing red car, not even a stop or view to see if someone was there. She was then knocked down by 3 other cars, only the last car to actually take heed and stop the breaks, wondering what he had just hit.

Too bad it was too late. It was instant and a suffering death for her. The scenes were too bloody to describe. Many people screamed at what was left. Others took pictures to hope to sell off to newspaper companies. There was wreckage.

It was just 4 days ago when we received the news. 3 days for the pictures to come. We saw what was there. Pure disaster. The liquid blood that was splattered all over the pavement. Fingers missing, her smile disjointed, her body twisted, her leg were missing and dashed to the other side of the street. No one should be able to witness such a horrendous sighting.

When I saw Jaejoong’s reaction to the pictures, his eyes were wider then what the surgery had intended them to be. He had almost a broken smile on his elegant pure face, his lips quivering and had a gaze at the pictures that almost said “This is a joke... right? This was the prank you guys played on me… right?” His hands were shaking. I could see the water forming in his eyes. After digesting the news he dropped to his knees in shock. My arm was the first to rest place on his shoulder and he had leaned on my shoulder.. And he cried.

He cried so hard... So much.

Micky started bawling, Changmin and Junsu hovering over Jaejoong to give him support, but it only looked like they were looking at each other for support aswell. My eyes couldn’t look away from the pictures that Jaejoong was now squeezing the ink out of. All that was coming out of his mouth was “Mother. Mother. Mother. No. Mother.” Although I might have been the one that never cries, I oddly felt attached and the desire to cry was bubbling in me. It wasn’t the first time I had seen Jaejoong cry either, but it was the first time I saw so much of his meaningful tears drip down off his face and slide down his neck, soaking my long white tank top I wore.

The funeral went as planned. Everyone mourned the death of an extraordinary woman. Jaejoong was left by her grave, embraced by the many sisters that he missed and that was as devastated as he was, maybe even more. No one was allowed to see the body under the casket. It was closed for obvious reasons. I could overhear one of the sisters demand that she opened it and Jaejoong had gripped her wrist forcefully and looked at her with tearing eyes, shaking his head in a silent motion to signal her to please... Don’t persist it.

He probably didn’t want his sister’s to have the haunting images that he would have forever more now.

My hand was still positioned on the knob. As the leader I had a responsibility to see all the members are fine. No, what am I thinking. Not a leader.

To see the one I care about. The one I love to be sure that they’re okay.

Surprisingly I found the door was unlocked, like he was expecting my arrival. I was nearly shocked at what I saw.

There sat one of the most cracktastical people in the group, and he was sitting hunched over on the edge of his bed, staring at his feet, his hands in his lap. His skin was paler then I could even imagine. It looked like he was rocking back and forth in his loneliness. His languid body I could see had taken a toll. It looked like he hadn’t eaten for a month. It gave him a boney skeletal look that made me want to stuff some cake down his throat. My eyes stung at the dirty and depressed vibe that was burning the soles of my feet to the tips of my hair. Jaejoong didn’t deserve this. Not now. Not in the time of celebration. Tomorrow was thanksgiving and to have this burden on his shoulders, just him alone, wasn’t something Dong Bang Shin Ki wanted. We wanted him to smile, to do those amusing fashion shows in front of us and dazzle us with his slow thinking when he was smartly told off by Changmin. When he told Micky to try out some clothes that he had seen in a magazine to order. When he told Junsu, with all due respect, not to play soccer in the house which would just cause the boy to whine childishly at him.

And especially to me when he would call me to aside to hangout and chat, telling me what he had heard lately, what was bothering him, a cheesy joke he heard on television, some lyrics that he had come up with and sing to me in that melodic voice that he possessed. A true call of an angel.

But this angel seemed to have changed his course. The invisible wings that were once glowing so much you could see them had now 1000 bullets in each. He was fallen. He was shot down. Unless he was able to move on, he would keep sinking into a dark abyss.

But I wouldn’t let him. I won’t let him.

I called his name. “Jaejoong” I was surprised that my voice sounded strong. When he gave no reply I took a step forward, closing the door behind me. I noticed how dark it looked with the door closed. I went to over to him, from what I could see and sat down next to him, my face looking curiously at his face. Usually it was the look I would give him when I wanted to talk to him and be playful, but now it was something different. It was a stern strong look I was giving him. Looks that I wanted to just tell him what was stashed away in the corners of my heart.

I whispered his name a little gentler this time. “… Jae?”

This time, he tensed at his name being said. His head turned a bit, a dull expression on his face. All I could see was sadness and misery. Dry tears were imprinted on his face that I couldn’t help but stare at. He looked at me with a dazed and out expression. “… Yunho.” He mumbled back to me, his voice cracked. He hadn’t used it at all. It was the first word I heard him say for the past 2 days besides his quiet sobs I wold hear now and then, passing his room. The others had restrained me from breaking into the room to talk to him. They just said “Leave him alone. He needs to be alone.”

They were liars. Why would he want to be alone at a time like this? Why would one who lost someone so dear to him want solitude? It made no sense, but I had no choice but to follow what they said... And leave him be.

Jaejoong looked like he was attempting to stay strong infront of me. Like he didn’t want to crumble infront of anyone, but I knew better. Slowly I got up and I drew my hands to open up the curtains. I could see the stars that were dimly shining but the moon that was full and coating the room in a blanket of odorless fragrance.

I could see his eyes watching from behind me, almost squinting at the little light that came in. When I turned around he was staring up at me and my heart clenched. His eyes were big and he had a weak look on his face. It was something I had never seen on Jae.

And I never wanted to see it again.

I was in a black T-shirt that said “Fucking do things MY way”. The text was in white. It was something I was quite fond of. Jaejoong was wearing the same clothes he had when he woke up. It was silk white pants and a white vest that stretched near his waist. There had been no meetings or callings for the week. But after the week was over, everything was going to have to go back to normal and we would have to go back to work. It was something I didn’t preferably like about SM Entertainment. It was business first then feelings.

I chalantly glided back to sit beside Jae who was watching me as I did. I felt uncomfortable with the silence that followed afterwards so I smiled as best I could, looking up at him. Maybe I could cheer him up a bit.

“You haven’t eaten all day” I decided that food would always do him well. “We have room service you know. How about we get some ice cream huh? I bet you’d love some of that.”

