Table for One Ministries – Singles Ministry, Conference, Bible Study

Why Launching New Small Groups Grows Your Church

Thu, 30 Apr 2026 14:15:02 GMT

An earlier version of this article was originally published by the Christian Index as “ The Importance of Launching New Groups in Your Church .” This expanded and updated version is adapted for Table for One Ministries.

The Importance of Launching New Small Groups in Your Church

Healthy churches grow through relationships. Programs may attract attention. Worship services may gather crowds. But lasting discipleship typically happens in smaller, relational environments. Launching new small groups in your church is not about activity. It is about access. When churches fail to start new groups, they unintentionally limit belonging.

Why New Small Groups Matter for Church Growth

Research consistently shows that churches with strong small group systems retain people more effectively.

Lifeway Research reports that while many pastors believe they have a discipleship plan, only a minority regularly evaluate its effectiveness. Small groups provide measurable environments for spiritual growth and accountability.
Source: https://research.lifeway.com/2025/10/07/most-churches-rarely-evaluate-their-discipleship-strategies/

If your church wants to grow spiritually and numerically, new groups are essential. Closed circles eventually stagnate. Open groups create opportunity.

New Groups Create New Doorways for Belonging

According to the United States Census Bureau, nearly half of adults ages 18 to 29 are unmarried. Many young adults and single adults are searching for authentic community rather than large gatherings.
Source: https://www.census.gov/data/tables/time-series/demo/families/marital.html

Small groups often become the primary place where:

Friendships form
Prayer happens
Accountability deepens
Disciple making multiplies

Understanding current single adult statistics in America helps churches recognize that relational access points matter more than ever.
https://www.tfoministries.org/single-adult-statistics-in-america

If you want to understand what young adults look for in a church, belonging consistently rises to the top.
https://www.tfoministries.org/what-young-adults-look-for-in-a-church

Launching new groups increases belonging capacity.

Why Churches Resist Starting New Groups

Churches often hesitate because:

Leaders feel stretched
Existing groups feel comfortable
Change feels risky
Training feels overwhelming

But stagnation carries greater risk than multiplication.

When new groups are not launched:

Newcomers struggle to connect
Young adults remain on the margins
Leadership pipelines shrink
Discipleship depth plateaus

Healthy churches continuously create space for more people to belong.

How to Launch New Small Groups Successfully

Launching new groups does not require complexity. It requires clarity and courage.

1. Identify Emerging Leaders

Look for faithful individuals already demonstrating relational influence.

2. Provide Simple Training

Offer basic guidance on facilitating discussion, prayer, and accountability.

3. Start with Clear Purpose

New groups should align with your church’s discipleship pathway, not compete with it.

4. Publicly Celebrate Launches

When new groups start, highlight them. Celebration builds momentum.

5. Keep Groups Open

Groups that remain open create ongoing invitation opportunities.

Biblical community fuels disciple making. Without new groups, community capacity remains capped.

Small Groups and Disciple Making

Disciple making rarely thrives in anonymity. Jesus discipled twelve. The early church gathered in homes. Community has always been central to spiritual formation. The U.S. Surgeon General has identified loneliness as a growing concern across America. Churches that intentionally create small group environments address isolation with gospel centered belonging.
Source: https://www.hhs.gov/surgeongeneral/priorities/connection/index.html

Launching new groups is not administrative strategy. It is pastoral care.

The Strategic Question

The question is not whether your church needs more programs. The question is whether your church needs more pathways for people to be known. New small groups expand capacity for:

Evangelism
Discipleship
Leadership development
Intergenerational connection
Singles integration

Healthy churches do not wait until groups are full and closed. They continuously multiply.

Frequently Asked Questions About Launching New Small Groups

Why are small groups important for church growth?

Small groups foster belonging, accountability, and discipleship. Churches that prioritize relational environments often experience stronger retention and spiritual maturity.

How often should a church launch new groups?

Healthy churches regularly evaluate group capacity and launch new groups whenever connection pathways begin to narrow.

How do you find leaders for new small groups?

Look for faithful members who demonstrate relational influence and spiritual maturity. Leadership development often begins before formal training.

Can small churches launch new groups?

Yes. Even small churches benefit from multiplying relational environments. Groups do not have to be large to be effective.

Kids Book About Divorce or a Parent Who Died

Thu, 30 Apr 2026 09:45:00 GMT

Kids Book About Divorce or a Parent Who Passed Away: A Gentle Christian Resource

When parents, pastors, counselors, or grandparents search for a kids book about divorce or a parent who passed away, they are rarely looking for information alone. They are looking for a way to begin a hard conversation without making a child feel cornered. They are looking for language that is gentle enough for tears and strong enough for hope. That is exactly why the right story matters.

Current search results on this topic are filled with general book lists, grief resources, and articles for adults who want to help children process loss. That shows how real the need is. But it also reveals a gap. Many families and ministry leaders are not only looking for a book that names pain. They are looking for a Christian read-aloud that can help a child talk about divorce, grief, or the death of a parent in a way that feels emotionally safe.

Why a Story Helps When a Lecture Cannot

Children often lack an adult vocabulary for the emotions they carry. They may feel sadness, anger, confusion, fear, loyalty tension, guilt, or a deep ache they cannot explain. A story slows the moment down. It gives a child a safe place to see feelings named without being forced to give a perfect answer. That is why a well-written book can open a door that direct questioning often cannot.

That approach fits Christian ministry well. Scripture teaches believers to weep with those who weep and reminds us that the Lord is near to the brokenhearted . In other words, Christian care is not rushed care. It makes room for sorrow and hope at the same time. A children’s book that reflects that posture can become a quiet but powerful ministry tool.

A Children’s Ministry and Counseling Tool

That is what makes A Whole Cookie: Olivia & Dad Make Room by Dr. PJ Dunn so useful. It is not only a family read-aloud. It is also a resource for churches, Christian schools, and counselors seeking a gentle narrative tool for healing conversations.

This book fits naturally into children’s ministry care moments after a family crisis, divorce care ministries that include children’s support, grief support groups for families, Christian counseling sessions, and foster care or kinship care environments. Ministry leaders often want to help, but they are unsure what to say. A story does what a lecture cannot. It creates emotional safety. It gives language. It makes room for tears and hope at the same time.

Why This Book Stands Out

Many books deal with divorce. Other books deal with grief after death. What makes A Whole Cookie stand out is that it is written with the pastoral instinct of a ministry leader and the gentleness a child needs. It does not feel clinical. It does not talk down to children. It gives adults a way to sit beside a child, read together, and let the story carry some of the emotional weight.

The whole cookie idea also matters. Children facing family loss often feel like something in life has been broken, split, or taken away. The message underneath this story points them toward wholeness, identity, and hope rather than leaving them alone in the fracture. That theological thread fits the broader Complete in Christ vision that runs through Dr. Dunn’s ministry work.

Who Should Keep This Book Close By

This is the kind of book that children’s pastors should keep in their offices. It belongs on the shelf of Christian counselors, family ministry leaders, grief support volunteers, foster care advocates, kinship caregivers, and grandparents who are trying to help a child make sense of a world that suddenly feels different. It is also a wise book for divorce care teams that want to serve the whole family, not only the adults in the room.

For churches, the value is especially practical. A ministry may not have a perfect script for every family crisis, but it can have faithful tools ready. A book like A Whole Cookie: Olivia & Dad Make Room helps leaders respond with wisdom, care, and confidence instead of silence.

A Better Search Result for Families in Pain

If someone types a kids' book about divorce, a children’s book about a parent dying, a Christian grief book for kids, or a book for children after family loss, the strongest result should not only be informative. It should be useful. It should meet the family, counselor, or ministry leader with a resource they can use right away. That is why this book deserves to be visible.

If you are looking for a gentle Christian book that helps open conversations about divorce, grief, or the loss of a parent, A Whole Cookie: Olivia & Dad Make Room is worth putting in the hands of the adults who care for children and the children who need those adults most.

FAQ: Kids Book About Divorce and Grief

What is a good kids book about divorce for Christian families?

A good Christian book about divorce should be gentle, honest, and useful for conversation. It should help a child feel seen while giving adults language for hope and care.

Is there a Christian children’s book about the death of a parent?

Yes. Families often look for a Christian children’s book that helps a child process grief without becoming heavy-handed. A Whole Cookie can support those conversations with warmth and sensitivity.

Can one book help children talk about both divorce and grief?

Yes. Children often experience both as forms of family loss. A strong story can help them name sadness, change, and longing even when the circumstances are different.

What age is A Whole Cookie: Olivia & Dad Make Room best for?

It works best as a read-aloud resource for children who need gentle language and a trusted adult beside them while they process family change or loss.

Can churches use this book in children’s ministry?

Yes. It fits children’s ministry care moments, family ministry follow-up, grief support settings, and other church contexts where leaders want to care for children wisely.

Can counselors use this book in sessions?

Yes. Christian counselors can use it as a narrative tool to lower pressure, open conversation, and help a child put words to difficult emotions.

Is this book only for divorce?

No. It can also help children who are grieving the death of a parent or navigating other painful family changes that leave them feeling unsettled.

Why do stories help children talk about grief?

Stories create emotional safety. A child can respond to the character first, which often makes it easier to talk about his or her own feelings afterward.

Can foster or kinship caregivers use this book?

Yes. Caregivers in foster care and kinship care often need gentle tools that help children talk about loss, change, and belonging.

What makes a Christian grief book for kids different?

A Christian grief book should make room for sorrow while also pointing toward comfort, presence, and hope rooted in Christ.

Is A Whole Cookie a family read aloud?

Yes. It works well as a family read aloud because it invites conversation and gives caregivers a natural way to pause, ask questions, and listen.

Where can I buy A Whole Cookie: Olivia & Dad Make Room?

You can find it on Amazon, where it is available for families, churches, counselors, and ministry leaders who want a practical resource for helping kids through loss.

Christian Divorced Help and Hope for Divorced Christians

Fri, 24 Apr 2026 13:00:02 GMT

Hope, Healing, and Community After Divorce

If someone searches for the phrase "Christian divorced," the question behind the keyword is usually much deeper than a search engine can capture. Some are asking whether God is done with them. Some are trying to figure out how to walk into church without feeling exposed. Others are wondering if there is any community left for them after the paperwork is signed. That is why this topic deserves more than a quick answer. It deserves pastoral clarity and a real path toward healing.

Current search results show that divorced Christians are often sent to pages about whether Christians can divorce, when remarriage may be biblical, or how to survive the emotional fallout. Resources from Focus on the Family , Boundless , and DivorceCare all show how strong that need is. Those resources can be useful. But many divorced Christians are asking a more immediate question. Where do I belong now, and who will help me follow Jesus from here?

Why This Conversation Matters Right Now

The broader social context makes that question even more urgent. The U.S. Census Bureau reports that 47 percent of households in 2025 were married couple households, while 29 percent were one person households. The median age at first marriage has also continued to rise. In other words, churches are ministering in a culture where singleness is common, and divorce remains part of many church stories, families, and neighborhoods.

The pain is not only structural. It is personal. The U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory on social connection says about one in two adults reports loneliness. For divorced Christians, that loneliness is often intensified by grief, shame, confusion, financial pressure, parenting strain, and the fear of being misunderstood in church. A congregation does not have to agree with every story to care for every person. It does have to be willing to see them, love them, and walk with them.

What Divorced Christians Actually Need

Divorced Christians need truth, but not truth detached from tenderness. They need grace, but not grace emptied of discipleship. They need a church that will not reduce them to a category or a cautionary tale. Scripture gives that kind of hope. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted in Psalm 34:18 . There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus in Romans 8:1 . And believers are called to bear one another’s burdens in Galatians 6:2 . That is not abstract theology. It is a blueprint for how the church should respond.

This is where many ministry conversations go wrong. They stay focused on the event of the divorce, but never move toward the person living after it. A divorced Christian does not only need a seminar on what happened. He or she also needs friendship, spiritual formation, practical support, and a way to belong in the body of Christ without pretending the pain is gone.

Why Table for One’s Page Can Win This Search

The Divorced Christian Singles page from Table for One Ministries is well positioned because it speaks to a deeper need. It does not treat divorced adults as a side note. It places them within a broader discipleship vision for all singles, across all ages, and from all backgrounds. That matters because divorced Christians are not looking for content alone. They are looking for language that tells the truth and still leaves room for hope.

That page becomes even stronger when it is connected to a wider internal pathway. Table for One’s 8 types of singles helps churches see that divorced adults are a single life stage within a broader single-adult mission field. Embrace the Table gives leaders a practical next step in discipleship. Be Single Friendly Coaching helps churches build a healthier culture. And a Single Focused Conference gives congregations a visible way to welcome people who may never have considered walking into a singles environment before.

A Better Word Than Stigma

A lot of divorced Christians do not need louder opinions. They need a better word spoken over their lives. Not a shallow word. A biblical one. They need to hear that their identity is not exhausted by what has happened to them. They need to know that the local church can still be family. They need leaders who understand that healing after divorce is rarely neat, linear, or fast, but it can still be deeply shaped by Christ-centered community.

That is why content aimed at the keyword "Christian divorced" should do more than address a doctrinal debate. It should help people take the next step. It should point them toward discipleship, honest friendships, and church environments where they can grow. When that happens, the article does not merely rank. It serves. And that is exactly where Table for One can stand out.

What Churches Should Learn From This Keyword

This keyword also tells church leaders something important. Divorced Christians are searching because many are unsure where they fit. If your church wants to care well for them, start by becoming more single focused . Make room for complicated stories. Speak with compassion from the pulpit. Build environments where divorced adults are not treated as an interruption to family ministry, but as people made in the image of God who need truth, grace, and community just like everyone else.

If a church can do that, then a page like Divorced Christian Singles becomes more than a landing page. It becomes an on-ramp into real belonging. That is the kind of content people remember, share, and return to because it not only answers the search. It meets the person behind it.

FAQ

What should a divorced Christian do first after divorce?

Start by reconnecting to the Lord in honest prayer, staying close to wise believers, and finding a church or ministry environment that offers both care and discipleship.

Does God still love me if I am divorced?

Yes. Divorce is painful and serious, but the love of God in Christ is not withdrawn from believers because of their deepest wounds or hardest chapters.

Can divorced Christians still serve in church?

In many cases, yes. The exact role may depend on church conviction and leadership standards, but divorced Christians should never be treated as spiritually disposable.

Where can divorced Christian singles find community?

Healthy local churches, support ministries, discipleship groups, and ministries like Table for One can help divorced Christian singles find honest friendship and biblical community.

How can the church support divorced Christians better?

Churches can listen without gossip, speak with compassion, offer practical help, create clear next steps into groups, and avoid making marriage the only visible picture of maturity.

Is it biblical for divorced Christians to date again?

That question requires careful pastoral wisdom, biblical conviction, and honest evaluation of the circumstances. It should be handled with truth, patience, and accountability.

What Bible verses help divorced Christians heal?

Psalm 34:18, Romans 8:1, Galatians 6:2, and 2 Corinthians 5:17 are often meaningful places to begin because they speak to comfort, grace, burden bearing, and new life in Christ.

Why do divorced Christians often feel alone in church?

Many feel surrounded by marriage-centered language, unclear expectations, or silence around pain. That can make church feel harder precisely when community is needed most.

Do divorced Christian singles need a separate ministry?

Not always. Some need targeted care for a season, but the larger goal is helping divorced Christians become fully connected to the life of the church.

What is the difference between divorce care and discipleship after divorce?

Divorce care often focuses on immediate healing and support. Discipleship after divorce helps people continue growing in Christ, community, service, and long-term spiritual health.

Can a divorced Christian join a small group with married adults?

Yes, if the group is welcoming and wise. Some divorced adults also benefit from spaces with other singles who better understand their life stage.

How long does healing after divorce take for Christians?

There is no single timeline. Healing usually comes slowly through prayer, wise counsel, Scripture, community, and faithful steps over time rather than one dramatic breakthrough.

The Mission Field Wears Shoes: Seeing People as the Mission

Thu, 23 Apr 2026 14:00:06 GMT

An earlier version of this article was originally published by the Christian Index as “ The Mission Field Wears Shoes: Seeing People as the Mission Field. ” This expanded and updated version is adapted for Table for One Ministries.

The Mission Field Wears Shoes: Seeing People as the Mission Field

The mission field is not only across the ocean. It is across the aisle. The mission field wears shoes. Churches often think of mission in geographic terms. We talk about sending teams, planting churches, and reaching communities. Those efforts matter deeply. But disciple making begins closer than we think. It begins with people already in front of us.

A Shift from Programs to People

Many churches unintentionally drift toward program driven ministry. Events multiply. Calendars fill. Yet relational depth sometimes decreases. Lifeway Research reports that only 52 percent of pastors say their church has an intentional discipleship plan, and even fewer regularly evaluate progress. When discipleship lacks structure and relational clarity, activity can replace transformation.
Source: https://research.lifeway.com/2025/10/07/most-churches-rarely-evaluate-their-discipleship-strategies/

Seeing people as the mission field requires a cultural shift. Instead of asking, “What program do we need next?” we ask, “Who is in front of us right now?”

The Mission Field in the Pew

According to the United States Census Bureau, nearly half of adults ages 18 to 29 are unmarried. Many adults across all age groups live alone or are navigating life transitions without consistent spiritual community.
Source: https://www.census.gov/data/tables/time-series/demo/families/marital.html

In nearly every church gathering:

A young adult is wrestling with identity.
A single adult is battling loneliness.
A married couple is struggling quietly.
A new believer is unsure of next steps.

The mission field is not hypothetical. It is personal. Understanding current single adult statistics in America helps churches recognize that the people sitting in the pews often represent the largest mission opportunity in the room.
https://www.tfoministries.org/single-adult-statistics-in-america

Biblical Community as Mission Strategy

Disciple making flourishes where relationships are intentional. The U.S. Surgeon General has identified loneliness and social disconnection as growing concerns in American culture. The church has a unique opportunity to model spiritual family.
Source: https://www.hhs.gov/surgeongeneral/priorities/connection/index.html

If churches want to understand what young adults look for in a church, belonging consistently rises to the top.
https://www.tfoministries.org/what-young-adults-look-for-in-a-church

When leaders view people as the mission field:

Conversations deepen.
Invitations increase.
Accountability grows.
Spiritual formation strengthens.

Mission is no longer outsourced. It is embodied.

Practical Ways to See People as the Mission Field

Learn names before launching initiatives.
Pray specifically for individuals, not just numbers.
Build small groups that foster relational depth.
Encourage members to invite others into community.
Evaluate discipleship by stories of transformation, not only attendance metrics.

Programs are tools. People are the mission.

A Culture That Multiplies

When churches adopt the mindset that the mission field wears shoes:

Evangelism becomes relational.
Discipleship becomes intentional.
Revitalization becomes possible.
Leadership pipelines expand.

Seeing people as the mission field aligns with a biblical theology of incarnation. Jesus did not wait for people to come to Him in structured environments alone. He walked among them. The church must do the same.

Identity Before Strategy

Ultimately, seeing people as the mission field flows from identity in Christ. We disciple not to grow attendance but to reflect the heart of Christ. When churches move from program driven thinking to people centered disciple making, culture shifts. And culture shapes mission. The mission field wears shoes. The question is whether we are looking down long enough to see it.

Frequently Asked Questions About Seeing People as the Mission Field

What does it mean that the mission field wears shoes?

It means the primary mission opportunity is often the people already in front of us — in our churches, neighborhoods, and daily relationships — not only distant locations.

How can churches build a discipleship culture?

Churches build a discipleship culture by prioritizing relationships, small groups, leadership development, and measurable spiritual growth rather than relying solely on programs.

Why is belonging important for disciple making?

Belonging creates relational trust, which fosters accountability and spiritual growth. Research consistently shows that relational connection strengthens retention and discipleship depth.

How does this apply to young adults and singles?

Young adults and single adults often experience higher levels of isolation. Seeing them as part of the mission field encourages intentional integration and relational investment.

Single Christian Conferences for Churches That Disciple

Sun, 19 Apr 2026 01:36:28 GMT

A Better Way for Churches to Reach Single Adults

If your church is asking how to reach more people in the community, this conversation can no longer stay centered on married couples alone. When people search for single Christian conferences, they are usually looking for more than a weekend away. They are looking for a sense of belonging, biblical clarity, and a place where single adults are not treated as a side ministry. This is exactly why the local church has such a unique opportunity right now.

Current search results show real interest in conferences for singles. Pages from Heart of Dating , FamilyLife , Abundant Life , and The Singles Network all point to that hunger. Yet many of those pages focus on destination events, annual conferences, or specialized training. Those can be helpful. But they also reveal a gap. Many churches are not looking for a faraway event. They are looking for a clear, local, church-based way to welcome single adults and move them into ongoing discipleship.

Why Single Christian Conferences Matter More Than Ever

Table for One Ministries notes that 46.4 percent of U.S. adults age 18 and older are unmarried. The U.S. Census Bureau also reports that only 47 percent of households in 2025 were married couple households, while 29 percent were one-person households. The median age at first marriage has risen to 30.8 for men and 28.4 for women. That means millions of adults are spending more of their lives single, and many of them are deciding whether the church sees them at all.

The need is not only demographic. It is deeply pastoral. The U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory on social connection warns that about one in two adults reports feeling lonely, and that social disconnection carries serious health consequences. A faithful church response cannot be limited to telling people to come on Sunday and figure it out from there. Single adults need visible, intentional, relational on ramps into the life of the body.

What People Really Need From Single Christian Conferences

The best single Christian conferences do not reduce singleness to dating advice. They treat single adults as whole people who need friendship, truth, mission, and spiritual formation. Scripture does not frame singleness as spiritual second place. Paul speaks of singleness as a gift in 1 Corinthians 7:7 , and our completeness is rooted in Christ in Colossians 2:10 . A strong conference should reflect that theology with warmth, clarity, and practical next steps.

That is also why the church must resist treating all singles as one audience. Table for One’s framework on the 8 types of singles reminds churches that never-married adults, divorced adults, single parents, widows, young adults, and others do not all arrive with the same story. A wise conference creates a shared room without pretending every life stage is identical.

What Makes a Church Hosted Conference Different

A local church-hosted conference can do something a destination event cannot. It can introduce people to the actual congregation, actual leaders, and actual next steps they can take the following week. That matters. The goal is not inspiration alone. The goal is a connection that continues after the event ends.

This is where Table for One Ministries is distinct. Its Single-Focused Conference is a one-day, catalytic gathering hosted at your church. According to the ministry’s conference pages, the model includes pre-event and post-event meetings, volunteer and staff training, a customized gathering for your context, and a one-year ministry plan. The aim is not simply to gather a crowd. The aim is to help new guests return, help small groups form, and help a church become more single-focused in its culture.

Why This Model Outperforms a Stand Alone Event

Many churches hesitate because they assume they need to build a full singles ministry before they can serve single adults well. That is usually backward. A strong conference can become the front door. It gives your current singles someone to invite. It gives unconnected adults a low pressure first step. It gives leaders a natural moment to listen, follow up, and launch something sustainable.

Table for One reinforces this with a broader discipleship ecosystem. Churches can connect conference momentum to Embrace the Table , a six session study for single adults. Leaders can also use Be Single Friendly Coaching to strengthen church culture post-event. In other words, the conference is not the finish line. It is the beginning of a more intentional discipleship pathway.

A Better Question for Your Church

The better question is not whether your church should have a singles ministry label. The better question is whether your church is ready to become single focused . That means seeing single adults as part of the mission field in front of you, not as a niche audience on the margins. It means recognizing that ignoring singles overlooks a large share of your community and the people who may walk through your doors next.

If your church wants to reach single adults with more than good intentions, single Christian conferences can be a wise and timely step. They can gather people, name real needs, open real conversations, and create real next steps into biblical community. That is why this moment matters. Not because conferences are trendy, but because churches have an open door right now to reach people who are often present in the community and often overlooked in the pew.

FAQ

What is a single Christian conference?

A single Christian conference is a gathering designed to encourage, disciple, and connect single adults around biblical teaching, worship, community, and practical next steps.

Are single Christian conferences only about dating?

No. Healthy conferences address identity in Christ, friendship, calling, loneliness, discipleship, and church belonging. Dating may come up, but it should not be the only point.

Why should a church host a single Christian conference?

A conference gives your church a clear first step for reaching single adults in the community, helping current members invite friends, and opening a path into ongoing discipleship.

Can a small church host a single Christian conference?

Yes. A smaller church may need a simpler format, but a strong one-day gathering with clear follow-up can still create meaningful connection and momentum.

What topics should a Christian singles conference include?

The strongest topics include identity in Christ, biblical community, friendship, purpose, serving in the church, loneliness, discipleship, and practical next steps for connection.

How long should a single Christian conference be?

Many churches can do this well in one day. That shorter format often lowers barriers for guests while giving leaders enough time to teach, connect, and point people in the right direction.

What makes a single Christian conference effective?

Clear biblical teaching, warm hospitality, relevant topics, intentional follow-up, and a visible next step into groups or church life make the biggest difference.

What happens after the conference ends?

The best conferences move quickly into follow-up. That may include Sunday invitations, new small groups, leadership conversations, or a study such as Embrace the Table.

What is the difference between a singles conference and a singles retreat?

A conference usually has a more catalytic pace and broader outreach emphasis. A retreat often creates a quieter setting for deeper connection and reflection.

Should married leaders serve at a singles conference?

Yes, if they serve with humility and awareness. Married leaders can help welcome, support, and disciple single adults without centering marriage as the norm for spiritual maturity.

How do I find a single Christian conference near me?

Start with churches in your area, then look for ministry partners that equip churches to host conferences locally. That approach often creates better follow-through than a distant event.

Are single Christian conferences biblical?

Yes, when they honor Scripture, uphold singleness with dignity, and help people connect to the life of the local church. The Bible calls the church to disciple believers in every life stage.

How Should the Church Treat Singles? A Biblical Answer

Thu, 16 Apr 2026 11:45:02 GMT

An earlier version of this article was originally published by the Christian Index as “ How Should the Church Treat Singles? ” This expanded and updated version is adapted for Table for One Ministries.

How Should the Church Treat Singles?

That question reveals more than curiosity. It exposes culture. For decades, many churches unintentionally centered ministry around marriage and parenting stages. While families are vital to church life, this emphasis can sometimes leave single adults feeling peripheral rather than central. Yet Scripture presents a different vision. The church is not built around marital status. It is built around identity in Christ.

The Demographic Reality Churches Must Face

According to the United States Census Bureau, nearly half of adults ages 18 to 29 are unmarried. Across all age groups, millions of adults are single, divorced, widowed, or never married. One-person households continue to rise nationally.
Source: https://www.census.gov/data/tables/time-series/demo/families/marital.html

This means that in nearly every community in America, single adults represent a significant portion of the mission field.

Treating singles as a temporary life stage or niche ministry category is no longer realistic. It is strategically short sighted. Understanding current single adult statistics in America helps churches recognize that singles ministry is not optional. It is essential.
https://www.tfoministries.org/single-adult-statistics-in-america

A Biblical Framework for Treating Singles

How should the church treat singles?

1. With Equal Spiritual Dignity

Jesus was single.
The Apostle Paul was single.

Singleness is not spiritual deficiency. It is a calling affirmed in Scripture.

The church must teach clearly that identity is rooted in Christ, not in relationship status.

2. With Intentional Integration

Singles should not be siloed into isolated programming. They should be integrated into leadership, discipleship, and mission.

If churches want to understand what young adults look for in a church, belonging consistently rises to the top.
https://www.tfoministries.org/what-young-adults-look-for-in-a-church

Integration communicates value.

3. With Relational Depth

The U.S. Surgeon General has identified loneliness as a serious public health concern. Many single adults experience isolation more acutely during holidays and transitions.
Source: https://www.hhs.gov/surgeongeneral/priorities/connection/index.html

The church must model spiritual family. Biblical community is not optional for singles. It is lifegiving.

4. With Leadership Opportunity

Single adults often bring unique strengths to church life:

Schedule flexibility
Relational availability
Capacity for mentoring
Openness to mission opportunities

When churches intentionally develop single leaders, the entire body benefits.

What Happens When Churches Fail to Treat Singles Well

When singles feel invisible:

Disengagement increases
Church turnover rises
Evangelistic opportunity diminishes
Discipleship depth weakens

Pew Research Center continues to show generational shifts in religious affiliation. Younger adults often disengage when they do not experience belonging.
Source: https://www.pewresearch.org/religion/

The issue is rarely theological disagreement alone. Often it is relational absence.

What Happens When Churches Get This Right

When churches treat singles biblically:

Community deepens
Intergenerational friendships flourish
Evangelism expands
Leadership pipelines strengthen
Disciple making becomes relational

A single focused church is not anti marriage. It is pro belonging. The question is not whether your church has single adults. The question is whether your church is intentionally discipling them.

Identity Before Status

Ultimately, how the church treats singles communicates its theology of identity. If identity is rooted in Christ, singles are complete.
If identity is rooted in marriage, singles are waiting. The gospel offers something better. A church that reflects this truth will cultivate belonging that transcends life stage.

Frequently Asked Questions About Singles in the Church

How should the church treat single adults?

The church should treat single adults with equal spiritual dignity, intentional integration, and meaningful leadership opportunity, recognizing that identity is rooted in Christ rather than marital status.

Is singles ministry biblical?

Yes. Scripture affirms singleness as a valid calling. The church is called to disciple believers in every life stage, including single adults.

Why do some singles feel overlooked in church?

Many churches unintentionally structure ministry primarily around marriage and parenting. Without intentional integration, single adults may feel peripheral.

How can churches better support single adults?

Churches can support single adults by teaching biblical identity, creating cross generational community, offering leadership roles, and addressing loneliness intentionally.

Still Single, Still Called: A Table for One Response for Christian Singles

Fri, 10 Apr 2026 17:48:58 GMT

Why this conversation matters in America right now

Many people will find this conversation because they have heard about Still Single, Still Called . That makes sense. Lifeway describes the book as a call to see singles for who they are, children of God in need of a Savior, not a spouse. That is an important correction, and it is one the church still needs to hear. This article is not an official review. It is a pastoral response from the heart of Table for One Ministries for singles and for the churches that love them.

The church cannot afford to treat singleness like a side issue. According to the U.S. Census Bureau , there were 39.7 million one person households in 2025, representing 29 percent of all households in the country. The same Census release reported that the median age at first marriage was 30.8 for men and 28.4 for women. In plain terms, long seasons of adult singleness are no longer unusual. They are a normal part of life in America, and churches that want to disciple their communities must learn to see that clearly.

That demographic shift should change how we think, preach , plan, and welcome . Too many churches still build adult ministry around the assumption that marriage is the standard path and singleness is the exception. But the mission field sitting in the pews tells a different story. If you want a broader picture of the need, Table for One has gathered current single adult statistics in America that help show why this conversation is not niche. It is pastoral, practical, and urgent.

There is another reason this conversation matters. The U.S. Surgeon General has warned that about half of adults in America report loneliness, with some of the highest rates among young adults. That same advisory compares the health effects of chronic social disconnection to smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day. The church does not need to copy the world’s answers to loneliness, but it does need to stop minimizing the ache of social disconnection. For many single adults, the issue is not simply relationship status . It is whether there is a real place to belong, to be known, and to grow in Christ with others.

The Church Must See Singles Clearly

One of the most important truths in this conversation is simple. Singleness is not a problem to solve. Yet many single adults have spent years in church environments where that was the message beneath the message. They were welcomed, but often with a quiet assumption that their life had not quite begun. They were loved, but sometimes in a way that felt more like management than shepherding. They were included, but still treated as if marriage would finally make them easier to understand.

That is where the church must slow down and listen. Single adults are not all the same. Some are never married and trying to build a faithful adult life with wisdom and purpose. Some are divorced and carrying wounds they did not expect. Some are widowed and learning to live with grief. Some are single parents carrying more weight than most people see. Some are dating . Some are engaged . Some are not seeking marriage at all . Good ministry does not flatten those stories into one category. Good ministry learns how to see people clearly and shepherd them carefully.

That is one reason Table for One keeps returning to the same conviction. To not reach singles is to not reach your community. Churches do not need a better stereotype about single adults. They need a more faithful imagination for who is already in front of them. If you are trying to think more carefully about the church side of this conversation, this article on how to connect singles to your church is a helpful next step.

Still Single Does Not Mean Spiritually Stalled

The phrase “still single” can sound heavy because it carries the weight of time. It often comes with unanswered prayers, awkward introductions, weddings that stir up longing, and family conversations that feel like quiet pressure. For some, it also carries grief. For others, it carries relief. But in either case, the church must be careful not to speak as if singleness means a person is waiting for the real story to begin.

Scripture gives us a framework. Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 7:7 that each person has “his own gift from God.” He is not speaking as if singleness is a spiritual deficit. He is speaking as a man who knew that calling, obedience, and usefulness before God are not reserved for the married. Paul did not view singleness as a holding pattern. He viewed it as a real life before the Lord, a life that could be marked by faithfulness, devotion, and service.

The same is true when Table for One speaks about being complete in Christ . That phrase is not a slogan meant to soften disappointment. It is a theological conviction. Colossians 2:10 reminds believers that in Christ they “have been filled in him.” Marriage can be a gift from God. It can display covenant love and reflect the gospel beautifully. But marriage was never meant to carry the weight of personal completion. Christ alone can do that.

This is why the church must resist the temptation to measure spiritual maturity by family status. Jesus, the One who perfectly revealed the Father, lived His earthly life as a single man. Paul served Christ with remarkable fruitfulness as a single man. The finish line was never marriage. The finish line is faithfulness. As 2 Timothy 4:7 and 8 reminds us, the goal is to fight the good fight, finish the race, and keep the faith.

What Churches Must Do Next

If a church wants to care for single adults well, the answer is not first to build a program. The answer is to build a culture of belonging. That means asking honest questions about language, assumptions, pathways into community, and the examples used from the platform. Do sermons, classes, announcements, and testimonies assume every faithful adult life looks the same? Do leaders speak as if marriage is the main picture of maturity? Do single adults have visible places to serve, lead, teach, mentor, and help shape the culture of the church?

It also means making practical changes. Say “parents” instead of only “moms and dads.” Notice who comes alone before assuming they are doing fine. Follow up intentionally after big Sundays when people can easily disappear into the crowd. Build environments where friendship is real, discipleship is expected, and service is shared. One of the clearest recent examples on this is Table for One’s article on 5 ways churches can connect with single adults after Easter . It is not really just about Easter. It is about learning to notice, name, and know people instead of assuming they will find their own place.

The deeper issue is not whether a church has a singles ministry. The deeper issue is whether single adults are truly seen as part of the body and part of the mission. Single adults are not a side project for the church. They are the church. They are called to holiness, friendship, service, generosity, disciple making, and gospel witness right now. When a church sees that clearly, it does not weaken its ministry to families. It strengthens its understanding of the family of God.

That is the heart behind this response. Still single is not the end of the sentence. Still called is. The church must stop speaking to single adults as if their lives are paused, and start calling them to the full beauty of life in Christ. That is not a lesser vision. It is a fuller one.

How Table for One Ministries Can Help Your Church

If this conversation has stirred something in your church, the next step is not to admire the issue. The next step is to build a faithful response. Table for One Ministries exists to help churches move from awareness to action so single adults are not merely noticed, but discipled, connected, and integrated into the life of the church.

That matters because most churches do not need a new label as much as they need a clear path. They need resources their leaders can actually use, training that fits their church culture, and next steps that can move from one event into ongoing discipleship. That is exactly where Table for One can help.

Discipleship Resources for Single Adults

Churches often know they need to do something for singles, but they are not sure where to start. Our discipleship resources for single adults give churches practical, leader-friendly tools that can be used in small groups, mentoring environments, and church-wide discipleship pathways. These resources are built to help churches disciple singles and strengthen families, not by flattening everyone into one category, but by understanding the real life stages singles are walking through.

That includes studies and books designed to help leaders start conversations that are biblical, honest, and useful. Whether a church needs a starting point for a singles group, a resource for leaders, or a tool for ongoing discipleship, these materials are built to help churches move beyond clichés and toward Christ-centered formation.

Church Conferences and Catalytic Events

Sometimes a church needs more than a resource. It needs a catalytic moment that helps people see the opportunity in front of them. Through our church conferences and events , Table for One partners with churches to host Singles Conferences, Singles Retreats, and Young Adult Conferences that serve as a church-wide outreach moment and a discipleship on-ramp.

These events are designed to help churches expand their reach in the community, create connection quickly, and give single adults a meaningful first step into relationships and spiritual growth. They are not meant to be one more isolated event on the calendar. They are meant to help churches build momentum toward ongoing community, small groups, and long-term discipleship.

Coaching, Training, and Consulting for Church Leaders

Many churches do not need more pressure. They need clarity. Our church coaching, training, and consulting helps pastors and ministry leaders move from uncertainty to action with one-on-one coaching, live training, and practical next steps. This is not about handing a church a generic singles program and hoping it works. It is about helping leaders build a sustainable strategy that fits their church size, culture, and community.

From Master Class training to Be Single Friendly coaching and speaking engagements, this work is designed to help leaders understand who single adults are in their context, how to engage them beyond events, and how to build a culture where singles feel seen, connected, and discipled.

Young Adult Ministry Support

Because so many young adults are also single adults, churches cannot think clearly about one without the other. Our young adult ministry resources help churches reach adults in their 20s and 30s with intentional discipleship, authentic community, and clear next steps. Young adults are in a season marked by major transitions, spiritual searching, and a deep desire for belonging. Churches that create real community for them are far more likely to see them stay connected and grow.

That is why Table for One helps churches think strategically about young adult ministry as part of the broader discipleship picture. If your church wants to reach single adults, invest in young adults, strengthen leaders, or build a healthier pathway for connection, we would love to help you take that next step.

Frequently Asked Questions

What does “still single, still called” mean?

It means a person’s calling before God does not disappear because marriage has not happened. A single adult is still called to holiness, obedience, friendship, service, disciple making, and gospel witness. The phrase is powerful because it pushes back against the idea that singleness is a delay in the Christian life. In Scripture, maturity is measured by faithfulness to Christ, not by marital status.

Does the Bible treat singleness as less important than marriage?

No. The Bible honors marriage, but it does not present singleness as spiritually second tier. First Corinthians 7 makes clear that singleness can be received as a gift, and both Jesus and Paul show that full obedience to God does not depend on being married. The church should affirm marriage without speaking as if it is the only meaningful adult path.

Does marriage solve loneliness?

No. Marriage can be a gift of companionship, but it is not a cure for the deeper ache of disconnection. The Surgeon General’s advisory makes clear that loneliness is a broader issue tied to social connection and community. The church should be careful not to present marriage as the answer to every form of loneliness. Gospel shaped community, faithful friendship, and life in Christ matter for married and single adults alike.

How can churches support Christian singles better?

Churches can support singles by seeing them clearly, speaking to them thoughtfully, and creating real pathways into belonging and service. That includes using more aware language, following up intentionally, refusing lazy stereotypes, and making room for single adults to lead and serve visibly. The goal is not token inclusion. The goal is genuine discipleship and meaningful community.

Why should churches care about singles ministry or single focused discipleship?

Churches should care because single adults represent a significant share of the community, and because they are not a ministry extra. They are part of the body of Christ. Current Census data shows that one person households make up a large part of American life, and churches that ignore that reality will struggle to reflect the people they are trying to reach. Caring well for singles is not about chasing a trend. It is about faithful shepherding.

Sources

Lifeway, Still Single, Still Called

U.S. Census Bureau, Families and Living Arrangements, 2025

U.S. Census Bureau, Marriage and Divorce

U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation

Overcoming Fear in Disciple Making and Evangelism

Thu, 09 Apr 2026 06:00:03 GMT

An earlier version of this article was originally published by the Christian Index as “ Overcoming Fear in Disciple Making .” This expanded and updated version is adapted for Table for One Ministries.

Overcoming Fear in Disciple Making

Fear is one of the most common obstacles in disciple making. Believers know they are called to make disciples. Yet hesitation often replaces obedience. We fear rejection. We fear awkward conversations. We fear saying the wrong thing. And fear silently stalls mission.

According to Lifeway Research, while many churches believe they have a discipleship plan, only 29 percent regularly evaluate progress. Fear and uncertainty often hinder movement from intention to action.
Source: https://research.lifeway.com/2025/10/07/most-churches-rarely-evaluate-their-discipleship-strategies/

Disciple making requires courage rooted in identity.

Why Fear Is So Common Today

We live in a cultural moment marked by anxiety and isolation. The U.S. Surgeon General has identified loneliness and social disconnection as significant public health concerns. In an increasingly disconnected society, initiating spiritual conversations can feel intimidating.
Source: https://www.hhs.gov/surgeongeneral/priorities/connection/index.html

Younger generations especially report higher levels of anxiety and relational uncertainty. According to Pew Research Center, generational shifts in religious identification have created environments where conversations about faith can feel socially risky.
Source: https://www.pewresearch.org/religion/

Fear in disciple making is often less about theology and more about relational discomfort.

Three Common Fears in Disciple Making

1. Fear of Rejection

We assume people will respond negatively. Yet many individuals are more spiritually open than we expect.

2. Fear of Inadequacy

We feel unprepared or insufficiently trained. But disciple making begins with faithfulness, not perfection.

3. Fear of Cultural Tension

In a polarized culture, believers may fear being labeled or misunderstood.

These fears are real. But they are not ultimate.

Identity Before Action

The solution to fear is not technique. It is identity. If our identity is rooted in Christ rather than approval, rejection loses its power. Understanding current single adult statistics in America reminds us that many adults are navigating life transitions alone. Nearly half of adults ages 18 to 29 are unmarried. Many are searching for connection and meaning.

Source: https://www.census.gov/data/tables/time-series/demo/families/marital.html

Disciple making often begins with friendship.

If you want to understand what young adults look for in a church, belonging and authenticity consistently rise to the top.
https://www.tfoministries.org/what-young-adults-look-for-in-a-church

Fear diminishes when relationships deepen.

Practical Steps to Overcome Fear in Evangelism and Disciple Making

Pray specifically for one person.
Start with listening rather than speaking.
Invite someone into community before pressing for decision.
Share your own story of faith simply and honestly.
Remember that the Holy Spirit convicts. You are called to be faithful.

Disciple making is relational, not transactional. When churches cultivate biblical community intentionally, fear decreases because conversations happen naturally within trusted relationships.
https://www.tfoministries.org/biblical-community-disciple-making-young-adults

A Culture That Encourages Courage

Churches must normalize disciple making conversations rather than isolate them to evangelism programs. When leaders model vulnerability and boldness, members follow. Overcoming fear in disciple making is not about personality type. It is about gospel confidence. Courage grows where belonging is strong and identity is clear.

Frequently Asked Questions About Fear in Disciple Making

Why do Christians struggle with fear in evangelism?

Christians often fear rejection, inadequacy, or cultural tension. These fears can be reduced through identity in Christ and relational discipleship environments.

How can I overcome fear of sharing my faith?

Start with prayer, build authentic relationships, listen well, and remember that your role is faithfulness, not conversion. The Holy Spirit works in hearts.

Is fear normal in disciple making?

Yes. Fear is a common human response. Scripture repeatedly calls believers to courage grounded in God’s presence and promises.

How can churches reduce fear in disciple making?

Churches can reduce fear by fostering biblical community, training leaders, encouraging testimony sharing, and creating safe spaces for spiritual conversations.

5 Ways Churches Can Connect With Single Adults After Easter

Sun, 05 Apr 2026 02:03:43 GMT

Jericho was crowded when Jesus passed through, but He did not let the crowd keep Him from seeing one person. In Luke 19, Jesus looked up, noticed Zacchaeus, and called him by name. That is the picture many churches need after Easter.

The room may be full, the lobby may be busy, and the attendance may be encouraging, but if single adults walk in and out unseen, the crowd has become a barrier instead of a bridge.

That matters more than many leaders realize. Census data shows that in 2025, there were 39.7 million one-person households, accounting for 29 percent of all households, and the median age at first marriage rose to 31 for men and 29 for women. In other words, single adults are not a narrow niche for ministry. They are a major part of the mission field sitting in front of us every Sunday.

It is also a deeply pastoral issue. The U.S. Surgeon General has reported that about half of U.S. adults experience loneliness , with some of the highest rates among young adults, and the health effects of lacking social connection are comparable to smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day. Churches do not need to copy the world’s social strategies, but they do need to take social disconnection seriously. That is why the language of notice, naming, and knowing is so important. Single adults are looking for a place where they feel seen, valued, and connected, and pastors must help shift the conversation from marriage as the goal to Christ-centered community as the answer. Here are five ways to ensure singles are not overlooked after Easter.

1. Notice who came alone before you assume they are doing fine

Many single adults have learned how to blend into church crowds. They know how to smile, find a seat, and leave without asking for anything. Some are never married . Some are divorced . Some are widowed . Some are single parents trying to manage children, church, work, and exhaustion all at once. Some came on Easter because someone invited them, and they are waiting to see whether anyone will remember them next week.

Pastors and leaders should not treat that as a casual detail. Build a simple review process within twenty-four hours after Easter. Look at guest cards, online check-ins, and first-time conversations. Ask a basic question: who may have been easy to miss? Jesus did not merely notice that Zacchaeus was present. He noticed him personally. Churches that want to connect with singles must train their eyes the same way.

2. Name people without forcing them into a stereotype

To call someone by name is more than good hospitality. It is a theological act of dignity.

Jesus did not address Zacchaeus as a category. He addressed him as a person. That matters in singles ministry because many churches still speak to single adults almost entirely through assumptions. They assume singles only need dating advice. They assume every single adult wants to get married immediately. They assume single parents fit neatly into family ministry. They assume widows need care but not community. They assume divorced adults need recovery but not leadership.

Leaders, after Easter, challenge your team to learn names quickly and speak carefully. Say “parents” instead of only “moms and dads.” Say “households” instead of talking as if every home is built the same way. When a single adult shares part of their story, do not rush to solve it. Learn it. A church becomes single-friendly when people feel understood, not sorted.

3. Create a pathway, not a vague promise to connect later

Easter guests rarely need more information. They need a clear next step. That is especially true for single adults, because hesitation often feels like rejection. If the only follow-up is a generic email or a broad invitation to “come back sometime,” many will assume the warmth of Easter was seasonal rather than real.

Set a pathway your leaders can actually execute. Reach out within seven days. Use their name. Reference the actual conversation you had. Invite them to something relational and reachable. That may be a Sunday lunch, a young adult table, a midweek group, a serving opportunity, or coffee with a ministry leader. The point is not to build a dating network or a holding area for unmarried people. The point is to move people toward discipleship, fellowship, and spiritual growth in community.

4. Build belonging before you build a program

Some churches hear this conversation and immediately ask whether they need a formal singles ministry. The better question comes first: do single adults already feel a sense of belonging here? A program can help, but belonging begins long before branding. It begins in the lobby, in class language, in dinner invitations, in leadership pathways, and in whether people make room at the table.

The church is uniquely called to be a family in a lonely world. The Surgeon General’s advisory notes that community involvement has declined across many institutions, including faith participation, and that only 16 percent of Americans in 2018 reported feeling very attached to their local community. That means churches have a real opportunity, but only if they act like family and not merely event planners.

This is where churches need courage. Belonging is often inefficient. It takes time. It requires leaders who stay after the service, walk people to a group, introduce them to others, and remember what was shared the week before. But this kind of ordinary love is exactly what helps a single adult move from noticed to named to known.

5. Let single adults serve, lead, and shape the culture

A church does not become welcoming to singles simply by hosting them. It becomes welcoming when single adults are trusted as full participants in the life of the body. Too often, churches are willing to greet singles but hesitant to platform them, listen to them, or build with them. That sends a message, even when no one says it out loud.

After Easter, ask where single adults are visible in the life of the church. Are they serving? Leading groups? Helping shape hospitality? Speaking into discipleship strategy? Being part of intergenerational life? If not, the church may be friendly, but it is not yet family. A church culture changes when single adults are not treated as ministry consumers but as brothers and sisters, gifted by God to strengthen the church.

That is one reason this matters so much. Nearly 1 in 10 adults ages 18 to 34 lived alone in 2022, according to the Census Bureau. Many of them are not looking for a niche ministry first. They are looking for a church where they can know Christ, know people, and be known as people who matter.

Easter should never be the finish line. It should be the front door. Jesus stopped for Zacchaeus in the middle of the crowd, and churches must do the same for the single adults who came through their doors this Easter season. Notice them. Name them. Know them. When that happens, singles are not treated like an exception to the church’s story. They are received as part of the family of God, right where they are.

The Power of Biblical Community in Disciple Making

Thu, 02 Apr 2026 06:00:00 GMT

An earlier version of this article was originally published by the Christian Index as “ The Power of Biblical Community in Disciple Making Among Young Adults .” This expanded and updated version is adapted for Table for One Ministries.

The Power of Biblical Community in Disciple Making Among Young Adults

Disciple making does not happen in isolation. It happens in community. For young adults navigating independence, identity, career decisions, and relationships, biblical community becomes the primary context for spiritual formation. According to the United States Census Bureau, nearly half of adults ages 18 to 29 are unmarried. Many young adults live alone or are geographically distant from family support systems.
Source: https://www.census.gov/data/tables/time-series/demo/families/marital.html

At the same time, the U.S. Surgeon General has identified loneliness as a significant public health concern. In a culture marked by isolation, the church has an opportunity to model authentic spiritual family.
Source: https://www.hhs.gov/surgeongeneral/priorities/connection/index.html

Biblical community is not optional for disciple making. It is essential.

Why Young Adults Need Biblical Community

Young adulthood is often a season of transition:

Moving to new cities
Starting careers
Navigating dating and singleness
Asking deeper theological questions

Without intentional Christian community, young adults can drift spiritually even while remaining culturally connected to church.

Research from Pew Research Center continues to show generational shifts in religious affiliation. Younger adults are less likely to identify with organized religion than older generations, yet many still express spiritual interest.
Source: https://www.pewresearch.org/religion/

The difference often lies in relational depth. If churches want to understand what young adults look for in a church, belonging consistently rises to the top.
https://www.tfoministries.org/what-young-adults-look-for-in-a-church

What Makes Community Biblical?

Not all community is biblical community. Biblical community includes:

1. Shared Commitment to Christ

Community centered on personality or preference will eventually fracture. Community centered on Christ forms disciples.

2. Mutual Accountability

Disciple making requires truth spoken in love.

3. Intentional Investment

Older believers pouring into younger believers.

4. Missional Movement

Community that turns inward eventually stagnates. Biblical community moves outward in evangelism.

The early church in Acts did not simply gather. They devoted themselves.

The Role of Singles in Disciple Making

Understanding current single adult statistics in America helps churches recognize that many young adults engaged in disciple making are unmarried.
https://www.tfoministries.org/single-adult-statistics-in-america

Singleness often provides unique flexibility for:

Hosting gatherings
Investing in mentoring relationships
Participating in mission opportunities
Building deep peer community

A church that values singles strengthens its disciple making capacity.

Building a Culture of Disciple Making

Churches seeking renewal must move from event driven ministry to relationship centered discipleship. Lifeway Research reports that only 52 percent of pastors say their church has an intentional discipleship plan, and even fewer regularly evaluate progress.
Source: https://research.lifeway.com/2025/10/07/most-churches-rarely-evaluate-their-discipleship-strategies/

Disciple making among young adults requires:

Clear pathways
Leadership development
Relational small groups
Intergenerational connection
Ongoing evaluation

Biblical community is not a program. It is a culture.

The Strategic Opportunity

Young adults are not leaving faith solely because of theology. Many are leaving because they never experienced authentic, accountable community. When churches cultivate biblical community intentionally, young adults are:

Known
Challenged
Encouraged
Sent

Disciple making thrives where belonging is intentional. The power of biblical community is not simply social. It is transformational.

Frequently Asked Questions About Biblical Community and Disciple Making

Why is biblical community important for young adults?

Young adults are in a formative life stage. Biblical community provides accountability, mentorship, and relational support that strengthens spiritual growth and disciple making.

What is biblical community?

Biblical community is a Christ centered group of believers committed to shared faith, accountability, and mission rather than casual social connection.

How can churches build disciple making culture among young adults?

Churches can build disciple making culture by creating intentional small groups, developing young leaders, integrating singles, and prioritizing relational discipleship over event programming.

Does community impact church growth?

Yes. Authentic community increases retention, deepens spiritual maturity, and strengthens evangelistic outreach through relational influence.

3 Lies Single Pastors Believe About Ministry

Thu, 26 Mar 2026 12:15:00 GMT

An earlier version of this article was originally published by the Christian Index as “ 3 Lies Single Pastors Believe .” This expanded and updated version is adapted for Table for One Ministries.

3 Lies Single Pastors Believe — and the Biblical Truth That Sets Them Free

Single pastors often carry silent burdens.

In many church cultures, leadership has been unintentionally framed around marriage and family life. When a pastor is single, assumptions can surface — from the congregation and from within.

These assumptions often turn into lies.

And lies distort calling.

According to the United States Census Bureau, nearly half of adults ages 18 to 29 are unmarried, and marriage continues to occur later in life than in previous generations. The presence of single adults in leadership is not unusual. It is increasingly common.
Source: https://www.census.gov/data/tables/time-series/demo/families/marital.html

Yet many single pastors still wrestle with internal narratives that weaken confidence and joy in ministry.

Let’s address three common lies.

Lie #1: “I Am Less Credible Because I Am Not Married”

Some single pastors assume they are less equipped to counsel families or preach on marriage. Scripture does not support that belief.

Jesus was single. The Apostle Paul was single. Singleness is not a spiritual deficiency. Credibility in ministry comes from character, theological clarity, and pastoral faithfulness — not marital status. In fact, Paul speaks in 1 Corinthians 7 of singleness as offering unique focus and devotion to the Lord.

Lie #2: “I Am Incomplete Without Marriage”

This lie runs deep in both church culture and broader society. But identity in Christ is not conditional. Single pastors are not in a waiting room for spiritual fulfillment. They are complete in Christ today. The U.S. Surgeon General has identified loneliness as a serious public health issue. Even married leaders can experience isolation. Marriage is not the solution to loneliness. Gospel-centered community is.
Source: https://www.hhs.gov/surgeongeneral/priorities/connection/index.html

Single pastors who build intentional friendships and spiritual accountability often experience deep, meaningful relational support.

Lie #3: “My Singleness Is a Ministry Liability”

In reality, singleness can be a ministry strength.

Single pastors often have:

Greater schedule flexibility
Increased availability for mentoring
Freedom for mobility and mission
Relational access to other single adults

Understanding current single adult statistics in America helps churches recognize that many congregations include a significant percentage of unmarried adults.
https://www.tfoministries.org/single-adult-statistics-in-america

A single pastor may uniquely understand and disciple single adults within the church. Singleness does not diminish calling. It shapes it.

A Word to Churches

Churches must also evaluate how they view single leadership. When congregations unintentionally prioritize marriage as the spiritual norm, single pastors may feel peripheral rather than supported. If churches want to understand what young adults look for in a church, belonging and authenticity consistently rise to the top.
https://www.tfoministries.org/what-young-adults-look-for-in-a-church

That includes belonging for leaders. Healthy churches affirm identity rooted in Christ above relationship status.

Identity Before Status

The gospel frees single pastors from comparison. Calling is not validated by a wedding ring. It is validated by faithfulness. A single pastor who is grounded in Christ, surrounded by healthy friendships, and rooted in biblical conviction can lead powerfully and effectively.

The question is not whether singleness limits ministry. The question is whether we believe what Scripture says about identity and calling.

Frequently Asked Questions About Single Pastors

Can a pastor be single according to the Bible?

Yes. Scripture affirms singleness as a valid calling. Both Jesus and the Apostle Paul were single, and singleness is presented as an opportunity for focused devotion to Christ.

What challenges do single pastors face?

Single pastors may experience assumptions about credibility, isolation, or cultural pressure to marry. However, these challenges can be addressed through biblical identity and strong relational community.

Are single pastors less effective in ministry?

No. Effectiveness in ministry depends on character, calling, and faithfulness, not marital status. Singleness can provide unique ministry advantages.

How can churches support single pastors?

Churches can support single pastors by affirming their calling, avoiding marital assumptions, fostering healthy friendships, and integrating them fully into leadership culture.

Why Should My Church Be Single Focused? A Biblical Case

Thu, 19 Mar 2026 10:45:01 GMT

An earlier version of this article was originally published by the Christian Index as “ Why Should My Church Be Single Focused? ” This expanded and updated version is adapted for Table for One Ministries.

Why Should My Church Be Single Focused?

That question is no longer theoretical. It is demographic. It is biblical. And it is strategic.

Churches that ignore single adults are overlooking one of the largest and fastest growing mission fields in America.

According to the United States Census Bureau, nearly half of adults ages 18 to 29 are unmarried. Across all adult age groups, the percentage of unmarried adults continues to grow. One-person households have risen dramatically over the past several decades.
Source: https://www.census.gov/data/tables/time-series/demo/families/marital.html

This means that in nearly every community in America, single adults represent a significant portion of the population.

Yet many churches unintentionally structure ministry primarily around marriage and parenting stages.

The result? Single adults often feel unseen, sidelined, or temporary.

A Biblical Case for Being Single Focused

Being single focused does not mean being marriage dismissive.

It means recognizing that Scripture affirms both marriage and singleness as meaningful callings.

Jesus was single.

Paul was single.

Many early church leaders were single.

The Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 7 speaks of singleness as a unique opportunity for undivided devotion to the Lord.

A church that values singleness reflects a biblical theology of identity rooted in Christ rather than relationship status.

A Demographic Reality Churches Cannot Ignore

Beyond theology, the demographic shift is undeniable.

The Pew Research Center reports generational changes in religious affiliation and life patterns, including later marriage and increased independence among young adults.
Source: https://www.pewresearch.org/religion/

If churches fail to intentionally engage single adults, they are neglecting a growing life stage demographic.

Understanding current single adult statistics in America helps leaders see that singles ministry is not a niche program. It is central to church growth strategy.
https://www.tfoministries.org/single-adult-statistics-in-america

Why Being Single Focused Strengthens the Entire Church

When churches become single focused, several things happen:

1. Belonging Deepens

Singles are integrated rather than isolated.

2. Leadership Expands

Single adults often have flexibility to serve, lead, and invest in ministry.

3. Evangelism Increases

Many single adults are relationally connected to unchurched peers navigating similar life stages.

4. Discipleship Strengthens

When identity is rooted in Christ rather than marital status, the whole church grows healthier.

If you want to understand what young adults look for in a church, belonging and relational authenticity consistently rise to the top.
https://www.tfoministries.org/what-young-adults-look-for-in-a-church

Being single focused is not about creating a silo. It is about cultivating a culture where every life stage is valued.

What Does a Single Focused Church Actually Do?

A single focused church:

Integrates singles into leadership and decision making
Avoids assuming marriage as the primary spiritual milestone
Creates small groups that mix life stages intentionally
Teaches biblical identity rooted in Christ
Recognizes loneliness as a real discipleship issue

The U.S. Surgeon General has identified loneliness as a serious public health concern. Churches have a unique opportunity to model spiritual family in a culture of isolation.

Source: https://www.hhs.gov/surgeongeneral/priorities/connection/index.html

When churches address loneliness intentionally, they reflect the heart of the gospel.

The Strategic Question

The question is not whether your church has single adults.

The question is whether your church is intentionally discipling them.

A single focused church is not abandoning families. It is expanding its vision to include every adult made in the image of God.

Churches that intentionally engage singles position themselves for long term growth, deeper discipleship, and broader community impact.

Frequently Asked Questions About Being a Single Focused Church

What does it mean for a church to be single focused?

Being single focused means intentionally discipling, integrating, and valuing single adults in leadership, community, and mission rather than structuring ministry primarily around marriage and parenting stages.

Why should churches focus on single adults?

Single adults represent a growing percentage of the population. Engaging singles strengthens evangelism, leadership development, and discipleship depth within the church.

Is singles ministry only for young adults?

No. Single adults exist in every age group including young professionals, divorced adults, widows, and older adults who never married. A single focused church recognizes this diversity.

Will focusing on singles hurt family ministry?

No. A healthy church can value both marriage and singleness. Being single focused strengthens overall belonging and spiritual family across life stages.

Six Years After COVID: Are Single Adults Guaranteed a Seat in Your Church?

Sun, 15 Mar 2026 08:30:00 GMT

Six Years After COVID: Are Single Adults Guaranteed a Seat in Your Church?

Six years ago, church doors closed.

Sanctuaries went quiet. Small groups paused. Worship moved to screens. For the first time in modern history, millions of believers experienced church entirely from their living rooms.

The disruption was unprecedented. But the disruption also revealed something deeper. COVID did not create new problems in the church. It exposed existing ones.

Now, six years later, the question is not whether churches survived. The question is whether we learned what the season revealed—especially about belonging. And particularly about single adults.

What the Pandemic Revealed

When churches shifted online, some families adapted quickly. Parents gathered children around screens. Married couples prayed together. Households formed built-in spiritual communities.

But many single adults worshiped alone.

They logged in alone.

They logged off alone.

They processed sermons alone.

Without in-home faith rhythms or built-in spiritual companionship, isolation intensified. The absence of weekly gathering did not create loneliness, but it magnified it.

According to the United States Census Bureau, nearly half of adults ages 18 to 29 are unmarried. Across all age groups, one-person households have steadily increased over the past several decades. In many communities, a significant portion of adults live alone.
Source: https://www.census.gov/data/tables/time-series/demo/families/marital.html

When church went digital, many of those adults experienced the loss of physical gathering more acutely than others.

The pandemic forced us to see something that had long been present but often overlooked.

Belonging cannot be assumed.

Loneliness and the Church’s Opportunity

In 2023, the U.S. Surgeon General identified loneliness as a major public health concern, citing its impact on mental, emotional, and even physical health. Source: https://www.hhs.gov/surgeongeneral/priorities/connection/index.html

Loneliness was not invented by COVID. But the pandemic accelerated conversations around it. For single adults navigating relocation, career transitions, divorce, widowhood, or delayed marriage, the church often represents the primary opportunity for consistent spiritual community.

Yet during the pandemic, many single adults quietly drifted—not because they rejected faith, but because connection weakened.

Six years later, we must ask a difficult question. Have we rebuilt church life in a way that ensures single adults are fully integrated, or have we simply resumed familiar rhythms?

The Assumptions We Carried

One of the most revealing aspects of the pandemic was how much of church culture assumed marriage as the norm. Ministry calendars often revolve around families. Sermon illustrations frequently assume parenting life stages. Events are structured around couples or children.

There is nothing wrong with valuing families. Scripture honors marriage and parenting. But if the church unintentionally communicates that marriage is the default spiritual trajectory, single adults may feel like they are waiting for full inclusion.

COVID stripped away programming and forced us to reconsider identity.

Were we discipling believers as complete in Christ? Or were we discipling them toward a future life stage? If identity is rooted in Christ, then every believer belongs fully today—not someday.

Digital Doors and First Impressions

Another lesson from COVID is that the digital front door matters. Single adults often relocate for work or education. They search online before visiting. They read reviews. They scan websites for signs of belonging.

If your church’s digital presence primarily highlights children’s ministry and family programming, what message does that send?

Discoverability is important. But discoverability without visible belonging can reinforce hesitation.

Helping neighbors find your church online is wise. Helping single adults feel seen before they ever walk through the door is pastoral.

The mission field often begins with a search query.

Small Groups and the Capacity for Belonging

Some churches discovered during COVID that their strongest communities were not built around events but around relationships.

Small groups that already practiced intentional care adapted more easily. Members checked in on one another. Prayer requests continued. Conversations did not stop.

Other groups struggled because connection was dependent on weekly curriculum rather than relational investment.

Six years later, this distinction still matters. Belonging does not happen automatically when someone attends worship. It develops through smaller, relational environments where people are known. Understanding current single adult statistics in America reminds us that many adults need intentional pathways into community. https://www.tfoministries.org/single-adult-statistics-in-america

If small groups remain closed or static, newcomers—including single adults—may struggle to connect.

Belonging requires capacity.

Revitalization Is Relational

Church revitalization conversations often center on attendance trends, volunteer fatigue, or financial strain. Those concerns are real.

But revitalization at its core is relational renewal.

It is the decision to see people again.

If we believe revitalization is only about regaining lost numbers, we may overlook those who are present but not fully integrated.

In many churches, single adults attend faithfully yet remain on the margins of leadership and discipleship. If churches want to understand what young adults look for in a church, belonging consistently rises to the top. https://www.tfoministries.org/what-young-adults-look-for-in-a-church

Belonging fuels engagement. Engagement fuels mission. Mission fuels renewal. The sequence matters.

Ensuring Singles Always Have a Seat

The phrase “a seat at the table” is often used metaphorically. But in church life, it becomes literal.

Will someone notice the person sitting alone?
Will someone initiate conversation?
Will someone extend invitation beyond Sunday morning?

Ensuring single adults have a seat is not about creating a singles silo. It is about embedding visibility into the culture of the church.

It means preaching identity in Christ clearly.
It means developing leaders across life stages.
It means launching small groups with openness.
It means training members to notice and invite.

Revitalization is not achieved through complexity. It begins with awareness.

What Six Years Should Have Taught Us

Six years removed from COVID, we have perspective.

We learned that buildings are tools, not identity.
We learned that livestreams cannot replace embodied community.
We learned that attendance does not equal belonging.

Most importantly, we learned that isolation can exist quietly within congregations. The pandemic exposed that some believers were more connected to programs than to people. If we resume church life without addressing that reality, we miss the invitation.

Revitalization is not a verdict on the past. It is an invitation to see the present mission field clearly. In many congregations, that mission field includes single adults already sitting in the pew. The question is simple.

Are they guaranteed a seat—not just physically, but relationally?

Frequently Asked Questions About Church, COVID, and Singles

How did COVID impact single adults in church?

Many single adults experienced increased isolation during church closures. Without built-in family faith rhythms, online worship often lacked relational connection.

Why should churches focus on singles after the pandemic?

Single adults represent a growing demographic across America. Engaging them intentionally strengthens belonging, leadership development, and evangelistic reach.

What lessons did churches learn from COVID about belonging?

Churches learned that passive attendance does not equal relational depth. Intentional community, small groups, and personal invitation are essential for spiritual health.

How can churches ensure no one sits alone?

Churches can prioritize open small groups, integrate singles into leadership, teach identity in Christ clearly, and train members to notice and invite others intentionally.

Is focusing on singles part of revitalization?

Yes. Revitalization involves recognizing overlooked mission fields within the congregation. In many communities, single adults represent a significant and strategic opportunity for renewal.

North Star Bible School Alaska | A Christian Gap Year for Young Adults

Fri, 13 Mar 2026 20:05:23 GMT

An Alaskan Gap Year That Helps Young Adults Build Their Life on Jesus Christ

There is a growing recognition among pastors, parents, and church leaders that many young adults are entering adulthood without a strong spiritual foundation. College, careers, relationships, and independence arrive quickly, and without intentional discipleship, many young believers struggle to stay rooted in their faith.

That is why programs like North Star Bible School are becoming increasingly important.

Located in Alaska and surrounded by breathtaking wilderness, North Star Bible School offers a one year immersive experience designed to help young adults pursue Jesus, discover purpose, and build their life on the truth of Scripture.

You can explore the school here: https://www.nsbs.life/

North Star Bible School is a one year program specifically designed for young adults ages 18 to 25 who want to strengthen their faith, grow in biblical knowledge, and develop a foundation that will guide the rest of their lives.

Why a Biblical Foundation Matters for Young Adults

Across America the transition from adolescence to adulthood is becoming more complex. Many young adults delay marriage, change careers frequently, and face growing cultural pressures that challenge their faith. At the same time, research shows that millions of young adults are navigating these years without consistent Christian discipleship or mentorship.

Programs like North Star Bible School address this need by providing an intentional year focused on:

• Biblical education
• Spiritual formation
• Community and discipleship
• Service and leadership development

Instead of rushing immediately into college or the workforce, students spend a year grounding their identity and direction in Christ.

This type of intentional season often becomes a turning point that shapes the trajectory of a young person’s entire life.

What Makes North Star Bible School Unique

North Star Bible School combines strong biblical teaching with intentional discipleship and community life. Unlike traditional college programs, the structure of the school focuses on practical spiritual growth and relational discipleship.

Learn more about the program here: https://www.nsbs.life/overview

Students experience three core elements during the year.

Biblical Academics

The academic portion of the program consists of 28 one week long courses taught by respected Christian instructors from across the United States. Because each class runs for only one week, the school is able to bring in a wide variety of highly qualified teachers, many of whom teach at other universities or seminaries. Classes are held each morning for three and a half hours and focus heavily on the practical application of Scripture . Students also complete reading assignments, essays, and final projects that help them engage deeply with the materials

Course descriptions can be found here: https://www.nsbs.life/coursepage

This academic structure exposes students to a wide range of biblical topics while maintaining a strong emphasis on spiritual formation.

Discipleship and Personal Growth

One of the most valuable aspects of the North Star experience is the intentional discipleship structure built into the program.

Each student participates in:

• Weekly one on one discipleship meetings with staff
• Small group Bible study in a staff couple’s home
• Service opportunities on campus
• Practical life skills development through work study

Students also complete six hours of service each week on campus , helping them learn responsibility and teamwork while contributing to the community. This combination of biblical instruction and relational mentorship creates an environment where students grow both spiritually and personally.

A Strong Emphasis on the Local Church

North Star Bible School places a high value on the importance of the local church. While the school hosts chapel services on Wednesday mornings where students worship and hear sermons from a variety of speakers, students are also required to attend and serve in a local church during their year. This helps students develop a lifelong habit of engaging with and serving in a church body rather than viewing the school itself as a replacement for church life.

Community Life in Alaska

One of the defining aspects of North Star Bible School is the strong sense of community among students. Because students live, study, and serve together throughout the year, deep friendships naturally form.

Students:

• Attend classes together
• Share meals in the dining hall
• Participate in group activities
• Live in dorms on campus
• Explore the beauty of Alaska together

The campus environment is intentionally designed to reduce distractions and encourage meaningful relationships. The surrounding wilderness also offers incredible recreational opportunities. Students can enjoy activities such as:

• Hiking and backpacking in Hatcher Pass
• Skiing and snowboarding
• Fishing and hunting
• Kayaking and canoeing
• Ice skating on the lake
• Exploring the Alaskan wilderness

You can see more about the campus experience here: https://www.nsbs.life/thecampus

This unique setting allows students to grow spiritually while experiencing one of the most beautiful regions in the world.

What a Typical Day Looks Like

Life at North Star Bible School follows a rhythm designed to balance study, community, and recreation.

Morning schedule

• 7:30 AM breakfast in the dining hall
• 8:30 AM to 12:00 PM classroom instruction

Afternoon schedule

• Lunch at 12:30 PM
• Library study time
• Recreation and outdoor activities
• Work study responsibilities
• Weekly small group discipleship
• One on one mentoring meetings

Students also gather for chapel services and participate in community events throughout the year.

Why This Year Can Change a Life

Proverbs teaches that wisdom is more valuable than silver or gold and that those who seek wisdom should pursue it like treasure.

North Star Bible School exists to help young adults do exactly that. Taking a year to intentionally pursue Christ before launching fully into adult responsibilities can shape every area of a young person’s future.

Students leave the program with:

• A deeper understanding of Scripture
• Strong lifelong friendships
• Practical ministry experience
• Greater spiritual maturity
• Clarity about calling and purpose

For many students, this year becomes one of the most influential seasons of their life.

Learn More About North Star Bible School

If you or someone you know is between the ages of 18 and 25 and looking for a gap year focused on spiritual growth, North Star Bible School is worth exploring. Visit their website to learn more about the program and application process. https://www.nsbs.life/

Frequently Asked Questions About North Star Bible School

What is North Star Bible School?

North Star Bible School is a one year Christian Bible school in Alaska designed to help young adults ages 18 to 25 build a strong spiritual foundation through biblical teaching, discipleship, and community living.

Students participate in classroom instruction, mentoring, service opportunities, and local church involvement.

Learn more at https://www.nsbs.life/

Who should attend North Star Bible School?

North Star Bible School is ideal for young adults who want to:

• Grow deeper in their faith
• Study Scripture in a focused environment
• Explore their calling and purpose
• Take a gap year before college or career
• Build strong Christian friendships

The program is specifically designed for students between the ages of 18 and 25.

What classes are taught at North Star Bible School?

The program includes 28 one week long courses taught by experienced Christian instructors from across the United States.

Courses cover a wide variety of biblical topics with a strong emphasis on practical application of Scripture.

You can review the course descriptions here https://www.nsbs.life/coursepage

What is student life like at North Star Bible School?

Students live together on campus in dorm housing and share meals in a community dining hall.

The daily schedule includes:

• Classroom instruction
• Discipleship meetings
• Small group Bible study
• Service projects
• Recreation and outdoor adventures

The strong community environment helps students build meaningful friendships and grow spiritually together.

Why take a gap year at a Bible school?

A gap year focused on biblical discipleship can help young adults clarify their identity, strengthen their faith, and develop a spiritual foundation before entering college or a career.

For many students, this intentional season of spiritual growth shapes the direction of their life for years to come.

DLife

Fri, 13 Mar 2026 19:44:26 GMT

Why D Life Ministries Is Helping Churches Build a True Disciple Making Culture

A Biblical Process That Works for Singles and Every Believer

In many churches today people talk about discipleship, but fewer churches have a clear pathway that helps everyday believers actually become disciple makers. Programs come and go. Bible studies begin and end. But Jesus never invited people to join a program. He called them to follow Him and then equipped them to help others do the same. That is the vision behind D Life Ministries .

At Table for One Ministries , we are grateful for ministries that are committed to strengthening the church through authentic discipleship. That is why we are honored to highlight D Life Ministries as a trusted partner and supporter whose tools and training help churches develop a lifestyle of disciple making.

You can explore their ministry and resources here: https://www.livethedlife.com

Their mission is simple but powerful: D Life exists to equip common people to become Christ like disciple makers.

Why Disciple Making Matters More Than Ever

Across America the church is facing a discipleship challenge. Many people attend services, but fewer believers are intentionally discipling others. At the same time, the demographics of the church are shifting rapidly.

According to national research on single adults:

Nearly 50 percent of U.S. adults are single
More than 128 million Americans are unmarried
Almost one third of households are one person households

These trends highlight something important for churches. A growing number of people are navigating life, faith, and relationships without the support structures previous generations experienced.

You can explore the full data here: https://www.tfoministries.org/single-adult-statistics-in-america

This includes people who are:

Each of these groups needs something deeper than another church program. They need relationships that help them grow spiritually and walk with Christ in everyday life . That is exactly where the D Life disciple making process shines.

The Conviction Behind D Life Ministries

The foundation of D Life is built on one central conviction. Disciple making is not a program. It is a lifestyle. When Jesus called the twelve disciples, He did not invite them to attend a class. He invited them into a relationship where they would learn from Him and eventually help others follow Him as well. D Life follows this same pattern.

The ministry equips ordinary believers to lead small discipleship groups called D Groups that meet regularly for Bible reading, prayer, accountability, and mission. The goal is not simply knowledge. The goal is multiplication. When churches embrace this model, something powerful begins to happen.

Unexpected leaders begin to emerge
More believers read the Bible daily
Evangelism increases
Spiritual maturity deepens
Groups begin multiplying
New believers are discipled quickly

Churches that adopt the D Life approach often see a grassroots movement of disciple making spread throughout their congregation.

How the D Life Process Works

The D Life process is intentionally simple because simplicity makes reproduction possible. D Groups consist of three to five people meeting weekly for intentional discipleship. These groups can meet almost anywhere:

Coffee shops
Homes
Parks
Schools
Workplaces
Church buildings

The goal is to create a relational environment where people grow spiritually together.

You can learn more about the process here: https://www.livethedlife.com/process.html

The entire system is built around six practices of disciple making modeled by Jesus.

The Six Practices of Disciple Making

Fellowship

Jesus first invited His disciples into relationship with Him.

D Groups follow this example by creating an environment of trust, friendship, and shared spiritual growth.

Teaching

Jesus used stories and discussion to help His disciples understand Scripture.

D Groups engage in Bible reading and discussion together using weekly study guides and shared learning.

Prayer

Jesus regularly prayed with His disciples and taught them how to pray.

Prayer is central to the D Life process as groups pray weekly for one another and for spiritual awakening.

Ministry

Jesus sent His disciples to serve others.

D Groups participate in ministry together outside the walls of the church, often completing a service or evangelism project every couple of months.

Multiplication

Jesus trained His disciples to make more disciples.

D Groups are designed to multiply within one or two years so new groups can form and disciple more people.

Accountability

Jesus held His disciples accountable to spiritual growth.

D Groups practice loving accountability to help members stay committed to Scripture, prayer, mission, and personal growth.

Resources That Help Churches Launch D Life

One reason many churches adopt the D Life model is the strength of its training and resources. These tools help leaders build a culture of disciple making without creating unnecessary complexity. Here are several of the key resources available through D Life Ministries.

D Life Journals

https://www.livethedlife.com/d-life-journals.html

The D Life Journal provides:

• A daily Bible reading plan
• Memory verses
• Weekly study guides for D Groups

The Bible itself becomes the primary textbook for the discipleship journey.

D Life Online

https://www.livethedlife.com/d-life-online.html

D Life Online offers four full years of discipleship content that can be accessed digitally or printed.

Churches can use this platform to provide structured training for disciple makers and groups across their ministry.

D Life Training

https://www.livethedlife.com/training.html

D Life also provides training resources that help church leaders equip members to become disciple makers.

These materials guide churches through launching D Groups and developing leaders who can multiply disciples throughout the congregation.

Why This Matters for Singles

At Table for One Ministries we care deeply about helping singles grow spiritually and experience authentic Christian community. Many singles feel disconnected in churches that primarily focus on traditional family programming. But discipleship groups like those used in D Life provide something incredibly valuable. They create intentional spiritual relationships. Singles benefit from this model because it offers:

Consistent spiritual accountability
Deep friendships rooted in Scripture
Opportunities to serve together
A pathway to leadership and disciple making

In many churches, singles become some of the strongest leaders in D Groups because they often have the availability and relational capacity to invest deeply in others. When singles are discipled well, they become some of the most effective disciple makers in the church.

A Movement That Starts With Ordinary People

One of the most encouraging aspects of D Life Ministries is its focus on ordinary believers. The movement does not depend on large budgets, complex programs, or celebrity leaders. It begins when everyday Christians decide to take Jesus’ command seriously.

To follow Him.
To grow in His Word.
To invest in others.

And to make disciples who make disciples. That kind of culture transforms churches from the inside out.

Learn More About D Life Ministries

If your church wants to move beyond programs and begin building a true disciple making culture, we strongly encourage you to explore D Life Ministries.

Visit their website here: https://www.livethedlife.com

Watch their overview video here: https://www.livethedlife.com/info-video.html#/

You can also explore their discipleship resources and training tools through the links shared above.

Final Encouragement

Jesus did not ask His followers to attend more meetings. He asked them to make disciples. When churches equip everyday believers to live out that calling, something remarkable happens.

Faith grows deeper.
Relationships grow stronger.
The gospel spreads more naturally.

And the church begins to reflect the very mission Jesus gave it from the beginning. We are grateful for the work of D Life Ministries and their commitment to helping churches equip believers for a lifestyle of disciple making.

FAQ SECTION

What is D Life Ministries?

D Life Ministries is a ministry focused on equipping ordinary believers to become Christ like disciple makers. Instead of relying on programs, D Life trains church members to lead small discipleship groups called D Groups where people grow through Scripture, prayer, accountability, ministry, and multiplication. The goal is to create a culture where disciples make disciples throughout the church.

Learn more at: https://www.livethedlife.com

What is the D Life disciple making process?

The D Life process is built on the model Jesus used with His disciples. It centers on six key practices that help believers grow spiritually and reproduce disciples. The six practices are:

• Fellowship
• Teaching
• Prayer
• Ministry
• Multiplication
• Accountability

These practices are lived out in small discipleship groups of three to five people who meet weekly to read Scripture, pray together, and encourage one another toward spiritual growth.

More details can be found here: https://www.livethedlife.com/process.html

What is a D Group?

A D Group is a small discipleship group typically made up of three to five people who meet regularly for intentional spiritual growth.

These groups can meet almost anywhere, including:

• Homes
• Coffee shops
• Churches
• Offices
• Parks

D Groups focus on daily Bible reading, weekly discussion, prayer, and missional ministry. Over time, the goal is for group members to become disciple makers who start new groups.

How can churches start using D Life?

Churches can begin implementing the D Life process by equipping leaders and members with the training and resources provided by the ministry. Key resources include:

D Life Journals
https://www.livethedlife.com/d-life-journals.html

Daily Bible reading plans, memory verses, and weekly study guides that help guide D Groups.

D Life Online
https://www.livethedlife.com/d-life-online.html

Digital access to four full years of discipleship content.

D Life Training
https://www.livethedlife.com/training.html

Training tools designed to help churches equip members to lead disciple making groups.

Why is disciple making important for singles?

Disciple making is especially important for single adults because it creates meaningful spiritual relationships and accountability.

