andi (twocents.com) (@Nexuist) / X

andi (twocents.com)

34.9K posts

andi (twocents.com)

@Nexuist

In the beginning Bill Clinton gave him a green card. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move • @twocents

San Francisco, CA

Joined April 2013

Pinned
andi (twocents.com)
@Nexuist
Nov 26, 2025
The app where your username is your net worth has been APPROVED by both App Stores. If you preorder now your phone will auto install twocents when it releases on December 7. Preordering helps out by making the App Store algorithm rank us higher in searches - thanks in advance!
90K
andi (twocents.com)
@Nexuist
Oct 1, 2022
my favorite LSD story is from this old microsoft engineer who took a ridiculous amount of acid and found a way to open a windows xp control panel of his brain and turned off his fear of heights
andi (twocents.com)
@Nexuist
Feb 14, 2024
Apparently in Hawaii if you let a bus merge ahead of you the driver can press a 🤙🏻 button
6.1M
andi (twocents.com)
@Nexuist
Oct 22, 2024
I don’t think people realize just how badly Juul fucked up their bodies if they’re receiving $3,000 payouts from one class action lawsuit. “Yay I can buy a new iPhone!” Bro you’re going to need a new iRon Lung Pro Max
6.1M
andi (twocents.com)
@Nexuist
Aug 28, 2024
roommate still hasn’t noticed I’ve been raising the oxygen in our apartment air composition by 0.5% every day and that’s why we can do everything on 3 hours of sleep
4.8M
andi (twocents.com)
@Nexuist
Aug 19, 2024
when I was 22 I took my ex to a car dealership so she could buy a car with her own money for the first time. she wanted me to help her negotiate and pick a car etc. the sales rep noticed our matching crocs and charms and immediately was like “oh I love seeing young couples here”
18M
andi (twocents.com)
@Nexuist
Oct 14, 2025
One of my favorite pictures ever. February 2014, Raleigh North Carolina, following 3.3 inches of snow
2.8M
andi (twocents.com)
@Nexuist
May 11, 2025
They just gave me the diet woke
1.6M
andi (twocents.com)
@Nexuist
Oct 17, 2025
Mad ML scientist
@HououinTyouma
Oct 16, 2025
new sitcom idea: 18 yo chinese ccp spy joining an SF defense startup and realizing no one has actually done any work because they are too busy going to parties and chasing social clout, so she has to create all of the tech herself before she can send it back home
3.1M
andi (twocents.com)
@Nexuist
Jun 25, 2023
taxi driver: you don’t speak albanian? me (in albanian): i do! I’ve just forgotten a lot of words driver: ah come on man learn the language. show that you’re proud of your country me: i am! I’m actually thinking of moving here driver: now why would you do that. that’s stupid
1.6M
andi (twocents.com)
@Nexuist
Dec 24, 2024
My hot take on Ukraine is that Putin was briefed on Biden's mental decline by late 2021, tried to take advantage of a weak President by gunning for Kyiv, and was genuinely shocked to discover there actually is an American deep state that operates regardless of the President
3.1M
andi (twocents.com)
@Nexuist
Aug 24, 2024
What a beautiful shot. Looks like a textbook cover you'd find in a high school circa 2008
YIMBYLAND
@YIMBYLAND
Aug 24, 2024
Hong Kong in 1995 was a fever dream
825K
andi (twocents.com)
@Nexuist
Jun 23, 2023
me: we should go to a museum! grandpa: don’t go to a museum, just ask us. i‘m so old they built the museum using what i know me: haha nice one grandpa >visit museum >grandpas name on contributors plaque
734K
andi (twocents.com)
@Nexuist
Mar 26, 2024
no matter how shitty your morning is at your office job today at least you didn’t underwrite the insurance policy for a cargo ship that took out an $800 million bridge
3.5M