Again, there was silence and my smile soon faded into a nervous and bland look. Jaejoong wasn’t talking, or making a move. His expression didn’t change, but he stared at the white wall. A part of me was becoming more and more irritated, but I knew that the best thing was to try and coach him towards recovery.

“Jae.. C’mon. Talk to me.” My determined voice seemed to draw his attention a bit. I placed my hand on his shoulder and I turned around so he would look at me. I saw his eyes. His beady black eyes look like a blackhole. He shifted so he was fully looking at me. He had a small smile that was curling on his lips. I only wish it wasn’t a saddened one.

“Did.. did you know that she grew me up alone till I was 12?” He asked me this question that I obviously didn’t know how to respond back to. I just shook my head to the side and urged him on to talk, though I knew he was going to with or without my consent. He started telling me about times that they had together and I listened patiently, my background history and knowledge about Jaejoong increasing.

“She used to be able t-to understand me. When I went through puberty and my voice was horrible. She told me ‘Jaejoong, don’t you listen to a word those boys say. You keep practicing and you’ll be the best singer in town’” Jaejoong looked pleased at how his status was now, but as soon as that enlightenment came his hands were open and to the side, his face looking down, on the verge of tears again. “And here I am… one the top singers of Asia... And I couldn’t even...” He choked on his words and his hands went over his face, breathing in shakey breaths. Since I had never lost such a close member before, I didn’t know how to respond to him. So I did whatever I could for the moment.

I grabbed his shoulders and pulled him close to my chest. I could hear Jae squeak in surprise but I wasn’t sure if that was because he was crying, or because he hadn’t expected it. Either way, I didn’t care. My arms wrapped around his frail body and my chin rested on the dip of his shoulder. My cheek was against his and my breath was coating his ear. My affections were bottled up inside him. Now could be the time to tell. But I decided to go against it. I smiled lovingly and then pulled him away, looking at him and cupping his cheek. “Jae, I know it’s a hard time for you, but you should never regret against someone who’s gone. It brings bad luck you know. Your mother wouldn’t want this would she?” I asked him this question which made him stop his crying, but slight hiccups were still catching and strangling his lungs. “I think she would want you to try harder now. To sing so loud that she can hear you in heaven, right?” Jaejoong seemed to look at me with a relieved look, like he just had needed someone to say that to him. His pink lips were swollen in the stance of him biting them too much from before. How he had tried not to cry in public.

Jaejoong was silent for awhile, besides the raspy breath he was taking in. My thumb gently glided against the tears that were flowing and ceased them to stop. “No more tears... You’re not as good-looking when you’re crying you know.” I teased him and then he shot me a glance that was a bit annoyed, but he had to bow his head to chuckle a bit. I could tell that I had made him feel, at least a bit better. My heart felt warmed at this. I was able to help him.

My Jaejoong.

I was surprised when this time, Jaejoong leaned on my shoulder and his arms wrapped around my waist. He was inhaling deeply, feeling almost relaxed now after the coped talk. I wanted to tell him more, wanted to say more. But I was the talking type, I knew he wasn’t.

Jaejoong looked up at me with those mesmerizing eyes. “Yunho.” He interrupted the silence and I drew my attention to him, one hand raising to stroke his head. “Yeah?” I inquired back at him. His eyes looked down for a moment, looking like he was deciding what he wanted to say before looking back up. “Promise me…” He paused for a moment, waiting for me to give a signal to continue. After I looked oddly at him and shifted my body so I could support his weight, he went on.

“Promise me… that you won’t leave me alone. Not now, not ever.”

I was definitely shocked at this question, but my insides bubbled in joy at the way he said and worded it. It wasn’t what I had wanted, but it was a start. Smiling I ran my hands down his back and then back to the top of is head again, just keeping it there.

“I swear on your head, that I, Yunho will not leave Jaejoong. Not now, not ever.”

I could see Jaejoong looked unsure of my consent so I sung him something in Korean that I had been working on.

“You can lean on me if you want to cry.
You can hug me if you want to break down.
You can break me if you’re angry.
But just remember... That I’ll be here for you.”

“I gave him that goofy grin I always did and I could see him hiding his face again to stifle a small laugh. He nodded his head, as if reassuring himself of something and just cuddled closer to my chest, adding a bit too much weight.

A ragged shout was heard leaving my mouth before I fell atop the bed, Jaejoong crashing onto me. His head rested on my chest and his legs intertwined with my own. I could feel his cold toes mingling with my warmer ones and it made me shiver slightly. I lifted my head to see if he was okay and all he did was lift his head, giving me a lazy look that made my face flush just a bit. I smiled nervously and he tilted his head a bit, making a move to get up. I could see him somewhat... Disappointed at my reaction however. He muttered “Sorry”. I frowned for a moment before placing a hand on his back and pressing him back down on my chest and sighing, leaving him now with the surprised look. “It’s alright.” I said and then gave him a soft smile.

“Just promise me that you’ll eat tonight, and I won’t mind.” I was sly and bad. I know, so shoot me, but the playful look that Jaejoong gave me was worth it.

But the light punch on my shoulder wasn’t. Ow.

It was okay though. We would stay like this... Just a bit longer.

Or… until the rest of the members came home.

---

Crossposted: -

jaeho_yongwonhi

hug______

</div>

R&&R Pwease :'3 ♥

xiahbebeh — Fri, 09 Mar 2007 23:16:30 GMT

{FANFICTION}

&&;; { Indoor Waiting }

Featuring: DBSK
Title: Indoor Waiting
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Fluff
Pairing: MinSu
Summary: How do you know when the key moment is?
Author's Note: This is a MinSu that I wrote awhile ago. I hope you enjoy it. Pure fluff in this one. :'3 cute adorable fluff~~ -swoon- ♥

---

Lazing off to the side, Junsu was found tossing a soccer ball up in the air and back down to his hands. His fingers itched for some excitement or to do something at least. It pained him that everyone seemed preoccupied and into their own world. Didn’t anyone do outdoor sports anymore? Yoochun he knew had gone for a stroll but where it was he wouldn’t tell him. All he said that he was meeting someone important so it was beyond Junsu to even ask about it. Junsu twitched his nose uncomfortably. Soon he would have to resort to throwing the soccer ball against the wall and causing a commotion to get someone to get around to taking him outside. Though Junsu liked to think of himself as one of the mature ones, ranking close to Yunho, it was also defined the he was a kiddish boy who couldn’t leave his childhood antics behind. Junsu seemed fine with that. No one was killed from getting too much attention. It wouldn’t hurt just to want a bit of it.