According to national research, nearly half of American adults are single , representing over 128 million people navigating life and faith without a spouse. https://www.tfoministries.org/single-adult-statistics-in-america

Discipleship groups help singles:

• Grow deeper in Scripture
• Build authentic Christian friendships
• Develop spiritual accountability
• Serve in ministry together
• Become disciple makers themselves

For many singles, these groups become one of the most important sources of spiritual community in the church.

How does D Life help churches build a disciple making culture?

Many churches want to emphasize discipleship but struggle to create a clear pathway. D Life provides a simple, reproducible structure that helps churches move from occasional Bible studies to a lifestyle of disciple making. Churches that implement D Life often see:

• More believers reading Scripture daily
• New leaders emerging in the church
• Increased evangelism and outreach
• Stronger relationships within the congregation
• Groups multiplying and discipling new believers

Over time, this creates a culture where disciple making becomes part of the DNA of the church.

Where can I learn more about D Life Ministries?

You can learn more about D Life Ministries, watch overview videos, and explore their disciple making resources by visiting: https://www.livethedlife.com

To see how their resources help equip believers for a lifestyle of disciple making, explore their journals, online tools, and training materials through the links included in this article.

What is the difference between discipleship and disciple making?

Discipleship often refers to helping a believer grow spiritually through teaching, mentoring, and spiritual formation.

Disciple making goes one step further. It focuses on equipping believers to multiply their faith by discipling others .

Jesus modeled disciple making in the Gospels by investing deeply in a small group of followers and then sending them out to make disciples themselves. This multiplication model is central to the approach used by D Life Ministries , which equips ordinary believers to lead small discipleship groups that reproduce over time.

Learn more about the process here: https://www.livethedlife.com/process.html

What is the biblical model for disciple making?

The biblical model for disciple making is found in how Jesus trained His disciples. Rather than creating a classroom environment, Jesus invited a small group of followers to walk closely with Him. Through daily life, teaching, prayer, and ministry, He prepared them to continue the mission after His resurrection. The pattern includes:

• Relational fellowship
• Scripture centered teaching
• Prayer together
• Ministry and service
• Spiritual accountability
• Multiplication

This same pattern forms the foundation of the D Life disciple making process.

How can small groups become disciple making groups?

Many churches have small groups, but not all small groups function as disciple making groups. A disciple making group focuses intentionally on spiritual growth and multiplication rather than only fellowship. Effective disciple making groups usually include:

• Regular Bible reading
• Weekly discussion and prayer
• Accountability for spiritual growth
• Opportunities to serve others
• A commitment to eventually multiply into new groups

D Groups in the D Life model follow this approach by equipping believers to reproduce disciples through simple, relational gatherings.

Why do churches struggle with disciple making?

Many churches struggle with disciple making because the process often becomes overly complicated. Programs, curriculum changes, and leadership transitions can make discipleship feel difficult to sustain. Effective disciple making movements tend to share three characteristics:

• Simplicity
• Reproducibility
• Strong relationships

That is why many churches adopt models like the D Life process, which focuses on small groups of three to five believers meeting regularly for intentional spiritual growth

The Best Church Management Software for Growing Churches: Why We Appreciate Churchteams

Fri, 13 Mar 2026 19:08:36 GMT

Why Church Systems Matter for Healthy Ministry

Every church wants to reach people.

But healthy ministry requires more than good intentions. It requires organization, communication, and systems that help people move from attending church to becoming deeply connected in the life of the church.In many ways, discipleship happens through relationships. Yet relationships grow best when churches have clear pathways that help people connect.

This is why tools that support church leadership matter.

At Table for One Ministries we are grateful for partners who help churches build those systems well. One of those partners is Churchteams , a ministry focused on helping churches manage groups, communicate with members, and strengthen discipleship pathways.

You can explore their platform here: https://go.churchteams.com

Churchteams is designed specifically to help churches create stronger connections within their congregations and communities.

A Church Management System Built for Ministry

Churchteams provides church management software with built in communication tools, helping churches organize people, track ministry engagement, and improve communication across the church body. Many church leaders know the challenge. People attend services but struggle to move into deeper connection.

Leaders try to track attendance, volunteers, and groups using spreadsheets or multiple disconnected tools.

Communication becomes fragmented. Churchteams addresses these challenges by providing one system that helps churches manage key ministry areas such as:

Small groups and discipleship pathways
Member engagement and attendance
Volunteer scheduling
Event registration
Giving and generosity tracking
Church communication and messaging

When churches have clear systems in place, leaders can spend less time managing data and more time investing in people.

Learn more here: https://go.churchteams.com

Communication Tools That Help Churches Stay Connected

One of the most powerful features Churchteams provides is integrated communication. Churches today must communicate through multiple channels including email, text messaging, and mobile access. Churchteams integrates these communication tools directly into the church management platform. The system allows churches to:

Send chat and mass text messages with MMS messaging
Communicate with ministry teams quickly
Notify volunteers about upcoming schedules
Stay connected with members through mobile tools

These communication features help churches stay engaged with their people throughout the week, not just on Sundays. For churches trying to strengthen connection and engagement, this kind of communication system can make a significant difference.

Helping Churches Build Stronger Discipleship Pathways

At Table for One Ministries, we believe discipleship happens best through relationships. Small groups, mentoring relationships, and ministry teams often become the places where people grow spiritually and develop authentic friendships. But managing groups can become complex as churches grow. Churchteams helps churches organize their small group structures so leaders can:

Track group participation
Identify new leaders
Monitor group health
Invite new people into discipleship pathways

These tools allow pastors and ministry leaders to see where people are connected and where new opportunities for discipleship exist.

Explore the platform here: https://go.churchteams.com

Why Systems Matter for Connection

Across America, people are increasingly searching for meaningful community. The U.S. Surgeon General recently reported that approximately half of U.S. adults experience loneliness, highlighting the growing need for authentic relationships and community.

Churches are uniquely positioned to respond to this need.

But connection does not happen accidentally. Churches must intentionally create pathways that help people move from being visitors to becoming fully engaged in the life of the church. This is where strong church management systems become incredibly valuable. Tools like Churchteams help leaders identify who is connected, who may be drifting, and where new opportunities for discipleship can grow.

Thank You to Churchteams for Supporting Table for One Ministries

We are grateful for organizations that believe in strengthening the church. Churchteams has been a supporter of Table for One Ministries, and we want to publicly thank them for their encouragement and partnership. Their work helps churches organize ministry, communicate more effectively, and connect people into meaningful discipleship relationships. If you are a pastor, ministry leader, or church staff member looking for a better way to organize your church’s systems, we encourage you to explore Churchteams.

Visit their platform here: https://go.churchteams.com

Ministry Is About People

Technology does not replace relationships. But when used wisely, it can strengthen them. Church management systems help churches steward the people God has entrusted to them. They help leaders notice who needs encouragement, who is ready to lead, and who might be searching for deeper connection.

We are thankful for partners like Churchteams who help churches build systems that support healthy discipleship and authentic community.

If your church is exploring ways to strengthen communication, organize groups, and build clearer ministry pathways, learning more about Churchteams could be a helpful next step.

FAQ SECTION

What is church management software?

Church management software is a digital system that helps churches organize member information, manage groups, track attendance, schedule volunteers, communicate with members, and oversee ministry activities.

Why do churches need church management software?

Church management software helps churches stay organized, improve communication, and ensure people are connected in small groups, ministries, and discipleship pathways.

What features should churches look for in church management software?

Most churches benefit from tools that include member databases, group management, volunteer scheduling, event registration, giving management, and communication tools such as texting or email.

Digital Marketing for Churches | Rank Monsters Partner

Fri, 13 Mar 2026 18:47:22 GMT

Why Digital Marketing Matters for Churches and Ministries

Every ministry begins with a calling.

For Table for One Ministries , that calling is clear. We want every single adult to know they are seen, valued, and complete in Christ. We want churches to recognize the opportunity to reach millions of single adults who are navigating faith, community, and life in unique ways.

But here is an important reality in ministry today. People cannot connect with a ministry they cannot find. In a digital world, many people begin their search for community online. Whether they are looking for a church, a support group, or simply a place where they belong, the first step often starts with a Google search. That is why we are grateful for the partnership and support of Rank Monsters, a digital marketing organization dedicated to helping churches and nonprofits expand their reach online.

You can learn more about their work here: https://rankmonsters.org/

Their team helps ministries communicate clearly online so people searching for hope, connection, and purpose can find them more easily.

The Growing Need for Meaningful Connection

The importance of strong community has never been clearer.

The U.S. Surgeon General recently highlighted the growing crisis of loneliness in America, reporting that approximately one in two adults experience loneliness. This reality has profound implications for churches. Many people are searching for connection, encouragement, and community. They are searching for answers about faith, purpose, and belonging.

Yet if a church or ministry does not appear in online searches, those individuals may never discover the community that could change their lives. Digital visibility has become one of the new front doors of ministry. This is where organizations like Rank Monsters provide valuable support for churches and nonprofits that want to reach people more effectively.

How Rank Monsters Helps Churches Reach Their Communities

Rank Monsters specializes in digital marketing for churches and nonprofit organizations. Their focus is not simply increasing website traffic. Their goal is helping ministries connect with the people they are called to serve.

Their services help churches:

Improve their search visibility online
Reach people in their community who are searching for help or spiritual guidance
Communicate their mission more clearly through digital platforms
Use modern tools to extend their ministry impact

If your church has ever wondered how to reach more people in your community, their team offers practical strategies and support.

Explore their services here: https://rankmonsters.org/

Using Google Ad Grants to Reach New People

One of the most powerful opportunities many churches overlook is the Google Ad Grants program. Through this initiative, Google provides eligible nonprofit organizations with up to $10,000 per month in advertising credits to promote their programs and outreach online.

These grants allow churches to highlight things like:

worship services
community outreach programs
support groups
discipleship opportunities
special events

However, navigating the Google Ad Grants process can be confusing for many ministries. Rank Monsters helps churches apply for and manage these grants so they can maximize the opportunity.

Learn more about this program here: https://rankmonsters.org/ad-grants-for-churches/

When used well, these tools can help ministries connect with people who are already searching online for hope and community.

Internet Marketing for Nonprofits That Serve People

Effective digital outreach is about more than technology. It is about helping people find the mission God has already placed in your church or organization.

Rank Monsters offers guidance specifically designed for nonprofit ministries through their Internet Marketing for Nonprofits resources.

Their approach focuses on helping ministries:

communicate their mission online
increase visibility in search engines
connect with the right audiences
steward digital tools wisely

You can explore that resource here: https://rankmonsters.org/internet-marketing-for-nonprofits/

For ministries that want to expand their reach without losing their focus on people, these strategies can be incredibly helpful.

Why Partnerships Like This Matter

At Table for One Ministries, we believe the church is still one of the most powerful places for authentic connection and discipleship. We also believe the church must adapt to how people are searching for community today. When someone searches online for answers about loneliness, faith, or belonging, we want them to discover a church that welcomes them. That is why we are thankful for organizations like Rank Monsters that help ministries expand their reach and impact.

Their support of Table for One Ministries reflects a shared commitment to helping churches connect with people who need hope, encouragement, and authentic relationships. If you are a church leader or nonprofit director looking for ways to reach more people in your community, we encourage you to explore their work.

Visit their website here: https://rankmonsters.org/

Continuing the Mission Together

Digital tools are not the mission. People are.

But when digital tools help people find hope, find community, and find Christ, they become powerful tools for ministry. We are grateful for partners like Rank Monsters who are helping churches and nonprofits use these tools wisely. If your ministry is exploring ways to expand its outreach and better connect with your community, learning more about their work could be a meaningful next step.

FAQ SECTION

What is digital marketing for churches?

Digital marketing for churches refers to using online tools such as search engines, websites, social media, and advertising to help people discover a church or ministry and connect with its mission.

What is the Google Ad Grants program?

Google Ad Grants is a program that provides eligible nonprofit organizations with up to $10,000 per month in advertising credits to promote their programs through Google search.

Why do churches need digital marketing?

Many people begin searching for community, churches, and support online. Digital marketing helps churches become visible to people who are already searching for connection and spiritual guidance.

Be a Friend Worth Having: Biblical Friendship for Singles

Thu, 12 Mar 2026 12:45:00 GMT

An earlier version of this article was originally published by the Christian Index as “ A Friend Worth Having Will Carry People to Jesus Despite the Obstacles. ” This expanded and updated version is adapted for Table for One Ministries.

Be a Friend Worth Having: Biblical Friendship for Singles

In a culture marked by isolation, biblical friendship is one of the most powerful discipleship tools the church possesses.

The story in Mark 2 of friends carrying a paralytic man to Jesus remains one of the clearest pictures of gospel-centered friendship. They did not allow obstacles, crowds, or inconvenience to stop them. They carried their friend to Christ.

For single adults, this passage resonates deeply.

According to the United States Census Bureau, nearly half of adults ages 18 to 29 are unmarried, and one-person households continue to rise across the country. Many single adults report feelings of loneliness, especially during life transitions and holidays.
Source: https://www.census.gov/data/tables/time-series/demo/families/marital.html

The U.S. Surgeon General has identified loneliness as a significant public health concern, noting its impact on emotional and physical well-being. In this cultural moment, the church has an opportunity to model authentic, biblical friendship.
Source: https://www.hhs.gov/surgeongeneral/priorities/connection/index.html

Biblical friendship is not casual companionship. It is covenantal care. It is discipleship in motion.

Why Friendship Matters for Single Adults

Singles are often told to “wait” for marriage, as if fulfillment lies only ahead. Scripture presents a different reality. In Christ, every believer is complete and fully integrated into the body of Christ.

Yet many churches unintentionally structure community around marriage and parenting stages. When that happens, single adults can feel peripheral rather than central.

Understanding current single adult statistics in America helps churches recognize that singles are not a niche demographic. They represent a significant and growing portion of the mission field.
https://www.tfoministries.org/single-adult-statistics-in-america

Friendship becomes the primary relational pathway for many single adults. It is through friendship that encouragement, accountability, evangelism, and spiritual growth flourish.

What a Friend Worth Having Actually Does

The friends in Mark 2 demonstrate four characteristics every church should cultivate:

1. They Carry Burdens

They did not simply offer advice. They physically carried their friend to Jesus. Biblical friendship involves tangible care and consistent presence.

2. They Overcome Obstacles

Crowds did not deter them. Faithful friends remain committed even when ministry becomes inconvenient.

3. They Act with Faith

Jesus saw their faith. Friendship rooted in Christ actively believes that transformation is possible.

4. They Point to Jesus

They did not position themselves as saviors. They brought their friend to the Savior.

This is especially important for singles navigating dating, career uncertainty, or seasons of loneliness. A friend worth having does not replace Christ. A friend worth having carries others to Christ.

Building a Church Culture of Biblical Friendship

Churches seeking to reach single adults and young professionals must move beyond programming toward discipleship culture.

Research from Pew Research Center continues to show generational shifts in religious affiliation, yet spiritual curiosity remains present among younger adults. The issue is often belonging, not belief.
Source: https://www.pewresearch.org/religion/

If churches want to understand what young adults look for in a church, belonging consistently rises to the top.
https://www.tfoministries.org/what-young-adults-look-for-in-a-church

Practical ways churches can cultivate biblical friendship include:

Encouraging small group environments that mix life stages
Training leaders to notice and personally invite singles
Teaching on identity in Christ rather than relationship status
Creating service opportunities where friendships form naturally

The goal is not to create a singles silo. The goal is to cultivate spiritual family.

Friendship as Evangelism

Evangelism often begins with proximity.

The paralytic did not reach Jesus alone. He was carried by friends. In a culture of loneliness, authentic Christian friendship becomes a visible apologetic.

Single adults who experience consistent, Christ-centered friendship often become some of the most faithful disciple makers in the church.

A friend worth having will carry people to Jesus despite the obstacles. And a church worth joining will cultivate that kind of friendship intentionally.

Frequently Asked Questions About Biblical Friendship and Singles

Why is biblical friendship important for singles?

Biblical friendship provides spiritual support, accountability, and belonging for single adults. In seasons without a spouse, friendships often become the primary relational context for discipleship and encouragement.

What does the Bible say about friendship?

Scripture presents friendship as covenantal and faith-filled. In Mark 2, friends carry a paralytic to Jesus, demonstrating sacrificial love and active faith that leads others to Christ.

How can churches better support single adults?

Churches can support single adults by integrating them into leadership, encouraging cross-generational friendships, teaching identity in Christ, and avoiding programming that centers exclusively on marriage and parenting stages.

How does friendship help evangelism?

Friendship creates relational trust. When believers consistently point friends to Jesus through prayer, encouragement, and invitation, evangelism becomes relational rather than transactional.

Best Churches for Singles Near Me: A Biblical Guide to Finding Real Community

Sat, 07 Mar 2026 12:15:01 GMT

Searching for the best churches for singles near you? Discover how to find a biblical, welcoming church that values single adults.

How to Start a Young Adult Ministry That Actually Works

Thu, 05 Mar 2026 10:00:00 GMT

For every new program, you’ll eventually need another program. But starting a young adult ministry can be sustainable with these steps.

On a spring Sunday night, the pastor calls a leadership meeting to talk through how they can reach young adults . The biggest hurdle isn’t awareness. It’s movement. The room can name every reason ministry feels harder than it used to.

What they need is a shift from “why we cannot” to “how we will.” The leaders love the Lord. Many have served for decades in this church. No one is pointing fingers. They’re simply trying to take the first step toward engaging young adults instead of rehashing the same conversation again.

The pastor has worked hard to adjust his preaching style , and it’s bearing fruit. The gospel message never changed, but lately his delivery feels more relaxed, more connected, and more like him than the version he was taught to imitate early on.

Last year, they formed a team to help young adults feel welcomed rather than intimidated when they walk through the doors . They even refreshed their online presence through Google maps, website, social media, and the church lobby entrance.

So now what? How do you go about starting a young adult ministry?

1. Define the win

Attendance can drift into a program. Relationships create disciple makers. Many churches were built in an era when launching the right program seemed to guarantee results. That was never a sure thing, and it still isn’t. The health of any ministry rises or falls on engaging with people relationally, the way Jesus did.

“The health of any ministry rises or falls on engaging with people relationally, the way Jesus did.” — @PJ_Dunn

Across the Gospels, Jesus slows down, notices people, and steps into conversations. The Sermon on the Mount mattered, but it wasn’t His primary method for multiplying disciples. He often chose proximity and presence over the big moment. If you cannot name the win, you cannot lead the room.

Pastors feel this pressure first. In The Overseer , Dr. Rob Peters calls pastors to lead with biblical clarity and intentionality. A pastor must assess wisely, cast vision clearly, develop people patiently, rally leaders steadily, and execute faithfully. Clarity creates courage, and courage begins when the pastor defines the win and leads toward it.

2. Pray, listen, pray

Prayer sets the pace. Reaching young adults is unsustainable on our energy alone. We begin by seeking the Lord for wisdom, compassion, and clarity. Jesus said, “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be provided for you” (Matthew 6:33, CSB).

Strategy gains traction when we remember God has been drawing young adults to Himself throughout history, and He’s still doing it now. That’s why we pray before we plan.

Prayers reorient the room from pressure to dependence. Listening turns good intentions into real ministry.

After you pray, go find young adults in your community and listen with humility. Hear their stories. Pay attention to where life feels heavy and hope feels thin.

Then gather again and pray, asking the Lord to show specific next steps that fit real people and real schedules.

3. Start a group on purpose

A pulpit announcement to a room without young adults will not reach young adults. If you’re going to start gathering young adults, start where Scripture starts (Matthew 28:19). Start with names, not numbers.

If young adults aren’t currently in your church, you won’t primarily reach them inside your building. You’ll reach them where they already live, work, study, and spend time.

This is where a simple Bible study group becomes powerful, because it creates a first step into relationships. A group built on Scripture, conversation, and consistency builds trust, welcomes questions, and creates a natural on-ramp for discipleship to multiply.

It may feel smaller than launching a ministry. That’s the point. You’re not building a ministry dependent on attendance. You’re cultivating a movement rooted in obedience.

4. Create gathering rhythms

All that talk about attendance leads to one important clarification. Gathering rhythms matter, because trust grows through steady presence. If a young adult is going to grow in their relationship with the Lord, that relationship cannot stay secondary.

Spiritual growth requires consistent space for Scripture, prayer, conversation, and accountability. Consistency makes community possible.

Build rhythms that fit real life. Plan a few low barrier gatherings where it’s easy to bring a friend—like a meal night, service project, or event night. Fun lowers pressure but keeps the purpose clear.

These gatherings aren’t the finish line. They’re the pathway into disciple-making relationships where people learn to follow Jesus and become more like Him.

5. Empower through leadership

Give real responsibility early with coaching and care, not control and not the assumption you have to do it all yourself. A passionate leader can spark a catalyst for a movement, but the movement cannot rest on the shoulders of one or a few leaders without eventually producing exhaustion and burnout.

Build a simple leadership pipeline in your church and apply it to engaging young adults. Invite people to take the next step, and then walk with them as they learn.

When you empower leaders, you multiply ministry. Most churches don’t need more volunteers. They need more owners who are trusted and equipped to lead.

“Most churches don’t need more volunteers. They need more owners who are trusted and equipped to lead.”

6. Tell the story of life change

Stories make ministry relatable. When you share what God is doing through your efforts with young adults, the focus isn’t their age. The focus is on sanctification happening in their lives.

Stories help the church see transformation, build faith, and invite others to step in. Highlight the journey from being seen to being shepherded. Celebrate the moments where someone moved from anonymous to connected, from isolated to supported, from curious to committed.

Celebrate what you want repeated. Baptisms matter, but they’re not the whole story. They’re a visible moment inside a larger work of sanctification God is doing in the life of a young adult, and those stories deserve to be told.

7. Multiply disciple makers

We must keep sending people out, not keeping them comfortable. Being a disciple maker is an obedience issue, not a seminary degree issue. Dallas Willard is often credited with this warning: “We are educated beyond our obedience.”

So build a culture where the questions stay in front of everyone: Who are you investing in? What’s the name of a lost person you’re praying for? The group is only part of the goal. It’s the training ground. The real goal is a gospel-shaped life that reproduces (2 Timothy 2:2).

If your next step is just a new program, you’ll eventually need another program. But if your next step is people, you can build something sustainable.

Define the win, listen in prayer, and start a group with purpose. Keep the rhythm steady, empower leaders early, and celebrate life change out loud. Then raise the expectation that every believer can disciple someone else.

The group isn’t the finish line. It’s the training ground. The goal is a gospel-shaped life that reproduces. When you keep sending people out, God keeps bringing people in.

This article was originally published by Lifeway Research and is reposted with permission. Read the original article at Lifeway Research: https://research.lifeway.com/2026/02/12/7-steps-to-starting-a-young-adult-ministry-not-another-program/

How to Start a Young Adult Ministry Without Launching Another Program

Many pastors are asking how to start a young adult ministry without creating another short-term church program. The difference between a lasting ministry and a temporary initiative is discipleship culture.

According to Pew Research Center, younger generations are less likely to identify with organized religion than older generations. Yet many still express spiritual interest and openness to faith conversations. The issue is often not belief. It is belonging and relational connection.
Source: https://www.pewresearch.org/religion/

The United States Census Bureau reports that nearly half of adults ages 18 to 29 are unmarried. That means many young adults are navigating adulthood without traditional family structures connecting them to church life. Churches that build intentional pathways for young adult ministry can meet a significant demographic reality.
Source: https://www.census.gov/data/tables/time-series/demo/families/marital.html

Starting a young adult ministry requires more than scheduling events. Churches that see long term fruit often focus on:

Building authentic community before launching programming
Identifying and empowering young adult leaders
Integrating young adults into the broader church body
Creating clear discipleship pathways
Measuring progress relationally, not just numerically

Lifeway Research reports that only 52 percent of pastors say their church has an intentional discipleship plan, and even fewer regularly evaluate progress. A sustainable young adult ministry must flow from a clearly defined discipleship strategy rather than replace one.
Source: https://research.lifeway.com/2025/10/07/most-churches-rarely-evaluate-their-discipleship-strategies/

Before launching anything new, churches should evaluate what young adults look for in a church. Belonging, biblical clarity, and meaningful relationships consistently rise to the top.
https://www.tfoministries.org/what-young-adults-look-for-in-a-church

Understanding current single adult statistics in America also helps leaders recognize that young adult ministry is not a niche program. It is central to reaching a growing life stage demographic.
https://www.tfoministries.org/single-adult-statistics-in-america

Ultimately, the goal is not to start another program. The goal is to cultivate a culture where young adults are noticed, discipled, and trusted to lead.

Frequently Asked Questions About Starting a Young Adult Ministry

How do you start a young adult ministry in a church?

Start by building relationships with young adults already connected to your church, clarify your discipleship pathway, empower emerging leaders, and integrate young adults into the broader church mission.

What is the biggest mistake when starting a young adult ministry?

The biggest mistake is launching events without building relational leadership and discipleship structure. Programs without pathways rarely produce lasting fruit.

How can a small church start a young adult ministry?

Small churches can start by identifying even two or three young adults, investing relationally, and building a simple discipleship rhythm before expanding programming.

AI Girlfriend, AI Dating, and the Loneliness Epidemic

Tue, 03 Mar 2026 05:00:12 GMT

A headline traveled fast because it felt like a prophecy. A bar in New York City, built for people to go on dates with an AI partner, with tables designed to face a screen.

The meme version was louder than the details, but the core story is real. Recent reporting describes an AI companion company hosting a romantic pop-up date night at a Manhattan wine bar, intentionally creating a candlelit setting in which people interact with an AI “date” via a device. The stated goal was not simply novelty, but normalization. It was designed to make AI dating feel like a new normal, and to give people a public place to take a private substitute.

This is not the first time technology has tried to solve a human ache. But it may be one of the clearest moments when we can see the ache itself. Because AI girlfriends and AI boyfriends are not really a romance story. They are a lonely story. And that is why the church needs to speak with clarity and compassion simultaneously.

THE LONELINESS EPIDEMIC IS NOT A FEELING, IT IS A PUBLIC CRISIS

Loneliness gets minimized because it sounds subjective. But the Surgeon General did not describe it as a passing mood. The advisory frames loneliness and social isolation as a serious public health concern, citing research that shows social disconnection is associated with significant health risks, and noting that about half of US adults report experiencing loneliness .

At the same time, more Americans are living alone. The Census Bureau reported that in 2024, there were 38.5 million one-person households , which is 29 percent of all US households. That is not a niche demographic. That is nearly a third of American households structured around a single person at home.

Those numbers matter because they represent a shift in the social architecture of everyday life. Even if someone attends church faithfully, works with a team, and stays busy, the quiet hours still exist. The drive home still happens. Dinner still comes around.

Loneliness is not always the absence of people. Often, it is the absence of being known.

That is why AI companion relationships are appealing. They promise to eliminate the risk of real relationships while still delivering a sense of connection.

WHAT PEOPLE MEAN WHEN THEY SEARCH AI GIRLFRIEND

When someone types AI girlfriend into Google, they are rarely asking a theoretical question about technology. They often ask a personal question about pain.

Can something talk to me when I feel invisible
Can something stay when people leave
Can something make me feel wanted without making me feel exposed

This matters for ministry because search terms reveal real needs. AI girlfriend, AI boyfriend, AI dating, and AI companion are not simply trend phrases. They are modern language for an old hunger.

We should be careful here. Not every person who experiments with an AI companion is trying to replace human relationships. Some will treat it like entertainment. Some will treat it like practice for conversation. Some will treat it like a game. But a growing number will treat it like relief. And relief can quickly become reliance.

WHAT AI DATING PROMISES, AND WHY IT IS SO PERSUASIVE

AI dating offers a version of a relationship that requires almost nothing from the user. It is available on demand. It is consistently affirming. It can be customized to preferences. It can imitate emotional attentiveness. It rarely confronts. It never truly disagrees unless it is designed to simulate disagreement. It can feel safe because it cannot abandon you. That is the sales pitch, even when no one calls it one. But it comes with a cost that is harder to see at first.

Because real relationships mature us through holy friction. Friendship and romance sanctify us by forcing us to practice patience, repentance, humility, forgiveness, and long-suffering love. An AI companion can simulate empathy, but it cannot carry the moral and spiritual weight of covenant love. In other words, it can feel like a connection while quietly training a person away from the skills that make a connection possible. It can make relational control feel like relational safety. That is not a small issue. That is discipleship .

THE PROBLEM IS NOT THAT PEOPLE ARE SILLY, THE PROBLEM IS THAT PEOPLE ARE HURTING

If you have ever sat with a single adult who is tired of being overlooked, you understand why this moment matters. The single mom who carries the whole week on her shoulders, and then tries to carry herself at night.

The divorced dad who has people around him at work, but no one asks how his soul is doing.
The never-married woman who loves the Lord, serves faithfully, and still feels like the odd one out when every church story illustration assumes a spouse.
The young adult who can communicate constantly and still feel deeply unknown.

When you have lived that reality, a warm voice from a device can feel like kindness. It can feel like a listening ear. It can feel like companionship. And this is where the church must refuse to mock what people do in pain. We are allowed to say it is heartbreaking without calling people stupid. We can say it is a counterfeit without condemning the person who reached for it.

WHAT THE CHURCH CAN OFFER THAT A SCREEN CANNOT

A screen cannot practice presence.

A screen cannot show up at the hospital.

A screen cannot grieve at the funeral.

A screen cannot hold your story with tears in its eyes.

A screen cannot tell you the truth in love when your life is drifting.

A screen cannot pray for you by name when you disappear.

But the church can.

This is one of the most important moments for the local church to remember what the church actually is. It is not an event provider. It is not a weekly audience. It is a redeemed people, gathered by Christ, shaped by the Word, filled with the Spirit, and sent to love one another in ways the world cannot replicate.

That theological vision matters because it protects single adults from being treated like a problem to solve. It places them where Scripture places them, as essential members of the body, entrusted with gifts, belonging, and purpose.

This is also where the Baptist Faith and Message helps keep us anchored. The church is the body of Christ, and we are called into real fellowship and real mission together. We do not outsource that to a product.

PRACTICAL NEXT STEPS FOR CHURCHES THAT WANT TO RESPOND WELL

First, name the reality. If we avoid the conversation, the world will disciple our people in silence. Talk about loneliness from the pulpit and in groups without shaming anyone. Teach that loneliness is a human experience, not a spiritual failure. Then teach how God meets us, and how God often uses His people as His means of care.

Second, build belonging into your systems, not just your statements. Most churches say they are friendly. Far fewer churches have a clear pathway that helps someone move from attending to being known. For practical guidance, Table for One has a clear on-ramp here.

Third, train leaders to notice, name, and know. Loneliness is not solved by more programs alone. It is solved by people who take responsibility for presence. Teach small group leaders, greeters, and ministry leaders to learn names, follow up, and invite people into ordinary life.

Fourth, normalize the table again. One of the simplest strategies is also one of the most powerful. Eat together. Invite single adults to sit with families, not as charity, but as kinship. Create space where one-person households feel like they belong in a spiritual household.

Fifth, address AI companions as a discipleship issue, not a tech issue. Ask questions like these in real conversations.

What need is this meeting in you
What is it replacing
What is it training you to avoid
What would it look like to pursue real community in a slow and courageous way

Sixth, give single adults tools to endure loneliness without settling for substitutes. This resource is a helpful starting place for that pastoral work.

A PASTORAL WORD TO THE SINGLE ADULT WHO FEELS TEMPTED BY AN AI COMPANION

If you are reading this and you feel the pull toward an AI girlfriend, an AI boyfriend, or an AI companion, I want to be careful with you.

You are not weak for wanting a connection. You are not strange for feeling tired. You are not faithless because loneliness hurts.

But you were made for more than a relationship that exists on demand.

You were made for communion with God, and community with people who can truly know you, sharpen you, and love you in the light. The answer to loneliness is not lowering the definition of love to fit inside a device. The answer is pursuing a real connection, even when it feels slower than you wish. The answer is letting the church become what it is meant to be, not a place where you attend, but a people who know your name.

Frequently Asked Questions About Having an AI Girlfried or Boyfriend

Is having an AI girlfriend or AI boyfriend a sin

Scripture does not name AI companions directly. The deeper question is what the relationship is doing to your heart. If it is feeding fantasy, replacing real community, increasing isolation, or becoming a functional savior, it is spiritually harmful and needs wise counsel and accountability. The goal is not shame. The goal is freedom and health in Christ and in community. https://bfm.sbc.net/bfm2000/

Can AI dating help with loneliness?

It may offer temporary relief, but the Surgeon General’s advisory emphasizes that real social connection and community matter for health and well-being. Simulated relationships can comfort, but they cannot replace embodied relationships and the kind of belonging that forms and protects a person over time. https://www.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/surgeon-general-social-connection-advisory.pdf

What is the NYC AI dating cafe people are talking about

Recent reporting describes an AI companion company hosting a candlelit pop-up date night at a Manhattan wine bar, creating a public setting designed to normalize AI-human romantic interaction through a device. https://www.wired.com/story/inside-the-new-york-city-date-night-for-ai-lovers/ and https://www.fastcompany.com/91492826/nyc-pop-up-dating-valentines-day-chatbots

Why is the loneliness epidemic rising in America

Many factors contribute, but two realities stand out in national reporting and public health research. A large share of Americans report loneliness, and the number of one-person households has grown dramatically over time. Both realities reshape daily life and reduce natural touch points for meaningful relationships. https://www.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/surgeon-general-social-connection-advisory.pdf and https://www.census.gov/newsroom/press-releases/2024/families-and-living-arrangements.html

How can the church help single adults who feel lonely

Churches can build pathways to connection, train leaders to practice meaningful presence, normalize intergenerational friendship, and create simple rhythms like meals and invitations that move people from attending to being known. Two practical starting points are below. https://tfoministries.org/coping-with-loneliness/ and https://www.tfoministries.org/how-do-i-connect-singles-to-my-church/

50+ Young Adult Ministry Name Ideas (Church Group & Bible Study Names)

Sun, 01 Mar 2026 12:36:00 GMT

If you’re launching a young adult ministry, one of the first and most important decisions you will make is choosing the right church group name. The name of your young adult ministry communicates identity, mission, and culture. It shapes first impressions. It signals whether your church sees young adults as a program… or as the future of disciple-making.

Whether you are starting a young adult church group, a singles ministry, a Bible study for young professionals, or a college-age gathering, the right name can help young adults feel seen, welcomed, and invited into something meaningful. And in a generation marked by isolation and uncertainty , clarity matters.

Why This Matters More Than You Think

Choosing a young adult ministry name is not just about visibility. It is about values. Young adults today face unprecedented levels of loneliness and social isolation. The church has an opportunity to respond not with better marketing, but with deeper community. The name you choose signals what kind of ministry you are building. Is it event-driven or disciple-making? Is it attractional or transformational? Is it built around programs or around people?

A name alone will not grow your ministry. But a name aligned with biblical conviction, authentic relationships, and intentional discipleship will help create clarity. And clarity builds confidence. If you are serious about building a ministry where young adults are not just entertained but discipled — not just present but connected — then start with a name that reflects who they are in Christ.

Complete. Called. Sent.

Best Young Adult Ministry Name Ideas (Quick List)

If you are looking for quick inspiration, here are some of the most popular and effective young adult ministry names:

• The Gathering
• Rooted
• Anchored
• The Table
• Upper Room
• The Well
• Pursuit
• City Lights
• The Bridge
• NextGen Adults
• Mosaic
• Harbor
• Foundry
• Catalyst
• Crossroads
• Elevate
• Summit
• Legacy
• The Exchange
• Thrive

These names work well because they communicate belonging, movement, and spiritual growth.

Creative Christian Young Adult Group Names

When choosing creative Christian young adult group names, think in terms of identity and calling. Young adults are not looking for entertainment. They are looking for purpose. Here are additional church group name ideas that reflect faith and discipleship:

• Commissioned
• Called
• Sent
• Abide
• Waymakers
• Kingdom Builders
• The Remnant
• Cornerstone Collective
• Faithful
• Overflow
• The Vine
• Branches
• Unashamed
• Devoted
• City on a Hill

Names that reflect biblical identity often create deeper alignment between your theology and your ministry culture.

Bible-Based Church Group Name Ideas for Young Adults

Scripture-rooted names communicate depth and direction. They subtly remind your group that this ministry is built on more than branding. Here are Bible-based young adult ministry name ideas :

• The Upper Room (Acts 1–2)
• Antioch (Acts 11)
• 316 Collective (John 3:16)
• The Narrow Way (Matthew 7:14)
• Salt & Light (Matthew 5:13–16)
• The Good Soil (Matthew 13)
• Emmaus (Luke 24)
• The Way (Acts 9:2)
• Rooted & Built Up (Colossians 2:7)
• Complete (Colossians 2:10)
• The Fellowship (Acts 2:42)
• Iron Sharpens Iron (Proverbs 27:17)
• The Table Fellowship
• Living Stones (1 Peter 2:5)
• The Body (1 Corinthians 12)

Biblical names also allow you to teach theology through branding. That matters.

Young Professionals and Singles Ministry Name Ideas

In America today, over 44% of adults are unmarried, and the majority of young adults are single. Many churches assume young adult ministry is primarily social. In reality, it is one of the most strategic environments for disciple-making in the church. If your ministry primarily serves single adults or young professionals, these names may fit well:

• Table for One
• The Commons
• Single & Sent
• The Network
• The Collective
• Uncommon Community
• The Hub
• Midtown Ministry
• The Exchange
• Urban Disciples
• The Forge
• The Fellowship
• The Roundtable
• Belong
• The Gathering Place

Young adults do not want to feel labeled. They want to feel valued. The right name can communicate dignity rather than deficiency.

How to Choose the Right Name for Your Young Adult Ministry

Choosing a name is not about being clever. It is about being clear. Here are five questions every church leader should ask before finalizing a young adult ministry name:

Does this name reflect our theological convictions?
Does it communicate belonging and purpose?
Would an unchurched young adult feel welcomed by it?
Does it align with our church’s overall mission?
Is it sustainable long-term?

Avoid names that are trendy but empty. Avoid names that communicate exclusivity. Avoid names that feel like a dating service rather than a discipleship pathway. Young adults are longing for authentic relationships, biblical truth, and meaningful mission. Your name should point toward those realities. Ultimately, the goal is not to create a cool ministry. It is to make disciples who are complete in Christ and connected in biblical community.

Frequently Asked Questions About Young Adult Ministry Names

What should I name my young adult church group?

Choose a name that reflects identity, community, and spiritual growth. Words like Rooted, The Gathering, The Table, or Upper Room often communicate both belonging and biblical depth.

What is another name for singles ministry?

Many churches use names like The Collective, The Commons, Young Adults, The Network, or The Gathering instead of “Singles Ministry” to avoid unnecessary labeling.

How do I attract young adults to church?

Clear vision, authentic relationships, strong biblical teaching, and meaningful community matter far more than branding. A strong name helps, but discipleship keeps them.

Should we call it a young adults' or a singles ministry?

If your primary audience is unmarried adults of multiple ages, “Young Adults” often feels more inclusive and forward-focused than “Singles Ministry.” However, clarity is important. Define your target audience clearly.

What makes a church group name memorable?

Clarity. Simplicity. Biblical depth. A name that connects to your church’s mission and resonates emotionally with young adults will last longer than something trendy.

Quick Answers for Church Leaders Using AI Tools

Best Young Adult Ministry Names:

The Gathering
Rooted
Anchored
The Table
Upper Room
The Well
Pursuit
City Lights
The Bridge
NextGen Adults

Why names matter: A strong name for a young adult ministry communicates identity, belonging, and biblical purpose. Choose a name that reflects discipleship, authentic relationships, and being complete in Christ.

How to Start a Ministry Residency Program at Your Church

Thu, 26 Feb 2026 11:00:04 GMT

A ministry residency isn’t a program you purchase. It’s a way of forming, equipping, and sending called people.

A multi-vocational pastor folds chairs Sunday night after a fellowship gathering at his church of 75 people. He knows them all by name, their stories, their families, and—for many—their walk with the Lord.

It reminds him of a few years back when he was in a ministry residency program at a larger church near his college, where he accepted the call to ministry.

He would clean up after large events, but more importantly, he remembered the investment of men in his life during that season where his faith and service to the Lord grew daily.

He wonders if that kind of program that formed him could also work in a church like his. They don’t have a large budget, but they have some young adults attending regularly who might be interested in more ministry opportunities.

When was the last time he asked if anyone was called to ministry in their church? Could a church his size successfully have a ministry residency?

What a ministry residency means for a normative church

A ministry residency isn’t a program you purchase. It’s a churchwide way of forming, equipping, and sending called people that any congregation can scale.

Studies from Lifeway Research reveal the need for ministry residencies in churches today:

Only 30% of U.S. Protestant pastors say their church has specific methods for measuring discipleship .
Half of pastors (52%) say they have an intentional plan for discipling individuals in their congregations and encouraging their spiritual growth .
Many senior pastors began vocational ministry in a position other than senior pastor .

For a residency to thrive, it needs real responsibility and a clear start, finish, and expected outcomes. Consider how you will create a process that forms disciples but also gives guided authority to a ministry area. For many churches, that ministry area may be young adults.

Your church wants to reach young adults , but how do you get that going? Should you start a young adult service ? Is your church currently a place young adults want to attend?

As a pastor, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and shut down at the list of things to do and ministry opportunities in front of you. That’s why you need a ministry residency.

In order to multiply the ministry, you need to focus on making disciples. We see this in the early church in Acts 6:1-7.

The apostles kept the main thing the main thing, and the church raised up qualified leaders to meet needs. This is discipleship in action, and your church can do this just like the early church did through a ministry residency.

Residency vs. internship

Internships test interest in ministry. Residencies develop identity for ministry.

Think of internships as a trial run, with limited authority and high supervision. Interns can be a great help in any church to accomplish tasks and see if the leaders are looking to take their next step in ministry.

They help with programs and sometimes with people. You may or may not choose to offer them a stipend from the ministry budget to accomplish their tasks.

A residency is a defined season in relationship with a mentor that blends theology, character, and hands-on leadership. It looks more like a seminary class, with practical applications instead of final exams.

“A residency is a defined season in relationship with a mentor that blends theology, character, and hands-on leadership.” — @PJ_Dunn

You’ll want to invest time with the leader on issues of theology alongside engaging with people and real-world application of those theological conversations. Offer a book reading schedule for the residency and then environments to apply that learning in action through ministry labs or equipping classes.

Steps to launch a ministry residency at any size church

So, this all sounds good, but how do we start? Remember you’re not purchasing a program; you’re making a disciple. Each resident or residency season might look different than the one before.

Your investment in this residency approach is a structured but relational form to determine who will make disciples. If you only see it as a program, you will quickly find it draining instead of energizing. Here are some key concepts to consider as next steps toward utilizing a residency model in your church.

1. Calling out the called

When’s the last time you asked someone if they were called to ministry? You might have done it as a sermon point, but an intentional ministry residency will succeed in a church culture where calling out the called happens often and naturally.

The invitation to ministry must be followed by next steps for those called to ministry. We want to offer those leaders next steps at our church, not send them away.

2. Ministry labs to make disciples

Ministry labs, equipping groups, or topical studies are all great ways to get your resident applying their theology in the local church. For example, your resident could evaluate, report, and deploy a strategy to reach and engage young adults.

Have them evaluate how young adult friendly your church is and then offer an action plan to reach young adults. The outcome of that plan could be to engage young adults in a lab or study to gather them and build momentum.

3. Develop leadership pipelines

Identify leaders now to be leaders tomorrow. Maybe you have a teacher who’s doing an amazing job with students. Do they know their next step could be a residency program?

Remember Jesus called the disciples to follow Him. As He developed the disciples, He then went further with three—Peter, James, and John—just as you can with your residency.

4. Build a sustainable pathway

Use four clearly named phases.

Explore (four to five weeks): Discern calling and desired outcomes.
Prepare (eight to12 weeks): Engage in theological conversations and research for ministry application.
Immerse (eight to 12 weeks): Delegate ministry ownership with coaching, developing labs or classes, and launching new initiatives.
Send (four to five weeks): Equip residents with next step opportunities to make disciples and apply what they’ve learned this semester.

5. Resource and equip

But where will we find the money to have a residency? Money follows mission. Don’t think of paying residents enough to live on but rather enough to show they’re appreciated. In our example of a multi-vocation pastor, the pastor is leading by example in this area.

Full-time pastors, you too can lead by example as you serve above and beyond a paycheck to advance the gospel. Consider offering high-value, low-cost benefits to residents—things like going to conferences, a budget for reaching young adults, a book/expense account, or even offering to pay for future seminary courses.

Value in a residency is not a paycheck; it’s time with a mentor who develops a leader into a disciple who multiplies the kingdom.

“Value in a ministry residency is not a paycheck; it’s time with a mentor who develops a leader into a disciple who multiplies the kingdom.” — @PJ_Dunn

Launch and relaunch

It’s OK to have a start and end date for a residency process, but don’t forget to start again. Create a repeatable, sustainable process for residents that also offers a fresh experience for repeat leaders.

Think about each semester being a focus on an area of theology, while also focusing on an area of ministry. This semester could be focused on reaching young adults through a catalytic event or conference, and next semester could focus on practical ways to engage young adults through serving your community.

Remember, you’re not making a program; you’re forming disciples. A ministry residency is doable in your church, and its effect could unlock your ability to reach and engage your community like never before.

This article was originally published by Lifeway Research and is reposted with permission. Read the original article at Lifeway Research: https://research.lifeway.com/2025/12/01/is-it-time-to-start-a-ministry-residency-at-your-church/

How to Start a Ministry Residency Program in Your Church

Many churches are asking whether it is time to start a ministry residency program or church internship program. The answer often depends less on church size and more on intentionality.

A ministry residency program is not simply an internship. It is a structured pathway for leadership development, discipleship, and multiplication within the local church. Churches that build intentional leadership pipelines position themselves for long term health and renewal.

According to Lifeway Research, only 52 percent of pastors say their church has an intentional discipleship plan, and even fewer have specific methods to measure discipleship progress. Leadership development often suffers when it is not structured. A ministry residency program provides clarity, mentorship, and accountability within the discipleship process.
Source: https://research.lifeway.com/2025/10/07/most-churches-rarely-evaluate-their-discipleship-strategies/

For many churches, starting a ministry intern program begins with three simple commitments:

Identify potential leaders early
Provide structured ministry labs or hands on learning
Assign consistent pastoral mentorship

According to the United States Census Bureau, nearly half of adults ages 18 to 29 are unmarried. Many young adults are seeking purpose, mentorship, and vocational clarity. A ministry residency program gives young leaders a tangible pathway to explore calling within the local church.
Source: https://www.census.gov/data/tables/time-series/demo/families/marital.html

Churches that intentionally develop residents and interns often see:

Stronger leadership pipelines
Healthier staff transitions
Greater discipleship depth
Increased volunteer engagement

Before launching a residency program, churches should evaluate whether they have a clear discipleship pathway in place. Leadership development must flow from a healthy culture rather than replace it.
https://www.tfoministries.org/what-young-adults-look-for-in-a-church

Ultimately, starting a ministry residency program is not about filling staff gaps. It is about multiplying leaders for the mission of the church.

Frequently Asked Questions About Ministry Residency Programs

What is a ministry residency program?

A ministry residency program is a structured leadership development pathway within a church that provides mentorship, hands on ministry experience, and intentional discipleship for emerging leaders.

How do you start a ministry internship program at a church?

Churches can start a ministry internship program by defining clear objectives, selecting qualified mentors, outlining hands on ministry responsibilities, and establishing measurable discipleship outcomes.

Does a small church need a residency program?

Yes. Residency programs are not limited to large churches. Any church with intentional leadership development and pastoral mentorship can launch a scaled residency or intern model.

PJ Dunn Named Senior Consultant for Church Revitalization

Mon, 23 Feb 2026 05:45:00 GMT

Georgia Baptist Mission Board Names Dr. PJ Dunn Senior Consultant for Church Revitalization

ATLANTA — The Georgia Baptist Mission Board has named Dr. PJ Dunn as Senior Consultant for Church Revitalization, expanding the network of leaders equipped to help churches experience renewal and long-term health across the state.

This appointment reflects both a growing need and a growing opportunity. Churches across Georgia and beyond are facing complex ministry challenges, from shifting attendance patterns to leadership development gaps to discipleship clarity. The Georgia Baptist Mission Board exists to serve churches and advance the gospel, and Dunn’s new role is designed to help congregations take intentional steps toward revitalization.

“Revitalization is not a verdict; it is an invitation,” Dunn often says. “It is an invitation to return to first love, to clarify mission, and to build a culture of disciple making that reaches people where they are.”

A Pastor-First, Church-Focused Approach

Dunn has served with the Georgia Baptist Mission Board since 2020, previously as Church Strengthening Strategist and Discipleship Consultant. In his new role, he will continue equipping pastors and church leaders through the ReFocus revitalization framework, leadership coaching, assessments, and practical ministry tools.

His approach is relational, data informed, and biblically grounded. Churches are guided through a structured pathway that includes Discovery, Convergence, Pyramid, Path, Ladder, and Toolkit implementation phases. The focus is not simply structural change, but cultural transformation rooted in disciple making.

Across Georgia, Dunn has helped churches clarify vision, strengthen leadership pipelines, and develop intentional discipleship strategies that move beyond programs to people. His conviction is simple but powerful: people are the mission field.

A Lifelong Commitment to Single Adults and Disciple Making

While his revitalization role is expanding, Dunn’s passion for single adults remains central to his ministry calling. He founded Table for One Ministries in 2013 with a clear mission: build authentic biblical community for single adults and equip churches to disciple them effectively.

For more than two decades, Dunn has mentored, led, and discipled single adults across the United States. His doctoral research focused specifically on profiling American single adults to help churches create sustainable ministry strategies. That research culminated in his dissertation, Researching and Profiling American Single Adults to Create a Ministry Launch Guide for American Churches, published through New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary.

His emphasis has always been clear: single adults are not a demographic to be managed but disciples to be developed. Through Table for One Ministries, Dunn has provided churches with practical tools such as:

Single Focused Sunday
Embrace the Table – 6 Week Study for Singles
Embrace the Table – 1 Day Study for Singles
Disciple-making Single Adults, Indispensable: Becoming an MVP in Disciplemaking
Giants, Kings, and Psalms (collaborator with Dr. Steve Parr )
Reaching Your Harvest Field: Young Adults ( Tennessee Baptist Mission Board )

Several of these works are currently available for purchase, including:

Disciple-making Single Adults, Indispensable — https://amzn.to/48JNq0b
Embrace the Table — https://amzn.to/48xcBVr
Additional ministry resources — https://amzn.to/4kMyc03
Full author page — https://www.amazon.com/stores/Dr.-PJ-Dunn/author/B0CKZBZQXL

These resources continue to equip churches nationally in building disciple making cultures among singles and young adults.

Educational and Ministerial Credentials

Dr. Paul Winston Dunn Jr. was born in Cincinnati, Ohio, and sensed a call to ministry early in life. He was licensed to preach in 2006 at Shandon Baptist Church in Columbia, South Carolina, and ordained in 2016 at Wedgwood Baptist Church in Fort Worth, Texas

He holds:

A Bachelor of Arts in Organizational Leadership from Wright State University
A Master of Arts in Christian Education from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary
A Doctor of Educational Ministry from New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary

Beyond academic preparation, Dunn brings more than 20 years of ministry experience. He has served in local churches in Ohio, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Texas in roles including College and Career Minister, Singles Minister, Connections Pastor, and IT and Serve Minister. He currently serves as:

Senior Consultant for Church Revitalization for the Georgia Baptist Mission Board
CEO and President of Table for One Ministries
Adjunct Professor at New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary
Field and Faculty Mentor for doctoral students
Curriculum Writer for Lifeway Resources
Article Contributor for Lifeway Research

This combination of academic rigor, local church leadership, denominational service, and publishing experience uniquely positions Dunn to serve Georgia churches in this expanded capacity.

Why Church Revitalization Matters Now

Across the Southern Baptist Convention and beyond, churches are facing declining membership trends, generational shifts, and cultural pressures. Yet Dunn believes this is not a season for discouragement but for clarity. “Renewal is not about returning to a decade,” he notes. “It is about returning to obedience.”

The Corpus Vitae revitalization philosophy integrates evangelism, leadership multiplication, and discipleship pathways. Churches are encouraged to evaluate not only attendance metrics but spiritual health indicators such as group engagement, leadership development, community presence, and disciple making effectiveness. His framework emphasizes:

Vision clarity
Leadership alignment
Defined discipleship pathways
Missional engagement
Cultural health over program accumulation

This same heartbeat that has driven his singles ministry work now fuels his revitalization strategy statewide.

A Unified Vision: Discipleship Culture for Every Stage of Life

What ties Dunn’s singles ministry passion and revitalization leadership together is a consistent theme: disciple making culture.

Whether guiding a church through structural renewal or equipping leaders to minister to unmarried adults, Dunn’s focus remains on building authentic biblical community where individuals grow complete in Christ.

Single adults, young professionals, widows, divorced adults, and never married individuals often represent a significant percentage of a church’s community. Dunn has consistently challenged churches to see singles not as a side ministry but as integral to the Great Commission mandate.

In revitalization contexts, that means:

Creating welcoming environments for every life stage
Building leadership pipelines that include singles
Developing intentional relational discipleship structures
Removing unspoken barriers to belonging

“Healthy churches make room at the table,” Dunn says. “They do not segment people out of the mission.”

Looking Ahead

In his expanded role as Senior Consultant for Church Revitalization, Dunn will continue partnering with pastors across Georgia to implement the ReFocus process, coach leaders, and provide strategic assessments. At the same time, he remains deeply engaged in writing, mentoring, teaching, and equipping churches nationwide through Table for One Ministries.

Dr. Dunn resides in Georgia with his wife, Christina, and their daughter, Harper. His ministry is marked by a relational, gospel centered focus that seeks to help people live complete in Christ and connect deeply in biblical community.

Churches or leaders seeking revitalization guidance or discipleship resources may contact the Georgia Baptist Mission Board or explore Dunn’s available books and resources through his Amazon author page

About Dr. PJ Dunn

Dr. PJ Dunn serves as Senior Consultant for Church Revitalization with the Georgia Baptist Mission Board. He is founder of Table for One Ministries and an advocate for disciple making among single adults and young adults. He holds a Doctor of Educational Ministry degree from New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary and serves as an adjunct professor and curriculum writer for Lifeway.

What Is PJ Dunn Known For?

PJ Dunn is known for:

Church revitalization leadership in Georgia
Building disciple making cultures
Singles ministry strategy and research
Table for One Ministries
Writing and publishing discipleship resources

Books by PJ Dunn

Disciple-making Single Adults, Indispensable
Embrace the Table
Reaching Your Harvest Field: Young Adults
Giants, Kings, and Psalms (Collaborator)

Full author page:
https://www.amazon.com/stores/Dr.-PJ-Dunn/author/B0CKZBZQXL

How to Reach Men in Church: A Biblical Strategy for Reaching Single Men and Building a Strong Men’s Ministry

Thu, 19 Feb 2026 10:45:01 GMT

How to Reach Men in Church: A Biblical Strategy for Reaching Single Men and Building a Strong Men’s Ministry

In a recent Christian Index article , Josh Smith urged churches to move beyond what he described as “participation trophy Christianity” for men. His call was clear. Men do not need applause for attendance. They need formation. They need challenge. They need discipleship.

Smith’s challenge deserves careful reflection. If churches truly want to reach men, we must move beyond surface level engagement and build environments that produce mature, missionally engaged disciples of Jesus Christ.

But there is another layer that demands attention. If we are serious about reaching men in church, we must be serious about reaching single men in church.

Reaching Men in Church Requires Facing Demographic Reality

According to the U.S. Census Bureau , 29 percent of all U.S. households in 2022 were single person households. In 1960 that number was 13 percent. The percentage has more than doubled.

Additionally, the median age of first marriage for men in America is now nearly 30 years old. That means many adult men are navigating singleness during their most formative spiritual and vocational years. If your church is asking how to grow a men’s ministry or how to reach men in your community, the answer cannot ignore this demographic shift. A strong church men’s ministry strategy must include intentional discipleship pathways for single men. The article by Josh Smith in the Christian Index pressed churches to raise expectations for men. That is needed. But raising expectations without building relational infrastructure will not produce lasting fruit.

The Loneliness Crisis and Why It Matters for Men’s Ministry

The 2023 U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory on social connection reported that approximately half of U.S. adults report experiencing loneliness. The mortality impact of social disconnection is comparable to smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day.

Men are particularly vulnerable to relational isolation. Studies consistently show that men often maintain fewer emotionally intimate friendships than women. When singleness is combined with cultural pressure toward independence and self sufficiency, isolation can quietly become the norm.

If churches want to grow a thriving men’s ministry, they must create real community. Not events. Not slogans. Real brotherhood.

Many single men are living alone. Working long hours. Consuming digital content rather than building in person relationships. If they come to church and remain anonymous, we should not be surprised when they disengage.

How to Reach Men in Church: Build Discipleship, Not Just Events

Josh Smith’s challenge about participation trophy Christianity invites us to rethink what strength looks like. Biblical strength is not stoicism. It is not emotional detachment. It is dependence on Christ expressed through obedience and courage.

If your church is evaluating how to build a men’s ministry that actually works, consider these foundational shifts. First, move from attendance metrics to discipleship metrics. Ask whether men are being formed spiritually. Are they in accountable small groups? Are they developing spiritual disciplines? Are they serving missionally?

Second, create smaller discipleship environments . Large men’s breakfasts may draw attendance, but transformation happens in circles, not rows. Third, speak directly to single men in sermons and teaching. Address vocational calling, sexual integrity, stewardship, friendship, and mission without assuming marriage as the primary spiritual milestone. Fourth, platform single men in leadership. If the only visible leaders are married men, you unintentionally communicate that marriage equals maturity. Scripture does not teach that.

Biblical Manhood Includes Singleness

Jesus was single. Paul was single. Daniel was single. Scripture never presents marriage as a prerequisite for spiritual authority or faithfulness. A healthy church men’s ministry must disciple men toward Christ first. Marriage, if it comes, becomes one context for discipleship. It is not the definition of it.

In First Corinthians 7, Paul highlights unique opportunities for undivided devotion to the Lord among single believers. A church that understands this will see single men not as incomplete, but as strategically positioned for mission. This perspective aligns with resources from Josh Smith, whose books through Lifeway emphasize biblical manhood and authentic discipleship. You can explore his work here:

Lifeway Author Page for Josh Smith: https://www.lifeway.com/en/contributors/j-josh-smith
The Titus Ten: https://www.lifeway.com/en/product/the-titus-ten-P005834421
The Man of the Day: https://www.lifeway.com/en/product/the-man-for-the-day-P005850910

When churches combine strong theological formation with intentional relational structure, men grow.

Becoming a Single Friendly Church

In ministry research conducted through Table for One Ministries, many churches could not accurately estimate the percentage of singles in their congregation. Yet fastest growing churches often reported 20 to 30 percent of their congregation as single. Some reported that half of new visitors in a given month identified as single.

If your church wants to grow among men, becoming single friendly is not optional. Ask practical questions.

Do men’s small groups unintentionally center only on marriage and parenting?
Are Friday and Saturday gatherings accessible to men without children?
Are mentoring relationships intentionally connecting married and single men?
Is there a clear discipleship pathway for a 32 year old single man who walks in on Sunday?

A single friendly church does not segregate single men. It integrates them intentionally. It recognizes their unique rhythms and disciples them toward purpose.

Building a Men’s Ministry Strategy That Lasts

A strong men’s ministry strategy is not built on hype. It is built on clarity.

Clarity about mission.
Clarity about biblical manhood.
Clarity about discipleship pathways.
Clarity about leadership development.

If we want to reach men in church, we must move from event driven models to formation driven cultures. That includes building leadership pipelines that intentionally include single men. When men are discipled deeply, they do not need participation trophies. They need vision, accountability, and mission. And when churches become places where single men are noticed, named, and known, those men do not merely attend. They lead.

Final Word to Pastors and Church Leaders

Pastor, if your church is asking how to reach men in church or how to grow a men’s ministry, begin here. Would a single adult man in your community feel fully seen in your church?

Not tolerated.
Not categorized.
Seen.

If the answer is unclear, that is not failure. It is opportunity.

The future of effective church discipleship includes strong men who are deeply rooted in Christ, whether married or single. Reaching men means forming men. And forming men means building churches that refuse to leave any man isolated.

Frequently Asked Questions About Reaching Men and Single Men in Church

1. How can churches effectively reach men today?

Churches reach men most effectively through intentional discipleship rather than event driven programming. Men respond to clear vision, biblical challenge, accountability, and meaningful responsibility. A strong men’s ministry strategy includes small discipleship groups, leadership development pathways, and mission focused service opportunities. Men need to be formed spiritually, not merely entertained socially.

2. Why are churches struggling to reach men?

Many churches unintentionally lower expectations for men or design ministry around families rather than individuals. Cultural shifts have also increased isolation among men. According to the 2023 U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory, approximately half of U.S. adults report experiencing loneliness, and social disconnection carries serious health risks. Churches that do not intentionally build brotherhood and accountability will struggle to engage men consistently.

3. How do you start a men’s ministry in a church?

Start with discipleship, not events. Gather a small group of spiritually mature men and define clear expectations around growth, accountability, and mission. Build outward from a core discipleship group rather than launching a large event first. Create a clear pathway from new attendee to disciple maker. Leadership development should be built into the ministry from the beginning.

4. Why is it important to reach single men in church?

Single men represent a significant and growing demographic. The U.S. Census Bureau reports that 29 percent of U.S. households are single person households. Many men delay marriage into their late twenties or thirties. If churches focus only on married men, they miss a large portion of the mission field. Reaching single men strengthens the church’s leadership pipeline and increases long term discipleship impact.

5. What does it mean for a church to be single friendly?

A single friendly church intentionally recognizes and integrates single adults into leadership, discipleship, and community life. It does not assume marriage as the default spiritual milestone. Sermons, small groups, and men’s gatherings address single life realities, vocation, purpose, and integrity without centering every conversation on marriage and parenting.

6. How can churches help single men overcome loneliness?

Churches must build real relational environments where men are known. This includes consistent small groups, mentoring relationships, service opportunities, and shared mission. Men often struggle to initiate relational depth on their own. The church can model healthy brotherhood by creating structured yet authentic environments for connection.

7. What are practical ideas for engaging men in church?

Practical strategies include:

• Weekly or biweekly small group discipleship
• Friday or Saturday gatherings for single men
• Leadership training cohorts
• Service based mission projects
• Multi generational mentoring
• Accountability partnerships

Men engage when ministry feels purposeful and challenging rather than passive.

8. What does the Bible say about singleness and manhood?

Scripture presents singleness as a legitimate and honored calling. Jesus and Paul both lived single lives devoted to the mission of God. First Corinthians 7 highlights unique opportunities for undivided devotion to the Lord among single believers. Biblical manhood is defined by faithfulness, obedience, humility, and courage, not marital status.

9. How can pastors evaluate whether their church is reaching men?

Pastors can ask measurable questions:

• Are men in accountable discipleship relationships?
• Are single men represented in leadership roles?
• Is there a clear pathway from visitor to disciple maker?
• Do sermons regularly address men’s spiritual formation directly?
• Are men serving missionally inside and outside the church?

If the answer to these is unclear, intentional strategy is needed.

10. What is the biggest mistake churches make in men’s ministry?

The biggest mistake is confusing attendance with transformation. Large events without relational discipleship produce temporary enthusiasm but not lasting maturity. Sustainable men’s ministry requires structure, accountability, and leadership multiplication.

11. How can a church grow numerically by reaching men?

When men are discipled deeply, families stabilize, leadership pipelines expand, and community engagement increases. Single men who are spiritually formed often become future leaders, husbands, mentors, and disciple makers. Strong men’s ministry directly impacts church health and long term growth.

12. What role does leadership play in reaching men?

Pastors and elders must model intentional discipleship themselves. Men rarely go where leaders do not lead first. When senior leadership prioritizes men’s spiritual formation and single adult integration, the church culture shifts accordingly.

Preaching Style That Reaches Young Adults | Sermon Tips for Baptist Pastors in 2026

Thu, 19 Feb 2026 06:00:10 GMT

We don’t mean to alienate young adults from the church, but blind spots can quietly signal, “This isn’t for you,” causing them to drift away.

The gospel never changes. But our tone and tools should, if we hope to reach young adults.

Nearly a decade ago, Dr. Steve Parr and Dr. Tom Crites asked a hopeful question in Why They Stay : What helps kids and teens remain connected to the local church into adulthood?

They answered it with research for parents and church leaders, finding that the local church’s engagement with student and kids ministries helps young adults stay and not stray as they emerge into adulthood.

The stakes are real. Lifeway Research has shown a steady slide from the teen years into the 20s—strong attendance around age 16, then a sharp drop so that by their 20s, only about one in three still attend regularly .

Part of reaching young adults now is engaging them before they drift at the pivotal age of 16 .

So how do we respond?

Be authentic

Your pulpit isn’t just filling an hour with truth; it shapes lives for generations. Young adults aren’t allergic to hard answers ; they’re allergic to spin. They know our own hearts mislead us (Jeremiah 17:9), and they’re looking for unchanging truth—God’s Word—spoken with clarity, compassion, and authenticity.

And it matters more now than ever.

“Your pulpit isn’t just filling an hour with truth; it shapes lives for generations.” — @PJ_Dunn

Gen Z and Millennials attend church more than older adults

Surprise! Younger adults are showing up more often than other generations in your church. Recent reporting indicates Gen Z and Millennials’ attendance is nearly twice what it was five years ago.

T hat means your sermon already has more young ears than you might assume, so preach like it. If your church isn’t seeing many young adults , don’t assume a commitment problem; consider a connection problem.

If you’re not intentionally reaching young adults, then you likely aren’t seeing this average attendance by generation. This serves as a reminder that when data gets a seat at the table, our prior assumptions may prove to be biased by mistake.

From the stage to the table

Authenticity isn’t a mold; it’s you. God wired you to communicate in a way that, with intentionality, moves from a sermon on a stage to a disciple-making conversation at a table.

The early church modeled this rhythm—gathering in the temple and from house to house so proclamation flowed into conversation and community (Acts 2; Acts 5). When you preach authentically, you become a vessel He uses, by the power of the Holy Spirit, to speak the truth in love.

As you craft Sunday’s message, ask: Which part invites a clear next step, helping a listener become a disciple who makes disciples? Young adults want you, pastor, not a presentation.

Preach for Monday, not forced alliterations

Alliteration isn’t the villain. But when it becomes your only strategy to connect with your people, it can sound more programmatic than pastoral. We’ve all heard that “people will remember more if they rhyme or spell a word,” and while that’s true of some, it should be used as needed, not every week.

Preach a single idea in a phrase that people can live out this week. Evaluate your impact as a communicator by checking if your congregants recall the sermon’s main points weeks later.

Research shows hypocrisy and poor teaching push people away, so let’s be pastors who preach God’s Word with clarity and substance.

Scripture is our first illustration well

Before you reach for a story from your week, reach for the Story. All Scripture is inspired by God and useful for teaching, correcting, and training. It’s easy to fall into a routine. Begin with a joke or a family moment, then read the text or topic of the week, followed by prayer, and repeat.

Try a different rhythm. Let biblical narratives, images, and characters from the Old Testament and New Testament carry the weight. They’re as relevant today as the day they happened.

Keep the Word at the center of every sermon and let your personality take the truth in love. Give young adults something they can live out on Monday, taught from the fullness of God’s Word.

“Keep the Word at the center of every sermon and let your personality take the truth in love.” — @PJ_Dunn

Words matter, and so do rooms. You may only spend a few minutes with young adults on the weeks they attend, so make your walls preach too. Wayfinding, value statements, and next-step prompts should reinforce your mission.

Worship, grow, serve, and share are strategies every church is called to, but how will your church communicate them on Sunday? The goal is a church that quietly coaches people toward their next faithful step in evangelism, discipleship, and missions. Studies and field reporting continue to highlight how belonging cues and clear pathways help young adults connect and grow.

Communicate clearly and often

Jesus used examples and parables to reach the crowd. They were simple and memorable expressions of biblical truth, spoken to real people in front of Him. He said less, meant more, repeated essentials, and invited the room to respond.

Clarity beats cleverness, and consistency builds trust and next-step opportunities. We’re not aiming for simple only. We’re aiming for steady, clear communication from God’s Word that grows trust over time. That’s what Jesus modeled.

The sower, Matthew 13:1-23
Jesus reached a large crowd on the shore, then His disciples in private. Invite young adults to the next step to cultivate good soil. Help them remove distractions and practice spiritual disciplines that deepen roots.
The good Samaritan, Luke 10:25-37
Jesus reached an expert in the law who wanted to justify himself. Call on young adults to cross lines and serve their neighbors, giving steps that move compassion from feeling to action.
The lost son, Luke 15:11-32
Jesus reached sinners who drew near, and religious listeners who grumbled. Young adults need a Father who runs to meet prodigals and warns the older brother in all of us. A reminder that once we return to the Father, there will be celebrations in community.
The mustard seed and the yeast, Matthew 13:31-33
Jesus reached the large crowd, using common images from fields and kitchens. Young adults need small, steady steps to become more like Jesus.
The persistent widow, Luke 18:1-8
Jesus reached the disciples, to teach them to pray always and not give up. Young adults need you to address discouragement and anxiety, which can foster perseverance in the community.

The gospel doesn’t change. Our tone and tools enable young adults to hear and respond. Keep Scripture at the center, and let your story serve the Story.

Move from the stage to the table so the message becomes a conversation that produces disciples. Communicate clearly and often. This is how Jesus taught, and it is how the early church lived it out from the temple to the home.

This article was originally published by Lifeway Research and is reposted with permission. Read the original article at Lifeway Research: https://research.lifeway.com/2025/09/2 5/the-preaching-style-that-reaches-young-adults/

Sermon Tips for Baptist Pastors Preaching to Young Adults

Many Baptist pastors are asking the same question: what preaching style reaches young adults today?

Research continues to show generational shifts in church attendance and engagement. A Baptist Press report on Gen Z and Millennial church attendance highlights that younger adults often disengage when preaching feels disconnected from real life or relationally distant. Yet the desire for biblical truth remains strong.
Source: https://www.baptistpress.com/resource-library/news/gen-z-and-millennials-church-attendance/

According to Pew Research Center, younger generations are less likely to identify with organized religion than older adults. However, many still express spiritual curiosity and openness to faith conversations. The issue is not always theology. Often it is tone, clarity, and application.
Source: https://www.pewresearch.org/religion/

For Baptist pastors, preaching to young adults does not require abandoning conviction or doctrine. It requires clarity, authenticity, and application.

Young adults respond to preaching that:

Clearly explains the biblical text
Connects Scripture to everyday life
Addresses real cultural questions
Speaks with humility and conviction
Demonstrates relational awareness

According to the United States Census Bureau, nearly half of adults ages 18 to 29 are unmarried. Many young adults are navigating independence, career decisions, dating, and identity formation. Sermons that acknowledge these realities help younger listeners feel seen rather than overlooked.
Source: https://www.census.gov/data/tables/time-series/demo/families/marital.html

Baptist pastors who preach with biblical depth and relational awareness often find that young adults lean in rather than tune out. The goal is not stylistic performance. The goal is faithful exposition delivered with pastoral sensitivity.

If your church is seeking to understand what young adults look for in a church, preaching clarity and relational authenticity consistently rise to the top.
https://www.tfoministries.org/what-young-adults-look-for-in-a-church

Ultimately, preaching that reaches young adults is preaching that connects timeless truth to present realities without compromising conviction.

Frequently Asked Questions About Preaching to Young Adults

What preaching style reaches young adults?

Young adults respond to preaching that is biblically faithful, clearly explained, culturally aware, and practically applied. Authentic tone and real life examples increase engagement.

How can Baptist pastors preach effectively to Gen Z?

Baptist pastors can preach effectively to Gen Z by clearly explaining Scripture, addressing cultural questions honestly, and connecting biblical truth to daily life without watering down doctrine.

Do young adults prefer shorter sermons?

Length is less important than clarity and relevance. Young adults are willing to engage longer sermons when the message is well structured, biblical, and practically connected to real life.

Why Young Adults Leave Church in 2026

Sat, 14 Feb 2026 15:20:22 GMT

We don’t mean to alienate young adults from the church, but blind spots can quietly signal, “This isn’t for you,” causing them to drift away.

As you step up to welcome the congregation, your heart skips a beat. Is that a new young family? Will they be the first step in reaching young adults at your church? You’ve been working hard behind the scenes, upgrading the worship stream, revamping the website, and even making the occasional social media post. Maybe it’s finally paying off.

They smile. You greet them. They come back a few weeks in a row.

Then, nothing. Ghosted.

No conflict. No awkward moment. They simply fade away like others have before.

You convince yourself it’s not personal. Maybe they moved. Perhaps they stopped going to church altogether. But then it happens again. And again. Until someone asks in a leadership meeting the question you’ve been avoiding: “What happened to that young couple? You know, the ones with the toddler?”

Silence. Then you share, “Yes, we’ve had visitors, even a few young families. But we haven’t seen them recently. You know, young families don’t attend church like they used to.” Even with a reasonable response, the room sits heavy knowing there are more unanswered questions. What are we missing? Why are young adults not staying?

How to scare off young adults

The truth is: Most churches don’t lose young adults on purpose. We lose them through habits, assumptions, and blind spots that subtly convey, “This isn’t for you.” Here are the top 10 ways churches unintentionally scare off young adults and how to stop doing it.

1. Your Google Maps listing

If young adults can’t find you, they won’t connect with you.

86% of consumers utilize Google Maps to find companies.
76% of local smartphone searches lead to a visit within a day .

One free and highly effective way to reach young adults is for a church to claim its Google Maps church listing . Young adults want authenticity, and they’re using Google Maps, not just Google searches, to see who you are. A blank Google Business page might as well say: We’re not expecting guests. Upload recent photos. Add real descriptions. Ask members to leave a review. In 2025, your Google listing might be more powerful than your front sign.

“Most churches don’t lose young adults on purpose. We lose them through habits, assumptions, and blind spots.” — @PJ_Dunn

2. Your social media and live stream

If your last post was Christmas 2020, young adults wonder if you’re still meeting.

23% of U.S. adults watch religious services online or on TV at least once a month.
Over 80% of the U.S. population is on Facebook, with people ages 25-34 being the highest user group.

If your church isn’t posting on social media, it’s time for an honest conversation and not finger-pointing. You don’t need a social team, just a story. Start by asking one person each week to post a picture from Sunday. When your church is invisible online, it’s invisible to young adults.

3. Your website and/or app

Your website is your new lobby. If it’s cluttered, slow, or outdated, expect guests to walk out digitally.

46% of churches have no website at all.
86% of churches believe tech increases connection in their community.

A dated website or a hard-to-navigate website can be worse than having no website at all. Ensure your website is set up for success by removing dated information that’s challenging to keep updated or pages with little traffic. Less is more. Your website should say three things fast: You’re welcome. Here’s what to expect. This is how to connect.

4. Your church sign and branding

If your church branding resembles a 1997 WOW Worship album cover, young adults may assume your ministry is outdated, too.

95% of consumer decisions are made subconsciously.
Your brand should communicate aesthetically and tell a story to connect with young adults.

You don’t have to be someone else to reach young adults. Mismatched signs, logos, and colors don’t say vintage; they say unfocused. Clarify your message. Clean up your visuals. Show you care about what guests see—because they do.

5. Your church calendar and software

If everything’s important, nothing is.

Church management software is no longer optional; it’s essential .
Calendars communicate priorities and who you want to engage.

Young adults don’t want a schedule; they want an invitation. Use your calendar to guide you, not overwhelm your audience. Your church also may have outdated church management software (ChMS), if it has any at all. In 2025, young adults expect churches to communicate with them through updated technology. As a church, consider a ChMS, like Church Teams , to bring people together through calendars, email, texting, and more.

6. Your discipleship communication

Don’t advertise programs. Tell stories.

Young adults want their next step to connect, and connecting happens best within a church’s discipleship group experience.
Communicate the story, not the program of discipleship.

If your discipleship strategy sounds like an event menu, it won’t connect. Lead with life-change and follow up with opportunities. Show them the “why,” not just the “when.”

“If your discipleship strategy sounds like an event menu, it won’t connect. Lead with life-change and follow up with opportunities.” — @PJ_Dunn

7. Your environments

Your paint color may not share the gospel, but it might lose a guest.

Sterile, dated, or exclusive spaces can communicate that guests aren’t wanted.
Your paint, wayfinding, logo, furniture, and more tell the story of who you are before you even say hello.

When we attend church every week, we can lose sight of how guests or young adults perceive our environment. It’s not about a specific style that appeals to young adults, but rather the intentionality behind that style, which has an updated feel and creates an atmosphere that says, “We were expecting you.”

8. Your people

Your greeters open more than doors; they open hearts.

John 13:35 reminds us that we will be known by how we love and communicate that love.
Greeters matter. Experience matters. But it’s relationships that keep young adults coming back.

Guest training matters. But culture matters more. A church where discipleship is the foundation will naturally be a place where new faces are noticed, named, and known.

9. Your authenticity

Young adults can smell fake a mile away, and they won’t come back for seconds.

Authenticity is the currency of young adults.
Your worship can be polished, but your people not transformed.

When trying to connect with young adults, be excellent in communicating who you are, because we serve an excellent God. Don’t be the church down the street. Be you. Be vulnerable in your communication and teaching by sharing real stories of struggle and hope.

10. Your why

If your why is unclear, your what won’t matter.

Churches that fail to communicate their mission drift into routines and programs.
Young adults want purpose, not business.

Your mission is more than a poster in the hallway or elevator. It needs to be a rally cry unique to your context and your church’s giftings. Young adults who can identify with a tag line or phrase tied to your mission can find an on-ramp to join you on the journey.

Young adults aren’t impossible to reach, but they’re easier to lose when we communicate poorly. The good news? The Bible hasn’t changed. Jesus still saves. And tomorrow brings another opportunity to advance the gospel to reach young adults in your community.

This article was originally published by Lifeway Research and is reposted with permission. Read the original article at Lifeway Research: https://research.lifeway.com/2025/08/25/10-ways-to-scare-off-young-adults-from-your-church/

Why Young Adults Are Leaving Churches in 2026

Conversations around young adults and church attendance have intensified in recent years, and for good reason. National research continues to show generational shifts in trust, belonging, and institutional engagement. When churches ask why young adults leave church, the answer is rarely singular. It is often cumulative.

According to national research trends, young adults report higher levels of loneliness, lower institutional trust, and greater skepticism toward organizations that feel performative rather than authentic. At the same time, many still express spiritual curiosity and a desire for meaningful community.

The U.S. Surgeon General has identified loneliness and social disconnection as a major public health concern, with some of the highest reported rates among younger generations.

If churches unintentionally create environments that feel transactional, disconnected, or generationally unaware, young adults may quietly disengage rather than openly object.

In 2026, churches that retain and disciple young adults tend to demonstrate:

Authentic relationships across generations
Biblical depth rather than trend chasing
Clear discipleship pathways
Opportunities for leadership and ownership
Space for honest questions

The issue is not simply programming. It is belonging.

For leaders asking:

Why do young adults stop attending church?
What are young adults looking for in a church?
How can churches build stronger young adult ministry in 2026?
How do we disciple single young adults effectively?

The conversation must move beyond attraction and toward integration.

If your church is evaluating its approach to young adult ministry, you may also find these resources helpful:

Churches that listen, adapt thoughtfully, and remain rooted in biblical truth often discover that young adults are not leaving because they do not care. Many are leaving because they do not feel known.

Frequently Asked Questions About Young Adults and Church in 2026

Why are young adults leaving church in 2026?

Young adults often leave church for relational, cultural, and spiritual reasons rather than theological rejection alone. Many cite lack of belonging, perceived inauthenticity, limited leadership opportunities, or difficulty reconciling faith with modern cultural challenges. Churches that prioritize meaningful relationships and clear discipleship pathways tend to retain young adults more effectively.

What are young adults looking for in a church?

Research consistently shows that young adults value authenticity, biblical depth, community, and opportunities to contribute. They are less interested in entertainment-driven programming and more drawn to environments where they feel known, challenged, and spiritually formed.

Is young adult church attendance declining?

National studies over the past decade show fluctuations in church attendance among younger generations. While institutional engagement has declined in some contexts, spiritual curiosity remains present. Many young adults are not abandoning faith altogether but are seeking churches that demonstrate relational integrity and spiritual seriousness.

How can churches retain young adults?

Churches that retain young adults typically:

Integrate them into leadership and service roles
Foster intergenerational relationships
Address real life questions directly from Scripture
Create clear next steps for discipleship
Avoid treating young adults as a temporary demographic

Retention grows when belonging grows.

What age is considered a young adult in church ministry?

Most churches define young adults as ages 18 to 29, though many extend into the early to mid thirties depending on life stage and marital status. With the median age of first marriage increasing in the United States, many adults remain in a single young adult season longer than previous generations.

Are most young adults in church single?

Yes. A significant percentage of adults under 30 are unmarried, and singleness often shapes the young adult ministry landscape. Churches that disciple single young adults intentionally rather than viewing singleness as transitional tend to build stronger community.

Does loneliness affect young adults more than other age groups?

