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The Dad
@thedad
Welcome to the club. 🔥 twitter.com/search/from:th… 🏆 twitter.com/thedad/timelin… 🎮 @thedadgaming
United States
Joined March 2013
530
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130.4K
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  • user avatar
    The Dad
    @thedad
    Nov 22, 2019
    Flight attendant: Is there a doctor on this flight? Dad: *nudging me* that should've been you Me: Not now Dad Dad: Not asking for a YouTuber to help, are they? Me: Dad, there's a medical emergency happening right now Dad: Go and see if "what up guys" helps
  • user avatar
    The Dad
    @thedad
    Feb 28, 2019
    Now THIS is how you spend a snow day with your kid. [Scott Theisen]
    00:00
  • user avatar
    The Dad
    @thedad
    Mar 9, 2023
    Replying to @DianaG2772
    She got all the way to seagull in arms before anyone decided "maybe we should stop her." What a legend
    600K
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    The Dad
    @thedad
    Feb 14, 2023
    The people who Uber home from class are the same people telling me I'd be rich if I just stopped spending $300/week on coffee
    367K
  • user avatar
    The Dad
    @thedad
    Oct 15, 2018
    Forget astrology. The tagline of the #1 movie at the box office the day you were born, that determines your fate from now on
  • user avatar
    The Dad
    @thedad
    Nov 1, 2022
    6yo: I’m done, can I have ice cream? Me: Not until you’ve eaten all your food. 6yo: But I’m full Me: If you’re full, you don’t need ice cream 6yo: My stomach is full of food but ice cream will fill in all the cracks Me: 6yo: Me: I don’t know enough science to dispute that
  • user avatar
    The Dad
    @thedad
    Jan 2, 2023
    Replying to @fesshole
    You take that to your GRAVE
    205K
  • user avatar
    The Dad
    @thedad
    Nov 11, 2022
    My wife and I are starting an Escape Room franchise where groups of strangers have to get our 3 kids under age 5 dressed and out of the room in one hour
  • user avatar
    The Dad
    @thedad
    Aug 20, 2018
    God: what are they doing down there? Angel: they are making milk from almonds God: what?! I gave them, like, 8 animals to get milk from A: they dont like that milk God: [mockingly] tHey DonT LiKe THat miLk *flips a table*
  • user avatar
    The Dad
    @thedad
    Nov 6, 2019
    😏
    00:00
  • user avatar
    The Dad
    @thedad
    Aug 22, 2019
    Just saw this dad trying out mowers by pretending to hold a drink and yell at his kid to get out of the way 🤔
    00:00
  • user avatar
    The Dad
    @thedad
    Jan 3, 2014
    I love how Simba acts upset when Mufasa dies as if he didn't just do a choreographed musical number called "I Just Can't Wait To Be King".
  • user avatar
    The Dad
    @thedad
    Oct 7, 2018
    My parents used to tell me I played too many video games and I never realized until I had children of my own just how wrong they were. I played the right amount and as a result none of my kids can touch me when it comes to Super Smash Bro
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    The Dad
    @thedad
    Jan 6, 2019
    By the age of 30 you should have: A dog Anxiety A dog with anxiety