Cruising down boredly through the open house he looked to the front to see Changmin. His heart fluttered with opportunity. Changmin! He’ll play soccer with me, won’t he? Changmin seemed to be leaning his ear against the wall. Junsu blinked in a light suspicion. Usually when Changmin did things, it was for a reason. Most people didn’t understand how he was like, but Junsu did. Instantly reading his emotions, Junsu thought that maybe he was nervous about the press conference this afternoon. Changmin never was the talking type in front of an audience. Junsu knew that Yunho naturally said a lot, being the leader and all, but Changmin didn’t seem the type to talk in front of a camera to introduce and chit-chat with the viewing Cassiopeias. The small-eyed boy knew however that Changmin was definitely loud and open when it came to each other. Junsu’s face automatically brightened in an idea. If he was worried about the press conference, then surely a round of soccer would cheer him up! Junsu slid on the furnished floor feverishly excited to get to his companion, making a dive towards Changmin while his socks were sliding on the floor. Opening his mouth he went to holler the youngest member’s name.

Changmin bit his lip nervously as his ear pressed tightly against the wall. His stomach was in a knot at the conversation that he could barely hear through the walls, but could roughly make out a bit of it. Jae had told him that he would make some ramen for him after him and Yunho went to discuss something. Changmin of course agreed but 2 hours had passed and there was no sign of either man coming out. Changmin, being the impatient teen he was, had to figure out what they were talking about that could possibly eat up 2 hours while he was supposed to be eating up some oriental thick Korean ramen.

Now he regretted ever wanted to snoop on the two Hyungs.

Right when he was about to decipher one of their words, he could hear pattering of the feet and his head quickly turned in reflex. Before he knew it a sliding small character was gliding on the floor, heading straight towards Changmin. Panicking he shook his hands to signal not to come, but it was too late.

Junsu had his eyes closed and he loved the feeling of the warm hair brushing through his soft locks. Unconsciously his mouth opened and he squealed Changmin’s name loudly.

“CHHAAANNNNGGGGMM—“

There was a loud crash noise that plummeted near the corner that if Yoochun were home, would surely pop his head over to see what was causing a racket while he was trying to read his book. Junsu barely registered what he had crashed into. That is… until he felt something fairly squishy beneath him. Easefully lifting his head, his neck teetered to the side to look at exactly what was on the ground. His face was casted into a small realization at the person beneath him.

Changmin had tumbled to the ground under Junsu’s weight. His Raito hair smoothed perfectly by his head still but his face looking to the side, eyes shut in a small knock-out. Junsu couldn’t help but hover a hand over his face, wanting to stroke the contents of it. The side of his cheek, the long neck that he possessed that made his lips oddly dry again. The slender nose and those lips. Those droopy, but gentle lips that greeted Junsu each day with a new smile.

Right as Junsu was mere inches away from touching his face, Changmin let out a silent groan and Junsu was quick to whip his hand away. “Nghh…” The poor head-struck boy raised a hand to his forehead and propped himself up. Immediately his body felt weight on his waist and his head drifted up to see what was causing that predicament. Instantly his eyes were locked with Junsu’s and he felt stiff all of a sudden. Changmin could feel his heartbeat speed up unnaturally and he swallowed a small gulp that had wadded in his throat. “H-Hyung…” he mumbled to him, wondering just why Junsu hadn’t gotten up yet.

Oh believe you me, Junsu was about to get up, embarrassed by his landing on Changmin, but words that were not their own made each of their blood freeze… or was it… heat up?

“Yunho… no... please I’m tir—“

“I don’t care if you’re tired… I need it NOW”

“A-Ahh! Y-YUNHO! Don’t… plea-“

“Mmm... Joongie…”

Both Junsu and Changmin’s heads turned in the direction of the locked door. But the look didn’t stay plastered to the door for long. Junsu’s eyes strayed to the man below him and his emotions bruised his heart. Changmin’s expression was simply priceless. What he wouldn’t give to just peck him on those lips of his.

The youngest member couldn’t think straight himself. “What.. What are they doing in there? They really can’t be? Jae? And Yunho? My two idolizing Hyungs are..” Changmin’s breath went short at the picture that flowed without much resistance into his mind. His head now turned to look at Junsu, who was staring down at him with a haunting expression. Changmin’s temples pulsed and he recounted a conversation that he had had with Yoochun.

---

“Hyung.. Can I talk to you for a second?”

“Sure, what is it Changmin?”

“How… How would you confess your love to someone?”

“… You’re in love?”

“I didn’t say it was me!!”

“Heh… Alright alright.. Well… first thing is you need to know when the key moment is”

“Key moment?”

“Right, like a romantic trip to a restaurant or movies.”

“So… you need to wait on the right moment for a confession?”

“Well yeah. You aren’t going to just confess blankly when your shopping are you?”

“… I guess not”

“Listen Changmin. Your heart will know and tell you when your ready and believe you me, it’ll be
a both tense and relaxing moment”

“… Ahhh, Thanks very much Hyung!”

“No problem Changmin… No problem at all”

---

“The right moment…” Changmin’s head throbbed at the painful decision. He could hear loud panting from the room and that wasn’t helping the situation at hand. He bit his lip and his hands clenched slightly. What would he do? What could he do? His feelings for Junsu, they were always there and they never left him alone. From morning till night there was only one person on his mind, and that one person was the playful and bright Junsu. Would he blow it if he were to tell him? What if Junsu laughed at him for even considering that liking of him? Changmin’s ego sunk as he tried to bottle up the remainder to confess. If he did this, that huge anvil of pressure and uncertainness would at least be off his chest. It was either now or never. This was the moment. He had to take it. He was tired of waiting.

“Junsu… I—“ Changmin was suddenly cut off when he felt a pressing of soft skin onto his lips. His eyes were in shock as he looked at the man who had pressed his lips against his, his hips rocking slightly against his.

Junsu’s head hung over his, one hand finally being able to cradle his cheek. Junsu could feel Changmin tense his whole body even more than before if it were possible. But through coaxing of Junsu’s steady and gentle touch, Changmin slowly relaxed and his eyes shut to surrender into the sinfully delicious kiss.