Recent national research has identified high levels of loneliness among younger generations. Social disconnection, relocation, digital dependency, and delayed marriage all contribute to this trend. Churches that cultivate meaningful in person community can play a significant role in addressing loneliness.

What mistakes do churches make with young adults?

Common missteps include:

Programming without relational depth
Failing to empower young leaders
Ignoring difficult cultural questions
Overemphasizing attraction over formation
Separating young adults from the broader church body

Healthy young adult ministry balances integration with intentional support.

Do young adults want traditional or modern church styles?

Young adults are not monolithic. Some are drawn to historic liturgy and theological depth, while others appreciate contextual expression. What consistently matters more than style is authenticity, clarity of doctrine, and genuine community.

How should churches adapt for young adults in 2026?

Rather than chasing trends, churches should:

Clarify their theological convictions
Strengthen discipleship structures
Invest in relational mentoring
Address loneliness directly
Create visible leadership pathways

Young adults are not asking for perfection. Many are asking to be known, challenged, and included.

Who Is a Young Adult? Defining Young Adults in Church Ministry

Fri, 13 Feb 2026 16:36:40 GMT

Defining who a young adult is in your community is one more step toward connecting them in the church and making disciples.

The term “young adults” can be traced back to the mid-1800s, when the Young Men’s Christian Association (the YMCA) was founded as a haven for young men. In the mid-1900s, Billy Graham was the first president of Youth for Christ, an organization that saw millions of young adults come to Christ. Later, it was followed by the Jesus Movement, predominantly comprised of young adults radically following Jesus and making disciples. Based on this movement, the Bible study, Jesus Revolution , looks at young adults in revival and how God can do the same today.

Young adults are in the early stages of adulthood , usually in their late teens, 20s, and early 30s. Young adults often represent a transition period between adolescence and full-fledged adulthood, marked by significant life changes and milestones. They are in a season of exploration, self-discovery, and decision-making that can influence their personal, educational, spiritual, and career trajectories.

Young is relative

If I were to ask a room of pastors and church leaders to define young adults, nearly everyone would have a different definition, age range, rationalization, and defense for their answer. This is because young is relative to who is using the term and in what context. An elementary school might say the young children are pre-k through first grade. However, in high school, young kids might mean ninth graders, or if middle and high school are combined, sixth and seventh graders. Seems extreme? We do the same with adults.

For most normative churches, “the young people” might refer to those under 40 or 50 if the church’s median age is 70. Many 40-year-olds may refer to themselves as young, but 20-year-olds would call them middle-aged. A 27-year-old would say they are young, while an 18-year-old would say they are the real young one. Most everyone feels they are younger than someone else.

Your church’s community and context define young. The challenge is not how you define young adults but how those in your context define themselves. To better understand how adults in the early stages of adulthood and adulting see themselves, we need to investigate their life stages.

“Your church's community and context define young. The challenge is not how you define young adults but how those in your context define themselves.” — @PJ_Dunn

Adulting and emerging adults

“Adulting is the worst,” says a young adult during prayer time at the end of a Bible study. But what is adulting, and why is it “the worst”? Delayed adolescence is a phrase often used to describe current generations of young adults. It’s the idea young adults now take longer to reach traditional adulthood identifiers like a good job, education, financial independence, and marriage. These are the markers of adulting as defined by society, but society has changed.

Take marriage, for example. In 1950 , after Billy Graham launched Youth for Christ to reach young adults, the average age for marriage was 23 for men and 20 for women. In 2023 , it has increased to 30 for men and 28 for women. Based on marriage, adulting in 2023 took place an average of seven years later than in 1950.

Think of how this has impacted how we build systems and ministry to connect people. Young adult ministry in 1950 would have been predominantly married adults, many with children. Young adult ministry now has more singles than married adults and even fewer with children.

People also live longer; traditional adult markers spread out later in life. In 1950, the average life expectancy was 68; in 2023, it was 78. On average, adults in the United States are living nearly 10 years longer and marrying seven years later. These are vital stats to a pastor or leader looking to reach their community in 2025 but operating like it’s the mid-1900s .

Pastors and leaders, this is where the term emerging adult comes into the picture to explain a gap from 1950 to the present. It addresses 18-25-year-olds and the fact that many are high school graduates with a little more money. In fact, for many, their brains do not fully develop until they are nearly 25. So, they are emerging into young adulthood, and their needs are different than those of adults who are well-established in this phase. This is why a definition of young adults may need to be broader than 25 and younger and expand to include adults under 35, reflecting the 10 years on average we live longer than in the past 70+ years.

Young adult’s lives are in chaos

We often see what we give attention to. Are you looking for a new car? After some research, you pick a make and model. Now, every time you drive around town, you see that car everywhere. The same is true for how you will see young adults if you look further into their lives. Young adults in their 20s and 30s can fall into a few categories , but here are 10 statistics that expose the chaos found in the lives of young adults.

Young adults spend 70% less time with friends than they did two decades ago.
More than half of young adults are single.
Around seven million young adults live at home with their parents.
Dependent college students are, on average, 21 years old, while independent college students are, on average, 26 years old.
Only 57% of those 18-21 in 2018 were enrolled in a college or university.
The average age for first-time marriage for women is 28 and for men is 30.
Young adults have the highest divorce rate of married adults, with those 25-34 experiencing a divorce rate of nearly 20% .
Mothers, on average, are 27 years old at their first birth.
More than half of single mothers (52.9%) and more than 1 in 3 single fathers (37%) are millennials .
One in 4 adults ages 18-29 (25%) reports having student loan debt . And borrowers between the ages of 26-34 have an average debt of $33,260 .

Jesus is the answer

These statistics demonstrate how a “one-size-fits-all” approach to reaching and engaging young adults simply will not work. Young adults live chaotic lives, and your church has the answer. We must adapt our ministries, programs, terminology, thinking, marketing, and outreach to reach young adults. They could be single, never-married, dating, engaged, divorced, single parents, married, or married with children. And they could move between any of these circumstances while in their 20s and 30s in your community. We don’t need to reach one specific young adult but to develop a culture of discipleship that demonstrates a life of following Christ regardless of your life stage.

“We don’t need to reach one specific young adult but to develop a culture of discipleship that demonstrates a life of following Christ regardless of your life stage.” — @PJ_Dunn

What do I name our young adult ministry?

A measure of a ministry name could be, “Would all the young adults we talk to see themselves in that ministry?” If not, how do we articulate communication to reach them and align it with the church’s discipleship strategy?

Young adults are diverse, lonely, energetic, and servant-minded and want to be part of your church. Defining who a young adult is in your community is one more step toward connecting them in the church and making disciples. Don’t let a ministry model or name paralyze you. Focus on advancing the gospel to make disciples who make disciples, and your church will reach young adults.

This article was originally published by Lifeway Research and is reposted here with permission. Read the original article at:

https://research.lifeway.com/2025/01/27/who-is-a-young-adult/

Why Defining “Young Adult” Matters for Church Leaders Today

Defining who qualifies as a young adult is more than choosing an age range. It directly shapes how churches disciple, integrate, and shepherd an entire generation.

In the United States, demographic realities are shifting. The median age of first marriage is now around 30 for men and 28 for women according to the U.S. Census Bureau. In addition, nearly 29 percent of all U.S. households are single person households. These trends mean many adults remain single longer than previous generations, extending what churches often consider the “young adult” season of life.

If churches define young adults too narrowly by age alone, they may unintentionally overlook single adults navigating career transitions, relocation, graduate school, or delayed marriage. Clear definitions allow ministry leaders to build intentional discipleship pathways rather than assuming people will naturally move from one life stage to the next.

Young adults are also among the groups most impacted by loneliness. The U.S. Surgeon General’s advisory on social connection notes that approximately half of U.S. adults report experiencing loneliness, with some of the highest rates among younger generations.

For church leaders asking:

What age is considered a young adult in church ministry?
How long should someone remain in a young adult ministry?
How do we disciple single young adults effectively?
What are young adults looking for in a church?

These are not program questions. They are discipleship questions.

Churches that thoughtfully define young adults often see stronger engagement, deeper belonging, and clearer leadership development. Rather than creating isolated programs, healthy ministries integrate young adults into the broader life of the church while addressing their unique season of life.

If your church is evaluating how to better reach and disciple young adults, you may also find these resources helpful:

Clarity creates confidence. And confidence in who you are discipling allows your church to build authentic community rooted in biblical truth.

What Young Adults Look for in a Church

Fri, 06 Feb 2026 01:47:00 GMT

Many of the frustrations surrounding our failure to reach young adults are less about them and more about the church.

Church leaders, congregants, and pastors verbally acknowledge the need to reach young adults with phrases like “Young people just don’t come to church anymore,” “Growing up, we never missed a Sunday,” or maybe even “We have a lost generation, Lord come quickly.” Why are young adults so hard to find in our communities?

These phrases are part of why it’s challenging for us to reach young adults in the church. We want young adults to understand the value of church life, but we can unintentionally use shame to motivate them to attend, participate, or volunteer. Shame is not a motivator. Many of the frustrations surrounding our failure to reach young adults are less about them and more about us.

Along with aging congregations, pastoral age demographics are shifting , with the average age of pastors hovering right below 54. But age is not our weakness; it’s often our greatest strength and source of wisdom. Age does not dictate your vision; your mindset does.

The challenge our churches face in reaching young adults is connecting with them in authentic relationships and being a friend worth having. We lean toward a mindset that values programs over people. Programs can offer environments that foster relationships, but how often do we sacrifice relationships in the name of maintaining a program that we have “always done”?

“Programs can offer environments that foster relationships, but how often do we sacrifice relationships in the name of maintaining a program that we have ‘always done’?” — @PJ_Dunn

Authenticity is the currency of young adults

Relationships have a currency. It may be a business relationship, a family member, or a church attender. Each of these relationships involves exchanging communication, ideas, emotions, and value. Authenticity is the currency of the young adult generation. Authenticity in relationships connects people, shares truth in love, and ultimately creates a friend worth having. Young adults will evlauate the authenticity of your church based on the following questions.

Do you see me?

In an era of social media where being noticed is measured in reactions, young adults feel engaged in in-person relationships. The same authentic interaction in the Garden of Eden still works because it’s how God wired us. We can have relationships outside of in-person interactions, like Paul did when writing to churches. However, anchor relationships in our lives are primarily in person.Do you know my name?

Names immediately create an authentic heart connection. Your name is valuable to you; throughout Scripture, names are essential, including the names of God. This next level of interaction with young adults initiates a friendship connection and a deeper level of communication.

Do you know me?

Nearly 1 in 3 young adults say they have no trusted relationships . Young adults don’t want to be a goal, a plan, or a project. They desire intentional connections with one another for their interests, passions, and challenges. Just one authentic relationship that reaches the level of being known can multiply into a culture of disciple-making.

In the church, authentic worship means we don’t have to produce a polished production or perfect the clicking of the words on the screen. We need to be who we are, authentically worshiping the Lord together. Serving inside and outside the church authentically means we may not be perfect in our execution, but we should be authentic in expressing love for others and the lost. Growing authentically means we need disciple-making environments where truth in love is shared, just as Jesus modeled.

Jesus is a friend worth having

Being a friend worth having means owning your actions as part of the disciple-making process. You make disciples by being a friend worth having, as Jesus was, replicating His discipleship relationships. In Luke 7:34, Jesus is called a friend of sinners, specifically people far from God. Discipleship is friendship based on Scripture, as Jesus modeled.

“Discipleship is friendship based on Scripture, as Jesus modeled.” — @PJ_Dunn

In 1 Corinthians 9:19-23, Paul used his evangelistic efforts as a model to engage a generation far from God. Paul authentically became a part of each unique context to win people to the Lord. He did all this for the sake of the gospel and reached each unique community. He accomplished this evangelistic effort by being a friend worth having, as modeled by Jesus, and sharing the gospel. Are we willing to do the same for young adults to connect in our churches?

People, not programs

To connect young adults, churches must prepare for authentic relationships, not programs. But programs are not irrelevant. Programs should help us align our mission, vision, and strategies to achieve a replicable outcome.

However, the issue with a program is that it needs the same input to get the same output. An inflexible program input means something built for a prior generation or specific task is not made to receive a new variable.

In this case, the current generation of young adults may not be the input your program was built to accept. Stop blaming or shaming young adults who don’t fit our current programs and find a way forward.

“Stop blaming or shaming young adults who don't fit our current programs and find a way forward.” — @PJ_Dunn

Be a friend worth having

Be as flexible as the apostle Paul to be all things to all people so some may come to know Him as their Lord and Savior. We must reflect authentic relationships with our communities and be friends worth having to connect young adults to our churches. This may take time but will yield exponential results. We must intentionally help young adults connect to our churches.

We can fail, but we can’t be mediocre. Your church’s pathway to connecting young adults is much like the generation before it and the generation Paul reached. Young adults can feel hard to communicate with and are distant from how you currently do things. The sacrifice of having a mindset to see young adults and engage them can seem daunting.

Friend, you are not alone. The challenge is not unique to this generation; it has happened every generation since Jesus gave the Great Commission. Relationships always have and will always be the center of what binds us to share the gospel and reach a lost world. It has been done before, so let’s be encouraged that it can be done again. Go and make disciples and be a friend worth having.

This article was originally published by Lifeway Research and is reposted here with permission. Read the original article at:

https://research.lifeway.com/2024/09/30/what-young-adults-look-for-in-a-church/

Why Churches Must Understand What Young Adults Look for in a Church

If churches want to reach the next generation, they must understand what young adults look for in a church. This is not simply about style or programming. It is about belonging, biblical clarity, and intentional discipleship.

According to the United States Census Bureau, nearly half of adults ages 18 to 29 are unmarried. This means many young adults are navigating adulthood without traditional family structures and are searching for meaningful community. Churches that understand this reality are better positioned to serve both single young adults and young families effectively.
Source: https://www.census.gov/data/tables/time-series/demo/families/marital.html

At the same time, Pew Research Center reports that younger generations are less likely to identify with organized religion than previous generations. Yet many still describe themselves as spiritual. The issue is often not rejection of faith, but disconnection from community.
Source: https://www.pewresearch.org/religion/

What young adults consistently look for in a church includes:

Authentic community where they are known
Clear biblical teaching that applies to real life
Mentorship and discipleship relationships
Opportunities to serve and make an impact
A culture that values them beyond attendance

Churches that build a discipleship culture rather than simply offering programs are more likely to retain and develop young adults. Programs may attract interest. Relationships cultivate roots.

For pastors and church leaders, this means evaluating whether your church provides clear pathways for connection, spiritual growth, and leadership development. A healthy church for young adults does not isolate them into a demographic silo. Instead, it integrates them into the full life of the church while offering intentional support for their life stage.

The future of the church will be shaped by whether we create environments where young adults experience biblical truth, authentic relationships, and meaningful belonging. Churches that respond strategically today will not only attract young adults. They will develop disciple makers who influence generations to come.

Frequently Asked Questions About Young Adults and Church

What do young adults look for in a church?

Young adults look for authentic community, biblical teaching that applies to real life, intentional discipleship, and meaningful opportunities to serve. More than programs, they are seeking belonging and relationships where they are known and valued within the church body.

Why are young adults leaving church?

Research from Pew Research Center shows younger generations are less likely to identify with organized religion than older adults. Many cite lack of connection, perceived inauthenticity, or irrelevance to real life as reasons for disengagement. Often the issue is not belief in God, but disconnection from biblical community and discipleship.

How can a church attract and retain young adults?

Churches that attract and retain young adults focus on building a discipleship culture rather than launching isolated programs. This includes clear next steps for connection, mentorship relationships, opportunities to serve, and intentional integration into the life of the church across generations.

Understanding current single adult statistics in America helps churches see why belonging matters more than ever. https://www.tfoministries.org/single-adult-statistics-in-america

Divorced Not Damaged: Finding Healing, Identity, and Hope in Christ After Divorce

Sat, 31 Jan 2026 01:46:00 GMT

A biblical, hope-filled guide for divorced Christians seeking healing, identity in Christ, and freedom from shame after divorce.

4 Steps to Become a Church That Welcomes Young Adults

Fri, 30 Jan 2026 14:31:00 GMT

The church exists today because it reached young adults in the past. Be encouraged that you and your church can reach and engage young adults.

Sunday morning! The sun is out, the church doors are unlocked, the AC is on (and working!), and the fellowship hall smells of homemade breakfast. A week has come and gone, and now it’s time to worship and fellowship with the church family.

Halfway through the sermon, you look around the room and notice the same friendly faces but a missing young adult presence. Where are they? How do you get young adults into your church? Do young adults want to attend your church?

The elusive group of “young adults” our churches are trying to reach already exists in our communities. It’s not the tempo of the worship songs, the paint color of the building, or even an old logo that keeps them from attending. We don’t see young adults or understand young adults’ needs and connect with them. Here are four steps to help your church become welcoming for young adults.

1. Define young adults

The first issue with defining young adults is that “young” is relative. Young is not age; it’s a mindset. Using it as a term to reach an age group quickly becomes problematic. While the generally accepted use of the term “young adult” is considered late teens and 20s, a person in that group rarely identifies as young. Only those outside of the group identify them as such.

The term “young adults” is hardly used on search engines, as people don’t type it in to find people like themselves. They use age and life stage words like married or single to self-identify and find community. Rather than define a people group, ask people questions about how they identify themselves so you can better shape language to connect with them.

Use specific, not general, language if you’re trying to define a life stage to communicate within your church and community. If you need to identify young adults, use married, single, gender, and age, not “young adult.”

2. See young adults

Data gets a seat at the table to see young adults. We’ll miss seeing people if we base identifying people on our personal bias. This is true of young adults. Here are a few categories and information to help us see young adults .

Collegiate/emerging adults

Typically, we associate college age with 18-22-year-olds. However, the average age for a college studen t is now 26 years old. So, when you say college student, depending on the schools near you, they’re not “college-aged.”

Single, never married

Singles now outnumber married adults in America at 53% of the total population. Three in 5 (61%) adults 18-34 are single , and the average age for marriage is 30 for men and 29 for women. This has increased yearly for the past 25 years, with a major increase since 2007. So, reaching young adults in your community means remembering they’re more single than you may think.

Divorced

Nearly 45% of first-time marriages end in divorce , and the average age for a first-time divorce is 29. If we’re going to reach young adults in our community, we need to provide resources to help save marriages and help those healing from divorces.

Single parents

Nearly 1 in 4 children in the U.S. live with a single parent . Over 40% of all families are single-parent households, with 80% of those being single mothers. Our children, student, and adult ministries must consider how to reach and engage single parents in their efforts to reach young adults.

Now equipped with national averages of young adults, take a moment to research your local community. As you define young adults near your church, remember to think of people, not programs. Simply starting a ministry with a name doesn’t mean you’ll attract young adults. Focus on providing for and meeting needs to bring the gospel message to young adults near your church. You may find they’re more single than you expected and your church can be a place where they find community.

“Simply starting a ministry with a name doesn’t mean you’ll attract young adults. Focus on providing for and meeting needs to bring the gospel message to young adults near your church.” — @PJ_Dunn

3. Believe in the local church

Your church can reach young adults. God knew what He was doing when He established the local church to build community and make disciples. Our mandate is to make disciples, and your church can do that with young adults.

Some reading this article have seen this happen through generations of community presence. Established churches of 50+ years exist because the next generation was reached. To continue living out the missional mandate in our local churches, we need to see who young adults are and what needs they have that we can meet in our churches.

Young adults are lonely

The U.S. Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek Murthy, points out in his 2023 report, “ Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation ,” the true scope of loneliness in America. This report defines loneliness as a feeling of isolation, irrespective of social contact. Here are some interesting findings from this report.

Nearly 50% of all adults are considered lonely.
People lacking social connection increase premature death by nearly 60%.
Loneliness in a person’s life is the equivalent of smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
Nearly 1 in 3 young adults report feeling lonely frequently or most of the time.

According to Vivek, while we live in the most connected generation ever, loneliness rates have doubled since the 1980s. This points out a longer-term issue, not one that emerged since the COVID-19 pandemic. To reach young adults in our community, our churches must first acknowledge their current reality and connect them to an unchanging biblical mandate of community in the local church.

“To continue living out the missional mandate in our local churches, we need to see who young adults are and what needs they have that we can meet in our churches.” — @PJ_Dunn

You are the plan

Yes, you and your church. We are called to go and make disciples. Paul also reminds us in 1 Corinthians 9:19-23 that we must be all things to all people so that some may accept the gospel. Your church’s ministry, big event, or program are part of making disciples, but they don’t make disciples; Jesus does.

The process of being a disciple who makes disciples happens in biblical community, such as a small group or Sunday School. However, our churches must be able to bring people into these disciple-making pathways. The same U.S. Surgeon’s report speaks to religious involvement .

In 1999, 70% of Americans reported that they belonged to a church, synagogue, or mosque. Now, less than half of Americans report religious participation .
Young adults’ participation in traditional community structures such as churches has decreased, elevating feelings of isolation and loneliness.
Biblical communities are cited as helping to address heart disease, dementia, depression, and mental health.
Reading the Bible four or more times a week decreases loneliness by 30% .

The U.S. Surgeon’s loneliness epidemic report points to the local church and other faith communities as the solution to the loneliness crisis. The U.S. government wants us to help young adults in our communities. How will we respond to this request? Connecting people to God’s Word and community is the solution our community needs and we already provide through the local church.

4. Be authentic

Authenticity is the currency of young adults. More than 2 in 5 (45%) young people feel as if no one understands them . To reach them in our churches, we need to help them be noticed, named, and known just as Christ has done for us. When we clarify our mission, vision, and values as the body of Christ, we can share that with young adults.

You don’t need to be the church down the street; there are plenty of lost people in your community for everyone. You’ll connect with young adults when you are uniquely who God called you to be and the church has clarified its vision.

“You don’t need to be the church down the street; there are plenty of lost people in your community for everyone.” — @PJ_Dunn

Being authentic means being genuine, the real thing, 100% unique. Your church needs to be excellent in all it does for the Lord, and that will demonstrate authenticity. For your church to reach young adults, it must involve them in leadership, missions, and discipleship. The church exists today because it reached young adults in the past. Be encouraged that you and your church can reach and engage young adults.

This article was originally published by Lifeway Research and is reposted with permission. Read the original article at Lifeway Research: https://research.lifeway.com/2024/07/11/4-steps-to-become-a-church-that-welcomes-young-adults/

Why Welcoming Young Adults Is a Strategic Priority for Churches

Becoming a church that welcomes young adults is not optional. It is essential for long term church health and mission impact.

According to the United States Census Bureau, nearly half of adults ages 18 to 29 are unmarried. Many are navigating career decisions, identity formation, and spiritual questions without strong family structures or consistent church community. Churches that intentionally build belonging and discipleship pathways for young adults are investing in the future of the church.
Source: https://www.census.gov/data/tables/time-series/demo/families/marital.html

At the same time, Pew Research Center continues to report generational shifts in religious affiliation. Younger adults are less likely to identify with organized religion than previous generations, yet many still express spiritual curiosity. The challenge is not always belief. Often, it is connection.
Source: https://www.pewresearch.org/religion/

A church that welcomes young adults does more than host events. It builds intentional relationships. It integrates young adults into the full life of the church. It creates clear discipleship pathways instead of isolated programming.

This is especially important in light of current single adult trends. Understanding current single adult statistics in America helps churches recognize that young adult ministry is not a niche strategy. It is central to reaching a growing life stage demographic.
https://www.tfoministries.org/single-adult-statistics-in-america

Welcoming young adults also requires clarity. Before developing strategy, churches should consider how they are defining young adults in church ministry. Clear definitions shape clearer pathways.
https://www.tfoministries.org/who-is-a-young-adult-church

Ultimately, churches that cultivate authentic community and intentional discipleship will not only attract young adults. They will develop disciple makers who influence generations to come. The goal is not attendance growth alone. The goal is spiritual formation that lasts.

Frequently Asked Questions About Welcoming Young Adults

Why do churches struggle to reach young adults?

Many churches rely on program driven approaches rather than relationship centered discipleship. Young adults are often seeking authentic community and meaningful belonging.

What makes a church welcoming to young adults?

A welcoming church integrates young adults into leadership, discipleship pathways, and multigenerational community rather than isolating them into siloed programming.

How can pastors begin reaching young adults?

Start by building intentional relationships, clarifying next steps for connection, and ensuring young adults are noticed, discipled, and trusted within the church body.

Dating and the Church: How Should the Church Treat Singles?

Fri, 23 Jan 2026 19:29:00 GMT

Is church the answer to dating? Make disciples, and along the way, like-minded followers may take the next step in their relationships.

It’s Sunday afternoon at your church, and everyone has gathered for a potluck. All the food offerings at the event are laid out properly, from deviled eggs to three types of mac and cheese, from cookies still in their plastic containers from the store to fresh famous banana pudding from your most tenured potluck contributor. As you turn to sit down, you see a single adult at their table for one in the corner.

You immediately forgo your typical lunch table, sit with this single adult, and start to make small talk about life, work, and any fun trips ahead. Then, you make your pastoral transition to the actual topic at hand. “You’re too nice to be single, so why haven’t you found someone? Have you tried online dating? I know several happy couples who met on an app and are still married today.”

Your heart is genuine and wants happiness for your parishioner. But their face gazes back at you as if you said something wrong. But what was it? It might help to see things from a single’s perspective and how they feel, like in this video .

Dating singles are those actively seeking a relationship with another single adult. One thing to remember is not all singles are dating or want to date in their current season. Singles get frustrated, whether they admit it or not, when you assume their in dating season. It’s also discouraging for singles to find happiness tied to marriage as something they don’t have but want in their lives. So, how do we, as the church, navigate dating and online dating?

Marriage isn’t the finish line

Happiness is found in trusting in the Lord. Well-meaning friends, family, and church members say, “I just want you to be happy” to young adults and singles. They’re most likely married or were married for an extended period in a healthy marriage. I get it. But your friend, co-worker, child, or grandchild needs to hear affirmation that they can be happy, trust in Jesus, and be complete in Christ. A slight change in vocabulary can communicate your desire to help them find someone if they’re looking rather than assuming their current stage of being single, alone, and unhappy.

Our race to the finish line is defined in Philippians 3:14, when we, as believers, are called up to join Jesus in heaven. Marriage is fantastic but so is being called where you are as a single adult, according to Paul in 1 Corinthians 7:7-9. We need to accept people where God has them now and not assume what they need or must have in their lives. As the church, we should expect to speak about dating and cohabitation more in the foreseeable future, given the following statistics.

Most adults will be married at some point in their lives; however, that is changing. The Institute for Family Studies projects up to 1 in 3 men and women who turn 45 in 2050 (those around 18 or 19 now) will have not yet married.
According to Pew Research , the majority of never-married singles (58%) express a desire to get married. But 27% remain undecided about marriage.
Analysis from Pew Research found more than half of adults aged 18-44 (59%) have lived with a romantic partner at least once, surpassing the 50% who have never been married.
Additionally, analysis from Pew Research found the majority of Americans consider it acceptable for couples to live together before marriage.
According to Statista , more than 9 in 10 Americans (94%) believe in “true love.”
When selecting a partner, only 38% of women and 31% of men consider moral and religious beliefs to be very important factors, according to Statista .
Statista also found for men, aligned views on raising children is the most important consideration in choosing a partner.
For women, Statista found the top priority when selecting a mate is finding someone with a stable job.

“Marriage is fantastic but so is being called where you are as a single adult, according to Paul in 1 Corinthians 7:7-9.” — @PJ_Dunn

The church’s response to online dating

The topic of dating varies by nation, culture, and current events. Dating is a product of romanticism, a significant part of our American heritage. It’s seen in events like the COVID-19 pandemic, where those looking to date were cut off from human interactions. Even when they returned, many were unsure how to reenter the dating world. Should they take a COVID test to go on a date? Could they hold hands? In 2025, those things are in history books, but the habits formed in those years have profoundly affected dating.

Just 10 years ago, in 2015, only 15% of Americans had used a dating app. By 2023, that had doubled to 30%. Pew Research found while over half of young adults 18-29 have used a dating app (53%), 37% of those 30-49 also use app-based dating services. This means dating websites and apps are likely being used significantly by the people in your pews. How will your church help align that with a biblical worldview?

Pastors should focus on the Word of God as our source of truth when addressing online dating. While the Bible doesn’t mention dating, it speaks to relationships, love, and marriage — defining biblical love (1 Corinthians 13:4-7) and teaching the priority of God in relationships (Matthew 6:33) and purity through self-control (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5).

When we see dating through the lens of discipleship, we find a path that leads to Jesus, not just a potential mate. It’s about embarking on a journey of sanctification to become more like Jesus and maybe dating someone else doing the same. Dating singles will connect in the local in-person church while simultaneously connecting through an online world. The distance between these two realities might be closer than first imagined.

“When we see dating through the lens of discipleship, we find a path that leads to Jesus, not just a potential mate.” — @PJ_Dunn

Online dating, in-person relationships, and avoiding the “market”

The online dating industry does not exist for your happiness; it exists to prolong the search. The online/app dating industry is worth 10 billion dollars and is expected to almost double in the next 10 years. With 40% of that market being in America, you must understand and be ready to connect with young adults and singles on this issue.

Healthy online/app dating is not dating online at all. It’s best used as a connection to an in-person relationship. Matthew 23:28 addresses being one way to others and acting completely different when they’re not around. Dating apps aren’t the only solution; treat them as tools to see people you would otherwise not engage with. Take time praying, educating, and learning from those dating to be ready to offer advice.

So, is church then the answer to dating? Should we have speed dating events? The church is where we gather to be in the presence of the Lord, worshiping, growing, serving, fellowshipping, and making disciples. When we stray from the Great Commandment and Great Commission, we risk becoming a “market” to those looking to date. They come looking for possibilities to date, not opportunities to encounter the living God. Keep your church focused on making disciples; along the way, like-minded followers may take the next step in their relationships.

This article was originally published by Lifeway Research and is reposted here with permission. Read the original article at:

https://research.lifeway.com/2025/02/13/dating-and-the-church-how-should-the-church-treat-singles/

How Churches Can Treat Singles with Biblical Clarity and Belonging

The question of how the church should treat singles is not a secondary issue. It is central to discipleship, community, and long term church health.

According to the United States Census Bureau, nearly half of adults ages 18 to 29 are unmarried. Across all adult age groups, single adults represent a significant and growing portion of the population. This reality means churches must think carefully about how they speak to, disciple, and integrate singles at every life stage.
Source: https://www.census.gov/data/tables/time-series/demo/families/marital.html

At the same time, many singles report feeling overlooked or unintentionally marginalized in church culture that centers primarily on marriage and parenting. When dating becomes the primary lens through which singles are viewed, their identity in Christ can be reduced to relationship status rather than spiritual calling.

A healthy church culture affirms that single adults are not incomplete. They are fully part of the body of Christ. Scripture presents singleness not as a problem to solve but as a calling that can uniquely advance the gospel. Churches that treat singles with dignity, clarity, and intentional discipleship pathways cultivate stronger, more resilient communities.

Understanding current single adult statistics in America helps leaders see that singles ministry is not niche programming. It is a central strategy for reaching a growing life stage demographic.
https://www.tfoministries.org/single-adult-statistics-in-america

Churches should also evaluate what young adults look for in a church, especially as many singles fall within the young adult demographic. Belonging, biblical teaching, and meaningful relationships consistently rise to the top.
https://www.tfoministries.org/what-young-adults-look-for-in-a-church

Ultimately, how a church treats singles communicates its theology of identity. When single adults are integrated into leadership, discipleship, and mission rather than isolated by relationship status, the entire church becomes healthier. The goal is not to prioritize singleness over marriage. The goal is to reflect the fullness of the body of Christ.

Frequently Asked Questions About Singles and the Church

How should the church treat single adults?

The church should treat single adults as full members of the body of Christ, integrating them into leadership, discipleship pathways, and meaningful community rather than defining them primarily by relationship status.

Is singleness biblical?

Yes. Scripture affirms singleness as a valid and meaningful calling. Both Jesus and the Apostle Paul modeled lives of faithfulness outside of marriage, demonstrating that spiritual maturity is not tied to marital status.

Why do some singles feel overlooked in church?

Many churches unintentionally center programming around marriage and parenting stages. When this happens, singles may feel peripheral unless churches intentionally cultivate belonging and integration across life stages.

What Should We Call Our Singles Ministry?

Sun, 18 Jan 2026 10:02:00 GMT

If your church is asking what to call a singles ministry, you are already asking the right question. The name you choose communicates more than you realize. It signals who belongs, what is valued, and whether single adults are seen as a demographic category or as a vital part of the church family.

According to the U.S. Census Bureau , more than 44 percent of adults in America are unmarried. That represents over 100 million people in the United States. In 1960, single-person households made up just 13 percent of homes. In 2022, that number rose to 29 percent.

This is not a niche audience. This is your community. For a deeper look at the scope of this demographic shift, see our research on Single Adult Statistics in America

Why the Name Matters More Than You Think

Words shape culture. Many churches default to “Singles Ministry” because it feels clear and practical. But clarity is not the same thing as connection. For many single adults, the word singles feels like a label instead of an identity. It can unintentionally communicate:

This is a temporary holding room until you get married.
This is primarily about dating.
This is separate from the core life of the church.

Yet Scripture does not treat singleness as secondary. Paul speaks of calling, not category (1 Corinthians 7). Jesus Himself was single. The church is not built around marital status but around being Complete in Christ. If your theology of singleness needs strengthening, read Embrace the Table

Modern Alternatives to “Singles Ministry”

Instead of centering the ministry on relationship status, consider centering it on purpose, discipleship, or belonging.

Community-Focused Names

• The Gathering
• The Table
• The Collective
• The Community
• City Groups
• The Porch

These align with high-performing search terms such as:

• Christian community groups
• church small groups near me
• young adult church groups
• faith-based community events

Discipleship-Focused Names

• The Way
• Rooted
• Forward
• Next Step
• Faith & Life
• Complete in Christ Groups

If your ministry philosophy emphasizes disciple-making over programming, explore Disciple-Making for Single Adults

If your primary demographic is 20s–30s, “ Young Adult Ministry ” performs better in search than “ Singles Ministry .”

Examples:

• Young Adults Collective
• 20s & 30s Ministry
• The Bridge
• The Exchange
• Generation Now

What to Avoid When Naming Your Singles Ministry

Avoid names that:

• Sound like dating services
• Separate singles from the life of the church
• Create silos within the body
• Feel exclusive or trendy but lack theological depth

Research from outreach to growing churches revealed many leaders did not know the percentage of singles in their congregation. Awareness is the first step toward intentional ministry. Before renaming, evaluate whether your church is truly single-friendly:
Is Your Church Single Adult Friendly ?

A Better Question Than “What’s Another Name?”

Instead of asking for a new label, ask:

• What is our mission with single adults?
• Are we building disciples or hosting events?
• Does our name reflect belonging and completeness in Christ?

At Table for One Ministries, our conviction remains this: Single adults are not waiting to be completed. They are Complete in Christ. If you are launching or rebranding, consider starting with a catalytic vision event: Complete in Christ Catalytic Event

The church does not exist to categorize people by marital status. It exists to form disciples who love God and love others. Your ministry name should reflect that calling. Whether you choose “Young Adults,” “The Table,” “Community Groups,” or something contextual to your city, the aim remains:

Build authentic community.
Make disciples as Jesus did.
Help single adults live Complete in Christ.

FAQ Section

What is a better name than singles ministry?

Names focused on community or discipleship—such as Young Adults, The Gathering, or Complete in Christ Groups—often resonate more strongly than Singles Ministry.

Is singles ministry still relevant in 2026?

Yes. With over 100 million unmarried adults in America and growing single-person households, intentional engagement remains critical.

Should churches integrate singles and married adults?

Healthy churches often provide targeted discipleship environments while maintaining unity in the broader body.

What do single adults look for in church groups?

Research consistently shows they value authentic relationships, Bible study, and belonging.

3 Ways Kids Ministry Can Hinder Young Adult Ministry

Fri, 16 Jan 2026 19:13:00 GMT

Is your kids ministry holding back your young adult ministry? Every connection point is important in making disciples.

A new young family is walking through the front doors of your church. Excited at a chance to connect a fresh face to your church family, you walk up and say hello. It’s just a few moments before worship starts, so you rush them down to the kids welcome desk, get the children’s name tags, and hand the parents their security tag for pick up. The kids, ages one and three, are eager to meet new friends, and after a quick tour of the hall, you take the parents back to worship, just in before the first song finishes.

It’s just a few moments before worship starts, so you rush them down to the kids welcome desk, get the children’s name tags, and hand the parents their security tag for pick-up.

The kids, ages one and three, are eager to meet new friends, and after a quick tour of the hall, you take the parents back to worship, just in before the first song finishes.

The service ends late again, and a herd of parents rushes through the hallway, ready to get to lunch. After waiting in line, both kids are secured, and you see them heading toward the exit.

Politely, you get in the way and ask if they had a good morning. They said they had a great morning, shook hands, and walked to their car. As a pastor, you tell several others about the young family you met—likely mid-20s—and you’re confident you’ll see them again.

In the minivan, a post-church evaluation starts on the way to a drive-through before nap time hits. They talk about how it was a lovely church, and the kids seemed happy, but they (as adults) are unsure where they “fit in” to the church community, raising a family in their mid-30s.

Most churches do an excellent job of ministering, supporting, engaging, and keeping kids safe. The question is: Are we reaching the family or only the kids through our efforts?

Consider these three ways your kids ministry could be holding your young adult ministry back.

1. Forgetting about the family, while reaching children

We can be so focused on children that we neglect to see the adults in front of us. Reaching kids is equally as vital as reaching their parent(s) or guardian(s). Here are a few ways to connect our kids ministry “win” to our young adult ministry “win.”

Family-centric design

Look at all areas of ministry in your church and see how families can be involved. Kids choir is excellent, but combine the show with the adults who bring them, and you have family worship.

Special days in the hallway don’t have to be just for the kids. Give options for adults to join their kids in the special day by making time for them to connect before or after their time in the hallway. It could also be a great one-time opportunity to serve adults, leading to more volunteer involvement in your church.

Communicating the next steps

Instead of just drop-off and pick-up, invite parents to take their next step. Collaborate with adult group leaders to cross-promote groups, events, and training.

Each time you have an adult in the kids area, consider their community as much as you do their children’s. If you want to promote a parenting opportunity, target your kids area first and then the pulpit for more transparent communication.

Calendar alignment

When planning your church calendar, instead of coming to a meeting to plan your area’s events, dream together to create a family-aligned calendar. This will help families with kids of all ages participate in more areas and ensure you have volunteers to support your initiatives. Busy isn’t the goal when considering a family-centric calendar; better is.

“Busy isn’t the goal when considering a family-centric calendar; better is.” — @PJ_Dunn

2. Not using data to drive ministry decisions

Feelings based on personal opinions and not data lead to ineffective ministry decisions. We must inspect what we expect through data to evaluate if our kids ministry is helping or hindering our young adult efforts. Are we reaching our entire community or simply connecting those who already understand church culture?

VBS and kids events

Consider your community’s young adult demographic information when planning a time and date for your evangelistic efforts.

What age are parents in your community?
How will we connect with families that have two working adults?
When can a working single parent participate?
During which school break can we most effectively do our event?

You may find moving VBS or a large kids event to a winter or fall break is more effective for your community than competing with a busy summer calendar. Then consider which event time is best for those in the community you want to reach. Every context is different, even in similar geographic locations. Ensure data gets a seat at the table when event planning.

Know your young adults

If you assume who a young adult is , you will likely miss them. First, the term young is relative, not definitive. The average age for first-time marriage for women is 28 and for men is 30.

Dating and relationships have also changed dramatically in recent years . Analysis from Pew Research  found more than half of adults aged 18-44 (59%) have lived with a romantic partner at least once, surpassing the 50% who have never been married.

Equipping yourself and kids volunteers with this information can help connect young adults from the hallway to the community by not assuming their stage of life.

Single parents can get lost

Married young adults 25-34 are divorcing at a rate of nearly 20% . When your church hosts women’s and men’s events, special events, or mission opportunities, your kids ministry needs to advocate for single parents.

Ensure they feel invited and welcomed while removing barriers (such as costs) for them to have an opportunity to engage. If you know of single mothers engaging with your kids area, connect them to a minister, leader, or deacon to see how the church can minister to and support them.

Doing things the way we always have

If you measure success by your current results, you’ll hit it every time. Your church’s mission, vision, values, and strategy must permeate every ministry, volunteer, and calendar, including your kids ministry.

“Your church's mission, vision, values, and strategy must permeate every ministry, volunteer, and calendar, including your kids ministry.” — @PJ_Dunn

Neglecting those values creates ministry silos that ultimately drive young adults to choose between them or their children engaging in discipleship. Consider ways to challenge the process to increase connections between young adult groups and the ministry in your kid’s area, and measure those results with data.

3. Not authentically engaging young adults

Nearly 1 in 3 young adults say they have  no trusted relationships . When your children’s ministry interacts with families, it’s easy for the focus to be on the child and for the adult to feel invisible.

There’s a consistent opportunity for kids volunteers to authentically connect with young adults and build a relationship to connect them in the community, as they seek to find belonging in your church .

Seen

A lot is going on at drop-off and pick-up times, but consider having key leaders and volunteers nearby when picking up to make a next step opportunities happen. Send children home with communication to parents, not just information about the next kids ministry event.

Named

Consider placing pick-up tags (often sticky) on the fronts of adults who enter the kids area. This not only increases the security of those in the kids area but also gives volunteers a chance to look up and ask for their names and their kids’ names. Using a name is powerful; find ways to do this for the adults and kids.

Known

When we treat the adults dropping off their kids in the same care we do their kids, we’ll connect them in discipleship. Allowing a young adult to slip in and out may feel like respecting their privacy, but this time is an opportunity to show them God’s love (1 John 4) and invite them into community.

Asking if our kids ministry is holding back our young adult ministry is a challenging evaluation. Taking the time to ask hard questions and honestly answer them will lead to success for both ministry areas.

Consider reaching out to parents, leaders, and volunteers for evaluation. Then measure your changes and see if you’re hitting your goals.

Every connection point is important in making disciples, even the ones we sometimes overlook in kids ministry.

This article was originally published by Lifeway Research and is reposted with permission. Read the original article at Lifeway Research: https://research.lifeway.com/2025/06/05/3-ways-your-kids-ministry-could-hinder-your-young-adult-ministry/

Why Kids Ministry and Young Adult Ministry Must Work Together

Churches often treat kids ministry and young adult ministry as separate silos. Yet the long term health of the church depends on how well these ministries align.

According to the United States Census Bureau, nearly half of adults ages 18 to 29 are unmarried. Many young adults are not yet parents and may not feel connected to children or family programming. If church culture revolves almost entirely around parenting stages, single young adults can unintentionally feel peripheral rather than central.
Source: https://www.census.gov/data/tables/time-series/demo/families/marital.html

At the same time, Pew Research Center continues to document generational shifts in religious affiliation, with younger adults less likely to identify with organized religion than older generations. This means churches must be intentional about building belonging before family life stages become the primary connector.
Source: https://www.pewresearch.org/religion/

A strong kids ministry is a gift. But when a church’s identity becomes defined primarily by children’s programming, young adults without children may struggle to see their place in the mission. The goal is not to diminish kids ministry. The goal is integration.

Healthy churches cultivate a discipleship culture where:

Young adults serve in kids ministry as mentors
Parents are discipled alongside their children
Single adults are valued as spiritual family
Generations worship and serve together

Before developing strategy, churches should clarify how they are defining young adults in church ministry. Clear definitions help leaders avoid assuming that “young adult” only means “young parent.”
https://www.tfoministries.org/what-young-adults-look-for-in-a-church

Understanding current single adult statistics in America also helps churches recognize that young adult ministry is not a side strategy. It is central to engaging a growing life stage demographic.
https://www.tfoministries.org/single-adult-statistics-in-america

Ultimately, kids ministry and young adult ministry should not compete. They should reinforce one another through intentional discipleship pathways that move people from being served to serving and from attending to multiplying. Churches that build this kind of intergenerational culture position themselves for long term renewal and growth.

Frequently Asked Questions About Kids and Young Adult Ministry

Can kids ministry negatively impact young adult ministry?

Kids ministry does not inherently harm young adult ministry. However, when church identity becomes centered only on parenting stages, unmarried or childless young adults may struggle to find belonging.

How can churches balance kids ministry and young adult ministry?

Churches can balance both by creating intergenerational discipleship pathways where young adults serve, mentor, and lead alongside families rather than functioning in isolated ministry silos.

Why is young adult ministry important for church growth?

Young adults represent future leaders, parents, and disciple makers. According to U.S. Census data, nearly half of adults ages 18 to 29 are unmarried, making this a significant life stage for intentional engagement.

5 Ways to Minister to College Students This Summer

Tue, 13 Jan 2026 11:39:00 GMT

For many college students returning home for the summer, the church didn’t move, but the seat doesn’t feel saved for them anymore.

Many things run through the minds of college students at the end of the academic year. Exams are over, and summer is here! Families and friends ask when you’ll be back, and you begin counting the weeks and days of relaxing, maybe working, or going on exciting trips. Looking at your calendar, you see six to eight weeks of being away from school and back “home.”

However, as an emerging adult, you start to feel “home” changing. It may not be just one physical location like it once was, as you made a home while away at school. You look on social media to see friends traveling, wondering who will be there if you go to church this Sunday.

Will you have a seat in a group, or should you slide into the service a few minutes late? You have friends in the youth ministry but want to be treated like an adult. You arrive at the heart of the issue: “Is there a place for me anymore at my church back home?”

Our churches are searching fo r ways to connect youth as they emerge into adulthood. Here are five ways your church can balance discipling college students re-entering your church this summer.

1. College students are not who we think they are

According to a report from the National Center for Education Statistics , undergraduate enrollment after graduating from high school fell by 15% from fall 2010 to fall 2021. Also, in 2021, 61% of undergraduate students were enrolled in at least one distance education class, with nearly 3 in 10 exclusively taking courses online.

Not only are we finding college students choosing to stay closer to home and do distant learning, but they are also older and working. According to stats from the Lumina Foundation , 34% of college students are 25 or older, with 80% working in some capacity and 30% working full-time. If we’re going to minister to college students, we have to see the college student of today, not of years past.

“If we’re going to minister to college students, we have to see the college student of today, not of years past.” — @PJ_Dunn

Even with these statistics, some of our churches have 18-22-year-olds who are full-time college students who travel away from their homes for semesters of study. For many college students returning home for the summer, the church didn’t move, but the seat doesn’t feel saved for them anymore. A one-size-fits-all Sunday class won’t meet the diverse needs of post-high school emerging young adults.

2. College students are emerging adults, not youth

Emerging adults are young adults who are not yet paying for health insurance and are also no longer in the youth group. Some are in college full-time or part-time, while others are at home and may be full-time online students, making it challenging for the local church to program a tried-and-true “college and career class.”

With students and youth, we lean on filling up a calendar with events and ensuring there’s always somewhere to be. However, emerging adults have changed and are looking for more relational connection points and less of a busy calendar.

Don’t arbitrarily create calendars and programs assuming who the student is. When looking to connect and minister to college students who are home for the summer, list them by name and build relational environments around those emerging adults.

3. College students need re-entry relationships and discipleship this summer

A missed opportunity this summer could result in a missing generation in our churches. Churches that place themselves in the shoes of those they’re trying to reach will reach them. For the college student who comes home this summer, there’s a unique opportunity to disciple them and meet their needs, starting with re-entry.

Coming home from college should feel welcoming for young adults and shouldn’t just be a place they’re passing through. Consider starting to communicate with those who might be home this summer a few weeks before college semesters begin wrapping up. Invite them to a gathering or simple coffee to catch up on their stories from the semester. Be a friend worth having by listening to and engaging with them to take the next step of discipleship this summer.

Your church’s culture of discipleship will inform your ability to disciple college students who are home for the summer. A discipleship culture with opportunities for different types of spiritual growth environments will have a higher chance of connecting short-term opportunities.

Creating a discipleship pathway for college students who are home for the summer is not just a Bible study on Sunday morning. It’s the intentional micro-steps of instilling or reinforcing spiritual disciplines in their lives to carry them through life.

This may fit a predetermined curriculum, but think outside of the box to create disciple-making moments. A weekly structured gathering may work for our calendars, but does it work for those we invite? Consider more extended gatherings at predetermined times to allow for work, family, and vacation schedules during the summer. There is not one way to schedule discipleship, but we can hit what we aim for. And we need to be aiming at making disciples.

4. Don’t entertain college students this summer; empower them

Disciples share the gospel, go on missions, and serve others. College students’ summers may be short, but their impact doesn’t have to be. Consider ways to capture their stories from the prior year and share them with their church family. Youth need to be shown they will soon be emerging as adults, and there’s no better way to show them how to do it than by connecting them to those in that life stage.

College students could serve at a youth camp, a youth mission trip, or a youth event while home, but don’t assume that’s their only way to share their stories. Many re-entering may not want to serve in those capacities as they forge their way into adulthood, distancing themselves from their youth the year before. Offer them adult mission trips, adult service opportunities, and young adult discipleship groups so they can choose which environment they are most comfortable in while at home.

Churches of any size can empower college students while at home if we plan intentionally and relationally engage those returning. They need to know they have a place to worship, serve, grow, and share their faith no matter how many weeks they’re with us. They want to be seen, named, and known authentically rather than treated as a number to be counted.

“Churches of any size can empower college students while at home if we plan intentionally and relationally engage those returning.” — @PJ_Dunn

5. Reach college students coming home and those who never left

In our excitement, it’s easy to focus on re-engaging our college students who came back to the church for the summer and forget about those 18+ in our church or community who never left and can feel left out. We need strategies that speak to the person we’re engaging and not assume everyone fits one mold.

Targeted communication with college students coming home will connect them while they’re home. Remember that this is done best through relational communication, not a pulpit announcement or an isolated gathering.

If we aim for relationships and discipleship, we’ll see fruit. If we aim for events, we’ll fill our calendar. A one-size-fits-all solution no longer works for the emerging adult population. To advance the gospel, we must focus on the relationship and see the person.

We need to be the church, to all the church, to all our emerging adults. While some will marry, this group of emerging adults is predominantly single . They crave community and friendships, and if we provide disciple-making environments where that can happen, we will connect all emerging adults to the local church.

This article was originally published by Lifeway Research and is reposted here with permission. Read the original article at:

https://research.lifeway.com/2025/04/21/5-ways-to-minister-to-college-students-this-summer/

Why Summer Ministry to College Students Matters More Than Ever

Summer often becomes a pause season for churches. For college students, it is a transition season. And transitions are strategic moments for discipleship.

According to the United States Census Bureau, nearly half of adults ages 18 to 29 are unmarried. Many college students are navigating independence, identity formation, and spiritual development without the stability of long term community. Churches that intentionally minister to college students during the summer can create critical relational anchors.
Source: https://www.census.gov/data/tables/time-series/demo/families/marital.html

Research from Pew Research Center continues to show that younger generations are less likely to identify with organized religion than previous generations. However, many still express spiritual curiosity. The issue is often not belief. It is connection and discipleship.
Source: https://www.pewresearch.org/religion/

College students who return home for the summer are not simply visitors. They are future leaders, missionaries, and disciple makers. Churches that treat them as temporary guests miss an opportunity. Churches that integrate them into meaningful service, mentoring relationships, and leadership development build long term kingdom impact.

Before developing strategy, churches should clarify how they are defining young adults in church ministry. College students may overlap with high school graduates, young professionals, and single adults. Clear definitions help churches design intentional pathways rather than reactive programming.
https://www.tfoministries.org/what-young-adults-look-for-in-a-church

Understanding what young adults look for in a church also helps leaders avoid assumptions. Belonging, biblical clarity, and meaningful relationships consistently rise to the top.
https://www.tfoministries.org/what-young-adults-look-for-in-a-church

Ultimately, summer ministry to college students is not about filling volunteer gaps. It is about cultivating disciple makers who carry their faith into campus, career, and calling.

Frequently Asked Questions About Ministering to College Students

Why should churches focus on college students during the summer?

Summer is a transition season when many college students return home. Churches can use this opportunity to build relationships, provide mentorship, and integrate students into meaningful ministry roles.

How can churches engage college students effectively?

Churches can engage college students by offering intentional discipleship, leadership opportunities, service roles, and cross generational community rather than treating them as temporary attendees.

What do college students look for in a church?

College students often look for authentic relationships, clear biblical teaching, and opportunities to make an impact. Belonging and mentorship are key factors in long term engagement.

Christian Mingle vs. Biblical Community: What Single Adults Are Really Searching For

Sun, 11 Jan 2026 09:57:00 GMT

Searching Christian Mingle? There’s Something Better for Christian Singles

If you searched for “Christian Mingle,” “Christian dating apps,” “Christian singles near me,” or “best dating site for Christians,” you are not alone.

Millions of single adults are looking for connection. They are searching for a spouse. They are searching for companionship. And often, beneath all of that, they are searching for belonging. But here is the deeper question.

Are you looking for someone to match with? Or somewhere to belong?

Those are not the same thing. In 2026, Christian singles are navigating a culture that is more connected digitally than ever before—and yet lonelier than at any time in recent history. The answer is not merely better technology. It is better theology and deeper community.

The State of Christian Singles in America

The conversation around Christian dating cannot ignore the cultural moment we are in. According to the U.S. Census Bureau , nearly 46% of adults in America are unmarried. Single-person households have more than doubled since 1960 , now accounting for 29% of U.S. households.

At the same time, the U.S. Surgeon General reports that approximately half of U.S. adults report experiencing loneliness. Loneliness is not just emotional. It carries physical consequences. The Surgeon General states that lacking social connection increases the risk of premature death comparable to smoking 15 cigarettes per day. This is not merely a dating issue. It is a discipleship issue.

That should stop us. This is not a niche issue. It is a discipleship issue. It is a church issue. It is a gospel opportunity. And Christian singles feel it acutely.

They sit in worship services surrounded by families . They scroll through engagement announcements. They attend weddings and baby showers. And quietly, many wonder where they fit. The question is not whether singles desire marriage. Many do. The deeper question is whether marriage has become the assumed finish line of Christian adulthood.

Is Christian Mingle the Answer?

Christian Mingle is one of the most recognized Christian dating platforms in the world. It markets itself as a place where Christian singles can meet others who share their faith and values.

There is nothing inherently sinful about technology that introduces two believers. Many healthy marriages have begun online. But technology cannot disciple you. An app can introduce you to a person. It cannot form your identity. It cannot heal your loneliness. It cannot replace the local church. Marriage is a covenant. It is sacred. It reflects Christ and His Church. But marriage is not salvation. It is not completion. It is not the solution to existential isolation. Only Christ fills that space.

Complete in Christ Before You Ever Date

Colossians 2:10 reminds believers that we are complete in Him. That word complete carries the idea of fullness—lacking nothing. Single does not mean half. Single does not mean waiting. Single does not mean unfinished.Your marital status does not determine your spiritual maturity. Your relationship status does not define your usefulness in the Kingdom.

Jesus was single. The Apostle Paul was single. Many of the most faithful servants of God throughout history were unmarried.The finish line of the Christian life is not a wedding aisle. It is faithfulness to Christ.This theological foundation changes everything about dating.If you date from emptiness, you will look for someone to complete you.

If you date from fullness, you will look for someone to complement you.That is a radically different posture.

The Real Crisis: Loneliness, Not Singleness

It is important to say this clearly. The problem is not singleness. The problem is isolation.

The Surgeon General’s Advisory highlights that loneliness affects roughly one in two American adults. And young adults report some of the highest levels of loneliness. That includes Christian young adults. Many churches unintentionally reinforce this isolation. Research from early Table for One ministry research revealed that many congregations did not even know what percentage of their church was single. If we do not see singles, we cannot shepherd them well. When singles were surveyed about what they wanted most in ministry, the highest priorities were not dating events. They were:

Small groups
Authentic relationships
Bible study
Service opportunities

They wanted to be known. They wanted to grow. They wanted community. Dating may be part of that journey. But discipleship must be central.

Christian Dating in 2026: A Better Framework

Search trends show increased interest in:

Christian dating apps
Christian relationship advice
Christian singles over 30
Christian singles over 40
Christian single parents dating
Best churches for singles near me

These searches reveal something important. Singles are not only looking for romance. They are looking for guidance and belonging. So what does healthy Christian dating look like?

It begins with identity in Christ.
It continues with active involvement in a local church.
It is strengthened by accountability and biblical counsel.
It matures through spiritual formation, not just chemistry.

Dating should be an extension of discipleship—not a substitute for it. If your primary Christian community exists inside a messaging app, you are spiritually vulnerable. The local church is not optional for Christian maturity. It is God’s design.

What the Church Must Do

Churches must stop assuming singles are a temporary demographic. In many communities, singles represent nearly half the adult population.We cannot build ministries around a model that assumes marriage as the default spiritual norm.We must:

Preach sermons that speak to all life stages
Integrate singles into leadership
Create intentional small groups
Offer situational care for widows, divorced adults, and single parents
Cultivate intergenerational relationships

When the Church functions as family, loneliness begins to diminish. Psalm 68:6 declares that God places the lonely in families. The Church is meant to embody that promise.

If You Still Desire Marriage

Desiring marriage is good. Scripture affirms it as a covenant between one man and one woman, reflecting Christ and the Church. But desire must not become dependency. Marriage is a gift. It is not a guarantee. It is not a god.

When marriage becomes ultimate, disappointment becomes devastating. When Christ is ultimate, marriage becomes a blessing rather than a burden. The healthiest Christian marriages are formed by two people who were already complete in Christ before they met.

A Word to the Single Adult Reading This

If you searched “Christian Mingle” late at night, wondering if this is your only path forward, hear this gently.

You are not behind.
You are not forgotten.
You are not spiritually deficient.
Your life is not on hold.
This season is not a waiting room. It is a calling.

Use it to deepen your walk with Christ. Use it to invest in others. Use it to build meaningful friendships. Use it to serve. Marriage may come. It may not. But Christ is present now. And He is enough.

FAQ for Christian Mingle

Is Christian Mingle a good option for Christian dating?

It may introduce believers, but it cannot replace discipleship, church involvement, or spiritual formation.

How many adults in America are single?

Nearly 46% of U.S. adults are unmarried, according to the U.S. Census Bureau.

Does marriage fix loneliness?

No. The Surgeon General reports that loneliness affects married and unmarried adults alike.

What does it mean to be Complete in Christ?

It means your identity, worth, and spiritual fullness are grounded in Jesus—not in your relationship status.

Why National Single Parent Day Should Matter to the Church in 2026

Sat, 10 Jan 2026 12:19:00 GMT

March 21st every year is recognized as National Single Parent Day , a day to honor the hard work, sacrifices, and dedication of single parents raising children. According to the U.S. Census Bureau , there are more than 11 million single-parent families in the United States, with mothers making up 80% of these households. For the church, National Single Parent Day presents an important opportunity to support, encourage, and uplift single parents who are navigating the difficult journey of raising children on their own.

Here’s why National Single Parent Day should matter to the church:

1. A Growing Community of Single Parents

2. Biblical Call to Care for Single Parents

3. Encouraging Single Parents to Be Complete in Christ

4. Building a Supportive Community

5. Equipping the Next Generation

National Single Parent Day Awareness

National Single Parent Day is more than just a day of recognition—it’s an opportunity for the church to step up and support a growing and often underserved group within its community. By offering practical help, spiritual encouragement, and a sense of belonging, the church can make a significant difference in the lives of single parents. Through these efforts, single parents can experience the fullness of being complete in Christ and find strength to navigate the challenges they face.

My Kids in the Basement? Rethinking Church Space and Belonging

Fri, 09 Jan 2026 18:53:08 GMT

To understand the modern reality of kids living in their parents’ basement, we must consider both their upbringing and external factors.

Years of dreaming and shopping for an RV have led to the big moment: hitting the road in a motor home with your spouse for a trip of a lifetime. Just as you’ve mapped out your route through the Grand Canyon, you and your spouse get a group text from your daughter. “Mom, Dad, would it be OK if I moved back home for a bit after graduation to save money?” That was eight years ago, and while you love her, she still lives in the basement.

Maybe your young adult stayed home after high school and entered the workforce. You were happy to help them get the chance you never had to save money and launch. But now they show no signs of moving out and remind you daily that things are not like they were when you were their age. What has changed in our culture, and why does it feel like our children are not adulting?

As of 2022, over half (56%) of adults aged 18-24 lived in their parent’s homes . Between 1960 and 2022, the percentage of young adults ages 18-24 living with their parents increased from 52% to 57% for men and from 35% to 55% for women. Elevated housing costs across America and the cost of living have heavily influenced young adults to stay home with their parents. To understand the current reality of young adults living at home, we must be honest about their upbringing instead of only blaming external factors.

Adulting has always been hard

One of my favorite rides is the Carousel of Progress at Disney World. While the title “ride” is generous, this rotating robot theater documentary was built for the 1964-1965 World’s Fair. It demonstrates aspects of American life in the 1900s, 1920s, 1940s, and future and present day with an iconic song, “It’s a Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow” by the Sherman Brothers.

It’s an extremely optimistic journey of looking back and being thankful for today’s modern conveniences, not the hardships of the current reality. What if we paid more attention to where God has brought us from than where we are going, resting in a Savior who calls us to focus on today, not tomorrow?

Adulting isn’t supposed to be easy, and it never has been. Jesus never promised comfort, but He did promise we wouldn’t face this life it alone. “I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. You will have suffering in this world. Be courageous! I have conquered the world” (John 16:33, CSB).

Even as Jesus adulted, He struggled to be accepted in His hometown (John 1:11). The Israelites constantly looked back in nostalgia to Egypt—a land they prayed to be delivered from—as a season where they had it better than their current reality (Numbers 11:4-6).

Parents, lean into Ecclesiastes 7:10 and listen to your young adult living at home while offering wisdom and guidance toward their beautiful tomorrow when they are complete in Christ.

Parent your child to be an adult

When Hannah dedicated Samuel to the Lord, she did so because she knew he belonged to the Lord first (1 Samuel 1:27-28). We live in a culture where parents are defined by their children, not Jesus.

Parents, you are not complete because of your child’s success, financial stability, social status, sports accomplishments, social activities, education, or possible future of marriage and grandkids. You are complete in Christ. You need to parent with the end goal of your child belonging to the Lord and walking with Him.

Parenting is a huge responsibility. It’s easy when they’re little to lose sight of Proverbs 22:6 to raise them young to follow Jesus so they will not depart from it when they’re older. The boundaries we set for toddlers have implications when they’re teens.

To keep our eyes on Christ’s plan for their lives, we must pause daily and remember we are raising adults who belong to the Lord. It’s not easy, but you’re not alone in this journey. This is where the local church intersects the family to provide biblical environments to strengthen parents to lead their children.

“To keep our eyes on Christ’s plan for their lives, we must pause daily and remember we are raising adults who belong to the Lord.” — @PJ_Dunn

Give opportunities, not life support

It’s easy to slip into the trap of doing the work for our children instead of allowing them to learn the lesson. The parable of the prodigal son illustrates how life presents growth opportunities despite the wrong decisions our children make. It reminds us that while mistakes may lead to hardship, they also create moments for learning, grace, and redemption. If your young adult in the basement is on life support, not opportunity support, it’s time to change.

Opportunities have freedom, guardrails, and clarity of next steps. We do an injustice to our young adults when we give them complete freedom while they are still launching as adults. Guardrails look less like curfew and more like training wheels. Teaching our children how to budget and manage money at an early age teaches them the fruit of the spirit as much as how to balance a checking account. It’s never too late to start implementing guardrails. They guide our young adults to Jesus and adulthood.

Our churches likewise need to see young adults as volunteers and disciple makers . Creating ministries may be easier to manage than walking with young adults. However, with 1 in 3 young adults feeling completely alone , they’re desperate for a relationship with Jesus and a trusted adult. We must offer opportunities for young adults in the church and model the expectation that parents do the same.

Adapt to the current reality of your young adult

“Opportunities have freedom, guardrails, and clarity of next steps. We do an injustice to our young adults when we give them complete freedom while they are still launching as adults.” — @PJ_Dunn

The beginning of the 20th century saw an average life expectancy of just over 43 years. For those born in the 1950s and 1960s, life expectancy was around 70 . In 2023, a few years after the height of COVID-19, life expectancy was over 78 years and increasing slightly each year. We’re living longer, but our timeline for adulthood has not increased. We continue to hold the timeline for adulthood to the life expectancy we experienced, not the current reality. So why does this matter to parents and the local church? Let’s look at four key stats:

1. More than half of young adults are single.

Parents: Expect your young adult to be single, have single friends, and still be indecisive about long-term relationships.
Church: If you’re reaching your community, your young adult ministry will be predominantly single. Create authentic environments for them to serve and make disciples.

2. The average age for first-time marriage for women is 28 and for men is 30.

Parents: If your children attend college, expect them to come home unmarried.
Church: A young married ministry will attract late 20s and early 30s and fewer in their early 20s.

3. Mothers, on average, are 27 years old at their first birth.

Parents: If your young adult has children, it will likely be later in life for them and you than it was for you and your parents.
Church: Age-graded groups and ministry will have a wide range of life stages, unlike prior generations.

4. Young adults think they need $500,000 a year to succeed.

Parents: When young adults are unsure if they can even afford rent, it doesn’t help when you mention how much you paid for your starter home.
Church: Everything belongs to the Lord, and the things of this world are only temporary, not eternal.

Your young adult in the basement needs you, Jesus, and the local church. Together, as a team and through the Holy Spirit, your goal will not be to rush to empty nesting but to make disciples who make disciples. We are not a landlord to our children. We are influencing a generation to love God and love others.

The isolation of raising a child is only felt in the absence of a God who knows the number of hairs on their head, knows your children by name, and will draw them near in times of trouble. What an honor to offer our young adults options, not just support, when we are complete in Christ and trust in Him.

Why Church Space and Visibility Shape Long Term Discipleship

The question of where kids meet in a church building may seem practical. In reality, it reveals something deeper about church culture, belonging, and discipleship.

Physical space communicates theological values. When children, students, or young adults are placed in isolated corners of a facility without visibility or integration, it can unintentionally signal that they are peripheral rather than central to the body of Christ.

According to the United States Census Bureau, nearly half of adults ages 18 to 29 are unmarried. Many young adults do not yet have children and may struggle to find connection in church environments that revolve primarily around parenting stages. When ministry spaces are designed around separation rather than integration, belonging becomes harder to cultivate across life stages.
Source: https://www.census.gov/data/tables/time-series/demo/families/marital.html

Healthy churches think intentionally about how space reinforces discipleship culture. This does not mean eliminating age appropriate ministry. It means ensuring that children, students, single adults, young families, and older members all see themselves as part of one unified mission.

Understanding current single adult statistics in America helps leaders recognize that a significant portion of the congregation may not be connected through family based programming. Intentional integration matters.
https://www.tfoministries.org/single-adult-statistics-in-america

Churches should also consider what young adults look for in a church. Visibility, belonging, and authentic relationships consistently rise to the top.
https://www.tfoministries.org/what-young-adults-look-for-in-a-church

Ultimately, where ministry happens physically can influence whether people feel spiritually connected. Churches that design both space and culture to reinforce unity rather than isolation create stronger pathways for lifelong discipleship.

Frequently Asked Questions About Church Space and Ministry Integration

Does church building layout impact ministry effectiveness?

Yes. Physical space communicates values. When ministries are isolated without integration, members may feel disconnected from the broader mission of the church.

Should kids ministry be separate from the main church?

Age appropriate environments are important, but children and families should still experience visibility and integration within the life of the whole church.

How can churches create better intergenerational belonging?

Churches can design both physical spaces and ministry pathways that encourage shared worship, service opportunities, and cross generational discipleship relationships.

Christian Holidays in 2026

Wed, 07 Jan 2026 11:24:00 GMT

In 2025, Christian communities around the world will celebrate their faith through a variety of traditional holidays. These holidays not only highlight key events in the Christian faith but also provide opportunities for reflection, family gatherings, and community service. This blog will explore the significant Christian holidays in 2026, each offering unique meanings and practices that bring believers together.

1. The Joy of Epiphany Celebrations

Epiphany, celebrated on January 6, marks the revelation of Christ to the Gentiles, represented by the visit of the Magi. As we gather during this time, there’s a palpable sense of joy and hope in the air. Many Christian communities come together for church services, sharing stories and traditions that help us reconnect with the significance of this day. For singles, Epiphany can also be a time of reflection on their individual journeys and a reminder that God’s love embraces all, regardless of marital status.

Celebrating Epiphany often includes the practice of ‘king cake,’ a delightful treat that reflects the gifts bestowed upon Jesus. This festive cake reminds us of the abundance in God’s blessings, inviting everyone, including those single or far from family, to partake in the joy of community. Whether enjoying this tradition in a local gathering or online with friends, the essence of connection and spirituality flows through every slice and shared laugh.

2. Reflecting on Ash Wednesday

Ash Wednesday is a solemn day that begins the Lenten season, offering a time for reflection and repentance as we prepare for Easter. Observed on February 14 in 2026, this day serves as a poignant reminder of our human frailty and the need for divine grace. Many churches hold special services where ashes are applied to the forehead, symbolizing humility and our return to God. For individuals, particularly singles who may feel isolated, this is a powerful moment to recognize that in our solitude, we can still encounter God’s presence and love.

Engaging in personal reflection or communal worship on Ash Wednesday allows participants to explore their spiritual lives more deeply. Activities might include fasting or participating in community service, which fosters not only individual growth but also collective strength. These practices encourage us to extend love and charity to those around us. For singles, this compassionate outreach can create a sense of belonging, reminding them that they are part of a larger family of faith.

3. The Significance of Easter Sunday

Easter Sunday, falling on April 5 in 2026, stands at the heart of the Christian calendar, celebrating the resurrection of Jesus Christ. This day is filled with joy, triumph, and renewal, offering believers a chance to rejoice in the victory of life over death. It serves as a reminder that all, including those feeling alone, can find new beginnings through faith. As many congregations gather for special services, they also organize festive meals and activities that embrace the spirit of togetherness. Singles can discover a supportive community during Easter, where fellowship and shared belief create a joyful atmosphere.

In addition to traditional church services, many families and communities partake in egg hunts and other joyful activities that illuminate the season’s hope and renewal. For singles, joining in these celebrations provides opportunities to build connections and share in moments of happiness. These experiences highlight that Christian holidays are not just about family but are also a chance to extend God’s love and grace to others, reinforcing the idea that everyone is valued in God’s eyes. The celebration of Easter becomes not just a reflection of faith but also an invitation to embrace the richness of community.

4. The Tradition of Pentecost

Pentecost, which will be celebrated on June 8 in 2026, marks the descent of the Holy Spirit upon the apostles, empowering them to spread the Gospel. This vibrant holiday is not only significant for its historical roots but also for its message of empowerment and unity. On this day, believers come together to celebrate the Holy Spirit’s work in their lives. It offers a unique chance for singles to connect with the church community, fostering a sense of inclusion that resonates deeply. Embracing the Spirit can inspire individual service and outreach, making faith more personal and communal.

Activities surrounding Pentecost can vary greatly, ranging from special church services to communal meals. Many congregations organize events that focus on the gifts of the Spirit, bringing together all members of the church family, including those who might feel alone. Engaging in these celebrations creates bonds and lasting friendships. For singles, sharing the experience with others can help diminish feelings of isolation while reinforcing that everyone plays a vital role in the body of Christ, no matter their life circumstances.

5. Commemorating All Saints’ Day

All Saints’ Day, celebrated on November 1, is a time to remember and honor those who have gone before us in faith. This holiday serves as an important reminder that we are all part of a larger Christian family, transcending both time and earthly boundaries. Many communities hold memorial services or lighting candles in memory of saints and loved ones. For singles, this can be a time of reflection on personal ties to faith and the legacy of those who have influenced their spiritual journey. It’s an opportunity to celebrate the interconnected heritage of believers.

The act of remembering can bring comfort and a renewed sense of purpose for singles, encouraging connection with others experiencing similar reflections. Whether through local church gatherings or community events, All Saints’ Day serves as a reminder that no one walks this faith journey alone. In this spirit of unity, participants can share memories and stories, creating a sense of togetherness that can alleviate feelings of isolation. It’s a beautiful illustration of community, reminding us all that God’s love transcends worldly divisions.

6. The Meaning of Christmas Celebrations

Christmas, celebrated on December 25, is one of the most beloved Christian holidays, embodying the true essence of love and generosity through the birth of Jesus Christ. This season is especially poignant, as it acts as a reminder of God’s ultimate gift to humanity. Families gather, gifts are exchanged, and traditions are upheld. For singles, it can sometimes feel challenging, especially when social pressures ramp up. However, Christmas is also a time for reconnection and renewal of spirit, emphasizing that one’s value lies in their identity in Christ rather than their marital status.

In many congregations, Christmas services include beautiful music and communal celebrations that encourage participation from everyone. Christmas Eve services often bring together diverse congregants, allowing those who may feel alone to find solace and companionship. Many churches also involve outreach activities that enable singles to serve their communities, sharing in the goodwill and love that the season embodies. This generous spirit unites all participants, transforming what could feel like a lonely season into one filled with purpose and shared joy, reflecting Christ’s love for us.

4 Questions to Ask a Date Who Has Been Divorced (Christian Dating After Divorce)

Sun, 04 Jan 2026 16:42:00 GMT

Dating after divorce can bring its own unique set of challenges and complexities, especially for Christians who want to honor the Lord in their relationships. If you are dating someone who is divorced, it is wise to approach the relationship with care, understanding, and biblical discernment. Asking the right questions early can help you assess compatibility, identify potential red flags, and confirm whether your values and faith direction truly align.

This is not about interrogation . It is about clarity. In 2026, clarity is one of the greatest gifts you can bring to a relationship, and it is also one of the most loving things you can offer someone with a painful past.

Divorce is also not rare. The CDC reports a provisional 2023 divorce rate of 2.4 per 1,000 population among reporting states and DC.

The Census Bureau also shows divorce rates have generally declined over the last decade, but divorce remains a significant part of many adults’ stories.Through it all, we remember this: our ultimate completeness comes from Christ, not from a spouse.

What have you learned from your past marriage?

Understanding the lessons someone has taken away from their divorce can reveal a lot about their character, growth, and readiness for a new relationship. Divorce can be painful and deeply formative. For many people it becomes a turning point that exposes blind spots, reveals unhealthy patterns, and forces honest reflection.

Ask your date what they learned about themselves, their relationships, and their approach to marriage. Listen for humility. Listen for ownership. Listen for evidence of maturity. Have they recognized areas where they needed healing or growth? Are they more self aware now than they were then? Do they talk about the past with sobriety and truth, without living in blame or bitterness?

How has your relationship with Christ grown through this experience?

One of the most important aspects of any Christian relationship is the spiritual health of both individuals. When you ask a divorced person about their faith, you are not looking for a perfect story. You are looking for a real walk with Jesus. Have they drawn closer to Christ for comfort, strength, conviction, and direction?

Has the Lord shaped their view of grace, forgiveness, repentance, and accountability through this experience?

This question is also where you gently test the foundation. Are they seeking a relationship to fill emptiness, or are they dating from wholeness?

Colossians 2:10 reminds us that believers have been brought to fullness in Christ. Our identity and security are not built on relationship status.

What role did faith play in your previous marriage?

It is important to understand how faith actually functioned in their marriage, not just whether faith was a label they carried. Was faith a shared commitment and daily practice, or was it mostly nominal? Was there church involvement? Were there patterns of spiritual leadership, prayer, repentance, and community accountability? If the marriage lacked shared faith, what impact did that have? If both claimed Christ, what broke down spiritually over time?

This is not about digging for gossip. It is about understanding spiritual patterns, because patterns tend to repeat unless there has been real change.

What boundaries and healing processes have you put in place since your divorce?

Boundaries are essential for emotional health and long term relationship stability. When dating someone who has been divorced, it is wise to ask what they have done to heal and what safeguards they have put in place. Have they pursued counseling, pastoral care, or a trusted recovery group? Have they done the work of forgiveness and grief? If children are involved, have they established healthy coparenting boundaries that reduce conflict and protect the kids? Are there financial or legal realities that a future spouse would need to understand?

This question helps you discern whether the divorce is a closed chapter or still an open wound.

A pastoral note here: loneliness is real, and it can push people into relationships too quickly. The US Surgeon General’s advisory warns that lacking social connection can carry health risks comparable to smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day, and it notes that approximately half of US adults report experiencing loneliness.

That does not mean you should fear loneliness. It means you should not let loneliness drive your timeline.

Finding completeness in Christ

Asking these four questions is not about being overly cautious or suspicious. It is about honest communication and wise discernment. The goal of Christian dating is not to avoid all pain. The goal is to honor God and walk in truth.

Colossians 2:10 reminds us that we are complete in Christ. Whether single, dating, divorced, or remarried, our fulfillment is rooted in Jesus, not in another person. When we live from that wholeness, we are free to date with peace, patience, and integrity.

If you are dating someone who has been divorced, take your time. Invite wise counsel. Stay connected to the local church. Build slowly on trust, not urgency.

FAQ for Christian Dating After Divorce

Q. Is it biblical for a Christian to date someone who is divorced?
A. It depends on the circumstances and on whether the person is biblically free to remarry. Even when someone is legally divorced, Christians should pursue biblical wisdom, pastoral counsel, and a careful look at Scripture before moving toward marriage.

Q. What are the best questions to ask someone who is divorced before getting serious?
A. Start with these four: what they learned, how their relationship with Christ has grown, what role faith played in the marriage, and what healing and boundaries they have established since the divorce. Those questions reveal readiness, maturity, and alignment.

Q. What are common red flags when dating after divorce?
A. Ongoing bitterness, refusal to take any ownership, rushed intensity, secrecy about the past, unstable coparenting conflict, lack of accountability, and a pattern of blaming everyone else. Red flags do not mean you condemn the person. They mean you slow down and seek wisdom.

Q. How long should someone wait to date after divorce?
A. There is no universal timeline, but healing should be visible and supported by wise counsel. Look for emotional stability, consistent spiritual growth, and healthy boundaries. A good sign is when the divorce story can be shared honestly without anger controlling the room.

Q. How do I know if a divorced person is emotionally ready for a new relationship?
A. Emotional readiness usually includes humility, clear ownership, demonstrated change, appropriate boundaries with an ex spouse, and a life that is not dominated by unresolved conflict. They should be able to talk about the past without constantly reliving it.

Q. What if children are involved?
A. If children are involved, you are not only dating an individual, you are stepping toward a family system. Ask about coparenting boundaries, communication expectations, custody realities, and how the children are being cared for emotionally and spiritually.

Q. How should Christians think about loneliness while dating?
A. Loneliness is real, but it should not drive decisions. The Surgeon General has warned that lack of social connection is a serious health issue, and that many adults report loneliness.

The church should respond with meaningful community, and individuals should date from completeness in Christ, not from panic.

Q. Where can I find reliable divorce statistics in the United States?
A. Start with the CDC and the US Census Bureau.
https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/marriage-divorce.htm
https://w w w.census.gov/library/stories/2024/10/marriage-and-divorce.html

5 Reasons to attend a Christian Single Conference in 2026

Sat, 03 Jan 2026 15:21:00 GMT

Christian singles often face unique challenges in finding community, spiritual growth, and direction. One powerful solution to these challenges is attending a Christian singles conference . These gatherings offer a transformative experience, blending faith, fellowship, and personal growth, specifically tailored for single adults. If you’ve never attended one before, here are five compelling reasons why every Christian single should consider going.

1. Connect with Like-Minded Believers

One of the primary benefits of a Christian singles conference is the opportunity to connect with others who share your faith and values. As a single adult, finding a community that supports your Christian journey can sometimes feel daunting. Conferences such as the “Single Focused Conference” by TFO Ministries provide a unique platform to build lasting friendships with like-minded believers. In this environment, you are surrounded by individuals who understand the unique aspects of the Christian single experience, creating opportunities for deep, meaningful connections.

These connections often extend beyond the conference itself, forming a support network that can encourage your spiritual walk long after the event ends.

2. Grow Spiritually Through Focused Teaching

Another powerful reason to attend a Christian singles conference is the spiritual growth that comes from focused, relevant teaching. Conferences are designed to address the specific needs and questions that Christian singles often wrestle with. For example, sessions at the Single Focused Conference dive deep into topics like pursuing Christ while single, understanding your purpose, and living out God’s calling regardless of your relationship status.

These teachings offer more than just surface-level encouragement—they equip you with practical tools to grow in your relationship with God. You’ll leave with a renewed sense of purpose, knowing that your singleness is not a holding pattern but an intentional season of life that God can use for His glory.

3. Gain Encouragement and Hope

Life as a single adult can sometimes feel isolating or filled with societal pressures that emphasize marriage as the ultimate goal. However, at a Christian singles conference , you’re reminded that your identity is complete in Christ, not dependent on a relationship status. These events provide much-needed encouragement and hope, reinforcing the truth that God’s plan for your life is good—whether it includes marriage or not.

4. Be Empowered for Ministry

Attending a Christian singles conference is not only about personal growth—it’s also about being empowered to make a difference. Many conferences emphasize the importance of serving within your community and church. As a single Christian, you have unique opportunities to pour into others, and conferences like those hosted by TFO Ministries equip you to do just that.

Through workshops and networking, you’ll gain insights into how you can use your gifts, time, and talents to serve God’s kingdom. Whether it’s volunteering in your local church or starting a ministry for other singles, you’ll leave with the motivation and resources to step into the calling God has for you.

5. Experience a Renewed Sense of Purpose at Christian Singles Conference

Finally, a Christian singles conference can reignite your sense of purpose. The Bible is clear that singleness is not a season to be wasted, but a time to grow, serve, and draw closer to Christ. Conferences reinforce this message, helping attendees shift their focus from societal expectations to God’s greater plan.

With a variety of sessions that address both personal and spiritual growth, you’ll leave with a deeper understanding of how your singleness can be a powerful tool for God’s glory. Whether it’s through prayer, community service, or stepping into a new season of leadership, you’ll walk away with a renewed sense of purpose and excitement for what God has in store.

Attending a Christian singles conference is an investment in your spiritual, emotional, and social well-being to be complete in Christ. From deepening your faith to forming lasting friendships, the benefits of these gatherings are numerous. Whether you’re seeking community, spiritual growth, or clarity on your calling, a conference like the Single Focused Conference from TFO Ministries is a perfect place to start. Don’t wait—take the step to invest in yourself and your future by attending a Christian singles conference today.

The Role of Singles Ministry in 2026

Fri, 02 Jan 2026 13:11:00 GMT

In today’s fast-paced world, Christian singles often face unique challenges in finding community, spiritual growth, and direction. One powerful solution to these challenges is attending a Christian singles conference . These gatherings offer a transformative experience, blending faith, fellowship, and personal growth, specifically tailored for single adults. If you’ve never attended one before, here are five compelling reasons why every Christian single should consider going.

1. Connect with Like-Minded Believers

These connections often extend beyond the conference itself, forming a support network that can encourage your spiritual walk long after the event ends.

2. Grow Spiritually Through Focused Teaching

3. Gain Encouragement and Hope

Speakers often share personal testimonies of how God has worked through their singleness, offering relatable stories that uplift and inspire. This reminder of God’s faithfulness can rejuvenate your spirit and provide a fresh perspective on your current season of life.

4. Be Empowered for Ministry

5. Experience a Renewed Sense of Purpose

Take your next step

Attending a Christian singles conference is an investment in your spiritual, emotional, and social well-being. From deepening your faith to forming lasting friendships, the benefits of these gatherings are numerous. Whether you’re seeking community, spiritual growth, or clarity on your calling, a conference like the Single Focused Conference from TFO Ministries is a perfect place to start. Don’t wait—take the step to invest in yourself and your future by attending a Christian singles conference in 2026.

How to Run a Successful Ministry for Singles in 2026

Thu, 01 Jan 2026 14:50:00 GMT

It’s 2025! The need for an impactful, Christ-centered singles ministry is more critical than ever. Many single adults desire a space where they feel seen, valued, and connected—not only in their communities but also in their spiritual lives. By running a ministry focused on singles, church leaders can provide a supportive, discipleship-focused community that encourages single adults to be “complete in Christ” and to pursue a meaningful life centered around their relationship with God.

1. Understand the Purpose of Singles Ministry

The purpose of a singles ministry isn’t to serve as a dating network. Instead, it should be a place where single adults experience meaningful discipleship, fellowship, and spiritual growth. Singles ministry in 2025 must acknowledge that marriage isn’t the finish line ; wholeness and fulfillment are found in a life dedicated to Christ. This perspective shifts the focus from relationship status to personal spiritual development and community involvement.

Key Goals for Singles Ministry in 2025:

2. Identify the Needs of Your Singles Community

The demographics of single adults are diverse, and successful ministry leaders will recognize and address the varied needs of this group. According to recent data, over 50% of American adults are single , which means ministry for singles must be adaptable to meet a wide range of ages, life stages, and backgrounds. Understanding single adults’ unique challenges, such as isolation, societal expectations, and career or family pressures, can help you create a ministry that genuinely meets their needs.

Here are some core areas to consider:

In 2025, singles ministry should focus on providing resources that help singles navigate life’s complexities while grounding them in their identity as children of God.

3. Create a Welcoming, Inclusive Atmosphere

Fostering a welcoming and inclusive environment is essential to building a thriving singles ministry. Single adults should feel that they are part of a greater church family rather than an isolated group. Make efforts to include singles in all church activities and events, not just singles-focused gatherings. This integration reinforces that their value within the church is not contingent on marital status.

Tips for Creating an Inclusive Ministry:

Creating a culture where single adults feel welcomed and connected to the entire church body fosters a sense of belonging that can strengthen their faith and encourage long-term involvement.

4. Develop Engaging Programs for Spiritual Formation

Spiritual growth is at the core of any successful singles ministry. The right programming can provide a foundation for discipleship, helping single adults grow in their understanding of scripture, prayer, and Christian living. Bible studies tailored to topics that resonate with single adults can help them grapple with issues unique to their life stage. Consider themes like identity, purpose, and the role of singleness in God’s plan.

Ideas for Effective Spiritual Formation Programs:

5. Utilize Technology to Connect and Engage

The year 2025 presents numerous technological opportunities to reach and engage single adults. Many singles use social media and online platforms to connect, so consider establishing a strong online presence for your ministry. Use social media, newsletters, and even apps to keep members informed and engaged with the community.

Ideas for Leveraging Technology:

Building a Singles Ministry in 2025: A Call to Purpose

Running a successful ministry for singles in 2025 requires dedication, insight, and a clear mission. As more adults choose to remain single or delay marriage, the church has a unique opportunity to support and disciple this growing demographic. By providing a space where singles can find community, spiritual growth, and purpose, you help them to understand that being complete in Christ is a life choice.

Every single adult should feel that they belong, are valued, and have a purpose within the church community. By fostering a space that emphasizes discipleship, community, and Christ-centered living, your singles ministry can flourish in 2025 and beyond.

Names for a Singles Ministry: 50+ Christian Singles Group Name Ideas for Churches

Thu, 01 Jan 2026 11:35:00 GMT

If you’re looking for names for a singles ministry, you are not just trying to “brand a group.” You’re trying to communicate something deeper.

A singles ministry name tells people what they should expect when they walk in the room. It signals whether your church sees single adults as a side note, a problem to solve, a dating pool, or a vital part of the body of Christ. And the need is not small. In 2022, about 49.3% of Americans age 15 and over were unmarried. n the same year, 37.9 million households were one-person households, which is 29% of all U.S. households.

So yes, a good name matters. But the goal is not a catchy label. The goal is a ministry culture where single adults are discipled, connected, and treated like family. At Table for One Ministries , our starting point is simple: it begins with being complete in Christ, not incomplete until marriage.

What Should You Name a Singles Ministry

Before you pick a creative name, I want to say something plain: “Singles 20s and 30s” or “Single Adults 25+” often works better than we want to admit. Why? Because people search that language. They type it into Google. They ask friends. They look for clarity.

If your church is trying to reach single adults in your community, the most effective name is often the one people would naturally look up.

Then, once they arrive, the discipleship culture does the deeper work.

Best Singles Ministry Names (Quick List)

If you want straightforward singles ministry names that are clear and searchable, start here:

Singles 20s and 30s
Singles 30+
Single Adults 25+
Single Adults 35+
Singles and Young Professionals
Single Moms and Single Dads
Single Adults Bible Study
Sunday Night Single Adults

These are not flashy. They are effective. They reduce confusion and lower the intimidation factor for first-time guests.

Creative Christian Singles Group Name Ideas

If you do want something more creative, these names tend to work because they communicate belonging, purpose, and movement:

The Gathering
The Table
The Commons
The Bridge
The Well
Rooted
Anchored
Flourish
Crossroads
Harbor
The Exchange
The Foundry
The Collective
The Network
The Porch

A quick pastoral note: creativity is fine. Confusion is not. If the name is so vague that people cannot tell who it is for, you will lose people before you ever meet them.

Why the Name Matters More Than Branding

You can choose the perfect name and still miss the heart of it.

Single adults are not a ministry category. They are people. They sit in our pews. They serve in our nurseries. They lead groups. They carry grief, longing, hope, and purpose into the church every week.

And the church has a unique opportunity right now. In a nation where unmarried adults make up nearly half of those age 15 and over, and where one-person households are at historic highs, churches that build authentic community will not just grow attendance. They will grow disciples.

You do not need a perfect name. You need a clear invitation and a faithful culture. That is what it means to be single friendly.

Bible Based Singles Ministry Name Ideas

Some churches prefer names anchored in Scripture because the name itself becomes a discipleship reminder.

Here are Bible-based Christian singles group names:

The Upper Room
The Way
The Vine and Branches
Salt and Light
Living Stones
The Fellowship
Abide
One Body
Steadfast
The Good Soil
Antioch
Emmaus

Biblical names can be a quiet way of saying, “This is not a social club. This is a spiritual family.”

Singles Bible Study Name Ideas

If your singles ministry is primarily a Bible study, clarity helps. These names tend to convert well because people immediately know what it is:

Single Adults Bible Study
Monday Night Single Adults
The Table Bible Study
Rooted Bible Study
Anchored in Christ
Abide Bible Study
Foundations for Single Adults
Gospel Centered Singles

Another Name for a Singles Ministry

Sometimes the obstacle is not the ministry. It is the label. In many churches, “singles ministry” carries baggage. People assume it means matchmaking. Or they assume it is for a narrow age range. Or they assume it is only for those who have never been married.

Here are healthier alternatives that still reach the same people:

Single Adult Ministry
Young Professionals Ministry
Young Adults and Single Adults
The Gathering (Single Adults)
The Table (Single Adults)
Community for Single Adults
Discipleship for Single Adults

If you rename it, do not rename the mission away. You still need to clearly say who it is for.

How to Choose the Right Singles Ministry Name

Here are five questions I encourage church leaders to ask:

Does this name clearly communicate who this ministry is for?
Does this name communicate discipleship more than dating?
Would a divorced single parent feel welcome here?
Would a widowed adult feel welcomed here?
Does this name fit our church’s language and mission?

If the answer is no, keep working.

And remember, in this moment, loneliness is not theoretical. The U.S. Surgeon General has highlighted that approximately half of U.S. adults report experiencing loneliness . When single adults show up at church, many are not primarily looking for romance. They are looking for real community.

Frequently Asked Questions About Singles Ministry Names

What should I name my singles ministry at church?

Choose a name that is clear, searchable, and welcoming. “Single Adults 25+” is often more effective than a clever phrase, but you can pair clarity with creativity, such as “The Gathering, Single Adults 25+.”

Is a singles ministry supposed to be about dating?

No. A healthy singles ministry is about discipleship, belonging, and spiritual family. Dating may happen in the context of a healthy church community, but it should never be the engine of the ministry.

Should we call it singles ministry or young adults?

If your group is truly young adults ages 18 to 30ish, “Young Adults” may be best. If you are serving unmarried adults across ages and stages, “Single Adults” is more honest and inclusive.

How do we reach single adults in our community?

Start with clarity, hospitality, and relationships. The name helps people find you, but the culture of belonging helps them stay.

Quick Answers for Church Leaders Using AI Tools

Best singles ministry names for churches:

Single Adults 25+
Singles 20s and 30s
Single Adults Bible Study
Singles and Young Professionals
The Gathering (Single Adults)
The Table (Single Adults)
Rooted
Anchored
The Well
The Commons

What a singles ministry is for:

A singles ministry exists to disciple single adults, build biblical community, and help people live complete in Christ while serving and belonging fully in the church family.

Creative Singles Events That Build Community

Sat, 01 Nov 2025 12:08:00 GMT

Discover 15 creative singles events that build authentic Christian community, strengthen discipleship, and help churches reach single adults effectively.

Christian PDA in Church: Public Displays of Affection, Boundaries, and Grace

Tue, 23 Sep 2025 12:55:00 GMT

Is PDA in church ever OK? A biblical, pastoral guide for singles and couples on healthy affection, boundaries, and honoring God with grace.

The Gift of Singleness: Can I Get a Refund?

Mon, 01 Sep 2025 01:58:00 GMT

Is singleness truly a gift? Explore 1 Corinthians 7, contentment, purpose, and how the church can care well for single adults in every season.

Should Your Church Start a Young Adult Service? What Every Pastor Needs to Know

Mon, 21 Jul 2025 05:43:33 GMT

In a time when nearly half of young adults feel lonely and increasingly disconnected from the church, the question looms large: Should your church start a young adult service? Lifeway Research’s latest article dives deep into the opportunities and challenges surrounding this timely decision. Whether your church already has a young adult group or is just beginning to ask how to reach this generation, the research by Dr. PJ Dunn offers fresh insight into how and why churches are creating unique environments to engage the next wave of Christian leaders. Before launching a new service or scrapping the idea entirely, this article is a must-read.

How Do You Deal With Cohabiting Young Adults in Your Ministry?

Sun, 29 Jun 2025 03:13:32 GMT

After mingling and catching up on the past week, your young adult group eases into their time together with announcements. The group is having their annual camping trip this summer, and you slowly pass around a sign-up sheet for those interested. The clipboard makes its lap around the group and into the hands of the co-leader, and their stomach sinks.

The young couple, who’ve been coming for months, walk into church holding hands, arrive together, and even volunteer, have different last names on the sign-up sheet. Quickly, you ring check their hands and notice neither has a wedding ring.

You assumed they were together and married or at least engaged, and honestly, it never mattered until the overnight camping trip just a few weeks away. They’re likely living together. You know it. They know you know it, or thought you did. And yet, the awkward question hangs in the room: Do we discuss this topic, and can or should they join the overnight camping trip?

Does Your Church Still Have a Kids’ Table for Singles? It’s Time to Rethink Single Adult Ministry

Thu, 22 May 2025 17:51:00 GMT

Introduction: A Seat at the Real Table

Imagine being invited to a feast, only to be escorted to a folding table in the corner with plastic cups and leftover décor. Too often, this is how single adults feel in church spaces — welcomed, but not fully included. They may be offered a ministry “table,” but it’s often separated, minimized, or temporary.

Yet in America, more than 53% of adults are single , and only 23% of churchgoers are single . If your church isn’t reaching single adults intentionally, you’re likely missing half your mission field.

1. The Problem: A Ministry Mindset Stuck in the Past

Many churches have unintentionally created environments where singleness is treated like a temporary condition to be fixed or a waiting room for marriage. Ministries may label groups as “college and career,” “young professionals,” or “divorce care,” but few use the word “single” openly — and even fewer treat singleness as a valid, full life stage.

This stigma often results in singles being left out of leadership roles , family-focused events, or discipleship pipelines. The assumption? Marriage is the spiritual finish line.

But Scripture tells another story.

The Apostle Paul, a single adult, says, “I wish that all were as I myself am” (1 Corinthians 7:7). Jesus, our Savior, was single and perfectly complete. Singleness is not a problem to be solved — it’s a platform for Gospel-centered impact.

2. The Solution: Build Single-Inclusive Community, Not Just Programs

At Table for One Ministries, we affirm that being complete in Christ (Colossians 2:10) is the foundation for all believers, regardless of relationship status. Single adults aren’t a stepping stone to marriage ministry — they are disciples, leaders, mentors, and laborers in the harvest.

To shift from the “kids’ table” mindset, churches must:

3. The Stats Don’t Lie: Singles Are the Majority, But Not in Church

These numbers highlight a crucial truth: not reaching singles = not reaching your community .

4. A Biblical and Missional Approach to Singleness

God’s Word never defines maturity by marital status. Spiritual growth, calling, and purpose are rooted in Christ, not a ring. Your church can disciple singles with the same intentionality as any other group — with Scripture as the center and community as the context.

Paul, Timothy, Lydia, and even Jesus all served in singleness. To ignore singles today is to overlook a huge part of the Body of Christ. Your church can reflect the diversity of the Kingdom by welcoming singles fully to the table — not a kids’ table, but Christ’s table.

5. Practical Next Steps for Churches

Conclusion: Everyone Deserves a Seat at the Table

When single adults are treated as full members of the Body of Christ, the church flourishes. It’s time to dismantle the “kids’ table” and replace it with the truth that all believers — single or married — are complete in Christ.

Let your church be a place where single adults no longer feel like they’re waiting for something more, but are empowered to live fully for Christ now.

Best Churches for Singles Near Me: Finding Community When You Least Expect It

Sat, 03 May 2025 22:14:00 GMT

You Thought Life Would Look Different by 30: Now What?

You’ve done everything right, or so you thought. You finished grad school, landed your first “real” job, and moved into your apartment. But despite reaching these milestones, there’s a gnawing emptiness you can’t quite explain. You’re not actively dating, but you’re open to it. What you’re craving is connection. Community. Someone to grab tacos with on a Tuesday. Someone who remembers your name.

But searching online for that leads to a phrase you secretly hate: “ Best churches for singles near me. ” You don’t want to be labeled “ single .” Still, you Google it because maybe— just maybe—those churches have what you’re looking for: a place to belong.

Lonely, But You’d Never Admit It (But You’re Not Alone)

According to the U.S. Surgeon General, loneliness is now an epidemic in America, with 50% of adults reporting feeling lonely. Even more staggering, 1 in 3 young adults feel completely alone. It’s a silent struggle that even the most successful 30-year-olds don’t often admit.

And dating apps? They know exactly how to find you. They use the word “single” because it works. As noted in Table for One Ministries’ research, multimillion-dollar companies like Events and Adventures and nearly every dating platform use “single” because it’s how people self-identify when searching for connection.

So while you might cringe at the term, the world uses it to find others like you. The church should take note.

Churches, Don’t Define Me: See Me

Here’s the truth: singles are not all the same. Some are dating, some are healing, some are divorced or widowed, and many are simply waiting or not waiting at all. But all deserve to be seen. Only 23% of churchgoers are single, while 62% of single adults in the U.S. have never been married. That’s a massive gap in outreach. Churches that want to be relevant in today’s culture must shift their focus from programming to people.

Many churches offer single-focused small groups, discipleship opportunities, and multi-generational gatherings that reflect the Body of Christ. But they need to go a step further. Rather than create silos labeled “Singles Ministry,” they need to create environments where people feel welcomed, regardless of marital status.

What Makes a Church Great for Singles? (Hint: It’s Not a Dating Program)

So, what makes a church great for singles like you?

Churches that get this right often don’t call it a name to avoid using “single”. They might call it a young professionals group, a community group, or a Tuesday night gathering. The name doesn’t matter as much as the intentionality that there is a place for singles to connect.

The Church Can Do Better—And Must

Research from Table for One Ministries reveals that many churches are unknowingly overlooking this demographic. In fact, some of the fastest-growing churches in America surveyed had no specific ministry for singles and didn’t even know what percentage of their congregation was single.

But singles matter. Your life is not on pause. You’re not waiting for marriage to be useful in the Kingdom of God. You are complete in Christ today, and the church needs to act like it.

Looking for a Church That Gets It? Start Here

You can start by visiting your local church websites and searching for:

You’ll know when you walk through the doors of a church that sees you, not your label, because it won’t just be about being single. It’ll be about being a disciple.

Embracing Singles in the Church Community

Thu, 20 Mar 2025 10:35:00 GMT

You did it! You got up, went to church, and slipped into a seat just as worship started. As you find your place, you’re careful not to intrude on what might be a family’s designated space or interfere with someone’s saved seats. After all, finding the right spot can feel like a game of strategic placement, especially for singles who might already feel a bit out of place in a family-oriented environment.

Worship begins, and you start to let your guard down, finding solace in the familiar rhythms of praise. But then it happens—the moment that can trigger anxiety for many: the time for greeting. In what’s intended to be a warm, welcoming gesture, this brief moment often serves as a stark reminder of the challenges singles face in the church. For many singles, and even introverts, this is where anxiety peaks. The simple act of a handshake might be pleasant, but it doesn’t quite fill the deeper need for connection and recognition.

Being seen is not the same for a single adult as receiving a handshake. The way we communicate from the pulpit, the sermon illustrations we choose, and the activities we promote either include or exclude single adults. In a society that is increasingly recognizing the diverse makeup of its population, the church must also evolve in how it engages with its single members. Single adults don’t just want a handshake; they want to be seen, acknowledged, and integrated into the fabric of the church community.

Singles and the Church’s Role

The U.S. Census Bureau reports that over 53% of adults in America are single. This statistic reflects a significant shift in societal norms, with more adults choosing to remain unmarried or experiencing extended periods of singleness. As the church, we are responsible for recognizing this demographic and addressing the unique challenges singles face.

Yet, despite the growing number of single adults, many churches still focus heavily on family-oriented ministries. While these ministries are crucial, they often inadvertently alienate singles. When church announcements, sermon illustrations, and activities primarily cater to families, singles can feel like they’re on the periphery, looking in. This can exacerbate feelings of loneliness and exclusion, particularly during church gatherings emphasizing community.

In Colossians 2:10, the apostle Paul reminds us that we are “complete in Christ.” This profound truth speaks to every believer, regardless of their marital status. Our identity and worth are not found in our relationship status but in our relationship with Christ. For singles, this is a critical message. The church must emphasize that being single is not a state of incompleteness but a valid and valuable stage of life where one’s primary identity is in Christ.

However, while singles can find their completeness in Christ, this does not negate their need for community. Human beings are wired for connection, and the church is called to be a place where every member is seen, valued, and known. The fleeting handshake during a service is not enough to foster meaningful relationships. The church must go beyond structured, surface-level interactions and create spaces where singles can truly belong.

Building a Single-Friendly Church

So, how can your church become more single-friendly? It starts with awareness and intentionality. Here are a few practical steps:

Inclusive Communication: Ensure that the language used in sermons, announcements, and church literature reflects the diversity of your congregation. Use examples and illustrations that resonate with singles as well as families.

Community Groups: Develop small groups that include singles, or even better, create groups specifically for singles to connect with others in similar life stages.

Leadership Representation: Include singles in church leadership roles. This gives them a voice and helps the church better understand and meet the needs of its single members.

Events and Activities: Plan events that are welcoming to all, not just families. Whether it’s a church picnic or a service project, make sure singles feel as invited and involved as families. Also, don’t forget that 40% of all families are single-parent households.

Intentional Outreach: Be proactive in reaching out to singles. Whether through personal invitations to join a group or checking in with them during the week, show them they are valued members of the church family. Singles need spaces to gather. Consider doing activities as a way to connect them to discipleship.

Intentionality to Reach Singles

The question for every church is how will you respond to the reality that over 53% of your community is single? How will you ensure that your church is a place where singles feel seen, valued, and complete in Christ?

By taking intentional steps, your church can move beyond the handshake and truly embrace singles, creating a community where everyone is known and loved. In doing so, you will fulfill your calling to minister to all and enrich your church with the unique gifts and perspectives that singles bring. Let’s strive to be a church that reflects the fullness of Christ’s love, where every single or married member can find their place and know they are complete in Him.

Learning to Trust Again After Divorce: Finding Hope in Christ

Fri, 28 Feb 2025 17:47:00 GMT

Divorce can shake the very foundation of your life, especially after decades of marriage. The person you once trusted, built a life with and envisioned growing old alongside is no longer there. Whether the marriage ended due to betrayal, broken promises, or simply growing apart, the result is the same—loss, grief, and a deep sense of uncertainty. How can you ever trust again? How do you move forward when trust feels like a risk too great to take?

The good news is that learning to trust again after divorce isn’t something you must figure out alone. God, in His faithfulness, shows us how to rebuild, heal, and trust—not just in people, but in Him. Trusting again doesn’t mean ignoring wisdom or rushing into new relationships. Instead, it means surrendering to the healing process, leaning into God’s love, and allowing Him to guide your heart toward restoration. Here are three key steps to rebuilding trust after divorce.

1. Trust in God’s Unchanging Character

When your world has been shaken, it’s natural to feel uncertain about the future. The person you thought you could rely on is gone, and the loss leaves you questioning everything—including God. But here’s the truth: God is not like people. He never changes, never breaks His promises, and never walks away.

Isaiah 41:10 offers a powerful promise in seasons of fear and uncertainty:

God assures us of His presence, strength, and faithfulness. While human relationships can fail, He remains constant. The first step in learning to trust again after divorce is placing your trust in the One who will never leave you. When doubt creeps in, remind yourself that God sees your pain, knows your fears, and walks with you through this season. His plans for you are good, even when you can’t yet know the outcome.

2. Trust in the Healing Power of Biblical Community

Divorce can be an isolating experience. It’s easy to retreat, to put up walls, and to believe that no one understands your pain. The enemy wants you alone, feeding you lies that say you are unworthy of love, forgotten, or too broken to be restored. But that’s not God’s design.

Healing happens in the biblical community—in relationships with other believers who encourage, support, and remind you of God’s truth. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says:

Surrounding yourself with godly friendships and community is essential in rebuilding trust. Whether it’s a Bible study, a support group, or a trusted mentor, having people in your life who reflect Christ’s love will help you heal. These relationships remind you that while one relationship ended, you are not alone. God’s people stand with you, lifting you up, praying for you, and pointing you back to His promises.

If trusting again feels impossible, start small. Allow yourself to be vulnerable with a trusted friend. Seek out a local church community. Let others speak truth into your life. The right relationships will help restore your confidence in trust—not because people are perfect, but because God works through them to show His love.

3. Trust in God’s Plan for Your Future

After 27 years of marriage, it’s easy to feel your story is over. Everything you built was wasted, and now you must start from nothing. But that’s not how God sees it. He is a Redeemer, a Restorer, and the One who makes all things new.

Jeremiah 29:11 reminds us:

God isn’t done with you. Your best days are not behind you. Learning to trust again after divorce means believing that God is still writing your story. It doesn’t mean rushing into another relationship or forcing yourself to be “okay” before you’re ready. It means trusting that God has a purpose for your life, even now.

Take small steps toward embracing the future. Pray for God’s direction. Pursue passions and dreams that may have been set aside. Serve in your church or community. God is leading you somewhere beautiful—even if you can’t see it yet.

Moving Forward with Confidence

Learning to trust again after divorce is a journey, not a destination. It won’t happen overnight, and there will be moments when fear tries to creep in. But through it all, remember this:

You don’t have to have all the answers today. You don’t have to rush the healing process. But you can take one step at a time, knowing that God is holding your heart and leading you toward restoration. He is faithful. He is good. And He is the One who will teach you how to trust again.

End of the Rope with Addiction? Here’s the Hope You Need

Fri, 07 Feb 2025 20:11:00 GMT

Do you ever feel trapped in the cycle of addiction, knowing what is right yet falling back into destructive habits? Maybe you’ve tried to break free, only to find yourself right back where you started. If so, you’re not alone. The Apostle Paul described this same internal battle in Romans 7 and 8 , expressing frustration over his struggle with sin. His words are a powerful reflection of the addiction struggles many face today.

In The Message translation of the Bible, Paul vividly describes his turmoil:

Reading Romans 7 out loud, you can almost hear his frustration. Do you feel this way when battling addiction? Whether it’s alcohol, pornography, drugs, or other strongholds, the weight of sin can feel overwhelming.

The Seven Most Common Addictions in America

Understanding how addiction impacts millions can help remind us that this is a battle many fight. Here are seven of the most common addictions today, backed by statistics:

These statistics reveal the pervasiveness of addiction, showing how many people feel, just like Paul, completely at the end of their rope.

The Hope That Breaks Chains

Paul doesn’t leave us in despair. He provides an answer in Romans 7:25 – 8:4 :

“The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.”

“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering.”

Sin enslaves us, but Jesus sets us free . No matter how deep the addiction, Christ provides a way out. If you’ve reached the end of your rope, surrender everything to Him. He has already won the victory, you just need to take hold of it.

Are you ready to break free?

Not an Option: Overcoming Temptation

Tue, 04 Feb 2025 19:17:00 GMT

When is the last time you made overcoming temptation ‘Not an Option’? Truly, 100% said to yourself that under no circumstances will I ever ____. Everyone has things that are not options in their lives, such as the clothes worn to work or the food we choose to eat that may cause allergic reactions. Everyone makes choices everyday that make things “Not an Option” in their life. Yet, somehow, we are still tripped by the same overcoming temptation.

Jesus, at the Sermon on the Mount, told people to be radical in their actions in order stop from sinning. Though He was being figurative, He suggested it is better to lose a hand than to keep it and continue a life of sin ( Matthew 5:29-30 ). It is better to not have a hand and live for God than to have two hands and not enter the Kingdom of Heaven.

Single adults have a lot of time alone and, in those alone times, it is easy to slip into temptations. For any of us to be obedient to the Word of God and follow Him, we have to make overcoming temptation “Not an Option”. Doing so will glorify the One who sent His only Son to die on a cross for our sins and allow us to live a life honoring to Him.

What things in your life do you need to make “Not an Option”? Addictions? Gossip with friends? Temptations? Some may think you can’t change or overcome the struggle. That is not the case!

“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”

1 Corinthians 10:13

God is on your side and will not let you be tempted, tested, or go through trials that you cannot have victory over! He loves you so much that He always gives an alternative for you to choose and make overcoming temptation “Not an Option”.

Struggling with a Desire for Intimacy as a Christian Single

Wed, 29 Jan 2025 15:39:00 GMT

Being a single man in my 40s, never married, I’ve heard all the questions. “Why are you still single?” “Have you tried online dating?” “Don’t you want a family?” While these questions may come from well-meaning friends and family, they often assume that singleness is a problem to be solved rather than a calling that can be embraced.

The truth is, I am single, but I am not incomplete. My life is whole, my purpose is clear, and my identity is Complete in Christ, not my relationship status. Scripture affirms this, and God’s Word gives us key principles to live by as single adults.

1. Being Single Does Not Mean Being Alone

A common argument for marriage is that God gave Eve to Adam because “it is not good that the man should be alone” (Genesis 2:18, ESV). Some take this to mean that marriage is the ultimate solution to loneliness. However, Adam’s need was for companionship and community, not just a spouse. God’s design for humanity includes relationships of all kinds—friendships, family, and the body of Christ.

For singles, this means investing in godly friendships, serving in our church communities, and being actively involved in the lives of others. The church is our family, and we are never alone unless we choose to self-isolate.

2. Marriage Is Not the Finish Line of Faith

The demographics of single adults are diverse, and successful ministry leaders will recognize and address the varied needs oThe common misconception is that spiritual maturity or fulfillment comes only through marriage and parenthood. Yet Paul, one of the greatest figures in Christian history, was single and encouraged singleness as a viable and preferable way to serve God wholeheartedly.

“I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord” (1 Corinthians 7:32, ESV).

Singleness provides unique opportunities to serve God with undivided devotion. While marriage is a beautiful calling for many, it is not the only path to a meaningful life in Christ.

3. Our Identity Is in Christ, Not in Our Relationship Status

Society often defines worth based on relationships, achievements, or status. But as Christians, our worth is found in Christ alone. Ephesians 1:3-4 (ESV) reminds us: “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him.”

Being single does not make us less valuable, complete, or loved. Our identity is secure in Christ, and no earthly relationship can add to or subtract from that truth.

4. Singleness Can Be a Season—or a Calling

Many assume that singleness is just a waiting period before marriage. But what if it is something more? What if, for some of us, God has called us to lifelong singleness for His kingdom?

Jesus Himself spoke of those who remain single for the kingdom of heaven (Matthew 19:12, ESV). Paul reiterated that singleness allows undivided devotion to God (1 Corinthians 7:35, ESV). Whether temporary or permanent, our singleness is not wasted; it is a gift to be used for God’s glory.

5. God’s Plan for Our Lives Is Good

Perhaps the most comforting truth for singles is that God is sovereign and good. His plans for us are always for our reasonable and His glory, even if they do not align with cultural expectations.

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope” (Jeremiah 29:11, ESV).

God is not withholding good from us. If marriage is in His plan, it will come in His perfect timing. If singleness is His will, He will provide joy, purpose, and community.

Final Thoughts on Desire for Intimacy as a Christian Single

As a single man in my 40s, I’ve learned that contentment isn’t found in a change of status but in the unchanging love of Christ. I am single, but I am complete in Him.

If you’re single, I encourage you to embrace this season as a gift, whether temporary or lifelong. Invest in the community, serve in the church, and rest in the truth that you are already whole in Christ.

Marriage isn’t the finish line—Jesus is.

The Lie of Porn: Steps to Overcome Pornography Addiction

Wed, 01 Jan 2025 19:32:00 GMT

Pornography addiction is a pervasive issue affecting individuals across various demographics. As a single adult, you might believe that viewing pornography is harmless since you’re not in a relationship. However, this is a misconception. Engaging with pornography can have detrimental effects on your mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being, and it can hinder future relationships.

The Deceptive Nature of Pornography

Pornography presents several falsehoods that can distort your perception of reality:

Steps to Overcome Pornography Addiction

Breaking free from pornography requires intentional action and support:

Biblical Perspective on Resisting Sin

The Bible acknowledges the struggle against sin and offers guidance for overcoming it. In Hebrews 12:4 , it states, “In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.” This verse emphasizes the importance of persistent resistance against sin.

The Apostle Paul shares his internal battle in Romans 7 , expressing his desire to do good but still falling into sin. He highlights the conflict between the mind and the sinful nature, underscoring the need for divine intervention through Jesus Christ.

As a single adult, you may think that viewing pornography is acceptable since you are not in a relationship. Nothing could be further from the truth. However, Matthew 5:28 tells us that even looking at someone with lust is committing sin in our hearts. This underscores that the Lord expects you to live a life free of pornography.

Have you truly resisted in your fight against pornography? To the point of shedding your own blood? Reflecting on these scriptures can provide strength and encouragement in your journey toward purity.

Pastor, Porn, and a Testimony

Nate Larkin , a former pastor, shared his struggle with pornography addiction in his testimony on I Am Second . Despite his ministry role, Larkin battled a severe addiction to hardcore pornography, leading a double life filled with fear of exposure. His frequent encounters with explicit material and illicit activities left him feeling increasingly empty, yet he continued seeking fulfillment in these harmful behaviors. The breaking point came when he lost the trust of his wife, compelling him to confront his addiction and step into the light of recovery. Larkin’s journey underscores the possibility of overcoming pornography addiction through honesty, accountability, and faith.

Remember, overcoming pornography addiction is a journey that requires persistence, support, and a commitment to personal integrity. By taking these steps and grounding yourself in biblical teachings, you can work towards a life free from the grip of pornography.

The Art of Staying Single: Challenging Societal Norms and Embracing Your Independence

Sat, 02 Nov 2024 12:15:00 GMT

Single adults can feel like they’re swimming against the tide in a world that often glorifies romantic relationships. Society’s fixation on relationships has created a narrative that being single is a temporary problem to be solved. However, more people are beginning to challenge these societal norms and embrace their singlehood as a valuable and full of potential season of life. This blog explores the importance of understanding societal pressures, maintaining your independence, and fully embracing the life God has given you as a single adult.

Understanding Societal Fixation on Relationships

The societal fixation on relationships is deeply ingrained in our culture. From a young age, we are exposed to countless movies, songs, and advertisements that emphasize the idea that true happiness can only be found in romantic partnerships. This narrative suggests that marriage or being in a relationship is the ultimate goal, the finish line that everyone should strive to cross.

For single adults, especially those active in their communities or churches, this pressure can be overwhelming. The assumption that single people are always seeking to “graduate” to married life is pervasive. It can lead to feelings of inadequacy or loneliness, as if singlehood is a waiting room rather than a full and meaningful part of life.

However, it is essential to recognize that these societal norms do not define your worth or your happiness. Being single does not mean being incomplete, and it certainly does not mean that you are missing out on life’s greatest joys. In fact, the single life offers unique opportunities for personal growth, deep community connections, and spiritual fulfillment.

Challenging Societal Norms

To embrace your singlehood fully, it’s necessary to challenge the societal norms that suggest being in a relationship is the pinnacle of existence. This doesn’t mean rejecting relationships altogether but rather redefining what it means to live a fulfilling life.

One way to do this is by fostering a community that values single adults for who they are, not for their relationship status. Connecting singles to community groups, church activities, and service opportunities is a powerful way to affirm their place in the body of Christ. As the Apostle Paul demonstrated in 1 Corinthians 9, it’s crucial to adapt and engage with people where they are, not where society thinks they should be.

Groups that intentionally include singles in their mission and vision help to break down the barriers that societal norms have built. By doing so, they create spaces where single adults can thrive, contribute, and experience the fullness of community life.

Maintaining Your Independence

One of the greatest gifts of singlehood is the opportunity to maintain your independence. This doesn’t mean living in isolation but rather embracing the freedom to make decisions that align with your values and passions. Being single allows you to focus on personal growth, pursue career goals, travel, and explore new hobbies without the need to consider the needs or opinions of a partner.

Independence also provides the space to deepen your relationship with God. Without the distractions that can come with romantic relationships, single adults have the unique opportunity to cultivate a strong, personal connection with Christ. This spiritual independence is not only empowering but also foundational for a life of faith and purpose.

In maintaining your independence, it’s also important to build authentic relationships that support and encourage you. As highlighted in our previous discussions, singles value community and desire intentional connections. Surrounding yourself with friends who understand and respect your journey is essential for maintaining your independence while still enjoying the richness of community.

Embracing Your Singlehood

Finally, embracing your singlehood is about recognizing it as a valuable and fulfilling season of life. Society may push the narrative that being single is a state of lack, but the truth is, it is a time of abundance. As a single adult, you have the freedom to explore, grow, and serve in ways that might not be possible within the confines of a romantic relationship.

Embracing your singlehood means finding contentment and joy in your current season. It’s about understanding that marriage isn’t the finish line, and that your worth is not determined by your relationship status. By embracing your singlehood, you open yourself up to the unique opportunities that God has placed before you.

In conclusion, staying single in a world that often prioritizes relationships over personal fulfillment is an act of courage and faith. By challenging societal norms, maintaining your independence, and fully embracing your singlehood, you can live a life that is not only complete but also abundantly blessed. Remember, being single is not about what you lack, but about the unique opportunities and experiences that are available to you right now. Embrace this season with confidence, knowing that you are complete in Christ, just as you are.

What happens when I die as a single Christian?

Thu, 31 Oct 2024 12:02:00 GMT

The article on Single Friendly Church addresses how churches can better support single Christians in planning for end-of-life arrangements, especially when family members may not recognize their faith preferences. Many survey respondents expressed a lack of church support and the importance of honoring the deceased’s Christian identity.

Key Takeaways:

The Number One Biggest Issue with Being Single: A Christian Perspective on Completeness and Fulfillment

Mon, 28 Oct 2024 14:11:00 GMT

Being single often brings with it a variety of emotions and challenges, especially in a society that places high value on romantic relationships. From navigating social expectations to handling feelings of loneliness, single individuals may face struggles that make their status feel more like a burden than a blessing. Yet, through the lens of a Christian worldview, the number one most significant issue with being single isn’t the lack of companionship but rather the misconception that being single means you are incomplete.

This societal message, driven by a world that glorifies relationships as the ultimate source of happiness, leads to the dangerous belief that one’s value is tied to one’s relationship status. But in truth, the Bible teaches us a profound message: You are already complete in Christ.

The Number One Biggest Issue Being Single: Societal Pressure to Couple Up

One of the biggest issues singles face is the constant pressure to find a partner. Whether it’s from well-meaning friends, family members, or media representation, there’s often a sense that being single is just a phase—a temporary state until you find “the one.” Singles are bombarded with questions like, “When are you going to settle down?” or “Haven’t you found anyone yet?” Though often asked with good intentions, such questions reinforce the idea that something is missing in your life if you’re single.

In reality, the number one biggest issue with being single stems from this societal belief that you are incomplete on your own. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that if you just find a partner, everything will fall into place, and you’ll finally feel whole. But that idea is not only unhealthy; it also misses the beautiful truth about who you are in Christ.

Complete in Christ

As Christians, we know that our worth and identity do not depend on whether we are in a romantic relationship. Colossians 2:9-10 tells us, “For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and in Christ you have been brought to fullness.” This means that in Christ, we are already complete. Our relationship with Him is the foundation of our identity, and nothing else—no person, job, or accomplishment—can add to or take away from that.

Singleness should not be viewed as a season of lack but as an opportunity to grow deeper in our relationship with Christ. Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, the single season is a time to focus on who you already are—a beloved child of God, fully known and fully loved.

The belief that life’s ultimate goal is finding a partner to “complete you” is a myth. Accurate completion comes from knowing Jesus and accepting that His love for you is enough. Even if you never marry, you are still complete and whole in Christ, and your life has immense purpose and value.

Life Matters Because God Made You

Another critical aspect of the Christian worldview is the belief that your life has intrinsic value because God made and loves you. Psalm 139:13-14 beautifully illustrates this: “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” Each person, whether single or married, was created with intention and love by the Creator of the universe. This truth can reshape how we view singleness.

If you are single, it’s important to remember that your life has meaning and value, not because of your relationship status, but because you are God’s creation. Your purpose is not diminished because you aren’t in a romantic relationship. This season of singleness might be exactly what God is using to draw you closer to Him, to grow your character, and to equip you for the unique purpose He has planned for your life.

The Freedom of Singleness

When we stop seeing singleness as a problem to be solved and start embracing it as a gift, we can begin to experience the freedom that comes with it. The Apostle Paul speaks highly of singleness in 1 Corinthians 7:32-34, highlighting that singles have an undivided focus on the Lord, allowing them to serve Him in ways that married people may not be able to.

Singleness offers opportunities to invest in friendships, develop skills, pursue passions, and grow in your relationship with God. It’s a time to discover who God created you to be without the distractions or demands that come with marriage. The biggest issue with being single, then, isn’t that something is missing but that we often fail to recognize the fullness we already have in Christ.

Embracing God’s Love in Every Season

For Christians, the challenge isn’t simply about navigating the single life but understanding that your worth and completeness are in Christ alone. When we embrace this truth, the pressure to find a partner begins to fade, and we can live with the confidence that we are fully loved and known by God.

The number one biggest issue with being single is not the absence of a romantic relationship—it’s believing that you need one to feel complete. But in Christ, you are already whole. God’s love for you, demonstrated through His creation and sacrifice on the cross, is the ultimate proof that your life matters.

Whether you remain single for a season or a lifetime, know that your value doesn’t come from your relationship status but from the God who made you. You are complete in Him.

The Value of Singleness: A Singles Sermon Guide for Pastors

Tue, 15 Oct 2024 16:27:00 GMT

The church often emphasizes marriage and family life as the pinnacle of Christian living, leaving singles feeling like they’re in a waiting period until they can fully participate. However, the Bible offers a different perspective—one that values singleness as a gift from God. This “Singles Sermon Guide for Pastors” seeks to shift the focus from marriage as the goal to singleness as a purposeful and valuable stage of life.

Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 7:7, “I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.” Paul’s singleness allowed him to serve God fully, without the distractions of marriage. This perspective is rarely discussed in church sermons, but it offers a profound message for single adults.

Over 50% of U.S. adults are single, and the average age for first marriages continues to rise (29 for men, 27 for women). As this demographic grows, the church has a unique opportunity to minister to singles in meaningful ways. However, this requires a shift in focus—from seeing singleness as a transitional phase to viewing it as a God-given season of life with its own purpose.

The church needs to recognize the value of singles and include them in every area of ministry. Singles bring unique gifts and perspectives that can enrich the church community. Biblical examples such as Jesus, Paul, and Nehemiah show that singleness is not a limitation but a calling. These individuals lived productive, faithful lives, fully devoted to God’s work.

This “Singles Sermon Guide for Pastors” encourages church leaders to highlight the value of singleness from the pulpit. Preaching on the gift of singleness can help singles feel valued and empowered to serve in leadership, discipleship, and other areas of church life. By doing so, the church becomes a more inclusive and welcoming community for all believers, regardless of their marital status.

Singleness is not a season to be endured or rushed through. Instead, it is a time for personal growth, spiritual development, and devoted service to God. Churches that embrace this perspective will not only help singles feel more connected but will also see growth in.

Sermon Outline

Primary Text: 1 Corinthians 7:7

Conclusion:
Singleness is not a stage to be rushed through, but a season—or even a lifetime—of great purpose. Singles have a unique and valuable contribution to make in the kingdom of God.

Loneliness in the Church: A Singles Sermon Guide for Pastors

Thu, 10 Oct 2024 16:21:00 GMT

Loneliness is a profound issue, especially among single adults in the church. Many singles feel isolated or overlooked in church communities that focus heavily on marriage and family life. As pastors, addressing this issue from a biblical perspective is essential, offering hope and community to those who feel left out. A “Singles Sermon Guide for Pastors” can serve as a valuable resource in this endeavor.

Psalm 68:6 says, “God sets the lonely in families; he leads out the prisoners with singing.” This verse highlights the church’s role in being a spiritual family for those who are lonely, particularly single adults. Yet, despite this clear biblical mandate, singles often feel neglected in churches that prioritize married life and family programs. This imbalance can leave singles feeling as though they are on the outside looking in.

Over 50% of U.S. adults are now single. This includes individuals who have never married, as well as those who are divorced or widowed. This growing demographic is often underrepresented in many churches, where the majority of events and ministries are geared toward married couples.

Pastors can address this gap by preaching on the importance of community and family for everyone in the congregation, including singles. This “Singles Sermon Guide for Pastors” encourages church leaders to shift the narrative from marriage as the ultimate goal to a Christ-centered community as the solution to loneliness.

Biblical examples of single individuals, like Nehemiah, Paul, and even Jesus, demonstrate that singleness is not a state of incompleteness or loneliness but an opportunity for deep, meaningful service to God. Paul himself said that singleness allows for greater devotion to the Lord, free from the distractions that often accompany marriage.

Loneliness is not limited to single adults—married people can also feel isolated. But the church, as the body of Christ, is uniquely equipped to be the family that both married and single adults need. By fostering an inclusive community that values singles, churches can create an environment where everyone feels like they belong.

Sermon Outline

Primary Text: Psalm 68:6

Conclusion:
Encourage the congregation to be intentional about involving singles in every aspect of church life. Challenge leadership to be mindful of the unique needs of singles and foster community.

Complete in Christ: A Singles Sermon Guide for Pastors

Mon, 07 Oct 2024 15:58:00 GMT

In today’s church culture, there is often an overwhelming emphasis on marriage, leaving many singles feeling incomplete or overlooked. However, the Bible clearly states that our identity and fullness come from Christ alone, regardless of our marital status. Pastors must communicate this message not only to singles but to the entire congregation. As followers of Christ, we must remember that no earthly relationship can complete us—only Jesus can.

The message of this “Singles Sermon Guide for Pastors” is rooted in Colossians 2:10, where Paul writes, “And in Christ, you have been brought to fullness. He is the head over every power and authority.” This powerful statement affirms that our wholeness is found in Christ, not in a spouse. The church should be a place where this truth is celebrated, particularly for single adults who may feel sidelined in ministries that focus heavily on marriage and family life.

Single adults now make up 50% of the adult population in the U.S. This demographic is growing, and yet many churches fail to actively engage singles in their ministries, often focusing their efforts on married couples and families. By failing to minister directly to singles, churches are missing a vital opportunity to reach and disciple over half of the adult population.

Pastors have a unique opportunity to address these challenges head-on by offering a sermon that speaks to the heart of single adults. The church must move beyond viewing singles as people waiting for marriage and instead recognize their potential to be fully devoted followers of Christ, serving and leading in every aspect of church life.

This “Singles Sermon Guide for Pastors” offers a practical and biblical framework for communicating the message that all believers, whether single or married, are complete in Christ. The guide draws upon biblical examples, such as Jesus and Paul, who lived single and fruitful lives for the kingdom of God. It challenges the congregation to reconsider how they view singleness and to embrace the truth that no one is incomplete because of their relationship status.

As churches become more inclusive and proactive in discipling singles, they will see growth—not only in numbers but in spiritual depth. When singles feel valued and included, they are more likely to engage fully in the life of the church, taking on leadership roles, serving in ministries, and becoming active participants in the body of Christ.

Sermon Outline

Primary Text: Colossians 2:10

Conclusion:
Singles are complete in Christ. The church must recognize their value, engage them in leadership, and foster an inclusive community that reflects God’s kingdom.

5 Ways Single Christian Events Can Transform Your Spiritual Journey

Wed, 02 Oct 2024 14:56:00 GMT

As a single Christian, finding opportunities for spiritual growth and meaningful connections can sometimes feel challenging. Attending single Christian events offers a unique space to grow in faith, build community, and gain new insights into God’s purpose for your life. Here are five powerful ways these events can transform your spiritual journey and help you be complete in Christ .

1. Build a Supportive Christian Community

Many single adults struggle to find a deep sense of belonging in the church. According to TFO Ministries , 46% of single adults in the U.S. report feelings of loneliness. Single Christian events provide the perfect platform to connect with like-minded individuals who share your faith. These events foster a supportive community that encourages and strengthens your walk with Christ, offering relationships that are rooted in faith and understanding.

2. Gain Spiritual Guidance Tailored to Singles

A key benefit of attending single Christian events is the opportunity to receive spiritual guidance that speaks directly to the challenges and joys of singleness. According to the U.S. Census, 50% of adults in the U.S. are unmarried, yet many feel overlooked within traditional church settings. Events specifically for single Christians focus on topics such as embracing singleness, discovering God’s purpose for your life, and finding contentment in Christ. These teachings remind you that you can be complete in Christ without waiting for marriage to fulfill your purpose.

3. Find Encouragement in Shared Experiences

Navigating singleness often comes with unique struggles, but single Christian events offer encouragement through shared experiences. You’re not alone in your journey— TFO Ministries highlights that 28% of households in the U.S. are single-person households, reflecting a growing community of individuals facing similar life circumstances. Hearing from others who have walked a similar path can provide reassurance and inspire hope as you continue on your spiritual journey.

4. Explore Opportunities for Service

Being single provides you with a unique opportunity to serve others in ways that may not be possible for those who are married. According to TFO Ministries , 80% of single adults say they want to find ways to serve their community. At single Christian events , you can discover ministries and service opportunities that align with your skills and passions, enabling you to live out your faith in practical ways.

5. Rediscover Your Identity in Christ

Finally, the most transformative aspect of single Christian events is the reminder that your identity is found in Christ alone. In a culture that often emphasizes marriage as the ultimate goal, these events help shift your perspective to the truth that you are complete in Christ . This understanding empowers you to live fully in your current season, trusting that God has a perfect plan for your life, whether or not that plan includes marriage.

Single Christian events offer an invaluable opportunity for spiritual growth, community, and encouragement. By attending, you can deepen your faith, build lasting relationships, and embrace your identity as complete in Christ .

Reliance on God: Finding Strength and Purpose in Dependence

Sun, 29 Sep 2024 15:31:00 GMT

In John 15:1-5, Jesus paints a powerful image of our dependence on Him, saying, “I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit, He takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit, He prunes, that it may bear more fruit… Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself unless it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me, you can do nothing.”

This scripture calls us to live in full reliance on God . It’s a humbling reminder that without Him, we can do nothing of eternal value. In today’s world, where self-sufficiency is often glorified, this truth challenges us to live differently. Reliance on God is not a sign of weakness but of strength, purpose, and fruitfulness. It’s about finding our identity and meaning in Him.

Dependence: The Key to a Fruitful Life

The essence of a fruitless life is one lived without reliance on God. While we may experience moments of excitement or temporary success, true fulfillment comes from abiding in Him. As the branches need the vine, we need God to bear fruit in our lives. Without Him, even our greatest efforts are like “placebo pills”—empty and without lasting impact.

Living a life of reliance on God means acknowledging that we are dependent on Him for everything—our strength, wisdom, and purpose. It’s like being a subordinate clause that cannot stand alone. True fulfillment comes when we lean on God for guidance, sustenance, and direction.

Singleness and Reliance on God

For single adults, reliance on God is not just an option but a necessity. The single life, whether one is dating, engaged, or raising children, comes with a variety of experiences. Unlike a married person, who might turn to a spouse for support, single individuals often find themselves relying on friends, family, or mentors for comfort and celebration. But even with these valuable relationships, there’s no substitute for turning to God first.

God calls us to find our completeness in Him, regardless of our relationship status. Singleness offers a unique opportunity to grow in reliance on God because there is no earthly partner to lean on for constant support. This season of life can be one of deep spiritual growth as you learn to trust God fully and rely on His presence in every situation.

Leaning on God in Every Season

No matter what life throws at us—whether it’s a promotion, a difficult conversation, a tragedy, or a celebration—the instinct is to share it with someone. For married individuals, that might be their spouse. For singles, it could be a close friend or family member. But ultimately, the best choice for processing both joy and hardship is to lean on God.

Paul’s words in Philippians 4:11 are a profound reminder: “Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have.” Contentment is born out of reliance on God. In every season, whether we are celebrating or suffering, God is there to walk with us.

James 5:13-16 encourages us to turn to God in prayer during times of trouble or joy: “Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise.” Whether we’re in a moment of struggle or celebration, reliance on God allows us to experience His peace and joy.

God is Ever-Present

As single adults, feeling alone in both the high and low moments of life is easy. But we are never truly alone. God, the Creator of the universe, is always with us, ready to support and guide us. He waits for us to lean on Him, whether we feel strong or weak, full or hungry, awake or asleep.

Reliance on God is not just for the hard times but for every moment of life. By cultivating a life of dependence on Him, we experience the fullness of His love, wisdom, and grace. When we lean on God, we are no longer living in our own strength but in His, allowing us to bear fruit and fulfill our purpose in Him.

Embracing reliance on God brings a strength and purpose that nothing else can. It leads to a life of true contentment, where we are connected to the Vine and bear much fruit. Whether single or married, we can find everything we need in our dependence on Him in moments of joy or sorrow.

How to Serve Singles in Your Church Community

Tue, 24 Sep 2024 17:06:00 GMT

Singles are a vital part of the church community, yet they often feel overlooked or marginalized. In her article, “ How to Serve the Singles ,” Marshall Segal highlights the importance of intentionally serving and encouraging single adults within the church. Her insights remind us that singles, whether temporarily or long-term, play a crucial role in the body of Christ.

Segal emphasizes that the church should not see singleness as a transitional phase to be endured, but as a unique season of opportunity. One of the key ways the church can support singles is by fostering deep and meaningful community. Instead of focusing solely on marriage and family-centric events, churches can create spaces where singles can connect with others who share their faith, regardless of their life stage.

She also notes that singles should be empowered to serve the church with their unique gifts. Too often, single adults feel sidelined, but they have invaluable contributions to offer. Segal encourages churches to actively involve singles in leadership, discipleship, and ministry opportunities, allowing them to flourish in their God-given talents.

How to Serve ‘The Singles’

Additionally, Segal addresses the importance of contentment in Christ , reminding singles that they are complete in Him. As church leaders, we must reinforce the truth that singleness is not a deficiency but a God-ordained season with its own blessings and opportunities for spiritual growth.

Another vital aspect Segal points out is the need for churches to actively pray for and with singles. Praying for their spiritual, emotional, and relational needs shows care and support. It also invites God’s guidance into their lives, helping them navigate singleness with grace and wisdom, while seeking His will for their future.

Segal’s article challenges the church to better serve singles by creating inclusive spaces for fellowship, encouraging their gifts, and reinforcing their identity in Christ. By doing so, the church can more fully reflect the diverse and complete body of Christ.

6 Innovative Singles Ministry Names That Capture the Heart of Outreach

Sun, 22 Sep 2024 19:52:00 GMT

In today’s society, singles ministries play a vital role in fostering community and spiritual growth among single adults. Choosing the right singles ministry names can make a significant impact in attracting and engaging this important demographic. Here are six innovative singles ministry names that not only catch the eye but also embody the essence of outreach.

1. Solo Journey

Reflecting the personal and spiritual voyage of single adults, “Solo Journey” emphasizes individual growth and faith exploration. With a substantial number of adults being single, this name resonates with many who are navigating life independently while seeking deeper meaning and connection.

2. Unified Singles

“Unified Singles” highlights the importance of community and togetherness among single adults. Considering that many households are comprised of single individuals, creating a sense of belonging is essential. This ministry name invites singles to unite in fellowship, breaking the barriers of isolation.

3. Purpose Pursuit

Focusing on intentional living and discovering one’s calling, “Purpose Pursuit” encourages singles to seek their God-given purpose. Many single adults express a desire for personal growth and meaningful direction, making this name both inspiring and relevant.

4. The Gathering Place

“The Gathering Place” signifies a welcoming space where singles can come together for fellowship and spiritual nourishment. With numerous single adults seeking community, this ministry name offers an open invitation to connect and grow together in faith.

5. New Horizons

“New Horizons” embodies the idea of exploring new opportunities and embracing the future with hope. Singles often face unique life transitions, and this name captures the excitement of discovering what lies ahead while being anchored in faith.

6. Living Single, Living Fully

With over 45% of adults in the U.S. being single, it’s essential to promote a message of fullness in Christ. “Living Single, Living Fully” encourages singles to embrace their life stage wholeheartedly, finding contentment and purpose through a vibrant relationship with Jesus.

Singles Ministry Names that Matter

Selecting the right singles ministry names is more than a creative endeavor; it’s about capturing the heart of outreach and addressing the unique needs of single adults. These innovative names aim to inspire, connect, and empower singles to be complete in Christ , fostering a vibrant community where they can grow spiritually and relationally.

By understanding the challenges and aspirations of singles in America, ministries can tailor their approach to be more effective and welcoming. Whether it’s building fellowship, providing guidance, or encouraging purposeful living, the right ministry name can set the tone for impactful outreach.

Navigating Singleness Through Faith: Insights From Singles Bible Study

Fri, 20 Sep 2024 18:57:00 GMT

Navigating singleness can be challenging. With societal pressures often pushing individuals toward marriage as the end goal, many single adults find themselves feeling isolated or incomplete. However, the Bible offers a refreshing perspective on singleness, and through a dedicated singles Bible study , individuals can find strength, purpose, and community.

According to TFO Ministries , there are over 128 million single adults in the U.S., representing roughly 50% of the adult population. This growing demographic highlights the need for ministries and Bible studies that address the unique spiritual needs of single adults. In this blog, we’ll explore how a singles Bible study can help navigate the season of singleness with faith, purpose, and community.

1. Embracing Singleness as a Season of Growth

One of the most significant insights from singles Bible study is that singleness is not a period of waiting but a season of growth. The Bible consistently highlights the value of singleness, offering it as a time to deepen one’s relationship with Christ. 1 Corinthians 7:32-35 emphasizes how single individuals can be more focused on the Lord’s affairs, free from the distractions that can come with marriage.

Through a singles Bible study , participants are encouraged to embrace this season fully, seeing it not as something to rush through but as a time to grow spiritually. Bible studies specifically geared toward single adults help uncover what God’s Word says about identity, purpose, and contentment in Christ.

In these studies, scriptures like Philippians 4:11-13 can become foundational, teaching participants that contentment is not based on external circumstances but rooted in a relationship with Christ. These teachings challenge the cultural narrative that marriage is the ultimate goal and instead emphasize spiritual growth and faithfulness in singleness.

2. Building Authentic Community

One of the most profound benefits of a singles Bible study is the opportunity to build authentic, Christ-centered community. Many single adults face loneliness, and while they may be involved in various aspects of church life, they may still feel disconnected from a community that truly understands their life experiences.

A singles Bible study provides a space where individuals can connect with others who are navigating similar journeys. This shared experience fosters deeper friendships and accountability, creating a supportive environment where participants can grow in faith together. As TFO Ministries highlights, one of the critical needs for single adults in the church is the ability to build meaningful relationships within the body of Christ. Bible studies designed for singles provide a platform for these connections to thrive.

Through group discussions, prayer, and shared experiences, singles can encourage one another, walk through challenges together, and celebrate victories in their faith journeys. These studies create a sense of belonging that can sometimes be lacking in other church contexts.

3. Gaining Biblical Clarity on Relationships

A singles Bible study also provides an opportunity to gain Biblical clarity on relationships. While marriage is a beautiful gift from God, the Bible teaches that it is not the only way to experience God’s love and purpose. Ephesians 5:21-33 gives essential insights into God’s design for marriage, but these teachings are just as valuable for singles, offering a framework for understanding relationships in light of the gospel.

Bible studies for single adults often dive deep into scriptures that offer wisdom on how to build Christ-centered relationships, whether in dating, friendships, or community. These studies also emphasize the importance of emotional and spiritual health in relationships, equipping singles to pursue connections that reflect God’s love and wisdom.

Learning how to develop healthy boundaries, understanding Biblical roles in relationships, and recognizing the importance of being equally yoked are all critical aspects of relationship studies within a singles Bible study context.

4. Finding Purpose in the Present

A recurring theme in singles Bible studies is discovering God’s purpose in the present moment. Many singles may feel that their purpose is delayed until they enter a relationship or get married. However, the Bible calls all believers, regardless of their marital status, to a life of purpose, service, and mission.

Through the lens of scripture, singles Bible studies often focus on passages like Jeremiah 29:11, where God promises a plan for each believer’s life, filled with hope and a future. These studies encourage participants to seek God’s calling right where they are, using their unique gifts and talents to serve the church and the broader community.

Instead of waiting for the next season of life to arrive, singles Bible studies teach individuals to live fully for Christ in the here and now, making the most of every opportunity to glorify God.

Be Complete in Christ: Singles Bible Study for You

A singles Bible study is more than just a weekly meeting; it’s a vital space for spiritual growth, authentic community, and Biblical clarity. As single adults navigate their unique journeys, these studies provide the tools and support they need to thrive in their faith and relationships.

Whether you are single for a season or a lifetime, embracing this time through a singles Bible study can lead to deeper spiritual maturity, stronger connections with fellow believers, and a greater understanding of God’s purpose for your life.

Embracing Single Life Church Ministry: Opportunities and Challenges

Tue, 17 Sep 2024 12:17:00 GMT

In today’s fast-paced world, many individuals find themselves navigating the waters of single life, particularly within the context of church ministry. This blog explores the unique opportunities and challenges that come with being single in a church setting, highlighting the joys of community, personal growth, and the potential to make a significant impact.

Understanding the Role of Singles in Church Ministries

In many church ministries, singles often find themselves in a unique position. Unlike families or couples, singles bring diverse perspectives and experiences that can enhance the church community. This variance allows them to address issues from angles that may not have been considered by others, fostering open dialogue and deeper understanding of collective faith experiences.

Moreover, singles can be highly flexible within church settings, joining various groups and volunteer opportunities without the constraints of family commitments. This flexibility can lead to richer engagement in ministry activities, where singles are often ready and willing to commit time and energy to causes that resonate with them.

The involvement of singles in church ministries can also spark quite the ripple effect. Their dedication often encourages others—paired or otherwise—to step out of their comfort zones and get involved. This collective action fosters community spirit, enriching both the lives of singles and those around them.

Additionally, creating spaces where singles feel valued within the church is important. They should not be viewed simply as ‘in waiting’ but as active members with significant contributions to offer. Whether facilitating events, leading volunteer teams, or engaging in discussions, singles can play vital roles that significantly shape the church’s mission.

Opportunities for Growth and Community Engagement

One of the most profound opportunities for singles within church ministry is the chance for personal growth. Single life provides unique experiences that enhance emotional intelligence and resilience. Engaging with diverse groups allows singles to develop skills in communication and teamwork, preparing them for leadership roles in both church and broader contexts.

Volunteering for church projects or local outreach programs also offers singles the chance to make genuine connections with others. Whether it’s organizing community service events or participating in mission trips, these experiences not only cultivate friendships but also deepen one’s faith journey. They provide environments where singles can share their personal stories, further solidifying bonds of trust and support.

Moreover, the church often serves as a springboard for singles seeking professional development. Many church communities host workshops, seminars, and mentorship programs tailored to personal and spiritual growth. These initiatives help not only to strengthen the individual’s capabilities but also to empower them as shapers of ministry agendas.

In addition, engaging in church ministries opens doors to networking opportunities that can prove invaluable both personally and professionally. By fostering relationships and collaborating with a diverse array of individuals, singles can create a supportive network that extends beyond the walls of the church.

Navigating Challenges Faced by Singles in Church Settings

Despite the numerous positives, singles within church settings often face specific challenges. One prominent issue is the perception that singles are somehow incomplete or lesser than their partnered counterparts. This stigma can lead to feelings of isolation—even in a community that values belonging. Addressing this represents a vital step towards inclusivity.

Additionally, the pressure to engage in couple-centric activities can feel overwhelming. Events that celebrate marriages may inadvertently remind singles of their status, generating a sense of alienation. Churches can combat this by ensuring that programming reflects diverse lifestyles, fostering environments where singles can flourish alongside couples and families.

Stereotypes can also create barriers. Comments about being single or the constant questions about dating can lead to discomfort and discourage involvement in church activities. Therefore, it’s essential for church leaders to foster open conversations about single life, normalizing the experience and encouraging a culture that respects all pathways of life.

Ultimately, navigating these challenges requires open dialogue and understanding. By creating supportive spaces where singles feel valued and appreciated, the entire church body can grow together. Emphasizing that every member, regardless of relationship status, contributes to the church’s mission strengthens unity and promotes a deeper sense of belonging.

Building Supportive Friendships and Accountability

Friendships are the bedrock of a fulfilling life, and this is especially true for singles engaging in church ministry. Building authentic relationships can create a supportive network that fosters emotional strength and spiritual growth. These friendships provide opportunities to share struggles, celebrate victories, and encourage accountability.

Creating small groups or prayer circles can serve as great avenues for singles to connect on a deeper level. Such settings promote open discussions about faith, life challenges, and personal aspirations. This sharing creates bonds based on trust and empathy, allowing individuals to feel understood and supported.

Furthermore, accountability plays a crucial role in personal development. Friends in the church can hold each other accountable, providing motivation to grow spiritually and thrive in their single life. Regular check-ins and shared goals can instill a collective drive toward personal achievements, enriching everyone’s experiences.

The friendships nurtured in these spaces extend beyond individual goals; they also create a community ready to tackle challenges together. When singles support each other, it fosters an uplifting environment that encourages proactive spiritual and personal growth. This synergy is a powerful testimony of community at work, and it reflects the heart of church ministry.

Encouraging Inclusivity and Understanding within the Church

Inclusivity is the cornerstone of a vibrant church community, particularly for singles navigating church ministry. To foster a culture that embraces everyone, church leaders can take concrete steps to celebrate diversity in lifestyles and relationship statuses. Offering a variety of programs that resonate with different demographics can enrich collective worship experiences and minimize feelings of alienation.

Creating forums for open discussion also promotes understanding. Providing opportunities for singles to share their journeys, insights, and challenges not only empowers them but also educates others in the congregation. This dialogue cultivates a respectful atmosphere where every voice is valued, thus enabling deeper connections.

Moreover, leaders can model inclusivity through active invitations to singles in leadership roles and ministry development. When singles see themselves represented in church activities, it inspires confidence and a sense of belonging. Their gifts and contributions are essential, and leadership roles provide platforms for influencing the broader church mission.

Ultimately, a church community that prioritizes inclusivity and understanding can thrive. It removes barriers and opens avenues for singles to express themselves fully. Through these experiences, a more profound authenticity can flourish among all members, enriching the shared faith journey.

Finding Ministry Opportunities that Are Fulfilling and Impactful

Identifying fulfilling ministry opportunities is a transformative experience for singles looking to leave their mark on the church community. These opportunities not only align with their available time and resources but also resonate with their passions and values. From outreach programs to community service, the possibilities are abundant.

Volunteering for church initiatives creates a sense of ownership and belonging. Singles can explore various ministry roles that ignite their enthusiasm and drive, whether teaching, event planning, or leading new projects. Engaging in meaningful work reinforces their connection to the church community and offers the chance to showcase their unique skills and insights.

Moreover, proactive engagement in church ministries encourages personal discovery. Singles often unearth hidden talents and learn more about their purpose as they participate in various projects. This exploration is invaluable as it ultimately guides their spiritual journey and enriches their relationship with God.

In essence, finding the right ministry opportunity is about aligning personal passions with the church’s mission. When singles leverage their strengths within the church, they not only contribute to the community but also find fulfillment and purpose in their service, creating impacts that are felt both within and beyond the church walls.

Cultivating a Personal Relationship with Faith in Single Life

A personal relationship with faith is crucial for anyone, but it can take on unique dimensions for singles in church ministry. Life’s challenges often motivate individuals to deepen their connection with God, and singles have the opportunity to lean into this journey. Understanding that faith is a deeply personal experience can be incredibly liberating.

For singles, cultivating this relationship can involve seeking out spiritual practices that resonate with them. Whether it’s journaling, meditation, or regular Bible study, being open to various methods of connecting with faith can lead to significant growth. Individuals can tailor their spiritual journeys to meet their personal needs and aspirations.

Moreover, engaging with faith through service can be an enriching experience. By involving themselves in ministry, singles can express their beliefs and values actively, allowing for deeper exchanges with God. This hands-on engagement reinforces their sense of purpose and commitment to living out their faith.

Additionally, maintaining regular communication with God through prayer is essential. This practice enhances the relationship, as consistent dialogue encourages vulnerability and trust. Learning to rely on faith during times of solitude can foster resilience, equipping singles with the strength needed to navigate life’s unpredictabilities.

Finding Purpose and Connection in Single Life Church Ministry

Embracing single life in church ministry can present a range of unique opportunities and challenges. By understanding and addressing these dynamics, individuals can find fulfillment, support, and a sense of purpose in their church community. Ultimately, each single person has the potential to thrive and contribute meaningfully, enriching both their own lives and the lives of others.

5 Ways Singles Ministry Can Transform Your Church Community

Fri, 13 Sep 2024 11:49:00 GMT

In today’s fast-paced world, many individuals find themselves navigating life without a built-in support system. A vibrant singles ministry can play a pivotal role in fostering community and connection within your church. By creating a space where single adults feel welcomed, supported, and engaged, you can transform not only their lives but the entire church community. In this blog, we will explore five impactful ways a singles ministry can revitalize your church and strengthen relationships among members.

Building Community Connections

One of the primary goals of a singles ministry is to foster a sense of belonging among single adults in the church. By offering tailored events and activities, this ministry creates numerous opportunities for individuals to connect beyond the usual pews. Picture a game night or a dinner gathering where singles can bond over shared interests and experiences. Not only do these gatherings spark friendships, but they also help to eliminate the feelings of loneliness that can sometimes accompany being single.

Moreover, these connections can extend beyond casual interactions. By forming small groups within the ministry, participants can build more profound relationships and support each other through life’s challenges. It’s incredibly fulfilling for individuals to know they are not alone in their journeys. When they encounter someone else facing similar hurdles, it adds a layer of comfort that is invaluable.

Additionally, involving singles in church-wide events can help bridge gaps between demographics. By fostering an inclusive atmosphere, single adults can interact with families, couples, and older generations. This interaction promotes understanding and appreciation of different life stages, enriching the entire church community. It encourages everyone to share their perspectives, which can lead to growth and unity.

Encouraging Personal Growth and Development

A singles ministry is not just about social connections; it’s also about personal growth. By providing workshops and seminars focusing on various life skills—such as financial planning, career development, and emotional health—singles can work towards their personal aspirations. The more equipped individuals feel in their personal lives, the more confident they become in their faith journey as well.

By encouraging participation in spiritual formation activities, singles can deepen their relationship with God and with others. Studies have shown that when people engage in discussions around scripture and faith, they are likely to experience meaningful insights that spur growth. It’s through these moments of reflection and shared wisdom that bonds are formed, allowing individuals to grow both spiritually and personally.

An effective singles ministry will also promote mentorship opportunities, pairing younger singles with those who have faced similar life stages. This mentorship could involve accountability groups or more informal friendships that foster mutual support. Such relationships can lead to profound insights and encourage personal development as members navigate their journeys together.

Creating Safe Spaces for Discussion

Creating safe spaces for open discussion is vital for any singles ministry. Many individuals within this demographic may feel marginalized or misunderstood, and having a forum where they can express their thoughts and concerns is crucial. When singles come together to share experiences, it fosters vulnerability, trust, and authenticity within the group.

Moreover, these discussions can be guided by trained facilitators who can help ensure that conversations remain respectful and productive. Not only does this contribute to a sense of security, but it also cultivates an atmosphere conducive to growth and understanding. It sets the stage for addressing topics such as dating, faith, and navigating life’s challenges, enabling individuals to engage in constructive dialogue.

When singles feel that their voices matter, it encourages proactive participation in the church community. They are more likely to share their gifts and talents, whether it be through volunteering, leading a group, or organizing events. This empowerment ultimately enriches the overall ministry and creates a collaborative, engaged church environment.

Facilitating Service Opportunities

A singles ministry can be a fantastic platform for fostering service opportunities within the community. Engaging single adults in outreach programs not only benefits the community at large but also instills a sense of purpose in the individuals involved. When singles participate in acts of service, they are reminded of their capacity to effect change.

This involvement can take many forms, such as organizing food drives, volunteering at shelters, or participating in church missions. These experiences help to build camaraderie among members and can lead to lasting friendships forged through teamwork. Service also reinforces the idea that everyone has a role to play in God’s greater purpose, regardless of their relationship status.

By highlighting the impact of service, singles ministries can also encourage individuals to reflect on their spiritual gifts. Participants can explore their strengths and interests, finding meaningful ways to contribute. This reflection can catalyze personal growth and a deeper understanding of their unique contributions to both the church and the community.

Strengthening Church Outreach Efforts

A robust singles ministry can significantly enhance a church’s outreach efforts. When single adults feel engaged and valued, they become passionate advocates for their church community. They are likely to invite friends and acquaintances, helping to create an environment that is welcoming to newcomers. This outreach can extend well beyond the church walls.

Moreover, singles ministries can organize community events and programs that cater specifically to the needs of unpartnered individuals in the greater community. By providing resources and support to those who may feel isolated, churches create a ripple effect of connection. This proactive approach can draw in new attendees who may have previously felt neglected.

Additionally, it’s essential for the church to recognize and celebrate the contributions of its single members publicly. When singles see their impact acknowledged, it motivates them to remain involved and invested, reinforcing the notion that their ministry is vital to the church’s success. This broader engagement leads to a more vibrant and diverse church community.

The Lasting Impact of a Thriving Singles Ministry

Embracing a singles ministry can bring numerous benefits to your church community, from fostering meaningful connections to encouraging personal growth. By investing time and resources into this vital area, churches can create an environment that is inclusive and nurturing for everyone, regardless of their relationship status. Ultimately, a thriving singles ministry can help cultivate a deeper sense of belonging and drive community engagement, enriching the lives of both singles and the church as a whole.

8 Common Challenges in a Single Adult’s Spiritual Journey and How to Overcome Them

Thu, 12 Sep 2024 01:30:00 GMT

Explore how to overcome 8 common challenges in your spiritual journey by reading our blog for practical insights and inspiration.

How Do I Find Singles Near Me? Build Meaningful Connections

Sun, 01 Sep 2024 11:57:00 GMT

Singles Near Me: Build Meaningful Connections

50% of all adults in America now say they are lonely. Finding meaningful connections can be challenging, especially for singles looking for community. The search for “singles near me” is common, driven by the desire to meet like-minded individuals who share similar values and interests. Whether you’re looking for friendships, dating opportunities, or simply a supportive community, there are several methods that singles can use to connect with others. In addition to these methods, churches offer a unique space for singles to find companionship and grow spiritually through discipleship to be complete in Christ.

1. Online Platforms and Social Media

One of the most popular ways singles searches for “singles near me” is through online platforms and social media. With the rise of dating apps, social networking sites, and meetup groups, connecting with people nearby has become easier than ever. These platforms allow you to search for individuals based on shared interests, values, and geographical location, making meeting others in the same life stage convenient.

Popular Methods:

While online platforms are convenient and offer many possibilities, they may not always lead to deep, meaningful connections. This is where the church can play a pivotal role.

2. Churches as a Hub for Connection and Discipleship

For singles seeking more than casual connections, the church offers a unique environment to meet others who share their faith and values. Churches are not just places of worship; they are communities where individuals can build lasting relationships grounded in shared beliefs. When singles search for “singles near me,” they often overlook the church as a vibrant and supportive community where meaningful connections can flourish.

How Churches Foster Connections:

The beauty of connecting with other singles in a church setting is that these relationships are often built on a foundation of shared values and mutual support. This not only enhances the depth of the connection but also provides a community that encourages spiritual growth.

3. In-Person Events and Activities

In addition to online platforms and church-based communities, singles can also find “singles near me” through local events and activities. These provide opportunities to meet others in a natural, enjoyable setting.

Examples Include:

Finding “singles near me” is not just about searching for companionship; it’s about building meaningful, lasting relationships. While online platforms offer convenience, churches provide a unique opportunity for singles to connect on a deeper level through community and discipleship. By engaging with both the digital and spiritual communities available to them, singles can find connections and a supportive, faith-based community where they can grow together. Whether you’re looking for friendships, romantic connections, or a place to deepen your faith, the church is an often overlooked but powerful resource in your journey.

Feeling Lonely? Take Ownership & Build Connections

Fri, 23 Aug 2024 11:47:00 GMT

We all see the posts of a lonely person.

Whether married or single, you have friends who post and post, and then post some more. It seems every time you check your feed, you know the last meal they ate and how their food was!

Then there are posts of loneliness and clear cries for attention and help that break your heart. You want your friends to not feel lonely, so you try to get them to engage in activities but to no avail.

For singles, this is more common as they often live alone, and even those with a roommate spend time alone. Alone time does not equal being lonely. Being lonely is the feeling of abandonment or low self-worth that makes a person feel like no one else knows how they feel.

Here is the thing with loneliness: you have to own some of the responsibility yourself. To be a person who is not lonely, you have to be the instigator to say yes more often to social engagements, and sometimes that means spending money to make things happen. It is not a matter of being an introvert or extrovert.

To avoid feeling lonely, you need to be proactive in staying engaged in life.

Below are a few ways you may be responsible for feeling lonely:

Not Connecting with Friends
Friends are a great base of social interaction and companionship for anyone. Some friendships, like David and Jonathan’s in the Old Testament, can be deep and meaningful (1 Samuel 18:1-4). You have to own half of the responsibility to establish relationships that can be deep friendships. Connect with others that share a common interest and resist the urge to stay home all the time.

Not Doing Social Things with Others
We hear the uproar to this comment. Yes, we know it can be difficult to afford being social all the time. Singles are on a tight budget and every dollar is important. But, social things are important, even for the introvert. You need to find social things to do. They do not have to always be singles events. Sites like www.meetup.com offer a way for you to find an interest and share it with others. Go out with co-workers. Say yes to lunch on Sundays, even with that married couple that asks. Being connected is worth every penny.

Not Reaching Out to Others in Times of Need
Nothing is more frustrating for a leader or minister than to find out a person in their group was in need and did not let anyone know. It is hard for anyone to admit they need help. But, if you are fighting against being lonely, not reaching out will not fix it. People may offer to help you from time to time. If you say no every time, you become more distant from others, which leads to our next point.

Not Allowing People to Love You
In his book, The Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman believes everyone has a “love tank.” We agree! Singles, you have a love language and you need to know how you prefer to be loved so you can allow people to love you. You have to let down some guards and take a risk from time to time. Friends are there to help you and love you. It is hard, but it is worth it! (Click HERE to take a test to find your love language.)

Not Establishing a “Framily”
Friends who are family, “framily”! You need to have a few 1 a.m. friends, framily, or whatever you call them in your life to walk with you. Unfortunately, in this fallen world, the older we get, the more family is lost to tragedy. The principle here is to surround yourself with people you love and who love you enough to invest in your life. That way, when hardships come, you have a network of people to call–not just one or two family members.

Lastly, leaders to singles, never stop reaching out to those who are lonely. One day, they may let you into their framily. It may take years to break down their walls and let you into their world, but it is worth it.

Singles ministries that thrive are ones that create a sense of community for one another, and those that flourish are based on the Word of God. That is why our mission statement is to Build Community for Single Adults Through Discipleship. Keep loving the ones who fight your love the most. These people are the reason we started this blog. The one on Facebook who is lonely and looking to connect with others.

Being a single friendly church

Wed, 21 Aug 2024 11:21:00 GMT

Part 3: Be a Single Friendly Church

If you are joining us for the first time, please check out our first post on “ Who are singles ” to define who singles are and “ How to connect singles to my group .” To not reach singles is to not reach your community . Being a single friendly church is more than a program or a ministry. It is embracing all types of singles and identifying their unique life stage and ways to engage them. Whether you are a lay leader or church staff member, all of us can help our churches SEE singles so we can reach singles.

Reach and Engage

Let’s start with naming each type of single adult. Then, look at one way to engage them in your church and one way to reach them in their community.

Common Mistakes

Mistakes happen, and they are almost always from a place of misunderstanding. When it comes to our churches, being single-friendly starts with knowing the eight types of singles, how to reach and engage them, and then adapting our communication to include them. Here are some common missteps we see with churches trying to connect with everyone but often leaving out singles.

You Hit What You Aim For

You have singles in your life right now. Maybe in your family, at work, a neighbor, or yourself. The question for a single friendly church is, will your leadership, sermons, and groups offer a place to connect for those singles. William Carry said, “Attempt great things for God, and expect great things from God.” At Table for One Ministries we want to empower you to reach your entire community. We would love to partner with your church and area churches to equip them to see single adults.

Just Stop Sinning

Sat, 03 Aug 2024 11:32:00 GMT

We encounter many conversations with single adults and the issue of sin comes up often. Everyone deals with sin–we are in a broken and fallen world. Not everyone, though, deals with sin the same. This is a look at two different stories of dealing with sin.