Seconds, Minutes, Hours seemed to pass before Junsu had finally decided to let go of his little Min. His head was thrown back, gasping as he released himself from Changmin’s lips. His bangs covered his eyes and Changmin was left there breathlessly mouthing the air in both for air and for Junsu. Flushed faces were staring at each other and they seemed to pierce one another with unsaid confessions.

Silence loomed through the house for a moment or two before both Junsu and Changmin just… started laughing. Junsu immediately hovered his face over Changmin’s again and whispered in his ear.

“Saranghaegyo Changmin”

Changmin looked up with a shocked face at the smiling Junsu that had a blissful look on his face. So fearless to spill what he had held in for a lifetime. In response Changmin lifted himself up and just sighed, before pressing his lips onto Junsu’s cheeks.

“I thought I told you Junsu… I hate waiting. Saranghaegyo Junsu-Hyung” Changmin smiled wryly before Junsu placed his hands on his shoulders and pinned Changmin onto the floor.

Yunho and Jae were busy in the room and Yoochun was out. He was sure he could get something done within this time.

Maybe staying indoors wasn’t so bad after all.

---

</div>
R&&R Pwease :'3 ♥

xiahbebeh — Fri, 09 Mar 2007 19:26:06 GMT

{DEAR LJ}

&&;; { MARCH BREAK OH YAH!! }

Well here I am in business class again. Want to know what I'm thinking? ;D

I totally hate this schools proxy blocker. It's driving me up the wall. I tried to find some sites that have that proxy blocker thing and the computer BLOCKED those sites. I was like HOW DO I GET TO GAIA/YOUTUBE/OTHER SITES IF YOU KEEP FRIGGIN' BLOCKING THEM ALL?!?!

It still baffles me on how they didn't block livejournal and yet they want to block youtube and gaia o_O;

Anyways, so here I am in business class and it's the last day before march break *YEHYEH* which means that there's only.. 8 people in this class at the moment since most people just screw it and stay home. See, I would have done that but I decided that I needed to finish off my business work and stuff. Plus I got to have first lunch and hang out with my close buddies so it was all good :'3

My muscles ache like HELL though. You know why? Because I went toboganning with my gym class. It was from 9AM to 2:30PM. Which is the whole day of being outside in the cold, sliding down the snow and slamming into rough surfaces. XD;; Oh dear, how much fun I had yesterday I had to pay for today with my sprained muscles. My biceps, thighs, legs, and sides hurt. Blah.. I feel so handicapped. XD;

It was all fun though. One guy in my class, Tim was such a bumsicle. I was steadying myself on the tobogan because quite honestly, I haven't really been majorly toboganing before. I wasn't even ready onto the tobogan and he came out of NO WHERE and pushes me full speed and I literally flew out into the air and crash landed and then rolled down the hill. I was in suuchh pain and fury. I ran up and chased him around. I would have picked up that same tobogan and hurled it at him if I had the mind to. DX -flails-

Today during lunch (wow how short my attention span is) I was talking to Dinesh because he was just walking around like a loner and I decided to talk to him. We were talking for awhile and he was poking fun at me liking asian dudes since I showed him a picture of Jung Yunho on my iPod. So anyways we both dropped out of french class and I went to the regular gym class and he went to sports management which I told him he shouldn't but he did anyways and now he wants to switch out because he SUCKS at it. I was like "Har, sucker I told you so" but I'm glad he is since he's a really good player on the team. It would be nice to see him play.

Also, 2 days ago there was a badminton match at my school. Being so this asian guy with the coolest hair is usually there, John. He had been stalking my friend Riku for awhile but Riku is annoyed with him and pushing him away because he supposedly doesn't talk but when I talk to him, we find so much to talk about and stuff so I'm not quite sure why she doesn't talk to him or something. I think she likes people who make her life and stuff. Anyways, he's the coach of the badminton team, or shall I said was. The teachers kicked him off as the coach and their excuse was so lame too. They said how he wasn't letting other people have a turn to play. While I think that it is about the sport of the game when you play and whatnot, I just think that it's nonsensicle if you play to loose, especially if you're in my school which is a mostly athletic based school. Our gym is literally 3 gyms put together. 3 gym classes can and are held at the same time and we have so much hi-tech and advanced gym equipment and so many banners that the walls are nearly full-up. It's just, something that you think would be able to make sense. John said that he told everyone in the beginning that he knows that not everyone is good and not everyone will be able to play and with that said he asked whoever is not willing to show up and stay a part of the team none the less can leave. He said all this and he was a good coach when I was asking my friends whom were on the team and he said that he told them that he was there to let the good players play and train the weak players to be good players aswell. You can't deny the fact that some people are better then others and you can't just show up to go and embarrass yourself infront of a competing school. It makes no sense. Though I still think that everyone should have gotten a time to play. I honestly really don't know. It's hard to say since I'm not in the badminton team.

My black friend Charnelle says hi, again. She says she shouts out to hot all asian people (XD)

Bwuhuhu she's funny. I wuve her so much. XD Oh that reminds me to rant about something I'm so cheezed about, but I shouldn't type it here, I'll wait till I get home. Stay tuned for that ;0 /commercial

I'm listening to my iPod right now (oh gods where would I be without it?) and it's playing DBSK's "Will you be my girlfriend?" Oh how I adore this song. I can't believe I only downloaded recently. It's sooooooo good. Such a nice fluffy and romantic song. I looked up the translation for it and I think I'll post it sometime. When I'm not oober lazy and tired to type up whatever goes on in my life.

Oh yeah that reminds me to make a note (I guess this would be a note) that the layout I have looks way better on I.E then it does on FireFox.. -sigh- I wish it looked better on firefox. I rather dislike I.E now. o'___'O;;

I guess I shall conclude this since I want to try one more time to try and see if I can find a proxy thing that actually works.. with that I shall sign off with the following phrase by DBSK;

Dancing in ~~summer~~ winter paradise!
SARANGHAE! HI YA YA YA!

Nol saranghae, forever come with me ;3

~ xi-xi ♥
</div>

xiahbebeh — Mon, 05 Mar 2007 00:32:46 GMT

{DEAR LJ}

&&;; { Heroshock closed down }

That's right. Heroshock the korean cafe that was in dedication to the DBSK member Kim Jaejoong has recently shut down. Want to know why? Click the LJ cut and you'll see exactly why.

So, why was Heroshock shut down? A place where every Jaejoong fan could get their insight on the newest photos, fancams, information and chat with other Jaejoong fans? The reason does not only make me fucking pissed off, it makes me think how some people just have an unlimited biased in themselves.