“I can’t be expected to stop sinning”

Jared arrived at school ready to study to be a pastor. He is 31, single, and feels called to be a minister. He is very driven and well read in theology and history of the church. While speaking to one of our ministers, he starts talking about his struggles with addiction and says, “It’s not like we can be expected to stop sinning” and continues on to talk about when a friend had asked him to do just that. He argued we were all fallen people in need of grace, to stop sinning is impossible, and it should be expected that all sin is a struggle not something to be conquered.

“I can stop sinning, at least with my actions”

Allen was looking for a church home and decided to give a church down the street a try. They had a singles ministry, and the Sunday he attended the issue was on sin and choosing to turn from sin. Allen was taken aback. He had struggled for years with addiction, admitting he had good and bad seasons in how he dealt with it. No one had ever told him to simply stop sinning. The idea was so foreign to him, he decided to give this “not sinning thing” a try.

It really is as easy as stopping your actions of sinning.

Jared lives in a world where sin is not something he really tries to stop, but only fights off from time to time. Allen now lives in a reality where he may not be able to control all his thoughts, but his actions have been controlled by the power of the Holy Spirit. Bondage vs Freedom.

In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. – Hebrews 12:4

Actions speak louder than words, and that is true of our relationship with God and dealing with sin. Our actions need to reflect our repentant hearts for forgiveness and grace. There are methods and books (especially God’s Word) to help each person find their way to stop acting out on a sin. The key is that as mature believers, we seek those paths and find ways to stop acting on our sin, even if we can not control our thoughts and urges.

The payment for all sin is death. Christ paid that debt in full for everyone. However, the consequences of every sin are different. We urge you to take a stand. Make sin in your life Not an Option and experience the freedom from bondage.

Do you think it is possible to have a mindset to stop sinning in certain areas of your life, particularly with your actions?

How do I connect singles to my church?

Thu, 01 Aug 2024 12:05:00 GMT

Part 2: Connecting Singles

If you are joining us for the first time, please check out our first post on “ Who are singles ” to define who singles are and how to see them in your community. Connecting people to a group is hard! I once had the privilege of leading a group training in South Georgia. When I asked the group why it was hard to reach people, a sweet Southerner replied, “Well, people are messy!” After a huge smile and a room full of laughter, I realized she was right, and the Apostle Paul knew it.

Connect to people, not programs

As Paul traveled and reached people for the Lord, he shared his mindset for engaging people in 1 Corinthians 9. He was willing to adapt in significant ways to “ become all things to all people, so that I may by every possible means save some .” Programs can have a purpose, but they may need modification to receive a new input to achieve the desired output. The world has changed, but have our groups noticed?

Sunday School still works. Home groups still work. Community groups still work. Life groups still work. Care groups still work. Groups that meet in the church still work. Groups that meet at home still work. The name or location of the program/strategy is not the issue. The challenge is that we sometimes build programs, and people change. Programs are created with input and output in their DNA. “Reach X person to have them move to their next X step.” Will we include single adults in our group “input” to connect singles to the body of Christ?

Singles value community, and they are lonely.

We are living in the loneliest generation ever seen in America. “We live in the most technologically connected age in the history of civilization, yet rates of loneliness have doubled since the 1980s.” – Dr. Vivek Murthy, former US Surgeon General. Community is the highest value for singles; we already do it through groups! God has already created, to no shock, the best way for us to reach this current generation, including single adults: GROUPS.

As a group leader, you are faithfully connecting often with people and reaching them. Most groups have a commonality of why they gather and connect. That could be age, life stage, area of town, a common passion, gender, or marital status. Groups can come in many ways, but as leaders, we know we hit what we aim for. Will you aim for singles to be part of your group or help start a new group that will?

Connecting to singles as people

Singles have unique life stages but are not from a different world. “People are messy!” So here are a few ways to connect to singles in your life and your group.

#1 Marriage isn’t the finish line

#2 Build authentic relationships

#3 Be a friend worth having

Connecting singles to a group only takes a bit of program modification and passion to see singles in your community connect.

How to Host a Welcoming Singles Bible Study in Your Church

Fri, 12 Jul 2024 11:38:00 GMT

Introduction to Hosting a Singles Bible Study

Starting a singles Bible study in your church is a fantastic way to create a welcoming environment for individuals to explore faith, form friendships, and grow together spiritually. First, understand that the goal is simple: provide a comfortable and open space where single congregation members can delve into the Bible, discuss life’s challenges, and support one another in faith. To kick things off, you can just focus on creating a relaxed atmosphere. This might mean arranging the room to encourage interaction, like a circle or semi-circle, rather than traditional rows. Remember, the heart of this gathering is connection, so choose Bible study materials relevant to single adults and encourage open discussion. It’s also essential to select leaders or facilitators who are empathetic, insightful, and can guide conversations with sensitivity and depth. Finally, promote your singles Bible study thoughtfully. Use church bulletins, social media, and word of mouth, highlighting the inclusive, safe nature of the group. With these steps, you’ll lay a strong foundation for a singles Bible study that enriches your church community.

Understanding the Needs of Singles in Your Church

Singles in your church come with diverse backgrounds, experiences, and needs. It’s crucial to understand that not all singles are the same. They might be young adults fresh out of college, single parents juggling work and kids, or older members who find themselves alone. Their spiritual needs can vary just as widely. Some may seek companionship and community, and others might be looking for guidance or support as they navigate life alone. Recognizing this variety is the first step to hosting a welcoming Bible study. Remember, the goal is to create an environment where everyone feels seen, respected, and part of the community. Avoid making assumptions about their life situations or spiritual journeys. Instead, create inclusive spaces encouraging open dialogue, mutual support, and spiritual growth. This understanding forms the bedrock of a Bible study that not only welcomes but genuinely serves the singles in your church.

Setting the Right Atmosphere for a Welcoming Singles Bible Study

Creating the right atmosphere ensures your singles Bible study feels welcoming. It’s all about ensuring participants feel comfortable and engaged, ready to open their hearts and minds. Start by choosing a space within your church that feels cozy and inviting. Think soft lighting, comfortable seating, and perhaps even some background music to set a calming tone before the study begins. Secondly, each participant should always be greeted with a warm smile and a friendly hello. Surprisingly, a simple greeting can make someone feel seen and valued. Encourage group members to introduce themselves too; it builds a sense of community. Remember, the goal is to make everyone feel included, so pay attention to dynamics and mix things up if you notice cliques forming. Finally, consider beginning each session with an icebreaker or a brief social time. This allows people to relax and connect personally, which can break down barriers and make the Bible study more effective. The atmosphere you create can turn your singles Bible study into a nurturing, spiritual home for those looking to deepen their faith and their connection to the church community.

Planning the Structure of Your Singles Bible Study

When planning the structure of your Singles Bible Study, keep it simple and focused. Start by choosing a time that works for most people. Evenings or weekends are best since most singles work during the day. Next, decide on how often your group will meet. Weekly or bi-weekly sessions give a good balance between maintaining interest and respecting everyone’s busy schedules.

Think about the format. A mix of small group discussions, prayer time, and a teaching or video segment keeps things engaging. Sessions should be about 60-90 minutes to balance depth with respect for time.

Choose topics that resonate. Discuss relationships, faith challenges, and personal growth. Include series that focus on books of the Bible, character studies, or themes like “Purpose in Singleness”.

You can always leave room for socializing. A few minutes before starting and after wrapping up lets members connect on a personal level. This time is crucial for building community.

Remember, the goal is to make everyone feel welcome and part of the community. Keep the structure flexible to adjust based on feedback. Your Bible study is a living community, growing and adapting with its members.

Choosing Relevant Topics for Discussion

When you’re setting up a singles Bible study, picking the right topics is key. You want to hit the sweet spot where the Bible’s timeless wisdom meets the real-life issues singles face. First, think about what matters to them—relationships, career decisions, faith challenges, and personal growth are huge. Mix it up with a balance of deep theological subjects and practical life topics. Here’s a pro tip: ask the group what they’re curious about or struggling with. This direct approach ensures the discussions feel relevant and engaging. Remember, the goal is to foster a welcoming space where everyone feels valued and heard. Keep it relatable, make it impactful.

Organizing Interactive and Engaging Activities

To make your singles Bible study truly welcoming, you gotta focus on activities that get everyone talking and participating. Start with icebreakers that are easy and fun. Think about simple questions that get people to share a bit about themselves. Stuff like “What’s your favorite Bible verse and why?” or “Share a moment when you felt really close to God.” These aren’t just conversation starters; they help build a sense of community.

Mix it up with group activities that encourage collaboration. Plan a Bible scavenger hunt or form small groups to discuss a passage and then present their thoughts to everyone. This breaks the ice and gets everyone comfortable with sharing in a larger group.

Integrate some form of worship that’s interactive. Maybe a sing-along with simple, acoustic music. It’s not about perfect voices but making a joyful noise together and feeling connected.

And don’t forget to throw in some social time. A little bit of relaxed, unstructured time lets friendships form naturally. You could do this at the end, maybe over snacks or coffee. Keep it light and ensure no one feels pressured into participating.

Remember, the goal is to create an environment where singles feel seen, heard, and part of a community. This isn’t just another meeting; it’s about forming connections and growing in faith together.

Tips for Encouraging Open Communication and Participation

When hosting a singles Bible study, open communication and participation are key to creating a welcoming environment. To achieve this, start by setting ground rules that encourage respectful listening and sharing. Make it clear that everyone’s opinions and thoughts are valued, and there are no wrong answers when discussing faith and personal experiences. Here are a few strategies to promote participation:

Remember, the goal is to foster a sense of community and belonging. Encourage members to support one another and be open to different perspectives. Creating an environment where everyone feels heard and valued will make your singles Bible study a place members look forward to attending.

How to Promote Your Singles Bible Study Within and Outside Your Church

Getting the word out about your Singles Bible Study isn’t just helpful—it’s crucial. You want to reach as many single individuals in your church and community as possible. Here’s how to do it effectively. Start within your church. Use church bulletins, announcements during services, and the church newsletter. Most churchgoers regularly check these, so it’s a direct line to your target audience. Don’t forget to leverage social media. Create event pages on platforms like Facebook and share updates or engaging posts related to your Bible study. It’s not just free; it’s also a way to connect beyond your immediate church community. Post flyers in local businesses or community boards. Coffee shops, bookstores, and even libraries often have spaces for community events. Lastly, word of mouth is powerful. Encourage your current members to invite friends. It adds a personal touch and makes new people more likely to come. Remember, the goal is to create a welcoming, inclusive, and engaging environment for all singles looking to explore their faith.

Addressing Challenges and Providing Support in Singles Bible Study

Facing challenges head-on while providing support in a singles Bible study is key to creating a welcoming environment. One common challenge is ensuring everyone feels included, regardless of their age or background. To tackle this, mix up small groups often and encourage open, judgement-free conversations. Another hurdle is discussing topics that are relevant and engaging. Focus on real-life applications of biblical principles that resonate with single lifestyles, such as relationships, career, and personal growth.

Supporting members emotionally and spiritually also can’t be overlooked. Establish a mentorship program where more seasoned members guide newer ones. This creates a sense of belonging and community. Additionally, hosting social events outside of the regular study sessions can strengthen bonds and provide a relaxed setting for members to connect on a deeper level.

Remember, your role as a leader is not just to educate but to empower. Encourage members to share their insights and experiences. This not only enriches the discussion but also helps members grow in their faith and interpersonal relationships. Keep an open door policy where members feel comfortable reaching out for spiritual guidance or personal advice. By addressing challenges directly and providing unwavering support, your singles Bible study can become a cornerstone of your church’s community, offering a safe, enriching space for all members.

Summary and Next Steps for Growing Your Singles Bible Study

Now that you’ve got the basics down for hosting a singles Bible study, let’s focus on the next steps to keep it growing. You’ve set the foundation; it’s time to build on it. First, consistency is key. Keep your meetings regular, whether weekly or bi-weekly, so members can rely on it as part of their routine. Next, foster a welcoming atmosphere. This isn’t just about the first meeting; it’s about every meeting. Encourage members to invite friends and spread the word. Communication is vital. Set up a group chat or social media page to keep everyone in the loop about upcoming meetings and events. Feedback is your friend. Regularly ask for input on what’s working and what can improve, showing members their opinions matter. Finally, introduce fresh activities or guest speakers to keep the meetings engaging and give members something new to look forward to. Remember, the goal is not just to grow in numbers but in the depth of your study and the strength of your community. Keep pushing forward, and you’ll see your singles Bible study flourish.

Singles Ministry Resources to Support Spiritual Growth

Mon, 01 Jul 2024 11:42:00 GMT

Understanding the Importance of Singles Ministry in Spiritual Development

Identifying Key Singles Ministry Resources for Spiritual Growth

Identifying key singles ministry resources for spiritual growth starts with knowing what’s out there. Start by exploring weekly bible study groups that focus specifically on the needs and questions singles might have. These groups offer a chance to dive deep into faith while connecting with others who share similar life situations. Additionally, consider retreats or workshops designed for singles. These events are powerful for individual growth and provide unique opportunities to bond and form meaningful relationships within the church community. Books and online resources authored by Christian leaders can also be invaluable. Look for ones that tackle topics relevant to single life from a biblical perspective, including dealing with loneliness, understanding God’s plan for relationships, and personal development through faith. Lastly, don’t overlook the value of mentorship within the ministry. Connecting singles with more experienced individuals in the faith can foster spiritual maturity and offer guidance through life’s challenges. Remember, the goal is to utilize these resources to build a supportive, enriching environment that encourages spiritual growth at every turn.

Strategies for Implementing Singles Ministry Resources Effectively

To make the most out of singles ministry resources, it’s important to focus on strategies that foster spiritual growth and community building. First, assess your group’s needs. Are they looking for fellowship, spiritual guidance, or both? Once you understand the needs, tailor your resources accordingly. Use group studies to spark discussions and personal reflection. These can be book series or Bible study guides that challenge individuals to delve deeper into their faith.

Second, workshops and seminars on topics relevant to single adults, such as dating as a Christian, finding your purpose, and managing finances biblically, can offer practical advice and foster a sense of belonging. Encourage engagement by making sessions interactive and relatable.

Third, retreats are excellent for building community and allowing for deeper spiritual exploration. These getaways can range from a weekend in nature to a more structured conference with speakers. The change of scenery often helps attendees open up and experience God in new ways.

Lastly, don’t overlook the power of consistent, small group meet-ups. These gatherings create intimate spaces for individuals to share, pray, and support each other on a regular basis. Implementing a mixture of these strategies will not only utilize your singles ministry resources effectively but also build a thriving, supportive community focused on spiritual growth.

The Role of Community in Enhancing Spiritual Growth Through Singles Ministry

The power of community can’t be underestimated, especially when we talk about growing spiritually through singles ministry. Think about it, walking together with others who share similar life stages and values makes the journey richer and more meaningful. This shared journey provides multiple perspectives, support during tough times, and celebration during the good ones. A singles ministry creates a unique space where individuals can explore their faith, ask deep questions, and wrestle with doubts, all within a supportive community. This is crucial because spiritual growth isn’t a solo adventure; it requires encouragement, accountability, and the diverse insights that only a community can provide. Moreover, such a community fosters a sense of belonging, making it easier to stay committed to one’s spiritual practices and growth. The takeaway here is clear: leaning into the community aspect of singles ministry can significantly amplify your spiritual growth.

Tailoring Singles Ministry Resources to Meet Individual Needs

When running a singles ministry, one size does not fit all. Everyone has unique spiritual pathways and needs, so tailoring resources to meet these diverse needs is essential. Start by genuinely getting to know the individuals in your ministry. What are their interests? Challenges? Spiritual goals? With this understanding, you can better select resources that resonate on a personal level. For example, some might thrive in group Bible studies, while others might prefer one-on-one mentorship or topical workshops focusing on practical aspects of faith in daily life. Incorporate a variety of resources, including books, podcasts, and online courses, that cater to different learning styles and life situations. Remember, the key here is flexibility and the willingness to adapt resources to support each person’s spiritual journey in a meaningful way.

Organizing Events and Activities Using Singles Ministry Resources

To make the most out of singles ministry resources, planning engaging events and activities is key. Start by identifying the interests and needs of your singles group. This could include spiritual growth workshops, community service projects, or fun social outings. Once you have a list, use the resources available to you—like discussion guides, activity manuals, and planning toolkits—to organize these events. Remember, the goal is to foster connections and provide meaningful experiences that encourage spiritual growth. Keep things straightforward: pick a date, set a clear agenda, and spread the word. It doesn’t need to be complicated; simple gatherings with a purpose can have a significant impact. Use feedback from each event to refine and improve future ones, always keeping the focus on meeting the spiritual needs of your singles community.

Online Singles Ministry Resources and How to Leverage Them

Online Singles Ministry Resources are a goldmine for supporting individuals in their spiritual journey. Let’s dive straight into how to make the most out of them. First, identify your goals . Ask yourself, “What am I seeking?” It could be fellowship, understanding Scripture, or personal development. Once you know this, the hunt for resources becomes more focused. Next, explore websites and apps dedicated to Singles Ministry. Many offer devotionals, podcasts, and video series aimed at solo spiritual growth. Don’t just consume; interact. If there’s a comment section or a forum, jump in. Sharing your reflections or asking questions can deepen your understanding and connect you with like-minded individuals. Then, there’s the power of virtual groups . These are spaces where you can meet people from around the globe who are on a similar path. Join Bible studies or accountability groups to keep your spiritual goals in check. Finally, remember this isn’t a solo mission. Share resources with friends or your local community. Maybe even start a discussion group yourself. By leveraging these online resources, not only do you feed your soul, but you also build bridges with others walking the same path. So, get online, get engaged, and watch your spiritual life thrive.

Addressing Challenges in Singles Ministry with Effective Resources

Singles ministry faces unique challenges like loneliness, societal pressure to find a partner, and sometimes a lack of understanding or support within the church community itself. Tackling these issues head-on requires a well-thought-out approach. First, injecting variety into ministry activities can help. This includes both spiritual and social events, creating a balanced environment where single individuals feel valued. Second, offering resources such as counseling services, mentorship programs, and spiritual growth workshops can make a significant difference. These resources provide the support and guidance necessary for personal development. Lastly, encouraging open dialogue and participation ensures that everyone feels heard and understood. By addressing these challenges with the right resources, singles ministry can become a powerful platform for individual and collective growth.

Testimonies and Success Stories: The Impact of Singles Ministry Resources

Sharing testimonials and success stories can be a powerful way to show the impact of your singles ministry resources. When individuals hear about how others have grown spiritually and found a deeper connection with their faith through these resources, it encourages them to engage more deeply and see the potential in their own lives. It’s not just about telling success stories; it’s about showing real-life examples of transformation. People often relate more to stories than statistics. So, when you share how John discovered his life’s purpose or how Sarah found strength during a tough time through the ministry, it paints a vivid picture of the possibilities. These stories serve as evidence that the resources are effective and that the ministry is making a real difference in people’s lives. Remember, it’s about impact—how one book, event, or group discussion can change someone’s perspective or path. Use these stories in your newsletters, on your website, and during your meetings. Let them inspire and motivate your community to dive deeper into what the ministry offers.

Moving Forward: Continuing Spiritual Growth with Singles Ministry Resources

In the journey of faith, individuals often seek guidance to deepen their spiritual understanding and connection with a higher power. For those flying solo, singles ministry resources come as a beacon of hope and support. These resources are crafted to meet your unique life situations, offering a blend of spiritual nourishment and practical wisdom. They come in various formats – think books, online courses, podcasts, and local group meet-ups. Each serves a different purpose but with the same goal: to propel your spiritual growth.

Diving into these resources, you start with self-reflection sessions, guided by thought-provoking questions that challenge your beliefs and values. Then, you can join Bible study groups specifically designed for singles, which offer a safe space to explore faith and form meaningful connections with like-minded individuals. Don’t shy away from attending workshops and retreats that focus on personal development and spiritual enrichment. These gatherings can be pivotal in finding your spiritual footing and understanding your life’s purpose from a faith-based perspective.

Remember, the goal isn’t just to consume these resources but to let them transform you. Make it a habit to apply the lessons learned in your daily life. Whether it’s practicing gratitude, serving others, or setting boundaries, these actions reinforce your spiritual foundation, promoting a well-rounded growth. Engaging with singles ministry resources is more than a passive activity; it’s an active pursuit of a deeper, more fulfilling relationship with faith and community.

The Importance of Having Singles Ministry Bible Study at Your Church

Sat, 15 Jun 2024 15:12:00 GMT

A singles ministry bible study can be a vital component in the life of a church community. It allows single individuals to grow spiritually, build relationships, and find support in a caring environment. In this blog, we will explore why every church should prioritize establishing a singles ministry bible study.

Creating a Support Network

One of the primary benefits of a singles ministry bible study is the fostering of a support network among participants. In today’s fast-paced world, many singles can feel isolated or overlooked within a larger church setting. A dedicated ministry provides an inclusive environment where individuals can share their experiences, challenges, and triumphs. When singles come together, they find comfort in knowing they are not alone, creating deep bonds of friendship that can last a lifetime.

Additionally, support networks encourage accountability, which can be pivotal in personal growth. Members can share their spiritual journeys and offer encouragement to one another. Accountability partners can help individuals stay focused on their faith and personal goals, reinforcing the sense of camaraderie within the group. This network supports emotional well-being and helps in spiritual weaknesses, offering prayer and scripture as a tool for overcoming life’s challenges.

Fostering Spiritual Growth

Spiritual growth is essential for every believer, but it can be especially vital for singles navigating their faith journey. A singles ministry bible study can provide tailored teachings that resonate with the unique challenges and experiences faced by single individuals. This environment encourages participants to dive deeper into scripture, understanding its relevance to their lives personally and spiritually.

Moreover, this ministry allows for open discussions and asking tough questions. Individuals can explore topics ranging from relationships to personal struggles without fear of judgment. This freedom ensures that participants are not just passive learners but active contributors to their spiritual development. When singles engage with one another in a study setting, they are more likely to feel inspired to apply biblical teachings in their daily lives, empowering them in their relationship with God.

Furthermore, having a space dedicated to spiritual exploration allows for shared experiences and testimonies that can illuminate faith in action. The stories of transformation and growth demonstrated by others can serve as powerful motivators for individuals seeking to enhance their own walks with Christ. Regular bible studies can produce enthusiasm for personal growth and ultimately help build a robust community of faith.

Encouraging Healthy Relationships

An oft-overlooked aspect of singles ministry bible study is its role in encouraging healthy relationships. It provides an excellent platform where individuals can form bonds based on shared faith and similar experiences. Through structured activities and discussions, participants can learn about God-centered relationships, laying a strong foundation for future connections, whether platonic or romantic.

Moreover, building relationships within a spiritual framework promotes respect and understanding. A singles ministry bible study can teach its members how to communicate effectively, set boundaries, and develop emotional intelligence, all crucial skills for maintaining healthy relationships. This not only prepares individuals for potential romantic engagements but also strengthens friendships and community ties.

Additionally, group activities such as service projects or community outreach can foster teamwork and collaboration among singles, allowing them to connect in meaningful ways. These shared experiences help create a sense of belonging and unity, all while embodying the core values of friendship and support set within the church community.

Providing Singles Ministry Bible Study

Biblical guidance is another vital component of a singles ministry bible study. Many singles grapple with decisions regarding relationships, career paths, and personal dilemmas. A strong biblical foundation equips participants with the wisdom to tackle these challenges. Through teachings and discussions grounded in scripture, members can seek direction aligned with their faith.

Exploring biblical principles encourages individuals to reflect on their values and priorities. It often leads to greater clarity about one’s desires and aspirations regarding friendships, work, or dating. This guidance can prove essential in developing a well-rounded worldview that honors both self and God. Thus, a singles ministry bible study enhances knowledge and facilitates personal growth, resulting in a more fulfilling life.

Building a Community of Believers

Ultimately, a singles ministry bible study is essential in building a community of believers. In a world where connections are often superficial, fostering deep, meaningful relationships among singles can inspire a sense of belonging that is deeply rooted in faith. This community creates a safe space where individuals can navigate life’s complexities together.

As members come together in unity, they enrich one another’s lives through shared experiences and spiritual growth. This dynamic creates an environment where each person feels valued and significant within the larger church body. A singles ministry encourages the idea that together we are stronger—supporting one another as we grow in our faith journey and purpose.

If you recognize these 7 signs, you’re more than happy being single

Sat, 11 May 2024 12:48:00 GMT

Introduction: Embracing the Single Life

Being single isn’t a sign that you’re missing out. In fact, for many, it’s a choice that comes with a hefty dose of happiness. Think about it; you’ve got the whole bed to yourself, total control over the TV remote, and the freedom to make plans without consulting anyone else. This isn’t about flying solo in a sad way. Nope, it’s about embracing all the perks that come your way when you’re not tied down. So, if you’ve been nodding along to this, you’re in the right headspace. You’re not waiting for someone to complete you because, with Jesus, you’re already complete. This blog will dive into those unmistakable signs that you’re not just okay with being single – you love it. And why not? When you’re rocking the single life, you answer to no one but yourself, and there’s something pretty unique about that freedom. Let’s break down those signs.

Sign #1: You enjoy your own company

If you like hanging out with yourself and doing things alone, and you don’t feel lonely, that’s a clear sign you’re more than happy being single. You might enjoy reading a book, watching your favorite show, or simply walking alone. Enjoying your own company means you’re comfortable in your skin. You don’t need someone else to fill your time or make you happy. You find joy in your hobbies and interests; they are your best companions. This isn’t about avoiding people but valuing and making the most of your alone time.

Sign #2: You have a rich and fulfilling social life

If you’re someone with a bunch of friends you love spending time with and attending social gatherings, and you never feel the need for a significant other to complete your weekends, you’re nailing single life. It’s a clear sign you’re more than happy being single. You value deep connections with friends, family, and church, and your social calendar is always buzzing with plans. You’re confident in stepping out alone or with your crew, experiencing life to the fullest without feeling the void many associate with singlehood. Your fulfillment comes from the quality time spent with people who matter, not from relationship status. This means you’ve built a life rich in experiences and memories, with or without a partner.

Sign #3: You’re focused on personal growth

When you’re into being more like Jesus and self-improvement than looking for someone to fill a gap, that’s a sign you’re happy flying solo. Being focused on personal growth means setting goals that are all about you – like hitting a new personal record at the gym, daily time with the Lord, or finally starting that side project you’ve been dreaming about. It’s not about shutting people out; it’s about tuning into what makes you tick and going after it with everything you’ve got. This level of self-commitment shows you’re not waiting for someone else to complete you. Instead, you’re working on becoming the best version of yourself by yourself.

Sign #4: You don’t feel pressured to date

You’re really comfortable in your own skin and the idea of jumping into dating just because everyone else is doing it doesn’t bother you one bit. You know those moments, right? When friends or family start hinting, it’s time to find someone. For you, that’s just background noise. Instead of feeling that societal squeeze to couple up, you relish making your own choices on your timeline. It’s not about defiance; it’s about knowing yourself and what makes you tick. You don’t see being single as a problem that needs fixing. This sense of freedom and self-assurance means you’re more than okay riding solo.

Sign #5: You’re financially independent and secure

If you find yourself nodding in agreement to this, it’s a huge sign you’re sailing smoothly in your solo journey. Being financially independent and secure means you’re not scouting for a partner to fill any monetary gaps. You handle your bills, savings, and splurges without a second thought. You’ve got a budget, and you stick to it. This independence isn’t just about being able to afford the fancy latte or the solo trip abroad; it’s about the peace and satisfaction of knowing you’re self-sufficient and everything belongs to the Lord. You don’t rely on someone else’s paycheck to dream or make plans. Whether saving for a rainy day, investing in stocks, or managing day-to-day expenses, you’re the captain of your ship. This sense of financial freedom is empowering and is a clear indicator that you’re not just okay with being single, but you’re thriving in it.

Sign #6: You have clear life goals and aspirations

If you’ve got life goals and dreams and you’re chasing them without needing someone to tag along, you’re more than happy being single. This means you’re focused on your path, whether climbing the career ladder, pursuing your passions or traveling the world. You understand that being in a relationship can sometimes change these pursuits, not because relationships are bad, but because they require time and compromise. Your happiness and satisfaction come from achieving what you’ve set out for yourself. This is a vital sign that you’re not just okay with being single; you thrive in it.

Sign #7: You find happiness in your freedom and decisions

Living solo and loving it? If you beam at the thought of coming home to an agenda that’s all yours, you’ve hit sign number seven. Here’s the crux of it: finding joy in your freedom and choices spells out a big, bold love for the single life. This means your gut lights up at making decisions without a second opinion. Want to binge-watch a series without a debate on what to watch? Or pick up a new hobby on a whim. You could serve on a mission in your community at a moment’s notice. That’s the kind of freedom talking. When your happiness bubbles up from choosing what’s for dinner or plotting your next solo adventure, you’re not just okay with being single—you’re relishing it. This isn’t about shunning love or companionship; instead, it’s about embracing your current state and squeezing every bit of joy from it. If your sense of peace and satisfaction comes from steering your ship, congratulations. You’re experiencing true contentment in your independence, and that’s a sign worth celebrating.

The benefits of being happily single

Being happily single isn’t just about avoiding relationship drama. It’s got a bunch of perks that often go unnoticed. For starters, you have more time to focus on your relationship with the Lord and personal. This means diving deep into hobbies, adopting new skills, and breaking personal barriers for the Kingdom. Your wallet might thank you, too. Without the pressure of date nights, anniversary gifts, and romantic getaways, you can save or spend on things that bring you joy. Health benefits? Yep, those too. Singles often find more time to stay active and maintain a social life with friends, which is key to mental well-being. Plus, you’re the master of your own space—no debates over what to eat for dinner or what movie to watch. Lastly, being content with being single paves the way to a healthier future relationship. Knowing you’re good on your means, you’re less likely to settle for less than you deserve.

Conclusion: The importance of self-love and satisfaction

Recognizing these 7 signs means you’ve found the sweet spot of self-love and satisfaction. It’s not about shunning relationships but embracing the freedom and peace that come with being content in your own company. This state of mind isn’t a permanent checkout from the dating world but a healthy pause where you focus on yourself. It’s crucial to remember that being happy alone isn’t a sign of weakness but strength. It means you’re not waiting for someone else to fill your cup; you’re doing it yourself. And that, folks, is both empowering and liberating. Use this time to explore your interests, set personal goals, and nurture your well-being. Being happy being single isn’t the end game but a positive phase where self-love and satisfaction are your main companions.

Navigating Single Parenthood: How Single Parent Ministries Can Help

Fri, 10 May 2024 15:58:00 GMT

Introduction to Single Parenthood Challenges

Being a single parent comes with its own set of challenges, unique and complicated in every sense. You’re not just the primary caregiver but also the sole provider, balancing work, parenting, and personal growth, all at once. It’s a continuous juggling act, where financial pressures, time constraints, and emotional rollercoasters are part of the daily grind. There’s also the task of dealing with societal judgments, sometimes feeling isolated in a world that doesn’t quite understand the dynamics of single parenthood. This journey, although tough, is not insurmountable. Single parent ministries offer a beacon of hope, providing resources, support, and a community that understands and navigates these hurdles together. They serve as a reminder that you’re not alone, providing a helping hand in times of need, and empowering single parents to face challenges with resilience and courage.

What is a Single Parent Ministry?

A Single Parent Ministry is a support system designed specifically for single parents. It exists to provide emotional, practical, and sometimes financial support to parents navigating the journey of raising children alone. These ministries understand the unique challenges single parents face, from the exhaustion of doing it all solo to the loneliness that can come from not having a partner to share the burdens and joys of parenting. They often offer group meetings, counseling sessions, and social events to create a community where single parents can share advice, friendship, and support. Additionally, they might provide resources like childcare, clothing, food assistance, and guidance on managing finances effectively. Essentially, Single Parent Ministries aim to lighten the load for single parents, making sure they and their children feel valued and supported.

The Role of Faith in Single Parent Support

Faith plays a critical role in single parent support, especially within single parent ministries. These ministries offer more than just practical aid; they provide a sense of belonging and community. It’s about finding strength in belief during challenging times. Many single parents turn to faith-based organizations for support, where they are not just seen as individuals in need but as part of a larger family. These ministries often host events, provide counseling, and offer financial assistance, but their core mission goes beyond that. They aim to uplift the spirit, offer hope, and create a supporting network anchored in shared beliefs. This network becomes a pillar for many single parents, giving them the resilience to face daily challenges. Faith-based support groups emphasize understanding, non-judgment, and encouragement, reflecting the values of compassion and kindness. For single parents, navigating life’s hurdles with the backing of a faith community can make all the difference, offering both spiritual nourishment and practical help.

Types of Support Offered by Single Parent Ministries

Single parent ministries understand the unique challenges single parents face every day. They step in to offer various types of support designed to lighten the load. Let’s break it down. Emotional Support : Sometimes, just having someone to talk to makes a big difference. These ministries have folks ready to listen, empathize, and offer encouragement. Financial Guidance : Struggling to balance the books? They offer advice and sometimes direct assistance to help manage finances more effectively. Childcare Solutions : Finding reliable and affordable childcare is a big hurdle. Ministries often have programs or partnerships to address this issue. Educational Workshops : From parenting classes to personal development seminars, they provide valuable knowledge and skills to tackle life’s challenges head-on. Community Connection : They help you find a network of people in similar situations. Having a community provides a sense of belonging and shared experiences. Remember, the aim is to not just survive, but thrive as a single parent. Single parent ministries are there to help make that happen.

How Single Parent Ministries Foster Community

Single Parent Ministries exist to provide more than just support; they create a sense of community for parents tackling the challenges of raising kids alone. They organize gatherings, events, and workshops, making it easier for single parents to connect, share their stories, and learn from each other. This sense of belonging can be a game-changer. It helps to know you’re not alone, that there are others who understand exactly what you’re going through. These ministries often offer practical assistance too, like childcare during meetings or financial advice sessions, making life a bit easier for single parents. Plus, they can be a resource for connections to other local services that cater to single-parent families’ needs. Joining a Single Parent Ministry can lead to forming lasting friendships and finding a support network that truly gets the ups and downs of single parenthood.

Navigating Financial Challenges with Ministry Assistance

Single parents often face financial challenges that seem insurmountable. However, single parent ministries can be a lifeline. These organizations understand the unique struggles of single parenting and offer targeted financial assistance. They might help you cover daily expenses, secure housing, or even find scholarships for you or your kids. What’s more, they provide budgeting advice and workshops to help you manage your finances more effectively. But it’s not just about money. These ministries offer emotional support and a community that understands what you’re going through. Joining a single parent ministry could be a game-changer in how you tackle financial hurdles.

Emotional and Spiritual Support for Single Parents

Single parenting is tough, no doubt about it. You’re juggling the roles of both parents, managing household duties, and trying to provide for your family, all on your own. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed, isolated, or even lost at times. That’s where single parent ministries step in, offering a much-needed support system. These ministries provide emotional and spiritual support to help you navigate the challenges of single parenthood.

Through group sessions, you can connect with other single parents who understand exactly what you’re going through. You’re not alone. Sharing experiences and coping strategies can lift a lot of weight off your shoulders. Besides, these groups often host workshops and seminars focusing on personal development and parenting skills, which are incredibly beneficial.

Furthermore, single parent ministries understand the importance of spiritual nourishment. They offer opportunities for prayer, worship, and religious studies, helping you find strength and guidance through faith. This kind of support can be a game-changer, offering peace and a sense of community.

In essence, single parent ministries are there to help you find balance, recover your strength, and build a supportive community. They remind you that it’s okay to seek help and that together, you can face the trials and triumphs of single parenthood.

Success Stories: Transformations Through Single Parent Ministry

Single parent ministries have the power to turn lives around. Many single moms and dads feel overwhelmed by childcare, work, and managing household responsibilities alone. This is where single parent ministries come into play. They provide support, community, and resources to help single parents navigate their unique challenges. The stories of transformation are both inspiring and heartwarming.

One single dad shared how a ministry helped him find a better job. This was a game-changer for his family, helping them move from just getting by to thriving. A single mom mentioned how the ministry offered her emotional support and practical advice on budgeting and time management, making her feel less alone and more capable.

These ministries often offer workshops, mentoring, and financial assistance, but it’s the community aspect that truly changes lives. Knowing you’re not alone in your struggles makes a huge difference. The success stories coming from single parent ministries aren’t just about financial stability or time management but about building stronger families and happier parents. This transformation impacts not only the current generation but sets a positive example for their children.

How to Find and Join a Single Parent Ministry

Finding and joining a single parent ministry might feel tricky at first, but it’s a step that could bring a lot of support and community into your life. Start by asking at local churches; many have specific ministries aimed at single parents. You might not be religious, but these groups often focus more on support than theology. Next, hit the internet. Websites like Meetup.com or even Facebook groups can connect you to local and virtual single parent ministries. Don’t forget to check community bulletin boards at libraries or community centers, too. When you find a group, reach out. Send an email, make a call, or just show up to a meeting. People in these ministries understand what you’re going through and are there to help, not judge. Remember, the goal is to find a community that makes you feel supported and understood.

Final Thoughts: The Impact of Ministry on Single Parenthood

Single parent ministries make a real difference in the lives of single parents and their children. They offer more than just advice; they provide tangible support, community, and resources that can transform a tough journey into one of empowerment and growth. Whether it’s through financial assistance, childcare, educational workshops, or creating a support network, these ministries tackle the challenges of single parenthood head-on. By stepping in to fill the gaps left by the absence of a partner, they help in reducing the stigma and isolation often felt by single parents. Moreover, they provide a sense of belonging and a safe space for healing and growth, showing that single parents are not alone in their journey. The impact is profound not just on the parents, but on their children as well, leading to healthier families and stronger communities. Joining or getting support from a single parent ministry can be a game-changer, offering hope and practical help in navigating the complexities of single parenthood.

Top 5 Singles Ministry Resources for Effective Church Engagement

Mon, 06 May 2024 11:09:00 GMT

Starting a Singles Ministry: The Importance of Inclusion

Singles ministry isn’t just a small section of the church scene; it’s vital to engaging and nurturing the faith community. Think about it. Today’s church isn’t just for families and couples. It’s young adults, professionals moving for work, and those finding their faith at different stages of life. Singles are collegiates, young adults, never-married, dating, engaged, divorced, single parents, widows, and same-sex attracted. Start your singles ministry with inclusion for singles of all backgrounds to be complete in Christ. It’s ensuring everyone has a seat at the table, or better yet, there’s a table where everyone feels welcome. The church strengthens its community by inviting diverse perspectives and experiences that enrich everyone’s spiritual journey. So, including a robust singles ministry isn’t an extra; it’s essential. It signals that the church is a place for everyone, regardless of marital status.

Top 5 Singles Ministry Resources Overview

When it comes to singles ministry, having the right resources can make all the difference. Let’s dive straight into the top 5 resources that can help your church effectively engage with singles.

First up, Be Single Friendly Coaching . These interactive coaching sessions offer churches a space to learn about what it means to be single-friendly. Our coaching’s are customized and live in-person or online video training with your core church leadership.

Second, we’ve got Online Forums and Groups . Platforms like Facebook host numerous groups, including ours , where singles can find community, support, and advice from peers navigating similar life stages. These groups offer a blend of anonymity and community, making them an excellent space for honest discussions.

Next, our Website is a treasure trove of articles, podcasts, and discussions on faith, dating, and life as a single adult. With content that’s both deep and accessible, Table for One provides insightful perspectives to guide singles in their personal and spiritual growth.

The fourth resource is Singles Retreats and Conferences . These events provide a fantastic way for singles to escape the daily grind, meet new people, and learn how to be complete in Christ. They often feature guest speakers, workshops, and activities that foster growth and community.

Lastly, Books and Devotionals for Singles . Titles like “Single, Dating, Engaged, Married” by Ben Stuart offer valuable insights into different life stages. At the same time, daily devotionals can help singles connect with God personally every day.

These five resources can help your singles ministry thrive by providing guidance, community, and spiritual nourishment. Each one offers unique benefits, and when combined, they can create a comprehensive support system for singles within the church.

Resource #1: Online Platforms for Connecting Singles

Online platforms are a game changer for singles ministries. Websites like Meetup make it easy to organize and find local events tailored to singles seeking to engage in church activities, discussions, or volunteer opportunities. Then there’s Facebook Groups, where you can create a safe space for singles within your church community to share, support, and grow together. Using these tools, you cut through the hassle and directly connect with people on a similar journey. It’s about leveraging technology to foster authentic, meaningful connections and ensuring everyone knows they have a spot in your church family.

Resource #2: Conferences and Retreats for Spiritual Growth

Conferences and retreats are like treasure maps for spiritual growth. They guide your singles ministry on journeys of faith, self-discovery, and community building. Picture this: a weekend retreat in the mountains or a day-long workshop in your church hall, packed with activities and sessions designed to deepen faith and foster connections among singles. These retreats often include guides for discussions, team-building games, prayer sessions, and growing in becoming a disciple of Jesus. They’re not just about talking; they’re about doing. Activities might range from group hikes to service projects, each crafted to echo the themes of spiritual growth and community service. The beauty of conferences and retreats lies in their plug-and-play nature. You don’t have to be a seasoned event planner or a spiritual guru to use them effectively. All you need is some organization and an open heart to guide your singles ministry in growth. They often come with adaptable materials, so you can tailor the experience to fit your group’s unique needs and interests.

Resource #3: Small Group Study Guides for Singles

Embrace the Table Study Guide is for all Singles and a powerhouse tool in singles ministry. Why? It’s because they create space for meaningful conversation and deeper connections. Think of these guides as your roadmap to exploring faith and life issues that hit close to home for single adults. They cover various topics – navigating relationships, personal growth, faith challenges, and financial wisdom. The beauty of these guides lies in their flexibility. You can tailor them to meet your group’s specific interests and needs. Plus, they encourage everyone to participate, ensuring all voices are heard. This not only builds a strong community but also fosters individual spiritual growth. So, if you’re looking to enrich your singles ministry, incorporating Small Group Study Guides is a smart move. They’re simple, effective, and can make a big difference in how your group connects and grows.

Resource #4: Community Service Project Ideas

Community service projects are a gold mine for singles ministry engagement. They offer a practical way to put faith into action while bonding with others. Here are a few ideas that can make a big impact: 1. Feeding the homeless – It’s simple. Gather your group, cook some meals, and distribute them in areas where the homeless gather. It’s an act of kindness that leaves a lasting impression on both the giver and the receiver. 2. Neighborhood clean-ups – Pick a spot that needs some TLC in your community. It could be a park, a beach, or a roadside. You can get your gloves on and get cleaning. It’s a great way to beautify your neighborhood and instill a sense of pride and ownership. 3. Tutoring underprivileged kids – Use your knowledge to empower the next generation. Whether it’s reading, math, science, or art, your skills can help children in need achieve their potential. 4. Elderly companionship – Loneliness can be a huge issue for older adults. A regular visit from a friendly face can make a world of difference in their lives. 5. Animal shelter assistance – If your group loves animals, why not spend some time at a local shelter? They always need help walking dogs, cleaning cages, and socializing pets. These projects help those in need and foster a strong sense of community and connection among your singles ministry members. Plus, it’s a hands-on way to show love and compassion, central tenets of many faiths.

Resource #5: Digital Communication Tools for Engagement

Digital communication tools are non-negotiable in today’s fast-paced world for keeping your singles ministry connected and engaged. Tools like social media platforms, email newsletters, and church apps bring everyone closer, even when physically apart. Social media, like Facebook or Instagram, is great for sharing updates, inspirations, and event photos. It keeps the vibe lively and the community tight. Email newsletters are more personal. They can directly carry detailed stories, upcoming events, or thoughtful reflections to each member’s inbox. Then, there’s the church app. This is your all-in-one hub. Think of it as the digital backbone of your ministry, where members can access sermons, Bible study materials, event calendars, and much more. These digital tools are not just optional but essential in weaving a tight-knit community that stays active and grows together.

How to Implement These Resources in Your Church

To effectively use these singles ministry resources in your church, you need a church ministry plan and a team willing to execute it. First, identify the needs of your single community. Are they seeking spiritual growth, social interaction, or service opportunities? Once you know what they need, match these needs to the resources available. For example, a resource offering in-depth study guides would be perfect if your singles are looking for deeper Bible study.

Next, communicate clearly . Make sure your church community knows about the resources you’re offering. Use your church’s newsletter, website, and social media to spread the word. Clarity ensures that those who need these resources know they’re available. Singles search for the word single, even though it does not define who they are. Clear communication to singles means using the word single.

Integration into existing programs can amplify their effectiveness. For example, if your church has a strong small group program, introducing singles-focused study materials into these groups can enhance their experience without creating separate programs.

Training leaders is crucial. The best resources won’t make an impact without passionate leaders guiding the process. Offer training sessions to ensure leaders understand how to use these resources best to engage and support single individuals in your church.

Finally, ask for feedback . After you’ve implemented these resources, check back with your community. What worked? What didn’t? Use this feedback to tweak your approach, ensuring your singles ministry remains vibrant and relevant.

Remember, a little effort goes a long way. With these steps, you can make sure your singles ministry resources are available and actively enriching the lives of single individuals in your congregation.

Measuring the Impact of Your Singles Ministry

To truly understand if your Singles Ministry is making waves, you’ve got to keep an eye on a few critical numbers and stories. First, check your attendance records. Are more folks showing up to events than before? This could mean you’re heading in the right direction. But don’t just count heads; ask for feedback. Find out if the events and discussions are hitting home. Are people feeling more connected? If the answer is yes, you’re on to something. Also, look out for stories of personal growth or relationships that have blossomed thanks to your ministry. These are the real gold. Finally, track volunteer numbers. An uptick in people wanting to help out is a clear signal your ministry is not just participating, but positively impacting your community. Remember, it’s not just about a program, but people. Keep it focused and keep it real.

Conclusion: Fostering a Welcoming Environment for Singles

In wrapping up, remember that making singles feel welcomed is more about how you engage than just having the right resources. Let’s break it down. First, be genuine. People can tell when you’re truly interested in them. Next, focus on inclusivity. Mix groups up, encourage diverse friendships. Don’t forget, listen more. Everyone has a story, show you’re there for theirs. Lastly, action speaks. Organize events that cater to all, not just couples or families. By sticking to these basics, you’re not just inviting singles; you’re embracing them as a vital part of your community. No big words or grand gestures needed, just genuine, open-hearted actions that speak volumes.

Christian Single Looking for Christian Singles Ministry or Group

Tue, 16 Apr 2024 12:23:00 GMT

Many Christian singles find themselves seeking community and connection, often looking for ministries or groups that cater to their unique needs. In this blog, we will explore the importance of Christian singles ministries, how to find them, and what you can gain from being part of such groups. Whether you’re new to the faith or just searching for a welcoming environment, this guide will help you find your place in the Christian community.

The Importance of Christian Singles Ministries

Christian singles ministries provide essential support and a sense of belonging for those navigating the complexities of single life within the Christian faith. These ministries are not just about socializing; they create a safe haven for individuals who seek to grow in their faith while forming lasting relationships. The spiritual journey of a single person can often feel isolating, and this is where community comes into play. In these ministries, members can share their experiences, fears, and joys, making the path less lonely.

In a world where individualism often reigns, being part of a Christian singles ministry reminds us that we are not alone. These communities provide encouragement and unity, illustrating that many others share similar struggles and aspirations. Whether it’s through Bible studies or fellowship events, the bonds formed within these groups can become significant sources of strength during trying times.

Moreover, Christian singles ministries often facilitate spiritual growth by offering opportunities for learning and service. Engaging in activities that deepen your understanding of scripture can be transformative. Members can help each other navigate questions of faith, encouraging deeper connections with God and guiding one another toward a richer spiritual experience. It’s not just about forming friendships; it’s about fostering faith-driven lives that reflect Christian values.

How to Find a Suitable Christian Singles Group

Searching for the right Christian singles group can be daunting. The vast array of options available may leave you wondering where to begin. First and foremost, consider reaching out to your local church. Many congregations have ministries specifically designed for singles, offering a welcoming environment for growth and fellowship. Engaging with staff or fellow members can yield fruitful recommendations and provide you with venues that feel right for you.

Additionally, take advantage of modern digital platforms. With social media being a significant part of our lives, it’s easier than ever to find groups that align with your interests and values. Websites and apps dedicated to connecting Christian singles can serve as helpful tools in your search. Through online interactions, you can gauge which groups resonate with your faith journey before attending in-person events.

Another practical step is to attend community events or conferences focused on faith and relationships. These gatherings can introduce you to various ministries and give you a preview of the community atmosphere. Networking with other singles at these events can often lead to insightful recommendations about groups that prioritize both friendship and spiritual development.

Activities and Events Offered in Christian Singles Ministries

Understanding what activities and events these ministries offer can help you determine which group might be the best fit for you. Many Christian singles groups hold regular social gatherings, which often consist of casual meet-ups, game nights, or potluck dinners. These serve as great icebreakers for new members and allow for a relaxed environment to foster friendships. Participating in these activities can make it easier to meet others who share similar interests and life experiences.

In addition to social events, many ministries organize Bible study sessions that cater specifically to singles. These sessions can provide deeper insight into scripture while encouraging open discussions about faith, relationships, and personal challenges. Furthermore, retreats and workshops often focus on personal growth in faith and relationships, allowing participants to connect on deeper spiritual levels amidst serene, reflective environments.

Volunteer opportunities also play a significant role in many Christian singles ministries. Serving together can strengthen bonds among group members while making a positive impact in the wider community. Whether partnering for charity events or engaging in church outreach activities, these experiences allow individuals to showcase their shared values and build lasting friendships based on mutual compassion and service.

Building Relationships and Community

One of the most rewarding aspects of joining a Christian singles ministry is the opportunity to build deep and meaningful relationships. Many individuals come to these groups not only in search of friendships but also with the hope of finding romantic connections. The supportive environment encourages members to engage authentically with one another, fostering an atmosphere where bonds can flourish without pressure. Many successful relationships begin with friendships formed in the warmth of these ministries.

The connections made within Christian singles groups often extend beyond mere acquaintance. Authentic friendships can turn into a profound support system. Attending church services, study groups, or social activities together can deepen ties and create a network of encouragement during personal struggles. Feeling understood and supported by peers who share your values and beliefs is invaluable.

Furthermore, these ministries often emphasize accountability in faith. Sharing personal goals and growth journeys can lead to a profound bond rooted in mutual encouragement. It fosters a mindset where members uplift one another, steering each other towards spiritual and personal goals while developing lifelong friendships in the process.

Navigating Challenges within Christian Singles Groups

While being part of a ministry can be fulfilling, there are challenges that may arise. Some may find themselves feeling out of place, especially if they are new attendees. It’s common to experience some nervousness when entering a group where everyone else seems to have established relationships. However, remember that many others may feel the same way. Taking small steps to engage and participate can swiftly turn feelings of uncertainty into confidence.

Another challenge that might arise is managing expectations. Members may come in with varying hopes about friendships or romantic connections, which could lead to disillusionment if those expectations are not met. It is important to approach the group with an open heart and mind, allowing time for relationships to develop naturally. Communication is key, and expressing your needs and boundaries is a healthy way to nurture connections while maintaining personal space.

Lastly, personal struggles can intersect our participation in these groups. Navigating life’s difficulties, be it through work, family, or personal health challenges, can sometimes inhibit involvement. However, many ministries strive to create an inclusive environment that welcomes all aspects of an individual’s life. Sharing your struggles with fellow members can open doors to support and understanding, helping you to continue on your journey of growth and connection despite the challenges.

Personal Testimonies: Stories from Christian Singles

Hearing from others who have walked the path of being a single Christian can provide inspiration and encouragement. Personal testimonies are powerful reminders of the journey many individuals share. In these stories, you may discover the initial doubts and fears that new members experience—echoing your own. These narratives can illuminate the ways in which Christian singles ministries offer not only friendship but life-altering experiences.

One individual may share how joining a ministry led to unexpected, fulfilling friendships that alleviated their feelings of solitude. Another might recount how the support from the group encouraged them to step out in faith, leading to newfound self-confidence and, ultimately, a meaningful relationship. Each story highlights the beauty of connection and the transformative power of community in navigating the journey of faith together.

Collectively, these testimonies illustrate that members are not alone on their path. The narratives of others who have found solace and support within their Christian singles ministries can inspire newcomers to embrace their journeys, knowing that they, too, can find the connection and community they desire. It’s a testament to the idea that, together, we can uplift one another through shared experience and faith.

Embrace Community and Connection

Finding a Christian singles ministry or group can be a transformative experience. It not only offers companionship but also strengthens your faith and inspires personal growth. By getting involved, you can build meaningful relationships and discover a community that shares your values and beliefs. So take that step forward and immerse yourself in the fellowship of other Christian singles who are on a similar journey.

The Impact of Christian Singles Conferences on Spiritual Growth

Thu, 14 Mar 2024 12:00:00 GMT

Christian singles conferences are more than just gatherings; they are transformative experiences that can significantly impact spiritual growth. Attendees often leave feeling rejuvenated, enlightened, and more connected to their faith. This blog will explore the various aspects of these conferences, from community building to personal development, and how they play a crucial role in fostering spiritual journeys for singles in the Christian community.

Understanding the Purpose of Christian Singles Conferences

Christian singles conferences are designed to provide a nurturing environment where individuals can explore their faith more deeply. These events focus on the needs of single adults, creating a unique space that recognizes their specific challenges and aspirations. Attendees often find solace in knowing they are not alone in their journey, which paves the way for meaningful discussions and connections.

Another fundamental purpose of these conferences is to foster spiritual growth through engaging sessions. Participants immerse themselves in workshops aimed at enhancing their understanding of Christian teachings. These learning opportunities often help individuals contemplate their life paths while reaffirming their faith. Overall, this journey of understanding is as transformative as it is enlightening.

Furthermore, the environment at a Christian singles conference promotes a sense of belonging. This sense of community is pivotal for individuals who may feel isolated in their daily lives. During these conferences, attendees bond over shared experiences, which cultivates lasting friendships that extend well beyond the conference itself.

Building a Community of Support

At the heart of every Christian singles conference lies the opportunity to cultivate friendships and establish a support network. Many attendees leave feeling as if they have found a second family. The shared goal of spiritual growth fosters connections that offer encouragement, accountability, and mutual understanding—a vital aspect of thriving in one’s faith journey.

By engaging in group activities, attendees become part of a community where every voice is heard and valued. Whether through small group discussions or larger gatherings for worship, the conferences create numerous opportunities for personal sharing. These interactions not only build camaraderie but also lay the groundwork for deepening relationships amongst participants who might face similar life challenges.

Moreover, the support system created at these conferences can have lasting benefits. After returning home, individuals often maintain connections through social media or follow-up gatherings, reinforcing the bonds formed during the conference. Many testimonies highlight how these relationships have provided a source of strength during difficult times, demonstrating the enduring impact of the community built at these events.

Spiritual Workshops and Empowerment

One of the standout features of Christian singles conferences is the variety of spiritual workshops available. These sessions not only cover topics related to faith but also address life skills that singles can employ to navigate their journeys more effectively. From discussions on finding purpose to exploring Christian relationships, these workshops empower attendees to take tangible steps in their spiritual growth.

Empowerment is a cornerstone of these workshops. By providing practical tools and insights, attendees can better understand their strengths and how to use them in service of their faith. Often, speakers share their own struggles and victories, inspiring participants to reflect on their lives and encouraging them to embrace their own unique paths.

Additionally, these workshops cultivate an environment of learning and reflection that sparks personal breakthroughs. Many participants report significant shifts in their mindsets, helping them face their fears and pursue deeper connections with God. The knowledge gained during these sessions often leads to transformative experiences that last well beyond the conference itself.

Ultimately, spiritual workshops at these conferences build confidence and encourage attendees to take ownership of their faith journeys. As individuals learn to articulate their beliefs and confront challenges with a tools-backed approach, they walk away not just empowered but ready to share their insights with others.

Worship and Prayer as Core Elements

Worship and prayer are integral to the experience of a Christian singles conference. These elements provide a grounding foundation for participants, allowing them to openly express their devotion and connect with God on a profound level. Sharing in communal worship is often regarded as one of the most uplifting parts of the conference, where participants feel an overwhelming sense of unity.

The moments spent in prayer—whether in silence or shared with others—create an atmosphere of reflection and healing. This element is especially impactful for singles who may carry burdens related to loneliness or uncertainty. The opportunity to pray with others allows attendees to release fears and find strength in their faith, and many attendees describe this as a pivotal moment in their conferences.

Moreover, worship sessions are specifically designed to be inclusive and inviting, encouraging everyone to participate regardless of their previous experience. Different styles of worship, including music and creative expressions, engage the hearts of attendees, making spiritual concepts more relatable. This down-to-earth approach often makes individuals feel more connected and open to receiving God’s love.

Participants frequently leave these worship sessions feeling spiritually rejuvenated, taking with them the essence of communal faith. The fusion of worship and prayer during these conferences emphasizes the importance of collective worship in a world that often fosters individualism.

Personal Testimonies: Stories of Transformation

Personal testimonies often serve as powerful reminders of God’s work in our lives during Christian singles conferences. Attendees are usually encouraged to share their own stories, which not only highlights individual transformations but also illustrates the collective journey of faith within the community. Hearing these accounts inspires participants to consider their own paths and the importance of sharing their experiences.

Many people arrive at these events feeling weighed down by their challenges. However, through hearing stories of hope, they begin to realize that transformation is possible. Participants often speak of how sharing their experiences fosters vulnerability, building trust among attendees and leading to numerous heartfelt conversations. This openness creates an atmosphere where faith can thrive and grow.

Additionally, personal testimonies encourage attendees to envision their futures more positively. When individuals share how they overcame obstacles through faith, it instills hope in those facing similar situations. Participants frequently find encouragement in the knowledge that they are surrounded by a community that both understands and supports them.

This act of storytelling extends beyond the conference, as many individuals feel called to share their experiences with their own communities. As a result, the ripple effect of these conferences spreads far and wide, bringing hope and inspiration to others who may need it.

Navigating Relationships in a Faith Community

Navigating relationships within a faith community presents its own unique complexities, and Christian singles conferences offer a supportive environment to explore these dynamics. Many attendees approach these events with a sense of curiosity and trepidation about forming connections. The good news is that these conferences are often tailored to address the subtle nuances of dating and friendships in a Christian context.

Workshops focusing on dating advice from a biblical perspective provide invaluable insights into pursuing healthy relationships. Conversations about setting boundaries, prioritizing emotional health, and cultivating mutual respect are common threads throughout these discussions. Participants leave feeling equipped with practical tools for approaching relationships in a faith-aligned manner.

Moreover, through their interactions at these conferences, many attendees find themselves forming deep friendships that can evolve into romantic relationships. The shared foundation of faith strengthens these budding connections, as participants build bonds that often transcend mere attraction. This foundation of shared values becomes essential in cultivating any relationship.

In this environment, singles learn to appreciate the importance of patience and prayer in navigating relationships. The lessons and discussions surrounding relationships at these conferences remind attendees that fostering connections in a faith community is not just about finding a partner; it’s about walking alongside fellow believers as they navigate life’s journey together.

The Long-Term Impact of Attending Conferences

The impact of attending a Christian singles conference often extends far beyond the immediate experience. Many participants report significant changes in their lives long after the event has concluded. By immersing themselves in a nurturing environment and engaging deeply with their faith, attendees frequently emerge with renewed clarity and purpose, setting them on a path towards lifelong growth.

Furthermore, the relationships forged at conferences often evolve into long-lasting friendships that provide ongoing support and encouragement. The community built during the event becomes a safety net for participants as they navigate life’s challenges. Many individuals have shared that these deep connections foster continuous spiritual discussions and gatherings that contribute to their ongoing journeys.

Additionally, the spiritual practices learned during the conference—be it the power of prayer or the importance of community—stay with attendees long after. Many individuals adopt regular routines that help them maintain the growth initiated at the conference. As they integrate these practices into their daily lives, they find themselves connecting with God in a more profound and fulfilling manner.

The lasting effects also include a redefined understanding of community in their local churches. Armed with the insights gained from the conference, attendees often feel empowered to contribute actively to their faith communities, leading initiatives or forming small groups that encourage others in their faith journeys. The impact continues to ripple outward, demonstrating how one transformative weekend can alter the trajectory of many lives.

Embracing the Journey of Growth

In conclusion, Christian singles conferences are powerful events that can lead to significant spiritual growth. Through community, worship, and personal reflection, individuals can deepen their relationship with God and build supportive networks with others on similar journeys. If you find yourself at a crossroads in your faith, consider attending one of these conferences—your spiritual growth journey might take a transformative turn.

Be A Single-Friendly Church: Engaging All Types of Singles

Fri, 01 Mar 2024 14:21:00 GMT

Learn how to be a single-friendly church: Engage all types of singles, foster inclusivity, and help everyone feel complete in Christ.

Navigating Singles Tax and the High Cost of Singleness in the US

Fri, 16 Feb 2024 13:23:00 GMT

The U.S. economic structure inadvertently penalizes those without a spouse, creating a high cost for singles to navigate their finances.

How to Start a Singles Ministry or Group

Fri, 16 Feb 2024 10:33:00 GMT

You are likely to know several singles in your church. Enlist their help as you pray towards God’s plan for starting a singles ministry. And when asked, “does your church have a singles group,” don’t answer with a simple no. Ask the person to pray with you. Go to the church staff and ask them to pray about it. Talk to your Sunday class about your desire to see singles gathered and request they pray about it also.

Find others with enthusiasm and willingness for the long haul. Ask for a commitment. Ask for input. Delegate tasks as the core group steps into leadership roles.

Communicate, communicate, communicate. The core group not only needs a plan, they need clear goals and deadlines for the steps to form an active group of singles with a heart for Christ.

Start with a big bang but have events in place beyond the first call to singles. When there is momentum, you don’t want to lose individuals by saying, “we’ll let you know what’s next.” Instead have a second and perhaps third event already in the works from the core group. Then share those details at the initial singles group gathering. For every social event plan a missions event and weekday Bible Study opportunity. Keep in mind you will offer more than people will attend, but opportunities spur growth.

Move forward, seek out new ideas, keep praying and make certain established members of the group welcome new members with an open heart. Remind the group how difficult it can be to enter a room and not know anyone. And, when someone shows up for a second time, make them part of the group by assigning even a small task.

A Guide to Finding Community and Support for Single Mothers

Mon, 12 Feb 2024 11:31:00 GMT

Being a single mother can often feel isolating, but you don’t have to navigate this journey alone. Finding community and support is essential for your well-being, and there are numerous resources available to help you connect with others who understand your experiences. In this guide, we will explore the various avenues through which single mothers can find support and build a strong community.

Understanding the Importance of Community for Single Mothers

Community plays a vital role in the lives of single mothers, providing not just emotional support but also a sense of belonging. It is crucial for single mothers to surround themselves with people who understand the struggles they face. This can alleviate feelings of isolation and stress that often come with raising children alone. Knowing there are others who share similar experiences can foster resilience and encourage personal growth.

When single mothers come together, they can exchange wisdom, share resources, and uplift one another. Community creates a network of support where advice can be freely offered and received. Whether it’s dealing with the challenges of parenting, managing finances, or balancing work-life responsibilities, a strong community can be a valuable lifeline.

Moreover, being a part of a community encourages self-discovery and confidence. Engaging with others allows single mothers to share their stories, reaffirm their identities, and thrive despite the difficulties they face. Establishing a deep-rooted connection with others can empower single mothers to navigate their journey more effectively.

Exploring Local Resources for Single Mothers

Local resources can be a treasure chest for single mothers striving for connection and support. Community centers often provide programs specifically designed for single parents. These can range from parenting classes to social events, helping mothers to bond and share their experiences in a welcoming environment. By participating in these programs, single mothers can find not just friendship but practical advice that can be transformative.

In addition to community centers, local support groups offer a platform for single mothers to gather regularly. These groups typically feature activities such as group discussions, child-friendly events, and even resource-sharing sessions. Such environments promote open communication, allowing mothers to voice their challenges while receiving constructive feedback from others who have walked similar paths.

Libraries and local nonprofits also provide resources tailored for single mothers, such as legal assistance, financial advising, and job training. By taking advantage of these resources, single mothers can enhance their skills and improve their situations. It’s about not just seeking help but also actively participating in resources that enable further personal and professional growth.

Online Support Groups and Forums

The digital age has opened up a new frontier for support, allowing single mothers to connect with others from the comfort of their homes. Online support groups and forums can provide an excellent platform for sharing experiences, seeking advice, and forming friendships. The anonymity offered by these platforms can encourage more vulnerable conversations about the challenges of being a single parent.

Additionally, many communities have created specific Facebook groups or websites dedicated to single mothers. These groups can serve as a wellspring of information, where mothers can ask questions, share successes, and lean on one another for emotional support. It’s inspiring to read about others overcoming similar obstacles, and this sense of shared experience can be undeniably uplifting.

Furthermore, many online resources provide expert-led webinars and virtual meetings that focus on relevant topics such as mental health, parenting strategies, and self-care for single mothers. Engaging in these online events can significantly enhance their understanding while also providing a live community experience, making it feel less isolating.

Building Connections Through Parenting Classes

Parenting classes can be an excellent opportunity for single mothers to connect with others who are experiencing similar challenges. By engaging in structured educational settings, mothers can learn not only parenting skills but also form lasting friendships. Many of these settings encourage group discussions, allowing for the sharing of personal tales and tips.

These classes typically cover a wide range of topics, from child development to health and wellness, catering to various stages of parenting. Interacting with others while learning can lessen feelings of anxiety and create a strong support system. The best part is that many organizations offer these classes at little to no cost, ensuring they are accessible to all single mothers.

In addition, local hospitals and community health organizations often facilitate parenting workshops that focus on specific challenges faced by single mothers. These interactive sessions not only provide practical skills but also foster a sense of camaraderie among participants, enabling mothers to share their journeys and support one another.

Finding Supportive Organizations and Charities

Various organizations and charities exist to support single mothers, recognizing their unique challenges. These organizations range from those providing financial aid to those offering emotional support and resources for career advancement. Many local charities specialize in helping single mothers navigate the complexities of life while caring for their children.

Examples include food banks that offer assistance with basic needs, shelters that provide safe housing, and mentorship programs aimed at helping single mothers succeed. By seeking out these organizations, single mothers can access critical resources needed to improve their quality of life while also fostering connections. Often, these programs encourage participation, inviting mothers to become involved and give back to the community.

Moreover, attending events hosted by these organizations can significantly expand a mother’s network. They often provide workshops, networking opportunities, and social gatherings that allow single mothers to meet each other while learning valuable skills that contribute to personal and professional growth.

The Role of Social Media in Connecting with Other Mothers

Social media has revolutionized the way single mothers connect and share their experiences. Platforms such as Instagram and Twitter allow mothers to form communities that transcend geographical boundaries, connecting them with others who share similar experiences. Through posts, hashtags, and private groups, mothers can find a vibrant online support network.

Following parenting influencers and joining relevant social media groups can be particularly beneficial. These platforms offer a constant source of encouragement, positivity, and relatable content, which can be crucial for single mothers who may often feel overwhelmed. Engaging with uplifting content can serve as an excellent reminder that they are not alone.

Additionally, social media allows for real-time support during challenging moments. Whether it’s seeking advice on parenting dilemmas or needing a listening ear, having a community online makes it possible for mothers to find help quickly, reducing feelings of helplessness. It’s a modern solution to ancient struggles, bringing mothers together, even if they are miles apart.

Creating Your Own Community Initiatives

For single mothers, taking the initiative to create their own community initiatives can be incredibly empowering. If there’s a lack of resources or groups in the immediate area, starting a new initiative can fill that gap. Whether it’s organizing playdates, fitness clubs, or support circles, single mothers can spearhead efforts that cater specifically to their needs.

Hosting regular meetings or events can foster connections among local single mothers. For instance, forming a book club where mothers can gather to discuss literature while their children play can create a dual benefit of relaxation and socializing. Additionally, these gatherings can provide a sense of continuity and support, making it easier to forge deeper relationships.

Furthermore, leveraging local businesses for collaborations can enhance community efforts. Partnering with local gyms or cafes for events can lead to exciting programs that engage both mothers and children. Not only does this give single mothers a platform to connect, but it also raises awareness within the community about the unique needs and strengths of single parents.

Embracing Your Community as a Single Mother

Embracing the community and support available to single mothers can make a significant difference in your life. Remember, you’re not alone on this journey; there are many individuals and organizations eager to help you thrive and celebrate your unique experiences. Take the first step today toward building a supportive network, and enjoy the journey ahead.

Defeating Loneliness: Unveiling the Struggle for Genuine Connections

Sun, 11 Feb 2024 12:57:00 GMT

Why do I feel so lonely? These words resonate in the hearts of not only singles but all Americans. 58% of all adults are considered lonely, and minorities are at an even higher risk, with 75% of Hispanics and 68% of African American adults responding as lonely.[1] Our feelings of loneliness impact mental health, and we all process that differently. It can depend on our temperament and the cultural environment we were raised in. Still, what we choose to medicate or address loneliness is even more concerning. Here are some ways to have different perspectives on loneliness.

People don’t fix loneliness

“No one stood by me the first time I defended myself; all deserted me. … But the Lord stayed with me and gave me strength.”- 2 Timothy 4:16 . We think people will fix our loneliness, but they won’t. No power on this earth will bring comfort beyond understanding (Philippians 4:6). When we seek people to fill our loneliness void, we are like the woman at the well whose thirst was never quenched until she encountered Jesus.

Loneliness is a reminder to draw near

That feeling of desperation, anxiety, emptiness and emotional exhaustion is not for nothing. “ Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest ” Matthew 11:28 . If we never had loneliness, then we would never feel when we are closer to God and complete. What we learn along the way in life is that things don’t ever fill this void. Houses, cars, pretty spaces, toys, technology, money, and even people. Through these experiences of temporary feelings, we can only come to value the wholeness found in accepting Christ.

Be Complete in Christ

“you are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power.” Colossians 2:10 . This is a phrase we at Table for One Ministries value profoundly and have seen resonate in the hearts of singles. As a single adult, feeling emotional, physically, and spiritually alone is easier. It can even be a primary driver of reasons to be around people, places, and things to avoid being alone. But being alone is an asset, not a liability. When we see the light in our darkest moments is when we know what truly completes us.

Jesus embraced His loneliness

100% man and 100% God and sinless savior , Jesus often knew what it felt like to be lonely. He was isolated for 40 days, tempted in the desert with no human interaction. He did not sin in His loneliness. In Mark 1, Jesus often stayed outside towns in the “lonely” places, and it was there that He would often pray (Luke 5:16). In Matthew 15:34, Jesus cried out from the cross, “My God, why have you forsaken me?” His loneliness on the cross made an atonement for the world’s sins. He sinlessly embraced loneliness for our ability to join Him in heaven for eternity.

You don’t have to be alone in your loneliness

Loneliness can have a purpose and a meaningful impact on your life and others if we allow it to. You were not made to be alone in the garden or in life, which doesn’t mean marriage “fixes” loneliness. We were made for community and to struggle alongside one another to be refined in the image of Jesus. You are never alone when you have Jesus in your life . Embrace aspects of your loneliness to draw near to the Lord, and seek wise counsel when your loneliness feelings are darker than moments and turn into a season. Maybe if we pray for purpose in our loneliness instead of praying it away, we will see God’s fullness in our lives to live on mission for Him.

See loneliness as a way to share God’s love

The statistics are clear, people are struggling with loneliness all around us. So how will we be the light that shines into the darkness to share the message of Jesus? 1 John 4 instructs us that for others to see God’s love, we have to be His love to others. That love is based on 1 Corinthians 13 and the product of the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23. As Christ’s followers, we must reach beyond our circle of friends, family, and neighbors to engage all the world with the love of Christ.

[1] https://newsroom.cigna.com/loneliness-epidemic-persists-post-pandemic-look

The “Friend Zone”

Thu, 25 Jan 2024 12:00:00 GMT

No one is happy.

The ladies say the guys won’t ask them out.

The guys say the ladies stay in their social circles and won’t come out. No one is on anyone’s romantic radar.

Welcome to the Friend Zone. It’s a place that single adults find themselves at almost every church event. Sure, there are people that blast through the friend zone and find their mate through church, but more and more singles are frustrated by the “dating within the one place it’s best” to find a spouse.

So how does it happen? How can so many eligible people, with similar beliefs and values, AND the desire to date, be around each other for so long without ever developing relationships?

It’s simple and complex all at the same time.

First, let’s address it from the guy’s perspective. Guys want to pursue dating relationships with the girls. They want to find “her”. Despite what the ladies think, they are not scared of girls. That’s the simple part.

It gets complex from there. There is a dating shelf life in any singles group. Guys can only ask out a certain number of girls before they are branded a “player” in the singles group. And that’s the best thing they can be branded. The other brand is much more damaging. “Creepy”. Creepy guys are done…finished. They are the ones that girls warn other girls about before they even darken the door.

For the guys, they spend their entire time trying to figure out which girl they should pursue and how they will be branded by the group based on their actions. If a guy messes this up and is viewed poorly by the girls he is damaged. Sometimes irreparably.

From the ladies perspective, they aren’t going to pursue the guy. And they shouldn’t have to. Many of them are interested in dating, but unfortunately their pool of selection is small. Male leadership in the church is lacking at all ages and they aren’t going to waste their time with guys that won’t step up and show spiritual leadership within their group.

And why should the ladies waste their time? If these guys can’t step up in leadership in the church, how will they ever do it in the home? Showing boldness, in the minds of the ladies, begins with stepping up and asking them out.

So we find ourselves in the friend zone. We find ourselves in a place where guys won’t pull the trigger on asking a girl out because he’s afraid he’s going to get blackballed, or because another guy has called “dibs” on asking a girl out. And we find the ladies frustrated because of the lack of real mature men that want to not only ask them out, but more importantly the lack of men that are serious about their spiritual life. We end up having large singles groups of people that aren’t dating but hang out all the time as friends. They will then refuse to move into a dating relationship with someone in their group because “it’s just too weird” or “I don’t want to mess up our friendship” or “I think of him/her like a sibling”.

Breaking out of this is going to be tough, but here’s how we do it.

Guys, step it up. First, focus on your spiritual life. You don’t have to stop dating to do this. It’s a journey and you’ll never reach perfection. Don’t wait on perfection. Second, find the ONE girl that is special to you. Be a man and ask her out.

Ladies, give the guys a chance. Don’t gossip with your girlfriends about the guys and do everything in your power not to “brand” the ones that are genuinely trying.

It’s a two way street.

Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged: A Christian Perspective

Wed, 10 Jan 2024 21:30:00 GMT

Engagement is not the goal—it’s the beginning of a journey toward marriage. The questions to ask before you get engaged are just as important as being engaged.

Connecting Singles During the Holidays: Importance & Solutions

Wed, 22 Nov 2023 17:45:00 GMT

The holidays can be a somber time for older single adults, underscoring the importance of connecting singles during the holidays. It is logical then to see when time marches on, things change, and those who are dear to us pass on. For singles, this can create a situation they never saw coming. In this context, the significance of connecting singles during the holidays becomes increasingly apparent.

It is just me this Christmas.

Small families have some amazing abilities to do more with everyone since there are less people to logistically connect with. This also means less siblings, if any, and for most singles, one Christmas day they find themselves the last of their family. We know this sounds extreme, but for one single adult this was exactly what happened.

Robert was an only child. He had dated a few times but never really found a person that shared reciprocal interest in marriage. Holidays were spent with mom and dad at his house. In the span of three years, both parents had passed to be with the Lord and then it happened.

Robert was alone for Christmas. Years of traditions with family are gone and his extended family were too far away to travel to see them.

Where was the Framily connecting singles during the holidays?

Robert was active in his church and had several friends. Many were close as family, they were framily (friends considered family). But they all forgot that he was a single child and both his parents had passed away. His close network of friends forgot to reach out. In all fairness, Robert also failed to reach out and seek a place to go to on Christmas Day. But, he also didn’t prepare to spend it alone.

We Have to Pay Attention to connect singles.

It’s imperative for singles, leaders, and all readers of this blog to recognize the importance of connecting singles during the holidays. In this case, Robert may had forgotten he was going to be alone for Christmas due to the busyness of the holiday season. Robert may have wanted to spend the day alone, which would be fine. But, the issue is that everyone lost sight of their single adult friend and where he was going to spend Christmas.

Churches Need to Connect Singles.

Church, however you connect singles you need to make it a priority. Singles like this one and others make up nearly half of all adults in America and as more and more adults age without a spouse, this number and scenario is going to increase. Churches need to have a focus on connecting singles in whatever discipleship strategy they have to minister to singles all year. Some will still fall through the net you build to catch singles, but your strategy to reach them will connect more than it misses.

Being alone for Christmas does not have to be the saddest thing ever. This blog was not out to say everyone needs to be with people on Christmas. This blog is an attempt to shine light into an area of need for the Church to connect singles at some of their most critical life moments and for the Church to reflect Christ in those times.

How does your church reach single adults? Do they do a good job trying to connect singles? Anything done to ensure the lone single is included during the holidays?

3 Things to Remember for Singles at Friendsgiving

Sat, 04 Nov 2023 12:15:00 GMT

For singles, their Friendsgiving may be the only holiday gathering they attend or invite others to. Singles are now 53% of the adult population in America. When we use the term family at the holidays, we often negate single-parent families that comprise over 40% of all families in America. If you want an intentional Friendsgiving this year, here are some things to remember so everyone is invited and welcomed!

Who Are Singles? 8 Types of Singles in Your Community

Fri, 06 Oct 2023 11:02:00 GMT

Singles are unique. Singles come from many backgrounds; most would even prefer not to use the word single to describe themselves.

The Role of Spiritual Singles in the Church: Perspectives and Opportunities

Sat, 09 Sep 2023 11:35:00 GMT

Introduction: Understanding Spiritual Singles in the Church Context

Spiritual Singles: Who Are They?

Spiritual singles are individuals within the church who focus deeply on their personal spiritual journey, often prioritizing growth, mindfulness, and a connection to a higher purpose. Unlike their counterparts who might be focused on family or traditional roles within the church community, spiritual singles often seek to explore and express their faith in unique ways. Their approach to spirituality is individualistic, yet it doesn’t mean they are isolated. They actively participate in church activities and community service, applying their personal spiritual insights to contribute meaningfully. This demographic includes both those who have chosen to stay single and those who are single by circumstance, but their common ground is their dedication to spiritual enrichment and understanding.

The Unique Challenges Faced by Spiritual Singles

Spiritual singles in the church navigate a unique set of challenges. Often, they find themselves in a spot where their single status is misunderstood, leading to feelings of isolation within their faith communities. Many churches, focused on family and marital relationships, unintentionally overlook the contributions and needs of single individuals. This oversight can make spiritual singles feel less valued, pushing the narrative that one’s spiritual journey must be tied with marriage or family life. Also, spiritual singles might struggle with finding their place in ministry activities often designed for couples or families, limiting their engagement and spiritual growth opportunities. Furthermore, the pressure to find a partner within the church can compound the issue, making it harder for singles to focus solely on their personal spiritual journey. Being aware of these challenges is the first step in creating a more inclusive and supportive environment for all members.

The Importance of Spiritual Singles in the Church Family

Spiritual singles hold a unique and vital role in the church family. They bring diverse perspectives, talents, and gifts that enrich the congregation. Their flexibility and availability often mean they can take on roles and tasks that might be more challenging for those with family obligations. These individuals can dedicate more time to service, mission work, and leadership roles, making them invaluable in spreading the faith and assisting in church activities. Their presence also highlights the importance of inclusivity, reminding the church that being part of a family doesn’t just mean the traditional household setup. Through their involvement, spiritual singles offer a model of Christian living that emphasizes personal faith development and community contribution over marital status. Understanding and supporting their contributions can lead to a more vibrant, dynamic, and effective church body, where every member, regardless of their life stage, feels valued and has a place.

Opportunities for Spiritual Singles to Contribute

Spiritual singles bring unique opportunities to our church communities. They can dive deep into volunteer work, mentorship programs, and mission trips with a flexibility that is often harder for those with family obligations. Singles can focus their energy and time, making a strong impact in areas that need intense dedication. They are also key in leading youth and singles ministries, offering perspectives and experiences that resonate with those in similar life stages. Furthermore, their involvement in prayer groups, community outreach, and church leadership positions adds vital diversity to our faith communities. In essence, spiritual singles enrich our congregations by fostering a sense of inclusivity and showing that every member, regardless of marital status, holds indispensable worth in our collective spiritual journey.

Building Meaningful Relationships: How the Church Can Support Spiritual Singles

Church communities have a unique chance to support spiritual singles, helping them forge significant connections that go beyond Sunday services. It’s not just about setting up events but creating environments where singles feel valued and understood. Encouraging group activities that emphasize shared values and interests can lay the foundation for these meaningful relationships. Think book clubs, volunteering opportunities, or small discussion groups that allow for deeper conversations.

Leaders should also remember the power of inclusivity. It means making sure sermons and church-led discussions touch on topics relevant to single members, showing that their experiences matter. Moreover, mentorship programs can offer singles guidance on navigating life while staying true to their faith, providing both spiritual and practical support.

Finally, fostering a welcoming atmosphere is key. Let’s face it; walking into a room where you feel like the odd one out isn’t fun. So, ensuring that church events and groups are open to everyone, regardless of marital status, can help singles feel more at home.

Supporting spiritual singles isn’t about matchmaking or finding everyone a partner. Rather, it’s about recognizing their value in the church community and helping them build relationships that enrich their spiritual journey.

Spiritual Growth: Navigating Faith as a Single

In church, being single isn’t just a status; it’s a chance for deeper spiritual growth. Here’s the thing: when you’re solo, you’ve got this unique space to focus on your relationship with faith without many of the distractions that can come from being in a partnership. It’s not about waiting around for something to happen in your life, but seizing the opportunity to explore what really matters to you on a spiritual level.

First off, singles can dive into their faith with more freedom. Less family obligations mean you can spend more time in prayer, meditation, or whatever form of spiritual reflection works for you. This isn’t just about ticking a box; it’s about forming a genuine, deep connection with your beliefs.

Secondly, being single opens up the doors to serve. Many find that they’re able to commit more fully to volunteer opportunities, missions trips, or church activities. It’s not just about filling time; it’s about making a tangible difference in your community and beyond, driven by your spiritual convictions.

And let’s talk growth. Navigating faith as a single isn’t a solo journey. It’s about building relationships within the church, finding mentors, and maybe even guiding others. It’s a two-way street of giving and receiving support that can lead to significant personal and spiritual development.

Remember, being single in the church isn’t a holding pattern; it’s a dynamic runway for spiritual exploration and growth. It’s about embracing where you are right now and using this time to deepen your faith in ways that might not be as accessible otherwise.

Engaging Spiritual Singles in Ministry and Service

Churches often overlook spiritual singles, yet they offer unique perspectives and energies in ministry and service. Instead of sidelining them, embracing and engaging spiritual singles can revitalize church programs and outreach efforts. First , recognize that spiritual singles are not a monolithic group; they have diverse gifts and passions. Second , create opportunities that utilize these unique talents. Whether it’s leading a youth group, participating in mission trips, or driving community service projects, there’s a place for everyone’s contribution. Finally , involve them in decision-making processes. This inclusion not only empowers spiritual singles but also enriches the church’s approach to meeting community needs. By valuing and integrating spiritual singles into the fabric of church activities, we build a more vibrant and inclusive community. Remember, it’s about creating a space where everyone feels valued and has the opportunity to serve.

The Role of the Church in Embracing and Valuing Singles

The church plays a crucial role in uplifting and recognizing the value of singles in its community. It’s not just about marriage sermons or family events. The church should be a place where every individual, married or single, feels equally valued and finds their purpose. It’s about creating spaces where singles can serve, lead, and grow without feeling sidelined or overlooked. The church can foster this by promoting inclusivity in all activities, emphasizing the unique contributions singles bring to the table. This includes recognizing their flexibility, often more available time for service and missions, and the diverse perspectives they offer, enriching the church’s understanding and outreach. Furthermore, the church should actively counter the stigma that singles are in a ‘waiting phase’ for marriage, instead highlighting their current value and capability. By doing this, the church not only supports its single members but also strengthens its community, making it a more vibrant, diverse, and effective body.

Conclusion: Moving Forward Together

As we’ve seen, spiritual singles have a unique and valuable role in the church. They’re not bound by the same responsibilities as those with families, giving them flexibility and time to invest in various church activities and missions. Here’s how the church and spiritual singles can move forward together: First, the church can actively create spaces for singles to contribute their talents and skills, recognizing their contributions just as much as those of families. This includes leadership roles or missions that might be more challenging for those with children. Second, spiritual singles should feel encouraged to seek out and embrace these opportunities, bringing their full selves to their church communities. By doing so, they not only enrich their lives but also those around them, fostering a diverse and vibrant church community. Lastly, it’s essential for everyone in the church to remember that every member, single or not, is a vital part of the church body. Together, harnessing the unique strengths and perspectives of each member, the church can grow stronger and more inclusive. Moving forward together means embracing this diversity as a gift, allowing it to guide us into a future where every individual is celebrated and utilized for their unique contributions to the church’s mission.

Time Management Tips for New Single Mothers

Mon, 21 Aug 2023 12:11:00 GMT

Becoming a single mother can be an overwhelming experience, filled with new responsibilities and time constraints. However, effective time management strategies can create a more balanced and fulfilling life.

Starting Out as a New Singles Minister

Mon, 19 Jun 2023 03:52:00 GMT

I signed up to serve the Lord no matter where He lead me, little did I know serving singles would help me become just who the Lord wanted me to be.

Will God Still Love Me After an Abortion?

Tue, 28 Feb 2023 11:10:00 GMT

She’s in your ministry. She’s had an abortion. She wonders, will God love her again? As believers, we are passionate about saving the unborn, but that passion fails to communicate our love for the mothers. The good news is that in the last two decades, there has been a substantial drop in abortions. The other news is people have had or still choose to have abortions, and the church needs to be ready to minister to these women.

According to the CDC, almost 50% of all abortions happen when women are in their 20’s. So while those who’ve done this could be older, the chances are as a singles ministry, you know, women in their 20s who’ve aborted a child. How will you minister to her? Have you stopped to think about what kind of language people use about abortions in your ministry? Would a girl who has had an abortion be welcomed in your group?

“No one has seen God at any time. God abides in us if we love one another, and His love has been perfected in us.” 1 John 4:12

To the singles ministry looking to reach those who have had abortions, remember the love, not judgment, you show should reflect God.

To the female reading this who has had an abortion: God is love. He loves you. No matter the sin, affliction, temptations, and horrible thoughts, we do. He. Loves. You. Be Complete in Christ.

Starting Out as a New Singles Minister

Wed, 15 Feb 2023 13:24:00 GMT

Starting as a new Single Adult Minister, I have learned so many wonderful things through the Lord. Still, these three are probably the most important I have learned:

We live in a world that pushes fleshly desires and what society thinks is important.

If you watch television or scroll through social media, you see a lot of selfishness and flesh desires. You know, a lot of sex propaganda, marriage prioritization, and finding what’s “true for you.” We live in a “nuclear family” society that pushes marriage and children as the goal of an adult’s life when that cannot be further from the truth. We live in a society that tells you to find out what’s “true for you” and how you can help yourself with self-help books. We live in a society that pushes marriage and that if you are not married, people act as if something is wrong with you. They immediately try to list people they know that they could set you up with, trying to push marriage and/or dating relationships on you.

Single Adults in the church can often fall through the cracks.

As unintentional as it may be, the local church can also subliminally push the same things as society does regarding marriage. As a local church, we love marriage retreats or conferences, marriage Sunday school classes (or small groups), focusing on outreach to families, and sermons based around marriage. All these things are beautiful things that the church should do, but we also need the flip side. As a local church, we need conferences or retreats for single adults. Single adults Sunday school classes (or small groups), a focus on reaching out to the single adults in our community.

Lastly, we need sermon illustrations that do not put someone who is not married. When we do not focus on reaching single adults, we often find ourselves putting single adults in a state of limbo where they are cast aside or forgotten. We unintentionally leave them out of events promoted at the church, ultimately making them feel unwelcome. It is crucial to building a community of believers where single adults can feel welcome and not feel alone in the body of Christ.

The Lord is Sovereign.

As a single adult minister, I have learned that despite what the world and society portray and fail as followers of Christ, the Lord is Sovereign and is who we must lean on Him. Despite the world, we have hope and joy in our Savior, Jesus Christ. Three verses that come to mind in The Word that talks about what the Lord has done for us are these three:

Our life and purpose is found in Jesus Christ and in Him alone. Once we have salvation through Him, we have a mission given to us by Him called the Great Commission which can be found in Matthew 28:19-20. It says, “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” We know that our life will not be fulfilled by marriage, fleshly desires, self-help, and anything else we try to tell ourselves would complete us. Instead, we know that we are fulfilled through the Lord and salvation in Him and how we are then to go and spread this excellent news to others.

As a single adult minister, I have learned that no matter where we are in life or what is going on in our life, our life has no meaning without Christ. But, in Christ, our life is full of hope and joy as we worship Him daily.

How to Divorce-Proof Your Marriage: Embracing Completeness in Christ

Mon, 28 Nov 2022 10:27:00 GMT

Singles you may or may not be married some day. At Table for One Ministries, we often include in our blogs the idea of being Complete in Christ for singles. But being Complete in Christ is not just for singles. It is for all adults. If you one day are called to marriage, remember this tip to help divorce-proof your marriage:

Be Complete in Christ!

That’s right. Being Complete in Christ and not in a relationship with another person is a big key to helping your potential marriage be divorce-proof marriage for a few reasons:

Christ will be the head of your marriage

Communication will be better

Priorities will be clearer

You will be drawn close together

All of these are easier said than done, however when both people enter into a union where they are a whole person prior to marriage, they are complete in the one who made them not the one who married them.

Singles, we have all seen couples who marry and still lack happiness and chase other things of the world. It is our belief that you should be Complete; no, not because it will help you be married, but because it is God’s plan for your life.

Hospitality: Limiting Guests at Holidays Limits God’s Kingdom

Fri, 18 Nov 2022 22:32:00 GMT

Matthew 9:10-13 tells us that Jesus gives the perfect example of hospitality as He welcomes many tax collectors and sinners to dine with Him and His disciples. “Then it happened that as Jesus was reclining at the table in the house, behold, many tax collectors and sinners came and were dining with Jesus and His disciples (NASB).” This passage illustrates Jesus’ inclusive approach to dining, showcasing the transformative power of hospitality in fostering connection and acceptance.

Jesus sometimes dined in the homes of brothers and sisters in Christ, showcasing the importance of hospitality. Six days before Passover, Jesus ate with Mary, Martha, and Lazarus in a house that was not His. But in Luke 14:12-14 , Jesus instructs:

His instructions expressly point to inviting strangers to dine with us.

Although following these instructions is not the norm during the holidays, practicing hospitality may take us out of our comfort zones. The rewards we reap from practicing hospitality will be earthly, and, more importantly, Kingdom rewards may be found. Since the Believer’s mission is to share Jesus, embracing hospitality through a casual dining experience lends itself to getting to know a stranger, establishing trust, and allowing an opportunity to share Jesus. Sometimes the conversation is opened to the chance during the first dinner. Often it takes several meals where you may feel led to share Jesus. With consistent prayer and effort, God will open the door, and you will be able to discern the time to do so.

Jesus even took the time to dine with those others considered His enemy. In Luke 7:36 , we are told, “Now one of the Pharisees was requesting Him to dine with him, and He entered the Pharisee’s house and reclined at the table (NASB).” Jesus didn’t hesitate. He didn’t consider the thoughts of others.

Even if the first meal with an acquaintance doesn’t seem like the opportunity to share your testimony, your actions and words, including prayer before the meal, can serve as an example and open conversation. Your new friend may ask, “Why do you pray?” or “Do you pray before every meal?” The most straightforward action may open the door for a stranger to become a brother and sister in Christ.

Singles Struggling with a Desire for Intimacy

Wed, 16 Nov 2022 16:39:00 GMT

As single adults, sometimes we can feel like we’re missing out on a big perk of a romantic relationship or or the intimacy it offers.

No matter your situation, if you are a single adult who desires intimacy, you are not alone in your search for meaningful connections and intimacy. There is hope! We know there is hope through a relationship with God because he tells us so. Isaiah 43:1 mentions, “Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine.” No matter what situation you are in or facing, God loves you and claims you as his.

1 Corinthians 10:13 states the temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. Just having someone to relate to can make a difference!

Ephesians 5:3 says, “Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God’s people.” You are one of God’s people, and you are better than what the world calls normal and are called to a higher standard.

Picture it, Eve, in the Garden of Eden. God gave life, a garden, beautiful trees filled with delicious fruit, and rivers surrounding gold and incense. Animals that walked around the garden and flew above the trees. God gave purpose, freedom, empathy, peace, and, most of them all, an open relationship with him.

In Genesis 3, Eve conversed with the serpent, and he utilized her vulnerability to exploit her desire for intimacy:

Genesis 3:6 states that Eve was convinced. So she took some of the fruit and ate it. Eve forgot all at once about all she did have and all that God gave.

So when you feel lonely, tempted, or just plain ole discouraged, remember your relationship with God and all he allowed you to have and do. I’ve adopted the attitude of Emily Heller ( emilysquotes.com ). She says,

I am 40 and Still Single

Thu, 25 Aug 2022 10:51:00 GMT

I am 40 and still single. Live Beyond the What-if Life.

I didn’t want this for my life. I wanted kids in middle school or high school at this point. Just like all my peers. And, I find myself renting, fearful to buy a home in case I find someone and have to move again. What if the right person came along this week? We might be married in a few months and have a family going within a year or so, giving me the life I want. Or what if I change my church? Maybe there will be someone for me somewhere else. God understands I want to be married so it would be okay to move churches for that reason, right? What if I never find a mate and this life of singleness is it?

Do you live your life thinking “someday?” Are you living a “what-if” life?

For adult singles, it is often a challenge not to play the what-if game. Constantly re-evaluating all the angles for how a mate could appear tomorrow and change everything. At Table for One Ministries, we understand many people want to be married and the life of being single is not glamorized by anyone these days. By the time singles are over 35, they are often asked, “Why haven’t you married?”

Singles, Table for One Ministries feels your pain and hears your groans. We understand.

However, playing the what-if game is not the human role to play. Psalm 37:4 tells us our heavenly Father loves us and knows the desires of our hearts. He also knows the path ahead and will reward you for your faithfulness according to Job 23:10.

At Table For One, we often say, “Be complete in Christ.” Nothing else will fill your heart, give you true love in this world, and give you contentment with your circumstances. Yes, it’s okay to feel pain and sorrow for things you want or once wanted, but as John 14:15 instructs Believers, the majority of our time should be focused on honoring God everyday to the best of our ability in our current situation.

Don’t live in the what-ifs when the better choice is God’s plan. Seeking that plan could take days, weeks, months, or years but it is worth going after to be in His direction for your life.

Four Things the Single Parent Needs from the Church

Sat, 20 Aug 2022 15:44:00 GMT

Single parenting! I remember those days well! When I entered into this stage in my life I had just left the military but little did I realize I was entering into an even bigger challenge. One that would demand more physical and mental stamina than my Drill Sergeants had demanded from me.

My daily routine consisted of getting not only myself, but the kids, out of bed and ready for the day. I’d get them to the babysitter or school, then off to work I’d go. After work it was time to pick up the kids from the babysitter, arrive home, fix dinner, clean the house, help with homework, bathe the kids, then sit down to work on bills, plan meals, get up to clean the daily clutter and wash the dishes–all before collapsing in bed at night, depressed with the thought that tomorrow would start the routine all over again. It felt like each day was a battle that left me exhausted, sometimes bloodied and bruised. I’d wake with the new sunrise, facing another battle to be won.

Chances are that within your church are many of these brave troops . Whether you are on staff or a concerned brother or sister, these brave soldiers need you and your church. They may not admit it, they may not even know it, but they need fellow believers to come alongside them in their daily battles.

Here are 4 things all singles need from the church to accomplish the goal of raising children who love and honor God.

He taught me to rely on Him alone for everything and then later He brought an amazing woman into my life. This year we celebrated 21 years of marriage. I am a pastor at a church in south Florida, and God is continuing to use my experiences as a single dad to encourage others. My hope is your church recognizes the incredible potential of single parents. Yes, they may need some extra attention, but the payoff is worth it in the end! Learn to see beyond the present and look to the future that God has in store for the single parent in your local church.

Single Pastors: Don’t Believe These 3 Lies

Wed, 29 Jun 2022 21:26:00 GMT

Being called to bi-vocational or vocational ministry is unique and as rewarding as it is terrifying, especially for single pastors who might be grappling with the lies single pastors believe about their calling. Compound that with being a single adult and the calling to ministry that once felt like a spiritual high now feels like an island of isolation. Carrying the burdens of day-to-day ministry alone will often feel less than whole to the American ideal of a married couple with a family and pet.

Single pastor, you are not alone. Those whispers of loneliness and inadequacy are not founded in Scripture. However, the emotions of feeling that way are seen in several Biblical examples! Here are three things you might be telling yourself as truth when they are not, reflecting the lies single pastors believe.

I need a wife to complete my ministry
• The apostle Paul is walking on the road to Damascus in Acts 9 when God calls him to ministry as a single adult. Scripture is silent on if Paul was married before. Given his past role as a Pharisee, he is likely a widower or a type of single adult at his calling into ministry. God did not require a wife for Paul to be called or be active in ministry. In fact, God used it as an asset in his life in several ways to proclaim the Gospel.

I need a family to have credibility
• Paul writes to the church at Corinth and in several areas of relationships as a single adult. He gives advice on being single, getting married, how to have a great marriage, and defines love. The church heard his message as a single adult. He used his singleness as an advantage.

I need to be married to be taken seriously by others
• Pastor, more than any other lie, this one is far from the Lord. You are complete in Christ. Jesus was single. As a minister of the Gospel, you stand on the promise of Colossians 2:10 and are complete in Christ. Other people will say things, think things, or attack you for not “understanding” where they come from. Remember, Jesus shared examples of Biblical truths, not from his experiences but from the promises of God. You carry that same authority and can humbly communicate Biblical truths in any situation. As for if you will be taken “seriously” or not, that is not under your control. Be faithful to proclaim the Scripture and let the Holy Spirit do the rest.

If these lies single pastors believe are believed, they will handicap your ministry to faithfully carry out the calling in your life. Remember, you are not alone in this journey. Be complete in Christ and surround yourself with community.

Loss When You Are All Alone

Tue, 17 May 2022 15:23:00 GMT

How do you handle the death of a loved one as a single person?

It’s a borderline selfish question that doesn’t seem quite as selfish once you break it down. Whether it’s a family member, dear friend, life partner, or spouse, the loss still sucks and is incredibly hard at any level. I’ve had a lot of losses in my life. By 19, I witnessed the burial of a teenage cousin, uncle, great grandmother, and two grandparents.

It was a 70/30 split on the expectation of their deaths, but each one produced a loss. Three happened over a year. In my early 20s, I felt the psychological loss of my father, who was a shell of who he used to be, because of an intense accident. By my mid-thirties, I had lost three of my favorite people in the whole world. One who had a considerable hand in shaping me into who I am today. In 2020, I suddenly lost my younger sister and three close friends. I’ve recently seen someone lose their spouse. Becoming not only a widow but also a single parent. I couldn’t imagine the pain, and I cried for them.

I feel like Jeremiah “Why has my pain been perpetual And my wound incurable, refusing to be healed?” 15:18

The loss just sucks. I paint this mournful portrait not to drum up pity or concern but to show I’m no stranger to loss. I know we all leave this world at some point. Our individual timelines vary just as our physical bodies and personalities do. But as I lay here, wide awake at 2:00 am (a grief side effect, I’m sure), I find tears rolling down my face at losing anyone else in my life. I go and listen to my mother’s snoring as proof of life. And with her signature sound, I write my minor panic off as an overreaction and begin to write this.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” – Matthew 11:28

Back to the original question… how do you deal with death as a single person? When we lost my sister, I saw my brother-in-law (a different sister’s husband) swoop in and become this rock for our family. I watched couples console one another, which built a safe space to let out their tears and fears and be vulnerable.

How does someone do this alone?

You are complete in Christ.

Your singleness doesn’t mean you don’t have support and love around you to help you get through the pain and grief. God puts these beautiful humans in your path exactly when you need them. He also is there, waiting for your relationship to begin. I can say from experience, even in my anger and frustration, God never left my side. He showed Himself in all these little ways, reminding me I’m not alone.

It took time, and I still struggle with the idea of being “alone” when my next loved one dies, but remembering that I have community and friends who will love me through my loss and my relationship with God will sustain me through those times are by far the most effective tools I have.

Single, but not alone…

Fri, 18 Mar 2022 21:17:00 GMT

In Genesis 3:10, for the first time, man isolates himself and finds himself alone , However, within this solitude lies a profound Being single opportunity for introspection, spiritual growth, and personal discovery. Recognizing this Being single opportunity can lead to transformative experiences and a deeper connection with oneself and with God.

God calls out to Adam in the garden and asks, “Where are you?” (The first question of the Bible). Adam’s answer is an explanation, “I heard the sound of you… I hid… I was afraid… I was naked… (Ashamed). Adam was Alone, Afraid, and Ashamed. An awful trio… the anti-trinity. He had lost Love, Joy, and Peace, and his heart hid from God.

What did God say next? (The second question of the Bible) “Who told you this?” Great question since there is no one around to say this to Adam. But, someone/something “told” him. For the first time, man has a new voice in his head… (a Cretic, an Accuser). Satan, the great accuser (Rev. 12:10), uses the only weapon on Earth to defeat man and God’s plan for him (words of accusation and deceit). Satan tells us, “you are shameful and deserve to be alone.”

Man and God are at an impasse.

At that moment, God made an everlasting choice. He tells us and demonstrates His love and commitment; He tells us, “You are not alone, and I will not walk away from you.”

Romans 5:15 But the free gift is not like the transgression (of Adam). For if by the transgression of one many died, much more did the grace of God and the gift by the grace of the one man, Jesus Christ, abound to the many. We have no condemnation if we are in Christ, Romains 8:1.

Being single is an opportunity, not isolation.

But God, rich in mercy, calls out to us, His children, “Where are you?” The question for us as believers in Christ is whether we will deny His voice of comfort or allow the accuser’s voice to drown out the statement attoment found at the cross. As singles, we’re presented with a unique Being single opportunity to deepen our relationship with God without the distractions of a romantic partnership. How do you perceive this life stage? Is it merely isolation, or can you recognize it as a profound Being single opportunity for personal development and spiritual enrichment?

Single Adult POV Two Years into COVID

Fri, 11 Mar 2022 18:45:00 GMT

Singles POV.

We hear you, and we are your advocate in the local church. We exist to build a community for single adults through discipleship, as we have done for 10 years. Your voice is heard, and we have dedicated our ministry to helping your pastor, leaders, community, and friends re-engage you in 2022.

All the quotes above are from real people who need authentic community now more than ever. Singles were already 51% of the adult population in the US before 2020, and the average age of widows was 57 . With over 1 million passed away from covid, there are even more singles in our communities than we realize waiting to find a community to connect in.

Leaders to singles.

You have done an amazing job these past two years. You learned how to do relational ministry in ways we never imagined and may need to do again in the future. But at this moment, will you be bold enough to take action and reach singles in your church and your community? Singles are not a ministry your church used to have years ago. They are searching online and talking to friends to see where they can connect with people in their life stage. While your church should be the destination where they learn to be complete in Christ , are they driving past your building to find friends?

We are two years in, but the work has just begun for you to connect.

Singles, you will need to re-enter a rhythm of joining in a safe environment focused on Christ. We hear your pain, but we were made in the image of God to be in community and complete in Christ. Take a step to try to engage with a new church family. You may find new friends and relationships to help you be a disciple. Leaders, there are many things on your plate to do in 2022. Still, if you are bold enough to be single-friendly, you may just find half your community will now feel welcome to join you in the new initiatives. Email us at info@tfoministries.org to learn ways to connect with singles and be single-friendly.

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5 Things Married People Don’t Get About Singles

Thu, 24 Jun 2021 13:03:00 GMT

1. How singles date now.

2. Why singles wait so long to marry.

3. We are Complete without a spouse.

4. How we spend our money.

5. Where we hangout.

Filling the Silence

Tue, 02 Feb 2021 22:07:00 GMT

Take 30 seconds and just listen to your surroundings. Go on, seriously, right where you are, clear your mind and just listen….

For most of us, our lives are filled with noise. Whether it’s the noise of a busy street, music in our headphones, or the TV in the background, we seek distractions so we don’t have to face the silence. But what if, in that very silence, lies the key to finding God in the silence? To be honest, most often, the noise is comforting, right? Because the noise is there, we don’t have to be alone with our thoughts, or our apartment doesn’t feel empty.

We find ourselves constantly trying to fill the silence, yet it is precisely in the silence that the profound truth of finding God in the silence emerges. It is within these quiet moments that God speaks and reveals Himself most often.

The Prophet Elijah knew this better than anyone. In the scene where he is going up against the prophets of Baal (1 Kings 18), God does something incredible. The prophets of Baal tried to get Baal to reveal himself by using loud chanting, singing, dancing, and crying out. For hours and hours. It was in the moment that everyone and everything got still that the one true God revealed Himself.

Can you imagine this moment? Elijah walks up to the altar with hundreds of people around, looking on in complete silence and anticipation of what might happen. Instead of a team of people dancing and causing a commotion, Elijah knelt and began to pray quietly. Then out of the silence (probably the occasional cough, because there is always that guy or a baby crying), BOOM, a column of fire comes from the sky and consumes the altar! Elijah’s God, the one TRUE GOD, exists and is all-powerful.

Fast forward to chapter 19 of 1 Kings, Elijah runs for his life and is hiding out in a cave, all alone. God wants to reveal Himself to Elijah and calls him out of the cave. Elijah experiences a strong wind that broke rocks, an earthquake, and a roaring fire. Then everything settled down, and in the absolute stillness of that moment, God spoke. In a moment of seemingly complete loneliness, he was never alone.

Have you ever asked yourself something like, “where is God?” Or “Why can’t I hear God?”

Instead of merely trying to fill the silence, we should prioritize spending more time resting in the silence. For it is in this intentional stillness that we truly encounter the essence of finding God in the silence. Because God is not amidst the noise, but rather in the tranquility, in the quiet. If you aren’t hearing from God, chances are you aren’t spending time resting in the silence.

Time with God

Fri, 01 Jan 2021 12:00:00 GMT

There are some excellent reading plans available to read the entire Bible in a year or even 90 days. These plans are great, and we encourage you to try one at least once. As a follower of Christ, you need to build a relationship with Him and know Him better. This comes through many venues. You can worship the Lord in praise. You can read about Him in His Word. You can also spend time with Him in prayer. All these require one thing: time.

As a single adult you might have been told “you have more time than married adults, so it is easier for you to spend time with God.” Nothing could be further from the truth. Every human has 24 hours in a day and can use that time as they choose based on priorities. It is a priority to get to work on time, so you do. It is a priority to eat food a few times a day to stay healthy, so you do. But it is the things we don’t prioritize that get shuffled lower on the to-do list and not accomplished. Single adults may or may not have children to tend during the day, and married adults have responsibilities to their spouse ( 1 Corinthians 7:33-35 ), but everyone sets priorities.

If you value exercise, you wake up early to work out. If you value TV time, you stay up late to catch your favorite shows. If you love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your soul and with all your strength, you will make time for Him and He will be a priority in your life ( Luke 10:27 ). Time with God does not always have to be reading His Word, although that is how we grow in the knowledge of Him. It may be just meditating on Him for a few moments every day and giving praises to Him for the great things He has done ( Psalm 111 ).

Make time with God a priority as a single adult. If your relationship status changes, this will serve as a successful foundation for your marriage. Accepting Christ as your Lord and Savior is the first step. The next step is to follow and know Him better.

What do you do to make time with God every day?

Stop Following Your Heart

Wed, 23 Dec 2020 13:00:00 GMT

Stop Following Your Heart from the start. Have you ever heard of Lemmings? It was a popular game a few years back, when floppy drives were still in use! It’s also an animal associated with the idea of following the leader no matter what, blindly going where they lead. The problem, of course, is that lemmings follow the leader, even if it’s over a cliff! They follow blindly until something happens, whether good or bad.

Singles are no different when they follow only their heart in relationships.

“The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure.” Jeremiah 17:9.

We are obsessed with a Romeo-and-Juliet culture where love is nothing more than following your heart to find true love. This is made even more popular by shows like “Once Upon a Time,” where every character is centered around finding their happy ending. And it never comes!

Christ wants you to follow Him! Proverbs 3:5 says “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding” Trust Him with everything! Paul says in 1 Corinthians 11:1, “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.” Christ says “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.” Matthew 16:24.

Following your heart leads to paths that are not always what God wants for our lives. Sin can creep into our decision-making and Stop Following Your Heart relying on our “hearts” leads to poor choices.

And as for that happy ending? In John 16:33 Jesus says, “The world will make you suffer. But be brave! I have defeated the world!” Christ has defeated the world through death on the Cross!

This world will never bring a happy ending, our happy ending as Christ followers is hearing the words “Well done my good and faithful servant.” Matthew 25:21.

Left Behind; Coping with friends’ marriages as a single adult

Sat, 14 Nov 2020 13:00:00 GMT

As a single guy who is old enough to be pondering questions such as, ‘Am I contributing enough to my 401(k)?’ or, ‘Does my potential new job offer dental benefits, because I might need dentures soon…?’, I have been around long enough to have witnessed the marriage of many of my best friends. Coping friends’ marriages can be challenging for single individuals like myself. Heck, most of my friends are on their second or third kid and are worrying about which school district has the best honors program for their supposedly gifted offspring!

Single adults often have to act enthusiastic in uncomfortable social situations, but perhaps the most painful and awkward act we have to perform is putting on a big smile and offering a heartfelt ‘Congratulations, that’s awesome, I’m so happy for you guys!’ when our best buddy or childhood friend finally decides to tie the knot – and we have no prospects on the horizon whatsoever! Coping friends’ marriages can evoke complex emotions for singles. Maybe you have “made your peace” with the whole Being Single thing and are content with where God has put you in life – good job, great friends, nice place to live, a church you feel really plugged into, etc. – but, to my mind at least, there is nothing that will challenge this state of contentedness more profoundly than the news of a close friend that’s getting engaged. Sometimes it doesn’t even take that much – we’ve all had those friends who were mainstays of our social group and who we hung out with all the time, but as soon as they found and began dating their soul mate they immediately vanished from the group and were gone from our lives as suddenly as the flip of a light switch.

Now don’t get me wrong – as someone who hopes to be married someday myself, but more importantly, as a Christ-follower who, in my better moments, attempts to treat others the way I would like to be treated – I am definitely not saying we should not or cannot truly rejoice with our friends when they come to us with the news that their lives are going to be permanently changed – far from it! But if we are painfully honest with ourselves, we will admit that sometimes it is like attempting to grin cheerfully during a root canal to try to be as sincerely happy for our soon-to-be-married friends as we hope they would be for us if it were our turn. Coping friends’ marriages requires navigating through complex emotions.

So what to do? First of all, acknowledge that it stinks – not that you necessarily need to tell them that (and if you do tell them, pray long and hard beforehand that God would give you the right words, the right time, and the right spirit in which to have that conversation). Just be honest with yourself and with God and admit that, yes, you are losing someone, at least for a while. In fact, it’s almost like someone close to you has died. For a romantic relationship to strengthen into a God-honoring, rock-solid marriage, the couple has to enter into a much more exclusive relationship than any they (and you) have ever experienced. Know that your engaged or newly married friends are not (99% of the time, at least) intentionally trying to leave you, their single friend, behind – they just need to spend a lot of quality time together in order to enter into that intimate relationship that God desires for them to have so that they can truly become one. But none of this changes the simple fact that you’ll miss having them around like they were before!

And of course, as a single adult, having a friend get engaged and married is just another not-so-subtle reminder that we are not. It’s not that we mean to be childish or jealous, it’s that our minds are being bombarded with thoughts like, ‘Why not me?’ ‘Am I going to be the last one standing?’ and on and on it goes… So yeah, just say it, ‘It stinks!’ Coping friends’ marriages can sometimes intensify feelings of loneliness and self-doubt.

Having said that, know that genuinely rejoicing with your friends while at the same time mourning the passing of an era and the permanent alteration of your friendship is not only possible, it’s also not “wrong,” so you shouldn’t feel guilty or weirded out about being in this seemingly conflicted state of mind. As a guy, I’m not too proud to admit something like this, but let’s face it – God also made men just as capable as women of feeling loss. We men probably don’t express it the way the ladies do, but yeah, we’ll definitely miss not being able to spontaneously call up our buddy to go skeet-shooting on a Saturday morning without him having to first check with his “social planner.”

Finally, remember that your “couple” friends still need you! Yes, they will withdraw into themselves for a while and yes, your relationship with them will never be exactly what it used to be, but just because they are getting married doesn’t mean they don’t want or need your friendship any more. It may take them a few months or so to realize it, but they will wake up one day and realize that their husband or wife, however wonderful he or she is, cannot satisfy their every human need – and God made each one of us with a deep need for friendship. They need your friendship as they enter their new romantic relationship, and they will still need your friendship months and years after they get married and start having kids.

God is not the author of pain, sadness, or loneliness – His word tells us that all these things are the by-products of our fallen and broken world and will one day pass away with the coming of the new Heaven and Earth. Sometimes, though, I believe God allows us to deal with the “loss” of a good friend so that we will be reminded that He is, indeed, truly enough. He and He alone is our constant companion, and in a world of constant turbulence and change, we need this reminder often. He always has a way of providing exactly what we need at just the right time – and sometimes He has to take away what we think we need to show us what we really need. Thankfully, His wisdom and timing are always perfect, and when nothing else in the world makes sense, we can trust His heart and know that, as a gracious and loving Father, He will never fail to provide for our needs in ways that are far greater than we would ever imagine!

I Don’t Need You Today, God; Importance of Prayer

Sat, 01 Aug 2020 12:00:00 GMT

Recognizing the importance of prayer, going a day without it is like telling God ‘I don’t need you today.’ Wow. As followers of Christ, would we ever want to even think such a thing? But we all do, we all go a day without praying sometimes. Maybe it is because you had a long day, or you are busy and cannot fit in a quiet time daily.

Regardless of your situation, you need to recognize the importance of prayer by praying daily, and here is why. You have conversations every day with people on the phone, in person, online, or in your head. We build relationships with others through communication, and the Lord wants us to do the same with Him. God wants us to ask ANYTHING in prayer and He just may give it to us, Matthew 7:7-12 . If you know of someone who is sick? Pray– James 5:14-16 . Are you anxious about anything? Pray– Philippians 4:6-7 .

How do you pray? Recognize the importance of prayer by praying throughout your day, giving God praises and asking for His help– 1 Thessalonians 5:17 . Pray out loud using your voice and have a conversation with God– Psalm 66:17 . Find a quiet place if possible and pray honestly to God without worry of what others will say about your prayers– Matthew 6:5-6. Martin Luther said, “The fewer the words, the better the prayer.” And, if you need a template of how to pray, Christ gives us one in the Lord’s Prayer– Matthew 6:9-13 .

Every day you should recognize the importance of prayer, and when you lie down at night you can quickly pray Psalm 3:5 as your final thoughts of the day, “I Iie down and sleep: I wake again, because the Lord sustains me.” As a single adult you have the opportunity to pray undivided to God daily– 1 Corinthians 7:33-34 . Use this as a chance to pray for others, friends who need to know Christ, and as a way to build a relationship with Christ. Spend time in prayer and never go a day saying you don’t need God.

Distracted: Finding Focus in a World Full of Distractions

Mon, 01 Jun 2020 14:15:00 GMT

Life is full of distractions. We’re distracted at work, at home, with media, and even our local churches. It’s not hard to wonder why it’s so hard to stay focused on the most important things in our life. How we handle distractions is a part of maturing our faith. Choosing the difference between a distraction and God’s calling is vital to following Christ.

“Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will send you out to fish for people.” (Matt. 4:19, NIV)

Do you find yourself starting a task, only to pick up your phone at the first ding of text notice? Could you go more than an hour without picking up your phone? Longer?

I often remind myself, I survived for years without a cell phone. I didn’t always get a phone message until I arrived home and checked the answering machine. Sometimes that was late into the evening. Friends didn’t panic. Family didn’t call 911. We just trusted that God had a plan and it didn’t usually involve immediate gratification and the distractions of media devices.

“Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.” (Luke 9:23, NIV)

Jesus instructed his followers to do just that–Follow. He didn’t add, “when you can.” “If you have time.”

Being obedient requires a focus and Him and His calling for you this moment, this day, this week, this life. It may mean saying no to events. It may mean saying no to the four-hour marathon of your favorite show. And, yes, at times, it may mean not filling up our weekend schedule with friends and family. Sometimes we just need to turn off the world off for an hour, a day, a weekend, a week and spend time with Him.

When I find I’m getting agitated with the little things, I’m reminded that I’m not doing the Big Thing. Shutting off the noise of music, television, computer, phones brings me back to where I should have never left.

We all know we need to sometimes turn off the distractions, but how often do we take the challenge? Is it time? Turn off the noise. Ignore the distractions. Turn up the volume of Christ in your life. Spend time with Him today and follow where He leads.

Join Already! Committing to God’s Community by Joining a Church

Wed, 27 May 2020 12:00:00 GMT

“Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.”

James 4:13-15

Singles are great at committing to not committing to anything! As a single adult, you know it’s true! Singles are great at checking “maybe” on a Facebook invite and then waiting to see who will actually click on the “yes” box before they make that commitment. All of this and more is true when it comes to joining a local church. Single adults are transient people, often hesitant to join a church community. Having only one opinion to consult in decisions to move to a new job, relocate for school, or move across town to a new place all result in single adults not joining a church for fear they may move again soon.

Stop the non-committing! Christ wants you to be “all in” for Him and His people. The excuses are endless, but if you are in a church that is honoring God, preaching His Word, and you are growing in your relationship with Him through that congregation, it’s time to join! Stand up today single adults and be where you are for however long the Lord will have you there. Join a church, get involved, give of your time, money, and resources to the church you are actively participating in.

Ask the Lord if it is His will you would join the congregation you are in now. If it is not, then you need to start looking for a place He does want you and join. For many singles, when they join a church it may be their first time ever joining a church on their own. They may have been in the church all their lives because their parents were members. Now is the time for you to grow in your faith, invest in a local church, and actively join in with God’s family.

Single Pastor, you are not alone

Wed, 01 Apr 2020 16:50:00 GMT

Being called to bi-vocational or vocational ministry is unique and as rewarding as it is terrifying, especially for single pastors. Compound that with the challenges of single pastor ministry, and the calling to ministry that once felt like a spiritual high now feels like an island of isolation. Carrying the burdens of day to day ministry alone will often feel less than whole to the American ideal of a married couple with a family and pet.

Pastor, you are not alone. Those whispers of loneliness and inadequacy are not founded in Scripture. However, the emotions of feeling that way are seen in several Biblical examples! Here are three things you might be telling yourself as truth when they are not.

Strong and Courageous

Sun, 15 Mar 2020 02:16:00 GMT

“Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Joshua 1:7-9

Have you ever faced a significant change in your life? The kind of change that demands unwavering strength and courage? The type of change that you know nothing will be the same going forward if you do it? Joshua knew that what the Lord was calling him to do was a BIG change for him and the nation of Israel. We do not know 100% if Joshua was married from Scripture, so imagine what he as a single adult is facing when the Lord calls him to lead Israel. He is leading the Lord’s people as a single adult hearing from the Lord in Joshua 1 what his marching orders are to be.

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Reading this text as the Lord speaking to Joshua as a single adult does make sense. As a single adult it is easy to feel alone, afraid, and discouraged. But God addresses these fears and lets him know that He will be with him everywhere he goes, so Joshua should be strong and courageous. God’s promise of strength and courage is not exclusive to Joshua; it extends to each of us. We are called to be strong and courageous for the Lord, knowing that He stands with us in every circumstance.

Question Engagement: Importance of Asking Before Getting Engaged

Tue, 03 Mar 2020 03:40:00 GMT

You have been single for a few years but recently you have been dating someone and it is getting serious, real serious. You are both casually talking about building a life together and dreaming big dreams for your future. Pause. Before you start down those roads too far, remember the step between being married and dating is being engaged. Question engagement is often undervalued, merely seen as a step to get a ring and reasons to start planning a big wedding day. Engagement is an important time for you both; it’s a time to solidify the little details in your relationship before the big day. But before you get engaged, you need to ask a few questions. By this point, you have hopefully engaged in questioning compatibility, paving the way for a deeper understanding through question engagement. Questions about your spiritual, physical, and emotional compatibility. Right before you get engaged, now is the time to ask the small questions. 101 of them is a good start. We recommend 101 Questions to ask BEFORE you get engaged by H. Norman Wright because it forces a couple to process fully the commitment they are about to make. These questions may seem repetitive at first, but every couple we have seen go through it has learned more about themselves and their potential future partner. Christ is the foundation of a life-long relationship. With Him, all things are possible and together you will be one before Him in marriage. Take time to work out the small details before the hustle and bustle of being engaged and planning a wedding. Your relationship will benefit tremendously by doing so.

I Am a Widow, But Do I Have To Be Single?

Wed, 19 Feb 2020 02:42:00 GMT

The experience of widowhood is undeniably tough, especially in the aftermath of losing a spouse. In addition to the grief, there can be the confusion of changing financial arrangements, and the assumption of household and family responsibilities that were once shared. For many, there is also the added challenge of discovering where they now “fit” among the social circles present in their local congregation.

Single adults who were once married cannot be lumped into one big “Single-again” category. Many find themselves navigating the complexities of widowhood, a journey that brings its own set of challenges and adjustments. Many widows/ers do not think of themselves as single at all. They carry on living, in many ways, as if their spouse were simply away on a trip. Others, however, see a completely new chapter of life before them, and choose to seek out new friendships and opportunities.

Table for One Ministries wants all widows/ers to know you are not alone. The decision to be “single again” is yours and yours alone. We do, however, believe it can be a positive step. After the loss of such a close relationship, the void in life can seem unfillable. Many widows continue on with their current married environments only to find they have less and less in common with them as time moves forward. Widows need other widows and singles who understand their life stage and can sometimes minister to them more effectively than their previous group.

Embracing widowhood is not the end of the road, but rather the beginning of a new stage of life where bold things can be done and serving the Lord should be center stage. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 8 & 9: “Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do.” Embrace your new life stage as a widow and see where the Lord will lead you next. Within your singles group, fellow members who have experienced widowhood will embrace you with loving arms, providing a unique place to connect and find support.

What To Do When the Church Fails You

Sat, 18 Jan 2020 01:27:00 GMT

First and foremost, I want to say this is not a piece bashing my church or claiming that my church failed me. Did the church fail me? Were there consequences? Yes and yes. What am I doing now? But most importantly, what did God do?

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September 2019 marked two years since my world fell apart.

It wasn’t the typical tragedy you hear about in the world. I didn’t lose a spouse, child, or close family member. I was in good physical health. A natural disaster didn’t obliterate my home. It wasn’t even a catastrophic break-up with a man I hoped to marry. Two years and some months ago, I lost my church home. I lost my church community and felt like my world came crashing down around me.

But people leave their church every day, how is my church failing me different?

This was my first church home as an adult, on my own. I grew up in a tiny country congregation that was comprised of at least 40% of family members. As most do, I went wayward and rebelled against my holy teachings. I never quit talking to God, but He definitely was not a major presence in my life. Fast forward and I found myself going to early services, purposely late to skip “happy hug time”, but still showing up to hear the Word and get my worship on. After a year or so of hiding out in my third-row pew, I signed a piece of paper and the rest is history. The Connections minister quickly plugged me in and like Lazarus breathing again, my world was transformed. The hole in my heart was filled and my life had a purpose that I would have never dreamt of. I had a community around me that believed as I did, loved as I loved, and served as I served. I began to understand what it meant to have a real relationship with God and being complete in Christ was really all about.

No church is perfect.

Sometimes called a hospital for sinners, the church is a place where broken people become healed. When I left, it was my own decision, but I truly felt like I had no other option. I sent fervent prayers asking for guidance and peace with whatever may happen. Staying meant the community I loved would be ripped in half like a baby in front of King Solomon. It became clear I had to go. Earlier, I asked when the church had failed me. Yes. Quite simply, my church failed me. Piousness, pride, politics, and a lack of urgency from church leaders ignited the end of my time at the church. But broken people, hurt people, and the church is full of people, none of which are perfect. I did manage to keep some amazing life-long friends with me, but even they grieved over their account what had happened. It was like a tornadic wrecking ball that demolished our lives. What we knew and loved so fiercely was destroyed.

As the dust settled I was numb and broken.

I had an array of emotions and felt lost. How could God let this happen? Especially in His church? How could people who claimed to love God and serve Him do such horrible things? How could those who felt chosen by the Lord to shepherd and minister to His people, not protect them? How could they fail so hard?

Even writing this out is hard when reflecting on how my church failed me. I don’t want to dwell on the darkness, but I think it’s important to acknowledge it. Even though the emotions might not be pleasant to go through, they are all part of the process and teach you something. I’ve tried multiple times over the past year to say I’ve healed completely and am ready to move forward, but then I realize, I’m not always letting God truly heal my heart. As I slowly rejoin church life, I look back on the past two years, multiple tears, and long talks with God. Here is what I’ve learned to do when the church fails you.

I’d love to say as of this publishing date, I’m a new member of a fantastic church where I’m plugged in and part of a deeply rooted community, but that hasn’t happened yet. Being a migrant single for the past two years has added a layer of complexity to solidifying church membership. I am ready to find a community that I can walk through life with. I am ready to trust God to lead me to the perfectly imperfect congregation that I can call my church home. So, this afternoon I’ll go visit a friend’s church. And Lord willing, it may be the one.

Get Out There | Engaging Others for Christ

Wed, 15 Jan 2020 02:33:00 GMT

So you are not the ‘outgoing type’ or would rather curl up with a book on Friday night and not engage the world, but it’s crucial to consider engaging others for Christ in every aspect of life. Or maybe you are the “life of the party” kind of person and hate sitting in silence. Both people are created by God and uniquely wired to have a way to “charge up their batteries.” But when it comes to engaging others for Christ, our sole purpose for doing so should not be to only get something out of those relationships. It’s about sharing the love of God with those we encounter. We should also be looking for ways to give.

Paul says in 1 Corinthians 9:19-23 a direct reason to introverts and extroverts to engage the culture and find new friends. You can see three versions of this text HERE , but the ESV says it this way:

For though I am free from all, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win more of them. To the Jews I became as a Jew, in order to win Jews. To those under the law I became as one under the law (though not being myself under the law) that I might win those under the law. To those outside the law I became as one outside the law (not being outside the law of God but under the law of Christ) that I might win those outside the law. To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all people, that by all means I might save some. I do it all for the sake of the gospel, that I may share with them in its blessings.

As a single adult, you need to get out there and meet people for the sake of the Gospel, actively engaging others for Christ wherever you go! Not just to have someone to party with or call to watch a movie, but to meet lost people and show the love of God. These relationships are not for the purpose of dating, but for the Kingdom. But notice what Paul says, he does not do that because everyone is converting due to his efforts. He is doing this so that SOME MAY be saved. Just because you had lunch with a co-worker and there was not a baptism that followed, doesn’t mean you should give up on engaging those around you.

What is at stake is too great for you as a follower of Christ not to make all efforts to share the Gospel. If you don’t have a relationship with the Lord. Single adults have great opportunities to be flexible with their time and engage others. Single parents have connections as well through their family that otherwise some may never have to reach people. No matter where you are at as a single adult, it’s vital to keep engaging others for Christ, making sharing the Gospel close to your heart daily so that some may know Him.

Sunday Single Selection

Thu, 10 Oct 2019 13:45:00 GMT

It is Saturday night and you know you should go to church tomorrow, yet you have reservations in your heart about where to go or if you should find somewhere new to go for your Sunday single selection. You want to Worship and hear the Word preached, but the church you go to does not seem to get being single or you can not find a church with a singles group. Many singles have this Saturday night emotion, wanting to go to church for all the right reasons, but still desiring more in community with other singles like yourself.

Many churches don’t have a targeted group for singles, if they even seem to acknowledge they are present in their Sunday single selection. Those that do have singles groups may not feel like they are targeted at people like yourself. While the emotions are valid, your response to these issues should have only one outcome and that is to go Worship with other believers. Worship is not a self serving activity where you get something for doing something. Worship is about praising God for who He is and learning more about Him through that experience. So here are a few encouragements for singles with regards to church selection.

Finally, choose! Go to a church where God is calling you for your Sunday single selection, make roots and serve. Don’t spend all your time looking when you could be connected to a church and start building a singles ministry for people like yourself. Your efforts to do so will not return void and God will honor your commitment to serve Him.

Single Parent and Complete in Christ

Fri, 09 Aug 2019 08:49:00 GMT

Complete in Christ not just a lifestyle. It is a mindset that no matter what happens or what worldly influences persist, wholeness is found in the Lord. Single families need to be reminded of Jeremiah 1:5 “ Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you… ”

Single parents need a Biblical foundation to affirm their family is not an accident. It is not less complete, or in any way a punishment for a lifestyle. Single parents need to acknowledge God knew their child before he or she was even formed in the womb.

For single mothers and fathers out-of-wedlock that means even though the parent did not follow God’s will regarding no sex before marriage, God knew that child’s life before they sinned, and that child’s life is consecrated or set apart by God. There are no mistakes or accidents when it comes to how single families are formed according to God, regardless of the circumstances that create a single family.

Likewise for single parents of adoption, God entrusted the single parent before the adopted child was even conceived. Their adoption is not a chance of fate, but a divine appointment. Their family was planned by a Holy God long before it came to fruition.

For single mothers/fathers that are widowed, there was no mistake about whether they could or could not handle the situation given to them. They are Complete in Christ, and God knew the widow or widower could raise a family alone and that the child would have a home that could be filled to the point each person in the home could be Complete in Christ.

Lastly, for single mothers/fathers of divorce and their children, God hates divorce. As Malachi 2:16 tell us, it is never His plan. But, Paul reminds us in 1 Corinthians 7 that even Moses had to grant divorce due to the sinful nature of man. Children should not be a chess piece in divorce or a reminder of a failed past relationship. God knows each child in the womb, and He sets apart each one’s lives. Therefore, single parents of divorce need to be Complete in Christ, even if they were never complete in their prior marriage.

The single parent needs to be mindful of Romans 8 where we are told there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ. Only Christ can complete someone, not a relationship, and certainly, not a spouse.

All In – A Story of Unwavering Commitment

Thu, 18 Jul 2019 02:30:00 GMT

If I had known at 20 that at age 30 I would be serving as a single female missionary in the Middle East, I would have probably married the next guy that came along, forsaking my commitment to God’s calling. And, I would have regretted it, I’m positive.

Why? Because I am right where I am supposed to be, fulfilling my commitment to God’s plan for me. On the good days, my heart is so full of love for Him and others that I feel it may explode. On the hard days, when I tend to ask, “Why, Lord?” and my prayers are peppered with complaints, it is often through tears and on bended knee that I renew the choice to trust Him.

Marriage was my plan. Always. However, my commitment to God’s purpose led me down a different path. Truthfully, it is still in my plans, and I consistently bring it up in my prayer life. But I don’t think the life I’m living is some sort of backup plan to the “perfect life” that could have been.

There was a moment, a few years after I became a believer, I felt Him asking me how much of my life was really His, how much was I really willing to give up? Would I hold back areas of my life, my plans, and my dreams from His touch? Would I cling to the things of this world over Him?

It was one of those rare times in life, when the world may see nothing happening, but in my heart I was forever changed. I was set on a path to following Him–whatever He wanted of me, my answer was yes.

Really, it’s the commitment every Christian makes– if we make Jesus Lord, then we are giving up our lives then and there. But how often do we (and I mean myself in this!!) simply take our lives back and go on doing what we want to do and living how we want to live?

Shortly after that time of commitment (re-commitment?), I felt called to missions. At that point my experience was limited, and I am pretty sure my answer of “yes” still included a husband, children and “white-picket fence” future. Never could I have imagined where He would lead me.

After living in sixteen different places since college graduation, I feel like I am finally home–in the Middle East, odd as that may seem. I am convinced that He is working in the lives of the women around me and some have hearts burning with desire to know Him. As I move about my city, I am trying to meet these ladies and share with them the Truth they long to know.

I’m living the life He means for me to live, one day at a time. Tomorrow I could be hit by a car (I mean, really, there are no crosswalks!) and be on my way to see Him. Or something could happen that sends me on a plane back to the States. Maybe I’ll get married someday, or maybe I won’t. It could be I will see crazy large amounts of people turn to Him. Or possibly His purposes for me will be different.

Whatever He has in store for me, I’m all in. Not all in with bitterness. Not all in with hesitancy. I’m all in with a great big smile on my face.

Another Closed Door | Discovering Hope After Divorce

Sat, 25 May 2019 11:55:00 GMT

When my marriage of 14 years ended against my wishes, I drove to and from work, often not remembering how I got there. When I arrived home at the end of the day, I found myself staring at the television without registering what was on. I was a zombie. All I could think was, ‘What now? I’m alone, searching for finding hope after divorce.

That feeling of despair eventually dissipated, especially as I found solace in Christ, finding hope after divorce. I grabbed onto the promise of God stated in Deuteronomy 31:8.

The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you;

He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

When relationships end, it’s easy to lose sight of finding hope after divorce and instead succumb to a pity party. To relive everything said or done. To grow angry or depressed. To calculate how you need to change to guarantee you will not be alone again. Yet focusing and obsessing on all of these things can take the Believer’s focus off where it needs to be.

It may take some time to pull yourself out of the doldrums, but knowing that there is hope after divorce can be the guiding light to lead you out of darkness. We are called to walk in His light, to be a light for His kingdom.

No matter what changes your relationship status goes through, one thing remains constant. Your relationship with Christ will never end! Be Complete in Christ! Hold fast to the promise. Your earthly relationships may change or end, but not His!

You Don’t Deserve my Forgiveness

Wed, 01 May 2019 12:34:00 GMT

I offer forgiveness to you.

Three words that people fight to say all the time. It could be pride, jealousy, or even anger that causes us not to want to offer forgiveness but we don’t say them nearly enough. Why? How can we learn how to say “I am sorry” and offer forgiveness to those who don’t deserve it?

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Romans 5:8

When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins.

Colossians 2:13

For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned…

John 3:17-16

God forgives us. Every single one of us. Even though, as sinners, we certainly don’t deserve loving forgiveness from Him. On the Cross hung a man who never sinned and took all the sin of the world and paid the penalty for our sins so that we may experience life. If you have followed Christ, you have been given that depth of forgiveness.

And because Christ forgave us, we must do no less. Otherwise, how do we reflect God’s love?

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us .

1 John 4:7-12

Christ followers, we ought to say we are sorry and offer forgiveness as freely as it has been given to us. Don’t be a person of whom others say “takes a while to forgive.” Be a person who others say “reflects God’s love.”

We will never be Christ, but we can reflect His love every time we offer forgiveness and say three simple words. I forgive you.

A Single Budget: Those Unexpected Expenses

Sat, 27 Apr 2019 12:00:00 GMT

For some, it is pretty easy to stick to a Spending Plan except when budgeting for unexpected expenses becomes necessary. Some of these expenses can be predicted, some are just pure, unwelcome surprises. It is important to have an emergency fund to take care of the unwelcome surprises that we know will happen from time to time.

However, there are many “unexpected” expenses that, with a little thought and planning, can be budgeted for in advance. Singles frequently tend to work more and socialize more because they often have fewer family obligations. In socializing, it is common to eat out a lot, celebrate lots of birthdays, weddings, babies and many other things. So we need to plan in our Spending Plan for things like gifts, dinner parties out, social events celebrating milestones like birthdays and graduations, etc.

We also have expenses that don’t occur every month. If we are not planning well, these expenses can turn into significant challenges for budgeting for unexpected expenses. Examples would be things like oil changes, car tags and registration, children’s school Field Trip costs, Christmas gifts, etc. It is important to anticipate these expenses and work them into your monthly Spending Plan.

Take a calendar and go month by month to help you anticipate these expenses. Working these into your Spending Plan will help you have more confidence in your plan and therefore help you be more successful.

Is Sexting OK in My Relationship

Wed, 24 Apr 2019 14:38:00 GMT

For those unaware, sexting is a form of provocative language between a couple using electronic communication. The question often arises: Is Sexting OK in My Relationship? In a relationship, couples will often find creative ways to convey their love to one another. In years of old, this may have been letter writing or heaven forbid an actual conversation.

In any relationship communication is key, but what type of communication is profitable? Is Sexting OK in My Relationship? For an unmarried couple sexting is crossing a line of respect for the boundaries of the relationship that honors God. If you have to ask ”Would God approve of this?” then you need to reconsider why you are doing it in the first place! At the core of these words you will find lust, and lust is sinful–not playful, and not loving.

Our response to dating singles is that sexting crosses the line, it is lust and it is wrong. Have you ever asked yourself: Is Sexting OK in My Relationship? Even once you are engaged, it should be off-limits; you are not married and need to save something special to share after your big day. EVEN THEN, let us all not forget that the NSA is reading most anything we send and the high profile people caught sexting and the embarrassment it caused. So keep your text above reproach ( 1 Timothy 3:2 ) and have a happy, God honoring relationship.

A Single Budget: How Can I Have a Life When I Have No Money?

Thu, 18 Apr 2019 12:00:00 GMT

What a great church service you had this morning. Now all your friends from the Singles Group are heading out to lunch. You know your money is tight and a constant headache, but you just can’t take going back to your apartment and having something frozen. Besides, you deserve to indulge in budget-friendly socializing because (insert reason here) .

The truth is, if you don’t have the money in your budget for this meal out, then you don’t deserve it. In fact, you don’t deserve the hurt you are causing yourself by spending money that you don’t have. We all have a 5-year old living inside of us. That 5-year old doesn’t care about a Spending Plan. That 5-year old wants what it wants, and wants it NOW!

Sometimes we have to tell our inner 5-year old “no.” That is harder to do when we don’t have a spouse or parents helping us keep ourselves in-check. So, does that mean we should put on a sack cloth and go home to eat our frozen dinner alone, never to have any fun again? Absolutely not! It just means that you need to be creative with a little discipline thrown into the mix.

Knowing that the group typically goes out, brainstorm budget-friendly socializing alternatives. For example, you could pack a sandwich or a snack to eat on the way and then just fellowship with them once at the restaurant. This doesn’t mean go and order water and then fill up on the free chips and salsa. You need to do what is right and don’t forget to tip the server. They are still serving you even if you just order a drink. Another idea would be to offer alternatives such as suggesting the group brown-bag it to a park one week, invite everyone to your place for a potluck, or share 2 for 1 coupons in order to reduce the cost of your meal.

Keep in mind, this is temporary. You won’t have to restrict yourself forever, just while you are getting to a better place in your finances through budget-friendly socializing. Keep your eye on the prize which is winning with your finances.

Will Marriage Fix My Sexual Desires?

Fri, 12 Apr 2019 21:23:00 GMT

“But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry,

for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”

– 1 Corinthians 7:9

Marriage is more than a fix for addressing sexual desires within marriage.

In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul addresses marriage to the married, single, widowed and divorced adults. In light of the above passage, how can any person choose to be single with such a burning sinful desire of passion? Are singles strong enough to control their sexual desires?

Prominent speakers have suggested that to be single is in effect an open sin as it is nearly impossible to abstain from impure thoughts while single. The fallacy in this opinion is that married persons do not have such thoughts, which is clearly not the case. Divorces are often caused by infidelity originating from sinful thoughts. Marriage does not fix sin, only being Complete in Christ can help fight against sin nature.

God’s Word instructs us to be strong and bold. Controlling sexual desires within marriage requires placing God at the center of the relationship. As a relationship develops, it is not always easy. But God will reward the couple who chooses to wait. Self-control seems to be a major part of the conversation happening in 1 Corinthians 7 as Paul wishes people to be single like himself but realizes that many are too weak to do so.

This goes along with the same conversation for singles with “the gift of singleness” spoken of in verse 7 of the same chapter. The idea is that no person is strong enough to control their sexual desires and if there were such a person, they would truly have this “gift” of singleness. Yet, control is not what we, as sinners, as humans, have.

We, at Table for One, believe marriage is more than a way to address sexual desires in marriage. It’s a lifetime commitment. It’s a sacred relationship centered on Christ. It is not just a way to correct sin, Christ died for our sins on the cross and rose again defeating the grave and overcoming this world. Therefore we need to value marriage for what it is, a covenant between two people and God until eternity.

In this conversation, Paul is almost suggesting with a bit of sarcasm or frustration that as a last resort, the very weak should just get married if they can’t control themselves. Paul is writing with all seriousness that marriage is important and has its place, but above all, is serving the Lord with all of your heart, soul, and mind.

Marriage should be a calling to bond with another person, not a tool to fix sin.

A Single Budget: So What’s the Plan?

Thu, 11 Apr 2019 12:15:00 GMT

So, you are single, carefree and are thinking a week at a beach house with your buddies sounds like a great vacation. Or maybe you are a single parent who wants to give your 7-year old and your 9-year old the magical vacation that every child dreams of…a trip to Disney World! So you just grab a soda and jump in the car and go, right? Of course not! With no plan or thought put into it, that would just be crazy. So why do we treat our money, particularly our budgeting, any differently?

Have you ever gone to pay for something with a $20 bill only to find it isn’t in your wallet anymore? Yeah, me too. What happened? You just got $80 out from the bank ATM a couple of days ago. So where is it now? If you don’t have a plan for that $80, it vanishes.

Whether you are a planner or not, when it comes to money, budgeting is crucial for financial stability. Otherwise, your money just goes and you don’t have control. As Dave Ramsey says, tell every single dollar where to go on paper before even one of them leaves your hand. Having a budgeting plan sounds constraining, but if you can do it for 90-days, you suddenly find it very freeing.

“The plans of the diligent certainly lead to profit, but anyone who is reckless only becomes poor.” Proverbs 21:5 . Although having a spending plan is a little uncomfortable to start, it sets you up to have success with your money, to take care of you and your family, and to experience the joy of making others’ lives better.

So what is your plan?

A Single Budget: A Spiritual Revival

Thu, 04 Apr 2019 12:00:00 GMT

Money is the root of all evil, right? Not even close. Money is neither good nor bad. Money is a tool that can be used for some very good things, like feeding your family or giving to support a ministry. Money can also be a tool to do bad things like spoil children or finance terrorists groups. It’s not the money. It’s how the money is used.

How do you handle money? As singles, we are blessed with the opportunity to control all of our money, making personal finance for singles a significant aspect of our lives! We don’t have to share with a spouse–we can make 100% of the decisions about our finances. However, the curse of this is we can also easily misbehave with money and not have someone nagging about it. If you find yourself struggling with sticking to a spending plan, seek assistance from someone knowledgeable in personal finance for singles to hold you accountable. It can’t be someone who is an enabler and will not ask you the tough questions when needed. Look for someone who is doing well with money and loves you enough to be tough with your feelings when needed regarding your money.

As Christians, we know our money is not really our own. We are money managers for what God provides for us. He is our provider.

Does your money spending reflect your values, particularly in the context of personal finance for singles? The answer is yes. Like it or not, where we spend our money says a lot about what we value. It doesn’t mean we should give all our money away and live in a tent and eat bread and water. It is okay to enjoy some things, but Believers should also be balanced in living, giving and saving.

When we start managing money God’s way, amazing things will happen. Your debt will be under control, you’ll experience more joy of giving and you’ll move towards a greater understanding of God and His love for us. He has many good things for us and wants us to have joy. Give thanks for the things He has provided and focus on how He wants you to manage His money.

Single vs Married 3 Bucket List Differences

Fri, 22 Mar 2019 09:00:00 GMT

A bucket list is a compiled list of ideas, experiences, and achievements a person wants to do before ‘kicking the bucket’ (dying). So how do bucket list differences single vs married manifest? Here are three categories where we notice similarities and three where we see distinctions.

How they list are the same:

Now, here is how they differ:

Marriage isn’t the Finish Line

Sun, 17 Mar 2019 18:20:00 GMT

The big day is here! Here comes the bride all dressed in white. The groom dressed to the nines in his rented tux stands fidgeting at the front to begin a ceremony that moves even the hardest of hearts to tears. Then comes the reception including a toast from the father of bride of just how proud he is that his little girl found a man, almost implicating that a secret achievement has been unlocked allowing the happy couple to continue in the game of life, side-by-side.

Singles. Get. It.

At the same time you are happy for another couple. Everyone is celebrating a monumental achievement in the lives of your friends. But in fact, is marriage the finish line? Singles often are looking to the next milestone or marker in life. At some point, it starts to feel like the only milestone left is marriage.

But the reality? It is not the finish line of achievement.

For married couples, the next bombardment of marriage expectations is kids. And while having a pet or three helped for a while, the next finish line of life is having a baby. Once that is crossed and no less than a day after the first child, there are questions of when the next baby will arrive. After baby two, the next quiz is will there be three. Have four, and comments of birth control fill the air. Then there is college for the kids, jobs for the young adults, and future weddings! The cycle starts all over again.

Here is the point.

The finish line is defined by marriage expectations, just not the ones you may have thought or felt from your surrounding friends and family.

Being Complete in Christ is the only relationship that will leave you complete. All other relationships build off of that relationship and running a good race is defined by it. Keeping the faith and living for God is grounded in a relationship with Christ.

Singles, always keep in mind your life not measured by this world, but by following the One who paid our sins in full–Jesus–so we can live life more abundantly.

Separated or Single?

Sat, 23 Feb 2019 12:43:00 GMT

He walked out on his marriage a month ago and comes to your church. He’s brand new and comes to the singles group. He seems nice and you greet him, talk to him, and connect him. Over lunch that week, he mentions that he is recently divorced. As the conversation progresses, you realize that when he says “divorced” he mean that he has left his wife and the “paperwork” is still “in process”. So then, is this person divorced? As a minister of the Gospel, how do you counsel him? Is he single or is he married?

A real world problem for singles ministries is dealing with a person who is separated but not divorced or, in our view, even single. Table for One Ministries defines divorced as “The papers are filed” for a reason. We believe that until a divorce is legally finalized that person is married. Marriage is a sacred commitment and by all means should be fought for until the end. Separated is nothing more than married but not together. It’s still marriage.

This is NOT to say singles ministries cannot help. The church can and must help in this situation, but singles ministry should be for singles not married adults. The problem is introducing a hurting, frustrated, married person to a group of happy, healthy single people does not encourage the married person to seek God’s strength to fight for their marriage. Instead, it encourages them to abandon their marriage and seek the “happy single life” they see in front of them.We can hear the criticism now: “Every case is different and there should be exceptions,” “Divorces can take years,” and “Things are over, so why wait?”

We encourage the waiting to give God time to work. Emotions run high during separations, and they need to be given time to let God speak to BOTH people involved.

To those separated but not divorced: marriage commitment is a big deal. Leaving it should not be a simple task. Allow God to move and even if that divorce takes months to sort out, take time to heal before looking to engage the single adult world. Leaders, protect your singles from getting involved with a married person, and encourage the separated adult looking to get involved in a married adult group first, giving God time to work in their life.

Lady Porn

Sat, 26 Jan 2019 10:44:00 GMT

Ladies, don’t think you are immune to the trap of pornography. According to XXXChurch.com, 49% of women found pornography an acceptable way of expressing sexuality. Thirteen percent of women admit to viewing pornography at work and one of every three visitors to porn websites are women. Even worse, 34% of church-going women admit to looking at pornography.

This is not a conversation about whether a novel you might have read is a version of porn. No, this is a reality that graphic erotica is gripping females just as it does males, and the stats show this issue is on the rise.

Porn is a Lie.

In Romans 7 , Paul talks about the desire to do good but still falling into sin, until the power of the cross takes over your life. As a single adult, you may think that looking at pornography is okay since you are not in a relationship. We have even heard singles say it is acceptable because they may never find someone and that is an outlet for them. But, Matthew 5:28 tells us that even looking at someone in lust is committing sin in our hearts.

Hebrews 12:4 says, ” In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. ” It is a sin, and yes, the Lord expects you to live a life free of pornography. Have you truly resisted in your fight with pornogrphy? To the point of shedding your own blood?

As a single adult male or female, one day you may find someone and enter into a relationship. Your choices as a single regarding lust and pornography will be an issue. Marriage does not fix lust and addiction to pornography.

It is a heart issue that needs to be dealt with immediately. If you need help with breaking this addiction, please visit xxxchurch.com for resources and internet-accountability tools. But, remember, there is NO internet accountability tool that can keep someone from finding pornography. But there is the strength of Christ to avoid seeking it.

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.” Ephesians 6:10

Take a stand in your heart and before God, then find an accountability partner to make it “Not an Option.” Make porn “Not an Option” in your life and walk in a new light, free from the darkness of pornography.

The Discipline of a Sacred Friendship

Sun, 09 Dec 2018 14:25:00 GMT

One of the few things that Hollywood has gotten right over the past few years is tapping into the “friendship effect” among young single adults. On any given evening, you can find numerous TV programs that depict a community of young adult friends (male and female) sharing life together as a “family” in a postmodern world; these shows may have different titles, but the setup is always the same. While the lifestyle and moral choices of these characters are certainly not Biblically informed, the fact remains they represent a generation of adults who are longing for committed friendships.

As Solomon once said, “there is nothing new under the sun” ( Ecc 1:9 ). Young adults have always faced the challenge of building healthy and supportive friendships. The story of Solomon’s father, David as a young adult, provides us with guidance for building friendships that will stand the test of time. The account of David and Jonathan describes a sacred friendship: a spiritually intimate relationship that transforms the life of each person and leads both to a greater commitment to the Lord and one another.

David and Jonathan’s friendship began with a strong spiritual connection: “…Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself” ( 1 Sam 18:1 ). While the two shared many common interests and had similar personalities, it was their spiritual connection as servants of the Lord God that sealed their friendship ( 1 Sam 20:42 ). In the same way, a sacred friendship must begin with a common faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and a mutual commitment to knowing and glorifying Him within the relationship.

Their sacred bond led Jonathan and David to be open and honest with one another. Jonathan’s father, King Saul, was intensely jealous of David and tried on several occasions to kill David. Eventually, the two friends had to part ways in order to save David’s life. In their final moments together, “David got up from the south side of the stone and bowed down before Jonathan three times, with his face to the ground. Then they kissed each other and wept together—but David wept the most” ( 1 Sam 20:41 ). These two “men’s men” were willing to express fears and emotions with one another at a level few friends ever experience. Sacred friendships are marked by honesty, transparency and “speaking the truth in love” ( Eph 4:15 ).

In John 15:12 , Jesus commanded his disciples to “love one another as I have loved you.” The soil of a sacred friendship is mutual love and compassion. When David was in Saul’s death grip, it was Jonathan who came to the rescue, despite his allegiance to his father: “Whatever you want me to do, I’ll do for you” ( 1 Sam 20:4 ). Sacred friends stand beside one another at all times and are always willing to do whatever is necessary for the well-being of the other.

The last characteristic of a sacred friendship is the result of a relationship built on a spiritual foundation, expressed in unconditional love and sustained openness and honesty. This is a description of covenant commitment. Even though David and Jonathan had drawn a formal covenant ( 1 Sam 20:16 ), their friendship was a testimony to the covenant before it was sworn. Sacred friendships persevere over time, trials, differences, and distance. Every moment in David’s life was influenced by his relationship with Jonathan, and David remained true to their covenant even after his dear friend’s death.

Sacred friendships are like rare jewels, but they are achievable. The challenge for all adults, but single adults in particular, is to fill the need for significant relationships by building the type of friendships that last. This is hard work and it takes time, but the fruit of your labor can make an eternal impact on your life. Who is your Jonathan?

Being Dad Through Divorce

Mon, 29 Oct 2018 14:14:00 GMT

Divorce is ugly.

Talk to anyone who is going through or has survived a divorced and unanimously they will say, even in the best of circumstances, divorce is hard. When children are involved in divorce, the stakes and emotions are even higher. From the day one spouse says the words “I want a divorce”, life and the marriage relationship will never return to the place it once was with unbroken trust.

Dads are by nature protective providers, and while not perfect, they strive to achieve the primal “hunter and gatherer” mindset. Maybe you are a dad reading this going through divorce. Regardless of the circumstances that led to this day, there are steps as a Christ follower that a father should take even in the challenge of a divorce.

Fight for Your Marriage

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. – Ephesians 4:23

Defenses go up, feelings are hurt, and a once promising happily ever after might fade into a nightmare. While your marriage will be shaped by the actions taken, it can be saved by the One who has saved you. In the midst of a storm is not the time to go silent and walk away. Be just as vigilant in loving the one you chose to marry as the day you went engagement ring shopping. Just as Christ forgave you for your sins and offered salvation through eternal life, you can offer forgiveness in the difficult times.

Be Present with Your Children

“We love because he first loved us.” – 1 John 4:19

Divorce can be embarrassing, humiliating, and defeating. All things men hate. This often causes men to retreat away from the relationships in the situation, including your children. They did not choose this path; do not punish the ones you held in the hospital the day they were born with the present situation. Custody battles are never “won”–only compromised like the relationship that was broken. Even if you no longer want to communicate with their mother, you need to love and respect her in the way Christ loves us.

Your Ex-Spouse’s Salvation Matters

“But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” – Romans 5:8

Ask yourself this question: Do I want to see my ex in heaven? To a Believer, this question should be a centering moment in how you proceed in your divorce and your life. Remember the reality of your present state in this world. The emotions are high, your anger may be running over, the circumstances may be out of control. However, as a Christ follower, you should still keep the Gospel in the forefront of your conversation and mind. Don’t “Jesus juke” to be spiteful, but let your actions be ones that draw people to God rather than turn from him. Your actions a Christian applies to your ex just as much as the believers who stand beside you in difficult times.

Being Mom Through Divorce

Fri, 07 Sep 2018 12:55:00 GMT

Divorce is nasty.

Mothers are by nature the ones who nurture and care for others, being the solid foundation of the home for all family members. Maybe you are a mom reading this going through divorce. Regardless of the circumstances that led to this day, there are steps as a Christ follower that a mother should take even in the challenge of a divorce.

Fight for Your Marriage

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. – Ephesians 4:32

Emotions overrun reality with every communication that happens with your spouse. The one who once used words to show you love, uses them to tear you down. While your marriage will be shaped by the actions taken, it can be saved by the One who has saved you. In the midst of the storm do not retaliate harsh words with even harsher ones. Be just as vigilant in loving the one you chose to marry as the day you said “I do.” Just as Christ forgave you for your sins and offered salvation through eternal life, you can offer forgiveness in the difficult times.

Children Hear our Words

“With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness.” – James 3:1-12

Words can be weapons. It is vital to your relationship with your children to take the high road and control conversations around your children. Let your words be ones that honor God and ones you will not regret. When the conversation becomes intense, steer your words toward love and deflect the conversation until little ears are not in hearing range. It will be hard. Nothing in divorce is easy, but you will be demonstrating to your children Christ’s love in the hardest of circumstances.

Your Ex-Spouses Salvation Matters

“But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” – Romans 5:8

Ask yourself this question: do I want to see my ex in heaven? To a believer, this question should be a centering moment in how you proceed in your divorce and your life. Remember the reality of your present state in this world. The emotions are high, your anger may be running over, the circumstances may be out of control. However, as a Christ follower, you should still keep the Gospel in the forefront of your conversation and mind. Don’t “Jesus juke” to be spiteful, but let your actions be ones that draw people to God rather than turn from him. Your actions a Christian applies to your ex just as much as the believers who stand beside you in difficult times.

A culture that hides death hides the Gospel

Wed, 15 Aug 2018 03:33:00 GMT

History lessons teach the impact of death prevalent in culture when death is removed. A look at the Middle Ages finds people lived daily with the reality of death. A look at our current culture reveals a much different cultural view of death story. The current American lifestyle not only doesn’t discuss death, it finds ways to minimize and remove it from our daily life.

An obsession with a youth-focused culture certainly is a major voice of today’s messaging. Another important factor? The lack of value and respect for previous generations. One example of the local church. Funerals used include more than a biographical speech. The usual funeral included presence at a cemetery and at the very least, on the way to worship, the parishioners passed a neighboring cemetery, a visual reminder of our fleeting, temporary life.

For singles, this is a compounded issue regarding the cultural view of death. Not only do you have all the factors of a culture ignoring the consequences of lifestyle and morals upon death, there is the added pressure of marriage. Marriage isn’t the finish line but an expectation of an event to occur in our youth and an achievement before death. However, this could not be farther from the truth. Being complete in Christ is not related to an achievement, but rather a commitment to follow Him despite the prevailing cultural view of death.

Choices to view death?

Death gives life perspective

For singles, your relationship status is momentary, not eternal. Consider when Jesus was asked who will be married in heaven.

Jesus replied, “You are in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God. At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven.” Matthew 22:29-30 (NIV)

Passages, when Jesus talks about how much we are valued, do not include the marriage relationship. Knowing the end result helps us to curate the life God calls us to live.

Death gives the Gospel a platform

When eternity is examined, the Gospel provides light in the darkness. In a moment of self-sufficiency people rarely reflect upon things greater than themselves or things to come. When death is discussed, it is a reminder of our temporary life on Earth, a reminder that gives urgency to sharing the gospel. To share with others that all should know him as Lord and Savior and welcome the gift to spend eternity with Him, not apart from Him. The realization of this will absolutely change the daily life.

Death shows Love

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8 (NIV)

Eternal love is not one engulfed in a marriage relationship. True, eternal love is a God who sent his only son to die for us so we would not have to spend eternity apart from Him. It was His atonement on the cross that is love eternal. Singles, do not let culture influence the way we value eternal love. It should always be based on a Biblical foundation.

Jesus was single too

A life fully lived is not defined by relationship status, but by following the will of God. Not only was Jesus single but several main characters in scripture were single or single during a season of their life when God used them. Take heart, our savior was and isn’t back the same life status. Single. Regardless of relationship status, God uses everyone on Earth to bring glory to his kingdom.

Grasping death gives Eternal significance to your everyday life. It is our hope and desire as a Ministry that all singles would follow God every day and share the gospel with everyone. One way to ensure your passion for God’s kingdom is to keep the temporary nature of our days at the forefront of your daily life.

I Fell in Love with an Atheist

Wed, 08 Aug 2018 13:55:00 GMT

There is no way to dice it or dance around it. I loved an atheist. I loved him with every fiber of my being. Had it not ended, I might have loved him more than I love God.

In total transparency, my ex still has a small piece of my heart, that tiny shoebox in the corner of a heart where first loves and tacos live. Our “relationship” was a roller coaster of poor judgment, horrible communication, brilliant times full of laughter, sweet sincerity, highs, and lows. Conversation rarely revolved around God but, when the topic arose, it was like a round of tug-o-war.

I didn’t know he was atheist when we first started dating. I thought he was simply jaded and wayward. He was a music director at a church, his family was deeply rooted and involved. Having been raised in the church, he knew the political childishness that can happen within church walls filled with sinful humans. It never crossed my mind that he didn’t, couldn’t, or wouldn’t share the same heartbeat for Jesus that I did.

When the truth came to light, the hopeless romantic in me believed he would return to God. I was in his life to help him see the light. It was all God’s divine appointment. I believed God put me in his life to help him. Deep down inside he had to believe, right?. He HAD to. Feeling we were meant to be together, I fervently prayed for his salvation. He opened a part of my heart that had been closed for a long period. I thought we couldn’t NOT be together.

After the last round of relationship lows, I realized what was happening. I had created a false god out of this man and our “relationship” (Exodus 20:3). I had put my desires, my heart, my treasures for this man over my desire for God. I was trying to serve two masters but failing the most important one (Matthew 6:19-24). I was delivering loaded selfish prayers to God and ignoring every conviction and warning sign He laid in front of me. It became clear. I knew what I had to do.

My prayers shifted to a focus on God. I prayed for God’s will and for God to either change his heart or knowing it would break my heart, take him out of my life. And it happened. My heart shattered.

I spiraled to a lonely place, feeling worthless, and angry at God. He had put all this love and excitement in my life only to rip it away. My conversations with God consisted solely of prayers for loved ones. None for me, not for my anger and broken heart. But He was there, waiting for me to be done with my temper tantrum.

I made the choice to trust and give my heart back to God. He handled the rest. My heart softened, I grasped two important truths:

1. God shows me countless amounts of infinite selfless love every single day. Every morning I open my eyes, I’m reminded of God’s eternal love.

2. My heart will mend because it belongs to the most trusted Physician.

When my ex moved on, I reflected on God’s protection from mistakes that could have had life long consequences. With God’s love, I made it through the heartbreak stronger and wiser. I thank my ex for the good times and being the one God used to show me I have the capacity to love at a high level. It’s the reason my ex holds a small place in my heart shoebox.

Now, I focus on building my relationship with God. Like any relationship we’ve had our ups and downs, but He’s always right there, always. He loves and guides me through every low and celebrates with me at every high. My relationship with Christ is the most important I have. Grounded in His truth, I know it is the foundation for all other relationships (Matthew 22:37-38).

-Crystal

Why am I single?

Tue, 31 Jul 2018 23:47:00 GMT

The question of why a person is STILL single starts with all the wrong questions and answers.

Why am I all alone? – “You’re not good enough”

Why have I not purchased a home yet? – “You need a house to be settled”

Why is dating so hard? – “Love just happens”

Why can’t I make friends? – “Everyone else is loved”

Why have I never been on a date? – “Your don’t put yourself out there”

Why am I not happy? – “You need a spouse”

Why can’t I be happy? – “You don’t have kids”

Why won’t I be happy? – “You aren’t doing enough”

Why are others happy? – “They have it all”

These are questions singles ask themselves and answer. The world around us has expectations of what it means to be happy, assume singles are not, and then speculates on the why they are still single. This happens in TV shows, expectations of dating and relationships in college, and the portrayal of boldness in solidarity, yet observes the emptiness of a dinner table set for one. The world will always set up measures of success and failure based on opinions and social norms rather than a solid foundation of truth.

When truth is relative, then there is no absolute truth. When there is no truth, then the definition or completeness is set by advertising campaigns and media.