Heroshock was shut down because the members of Heroshock were bashing the other members of DBSK

What sort of nonsensical shit is that? How the fuck can you, the original korean fans even start to bash the other members of the group? That makes no fucking sense to me. All you want is for Jaejoong to look good, but doing what you're doing is making him look BAD. It's making him look WORSE. It's making YOU look bad. I've already seen a lowview on some of the korean fans, but this just took the cake. How the fuck could you, the same people who invented the saying "5 - 1 = 0 , 5 + 1 = 0" start bashing the other members? They said horrible things about Kim Junsu, Shim Changmin, Park Yoochun and Jung Yunho. You want to know some of the things they said about the other members? This was taken directly off soompi by someone who translated exactly why Heroshock was taken down.

1. Bashing Yunho on his birthday
The people of Heroshock said how they were happy that Yunho only got a small celebration because they were comparing his birthday to Jaejoong's birthday and were proud and happy about how Jaejoong's celebration was bigger and larger than Yunho's.

2. Ignoring Junsu and his fans
Apparently what was going on is that they were spreading rumours around about Junsu and one of the fans had come to ask them to stop discriminating Junsu and she ended up being flamed VERY heavily by the Heroshock members.

3. Making rumours about Yoochun's speedings
Recounting the incident when Yoochun && Jaejoong got into an accident, the fans blamed Yoochun for the accident, saying that he was driving and he was speeding and that's what caused them to crash. The Yoochun fans responded saying it wasn't his fault, but they were going to deaf ears.

4. Community Control
Heroshock members stay all night and talk all about how Jaejoong is the best out of all of them and they also go around to other's fansite forums and bash the said member of their choice and say how they're not as good as Jaejoong I guess.

The moderators were put into a decision of the close the fansite and they did because of the appauling behaviour displayed by the members of Heroshock. It is a rumour or atleast not confirmed piece of information that Jaejoong actually did witness some of the things that were going around Heroshock and he had complained to the head of the fansite that he did not like was being said. If I were him, I would feel disrespected and I would also feel embarrassed that my fanbase was rude enough to go around and bash the other members in which he sees as family.

I am just.. so pissed I can't see straight. I mean yes of course you're going to favour one of the members more than the others, but what makes you think that gives you the fucking right to go to the other members cafe and forums and start bashing them? Do you have any idea what the meaning of "fan" is? Or are you just posing as it because you hope one day you'll ironically get noticed by them and they'll fall in love with you and you'll live happily ever after? Are you really that dense that you don't know the difference between anti-fan behaviour and fan behaviour? When you declare yourself a fan of Jaejoong, you have to accept what he accepts, you have to be okay with his decisions even if you think it's wrong of him to do it. If Jaejoong got a girlfriend, what would you do? Would you bash her before even knowing her name? Would you start seeing faults in her outer appearance before even deciding if she was a nice girl or not? If she wasn't korean, would you instantly start bashing her culture without even understanding it? Would you become a racist? Or would you accept her because if Jaejoong loves her, then that should be enough for us fans to understand that she obviously has something that he loves and he isn't going to stop loving her until something happens between them? Would you look at her and actually do some proper research and support the pairing because they are in love and she makes Jaejoong happy? What would you really do?

When will this biasdness stop? If Jaejoong was put into Changmin's body, would you love him any less? Any more? If you're a fan of someone, it's never, I repeat never just because of their looks. All of the DBSK members worked their asses off to get where they are now and for you to come along and start dissing the other members just makes me want to track you down and pull your guts out and strangle you with them. Why are some fans so blind? If you discriminate one DBSK member, you discriminate them all. Some of them may not look all good for one MV, but that doesn't friggin' mean that you just decide you don't like them anymore and move on to some other attractive member.

I wish that some of these fans would stop acting so extreme and just love the whole group for who they are. Their looks, their talents, their oddities and their screw-ups all the same. Afterall, they aren't inhuman, perfect beings that are almighty. They are just human. They started off as babies birthed from mothers, they went through hardships, they trained for what they wanted. All of them fell inlove, they feel love, sorrow, guilt, pain. They bleed the same way any other person does. The sooner people understand this, the better the future of the fanbase all around the world for the boys will be.

~ xi xi ♥
</div>

xiahbebeh — Sun, 04 Mar 2007 19:02:35 GMT

{FANFICTION}

&&;; { Can I Love You? }

Featuring: DBSK
Title: Can I Love You?
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst
Pairing: JaeHo
Summary: When a confession takes a turn
Author's Note: This was inspired by a youtube JaeHo tribute that I watched. This story is dedicated to my Joongie Riku, since I owe her some fanfictions anyways. xD ♥ Enjoy~

---

"Almost.. done" a gentle whisper worshipped the nearly blank letter that was just below his view. Large orbs of succession looked down at the lined paper with a warmness that swam around in the pits of his stomach. Just the letters that he inked had a different purpose for what he felt, what he saw, what he meant. Crumpled pale paper was in a small pile next to his desk, where incomplete and incompetent copies of the exact letter were stashed, feeling that they did not have the expectation to live up to the one person he hoped to give it to. Being it 2AM in the morning, the young adolescent boy felt no tire and infact, felt more excited then feeling the beats of "H.O.T" filling his body.

Jung Yunho had finally completed the perfect letter. He practiced the strokes perfectly, his inky korean symbols flowing in a delicate yet needy press that he found himself messing up with his own want. A small pink tongue poked out from the caverns of his wet mouth, gliding it selfishly down the bottom of his lip, tasting the dryness that was un-maintained for the longest time. It wasn't like it mattered at the moment however, he was filled with an exceptional bliss that he felt no one could take away.

With a turn of his head, the perfect lined teeth flashed a smile at the photo album that was beside him, the cover a plain turquoise colour with a simple verse of "Memories" tucked into the bottom corner of the booklet. Moving the large hand that he possessed over the smooth texture of the book, he felt a rush of happiness stream through him at his hard effort and work he put into delivering the right package. He was determined to choose just the right pictures, always focusing the lens of his over and over to get the perfect shot of the angelic onyx-hair beauty that bestowed upon him everyday in class. Yunho always made up excuses that he needed models for photography club, feeling the ego that his hyung possessed to get not only the most serious of shots, but the man that he knew underneath the cold metal frame.

The cute, loving, soft Kim Jaejoong that Yunho had always adored.. and always loved.

Standing up with confidence, he looked at the letter and gripped it tightly in his hand, watching his clock for a moment to mentally count down the hours until school had started. This was the first time he had felt so encouraged to go to school in awhile. If it wasn't for him, Yunho felt he would have already dropped out, become an entertainer on the streets that hopefully scored a couple of dollars to buy him a pack of gum. Shuddering at that picture, he shook his head, running some fingers through his spiky chestnut brown hair. No, he wasn't going to be that, he was going to be someone. He won't see laziness in himself anymore.

He only wanted to show him his all.

Tucking the letter into the treasured photo book, he swept his feet, maneuvering through the clothes on the floor he neglected to pack today due to the special present he wanted to present. Pressing his tushie onto the soft futon that comforted his weak body, he squiggled his body backwards, the loose white vest and baggy pants that was on his body seeking embracement from the little sheets he had. Covering himself up to his neck, his eyes watched the whiteness of his ceiling, different pictures of himself, his family and his friends posted for his viewing before he went to sleep. A smile lingered on his face at the one picture that was directly above him.

It was one taken not too long ago, Yunho could remember like it was just yesterday. On a jeans day that happened at their school, Yunho had seen the lenient body that his crush possessed. The belly piercing that poked out of his stomach every time he would raise his hands just a bit, the flash of silver blinding his eyes. Choosing that day to where low-riders, he could catch a glimpse of the blue Calvin Klein boxers that he wore, adoring the racking material that he only wanted to rip off. Cheeks turning pink at the thought, he registered his mind to a gentler thought. The picture included Jaejoong, Junsu, Changmin, Yoochun and himself, all posing in a silly matter. Jaejoong in the middle and Yunho beside him, his finger poking into his cheek to make the man smile right before the flash turned on. Yunho sighed at the sweet memory of the small delicate smiles he could get out of him, his eyes closing as his mind wandered about to other moments they shared. He loved them.

And He loved him.

---

He was nervous. He couldn't help it. Yunho stood at the back of the school field, holding tightly onto the book that was in his hands, scared that it would fly away from him if he happened as to just let one pinky slide off it. He had worked all week on the album and for the record, all year on the pictures. Butterflies fluttered around his stomach and he hissed slightly, looking downwards towards the toned stomach behind the uniform, trying to send it a mental message as to calm itself. Even though he knew himself was impossible. It was all supposed to fall into an accordingly confession. One of those confessions that you see in the korean dramas. Something unique, something out done and obviously original. A smile was on his face as he pictured his hyung's face glow with admiration when flipping through the pages. Just the thought of it got his knees buckling. It was only a matter of time.

Yunho casted his gazes around the empty field, watching the students near the school leaving towards the front and parking lot.

Just a matter of time.

---

He was stood up. He couldn't believe it. He had spent at least an hour or so waiting.. waiting.. just waiting for his figure to show up on the field and allure his eyes to shed some light and hope into him. Disappointment rocked through his body as he let his footsteps press onto the hard cement, almost wanting to drive it right through into the earth. His face was solid with a sign of woe, and yet a worrisome look as to if he had gotten hurt or gotten sick. Maybe he had signed out? Yeah that's it, he had signed out. He mentioned feeling a bit woozy the other day, maybe he was coming down with that bug that was going around the school. Yunho let a little "aisshh" run past his lips. He told him to keep healthy and make sure to drink liquids but of course, the male didn't bother to listen. Although this frustrated Yunho at times, it was an attribute he loved about Jaejoong. His Jaejoong.

Climbing up the steps, he held onto the book. His mind was nearly convinced that he had just signed out of class. It had been convinced until he let his first step dropped onto the rooftop of the school, a place Yunho went to often when he felt not like facing the challenges of his household. What he saw next was something that made his world stop.

There on the rooftop was Jaejoong, holding flowers that he had given a girl. The girl Yunho could recall was in his 3rd period class. Silly, sophisticated and beautiful Bae Seul Gi. She was smiling brightly at the man before her and wrapped his arms around him as Jaejoong did to her as well. When they parted they stayed close, but Jaejoong couldn't help but have a bounce in his step.

"We'll be together now? I'm so happy I could just scream it to the world!"

"Ha ha! Save that for our date Joongie"

"Joongie.. I like that name. Did you think of that yourself?"

"Mm, I heard one of your friends call you it, I thought it was cute"

"Well from now on, I want you to call me that. No one else... only you"

"Joongie.."

He saw them lean in, he saw the lips connect. Yunho's heart stopped. His breathing stopped. His eyes stopped onto the two fleshes colliding into a sweet and delicate kiss. Yunho did the only thing that he could think of at the moment.

He turned, and ran.

His mind flashed with the different scenes of memories that they spent together. Lousy ones, happy ones, cheerful ones, teary ones. The night he slept over and they stayed up watching cheesy korean dramas. When he fell the wrong way and snapped his ankle, it was Yunho who carried him around, fetching his every need. How could he do this to him? He poured his heart and soul into the booklet, into the letter that he had cleverly slipped through his binder. He gave him everything he could in his state of mind, whether it was money, homework, his love.. everything.

On the dirt path of the school track, Yunho could feel his eyes blinding with the burning sensation of salty tears that had no remorse as to falling. The sunset sky showing over the man's features as he clumsily ran as hard as he could until his legs could carry him no longer, making him drop to his knees, the clean uniform pants quickly stained with the dirt that was collected onto the shins and kneecap. His face hit the ground with a nerve-wracking thud and all he could do was stare at the small pebbles that seemed to be even more important than his existence. Trails of tears showered his cheeks, giving his complexion a soft and breakable look. Yunho's hands held the photo book to his chest, biting back the sobs that he felt was not enough to show his grieve. Clamping his fingers over the book his eyes heavy and watching the wind carry a small paper bag through the air. Lips parted as he choked on his saliva build up, hiccupping as the kiss ran through his mind every time that his eyes would dare to blink. At that split second, he remembered a conversation that happened between them, one that was burning into the back of his head.

---

"Ne... we're friends right?"

"Yeah"

"And we'll always be friends.. right?"

"Yeah, of course"

"Then.. can I love you?"

"... Huh?"

"... I mean, as a friend would of course"

"Oh! Of course! You'll always be my number one Yunnie"

".. Really?"

"Heh, would I lie to you?"

".. Hmmm... well.."