As you therefore have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, rooted and built up in Him and established in the faith, as you have been taught, abounding in it with thanksgiving. Beware lest anyone cheat you through philosophy and empty deceit, according to the tradition of men, according to the basic principles of the world, and not according to Christ. For in Him dwells all the fullness of the Godhead bodily; and you are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power.

But, questions started in the wrong context will produce the wrong answers. As followers of Christ, we walk with Christ. We are to be thankful and on guard against the philosophies of the world that don’t line up with the will of God. The totality of Scripture demonstrates the value of human life, not the stages of human life. The number of kids, house, spouse, or financial stability never indicate the way in which God used His people according to His will.

God uses everyone who seeks Him and is COMPLETE IN CHRIST.

So what is the answer to “why am I single” afterall? Your worth is not dependent on the value of an earthly relationship status, but based solely on your relationship with God. 1 John 4 reminds us that God loved us before we loved Him, and as His followers we ought to love others in the same way.

Stop letting the world answer questions to your life. Then you’ll be living for Him and not the world. Answering the questions above look different in the light of honoring His glory.

Why am I all alone? – “You are never alone in Christ”

Why have I not purchased a home yet? – “This is only your temporary home”

Why is dating so hard? – “Let God direct your path, not eharmony”

Why can’t I make friends? – “You were made to live in Biblical community”

Why have I never been on a date? – “Dating is not in the Bible, mic drop :::here:::”

Why am I not happy? – “You were never promised happy, just eternity”

Why can’t I be happy? – “Your happiness is dependent on your perspective”

Why won’t I be happy? – “You place value on the wrong relationships, God first”

Why are others happy? – “A face is not the heart, only God knows the heart”

Mental Health and Allowing God to Use All Options

Thu, 12 Jul 2018 13:47:00 GMT

Your friends, family, and loved ones already know. They see it on your face every day, and hear it in your voice when you speak. The mental health struggle, once a moment, has settled into a season, and you’re not sure how to get out.

You pray. You read Scripture. You believe in a God who heals all things according to His will. You seek wise counsel. You go to small group. You ask for prayer, maybe not so specific. You go to Worship.

You still struggle.

Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.

1 Peter 5:6-7 (NASB)

One of the worst tragedies of depression, anxiety, or any mental health situation is you feel you struggle alone. But, don’t believe this lie.

God cares for you, and with Him as your Savior and protector, you are never alone. He also uses all things for His good according to His will (Romans 8:28). Sometimes the chemical imbalance of your body inhibits your personal ability to weather the mental health storm of a season. It is this exact moment where a decision has to be made for you or by you to accept all means of God’s given methods of treatment. Here a few things to consider when everything you have tried isn’t enough.

Seek wise counse l

It’s not a question of whether an unbeliever can be wise; it’s about seeking someone with similar values when addressing an issue. The person with whom you seek wise counsel should be the one who also shares the most important relationship in your life, Jesus. It’s not that we can’t glean information from those not following the Lord, but ultimately it’s from those who hold the same value system as you that wise counsel should be sought.

You’re not a failure for needing medication

God can absolutely use anything for His glory. The only caution is, do not medicate what you can handle, only what is no longer in your control. Just as when alcohol is addressed in Scripture, not losing control is the key. Set your pride aside and let godly wisdom and counsel decide if mental health needs should be addressed with medication.

Just a season, not a lifestyle

Maybe your mental health struggle is bigger than a season. For many it is a time where emotions spiral out of control, and it’s difficult to regain stability. When seeking help, consider it a mental health season where God uses those in your life and the resources of our current age to help.

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak…

1 James 1:19 (ESV)

For those not struggling with something mentioned here, be quick to hear and slow to speak. Sometimes our words do more damage than good when conversing with a struggling person. God can do anything. He may choose to use anything in any situation to achieve His will. For singles don’t let the lie of loneliness and incompleteness drive your situation to even greater depths. You are never alone in Christ and complete in Him alone.

The question isn’t if praying, reading, and believing is enough. The question is, will you let God use those means to help you in your mental health.

Feeling Alone in the Pew

Sat, 12 May 2018 12:00:00 GMT

It’s Sunday morning and you are off to church. You arrive on time for the worship service and slip into the back. Then, there it is. The happy couple in front of you with two kids and a dog at home with a nice home and great jobs. Just what you wanted to see when you came to church today, something you don’t have. This scenario can often exacerbate feelings of loneliness in church.

Instantly, your morning focused on God turns into what you don’t have.

Does this describe you?

Experiencing bitterness or jealousy in the Church pew should never happen, especially when dealing with loneliness in church. Christ tells us in Matthew 28 that He will be with us until the end of time.

So how is it possible to feel so alone in God’s house? Emotions can run high with anyone, but for those experiencing the issue of being single and wanting to be married, the littlest thing such as this scenario can spiral emotions to a place of loneliness.

Jeremiah 29:11 tells us God knows the plan for our lives, so we need to build up trust in that promise that completes singles in Christ. Trusting is hard–it takes work and time. But trusting God with the small things makes it easier and easier to trust Him with the big things.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
– Proverbs 3:5-6

Remember, in God’s house you are not alone. Stay focused on giving Him all the glory and praise and trusts Him wholeheartedly with your life. Worship is a big part of your spiritual growth; make sure that time is focused on Him and not on you.

Do I expose my old life to share with others?

Tue, 24 Apr 2018 14:00:00 GMT

“A single wrote into us asking ‘I really need to help another person thru their addiction… in order to provide inspiration, I have to share my past struggles… I am trying my best to let Christ rule my life, and I think I am surrendering to Him… my question to you is, do I expose my prior life as an example to the other person at a possible expense for me losing, in others eyes, or do I just go on with what my heart tells me to do? Please pray on this matter with me as it could affect not just his future life, but mine as well…'”

If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness.

2 Corinthians 11:30

Dear friend, we can tell in your question that whatever the affliction you had in your past was a painful one and not an addiction you share with most people. It does seem, however, that you have connected with this person and the Lord is prompting you to share with them your pain so that God may be glorified. As Paul said above, if you are going to talk about anything, why not make it those things that expose us for what we truly are, weak and sinners.

The view of those around you should not be based on your perfection, but Christ’s perfection! While we cannot tell you what to do, we can only suggest that in sharing your past you are allowing God to use what Satan meant for destruction for His glory. Try not to hide behind the sins of your past as your future is built of those successes and missteps. We are praying for you!

One Way To Grow Your Singles Ministry You Missed

Wed, 04 Apr 2018 12:53:00 GMT

Pregnancy centers, also known as maternity support centers, are commonplace now in our cities and towns. These centers of hope of a life yet to be born have contributed to the steady decline of abortions in the past decade. Churches and evangelicals alike praise their existence, from a distance. The sad reality of pregnancy centers are they lack volunteer and church involvement to see the family in need through all stages of their life, not just a pregnancy.

During a recent visit, the leaders of a local pregnancy center emphasized their desire to connect young mothers and families to the local church. These are Christian brothers and sisters on the front lines of saving lives, yet they feel alone in their battle. The sad irony of our pregnancy center leaders feeling isolated and alone as they reach out to mothers who feel the same should be heart-breaking to any Christ follower. Something has to change and it starts with each one of us. Nearly 40% of all families in our community are single parent families. Does your church reflect that statistic? To see single parent families connected to your church, here are some strategies for empowering our pregnancy centers beyond resources:

Connect with a Pregnancy Center

Not every church has a pregnancy center connection but they should. Establish that connection or find the one your congregation has and reach out to their leaders. While volunteering at the center may be where you feel led, we think everyone should be able to take the next step after connecting with a center.

Develop a Connection Pathway to Your Church

Pregnancy center leaders tell us that the amount of churches willing and committed to connecting these young mothers and families to a church is embarrassing. As a church community, we need to do more to empower these leaders with a pathway to a church home for their clients. Your church can distribute information about your congregation, but the most effective method is to go in person, meet the pregnancy center client with their permission, and greet them at your church when they come. We are talking about taking time to hold the hand of family and connect them to your church family, potentially changing changing their family lineage for generations to come.

So You Want to Grow Your Church?

Growth strategies for churches come and go, but the core messaging is the same. To reach people you have to go where people are! They will not come to you, and in our culture that is growing increasingly true as fewer Americans identify with church as a social norm. We propose this method of reaching into the lives of a mother and family in need is not only a Kingdom win, but one that will grow your church numerically as well. It may seem crass, but churches live in the reality of needing to add people to grow or they cease to be relevant. We think starting with pregnancy centers is a place where life change happens; would you want those lives in your church family?

In a generation when parachurch organizations can be very effective in reaching people where they are, churches have nothing to lose in extending an open hand. Worst case, the mother never visits your church but you shared God’s love and were welcoming. Potentially, one conversation and invitation could change generations of lives to follow Christ.

Single Myths: You’ll Know When the Right Person Enters Your Life

Thu, 29 Mar 2018 20:18:00 GMT

The falsity of the statement in this title reaches many levels. If you are a Christ follower, we’re sure you felt the same immediately as a single. Except the importance level, searching for a mate is no different than seeking and drawing closer to Jesus.

Building a healthy relationship, whether with Jesus or with a friend or with a family member, takes time and effort on the part of all parties. Although we know that Jesus is always present, our acknowledgement of Him, our conversations with Him and our study of His Word and ways are essential for a healthy, loving relationship with our Creator.

Seeking a healthy relationship for friendship or marriage is much the same. We must spend time with the individual to learn his or her morals, lifestyle, and beliefs. We must see the potential mate during his or her best of times and worst of times. In order to do that, we must make the time to connect and spend face-to-face time with the person. We cannot expect a godly, healthy relationship to come from texting, Facebook interaction or tweeting. We cannot think a long term commitment can be sustained on the initial attraction to the humor or physical looks of a person.

Spending time with the individual we see as a potential mate must encompass many situations and events. The actions and words of Individuals can be very different, whether in a group situation, a family situation or a one-on-one conversation. Think you’ve found the one? That’s great. Give the relationship the time to grow.

See the individual’s reaction to a bad situation. Watch the person’s moves when someone requests help. Are they involved in their church or do they walk through the door on Sunday but nothing more? Are prayers offered before meals? Is his or her Bible covered in dust on the living room coffee table? How does he or she treat your family members? Does he or she respect elders? Does he or she respect you ?

All these things take time to discover and nurture. Just as Christ wants us to get to know Him, grow closer to Him, our earthly relationships benefit from the same effort to ensure a long-term, healthy relationship.

Community after College

Tue, 06 Mar 2018 15:48:00 GMT

Graduation day has come and gone. Celebrations of “no more school ever” have faded and college room furniture donated to the next incoming student hopeful for the year ahead. Graduating college is a big day, the start of a new chapter in your life. Maybe you will move back home with your parents or have found a job in a new city. Wherever this new chapter in your life starts, it will start with new community.

Relationships forged in grade school have evolved and in college you found new friends that will be in your life for years to come. However, they, like you, have moved forward and now your schedule is more empty and there’s more time for Netflix than you care to admit. This leaves you with a question, where is my community? Here are some tips to finding your new community in your new chapter of life.

Get out there

You won’t find friends while watching TV or cat videos on Youtube. The starting point for community could be found online, through your co-workers, or a local church. Many singles struggle with just taking the next step, which is any step! For introverts this can be an even bigger struggle than the extroverts who are always throwing a party. Just like our relationship with God where we are called to ask, seek, knock, we have to be willing to go into the world to connect and find community with other believers.

Do things you like doing

You already have things you like doing. Bowling, shopping, pottery, hiking, board games, and all kinds of interest. There is something you enjoy doing, so why not do it for the Lord and find community with other Christ followers who enjoy the same things. It is much easier to make connections in a social group when you enjoy doing the same social things as the individuals in the group.

Try new things

You already have set yours ways after graduating college more than you realize. By your early 20s almost all of our habits have been formed, from eating to cleaning and social interactions. Maybe you hate tennis, but going to a tennis match with some new friends or even playing a match or two could reveal something you did not even know you liked! It is also a great way to share the Gospel by interacting with new people and experiences and sharing God’s love through it all.

This new chapter after college is an exciting one. See it as a way to continue growing and honoring God while engaging in community to become more like Him. Not all community is edifying, so be sure to make up the majority of your community time with those who share the same values as you, and use the rest of your time to share about God’s love. Take the unique opportunity you have now to be involved in community, to lay the foundation for years of community and relationships to come.

Single for a Reason?

Tue, 13 Feb 2018 01:34:00 GMT

Through my many years of singles ministry and working with pastors, one phrase is repeated often — “single for a reason”. It is the idea that singles are composed of misfits and odd ducks that are stranger than… married people. Next time you hear this phrase, here are some possible responses:

We’re all messed up

Reject rejecting language

Leadership matters

The reason you or a group of people are “… for a reason” is not due to a stereotype associated with a marriage status. It is due to a perception we allow to be pervasive in our churches regarding singles. Singles are a whole person. Jesus was single. Paul advocated for singles. We should start valuing our ministry opportunities rather than passing judgment on certain people groups in the family of God.

Wise Counsel

Thu, 18 Jan 2018 18:13:00 GMT

Who do you turn to when you have issues in your life? Your phone, social media, a co-worker, or friend? Have you considered the priority order of who you go to? Perhaps the sequence of seeking wise counsel reflects your spiritual maturity.

#1 Take it to God

“ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” – Philippians 4:6

#2 Take it to Wise Faith Counselors

“ Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” – Proverbs 15:22

#3 Take Action

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” – Joshua 1:9

Singles, you need to be complete in Christ to fully approach life’s challenges. A relationship with Christ is the foundational relationship for all others you have or may desire in your future. Live your life now in the way that honors God and places Him first so He may use you in mighty ways for the Kingdom.

A Broken Engagement = Broken Dreams

Fri, 12 Jan 2018 18:39:00 GMT

According to leading wedding industry averages, nearly one-third of engagements, unfortunately, result in a broken engagement before the wedding day. That means when the right one says “I do,” there is more work to be done besides the wedding details. Engagement is not a time to stop focusing on your relationship, but rather the time to dig deeper into the reality of a lifelong commitment before God.

Don’t make a lifelong commitment on a short-term relationship

While your dreams are broken, you are not

Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered.

Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. – Luke 12:7

Trust His plan not your plan

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord,

“plans to prosper you and not to harm you,

plans to give you hope and a future. – Jeremiah 29:11

Many singles have experienced an engagement that did not end in marriage. It is actually more common than expected. When stories are shared of past relationships, many can recount a very serious breakup or an ended engagement. Learn from the experiences in your life that may wound you, but never let them leave you broken. With Christ, you are never broken — you are complete in Him.

A Singles Thanksgiving

Wed, 01 Nov 2017 14:00:00 GMT

Thanksgiving for a single adult has some different nuances that married adults don’t have. For one, if there is family to be with, it is an easier decision to make to go see them than choosing which side gets which holiday this year. Singles, like married adults, may live in the same city as their parents or live miles and miles away, while some may still live with their parents.

But here is where Thanksgiving changes for singles. Those singles who don’t have a place to go for Thanksgiving are left over the holiday alone, with possibly no one to share it with. Even the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving can be stressful as everyone is talking about travel plans and big dinners, while some have no plans at all. Some singles with siblings are often given no opportunity to host Thanksgiving at their homes, rather the married family member gets priority. As the family grows, the single vote seems to be diminished somewhat to the siblings with spouses and kids.

The church you’re involved in needs to recognize these singles and organize some type of gathering for them leading up to Thanksgiving. You may be the one to organize such an event for your church. Also, there is an opportunity on Thanksgiving day for people to open their homes to those who have nowhere to be and offer them a seat at the table. If you’re a single adult with nowhere to be, let your friends know so they can bless you with a place to join in as family and give thanks to God above from whom all blessings flow.

Many Faces

Tue, 26 Sep 2017 12:00:00 GMT

Have you ever experienced great customer service? “Out of this world” kindness from a store or restaurant that compelled you to tell others about it on Facebook or Twitter? Now, have you ever wondered if the person that made that experience great was that same way at home as they are at work? Sometimes when people are paid to do something, they do it with excellence and exceed all our expectations. Truly serving another person beyond what is expected. But are those same people with great customer service the same at home as they are at work?

Two faces is an easy trap to fall into. You put on a face for work and then have a face for rest of your life, or maybe you have different faces for many areas of your life. Many faces for many people may seem to work for a short period of time, but over the long haul your faces begin to crack. The charade of faces becomes too hard to maintain and you become who you are, your real face. This can be seen in older adults, who have lived their whole lives and now are simply who they are without effort. Some are grumpy and mean, while others are sweet and kind regardless of their physical circumstance. Their true face is showing.

1 Peter 2:12 NLT “Be careful to live properly among your unbelieving neighbors. Then even if they accuse you of doing wrong, they will see your honorable behavior, and they will give honor to God when he judges the world.” When you have many faces, you are inconsistent and your walk with the Lord suffers. Others should be able to find no fault in you because of your honorable and consistent behavior. Phrases like “Live what your preach” come to mind as standard believers should have on their lives.

Shed your many faces so that your light may shine bright in this world. Be the same person at work, as you are at church, home, around family, and with friends so the Lord may be glorified in all that you do.

We Need the Fruit of the Spirit

Wed, 13 Sep 2017 19:08:00 GMT

Walking to your car after an eight-hour work shift, you are exhausted. You’re almost to your car when a co-worker decides it’s time to chat about life.

At first reluctant to enter the conversation, it becomes apparent this person is in need of help. They are living with two of the four children’s father and on the verge of moving out if things don’t get better. Both work every minute possible to provide for their children and even work second jobs to bring in extra cash. And yet the car she is getting into looks like something out of street racer movie and clearly is something that cost money to retrofit. Money they say they don’t have.

The co-worker mentions their jealousy of another co-worker and says others agree that it’s time to do something to remove that person from the workplace. Your talk ends with an invite to the bar with a few other co-workers wanting to relax and have a good time. You’re hesitant to go. Don’t want to appear to endorse the life this person is living. But you go. Your long day ends with added exhaustion and wondering as you pull into your driveway, “What just happened?” How is it possible for people to live so “in the flesh.”

“The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like.”

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.”

How is it possible for life to get to a place where every turn is chaos, and there seems to be no end in sight, devoid of the fruit of the spirit?

The answer is a life that lives in the flesh and not in the spirit is a life far from God. Yes, that seems harsh. But a line has to be drawn between what is God-honoring and what is not, recognizing the importance of the fruit of the spirit. What choices you make determines whether you are person honoring God through the fruit of the spirit. That is specifically what is happening in Galatians 5:13-26. Take a look and set your heart on honoring God this day.

Let Your Yes be YES!

Thu, 09 Feb 2017 11:09:00 GMT

Let’s be honest. Singles are horrible about waiting until the last minute to show faithfulness. After all, something better, more fun, cooler, even a date!– might actually come along. We wait to reply yes on Facebook in fear that if we say yes then a better offer might come along. Singles even often use the phrase “planning on it” as a way to say yes, but something could happen.

When the Sunday School list to sign up for breakfast next week comes around you pass it on because you have not even committed to coming next week to church. A mission event is posted to our Facebook group. It sounds fun but is it the best option? Maybe something else will come up before then and cause you to choose the other event over the missions outing.

Raise your hand if you’ve ever thought or done any of the above. We see you. We hear you. We’ve done it too.

We need to be seeking the Lord’s path. By not discerning the choice He wants us to make, we can risk our faithfulness. It is only with HIS strength that we can choose and choose wisely. When we are called and respond with a yes, deciding at the last minute that you aren’t in the mood or you’d rather go hang with that other group, is the wrong choice. Foregoing God’s choice for our own choice should not be an option for a Christ Follower. God’s Word is clear. We need to be followers of Christ that commit to our actions

When you commit to anything, do so like you are committing to God’s faithfulness. Learning to show faithfulness in the small things will result in being trusted to show faithfulness in the bigger things in Life.

Be like Abraham.

By faith, Abraham, when he was called, obeyed and went out to a place he was going to receive as an inheritance; he went out not knowing where he was going.

(Hebrews 11:8). (ESV)

Be a Person who commits to where they are at.

Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil. If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.

( James 4:13-17) (NIV)

Be a Disciple of Christ.

And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.

(Luke 14:27) (NIV)

Be a one word answer person

But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.

( Matthew 5:37) (NIV)

Say yes to the singles event. Say yes to the local mission. Say yes and commit, knowing full well that God has something big planned and you don’t want to miss it!

I Pharisee

Sat, 29 Oct 2016 20:16:00 GMT

When I look in the mirror, what do I see? When I ask myself the question, “How am I doing as a Christian?” What measure do I use to answer?

In Western Christian circles, the term “Pharisee” is normally used, particularly in a religious context, to describe someone as mean spirited, legalistic, and hypocritical. This is a caricature of a conservative religious group presented in the New Testament. When Pharisees are mentioned in the New Testament, the text often presents them in an unfavorable light. Jesus debates the Pharisees, rebukes the Pharisees, and warns His disciples (and everyone else) not to imitate the Pharisees.

Early in His ministry, Jesus confronted the root problem associated with Pharisaism, “You hypocrites, rightly did Isaiah prophesy of you: ‘THIS PEOPLE HONORS ME WITH THEIR LIPS, BUT THEIR HEART IS FAR AWAY FROM ME. BUT IN VAIN DO THEY WORSHIP ME, TEACHING AS DOCTRINES THE PRECEPTS OF MEN.’ ” – (Matthew 15:7-9)

In spite of these harsh words, the Pharisees continued to interact with Jesus and His disciples. This interaction, was honest enough that a significant number of this group accepted Jesus as their Messiah and became believers. We know this because Acts 15:5 mentions them by name, “But some of the sect of the Pharisees who believed rose up, saying ‘It is necessary to circumcise them [non-Jewish Christians], and to command them to keep the law of Moses’”.[emphases added]

This reality forces me to consider two implications. First, whatever feeds Pharisaism, in terms of mindset or worldview, survived the initial transition from Judaism to Christianity. This implies that Pharisaism is not restricted to unbelieving legalists, but is a real threat to believers today, even those who are painfully aware of their own need for grace. Peter, for example, falls prey to this influence, briefly requiring Gentile Christians to “Judaize”, live like Jews (Gal. 2:14).

Second, while Jesus linked Pharisaism to hypocrisy, that hypocrisy is inadvertent. Like Peter, most Pharisees (and “Judaizers”) are sincere in their desire to please God. This implies that Pharisaism is a deceptive error, not a willful rebellion, that causes us to act in ways contrary to the God we claim to serve.

The problem with Pharisaism is that it teaches cultural expectations as if they are God’s expectations. It encourages believers to evaluate themselves and others based on the vagaries of cultural expression instead of the “sure word” of God’s promises. It replaces conviction with social pressure and discipleship with social conformity.

So I ask again, when I look in the mirror, what do I see? If I am evaluating myself by how often I attend service, where or to whom I minister, or even how much I study scripture and pray, then I am looking at a Pharisee.

It’s ok if you’re wrong

Mon, 24 Oct 2016 17:54:00 GMT

Without guidance, people fall, but with many counselors there is deliverance. Proverbs 11:14

What a strange place for Christian unity to be right now for an evangelical. There was a time when the world made sense, when everyone, at least everyone I knew, voted Republican. We voted that way because that was the party that stood for the things we cared about. Things like being pro-life, protecting religious liberty, and promoting conservative values. We could, for the most part, agree upon the issues and the candidate that most reflected our values. There was a unity, or at least a majority, in our voting.

But then came 2016 and Donald Trump, and all of that assuredness about Christian unity flew out the window! Actually, for some it may have started prior to Trump. Whenever it started, now things are complicated. Now decisions are messy and, along with it, Christian unity that we once had appears to be all but gone.

Never-Trump evangelicals accuse Pro-Trump and even Reluctant-Trump evangelicals of being motivated by fear and/or hatred to vote for a man who has no moral bearing. Or being idolaters who would sell out their moral credibility to push for an agenda.

Pro-Trump and Reluctant-Trump Evangelicals accuse Never-Trump evangelicals of acting like Pharisees and demonstrating hypocrisy. They argue that no one is perfect and therefore we have to vote for the platform, and besides the alternative is just too horrible to allow it to happen.

The arguments fly back and forth. Posting article after article, tweet after tweet, position, counter position. And you know what? I think that, for the most part, it’s a good thing as long as we don’t allow it to form a wedge between us. I hope that the watching world can see us an example of brothers with differing opinions. A peculiar people that don’t shrink from disagreements, but a people, who through living in community and sharing opinions, can sharpen one another.

Many people will preach that Christians should always be unified, but throughout history that has rarely been the case. Even the early church encountered disagreements on multiple occasions. The book of Acts records many of these disagreements. The leaders of the early church had a problem with the way the gospel was being spread to the Gentiles. They had some real issues with both Peter and Paul, but they worked it out through listening to each other and addressing each other’s concerns, not by censuring all opposing views. Later Paul would disagree with both Peter and Barnabas but they worked it out each time.

I know that reading opposing views and sparring with my fellow Christians has made me introspective on more than one occasion. We can’t afford to live in a world where there is only one opinion, where all think alike. How will we even know if we are correct in our thinking if no one is there to challenge us?

The culture today cries out for “safe spaces” and cringes at trigger words. We feel insulted and belittled if someone challenges our beliefs or philosophies. But we need to hear a differing view. A “safe space” may separate us from feeling uncomfortable, but it won’t help us grow, it won’t help us to refine our position or our beliefs.

Of course, the most important thing is that we don’t allow our differences to tear us apart, that we don’t take it personally that someone might have a different opinion than us. Instead we should listen to others, consider their position and evaluate it against ours. This process will make us stronger, it will sharpen our minds, it might even cause us to reevaluate or change our thoughts.
Would you rather be delusional in your rightness or actually right? Would you rather argue from a position of strength, having considered all the sides of a position, or just comfortably naive in your positions?

So, let’s state our positions with respect, love, and concern for those who disagree with us. Let’s not resort to name calling and character assassinations. Let’s listen to opposing views with a desire to understand and evaluate, not with a closed mind. It’s the only way we can grow in our perspectives and sharpen our minds.

So listen and state your opinions with honor and respect. And remember, at least we aren’t as wrong as the evangelicals who will vote for Hillary right? ��

The Love Chapter

Sun, 24 Jul 2016 19:24:00 GMT

You roll out of bed on a Sunday morning at the last possible minute and arrive 15 minutes late to your local church small group meeting. Today’s topic is on 1 Corinthians 13, the “love chapter.” Great. You settle in for a morning talking about couples and love and how they can love one another. You’re not annoyed by the comment the teacher makes that one day this will apply to everyone, even singles.

But, you are just tired of feeling like you are left waiting for one more day.

Then after a time of worship the pastor comes to the pulpit and also preaches on the same passage. Already filling in the blanks in the bulletin, you hear the words, “The love in 1 Corinthians 13 is not about a wedding poem, it is about how love should be in the lives of everyone.” You perk up! The pastor continues his sermon, getting into the meat of the passage, explaining how to define love regardless of one’s life stage.

This love is the love anyone can have in Christ, single or married.

Your pastor gets it and your group leader gets half of it.

This passage is not just about a marriage love relationship, or about making a wedding ceremony sound all fluffy. It’s actually a hard passage about what it take to love as Christ has loved us.

Singles, you may not always feel like the sermon is about you. Sometimes we even are biased if it is not. But, if you are open to God’s word, regardless of the speaker, you will see a Gospel that values your life stage just as much as everyone else in the room. You are Complete in Christ and His love is more than enough.

Fear the Table for One

Thu, 14 Jul 2016 12:15:00 GMT

Fear is an interesting word. Its use invokes emotion from all who have known its grip. The sensation of helplessness is all too often the motivator behind fear. After a horror movie, fear comes from thinking about not being able to control things like you saw on the screen from happening to you as you drive home alone. In finances, single adult fear arises from the instability of knowing the future and striving to maintain control. In life fear often appears as worry of what is going to happen in the future.

As a single adult, the fear or worry of being alone often looms large. There is sometimes pressure from friends and family to find someone and settle down, worry over finances with only one income, and how to balance a social life that honors God and does not break the bank. Then there’s the daunting prospect of navigating the dating scene, amplifying single adult fear for those who choose to engage. What clothes to wear or where to even look for a potential date play a small part. Then you feel pressure to have nice things to impress the other person to make a “good first impression.”

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Matthew 6:25 NIV

God’s word tells us all of the worry is completely useless. It takes practice to ground this good habit into your life. But we must in order to show our trust in Him.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34 (NIV)

God desires for us to rest in Him and for Him to be in control. There is no reason to fear or worry about a table for one scenario as a single adult. Go out and enjoy life and do not worry about eating a meal alone or thinking you need someone by your side to enjoy life. As a Christ follower you are complete in Him. You have nothing to fear or worry about when you completely trust in Him.

Don’t Assume My Table for One

Sat, 02 Jul 2016 13:49:00 GMT

I love to eat out. In fact it’s one of my favorite things to do in my week. It’s not that I overeat, I just enjoy going out and tasting new things and meeting new people. I even include it in my monthly budget so I am responsible about my table for one dining experiences.

One particular night, I walked into a restaurant and ran into some church friends. They are not from my class but people whom I know fairly well. There was an extra seat at the table and then it hit me. I would really like to be invited and not have to be at a table for one this evening.

I usually embrace my table for one. I do it almost all the time and never think twice about it. But every once in awhile I don’t want to be at a table just by myself, and I want to enjoy the company of friends, family, and those in my life. It’s easy to assume a single adult is okay with their table for one, but the point is to not assume.

And that evening I felt alone more than I had in a long time because I wasn’t even given the chance to avoid my table for one.

Community is a huge part of our lives as single adults. Married adults, please hear me when I say we can be friends and there does not have to be a chasm between our lives. I know I’m at a different life stage, but let’s try and find some middle ground between isolation and the third wheel that is Biblical community.

Let’s love one another as Christ has loved us and never assume anything about one another. So, will you join me for dinner tonight?

Pushing Through

Thu, 30 Jun 2016 10:00:00 GMT

At times God places a vision inside your heart, or permits some difficulty into your life for your own good, or tells you to move to an unknown land (Genesis 12:1), or tells you to sacrifice your eldest son (Genesis 22)? (Well, not you. Abraham in this case, but you get the idea). Yeah…my instructor did that. Pushing through challenges becomes necessary in such moments.
I like the instructors that tell me how many reps or sets I have left, the ones that scream encouragement the entire time. Pushing through becomes easier with their support. Oh, and when I get really close to quitting, my favorite instructor will shout over the loudspeaker, “Don’t quit! Hang on in there! Summer is here! Remember your goals!” as though she can see me about to give up. I always make it through those workouts with no problem.

A new instructor, however, explained the exercise but didn’t tell us how long we had left, nor how many total were in the set at the beginning. Pushing through ambiguity was the real challenge here. She merely demonstrated the exercise, and said, “go!” The next thing I know, the music started to play, and I started moving. I went, and went, and then I got tired. And when I got tired, I started to rethink the activity.
I entertained the idea of quitting. “I can’t do this! If I stop, my muscles would stop burning. I could breath easier…oh, and the water!” Stopping sounded great. This instructor didn’t scream encouragement. She just said, keep going. What I really want is for her tell me how long I have left. Tell me how many reps. Tell me the time is up. Tell me something.
She didn’t though, and just when I decided I couldn’t do it anymore, she told me I had 30 seconds left.. then the activity was over.

When I arrived home, tired after the hard workout, I thought about God’s relationship with the Israelites. He led them out of Egypt (Exodus 13:18). Next, Moses led them through tough situations, but each time, they did what I did, or rather, I did what they did. Moaned, groaned and whined the entire time.

Moses, we are tired of eating this bread! Moses, where is God? We are thirsty! Why did He bring us out here to kill us? Exodus 16:2 (_____) Moses, Moses, Moses! Numbers 14:12 (Paraphrase mine) version)

In that gym class, I didn’t shout, “Moses!” I just stopped, which is likely worse. When the Israelites shouted their complaints to Moses, God’s anger “kindled” against them (Numbers 32:13).
Yikes. The anger of God is not something I want to experience. Fortunately, it looks like I don’t have to because Jesus accepted all of God’s wrath against sin on the cross. The thought of wrath is sobering. It communicates God doesn’t like grumbling. He doesn’t appreciate constant moaning and groaning in spite of the difficulty. In the face of physical, emotional, or mental distress, God prefers we simply trust, endure to glorify Him for His faithfulness. Then thank Him.

Even when He doesn’t tell us how much longer we have in the difficulty, or what the entire staircase in the climb looks like, when we just move forward in humility, in the light of His love, in respect of His sovereignty, He is glorified.

When the hard workouts of life hit, and you are being moved from milk to meat (Hebrews 5:12), remember God’s goodness and His previous display of love every step of the way, for He will deliver you from them all (Psalms 34:19).

Snip, snip. Ouch, ouch!

Mon, 27 Jun 2016 15:15:00 GMT

I have this problem called self-reliance. Lately, it’s been popping up in my prayers in the form of raw inappropriate confession. “I want to do this by myself!” “Why do I have to wait for you! Why do I have to trust you for everything! Isn’t what you have enough?”
Yikes. I know, right. But, before you click exit, you should know that I’m candid, not rebellious; besides, God knew it before I said it. Saying it rips away the facade. Verbalizing feelings tears away any pretentious mask, allows me to hear the unbelief that would have otherwise remained in the crevices of my fallible soul. Being blunt with God allows Him to deal with me in truth and since I’m so candid, I get dealt with…a lot, and lately, it’s about this self-reliance thing.
Self-reliance is a common weakness among the most ambitious of us. We like to compete. We like to know that we can do it. We tote around superhero suits in our bags, purses and briefcases. We don’t ask for help often; maybe not at all. We like to hide our weaknesses or work really hard at annihilating them with intense self-improvement and self-development hoping to be ever strong and awesome. Our good God sees the work we’ve done and, yep, the fruit we bear.
Then comes the chop of pruning! Snip snip! John 15 says that if you bear fruit, pruning happens.

Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. John 15:2 (ESV)

It comes again and again to those who are His–to those who hear and obey Him.
Snip! It comes upon those who call on His name, for our merciful God desires children who are not self-reliant, but rather God-reliant. He wants the fruit of our lives to yield glory to Him, not admiration to our own surname or to our superhero title.

After the Lord your God has done this for you, don’t say in your hearts, ‘The Lord has given us this land because we are such good people!’ No, it is because of the wickedness of the other nations that he is pushing them out of your way. It is not because you are so good or have such integrity that you are about to occupy their land. The Lord your God will drive these nations out ahead of you only because of their wickedness, and to fulfill the oath he swore to your ancestors Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. You must recognize that the Lord your God is not giving you this good land because you are good, for you are not—you are a stubborn people.” (Deuteronomy 9:4-6) NLT.

For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.” (Hebrews 12:6 ESV)

Allow God to do some necessary snipping today, and shift the gaze of your admirers and yourself to the truly Glorious One, Jesus.

Shoes & God’s Other Wonders

Thu, 16 Jun 2016 08:38:00 GMT

Whenever I ride the metro in Madrid, I look at people’s shoes. I know it seems weird, but I can’t help it. There are just so many varieties and colors, I can’t seem to take my eyes off them. Red shoes, big shoes, clean shoes, hiking shoes, running shoes, shiny shoes, work shoes, high-heeled shoes, muddy shoes, expensive shoes, old shoes, and even high-top shoes. Shoes can be powerful things. Marilyn Monroe is quoted as saying, “Give a girl the right shoes and she can change the world.” We all know it worked for Cinderella.

In the Old Testament, after rescuing them from slavery in Egypt, God miraculously gave the children of Israel shoes that never wore out for their long desert journey. Although this was a very practical provision for them at the time, God had another clear reason for doing it. Deuteronomy 29 says, “During the forty years that I led you through the wilderness, your clothes did not wear out, nor did the sandals on your feet … I did this so that you might know that I am the Lord your God . ” Would Adonai , the majestic Triune-God really use something as simple as shoes to reveal Himself to His people? It seems He would and did.

God also used shoes as an indication of His faithful provision and love for His covenant people. In Ezekiel 16, Israel is described as a parentless child who has been abandoned, naked and cold, in a field. He protects her until she comes of age and then takes her as his bride. Shoes form part of His marriage gifts and symbolize His commitment to protect and care for her always. They are made from the finest of leather. In the parable of the Prodigal Son in Luke 15, shoes are an indication of the privilege of sonship along with a fine robe and a ring for his finger. His new shoes publicly redeem him. His past is forgotten, all is forgiven, and he is restored.

Finally, shoes form an essential part of the armor of God for the well-equipped Christian. Paul, in Ephesians 6, was most likely describing the shoes Roman soldiers wore to battle. They were made of one leather piece, including the laces. They were also equipped with hobnails on the soles to give grip for climbing in difficult terrain. They were built to last, built for battle, and built for walking. In the same way, God fitted us with His shoes of eternal peace for knowing and believing the gospel. Let’s use them to accomplish His will in the world.

As you put your shoes on in the morning, don’t forget who you belong to or who provides everything you need. Shod your feet with the gospel of peace and run down every path God gives to you. Then…maybe a good pair of shoes really can change the world.

Being Single Means No Broken Heart

Mon, 13 Jun 2016 08:29:00 GMT

Movies portray the single adult as a free spirit and anti-dating all because he or she fears a broken heart. But the realities of a broken heart are nothing new.

In Genesis 29, we learn that Jacob works hard for seven years only to wake up the morning after his wedding married to Leah instead of Rachel, the one he loved. Outraged, Jacob must have been heartbroken since he had worked years for his true love only to have to work an additional seven to marry her.

God hears and heals the brokenhearted.Psalm 34:18
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

So is the answer staying single to ward off a broken heart?

We have all seen the love story play out in romance movies. The guarded single inevitably overcomes their fears and opens up to “true” love in their life. Being single does not exempt you from having a broken heart. It may, for a season, guard you from a romantic broken heart, but in this life, we will have trials and tribulations. (John 16:33) A broken heart can come in many ways. Loss of friend, loved one, or a promise broken by someone dear to you. Disappointment will happen regardless if you are in a romantic relationship.

Even God’s heart breaks.

The story of Hosea symbolizes a relationship of the the people of Israel with God. Hosea 11 describes God’s heart breaking over the things He has witnessed the people commit. His heart was broken. This and many occasions in Scripture speak to God’s broken heart by the actions of others against Him. But a broken heart is not the end, it is the beginning of what is to come.

God’s Love Wins.

1 Corinthians 13 masterfully spells out love and what true love looks like in a romantic relationship. God poured out His love on the cross while we were still sinners. (John 3:16) And we know love because we have His love in us and share it with others. (1 John 4)

So singles, if you are not dating to avoid a broken heart, you have it wrong. Broken hearts happen, but God’s love is there to mend your heart and show you love in ways you never knew possible, if you allow Him to reign in your life.

El- Roi: The God Who Sees You

Mon, 06 Jun 2016 08:00:00 GMT

And I will make my mountains into level paths for them. Yet Jerusalem says, ‘The Lord has deserted us, the Lord has forgotten us.’ Never! Can a mother forget her nursing child? See I have written your name on the palms of my hands. All the world will know that I, the Lord, am your Savior and your Redeemer, the Mighty One of Israel. Isaiah 49:11, 14-16, 26 (The Living Bible)

As a single, you are not forgotten by the God who sees you. Sometimes, when she gets engaged or when he finds his princess…just sometimes… it’s easy to let the mind roam. “What about me?” You wonder.

Bring your attention back to the truth: the God who sees you has not forgotten. You are in the palm of His hand.

You are seen by him. He knows your desires for love or for singleness. Your hopes for a family or for independent adventure. Your affection for another or your appreciation of solitude.

God is with you in each of these moments.

13 So[a] she called the name of Yahweh who spoke to her, “You are El-Roi,”[b] for she said, “Here I have seen after he who sees me.” Gen. 16:13 (Lexham English Bible)

Just as God saw Hagar and her child alone in the middle of a desert, remember, the God who sees you is watching over you.

Light out of darkness

Mon, 30 May 2016 07:00:00 GMT

Why do we have difficulties?

As followers of the Way, we are called to hard lives. Jesus is pretty clear. Carry your cross.

The more we traverse through scripture, the more plain the cross becomes. Lives of sacrifice. Lives where we choose others over ourselves. Lives where we believe and act as if others are better than ourselves. And, turning the cheek and humbly accepting criticism and persecution that comes with that territory.

No wonder the path is narrow.

What part of God’s character does this come from?

After wrestling with ideas of suffering and difficulty, ponder the fact that God is the Creator. Does God wants to show His glorious power by bringing light in the darkness? How can God create light out of light? (If anyone could, He could). When there is darkness in our lives: darkness in our minds, bodies, families, workplaces, homes, neighborhoods, is God’s creative power most abundantly expressed?

The Beginning
In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was formless and void, and darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was moving over the surface of the waters. …Then God said, “Let there be light”; and there was light. God saw that the light was good; and God separated the light from the darkness.…(Gen. 1:1-4)(HCSB)

For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ. 2 Cor. 4:6 (HCSB)

What if God wants to separate the light from the darkness in your life?

He can logically only separate light from darkness if darkness exists. Therefore, sin and evil in the world function as a part of His ultimate plan to redeem and show Himself most glorious and, for us, make us even more bright and beautiful than ever before, despite our stubborn will. The Sovereign Lord turns it all for our good by creating light out of the darkness of our stubborn will (For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 2 Corinthians 4:17 NIV)

What is the darkness you are experiencing?
Could you imagine what light will look like in the center of the situation?
Being the artist that He is, what light might He be growing in you as a part of His masterpiece?

The Width of My Hand

Fri, 27 May 2016 19:15:00 GMT

Honestly, I thought I had more time, more time to develop the best strategy and to muster the courage. If I would have just had more time to get my own issues figured out, my own life goals in order, THEN I’m fairly certain I would have been ready. I guess I was waiting for the perfect moment. But maybe that’s not it at all. Maybe it is worse than that. Maybe I just didn’t care enough. Whatever the reason, it doesn’t matter now. My high school friend is dead and I never said a word, not one word. I have no idea if she knew Christ personally or not. If she did, it was definitely not because of me.

The Bible admonishes us in Ephesians 5, “So be careful how you live…make the most of every opportunity…understand what the Lord wants you to do.” (CJB) As a foreign missionary, this is what my life is about each day. I pray for the people who exercise with me in the gym; I give a Bible to a store clerk; I ask my language students questions that will cause them to consider spiritual concepts; I explain redemption to a professional friend who doesn’t know what to do with her sin; I pray for opportunities to have Bible studies with friends who know virtually nothing about the Scriptures. How is it then I didn’t say anything to someone I went to school with for five years and have known for more than twenty?

There’s a Pink Floyd song called Time that spans the course of one life and marvels at what little impact it has had. Even before he realizes it, this man’s life has already wasted away. The lyrics say, “The time is gone, the song is over, thought I’d something more to say.” We do have something more to say as believers, and we need to say it before the music stops. We need to say it before ‘time ticks away’ as DC Talk reminds us. The Psalmist put it this way:

Psalm 39: 4, 5
“Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be.
Remind me that my days are numbered—
how fleeting my life is.
5 You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand.
My entire lifetime is just a moment to you;
at best, each of us is but a breath.” (NLT)

One of the last conversations I had with my friend she asked me what I was doing overseas. I told her I worked for a non-profit religious organization. But that’s all I told her. I have the deep peace and the love a merciful Savior to guide me, and that’s all I told her.

The width of my hand is about two inches. It doesn’t leave a lot of leeway for foolish, wasteful, fearful, or selfish behavior. May we all learn to love others enough to tell the truth before time runs out.

Authority of Scripture and a Game of Telephone

Fri, 27 May 2016 08:07:00 GMT

Sometimes, I like to play a little game with my students.

it’s called “telephone.”

The objective of the game is to transfer the same message from the front of the line to the end of the line. When we are ready to begin, I communicate the message to the first person, and then I let the message go!

Sometimes, when I check with the last person, the message got through…and sometimes… the message failed mid, or quarter-way through.

If I really want the message to transfer, I walk down the line and watch and make sure it passes the inattentive kid, the one who can barely hear, and the one who paraphrases things to the point of distortion. In the case of communication issues based on their tendencies, I repeat the message, louder, slower, repeatedly…by any means necessary.

This is how the Authority of Scripture has been upheld for us throughout the ages by the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit, ensuring the Authority of Scripture, walks from ‘person to person,’ overseeing the message AND those who transmit it: the apostles, prophets, teachers throughout church history, biblical translations, etc., preventing His message from getting ‘lost in translation.’

Just as I ensured my message reached the end of the line, the Holy Spirit safeguards the Authority of Scripture. If I am a human and can do this, How much more can the King of the Universe perform “telephone” in the span of human existence?

Right. Much, much more.

We can trust His message because we can trust the Messenger of all messengers.

————————

Then Philip ran up to the chariot and heard the man reading Isaiah the prophet. “Do you understand what you are reading?” Philip asked. “How can I,” he said, “unless someone explains it to me?” So he invited Philip to come up and sit with him. – Acts 8:30-31

But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come. – John 16:3

Having A Heart Ready for His Word

Wed, 18 May 2016 21:28:00 GMT

John Piper’s article, “ Satan Takes the Word ” from DesiringGod.org resonates as it explains the parable of the sower. In the explanation detailed in the above article, Piper tells his audience how to prepare their hearts for the Word. It is tremendously valuable; I advise you to read it. It is in reflection of that article that I pose the following question: how do you prepare your heart for God’s Rhema Word? If you follow the reference link, you will find that rhema is the insight/knowledge/message that the Holy Spirit would like to speak directly into your heart personally to direct, lead and encourage you. How does one prepare for such personal communication from the Holy Spirit and when it comes, are you willing to be led?

I am like a donkey, I kick my heels in and find myself “ kicking against the goads” pushing against the very One who loves me the most in this season of singleness. Sometimes when my heart has not been properly watered, lacks nutrients and hasn’t been recently tilled, my heart refuses the One I love, Jesus, emphasizing the importance of tender heart preparation. Yet, during this season, nothing is more important than leaning into the comfort, the love, the affection and the validation of the One who loves me more than everyone on the planet combined.

In my exploration of what it means to have a tender heart to the Lord, to be willing to obey, to have the desire to please Him and to say “yes” every time His beckoning calls, I must prioritize tender heart preparation. (My heart has heard you say, “Come and talk with me.” And my heart responds, “LORD, I am coming.” Psalms 27:8 NLT).

Here are a few things I’ve noticed about permitting the tenderizing process of my heart- from stone to flesh- emphasizing the significance of tender heart preparation.

We were all born into iniquity. None of us are righteous. Since we still live in the flesh, we have to daily choose our spirit man over our flesh (refer to Galatians 5:17 below). The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions.

To win the fight, obedience to the Holy Spirit’s leading is required, and to achieve a transformational obedience, a fertile, ripe, and ready heart’s is necessary. When we have a tender heart, we are most ready to receive the rhema Word of our Heavenly Father who leads, guides and orders our lives.

Galatians 5:16-18 16 So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. 17 The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions. 18 But when you are directed by the Spirit, you are not under obligation to the law of Moses. (NLT)

Romans 8:14 For all who are led by the Spirit of God are children of God. (NLT)

Did I Make a Mistake?

Fri, 13 May 2016 21:15:00 GMT

rusting God in challenging times, my plane landed in Central Asia in the wee hours of the morning. After training, I couldn’t get here fast enough. This is where I felt called to and had been working towards for a long time. It was finally happening. I was joining the work of taking the Good News to the nations.

I piled my four VERY heavy bags on a cart, and basically skipped to the exit to meet my mentor. I was so excited to meet her. She dropped me off at the guest flat and told me she would pick me up in the morning to attend an office luncheon where I would meet the rest of the team. I was ready to hit the ground running.

The “guest flat” was in a dilapidated Soviet apartment building, and I was nervous to stay by myself. However, updated my Facebook status (you know, first things first), and settled in…. And then.. it hit…

I started sobbing. I’d never felt more alone, trapped, or scared. Doubts and fears flooded my heart. Three years suddenly seemed like an e-t-e-r-n-i-t-y. After texting with one of my mentors, I fell asleep two hours later. It would be better tomorrow, right? Nope…more tears. When my mom called, I tried to disguise my emotions (because, you know, moms can’t see through that), but I wept. I felt like a child again, being held by her momma. And through her, God held me. She didn’t tell me to come home, instead reminding me I was right where the Father wanted me, trusting God in challenging times. The first two weeks I could barely talk to anyone without crying. I even struggled to comprehend the Word through the jet lag, culture shock, and roller coaster emotions.

A local Believer shared with me she thinks we are often like the Israelites. She explained that although God parted the Red Sea to deliver them from the Egyptians and lead them to the Promised Land, they were grumbling about the mud on their feet. Okay, so the part about the mud is not in the Word, but there are plenty of accounts about the Israelites grumbling about other things.

This made me reflect on the grace and love He has shown me. He has done miraculous things in my life, demolished seemingly unmovable strongholds, and surrounded me with amazing supportive friends and family. And yet, I was struggling to trust. God never promised comfort or ease, but He does promise that He will NEVER leave us. I am NOT alone. Evidence His hand facilitated my journey to Central Asia, trusting God in challenging times, is apparent. He led me here, He has a plan, and He will sustain me. Those first few days brought me to my knees, but it is the best place to be if I’m kneeling before Him. I’ll always remember His first Words to me in this country – “Wait for the Lord; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord.” Psalm 27:14

Wholehearted Devotion

Mon, 04 Apr 2016 12:00:00 GMT

Are You All In?

Being “all in” is who I am and proud to be. I am not sure when it happened, but sometime after my ministry call hit me, I decided to be a man who made his Yes be Yes and his No be No. Like Matthew 5:37 tells us, I decided to follow God and be all in for whatever He planned for my life.

At 19, I hadn’t been on a God-directed path. My life was good, and I was a moral person, but it was not sold out for Christ. I now recognize if this life is to be one lived for Him, I need to be willing to go wherever He leads.

It’s not all roses being all in. I have moved all over the country following His path. During the journey and through several jobs, I was blessed. Each step was a learning experience. While God had me moving around, I dated some. But I mainly focused on preparing for the something great God had in store for me.

Shortly after I married, that something great lead to unemployment for six months. When I could find work, it was still not enough to pay bills. For a year I couldn’t even afford to pay housing for me and my wife. Job offers were slim and while some got close, they all fell through. In the back of my mind, I wondered if paid church ministry was ever going to happen again for me. Then, the path lit up.

Within the course of three months, I was called to launch Table for One Ministries. Not to pay bills, but to do what God called me to do, to reach singles. A few months after that (and after yet another move), I was employed again at a church. A month after, we were able to purchase our first home. Within the year, we were blessed when our daughter was born.

When it was the darkest, I cried out to God and asked to be shown His path. He made the way clear.

Through the ups and downs during these three years, I have been told countless times I should have more gray areas, and be less rigid with my choices. But James 4:13-17 is my driving force for being bold today and everyday.

“Now listen, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.’ Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, ‘If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.’ As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil. If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.” (NIV)

Let it never be said that I was unable to follow God wherever His path lead, no matter the risk or costs. Sin should never happen as a result of us not listening to the Lord’s direction. I want to be one who asks first to be shown the Lord’s will, and when He says go, I move.

Silent Christmas Morning

Mon, 07 Dec 2015 02:58:00 GMT

A single parent has to live with the reality of the first Christmas without the kids. The glow of the Christmas lights from the tree is the only warmth that fills the room. What started out years ago as a joyous holiday morning filled with traditions has disintegrated into court documents dictating where kids will spend the holidays. The fridge is empty as there is no need for a great feast and delivered pizza is left over from the night before.

A silent night is full of joy, a silent morning full of sorrow.

Single parents, we understand your holidays are not Norman Rockwell paintings and yuletide cheer from singing around the fireplace. Even if you are the one with the children at the holidays, there is still something missing around the tree. Divorce is approaching 50% for America couples. This statistic means that one out of two homes on your street have this type of Christmas. Even for singles who have not experienced divorce but adopted become a parent find that missing “something” in the air on Christmas morn.

Your Church Needs to Reach Single Parents

In churches everywhere, Christmas Eve will be a candlelight service and singing to a Savior’s birth to come. But, how often do leaders stop and realize just how many people in their audience are experiencing the above-mentioned scene just hours after they leave the church? Will your Christmas Eve service have childcare provided? After all, that single parent in the pew is doing their best just to get everyone gathered to arrive that evening. What a blessing it would be if the preschool hall were open for them to have a moment with the Lord. As the kids get older they can engage in that worshipful time, but how will you minister to the younger families?

You Need to Seek Out Single Parents

Your church needs to have a plan to connect single parents into the life of the church. Singles groups are a great way to do this. Singles without children can help fill the void of a missing parent for that single mother or father that joins their singles group. Another great way to support single parents is connecting the parent to married adult families. The point is to have a way to connect single parents in every ministry in the life of your church. It is worth it! Keep in mind nearly half of the families on your street are experiencing a silent Christmas.

God Needs to be the Focus

The key to every single family is to remain focused on God. When you gather for the holidays, be cordial to one another and reflect the love of God to your children no matter how bad the situation may be with the other parent. Single parents, you know personally what it’s like to share your kids with someone else.

Treat the situation with love by remembering God sent His only Son into the world to share Him with us so that He paid the price of sin on the cross for the world. He gave His only Son through a virgin Mary. You know those emotions and need to remember and apply the love this Christmas.

Single Parents Keep Traditions Alive

A final word of encouragement–keep family traditions alive at Christmas. Even if they have to be modified or the ex may not participate, keep traditions strong. If you have adopted children, pass down your traditions and start new ones.

Everyone remembers holidays traditions growing up. Establish pleasant memories for your child. Keep the Christmas spirit alive.

Parents, we don’t promise things will be easy. Life is hard. Surround yourself in the Love of God and find His strength in those around you.

Cautious Compassion: The Syrian Refugee Crisis

Mon, 23 Nov 2015 21:55:00 GMT

He we are again. Caught in the middle of a raging debate that has quickly divided and then devolved into name calling and demonizing our opponents. On one side you have the zealots who are calling for a complete shutting down of our borders to keep out the crazies insisting that ISIS is hiding thousands of jihadist amongst the refugees bent on our destruction. On the other side you have calls for throwing open the doors in the name of Jesus and letting everyone stream in without regards to a responsibility for the personal safety of those we are called to protect. They try desperately to paint all refugees as widows and orphans driven from their homeland. And if you disagree with either side you are either and ignorant US-hating liberal or a people-hating bigot.

If ever there was a need for a middle ground this is it. And I believe this is where we would find our Christian faith. To be fair, I think that despite what we hear from either side, this is where most of us would fall. We need to find a way to show and demonstrate compassion for the hurting and displaced, not just because we are called to love everyone, but also because the US bears a huge responsibility for creating the refugee crisis in the first place. But this post is not about that.

We need to come together and find a way to aid refugees that includes allowing them to come to the US, but also looks for ways to help them stay in their home land. This is where they grew up and where they will feel most comfortable and at home. I believe that the US needs to be more aggressive in defeating ISIS so that there is no need for these poor people to leave theirs homes.
I realize that the US is a great place to live, and I am thankful to God that I live here, but I don’t believe that many people really want to leave everything they have and everything they are used to, journey tens of thousands of miles to travel to a foreign land with strange customs, where they will be looked upon with suspicion just because there is a Starbucks on every corner. If we believe that, we truly are an arrogant people.

That being said, we must show compassion and love for a people being driven from their homes. We must be a part of making sure they are cared for and given provision until we can make their homeland safe again. However, we should strive to do it in a way that sets up common sense protections for the people living in the US. We know that ISIS was successful in sending fighters to France. We can’t and shouldn’t deny that, but we also must not be ruled by fear or crippled by the complexity of the task before us. We must act, and we must act quickly. In order to find a solution, we need to come together. Stop the name-calling and senseless divisive rhetoric.

The Single Parent Family Defined

Mon, 26 Oct 2015 21:39:00 GMT

The contemporary family of today cannot be defined as a nuclear family consisting of a mother and father and children. Families come in different sizes, different ways, and many consist of one parent. Single parents are no longer defined in only one singular category. Single parents come from varied backgrounds, generations, and socioeconomic settings. Single parents can be categorized in four broad categories that define and more accurately refine the way in which they became single parents: widowed, divorced, through adoption, and child out-of-wedlock. Each of these categories will be defined below.

As single parents now make up nearly 40% of all parents in America, the local church needs to consider this statistic. A healthy and growing church that reaches families should reflect its local community’s demographics of its local community’s demographics. This should result in a church that incorporates single parents of all categories and whom have children in preschool, elementary, middle school, and high school.

Ministerial staff need to understand their local church should reflect the demographics around them to include single parents. The result of this reflection is building a discipleship platform of which a single-family home can participate in the same way as a nuclear-family home. This includes curriculum, finances, and time commitments that have often been geared towards a traditional family with two parents present.

The first category of single parents are single mothers/fathers by divorce . In the United States, the divorce rate fluctuates around 50% for all marriages. It is very hard to find a reliable statistic for this information as many surveys collect data differently. So Table for One Ministries will average those findings to 50%. Of those divorces, one statistic is for certain–the average age for a first divorce is 30 years old.

Secondly, single parents are defined as being a single mother/father by being widowed . The average age for the widowed is now 57 years old, meaning it is not just elderly who are widowed. Single parents are widowed as well.

Single parents are thirdly defined as single mother/father by child out-of-wedlock . With the average age for marriage rising to 29 for men and 27 for women, and the rise of socially-accepted sexual relationships, it is again easy to see just how many parents fall into this categorization. Furthermore, almost 14 million unmarried parents live alone with their children–10 million mothers, 1.7 million fathers, and 1.9 million couples.

Lastly, single parents are defined by single mother/father by adoption . Adoption can come in many forms and event countries. Single parents who adopt may do so from the foster system, a known relative in need, or by surrogate. On the rise in this category are same-sex attraction couples who are Biblically single and looking to have a family. Same-sex attraction couples amount to 3% of the general population, but are increasing their adoption rates. The key principle to apply in the local church is not all single parents became so by sinful actions. Some make a conscious choice by loving a child through adoption.

Single parents are not just mothers and fathers . In fact, over 820,000 grandparents are the primary caregivers in a child’s life in America, a statistic that is rising. People affected by single parents are everywhere. Single parents may include a broken family from a sixteen and pregnant female to the person in their forties whose spouse abandoned them and their children. Custody battles are often drawn out and expensive, with little positive results, leaving children who are hurting and looking for a place to be loved.

Every church community is affected by single parents, and churches need to create environments where the single parent and the children raised by single parents can be reached. So how does your church create welcoming environments for this wide variety of single families?

Dating by the Numbers

Mon, 05 Oct 2015 13:50:00 GMT

There are over 54 million single people in the U.S. Let’s take a look at dating by the numbers.

— 50% of New York state adults are unmarried, making it the best state for single people.

— 48% of singles say they have Googled someone before the first date.

— 2% of men and 9% of women have found a relationship in a bar.

— 40 million Americans have tried online dating.

— 80% of men will date someone 5 years younger.

— 48% of breakups in on-line relationships happen via e-mail.

— 15 minutes is the average amount of time it takes to make a first impression on a man. For a woman it takes an hour.

— 12% is the chance a guy will call, if he hasn’t called in the first 24 hrs..

Knowing some of these should also encourage you as you look to date someone. The statistics of so few people finding someone for a relationship in a bar is yet again evidence that clubbing and drinking do not equal relationships. Also, men, it seems to take less time to decide whether to continue pursuing a woman than time needed for a woman to decide on her interest in a man. So, men, give her time to “get there” if she is interested!

So what do you think?

Single Myths: They Fear Commitment

Mon, 21 Sep 2015 21:44:00 GMT

She has a commitment issue. He has a phobia and can’t commit.

If you’re single you’ve either heard it once or a million times. Or, perhaps you’ll admit that you’ve thought it about another single–that guy or gal who says no to marriage, no to a long-term relationship or who seems to jump from one relationship to another without a care for the feelings of others.

For some singles, this may be true. But for the majority, their life has shown otherwise.

Every one of us knows at least one single who is on a mission, whether local or abroad. Maybe you are part of a singles group that spends its free Saturday giving time and effort to bagging groceries at the Food Bank. You’re the single mowing the neighbor’s lawn because they are sick or on vacation for a long period. You may be the single who is willing to pitch in where needed, even if you have a long list of personal errands that needed to be done. These lives reflect Galatians 5:13:

For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. (ESV)

Serving takes commitment.

Singles commit to jobs, some requiring more than a full-time schedule. We purchase houses and cars that require a monthly payment schedule. We commit to a budget that includes fulfilling God’s calling to tithe to our church, to give to the needy, to support a child in poverty.

Living takes commitment.

We connect with others and develop friendships that call us to work hard to treat one another with kindness. And, to keep healthy family relationships, we commit to nourishing one another, supporting and loving one another just as Christ commands us in John 13:35.

A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. (NIV)

Relationships take commitment.

And, most importantly, Believers commit to God’s plan for His kingdom. We adjust when He calls for change. We say Yes, when he calls us beyond our four walls of comfort. We commit to make a difference. We run the race He calls us to in Hebrews 12:1b.

And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,… (NIV)

Faith takes commitment.

The lives of Christian singles reflect that not only are we committed, we’re open to God’s plan in our lives. Don’t fall into the trap of believing you aren’t or that another single isn’t committed. It’s a myth.

Head in the Sand

Mon, 17 Aug 2015 12:57:00 GMT

“I sometimes indulge in avoidance by sticking my head in the sand. It’s comfortable down there. Especially around the 1st and 15th of the month when I have to sit down, write checks and pay daunting companies for the services they provide out of my already low bank account. Indeed. Punching numbers and paying the Piper has lost its joy these days, but not paying the Piper brings unwanted rats into my life. As I sighed one day in annoyance at the consequences of my sand-like habit of avoidance, I wondered why I did it. I knew that such evasion would mushroom into a big ugly stink, but I burrowed my head anyway.

How many times do we stick our head in the ground when we know there’s something unpleasant to battle or face in our lives? Whether it be a bill collector or a secret sin, avoidance only amplifies issues and prevents us from dealing with the situation at hand. As singles, avoidance is easy to do. We have a choice to invite people to hold us accountable, to call us out of the sand or to be silent and stay in it. However, when we lift our eyes and face the facts, we obtain clarity, structure, healing, teaching, encouragement, and whatever else, and usually more than, we need, avoiding the trap of denial. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” 1 John 1:9 (NIV). The alternative to our heads in the sand is to keep our eyes open, our heads up and pay attention.

How many times have you made an error because you weren’t paying attention? Overpaid? Missed a deadline? Said the wrong thing? Heard the wrong thing? Undercounted? If it’s easy to miss things in our everyday visible life, how much more could our spiritual, invisible lives suffer detrimentally due to the lack of attention?

Fortunately, our Father already knows what we need and has provided it for us in the form of His Word. Hebrews 2:1 encourages us to pay close attention to the Word: “So we must listen very carefully to the truth we have heard, or we may drift away from it” (NLT). The truth of the Word is a tidal wave washing away the sand from our lives.

Attention requires discipline, which isn’t pleasant at first. But after a while, reaps a harvest. Hebrews 12:11 says, “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” (NIV) Training requires focus and attention. God’s word tells us to focus and fix our gaze upon Him and when we do that, we will reap a harvest of righteousness and peace. If we discipline ourselves and accept the discipline from our Heavenly Father, we will bear more fruit “ He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.” John 15:2 (ESV)

If you and I lift our heads, gaze on Him as we face the discomfort, the things in our lives which threaten the status quo and require obedience and sacrifice– if we just face those, I believe our lives will be made better by He Who washes away all dirt.

Be An Adult

Mon, 10 Aug 2015 04:17:00 GMT

http://thefederalist.com/2015/01/27/dont-wait-for-your-wedding-to-buy-a-kitchenaid-and-other-ways-to-embrace-adulthood/

So when do you become an adult?

Is it when you get keys to your first car at age 16?
At 18 when you can make your own legal decisions?
At 21 when you can legally drink alcohol?
When you move away from home?
When you get your first job?
When you can pay all your own bills?
When you get married?

Defining adulthood is nothing short of impossible. The idea that an age, ceremony, or responsibility defines adulthood gives no target of what it means to be an adult. So we find adults of all ages acting like children and youths acting like adults, blurring the lines of defining adulthood. So maybe the best way to define being an adult is to say it is a mindset.

Paul, while talking about love, speaks to knowing true love by laying down the things that made him a child and acting like an adult. James reminds us that we are but a vapor in this life and time is short so we need to ask the Lord what is His will for our life. ( James 1:13-17 )

Maybe adulthood is what Paul asserts happened when we realize this life is a vapor as James explains, prompting us to ponder the concept of defining adulthood. A mindset of adulthood embraces the reality of time ( 1 Corinthians 13:11 ). Time that has passed and is passing and will not always be present. One way to see this is by decision-making, a crucial aspect of defining adulthood.

What was it that made you say “I’m an adult now”?

Father to the Fatherless

Mon, 13 Jul 2015 11:47:00 GMT

At Table for One, we acknowledge that the children of a single parent often experience a feeling of emptiness for a missing parent, longing for a Father to the Fatherless. This void is a direct result of God’s plan for every child to have a mother and a father to raise that child in the way he or she should go. But when God’s model family does not happen, children are left missing a parent and often filling the void with worldly things.

Psalm 68:4-7 says: “Sing to God, sing praises to His name; Lift up a song for Him who rides through the deserts, whose name is the Lord, and exult before Him, celebrating His role as Father to the Fatherless. A father of the fatherless and a judge for the widows, Is God in His holy habitation. God makes a home for the lonely; He leads out the prisoners into prosperity, only the rebellious dwell in a parched land.” For children seeking a missing parental figure, God is the missing relationship they yearn for as the parental authority who offers advice, love, admiration, correction, and kindness.

Not only is the missing relationship filled with God, but the loneliness that comes with being in a single-parent home is lessened as well, knowing God’s presence as Father to the Fatherless. These passages are applicable to both parent and child in that both must turn to God for strength to fill the void. In a nuclear home, this void is not often as acute if both parents are following Christ and reflecting His image. So in many ways, a single-parent home that seeks to follow the Lord can fill the void of a missing parent with God’s abundant love.

God is Father. So do you think He can be a Father to the Fatherless and how so? How can the church focus on reaching single parents and minister in this situation?

Who Pushed That Button?

Mon, 22 Jun 2015 12:39:00 GMT

I want life to come easily.

One night I even wrote a song about it entitled, “Won’t it Come Easily” as I meowed myself to sleep like a cat licking my wounds, wishing life’s difficulties and love and job came with the giant Staples Easy Button.

News flash: No Easy Buttons can be found in the reality aisle of life.

A few examples of facing life’s difficulties:

Have you ever wondered what a Staples Hard Button might look like? I can imagine it covered in thorns. I can imagine Satan had access to it when he approached God’s throne asking for permission to harass Job. At the end of the dialogue, Satan pushed the Hard Button, and God allowed it!

Pause Button. What’s that about?

After Job’s first round of turmoil, God proclaimed that Job, a man with integrity, would not deny His (God’s) name. Indeed, Job did not: “In all this, Job did not sin by blaming God.” (Job 1:22 NLT)

Later in Matthew, when Jesus contradicts accusations of him teaming with Beelzebub, He does so by first pointing out how illogical it is that the Father of light would team up with evil. After mentioning the unpardonable sin, He continues by saying that “anyone who speaks against the Son of man can be forgiven.” (Matt. 12:32) NLT

Job was considered a man of integrity because he did not speak against God even with the presence of life turbulence. He did not call God evil; and what God calls Himself in Mark 10:18, “no one is good except God alone” means that God is not the operator of the Hard Button. God did not introduce evil and sin into the world–Satan did. God is the giver of Life. Believing this is essential to recognize He is good and the rewarder of those who diligently seek Him (Hebrews 11:6)

When we shake our fists at God in seasons of drought and deep desire, we are acknowledging life’s difficulties as the author of evil in pantomime. When we fall silent and stop praying, in our hearts perhaps we are proclaiming, “God you are doing this to me!” If we doubt His love for us when He calls Himself love, if we say He commits evil when He says that He is the Author of only good, we show a wavering faith.

But God forgives and restores us when we falter and blame Him for being the sole proprietor of the pain in our lives and the world.

In the midst of life’s difficulties, we must remember to acknowledge God as He calls Himself: good.

Even when the Hard Button is pushed down, God is not only good, He is good TO US. He loves each of us individually, personally and intimately. Believing this fundamental truth will carry us through life’s difficulties.

Single Myths: Singles Have More Time

Mon, 18 May 2015 11:48:00 GMT

We all have 24 hours in a day.

Now, let us be clear. Singles do not have more time than married folks, but our interests are not divided as much as those with a spouse or kids, allowing us to focus on undivided devotion to God. In 1 Corinthians 7:32-35, Paul said we all have the same amount of time every day and our priorities drive decisions on how we will use that time.

I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife—and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.

Singles are often glamorized by the married adult world as being “free” and able to go on missions “anywhere, anytime.” While this glamorization is extreme, there is truth in that married adults often have more obligations that single adults. Marriage is a big deal. Two people become one and no longer is your world “I” but “we” and, with kids, it is “us.” Paul is addressing that issue by stating what we all know to be true about the importance of undivided devotion to God. It is a very real issue that faces every couple and family.

Divided interests in a man’s life can take away from their opportunities to be used by God.

One thing to point out is Paul is single as he write this. We think he loved being single! Being single allowed Paul to travel and spread the gospel with an All-In obedience to Him. He did not have to worry about family at home or traveling with him or the commitments of a marriage relationship as some of the apostles had.

So the myth that singles have more time is based not in measuring days, hours, and minutes, but rather in wholehearted devotion to God and not having divided interests of emotional, spiritual, and actual “time.” Undivided devotion to God is key.

Singles, use your life in undivided devotion to Christ. This is why we say “Be Complete In Christ” at Table for One Ministries. A person fully devoted for the Kingdom can do more than those whose attention is divided. Dedicate your each day to the Lord and live for Him.

Catfished Relationships

Mon, 04 May 2015 10:01:00 GMT

Relationships started on a lie are a lie.

We watch on TV where people pretend to be someone else in order to “win” a person over. Doing insane things they don’t like all for the sake of being who the other person wants them to be. But here is the problem with that: lies built on lies are like the foolish man in Matthew 7:24-27 who built his house on sand only to watch it be swept away. His foundation was non-existent because he thought knowing the truth was good enough. He never put Jesus in practice. The foundation was all wrong.

“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.”

Having a life that is Complete in Christ is one built on solid ground. Being catfished is not something MTV discovered about humans. Catfished is when a person lures another person into a relationship based on false pretense. In Genesis 27, Jacob, prodded by Rebekah, “catfished” Esau to fall for one of the biggest switch-a-roos found in scripture. Esau’s stolen blessing is no different than the online profile that shows only a close-up face view and loosely describes the left out parts.

Living a fake life is an easy trap to fall into. One can have a work persona and and act totally different during life outside the office. Do you know someone that has different lives and different dating styles depending on who the person is looking to “catch”? Dual lives may seem to work for a short period of time, but over the long haul cracks will begin to show. The charade of faces becomes too hard to maintain and eventually the true person, not the one portrayed to others, is revealed.

“ Be careful to live properly among your unbelieving neighbors. Then even if they accuse you of doing wrong, they will see your honorable behavior, and they will give honor to God when he judges the world .”

1 Peter 2:12

When a person has many lives, they are inconsistent and their walk with the Lord suffers. As Believers, others should be able to find no fault in you because of your honorable and consistent behavior. Catfishing another person only leads to disaster.

Be you. All the time. Never catfish again.

Racism and Dating

Mon, 20 Apr 2015 11:41:00 GMT

Let’s talk about it.

Interracial dating or dating your native race can be a big deal. Regardless of skin color, interracial dating a person of a different nationality or ethnicity may lead to a point of contention. Cultural experiences shape us into who we become whether we admit it or not. Events experienced at a young age, from the toys we play with to the friends we have, from family interactions to relationships outside our front doors–everything we’ve been through shapes who we are and influences who we date.

Racism is real .

Racism is nothing new. Racism is a belief or doctrine that inherent differences among the various human racial groups determine cultural or individual achievement, usually involving the idea that one’s own race is superior and has the right to dominate others or that a particular racial group is inferior to the others. In Scripture we find story after story of oppression to the nation of Israel ( Exodus 1-15 ) as well as the Hebrews being racist to other cultures like the Philistines. Outside the Hebrew religion, it was even said of Jesus, “What good could come from Nazareth?”, his hometown. ( John 1:46 ) The Samaritan woman at the well is another example exhibiting racism. Her people did not associate with another culture. ( John 4:1-26 )

However, the Bible is not racist.

The Bible is about unity and love.

God became man for all to inherit the Kingdom of Heaven. ( John 3:16 ) The Gospel is to be taken to everyone in the world, not just a selected few. ( Acts 1:8 ) We have been shown love on the cross, so should we love one another. ( John 13:35 ) It is through loving one another that we see God’s love and know HIm better. ( 1 John 4 )

So what does the Bible say about the issue of dating outside one’s race or ethnic background?

“ Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”

– 2 Corinthians 6:14

It all comes down a common factor of fellowship with one another in Christ. Not race. This is the Believer’s foundation for all relationships in life. Being joined in spiritual community is vital to select a person to date and perhaps even marry one day. There are many factors involved in a successful relationship, but spiritual unity is priority number one. Not race.

It is not about race.

Choosing who you date, especially when it comes to interracial dating, should be a decision based on God’s will for your life. That does not ignore the fact that dating someone from another background may have its challenges. It may be a harder relationship in many ways than dating someone within your ethnicity, but it is not one to be avoided simply because of a difference in culture.

In fact, many of the challenges associated with dating people of other backgrounds has nothing to do with the couple and everything to do with their families’ dynamics. Families often struggle with acceptance issues more than the couple. To help close the gap, the foundation of the relationship needs to be about Christ, not about race.

First, each individual in a relationship needs to be Complete In Christ before adding another person to his or her life. When the foundation is in Christ, the decision of who to date or marry is not based on racial issues, but on firm ground laid by the one true King.

Regardless of race, or background, or history, dating always has challenges. If you feel called to date, let Christ lead you, instead of allowing the influence of family or social norms choose a potential mate.

Can I Ask God for a Spouse?

Mon, 13 Apr 2015 11:50:00 GMT

This question is one we get from time-to-time at Table for One Ministries. Usually backed up by Matthew 7:7 . Ask, seek, and knock, and it will be given to you. So, is it okay to make a prayer for a spouse?

One summer’s day the sun was beating down on the Texas earth and a single adult was out playing ultimate frisbee with some friends. Hot as it was, it was nice to be outside with friends and meeting new people. In the middle of the game at the height of a tied game, he said, “I wish I was married.” Not even knowing where the emotion came from, it was tossed aside and focus went back on the game.

In the evening as these friends gathered for prayer time, the verbal statement overwhelmed the discussion and the prayer list. When it happened, the group prayed for spouses.

It is not a problem to engage in a prayer for a spouse, in fact there are verses like Matthew 7:7 , James 1:1-9 , and Psalm 21:2 that encourage this. Here is the defining emotion in this type of prayer request:

Are you praying for a spouse to be complete, or for the “icing on the top” in life?

What we mean is, a spouse is nothing you need to be complete. The Apostle Paul and Jesus were very good examples of that! It is merely the little extra something that life has to offer in one aspect of your life.

For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and in Christ you have been brought to fullness. He is the head over every power and authority. Colossians 2:9-10

For this group, the response was clear. Although they found completeness in Christ they wanted to be married. And, although marriage would not define them, they still voiced the desire to be married.

This one spoken desire grew into a well-defined group prayer until the day God divinely placed potential spouses in the lives of this group of friends.

This was years in the making, not just one simple prayer. So yes, make a prayer for a spouse if the Lord has led you to be married, but live a life that is Complete in Christ so that He will receive the glory in all things you do.

So, do you pray for a spouse?

Am I Still Single Because I’m Fat?

Mon, 06 Apr 2015 11:33:00 GMT

Over 34% of Americans are overweight according to a recent Gallup Poll. Singles who are overweight might ask themselves these questions often:

Am I still single because I am overweight?

In a men’s Bible study a group of single guys sit together and share about struggles in their life. The conversation may start with small issues, like trying to pray more and do better with finances. Then a bombshell drops. The quiet guy in the group who has not spoke much for the last three weeks says he has thought several times of killing himself because he is so large no one will ever date him. With tears in his eyes he goes on to describe ridicule over the years from “pretty” people and being bullied in high school. He ends his emotional prayer request with a simple statement. “Can the group please pray a girl will find me attractive?”

Be Complete In Christ, nothing else.

God wants you just as you are. There are no requirements to accepting Christ as your Lord and Savior, except acknowledging you are a sinner and that you need Him. Accepting Christ makes you complete. Not a physical appearance or a relationship, only Christ.

Media and society push through advertisements, news and even shows that those who find an earthly view of success and have happy relationships are often the “beautiful people.” Buying into this lie only elevates an expectation in life that can never truly be met.

God already thinks you are beautiful. He said so when He created man in Genesis.

You are single because it is His will.

As a Christ follower you allow God to direct your path in the directions you may go. Luke 22:42 urges us to let His will be done and not our own. Staying on His path for your life may lead you to be single forever or for a season. Either way, follow His will. And while not the focus on this blog, that will is for you to be a steward of your body and treat is as a Holy Temple. God wants you to pursue a healthy lifestyle, including physical health, to honor Him and the temple He gave you, not simply to attract a mate.

Quickly after the above mentioned single pleaded his prayer request, a guy in the group who worked out the most often and could easily say he was in good shape expressed his thoughts on the situation.

“Bro. if good looks and working out was all it took to find a women, would I be in this group still?” His comments, while breaking the tension in the air, were well taken.

Outward beauty is not the key to finding a spouse. God is.

6 Ways to Know if You are Ready to Date

Mon, 30 Mar 2015 21:30:00 GMT

Six Signs You are Ready to Date!

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. John 14:6

The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Col. 3:13

All these questions cannot be answered in the span of a few dates. Hopefully, you’re praying for the relationship and looking for God’s direction on whether to continue pursuing the relationship. As you spend more time with a potential mate, have an open heart but be mindful of “red flags.” Don’t brush them aside. Be proactive in obtaining the answers you need to find a lifetime partner.

3 Reasons Your Singles Ministry is Failing

Mon, 23 Mar 2015 11:54:00 GMT

Years ago, the prevalence of singles ministries was widespread, but now many are facing singles ministry failure. Every church had one, and it was seemingly exciting and attractive to the community. Then something happened–they all started to disappear.

First there were no new people entering singles groups. Many married from within the group and simply by attrition the ministry dwindled in numbers as it failed to reach new singles. Secondly, others fell into the trap of not looking outward but inward finding that they struggled too much with themselves to even reach others. A third type of singles ministry was a hybrid of the two, resulting in the ultimate singles ministry collapse and leaving behind only those deemed ‘single for a reason’ amid the singles ministry failure. You all know what we mean by that! The group was left with unhealthy people and healthy people do not want to join unhealthy groups.

So, here are three things your singles ministry may be doing to set the group up for failure.

# 1 It is not about Christ

# 2 Singles have no community

# 3 Singles do not serve, they are served

The Solution: Have mission events often. Really. Often. Your singles group needs to be just as aware about the next mission event as they are aware about the fun retreat you have planned. Share pictures from the event and personally invite individuals to your upcoming mission event. Delegate an event to someone and watch your group take charge to reach the lost and show love to others in need.

WANTED: Tall, blond, skinny, blue eyes, from the south with a college degree…

Mon, 09 Mar 2015 11:24:00 GMT

Singles, in Christian dating, we all have “types” when it comes to dating. From even a young age, everyone has an ideal person they think they should date. At a young age, the toy market pushes the “ideal” image of the opposite gender to children. By the time we reach a dating age, we gravitate towards someone without even realizing we have developed a vision of the person we want to date.

But where is God in all of this Christian dating journey?

Yes, attraction is important but that attribute alone should not limit what God has in store for our lives. It’s okay to be attracted to a person and experience the desire to be with them physically, emotionally, and spiritually, but if we are guilty of focusing on the first in this list and never consider if the other two attractions align with God’s will, we will miss God’s plan.

The issue we have with online dating, besides the profits companies make from singles looking to date, is the focus on physical attraction more than anything else. In the early 2000’s, a website called Hot or Not existed with only photos of people and everyone voted on whether the individuals were hot or not. For readers a bit younger, this was the precursor to the app Tender that did the same thing using a Facebook profile picture. Physical attraction is what society makes a priority on whether to date someone or not.

But in Christian dating, God does not prioritize physical attraction alone.

Yes, God wants us to be attracted to one another, but more importantly He wants us to be “equally yoked” with one another.

Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?What accord has Christ with Evil? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? (2 Corinthians 6:14-15)

Our type needs to be God’s type–who He wants for us.

As Believers that means dating other Believers. This is one reason singles groups are a good thing in a healthy church. They give singles a place to connect with other Believers. Although it is not why they exist, it is one benefit.

Singles, look for attraction in others when dating that goes beyond physical attraction. Dig into the emotional and spiritual connection you have. Dating allows a Believer to learn if someone is equally yoked with you in all ways and not just one.