"YUNNIE!"

"Ah hah, I kid I kid, I trust you hyung. ... I really do"

"Aisshh, I love you man~"

"... Hah.. I love you too.. hyung"

---

Dulled eyes shut as he sucked in a breath, feeling as if his lungs had been set on fire. He had truly known the answer to this from the start. The use of trying to show him his feelings were trashed to the side by the boys neglect for seriousness. He always had loved him. Jaejoong let him love him. Yunho opened his eyes, realization dawning into his head. It wasn't that if he could love him was the problem.

It was if he could be loved by him.

Yunho's hand shadowed over his face, finally giving into the tears his heart wanted to cry.

"I guess.." he whispered, muffled by his hand. ".. I guess not.."

---

</div>
R&&R Pwease :'3 ♥

xiahbebeh — Fri, 02 Mar 2007 00:19:32 GMT

{FANFICTION}

&&;; { I Didn't Ask for This }

Featuring: DBSK
Title: I Didn't Ask For This
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Character Death
Pairing: JaeMin
Summary: What happens when a soul slips from sanity.
Author's Note: I decided to start posting some fanfictions I write now and then. Most of them are band related (usually DBSK unless I get a request for something else) so.. look forward to them? XD; Sorry I started on such a sad and depressing one. ;o; !! ♥

---

Alone. It was the only feeling I felt right now. Well no, that was a lie. I was feeling a mix of feelings. Sad, angry, depressed, hurt, shattered, lost. It was feelings I had somewhat gotten used to. Atleast I knew after today, I wouldn’t feel it anymore.

It was shallow to do such a thing in the bathroom, or at all. The clean sanitary, high class wallowing of the bathroom. My lips tenderly curled into a sad, but revealing smirk. Yes, I Changmin am part of Dong Bang Shin Ki. I still am and of course proud to be. Jaejoong, Yunho, Junsu, Yoochun and I. We all get what others dream about. Money, fame, fans that would literally die for us.

Or atleast, some of us. I knew I wasn’t one of the most popular members out of the group and with that I knew that it was inevitable. I had nothing to spark the crowd, to make them woo after me or to make them see me as someone that was actually worthy of getting some of the gifts that the others got. Always the shortest in line for the fansigning, never getting as much fanmail as the rest of the members, getting scenes cut from the interviews we have, never being able to go on gameshows. Rumours spread about me, my high school life. I knew that my popularity in school wasn’t high either, just being the shy dork that I was. I like to imagine things, imagine that I am someone else.

Of course, even doing all that couldn’t change the cruel reality that loved slapping me in the face.

Sitting on the cold toilet seat, I began to tinker with the random things in the glossy room. I tried to distract my thougths, but the always bubbled to the same questions that drove me to the brink of insanity.

Why?

There were a lot of questions that filled my head, smudging out the once positive Shim Changmin to grind my gears more and more on what the answer might be.

Why aren’t I attractive? Why can’t I dance better? Sing better? Do fans hate me so? Why? Why aren’t I as popular as the rest? Why can’t I go on gameshows like the rest of the hyungs? Why? Why? Why?

There wasn’t an answer that came to mind, besides the usual “You aren’t good enough.” Of course I wasn’t good enough. I was just a high school student. What was I supposed to do when the people who constructed H.O.T offered me into their business with open and supposedly warm arms? My little one-tracked mind didn’t think beyond what this was actually about.

I wish I had refused.

Who would’ve thought that it would be such harsh training? Obviously I didn’t and I guess I’m stupid for that too. I didn’t realize how competitive the other people were for this. Maybe I shouldn’t have gotten chosen.

I didn’t ask for any of this.

Fame, money, fortune, glory. I’d give this all up for one person. One person alone that I knew wouldn’t turn to me the same way. I mean he has it all already. What would he need with a useless boy?

That’s all I ever was, a useless boy.

It was decided. It had been from the start. My trembling hands jolted to the side when I heard a brief noise. I fastened onto the long, sharp, knife that was swaying between my nimble fingers. My soft eyes adjusted when I heard the knob turning. I could feel the orbs that gazed at the sight before me start to well up in clear liquid, blurring my vision.

It will all be over soon.. is what I kept telling myself.

When the lights flicked on, I stood, exposed in the light, weapon in hand. I saw him muse at me, still blissfully unaware of what I had heard last night.

Whom I had heard him with.

“Min..?” Oh his voice was so sweet. It made me melt just hearing my name on his lips. What I wouldn’t give up to have him hold me in his strong arms. Just once.

I chuckled to myself at that sweet sinful thought. I looked up at him and toyed with the knife at my side. I could feel the cold sweat strangely burning my skin and thoughts as I concentrated on what to speak of. Chestnut brown hair cried out almost like they were aflame at my brain processing what was about to happen.

“I didn’t ask for any of this….” I felt my face heat up. “all I wanted…” this was it. “.. was you..”

I couldn’t feel my movements as my hands had unconsciously lifted the knife from my side to plunge into my throat. Feeling the delicious pain of the tip slicing through my windpipe. The same windpipe that had gotten me so far into this dreadful life that agonized myself into insanity.

I heard him scream my name. I felt me legs give way.

He caught me in his arms, against his chest. He shook me over and over. The pain was unbearable.

But not as unbearable as the pain in my heart.

I didn’t have much time, I knew my body was frail and weak. It always had been, and always will be to the very word that I would speak. With my last gasping breath I whispered the only thing my greedy self wanted to say to him, for oh so long.

“… Sa.. Saranghaeyoh… Jaejoong…” I felt a single tear trace down my cheek, before I felt my world go black. The last words I ever heard from that world, was something that gave me peace to enter the world above.

It was the soft whisper of my name, from the only thing I asked for.

---

</div></div>

R&&R Pwease :'3 ♥

xiahbebeh — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 01:28:15 GMT

{Quizze}

&&;; { One Word }

1. Yourself:
xi-xi ♥

2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend:
Yunho ;DD -bricked-

3. Your hair:
Shoulder-length

4. Your Mother:
Seme

5. Your Father:
Adorable

6. Your Favorite Item:
MP3.

7. Your dream last night:
Cracked.

8. Your Favorite Drink:
Iced Cappicciuno

9. Your Dream Home:
Korean

10. The Room You Are In:
Study Den

11. Your Ex:
Haven'thadone <-- ONE WORD BITCHES >>;

12. Your fear:
Forgotten.

13. Where you Want to be in Ten Years:
Happy.

14. Who you hung out with last night?:
People.

15. What You're Not:
Hard-working. XP

16. Your Best Friend:
Riku-chan. :3

17. One of Your Wish List Items:
DBSK

19. The Last Thing You Did:
Sighed

20. What are you wearing:
Clothes.

21. Your Favorite Weather:
Non-raining.

22. Your Favorite Book:
SMM (So Much Mine)

23. The Last Thing You Ate:
Noodles

24. Your Life:
Muddled

25. Your Mood:
Content

26. What are you thinking about right now:
Words</div></div>

xiahbebeh — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 19:36:28 GMT

{DEAR LJ}

&&;; { Lounging in Business Class }

Well here I am, in business class. XD I got my work done early (stupid review sheets) and there is homework that there is to do butttt.. well I decided to just leave it for detention. During the new semester, you get 5 free lates and after that, you get a detention for each late. So I got late and then I was supposed to have a detention on Friday but I totally forgot and went to the mall with my friend Riku. I didn't know that if you miss one detention you get another one. Now the unfair part is that I made up one detention on Monday and I thought I would only have to serve one more, but then apparently I also had gotten a uniform violation...

WHAT THE PHUCK! I NEVER GOT A FUCKING UNIFORM VIOLATION DDD:

Obviously even if I told the people that (which I did) they just go "Oh plaese it's on record" so now I have detentions on Monday (served), Tuesday (served), Wednesday (today will be served) andddd tomorrow. How lame is that? D: Fuck you allllll.

Anyways :D onto more happier topics, there's a business test tomorrow, Monday civics homework is due and Monday french oral presentation is also due. BUT! I might be signing out of french IB because (if you read my other journal entry) I wanna take sports management. I couldn't find Dinesh who I wanted to ask if it was good or not. He still has my pen too..

... My friend Charnie is spazzing over Tackey && Tsubasa. XD She says Hi... and she loves Tackey and Max from DBSK and Gackt... most of all Tackey. And to all the hot asian guys out there! (and she's black o:)

These computers in the business room are way more slower than the ones in the library, which is really cheezy. I wish they were faster. I mean their not omega slow slow.

XDD lawl okay my friend Charnie was just sitting at her computer and some chick messeged her and she didn't know at all who it was and then finally the girl sitting across the room (Samantha) shouted "You're so retarded Charnelle!" and then Charnie realized it was her. ROFL. XD That made me laugh.

It's 2:27PM right now and class ends in around 15 minutes. (2:45PM) but then I have to go to the detention hall. ;___; -cries- I don't wanna sit there again. I forgot my book AND my iPod. What sorta luck is this. -____-;; -weeps-

But I still need to find the sports management teacher before I go to detention, so blah. -3-; I wonder I can run down really quick. The gyms on the same floor as the detention hall so it won't matter. I guess I can zoom in and out and ask about the curriculum and what not. My problem is that it's full of grade 11s. Not that it's a bad thing or anything, but I mean being a grade 10 stuck in a grade 11 position is sorta.. irking. D: but I guess I'll have to either way. Since I ain't staying in French IB. Ughhh even though I am the social type, I don't know any of those grade 11s, just the grade 10s. :/ I figure they'll be nice though. -wishes not to make gym a living hell- xD;;

Anyways, now I'm going to just check up on some of the communities and hopefull kill the next... well 10 minutes. >>; I can't believe how much I typed in such a short amount of time. o3o I must be a geek. <3

~ xi-xi ♥

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xiahbebeh — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 03:47:59 GMT

{DEAR LJ}

&&;; { COPIERS ARE BUCKETS OF FAILURE!! }

THAT'S RIGHT. YOU ALL FAIL. FAIL FAIL FAIL. DDD:

Okay, this is what happened. I was on Gaiaonline (yeah yeah I go on that. Bite Me. D:<) and I noticed that the little letter in the top corner was highlighted. Meaning I have a PM! So my brain is registering "zomg YAYZ I HAVE MAILZ" usually I would assume it's some stupid thing sent from the gaia@friends or whatever to send it to your whole friendlist, which means you learned stuff about people that you really didn't care about and also wonder "why the hell are you on my friendlist in the first place?" But that was taken off so I no longer receive spam or junkmail. :DDD AIN'T THAT LOVELEH.

Well anyways, it was from Lixxy~ a friend of mine who made 2 gaia profile layouts for me. The first one was a sidescroll one which was original and she gave me a huge discount on in which I accepted into paying with my pixelated goldies. It was beautiful and I had it for I think well over half a year. Now, recently I had commissioned her to make me a newer one that features the korean actor Lee Junki. It's beautiful. ♥

So Lixxy sends me this PM right? and she's linking me to this chick WHO HAS THE EXACT SAME CODING FOR THE PROFILE AS I DO! I don't mean LIGHT taken coding, I'm talkin' HOLY SHIT THAT LOOKS LIKE A N00BISH FAILING COPY OF MY OLD PROFILE!

EVERYTHING WAS FUCKING THE SAME! THE LAYOUT, THE SIDESCROLL, THE WISHLIST, THE SETUP, EVEN THE WHOLE "USERNAME@GAIAONLINE" WAS THE SAME!

Now, you can just IMAGINE how BOTH of us are so pissed off. So we went and commented on her profile saying how it was nice, and THEN slammed her for having the same codes. And you know what she did?

SHE WAS ALL "OH MY SISTER MADE IT AND I WOULD NEVER DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT AND BLA BLA BLA SHIT"

and I'm sitting here since she replied like RIGHT away since me and Lixxy asked her for the link to whoever did the coding and since she was right online responding to one after the other and then all of a sudden she stopped replying.

YOU STUPID MOFO! YOU THINK YOU CAN PULL A FAST ONE ON ME? YOU TOOK LIXXY'S HARD WORKED AND MY HARD EARNED GOLD AND DECIDED YOU CAN RIP IT OFF AND MAKE YOURSELF SOME CHEAP COPY AND SAY THAT YOUR SISTER OR EVEN "YOURSELF" MADE IT AND TAKE CREDIT FOR YOUR STUPID N00BISH IDEA THAT LOOKS LIKE SHIT?! NU UH I DON'T FUCKING THINK SO.

On a brighterside, me and Lixxy are going to spam the hell out of her inbox and if she ignores us, we're reporting her. :DDDD ♥
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