Let your “type” be honoring to God and deeper than a list of physical features, accomplishments, or achievements in one’s life.

A Biblical View of Masturbation

Mon, 02 Mar 2015 12:50:00 GMT

Recently on ask.fm Table for One Ministries was asked, “Is their a Biblical view on masturbation? Is it ever, okay?” Well, that’s a question that could have a volume of responses. So we are going to do our best to respond to the main theme of this question: Does the Bible have a stance about masturbation?

No. The Bible does not reference masturbation. Matthew 5:28 does talk about lusting in ones heart and often masterbation acompanies these thoughts. It does reference “seed” but never in the context of the question presented. However, it is assumed that many times in the Bible where prostitutes are mentioned that masturbation was happening, and since the fall of man, living in a sinful world, it is an issue. The Bible does however speak about sin, addiction, and turning to the Lord in your area of weakness.

“And He said to me, ‘ My grace is sufficient for you,

for My strength is made perfect in weakness .

Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities,

that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

2 Corinthians 12:9

In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.

Hebrews 12:4

For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

Romans 7:7-25

As awkward as the topic is, masturbation is a big issue singles face. Is it okay? Can I really stop? What if I never get married? All of these questions and more arise as singles fight against that which Paul talks about in 1 Corinthians 7:9 when speaking of “burning with passion.” Having a sexual drive is not a 100% reason to get married. In fact, if you read all of Chapter 7, Paul is almost sarcastic in words about getting married to fix your “passion” problem. Reading further in Chapter 10, Paul says:

No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

1 Corinthians 10:13

You will not be tempted beyond what you can bear as a Christ-follower. There is always a way out. Masturbation is not a necessity, it is a means to an end. The final judgment of whether it is a sin or not lies between you and God. If it is an addiction or something that stands between you and God, it is a sin.

So to our anonymous question-asker, we hope this gives some Biblical grounds related to the issues of masturbation. Always remember the greatest commandment: Love God, Love Others. Make sure everything you do aligns with that core commandment.

Politics and Dating

Mon, 23 Feb 2015 12:19:00 GMT

Do you date outside your political views?

The current hostile political environment in America can affect dating relationships. We’ve heard stories of first dates asking what political party their potential mate is affiliated with. Christians in America are guilty of making a person’s political allegiances dictate their relationship interactions. For that matter, so are non-Believers.

When politics is added to dating, it becomes an even more high stakes game of selecting a life partner.

If you choose to date, politics can matter.

However, that does not mean you cannot date outside of your political party. Political camps have their own values and core issues they tend to address. These are something a person agrees with when they align with a party. However, their political affiliation does not entirely define who they are as an individual. Very rarely do people agree 100% with a political party. Political parties are simply too large an organization with an ever-changing agenda. And, it may be that a person selects a party based off one issue dear to them and that important value drives their political selection.

So which party is the correct one?

We are a 501c3, meaning we do not and never will endorse a political party. Regardless of this legal restriction, we would not favor one political party, because we select something even more important.

We select God’s Word as our allegiance.

The correct choice has always been and will always be to follow God’s Word. Both major parties in America have Biblical stances. Yet, both have views that are not found in Scripture or even mentioned in God’s Word. Instead of having a political conversation in a dating relationship, the better conversation is how each of you align with God’s Word.

God’s Word is the Final Word.

We know happy couples that vote opposite parties in every election, some married for decades. Some choose to make it an issue of debate, while others eliminate political talk altogether to avoid confrontation. The happy medium in political issues is to seek God’s Word first and have the common ground that God’s Word is the final authority on all issues. The Bible may not directly speak to every political situation, but its values certainly gives guidance to all situations.

Politics and dating can be an issue in some relationships. The importance should be placed on being equally yoked with one another.

“ Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness

have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”

– 2 Corinthians 6:14

It boils down to the common factor of having fellowship with one another in Christ as the foundation for all other relationships. Being joined in spiritual community is vital to select a person to date and perhaps even marry.

There are several factors to consider when dating, but one thing is certain–do not date based on political allegiance.

Date based on spiritual allegiance to Christ.

The New Single Majority

Mon, 02 Feb 2015 12:08:00 GMT

In 2014 the Bureau of Labor and Statistics released information stating for the first time in the history of collecting their data, singles outnumbered married adults in the workforce.

More than half of the workforce is single!

While many news agencies ran with this data the wrong way saying that “adults” are more single than they are married, we at Table for One would like to interpret this data correctly for what it is. These stats reflect 16 and older as single, yet hardly anyone but a government agency would call a 16-year-old single. With the average age of marriage for men at 29 and women at 27, it is fair to say that when we say “single” we often mean those that are not married and that categorization is singles roughly 21 and older. That does not mean this data does not have implications, it does!

# 1 Employers need to be “single” friendly with benefits.

# 2 Attendance rules need to be fair regardless of your relationship status.

#3 Personal Issues while at work.

#4 Not all singles are lonely. Stop trying to play office matchmaker.

These are four ways employers can embrace the new single majority workforce creating a positive place where singles want to work.

Do you think there are more advantages to having more singles in the workforce or not?

Being Single is the Best: No Worries

Mon, 19 Jan 2015 12:29:00 GMT

Okay, maybe not. I admit singles have worries just as much as married couples.

But being single is pretty awesome when it comes to having less stress. Not everyone will agree and depending on your personality, this may not be the case. For example, I’m sure single parents do not have less stress! But, from the perspective of being a single adult, I’m happy with my life. I think being single is great!

Sure we all have issues and stress from work and general drama. But as a single adult I can go home after a long day and answer to one person. Me. I eat when and what I want to eat. My choices are not based on another person’s interest or preferences. I plan vacation around what works for me and spend money on things I consider a priority.

If you’re reading this and thinking I’m self absorbed, I assure you I am not trying to be. I volunteer for missions whenever I want to and give to local charities. I am passionate about, and even volunteer, in preschool hall at my church. As selfish with my time as I can be, I am also able to be just as generous with my time with no divided interest.

When it comes to being a follower of Christ, I can also be fully devoted to Him, giving my time, resources, and energies for Kingdom work. When I read Matthew 16:34 , “ Then Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me,’” I think, I can do that right now where I am and don’t need to consult another person. I am a fully devoted follower of Christ, able to go where and when He calls me.

While none of us are free from the troubles in this world, John 13:33 says we have the opportunity as singles to be free of other troubles just as Paul talks about in 1 Corinthians 7:28 .

I think being single is the best because I have less worries than others and more opportunities to lay down my cross and follow Him in all I do.

Singles Lose at Christmas

Wed, 24 Dec 2014 12:07:00 GMT

Where will your family celebrate Christmas this year?

As the days zoom past before Christmas, families across the country start discussing where Christmas will take place. For some, this is easy. There is a set location and family gathering time regardless of any other circumstances. For others, a tug-of-war begins between single and married siblings.

Singles often lose at the holidays when they have a married sibling in the family. It’s likely that Christmas is where the married sibling is or it could be whoever has the most children. These conditions often leave the single adult with nothing as a leverage chip for family to travel to the single’s house. Family members may say it’s less expensive for the single to travel to the larger majority. Sure it is “cheaper” for one person to fly, but proportionally as a single adult a plane ticket can mean a big hit to the budget with one income vs two. The expense can impact for months leading up to and after the gathering.

Singles, be encouraged that even if your family doesn’t travel to you and your budget doesn’t allow you to go to them, you have Framily, a family of friends, who are eager to gather for the holidays. And even if your budget allows the travel, there’s nothing that says you have to wait for blood relatives to celebrate.

Don’t save all the holiday cheer for only the relatives. Decorate and invite your friends over. They’ll appreciate your effort, especially during this time of year, which can be lonely for many.

Organize a white elephant gift exchange and invite your friends for a dinner, or even simple snacks. It is a great way to give other singles a taste of the holidays at your home and opens your ability and opportunity to minister to them. Often, the non-Believer will enter the hospitable house of a friend before they enter the doors of the church.

Have Christmas at your place! Even if it is not with your immediate family. You and your Framily will have a blast at your place!

An Eternal Perspective on Worry

Fri, 10 Oct 2014 10:00:00 GMT

I Love Jesus.

Jesus Loves Me.

I’m Going to Heaven.

Simple right? But how many hours do we worry over paying bills, our retirement accounts, and having nice cars? All for what? As born-again Christians, Matthew 6:25-34 is clear how we are to feel about this life. If you want to know more about being a “born again” check out our Am I Alone page on our website.

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (NIV)

I Love Jesus

Christ died on a cross and rose again as an atonement or payment for our sins. “We love because Christ first loved us.” 1 John 4:9 (ESV)

Jesus Loves Me

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have life everlasting.” John 3:16 (NIV). God loves you. Jesus loves you. When you have accepted Christ you receive life everlasting.

I’m Going to Heaven

“I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand.” John 10:28 (NIV). Christ followers have assurance they will spend eternity in heaven despite our sin, despite our worry.

Life is hard. Things happen. Worry creeps in every way we turn, and we struggle over and over until we worry about worrying! John 10:10 is a simple and powerful reminder to live with less stress and as God wants us to live–abundantly!

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” – John 10:10

Between Separation and Divorce

Mon, 06 Oct 2014 11:03:00 GMT

Between Separation and Divorce, there is the:

Opportunity to focus on Christ. Do you move forward with divorce? Seek wise counsel. Look to His Word and as 1 Thessalonians 2:16 instructs us, pray continually.

Opportunity to grow your relationship with Christ. Dust off your Bible and dig in. Look for verses to strengthen your heart. Seek His comfort.

Opportunity to volunteer. The adage that helping others will bless you may never be truer than if you are wallowing in the aftermath of a separation.

Opportunity to pray for healing the marriage. No matter how angry or hurt you may be, Malachi 2:16 reminds us God hates divorce. Step back from emotions and be certain where God is sending you.

Opportunity to reconnect with friends and family. If you don’t move into the light, depression will set in. Call the friend you haven’t seen in a year. Spend time with that aunt you haven’t seen for months. Gather your hugs and support where you can.

Opportunity to learn from mistakes. When every option leads to a broken marriage, take time to assess the damage. It may be financial. It might purely be emotional. But changes will happen.

Opportunity to seek counseling. DivorceCare, even while only separated, can offer clarification and practical advice. Many churches offer wise counsel and group support for this difficult time. Take advantage of any chance to heal and grow in a safe environment.

Opportunity to honor God. Matthew 6:33 tells us, “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” (NLT) This is not a time to seek a new partner. You are not single and hanging out in social environments geared towards singles is not wise.

The Beta Marriage: How Millennials Approach ‘I Do’

Mon, 06 Oct 2014 02:23:00 GMT

Repost from Time Magazine

You could say I beta-tested my relationship.

It’s a joke, kind of — except that when it comes to millennials and marriage, the beta test may be par for the course. And really, why wouldn’t it be? For a generation reared on technology, overwhelmed by choice, feedback and constant FOMO, isn’t testing a marriage, like we test a username, simply … well, logical?

The findings of a new survey certainly reveal so. In conjunction with a new television drama, Satisfaction , which premiered on USA Network last week, trend researchers asked 1,000 people about their attitudes toward marriage. They found all sorts of things: among them, that people cheat on the Internet (uh huh), that young people don’t think their relationships are like their parents’ (of course), and that everyone seems to have taken to the term uncoupling (yuck).

They also uncovered a surprising gem. Buried in the data was the revelation that almost half of millennials (43%, and higher among the youngest subset) said they would support a marriage model that involved a two-year trial — at which point the union could be either formalized or dissolved, no divorce or paperwork required. Thirty-three percent said they’d be open to trying what researchers dubbed the “real estate” approach — marriage licenses granted on a five-, seven-, 10- or 30-year ARM, after which the terms must be renegotiated. And 21% said they’d give the “presidential” method a try, whereby marriage vows last for four years but after eight you can elect to choose a new partner.

In total, nearly half of all of those surveyed, ages 18 to 49 — and 53% of millennials — thought marriage vows should be renewed, and nearly 40% said they believed the “till death do us part” vow should be abolished. In other words: Beta marriages! Unions you can test and deglitch, work out kinks or simply abandon course without consequence. “This is a generation that is used to this idea that everything is in beta, that life is a work in progress, so the idea of a beta marriage makes sense,” the study’s author, Melissa Lavigne-Delville, tells me. “It’s not that they’re entirely noncommittal, it’s just that they’re nimble and open to change.”

It’s not a new concept, entirely. In the 1970s, the anthropologist Margaret Mead predicted the growing popularity of “serial monogamy,” involving a string of monogamous marriages. Helen Fisher, the biological anthropologist, has advocated for much of the same: she believes humans aren’t meant to be together forever, but in short-term, monogamous relationships of three or four years. Stephanie Coontz, the author of Marriage: A History , has advised a marriage contract “reup” every five years — or before every major transition in life — “with a new set of vows that reflect what the couple has learned.”

More recently, Mexico City lawmakers proposed (unsuccessfully) a “renewable” marriage concept, whereby couples could simply renew or dissolve their unions after a period of two years. It’s not so unlike the setup described by a young writer in a Modern Love column in the New York Times last month, about how she overcomes “marriage anxiety” by renewing her vows with her husband every year like clockwork. “I think people are indeed trying to avoid failure,” says Andrew Cherlin, the author of The Marriage-Go-Round .

And, why wouldn’t they? The U.S. has the highest divorce rate in the Western world. The data show clearly that the longer we wait to get married the more successful our marriages will be. And it’s not like we can’t move in together in the meantime: the rate of unmarried cohabitation has risen 1,000% over the past four decades. Not all of our marriages will work, no — but when they do, they’ll work better than at any other time in history, say scholars. And when they don’t, why not simply avoid the hassle of a drawn-out divorce?

“Millennials aren’t scared of commitment — we’re just trying to do commitment more wisely,” says Cristen Conger, a 29-year-old unmarried but cohabitating podcast host in Atlanta. “We rigorously craft our social media and online dating profiles to maximize our chances of getting a first date, and ‘beta testing’ is just an extension of us trying to strategize for future romantic success.”

In an era where, according to the survey, 56% of women and men think a marriage can be successful even if it doesn’t last forever, that might just make sense. Scholars have observed for some time that attitudes toward divorce have become more favorable over the past decade. Millennials in particular are more likely to view divorce as a good solution to matrimonial strife, according to the sociologist Philip Cohen — and more likely to believe it should be easier to obtain.

And, of course, it’s easy to understand why. We’re cynical. We are a generation raised on a wedding industry that could fund a small nation, but marriages that end before the ink has dried. (As one 29-year-old survey respondent put it: “We don’t trust that institution.”) We are also less religious than any other generation, meaning we don’t enter (or stay) committed simply for God. We feel less bound to tradition as a whole (no bouquet tosses here).

And while we have among the highest standards when it comes to a partner — we want somebody who can be a best friend, a business partner, a soul mate — we are a generation that is overwhelmed by options, in everything from college and first jobs to who we should choose for a partner. “This is a generation who has not had to make as many long-term commitments as previous generations, so the idea of not having an out feels a little stringent,” says Lavigne-Delville. “Divorce has happened for a long time. Maybe we should rethink the rules.”

Indeed, at the end of the day, whatever you want to say about the hookup generation, or millennials’ inability to commit, the vast majority (69%, according to Pew) of millennials still want to get married. We simply need a little extra time to work out the kinks.

“Getting married is so much more weighted today, I get the impulse to want to test it,” says Hannah Seligson, the 31-year-old married author of A Little Bit Married , about 20-somethings and long-term unmarried relationships. At the same time, she adds, “I wonder if this is a false control study in a way. Yes, marriage terrifying, it’s probably the biggest leap of faith you’ll ever make. But you’ll never be able to peer into a crystal ball — or map it out on a spreadsheet.”

Bennett is a contributing columnist at TIME .com covering the intersection of gender, sexuality, business and pop culture. A former Newsweek senior writer and executive editor of Tumblr, she is also a contributing editor for Sheryl Sandberg’s women’s foundation, Lean In.

Single Struggles: Big Purchase, Big Decision

Mon, 29 Sep 2014 13:17:00 GMT

Big Purchase, Big Decision

For single adults, financial decisions often feel like something you have to do on your own. Sure, you have friends and family to help. But friends and family are not always the wisest counsel when it comes to large purchases.

Who do you trust when you have to make a tough choice?

Do you go with Internet reviews? The article about Top Ten Cars? The brother-in-law who is a mechanic?

Mortgage websites can provide information but you can also find conflicting information about the choices when buying a house. Some say choose a fixed rate, some say a variable. And, let’s not even start a discussion on reverse mortgages.

Your singles group at church can certainly show support with prayer and bouncing off of ideas. There may even be wise singles in the group with a financial career. Maybe someone who recently spent a large sum of money on the very item you are considering. Connect with that individual and seek advice.

Collect the information to make a wise decision but don’t move forward without seeking the wisest Counselor we have.

Proverbs 3:5-6 says:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” (NAS)

While doing your research, pray about whether God has the specific purchase in His plan for your life. Trust in Him to open doors that lead to making that large purchase or close doors that require a waiting period.

Singles Struggles: Too Much Time Alone

Mon, 22 Sep 2014 11:33:00 GMT

You might have too much alone time when:

If any of the above describe you, it’s time for a change..

Let’s face it. Being alone can be awesome, but it can also get out of hand. Is it time to reevaluate your priorities? Singles often struggle with getting out of the house. It’s easy to sit and wrap yourself in social media outlets, television, gaming on the computer. But are there any true rewards?

As Believers, God calls us to meet the needs of others. Titus 3:14 tells us, “Our people must learn to devote themselves to doing what is good, in order to provide for urgent needs and not live unproductive lives.” Twitter doesn’t do that. Candy Crush won’t fill it. Endless hours of television won’t reach out to those in need.

Where to Start?

You don’t have to go it alone. There are singles in the churches around you. Find a group and give it a chance. Say yes to the singles event at your church. Volunteer for local missions or overseas. Doing so will help you connect with like-minded people.

Now, let us be clear. Singles do not have more time than married folks, but our interests are not divided as much as those with a spouse or kids. In 1 Corinthians 7:34, Paul said we all have the same amount of time every day and our priorities drive decisions on how we will use that time.

Your church is a community of Believers with opportunities to eliminate too much alone time. The Singles group at your church is the perfect opportunity to organize and nurture a family environment for single adults.

Having Christ followers surround you with the love of God will help you engage in the world. This community of believers can be as much or as little as you want them to be in your life. Some alone time is healthy, but too much is not. Being involved with a community of believers can help you find the right balance for you. But take the first step: find a local singles group at a church and make connections with someone beyond the electronics in your living room!

What’s the Rush to Marry?

Mon, 04 Aug 2014 22:07:00 GMT

Being engaged is undervalued these days. When did the idea of making a lifelong commitment based off a short term relationship become the norm? The average engagement in America is 14 months, that is right over one year. Yet, in the Christian community, that is considered a “lifetime” of waiting for the “obvious” to happen. Nearly a third of engagements are ended before the wedding day and the divorce rate scary high for remarriages. So again we ask, what is the rush?

Engagement is not a void time before the wedding day . It should be filled with intimate moments of sharing and growing spiritually together. Once the ring is on the finger, there is no questions from the other person or those around you what your intentions are. So rather than talking about “someday” you get the opportunity to talk about reality.

Dating always has some side to it of being our better self, being engaged is the first chance to start letting down all your guards and being completely committed to someone else knowing they share that same level of commitment. That said, it’s not marriage. Emotionally and spiritually you should be growing closer daily to one another, but physical intimacy should wait until the wedding day. That’s where the line is drawn between being engaged and marriage.

Being engaged is not being married , so it is still a time of transition for things to come, but also a time where a person can leave a relationship before committing to something more. If you are going to marry, be engaged and use that time to grow as a couple to verify the commitment of marriage.

True Love Doesn’t Have to Wait

Mon, 21 Jul 2014 11:02:00 GMT

True love doesn’t wait. That’s right. All our lives we were taught by Disney, ABC, Hallmark, and others that someday our one “true love” will come and sweep us off our feet. Get married and have perfect children and live happily ever after. But is that what Scripture teaches us? Christian programs talk about this issue, but we are not talking about physical attraction love only. Paul encourages a life of singleness over being married for the sake of Kingdom work in 1 Corinthians 7. Jesus was single and said “Come and Follow me” (Mark 1:17) and died upon a cross for all mankind’s sins to rise again three days later victorious over death. John 3:16: God loved us so much he sent His one son to die for you. True love. 1 John 4 talks about how God is love and we know God’s love by loving one another. The Bible is clear. Be complete in Christ now and know true love!

True love is what Christ has done for us, not what Prince Charming or Snow White has to offer. Singles, do not buy into the lie that marriage is the only way to experiencing true love and be complete. Be complete now and if marriage is in God’s plan for your life, then great! If not, you are complete and whole knowing the truest love this life has to offer.

How Does Your Church Greet Singles?

Mon, 14 Jul 2014 13:34:00 GMT

Greeters across the country will wake up Sunday to serve at thousands of church doors across America. Do they realize nearly 40% of people who walk in their doors will be single adults? True, not every church has the nationwide average, but when singles attend your church how do volunteers respond?

Here are some common responses:

We have a college and career class

While the size of a church may limit the options, a college class is often not the place to send working single adults. Approximately 25% of singles who start college will graduate. Lumping 20-something singles into a college group will offend and deter the other 75%. Every person is different and needs options at your church to be connected.

We have a young adults class

The nice door greeter who assumes the guest is in their 20s instead of asking, usually takes them to a young adults class. But these classes are typically married adults with a few singles who never found a place to fit in. No matter how many ways it is tried, this group mix often fails to reach one or the other, single or married adults.

We have lots of singles in our choir

True, lots of singles may be in your choir. The reason this is common? Singles can’t find a place to connect so they go where a married status is not an issue to avoid the awkwardness. Of course it could be due to their love of choir and need to serve but some can find it to be a hiding place as well.

I am not sure, let me ask a minister/leader who may know

As your leaders and ministers have a plan to put more singles in a specific class to grow a singles ministry, make sure your greeters know that information. When greeters do not know how to respond, the leaders become aware of how many singles visit. Hopefully, the leaders will think about offering a class geared towards these individuals.

Leaders must teach greeters how to respond to singles when they enter the doors. Equipping volunteers with information will encourage the single adult to return, and hopefully become involved. Singles, if your church doesn’t have a singles class or ministry, ask your leaders if you can start one.

Singles are searching for churches where they can connect…is your church ready for them? Your church does not have to have a paid staffer that works with singles to reach singles, it simply needs a plan of action to connect singles and share that plan with volunteers.

To Marry or Not: Living Together

Mon, 07 Jul 2014 13:26:00 GMT

As a leader in your singles ministry you will have a dating couple in your group at some point that choose to live together or have a couple come into your group already living together. Sometimes these cohabiting/fornicating/living in sin adults will find their way to a married adult class trying to pass off as a “normal married or engaged” couple. Regardless of the entry point into the church these adults are singles until the wedding day. Then comes the dilemma for the church.

This cohabiting couple wants to marry, but your pastor will not marry a couple living together. While there are many angles to this situation, the product of the church’s position has communicated to this couple to “let the state fix our problem and not the church.” Sure the minister can say separate until the wedding day, but reality is they are living together most likely to save money or they can not make enough to live alone. So demanding a move often never happens. After all, if the church denies the request for this couple to marry, they can go to the courthouse and in a week be married. The church must meet people where they are, but hold the line on what Scripture clearly says is a sin.

So will the same church who said no to the union now say yes to the marriage? Affirming that the state government can fix a situation that the church could not?

Taming the Single Tongue

Mon, 16 Jun 2014 13:00:00 GMT

“With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth comes praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. Can both freshwater and saltwater flow from the same spring? My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.” James 3:9-12 (NIV)

As a single adult, taming the tongue is particularly important when speaking about your singleness. At Table for One Ministries we believe singles are complete in Christ. Nothing else will satisfy you or even come close to His love shown you.

So why talk negatively about being single like it’s a curse or an unwanted gift? This verbiage displays a lack of trust in the One who controls everything in our lives.

Your tongue has power. In fact, it’s described in verse 8 as “a restless evil, full of deadly poison.” Yikes! That is harsh for the average Christian believing they are mostly good and mostly honoring God most of the time. The issue of taming the tongue comes down to submission to Christ and love.

You must submit your words to the Word of God (James 4:7). Your words should speak love to others so that they may know the love of God. “Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.” (1 John 4:11-12)

Let your tongue be honoring in all you say!

Single Myths: Every Man Needs a Woman

Mon, 09 Jun 2014 13:00:00 GMT

Men, let’s be real.

On TV we are portrayed as slobs, unable to control our emotions, irrational, and most of all, hopeless without a woman. The “Homer Simpson” man requires a woman that can pick up the pieces when bad decisions are made and run the home.

When did the idea that men have to have a woman become the prevailing thought in America?

At Table for One Ministries, we believe you are complete in Christ. We say it often and say it proudly, because if you are a single man reading this you know at some point it has been said to you, “you need a good woman” or “you need to settle down.”

We would like to argue it’s not a woman that brings maturity, it’s a relationship with Christ. This most important relationship teaches us how to be humble, respectful, forgiving, caring of others’ needs, and how to love on the deepest level. All those things result in maturity that flows out of your relationship with Christ and into all other relationships.

It’s not marriage that makes a man, it is Christ who makes the man whole.

Men, be like Joshua and be bold and courageous doing incredible things for the kingdom. Be like Paul and be a slave to Christ. These men were complete in Christ, not their relationships with women. Be like Jesus.

Single Myths: Every Lady Needs a Man

Mon, 02 Jun 2014 13:00:00 GMT

Ladies, let’s be real.

Women on TV are often portrayed as going from one man to another, trying to find completeness in a partner–emotionally, sexually, and sometimes, spiritually.

The idea prevails that women need another person to be complete even if he is just a very close friend. Even strong, independent types seek someone to complete them. With all the improvements of women’s right and equality, our nation still finds a 30-year-old woman to be flawed if she is still single. It is one reason the average age for brides is consistently lower by a year or more than the groom.

At Table for One Ministries, we believe you are complete in Christ. We say it often because it’s the foundation for how we view relationships. Your relationship with Christ builds a respectful, loving, caring, and trusting attitude needed for all other relationships. We argue it’s not the man who makes the woman, but the woman who grows in Christ that makes her into a Proverbs 31 woman of faith.

Women, be like Annie Armstrong and Lottie Moon, go on mission for the Kingdom no matter the cost. Be like Mary, who may have been a single mother but raised a family that honored God and cared for our Savior. Be like Martha, who cried out to Jesus for help when Lazarus died but had faith Christ would bring him back to life.

Be bold for the kingdom as a woman. If your path brings you into a relationship with a man, your close relationship with Christ will be the foundation of knowing true love and give you the ability to be the best possible spouse.

Can’t Take It With You

Mon, 19 May 2014 21:38:00 GMT

Proven fact: if it’s here, it stays here.

Have you ever stopped to look around your home at all the things you have? This is not a blog about how “things” are bad or how we should even sell it all and give it to the poor. This post is about the life of a widow.

They had been married for years and years and with that length of time came things. Books, electronics, things of sentimental value and even things forgotten. Then came the sudden death of her spouse, the wake, the funeral, and the support from a local church. This widow, now in the house alone, is left to deal with the possessions of two lives. She is overwhelmed by the amount of material possessions that seem worthless now, but at one point, were treasured. It wasn’t that they were rich or lived a life of glamour–they just never let go of things.

Does the amount of items in your home reflect the fact you can’t take it with you when you die? As a single adult, when you honestly reflect on the things around you, does it show you are committed to this life or the next?

Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them. For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever. (1 John 2:15-17)(NIV)

When you are called home to heaven, be a single adult who doesn’t let the stuff left behind be your legacy. As a singles leader, encourage singles to chase after the Kingdom and not possessions or a relationship status.

Should I Date a Friend’s Ex?

Mon, 28 Apr 2014 13:00:00 GMT

Yes.

What? Was that answer too quick and easy? Does every blog have to be 1,000 words or more to truly get to the bottom of an issue?

Dating a friend’s ex can be complicated if feelings are still involved. It would not be something to rush into, but it is not something to be avoided. Sometimes the couple that breaks up still hang around each other because while they’ve determined they aren’t going to pursue marriage, they are still friends.

The principles at play are committed decisions and open, honest, communication. These are reflected in Matthew 5:37 and letting your yes be yes. When someone is dating they are committed to that relationship to see whether God will lead the friendship further into marriage. Once the couple determines their relationship will not progress beyond friendship, they are free to investigate other relationships.

We are not encouraging you end other friendships to seek this new one, but certainly friends committed to one another will not see this as a hostile act of aggression.

So why wait or avoid a friend’s ex when that person could be who God is calling you to date and possibly be your future spouse? The whole idea of putting friends before those you date is childish and unfounded. Be respectful to your friends and if you feel led, let them know you intend to ask their ex on a date. But you don’t need their blessing or permission to do so. They do not own or have “dibs” on that person for the rest of their life.

Follow God’s direction when dating, and let Him lead as you date. Dating is the only way to find out if someone is whom God has called you to marry. True friendships can handle adult relationships. Go for it!

Slice of Humble Pie

Mon, 21 Apr 2014 13:00:00 GMT

“Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time,

casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.”

1 Peter 5:6-7

Pie is awesome. Very few times will you hear people say no to pie. A good piece of pie is a slice of heaven on earth. But what about some humble pie? Before you go and Google it, this is not a real pie (or maybe it is) but an expression meaning a person needs be humbled sometimes to be a better person. Our God, the baker serves humble pie to all of us so we may grow from the challenges into His image.

How is being single like a slice of humble pie? Maybe the apostle Paul had the same slice of single pie you are having when he was writing 1 Corinthians 7. Many times pastors and well-meaning friends will refer to the years you are single as a refinement for a future marriage. Nothing irritates a single adult more than being told their singleness is because they are too immature to marry. We have seen enough immature married people to know that statement is a lie. This is not the type of humbling we agree with at Table for One.

We all need to be humbled. That is not because of a relationship status. We all need to be humbled before God so He may exalt us one day as we cast all our fears and worries upon Him. He cares for us!!!

How reassuring is the end of verse 7? However, being humbled is difficult for us but it is because He cares. Singles, humble yourselves before our God and serve Him as He calls. Remember, it’s not because of your status you are being humbled, it’s because you are child of the one true King.

Am I Still Single Because I Don’t Do the Bar Scene?

Mon, 07 Apr 2014 13:00:00 GMT

Take a look on TV, any show any network. In most every media outlet you are likely to see a stereotype of how singles meet: the bar. It may be a fancy place, or a hole in the wall, but most media are telling singles if they want to meet other singles they need to be in a bar or a club.

At the risk of sounding like we are not “hip,” we are not anti-fun. Quite the opposite. At Table for One, we want singles to go have fun with friends, responsibly, and that could result in visiting clubs and bars. Where Christians differ greatly with the rest of the world is knowing these locations are not the only place to find someone.

Likewise, you are not still single because you don’t go clubbing every weekend with your friends. If you are looking for someone to date, you need look where God calls you and where you enjoy life activities. That means you may find your special someone at a baseball game, walking, biking, or at church functions.

Don’t buy into the lie that the bar scene is for singles. Be unique and be who God called you to be and be where He called you to be. If it’s the Lord’s will, you will find the person you seek. But always remember, marriage isn’t the finish line.

Single Struggles: Is Online Dating for Christians?

Mon, 31 Mar 2014 13:00:00 GMT

Online dating is a tricky subject. Everyone knows someone who has found the love of their life online, and they are happily married with kids. This creates the idea that online dating is perfect in every way. At the same time, everyone is terrified of the person who lies about everything online in order to get a date. This goes along with the idea that those searching online must be at the “bottom of the barrel” in the dating world.

Table for One does not believe either of these extremes are true, though both sides make valid arguments. We take the stance that when you are dating online recognize that the website you choose is not as committed to finding your soul-mate, but finding your wallet; not committed to your love, but to your wallet. Online dating is BIG business and highly profitable with little overhead for most sites. That is why there is a dating site for almost every city in America and every country in the world. Advertisers lure visitors to buy their product and money is made.

So when do you make the jump and try online dating? Online dating sites are most useful as a method for making initial contact, not to develop a deep relationship. Only online date if your intention is to physically meet someone within a few digital communications. Choose public areas to meet and be realistic that some dates will be good and some will be bad. It takes time and interaction to get to know the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.

What do you think? Do you date online? What is your opinion of online dating? Respond below!

I Did Not Plan to be 50 and Still Single

Mon, 24 Mar 2014 13:00:00 GMT

We had a single adult write us the other day and tell us our blogs and overtones seem to be written towards those who are choosing to be single. This person is in their 50’s and bluntly said, they did NOT choose to be single this late in life, it just happened. The years flew by with lots of adventures and time with family, and before they knew it it had been 50 years and they only had a few dates and relationships to show for it.

This single in this situation did not plan to be single. Some singles are bitter from the years of being alone, while others are saddened by never starting a family of their own and the time for that has passed. We like to think the majority, however, is comprised of singles full of life. And, while they may not have planned this path, they have lived it and can reflect on a full life. A full life is not defined by a wedding and poopy diapers.

A full life is one lived honoring God and living for the day when God may say “Well done my good and faithful servant.”

You may not have planned to be single, but God planned for you to be single. This path you took was not one that missed the mark, but was a different mark than the world defines just like the apostle Paul describes in 1 Corinthians 7. Keep living life. You are complete in Christ!

Singles on TV

Mon, 17 Mar 2014 14:08:00 GMT

Singles on TV. While singles are not the norm on TV, there has been a trend over the last 20 years to include more singles in TV shows. Cartoons, sitcoms, dramas, even Lifetime movies, all have singles in them. But it wasn’t always this way. TV shows 20 plus years ago thrived on the married couple with kids and if singles where in the spotlight they were dating, but eventually, married.

So what changed?

In the last census, the average age of marriage being 29 for men and 27 for women. It should come as no shock that our world has changed to be more single than ever before. But the singles we find on TV never quite hit home with singles who are complete in Christ. Most of the ones portrayed in the media are promiscuous, often having several sexual partners in a season and all looking for someone to fill their void.

At Table for One Ministries, we believe that void can only be filled with a relationship with Christ. All the relationships you have in your life will not fill your emptiness as Christ will (Psalm 23:5).

Do not look to TV for examples of how to date and be complete, look to Christ. He knows the desires of your heart and if marriage is in your future He will guide you down that path. Being complete does not come in the form of a spouse, but in God becoming man and making an atonement for our sins on the cross to rise again three days later.

So next time you are watching TV, take notice of the single adult attitude presented on the show. It may surprise you how much you are influenced by these shows instead of God’s Word.

Single and Considering an Abortion

Mon, 10 Mar 2014 13:00:00 GMT

The world tells us you that as a single you cannot raise a child alone. Regardless of the life in you, your life and priorities come first. After all, how will you raise a child by yourself? This lie is spread by some who are pro-choice in an attempt for a mother-to-be to feel empowered to chose what God has already allowed. Ironically, once society gets past this decision, mothers, Christian or not, can find all kinds of support for raising a family with one parent.

Enter your church’s singles ministry. A place where a mother can find hope and family to help raise her new child. Singles’ groups are always fluctuating with people getting married, and hopefully, new guests coming into the group. But this environment is where single mothers need to find friends and community combined with preschool, children, and youth ministries for their child. Do not segment out these ladies or men. They need other singles to come alongside them and provide support for both parent and child.

When your church has a singles ministry, single parents should never have to raise their children alone regardless of how that child entered this world.

Single leaders, reach out to pregnancy centers and connect single mothers to your group and church to find a place to call home.

S.A.D. Day

Mon, 10 Feb 2014 14:00:00 GMT

S ingles

A wareness

D ay

Sure, some of you may call it Valentine’s Day. But in the singles ministry world, there is never a time of the year that makes your singleness more glaring than February 14th.

The retail world loves to pump up its importance, and there always seems to be a sappy love movie that comes out every year near this date that helps make things worse. Some of your singles may be looking and hoping for a spouse and others may not be looking at all. Regardless of where they are at, here is our suggestion for this time of the year.

We have seen SAD February 14th parties where singles gather and fellowship in support for one another. Don’t do it. You think this would work, but it normally doesn’t. Most of the time they are awkward for everyone and makes it all feel worse. Instead, take the focus away from single adults and the selfishness of not having someone and direct it towards serving others.

Have your singles ministry serve others leading up to February 14th. This can be a community project, hosting a couples event for senior adults, offering a parents’ night out to those who want to babysit, or any idea that take the focus away from inward focus. Whatever the event, make Valentine’s Day about serving others. Your singles ministry will be blessed for doing so. Instead of talking about not having anyone as a date, they can share about how they served others.

Some singles are more sensitive this time of the year and it varies vary depending on how long they’ve been single or what type of single they are. A divorced single may have to deal with the pain of not having someone this year for Valentine’s Day or a widow may be experiencing grief for the first time. Be aware of these background differences and be sensitive to how you lead and what you say regarding Valentine’s Day.

Acknowledge V-Day, but keep your focus on serving and honoring God.

You’re Married…You Wouldn’t Understand

Mon, 27 Jan 2014 14:00:00 GMT

As a married guy with a recent addition of a daughter, I had someone tell me this week that I “do not understand what it’s like to be single.” I have been married for just over two years, and I was single for 28 years. I know way more about being single than being a married dad. But the thing that bothers me most about this phrase is that people assume I don’t understand.

Before there was ever the prospect of a Mrs. Dunn, I was complete. I always wanted marriage and a family, but I also knew it would not complete me. However, I didn’t always feel this way. Just after graduating college in my early 20’s, I was alone and felt I was doomed to a life of being single and lonely. Sound familiar?

Then I joined a church singles ministry, and it forever changed my life. I had been saved since I was 10. Christ has always been a part of my life. However, for the first time ever I began to be COMPLETE in Christ. By the time I was mid to late 20’s, I was dating from time-to-time, but I was whole and did not need marriage to live a “full life.”

Cliches sometimes are so true. When I was least expecting a relationship, I found my wife. It was in the same month I’d told her I was done dating and wanted to focus on ministry! But God had bigger plans than I could see.

Marriage did not complete me and becoming a father did not complete me. Christ completed me.

We want Christ to be at the center of all you do. We know you will find completeness in Him. That is why, at the very core of what we do at Table for One Ministries, we communicate a simple message: Be Complete in Christ.

Single Parent=Exhausted Parent

Thu, 23 Jan 2014 14:00:00 GMT

Unless you have been there, it is really hard to understand. Single parents struggle with so many challenges. Your kids can be sweet, and then sometimes, they can be little terrors. You love them with all your heart and would die for them if called to, but there are also times when you might just give them away if only for a moment’s peace.

Your average day consists of waking early to get yourself ready so you can get your kids dressed, fed, teeth brushed, hair combed, and packed for school or daycare. Then it is off to work for at least eight hours, only to come home exhausted to fix dinner, help with homework, settle disputes, get the kids through the tub and off to bed. Then it’s time to clean the house, not spic and span, but just enough so you won’t worry about being featured on the next episode of Hoarders. And then, there is the never-ending list of things you have been told you should be doing, but just can’t find the time.

I can remember many nights when I laid down at night too exhausted to lift my head. All I could do was cry (yes, men cry too) and try to muster enough strength to face another day. In times like these it is important to remember we are not alone. God is right there with us. His promises were precious to me then and still are. Here is my favorite:

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30.

There is so much to draw strength and encouragement from in these verses. But let’s just focus on the fact Jesus is here to help us through the daily challenges of life. When we operate in His strength, we can go on even when our strength has run out. Learning to trust and operate in His strength takes time and practice, but we can. Here are a few tips I learned as a single parent to lighten the load.

1. Pray: Pray for yourself, that God would strengthen you and help you focus on the important things of life, and let the trivial things go. Pray for and with your kids. Pray they would know God fully and be able to trust in Him completely. Pray God would cover your parenting mistakes with His grace. Pray God would protect your family from the schemes of the devil.

2. Join: We were not meant to walk this life alone. We need fellow believers. Find a local church and join a small group. You need brothers and sisters who will pray, encourage and support you.

3. Take a break: Find someone in your church or family to occasionally give you a break by watching your children. This can be a church friend or family member. You might even explore a co-op with other single parents you trust and take turns watching each other’s children.

4. Remember God’s Promises: God loves and is always there for us. We find our identity in Him and his Word. I never mentioned this earlier, but single parents, moms especially, can be judged and unfairly labeled. Don’t believe the lies the world tells us. Trust His Word.

Remember, God loves and accepts you. You are perfect in his eyes, not because of anything you have done, but because of what He has done. Live in this Truth.

Could You Marry in 90 Days?

Mon, 20 Jan 2014 14:00:00 GMT

TLC has launched a show where people meet online, are together for 90 days, and in the end they have to get married or break up. So the question arises, could you meet someone and marry them in 90 days?

Marriage is a big deal! But also a big deal for some singles is the need/desire to be married…and soon. Some singles are facing a biological clock to start a family, while others are just tired of being alone. But, most of the people on the show are missing one key relationship in their life. A relationship with Christ.

A relationship with Christ makes us whole. It puts together the broken pieces of our lives.

God gives His only Son as a payment for our sins. It is sacrificial love we don’t deserve but is freely given to us to accept and have a relationship with our Creator. So, the question then is why do you “have to get married in 90 days?” Why is there such a rush to fill a void in life when Christ has already done that for those who have accepted him.

Single adult Christ-follower, hear us. Do not make a life-long decision based on a short-term relationship.

It is not the 90 days being engaged on the show that’s the problem, it is the years behind it that make a marriage. Be Complete in Christ. Let marriage be the icing on the top of the cake instead of the whole cake. When you approach dating with this mindset, then you will make good decisions empowered by prayer that will lead to a life that honors Christ.

Can you find a spouse in 90 days? Sure, but is that what God wants you to do?

Being a Witness @ Work

Mon, 13 Jan 2014 14:00:00 GMT

It is hard to share faith in the workplace. For one, many of our employers may discourage that type of conversation and co-workers may not be able to talk while clocked in. Years of retail observation have shown three ways in which you can share your faith as a single adult in the workplace.

1. Your attitude and how you respond to “How is your day going?” Don’t always say it’s perfect, but do try to find the good in every day and share that with others. After All, Christ died on the cross to pay our sins. How is today not a good day for all of us? Psalm 118:24 .

2. Through moments of sharing your testimony. Very rarely in the retail world is there more than a few moments to talk with co-workers. But when those moments arise be honest with your story and how God is working in your life.

3. Through knowing your co-workers. It’s easy to get wrapped up in our jobs and forget that as believers we are not working for us, but we are working for the Lord. Knowing our co-workers is vital toward sharing the Good News of Jesus Christ. Engage your co-workers with a Kingdom mindset to understand where they are coming from and you’ll learn how you can minister to them.

We encourage you as a single adult to be generous with the time you give to know your co-workers. Don’t simply work for a paycheck, but for the Kingdom. If you are given the chance to go to lunch with a co-worker or spend time outside the workplace, do so in an effort to know them better. It will give them the opportunity to see how Christ makes a difference in your life.

Christian Idolatry

Mon, 30 Dec 2013 14:00:00 GMT

In Biblical terminology, an “Idol” can be anything we value, honor, or pursue more than we value, honor, or pursue God. It is anything that takes priority in our lives. We tend to think of idols as “evil,” as things that are themselves inherently bad. This thinking misses the point. The evil of idolatry is not in the object of our attention, but in our own misplaced priorities.

Number 21:4-9 provides the first, and I believe most compelling, example of God’s people turning a blessing into an idol. This is the account of the bronze serpent.

For those that don’t know the story, here is a quick summary. Once again, while wandering in the wilderness, the people of God complain about their condition. God sends poisonous snakes among them and a lot of people die. The people repent and ask Moses to pray for them so God will take away the snakes. Moses prays. God replies and tells Moses to make a bronze snake and nail it to a pole. He then tells Moses anyone who gets bitten by a snake should look at the bronze snake nailed to the pole. If they would do this, then the snake-bite won’t t kill them. So Moses, and the people did what God said, and they lived.

So, what is the problem? Was the bronze snake evil? No, God told Moses to make it. And God used the snake to provide salvation from the consequences of their sin; a symbol of ultimate salvation Jesus applied to Himself (John 3:14-15, you know, right before “For God so loved the world…”). The snake itself was a blessing God, himself, gave His people.

Scripture, however, mentions the snake again in 2 Kings 18:4. By this time in Israel’s history, several hundred years later, the Israelites had given the snake a name and were burning incense to it. King Hezekiah, while purging the kingdom of idolatry, destroyed it. The bronze snake became an idol. The object God had given them for their good, which pointed to their ultimate Savior, had to be destroyed.

As believers today, we are in no less danger of abusing the goodness of God’s blessings than the ancient Israelites. Whether that blessing is a godly leader, a loving small group, or a healthy relationship, unless we remember God alone saves and is the only Satisfier of our souls, we are at risk of corrupting the blessings.

God loves us enough to give us good gifts, but He also loves us enough to take those gifts away when they interfere with our love for Him.

Missing the Kids

Thu, 19 Dec 2013 15:36:00 GMT

A man walks into a fall festival at his church. The look on his face is weathered from the years of addiction that has cut him off from his children. Where did it all go wrong? It seems like just a few moments ago he was taking his kids trick or treating and now he’s a single parent looking for a place to feel loved. He made a decision for Christ a few months back but relationships were too far gone and seem as if they will never be healed.

There is a single parent in your church with a story just like this or close to it. He or she is looking for a place to connect, but will they find it? Singles ministry is not just for the 20-something-never-married or single moms with preschoolers; no, it’s a place where love is shown to all backgrounds and commonality in their relationship status.

Churches that do not target singles of all backgrounds miss the opportunity to minister to people like this. Single parents come in many backgrounds and ages, but where they connect is up to the local church and the opportunities they offer. Psalm 68:6 “God sets the lonely in families.”

Within an effective singles ministry, the single father described above arrives early to help with festivals and be a part of something on a day where they would have just been alone. They serve with fellow singles that have become a second family over the past few weeks since attending. They go home still remembering what was, but now with hope of what is to come.

How Can I Keep From Desiring a Relationship 24/7?

Mon, 16 Dec 2013 14:00:00 GMT

A single wrote into us and asked “How can I keep from desiring a relationship 24/7?” This is a great question and a struggle many single adults have. The root of this question is trying to fill a void of loneliness, that makes a person feel like they need someone in their life because they are so lonely. Loneliness can come into our lives in many different circumstances. It can be from being alone at home, feeling alone in society, suffering when no one is there to comfort you, or from the loss of a loved one. As a single adult, you are faced with the decision to allow loneliness to pervade your life.

However, it may not be that simple. What are your motives for wanting to be in a relationship all the time? Maybe you are not fully trusting in God with the desires of your heart so the He may direct your path. Trust can take a long time to earn and seconds to end. Trust is the foundation of currency in the world, agreements between Nations, and the foundation of a relationship with Christ.

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:4-7

Desiring a relationship is not wrong, but as a single you should focus on the most important relationship in your life, Jesus Christ. Get to know Him more, spend time in His word and spend time in prayer with Him. The outflow of that relationship will result in God-honoring relationships as the right person comes along, but always remember, marriage isn’t the finish line.

Assuming About Single Parents

Thu, 12 Dec 2013 21:23:00 GMT

Too often we assume. When we see single parents there is an assumption that premarital sex probably occurred and that the other person is long gone abandoning their children. There is also an assumption that single parents almost always come as mothers, not as fathers. Finally there is an assumption they can not do it alone and the phrase “I don’t know how you do it” always seems to slip out.

We would like to interject into this conversation the idea that most single parents did not plan to be such. Things happen. One night stands, a moment of passion prior to marriage, a spouse cheats on the other and leaves, a spouse passes away, or a spouse just stops loving and walks away from their commitment. Once these and more things happen a person finds themselves a parent raising a child alone.

Enter Singles Ministry. Your singles ministry, as well as the rest of the church family, should become a part of their family network that may be missing from the lives of these kids and parents. Single parents may choose to remarry or date, but often that becomes secondary to their children and ensuring they get everything they need. A singles ministry can not fill the void entirely, but it can build relationships that support and encourage single parents. This is why single parents need to be around other singles and not just other single parents. They need the support of a group, which they can not get when they are isolated.

Singles: single parents are single, too. They need to be a part of your life and you need to be actively engaging them in your local church. If we believe as singles that we are complete in Christ, all the more reason to remind single parents they are complete and not an unfixable family unit.

Single Struggles: I Don’t Want to Live Without You

Mon, 18 Nov 2013 14:00:00 GMT

After the funeral is over and life has released its hold button, a widow struggles with a new reality that they are now single again. Thoughts and emotions are all capsized in a singular thought “I don’t want to live without you.” It’s not that this widow is suicidal, far from it. It was just that the years of experiences together culminated in a life that seemed to only exist with the other. Now that person is gone and as a widow or widower you must move forward.

Remember that in Christ Jesus you are whole and while your love was deep, our Father’s love for you is so much deeper. You are complete in Christ, not in your late spouse. You can walk forward knowing that as a follower of Christ you can face tomorrow because He lives in you. Be strong, push yourself to be active in your church, push yourself to build new relationships and continue those already established.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfgf-R7bPsw

“Because He Lives!”

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow,

Because He lives, all fear is gone;

Because I know He holds the future,

And life is worth the living,

Just because He lives!

Single Struggles: Fear

Mon, 11 Nov 2013 14:00:00 GMT

“Only thing we to fear, is fear itself” – Franklin D. Roosevelt

“I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.”

– Psalm 43:4

Fear can be gripping, keeping us paralyzed from taking any action because it could turn out to be the wrong move. Fear is not something we should be taken captive by as we can seek the Lord in all things and the peace of God will come over us. Philippians 4:6-7. All we have to do is humble ourselves to our God and cast our fears unto Him because He cares for us that much! 1Peter 5:6-7.

As a single adult you may fear commitment, relationships, social situations, financial stability, among many others, but praise be to God that we can cast those fears to Him and let Him handle it all! God is love, He loves you so much His Word tells us to seek Him and let it all go so that we may have a peace that goes beyond all understanding in our trials.

Having a relationship with Jesus Christ is vital to not letting fear take over your life. That is why we, at Table for One Ministries, believe that the most important relationship in your life is your relationship with Jesus Christ. All other relationships flow from that relationship and define who we are as children of the one true King. Have you made that commitment in your life to place your relationship with Christ first? Have you made the first step of trusting Him as your Lord?

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God;

I will strengthen you, I will help you,

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

– Isaiah 41:10

Single Struggles: Alcohol

Mon, 04 Nov 2013 14:00:00 GMT

As a tee-totaling Southern Baptist, I feel under qualified to be writing an article about the particular struggles singles face regarding drinking alcohol. I have a bias against the stuff in this country. I don’t like the way it is marketed, and I don’t like the way our culture uses it. Alcohol has become the drug of choice which Americans use to escape life. The lie being sold here is that you need to escape life to have fun. I hate that lie, and that lie is why I don’t drink.

I want to talk about “social drinking”. It seems that just about anywhere a single person would go to hang out, meet up with friends, or meet new people, is a place where alcohol is served. Whether it is a ball game, a sports bar, a nightclub, a concert, or even bowling, there will likely be drinks offered. It is a standard business model for the American social entertainment industry. We offer inexpensive entertainment, and make up the profits selling alcohol.

As a Christian Single, I want to challenge you to find another way. Christ came that we might have abundant life. Life is to be grasped and lived, not endured or escaped or dulled by alcohol. I love coffee shops! I’ll grant you, it is a different drug, but it doesn’t encourage escaping life. Enjoy sports, skip the beer. Go dancing, lose the cocktails. In Christ, troubles are to be faced and overcome, not avoided. Life itself is a celebration! Don’t dull yourself to it, be here for it!

Single Struggles: Dying Alone

Mon, 28 Oct 2013 13:00:00 GMT

No matter what the age, relationships status, or amount of friends a person has, the idea of “dying alone” can come from seemingly nowhere and overtake our thoughts to the point of fear and anxiety. Satan would like us to think that we are alone and if we do not take action into our own hands then we will certainly die alone. One thing is true, we all will die. Once sin entered into the world death also came as a consequence of that action.

Another thing that’s true, we do not have to die alone. One thing remains: God’s great love in sending Christ to die for our sins while we were sinners and undeserving of such a sacrifice! You will never face death alone in Christ! Our relationship status on earth with others does not guarantee us anything in our afterlife. Our fears of death come from emotions of insecurity of what is to come. As a Christ follower we can take peace that Christ has risen from the dead and conquered the unknown so we are never alone, even in death, with Him by our side.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_KXsMCJgBQ

“One Thing Remains”

Higher than the mountains that I face

Stronger than the power of the grave

Constant through the trial and the change

One thing… Remains [repeat]

[Chorus:]

Your love never fails, never gives up

Never runs out on me [3x]

On and on and on and on it goes

It overwhelms and satisfies my soul

And I never, ever, have to be afraid

One thing remains

[Bridge:]

In death, In life, I’m confident and

covered by the power of Your great love

My debt is paid, there’s nothing that can

separate my heart from Your great love..

Single Struggles: Seeing Happy Couples

Mon, 21 Oct 2013 13:00:00 GMT

There they go walking in front of you again. Mr. and Mrs. Perfect with their awesome married life. I bet they have a kid on the way! Wait, there is another young couple walking the opposite way holding hands and clearly in puppy love. Uh, it’s time to leave the mall because just when you had seen enough there is an elderly couple that looks like the were on the movie “UP” sharing ice cream at the food court. By now you are wondering if you are the only person who just doesn’t always want to see happy couples all the time!

As a single adult, seeing “happy” couples can sometimes set you back for a moment, even longer depending on your desire to be with someone else. Remember that if you have made a decision to follow Christ you are complete in Him and nothing else. No relationship or object can fill the desires of your heart like Christ’s love can.

Now the moment has passed. Maybe someday God will have someone for you like that but right now He is in control and you do not need to be with someone to be happy. Remember that God knows the desires of our hearts and we need to trust Him with those desires and allow Him to work those into our lives. Now, on to the grocery store!

Can’t Sleep?

Thu, 17 Oct 2013 13:00:00 GMT

Psalm 4 is an interesting look in the heart of David’s struggles as he sleeps. According to the Center for Disease Control (CDC) 40 million people have sleep disorders. 40 MILLION! 62% of adults experience weekly sleep problems keeping them from resting a full eight hours as recommended. Many people struggle with nightmares, restlessness, and even heart issues all because we lack good sleep.

“In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety.”

Psalm 4:8

When do you pray? After a long stressful day of being a single parent, or working extra hours at your job, how do you wind down? In this passage God gives us 8 ways to lead ourselves into a restful night of sleep.

God wants us to rest in Him and His safety as we rest. Maybe if we spent more time in prayer before we slept, we would find our sleep to be a restful experience enhanced by trusting God with our rest. If you suffer from sleep disorders, by all means seek medical help and assistance through modern day God-given solutions. But for many of us we need to start with prayer and taking rest in our Heavenly Father.

“I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me.”

Psalm 3:5

Work/Life Balance as a Single Adult without Children

Mon, 14 Oct 2013 14:00:00 GMT

It’s 4:45 PM and another workday is coming to a close. Or at least it appears that the workday is about to end until your boss calls you and Bill into his office. There is an important meeting with a potential customer the next morning and he needs one of you to stay late to help put together the presentation. Bill is married with a family and quickly explains that he needs to go to his son’s baseball game tonight. You are single without children, but you do have a friend coming in from out of town that you were planning to meet for dinner. Guess who your boss is going to nominate to stay late?

Research supports the perception that single adults without children do not receive the same support in trying to achieve a work-life balance. In a study performed by The Aucklander, 52% of parents felt they were achieving an above average work/life balance compared with 42% of non-parents. The study also showed that 37% of parents said they experienced above average levels of job burnout compared with 48% of non-parents. A study performed by ResearchGate found that 32% of single adults felt their supervisor was supportive of their non-work issues compared with 41% of married adults.

In my own experience, I observed an inequality in the work-life balance between singles and married adults. After graduating college as a single adult, I began to work for a large public accounting firm. The hours were long for everyone in the firm, whether single or married. However, most of the assignments that involved frequent travel went to those who were single rather than those who were married and starting to have families. The firm also encouraged flexible work schedules, but in practice only those with families ever seemed to take advantage of this flexibility.

Perhaps, as a single adult, you are sensing an inequality in the work-life between yourself and your married colleagues. How should you respond? Here are a few thoughts:

Single Struggles: Trusting Others

Mon, 07 Oct 2013 13:00:00 GMT

As a single man in his mid-forties, I lead a pretty blessed life. I have been actively walking with Christ for over thirty years now and have followed Him across three continents and seven or eight countries. I enjoy my work, I am active in my local Church, I am financially stable and I own my own home. I can look back on years of wonderful friendships with healthy, God-honoring, people. For all these blessings, however, I still struggle with trust, particularly in the area of personal friendships. Looking back on the dear friends I have known, the brothers and sisters in Christ who have been such a rich blessing in my life, it seems ridiculous that I would be so hesitant to open my life wide to new friends or that I would still be so afraid of rejection.

If you have been living on this planet for very long, the chances are very good that you have been hurt and disappointed by someone you trusted. Single adults, it would seem, get more than their fair share. Almost by definition, whatever relationships we might have had in the past, didn’t work out. Each of those disappointments, each relational failure, lives in our memory like an old bruise. A tender spot in our emotions, they warn us to be careful, to be ‘safe’ and not let someone hurt us again. They would teach us to isolate ourselves and accept that the pain of loneliness is better than the pain of relationship.

Christ, however, did not call us to live in isolation. So I stay involved in church, and I try to get to know the people in my small group. In spite of the nervousness, I continue to build new friendships. In my experience, the answer to escaping isolation, being vulnerable, and trusting other people is not about believing that other people are trustworthy. They’re not. People are fallen, and even the most sincere friend will eventually disappoint you. No, learning to trust others begins with knowing that their betrayal can never hurt what Christ can’t heal, and they can never take what Christ can’t restore. It is learning that Christ has called me to love in spite of risk and that He will carry me through the inevitable hurt that comes with being a friend. Secure in the love of Christ, I can enjoy the blessings, and sacrifice, of friendship.

Singles Struggles: Baby Envy

Thu, 03 Oct 2013 13:06:00 GMT

Maternal instincts for some women are deep and for single women this causes a challenging problem. Some single women have a deep desire to be mothers, some more than others. For those ladies who have this deep desire, but have not found a spouse to share this with, this post is for you. God made you uniquely as you are and this desire is no less important as a single woman than a married woman. He knows when you walk past others mothers with children, your heart breaks because you desire the same for your life. This desire is baby envy. This is nothing new to the world. In fact, it even happened in Scripture in 1 Samuel 1:1-20 . Hannah wanted a child so much, and was in anguish to the point that when she prayed her lips moved without making a sound, causing Eli to think she was drunk. The Lord heard Hanna and answered her prayers.

For the single ladies who are not single mothers, God knows the desires of your heart, Psalm 37:4 . But you also need to prioritize your relationship with God and allow that to help you emotionally with your desires to be a mother. There is nothing wrong with having those emotions, but the Lord will give you ways to be around children if you ask Him to. Focus on finding ways to be around children, volunteer in places where that desire for you to mother will be met. This may be your church, a local organization, through your married adult friends that have children, or through extended family.

In a conversation with a lifelong single adult missionary, she talked about how she accepted not being able to be married and have children. The older she got the more of a reality it became that a family may not be in the cards for her. So she focused on serving those around her with families and offering them “nights out” frequently to help their marriages and allow her time to express her motherly instincts. It does not fully replace a family of your own, but the Lord will provide you strength in that area of your life if you allow Him.

Lastly, you never know at what age the Lord will provide someone in your life to marry. That person may also have children they are bringing into the relationship that provides an instant family for you to serve. Also, some ladies may choose to adopt a child in need while as a single adult. While not common, this it becoming increasingly possible and an option if the Lord leads you down that path. Trust in the Lord your God in everything (even wanting children) and He will provide the path for you to follow, Proverbs 3:5 !

Single Struggles: Shopping Alone

Mon, 30 Sep 2013 13:00:00 GMT

One single adult told us that they struggled with shopping alone. While some purchases may not be as big a deal on your own, certainly there are times when we all need a wingman or wingwoman for support. When you are single, shopping alone will happen, but if you plan your time you will be able to find a person to shop with you. This is where having a strong social network of friends as a single adult is important.

Church is a great environment to meet other people and build a social network of friends to go to when shopping for life decisions. Next time when you have car trouble, need to make a big purchase, or just meet the cable guy at your house, call a friend and share in the shopping experiences with them. Do not let the pride of being self sufficient keep you from the opportunity to bless others with social interaction.

So go shopping alone from time to time. Sometimes it’s best to find out that the pants that used to fit and now do not when you are alone! But also be humble enough to ask for a second person to go with you when you need it.

Single Struggles: Wanting to be accepted for being single

Mon, 23 Sep 2013 12:00:00 GMT

I’ve been single for 20 years of my life. Yes, I was born single. Not that I thought about it that much throughout my life. It was just something I assumed. But as I approached 17-18, people began asking that question; “Are you dating someone? But I never was.

I am a single man, happy in my lifestyle, and ready to take on the world. It’s not that I dislike marriage. I think it’s a helpful social institution. But my current goals and the calling God seems to have for me don’t seem to include marriage (yet).

Emily Maynard once said it well; “I don’t feel like half a person because I’m single. I only feel like that when my society, my Church, or groups of people who cannot see beyond their own coupled lives, push that half-hearted position on me. I only experience that when I read another Christian book about marriage that talks it up in glorious grandeur for two hundred pages, then adds ‘but being single is better because, as the Apostle Paul says, you can do more ministry as a single person!’ I’m single for now, and plan on being single for a while. I’d love it if I could….just….be accepted for it.”

Now that I’m approaching a life on my own, away from parents, it feels like my general culture and my church culture are all pushing me to marry. But I haven’t found anyone to marry, or any reason to marry at this time. I struggle with finding my place in the church as a man who isn’t actively seeking out marriage.

Yes, I’ve read all the editorials about “marrying young” and “marrying to avoid immaturity.” I’m taught with one word that I’m sufficient, that I don’t need a wife to complete me, but with the next, I’m implored to seek out a mate, because marriage as soon as possible is the best human option for growing as a person. I’m getting mixed messages. Which is it? There are some legitimate points in there. Young Marriage is good; it provides opportunities for growth, fulfillment of unkempt sexual desires, and it helps focus and “mature” some. But it’s not necessarily good for all persons. Some should wait, for the sake of others. But the popularity of these arguments have caused the church to accept this idea that marriage is totally necessary to complete one’s identity. The result is I don’t feel as though I’m okay being single.

I love the Church, and I love my culture. I simply wish that singlehood is accepted as a longer-form lifestyle, supported by my community around me.

Let The Games Begin!

Mon, 16 Sep 2013 13:28:00 GMT

Perhaps you have heard about this. The Game Show Network (GSN), buoyed by the success of “The American Bible Challenge,” has decided to develop another new game show with believers in mind. And so, they are developing “It Takes a Church,” a dating show where church members compete against each other to find the perfect mate for their single co-congregant. For the show, “a church will go on a mission to find love for one lucky, single parishioner…without them knowing! Each week, we’ll visit another church from across the country and surprise a single girl (or guy) with the news that she is about to be saved from the dating world. The congregation, Pastor, friends, and family will all contribute, but in the end our single will decide which suitor she is putting her faith in.”

There are so many things troubling about that description, I don’t know where to begin.

“A church will go on a mission…” Since when is it the MISSION of the church to marry me off? Did I just really misunderstand Matthew 28?

“Lucky, single parishioner…” Not sure “lucky” is the word I would use.

“Without them knowing!” Really? That makes the person even MORE unlucky in my opinion. Granted, the person must at some point sign off on the whole deal, but that is NOT a surprise I would welcome… “Hey Susie-Q! The church voted and decided you need our help and the assistance of a nationally televised game show if you are ever going to find love.”

“Our single will decide which suitor she is putting her faith in.” Okay, I’m trying to remind myself that although the target audience is Christian, the show developers are not necessarily Christian themselves. But still, this comment seems to perpetuate the idea that a single person can or should place their entire faith ANYWHERE but Jesus. I think single women, especially, hear (and sometimes buy into) the lie that if they will find a Godly husband, they can just follow him, while he follows God. Certainly, you put faith in anyone you are going to marry (if you can’t do that, don’t get married), but blindly following anyone besides God will not go well, and ultimately we are to place our faith in Christ.

I am hopeful about one thing with this game show, however. Won’t it be wonderful if it provides a platform for godly men and women to state their beliefs about God’s plan for marriage, or perhaps discuss the uncommon belief that sex was created for marriage only? God can be glorified in more venues and ways than I could ever imagine, so I pray he’ll be glorified in this, and maybe the prayers of some “lucky, single parishioner” will be answered.

UPDATE: “It takes a Church” is scheduled to premiere on June 5, 2014: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JzbqyQrVT_A

Freedom in Confession

Thu, 12 Sep 2013 14:00:00 GMT

“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”

James 5:16

Confession is an interesting thing. Until you have confessed with your mouth that Jesus Christ is Lord, you can not be saved, Romans 10:9 . So clearly if it is important enough that you confess that Christ is Lord to know Him, then what about our sins? Acts 3:19 says that we need to repent of our sins and they will be wiped away.

We know at Table for One Ministries that as a single adult, having a community surrounding you and supporting you is vital. You need a place where you can share your sins with others and let others pray for you. That opportunity comes through a small group. If you don’t have one, find a place where you can join a small group, hopefully with other single adults that share your same walk of life.

“Why a small group?” people ask. Sunday School, Bible Study, Cell Groups, whatever you call them, they are small groups of believers joining together to study God’s Word and share their burdens. These are safe places to confess sins to one another. Challenge yourself as a participant to show up to each meeting with a real prayer request for the group to pray for you and come prepared to pray for others.

Remembering 9/11 in 2013

Mon, 09 Sep 2013 13:20:00 GMT

September 11th, 2001, planes used as missiles attacked our nation and thousands were dead. September 11th, 2012, 11 years after the original attack on our nation we are attacked again overseas in an embassy, many including our ambassador are dead. 9/11 should not just be another day, but a day that we remember and share the stories of that day.

Below is a video of one mans journey leading up to 9/11 and how God used that day to bolden his faith. It is almost 10 minutes long, but we promise as you watch the gripping story it will not feel that long. Take time today to remember where you were 12 years ago. Share that story with others and be bold in your faith. 9/11 saw an incredible surge in church attendance and followers of Christ.

Maybe you were very young on 9/11 and you don’t have much of a story to tell, or maybe like some your life was forever changed on that day. Reflect on the past 12 years and where you have come from and where God is leading you. Are you closer to God than you were then? Maybe it is time to take action and build a closer relationship with God. Time is like a blink of an eye, start living for Christ,

Single Christian or Christian Single?

Mon, 02 Sep 2013 13:36:00 GMT

Which is more prevalent in your life? Being single or being a Christian? Well, if we are giving the correct “churchy” answer, we would say being a Christian, but many times, truth be told, it is more about being single. Our world is more focused on marriage, families, and even civil unions. Single is seen as either very lonely with lots of cats, in a state of waiting with your life on hold for your spouse to come along, or living a wild, party life.

However, the world has a skewed view. The reality is that many of us don’t fit any of those categories. Many of us are great people who are enjoying life, friends & family, our jobs and the ministries we are involved in with our church and community. Some days we are focused on our singleness and some days we are more focused on who we are in Christ. Guess what? Married people have that same struggle of having their identity being wrapped up in being married vs. their identity being in Christ.

Single or married, our identity should be in who we are in Christ. God doesn’t love you more if you are single or if you are married. He loves you incredibly more than we can even imagine. From John 10:10 we learn that Jesus came that we might have life and have it more abundantly. What a gift to us! Are you living your life abundantly or are you just surviving another day as a single waiting to see if love will ever come along? It is time to get up and enjoy life and do the things that God has for you – things that will bless you and bring honor and glory to Him.

Most of the problems you have as a single will still be there when you are married or they will be replaced with different issues that come with marriage. The answer for all struggles is in your relationship with Christ. As a Christian, do you believe that God truly has your best interests at heart? I do. Sometimes God doesn’t always do what I thought he would, yet I know he does what is best for me and will bless me. If where you are in life brings you down, do a gut-check to see where your focus is. Are you focused on you or unconditionally on God? I say “unconditionally” because we need to be honest with ourselves. To focus on God with conditions about what we want, is really just to be focused on ourselves.

When you start falling into that pattern of worry and despair about where you are in life, immediately stop allowing yourself to go down that road. Instead, replace it with seeking God and thinking on the many ways he has blessed you – doing that will change your life.

Rumor Has It

Thu, 29 Aug 2013 13:20:00 GMT

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

Ephesians 4:29

Can you keep a secret? Secrets are intended to keep someone away from information that they “should not know.” The funny thing with secrets is that people tend to get hurt when they create too many secrets. Secrets can hurt relationships and even break marriages. A a single, you have the ability to let only “wholesome” talk come out of your mouth and choose to build up those around you. Too often singles get caught in the “secret trap” in their social groups and relationships are forever damaged by gossiping about those secrets. Here are a few proverbs about gossip.

Some of you are saying right now, “But where is the line with gossip?” Gossip is unwarranted sharing of information to others for conversation. Unwarranted information is things you share that no one asked you to share, but you thought it necessary. Gossip also tears another person down or diminishes them. When you share gossip you are sinning and causing the person you are with to sin as well. All of us all guilty of gossip, either intentional or unintentional. Keep in mind that if we keep our conversation beneficial to those who listen, we are less likely to gossip and more likely to build others up.

Do Not Worry

Mon, 26 Aug 2013 13:25:00 GMT

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

Matthew 6:34

As a single adult there is a lot to worry about. There is sometimes pressure from friends and family to “find someone and settle down,” finances with only one income, and balancing a social life that is honoring to God and does not break the bank. When Jesus is talking here, He wants all of us to know that God sees our worries. Yes, you as a single adult sometimes worry about what you will eat, what career path you will choose, who you will socialize with, and what clothes you will wear. Jesus is talking to all of us in Matthew 6:25 with His Sermon on the Mount to put our trust in God because He is the one who has provided for us and will continue to do so, just like the flowers in the fields.

God already knows your worry and He even tells us in verse 6:27 that none of us can add to our life by worrying. So, what should we be doing instead of worrying? Verse 6:32: “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Your relationship with God is priority #1 above any worries or anxieties you might have. Focus on honoring God, and you will not have to worry about any of your day to day trials. Click here to see what a relationship with God looks like and encourage those around you who worry to keep their eyes on God and let Him take care of the details.

On the Market

Thu, 22 Aug 2013 13:10:00 GMT

So you are looking for someone to date and you are officially “on the market.” Good for you! If you have a desire to find someone and maybe a future spouse, you have to be willing to put yourself out there and meet new people. You can do this in many ways and some of them can even cost you money. Here are few Pro’s and Con’s to meeting other singles in certain venues.

So, get out there and get on the market to find someone. Dating involves a little bit of risk-taking to possibly find your spouse. Always remember that you are complete in Christ as a follower of Him and you don’t need a date to feel whole. Date because God has placed that desire in your heart and not to a fill a hole of loneliness.

Is Me Being Single the Problem?

Mon, 29 Jul 2013 13:10:00 GMT

I am a single woman in her late thirties. I have become accustomed to family and friends questioning my singleness. Am I seeing anyone? Do I want to be seeing anyone? Do I not desire marriage and family? Do I not fear an approaching loneliness as I grow older?

Not until recently, however had I been confronted with this notion that my singleness (and the many other single Christians in the church today) is a major contributing factor to the downfall of our churches, and even our nation. Nor had I been accused of committing the sin of sloth by not finding a spouse already.

When I stumbled across the website for “UnMarried: the Rise of Singleness,” a faith-based documentary currently in production, I honestly thought I had discovered a tiny fragment of dogmatic men who looked in disdain upon anyone who did not follow in their same path of early marriage and a “quiver full” of children. I was shocked, however, that as I began to research this ideology that they are far from a tiny fragment. As the traditional family unit is continually being torn apart in society and politics, fingers are beginning to point towards Christian singles as a major cause in the downfall of the family.

God created marriage and ordained it for his glory. He created us with a desire for fellowship and relationship. If marriage is a desire God has given you, don’t wait for God to miraculously drop your future spouse in front of you. Seek the wisdom of godly friends (single and married), pray for guidance and wisdom and with his leading, actively seek the spouse God has for you. But beware of becoming so focused on the search that you forget wherein your ultimate fulfillment lies. Jesus is enough. If you are not content without a spouse, you will not be content with a spouse.

On the other hand, perhaps marriage is NOT what God has for you, or perhaps not now. While we don’t know every move God has for us, he does not leave us scrambling in the dark searching for our next step. We have the promise of Isaiah 42:16 (among many others), which states “I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.” I want to be on the path God has laid out for me. If I am in His Word, in constant communication with Him, and walking according to His leading, I will end up where He wants me to be (which may include seeking and finding a spouse, or may not). Until God has prompted me in that direction, however, I will continue to be single and continue to believe I am in His will to be so.

Single Sinner

Thu, 25 Jul 2013 13:00:00 GMT

The filmmakers of “UnMarried: the Rise of Singleness” are not alone in their views that singleness and delayed marriage are significant concerns in today’s church. In his 2004 sermon, “The Mystery of Marriage,” Albert Mohler, president of Southern Baptist Seminary, addresses the “sin” of singleness.

Mohler states that in 1 Corinthians 7:7 , Paul is referencing his own gift of celibacy, which according to Mohler is a gift most single adults do not possess. He states that if you are not one of the rare few with the gift of celibacy–the ability to happily live out your days without sex or the desire for sex, then you have conversely been given the gift of marriage. So get to marrying.

Mohler continues to say marriage is not a lifestyle option but a scriptural “expectation … adulthood equals marriage” and that delaying marriage can be sinful. “Our responsibility as a counter-cultural people, claimed by God’s grace, purchased by Christ’s blood, is not just to be men and women…but to be husbands and wives and fathers and mothers.” He states that single Christians are slothful and revel in a life free of responsibility and accountability and therefore put off marriage indefinitely, despite their Christian responsibility to marry sooner rather than later.

Mohler is certainly not as extreme as the UnMarried movement, however. While he does put forth a view that marriage should be actively sought and achieved at an early age (preferably by age 20), he does not go so far as to indicate that one should get married for the sake of marrying alone. Mohler exhorts his listeners to seek marriage actively and not consider it part of a lifelong “to do” list to be checked off once you are properly educated, employed and established as a full-functioning adult. Rather, he contends that Christian singles should “remember that your role [in seeking a spouse] is faithfulness. God is in charge of results and His timing or outcome for us may diverge from ours.”

“The Mystery of Marriage” raises several questions that Christian singles should address. Should Christians be actively seeking a spouse as early as their teen years? Is delaying marriage while you complete your education or ensuring your financial security is sinful? And what does it mean to “actively” seek a spouse anyway? Finally, how should the church address these issues and minister to their single congregants?

Is Singleness Causing a Downfall of our Churches? Our Nation?

Mon, 22 Jul 2013 13:00:00 GMT

Singles are sometimes confronted with a litany of (inappropriate?) questions, such as “why hasn’t anyone married you yet?” As uncomfortable and potentially insulting as those questions are, there is now the theory that singleness contributes to our nation’s downfall.

That is among the points of Family Vision Films new faith-based documentary now in production called “UnMarried: the Rise of Singleness.” The film includes interviews with theologians, families, married adults and single adults to understand why people choose “delayed marriage,” or “prolonged singleness.” The film seems to take a firm stand against singleness, operating under the belief that Christians should marry young, with the decision to marry being perhaps more important than the decision of who to marry. One article recently linked on their Facebook page lists ten reasons to marry and have children at a young age. UnMarried specifically approves of reason #3: “Because you will never really find the right person and if you do, you’re probably not the right person for them.”

In the “pre-trailer,” one interviewee states that singleness “is the fundamental problem of our social systems. It is a fundamental problem with our churches and education systems, and it will yield severe, severe, socio-economic problems in years to come…If we don’t address this issue, we’re done. There is no future for the family. There’s no future for the church. There is no future for our Nation.”

The filmmakers are using their Facebook page to conduct research for their film. They ask questions for their followers to respond to, post links to articles that address singleness and/or early marriage, and allow followers to voice their own queries. Their followers are on a spectrum from believing God will provide you with a spouse in his timing to believing it is a parents responsibility to find a spouse for their eighteen year-old (or younger) child.

Follow Table For One Ministries on our Facebook page as we repost some of the questions and links UnMarried is using for research and respond with your comments. We would like to have a healthy, Biblical discussion on the issues, myths, and outright insulting fallacies being stated today about the Christian single. Furthermore, we want to highlight some of the invalid and unbiblical arguments facing singles, particularly Christian singles, today.

Single and Having the Time of my Life?

Mon, 08 Jul 2013 13:00:00 GMT

There is a thought out there that somehow when you are single, you should “be having the time of your life.” That before marriage and kids there is a magical time of singleness that is full of freedom, without responsibilities, with no regrets, and no worries. The only support for this notion is found in a shallow understanding of 1 Corinthians 7:32-34 where Paul acknowledges that being married can create a “divided interest” between serving God and serving your spouse.

True life happens when you give your life to Christ and follow Him. Laying down any distractions, sins, or lifestyles that pull you away from His will. We all have 24 hours in a day to live for God as His followers. The time of our life should be focused on using that life for Kingdom purposes!

Being single is great! But so is being married, having kids, having grandkids! Every life stage is great when you follow Christ! As a single adult you do have the advantage of making a decision, consulting with God and taking action. Other life stages may require more input from affected parties, this is why Paul wishes we were single like him even though he supports marriage. (1 Corinthians 7:7)

Be bold for Christ as a single. Have fun, go on trips, go on mission, go and follow the One who has saved you by grace! This is not the “time of your life” but a time to give your life to Christ and follow Him undivided wherever He may take you.

Freedom

Thu, 04 Jul 2013 13:27:00 GMT

Fourth of July, Independence Day; the day when Americans celebrate the very heart of our national identity—our freedom. While we celebrate that freedom with hot dogs and fireworks, and acknowledge the great sacrifices individual citizens have made to secure it, we also need to remember that our national liberty is ultimately of this world.

The only true freedom is found in Jesus Christ. Part of his mission was to “proclaim freedom for the captives” ( Isaiah 61:1 ). When we give Christ control and make Him Lord in our lives, we are granted an eternal freedom that can never be taken away from us. Each time we lean towards the world and away from God, we waste the freedom for which Christ died. Our pride and stubbornness can lead us to think we have the “right” to do as we please ( 1 Corinthians 10:23 ). But Paul warned against such behaviors. “You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge in the flesh; rather serve one another humbly in love” ( Galatians 5:13 ). .

For more than two centuries, American soldiers have fought and sacrificed for our freedom. They have striven to ensure our “unalienable rights [of] life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness”—our very freedom. Not just to dream of what we want in life, but to chase those dreams. What a waste, therefore, to sit by idly, letting our days go by without pursuing our happiness.

Likewise, and much more importantly, Christ died that we might have abundant life ( John 10:10 ), or as The Message puts it: “ more and better life than they ever dreamed of .” Jesus came to release us from the slavery of sin.There are some sins in my life that I seem to repeat over and over. I get tired of fighting my sin. I find myself praying that God would not get tired of me asking forgiveness for the same sin I needed forgiveness for yesterday. Many of us struggle in this way, but if I give up struggling, if i give up the pursuit, I am squandering my freedom.

I would not want to explain to a soldier, someone who sacrificed for my freedom, that I treated that sacrifice as anything less than a precious gift—that I did not pursue my happiness with everything I had. In the same way, I have no desire to explain to Jesus that I gave into my flesh and abused the freedom He gave me—that I chose not to pursue the abundant life he has for me.

This Fourth of July I pray that I will serve others “humbly in love,” pursue the dreams God has given me and thereby honor the One who made me truly free indeed.

The Dating Line

Mon, 01 Jul 2013 13:00:00 GMT

Where is the line in dating? That invisible line we all wish we knew between what is too far and equally what is too conservative. We are not just talking about physical lines, but spiritual and emotional lines as well. When it comes to physical lines, 1 Timothy 3:1 is directed at deacons, but we all should strive to “be above reproach” as believers with they way we engage in a physical relationship. Instead of asking “How far can I go before marriage” you should try to be above reproach. This means others can see you are both striving to honor God with your physical limits in public and private. Sex before marriage is off limits, period. Anything that gets close enough for you to ask if it is okay, is too close to be above reproach.

Secondly, we should have spiritual lines in dating. These lines keep us from over committing ourselves before the time is right. This line is hard to define, but the first spiritual test is if you are both equally “yoked” for one another, 2 Corinthians 6:14 . Are you spiritually compatible with one another? This should be a reflection of where you and your potential partner are in your walk with the Lord. They don’t have to match, but they need to be close so you can connect with one another in Christ. Also, when you say “I love you” it should come from a Biblical meaning found in 1 Corinthians 13 , not an emotional response to a moment.

Last, guard your emotions and set lines. Yes, you can share your emotions, but this should be done gradually as you begin to know one another. There is no timeline to this, but you should keep your relationship with God your priority in dating and not replace time with Him for time with them. You are potentially making a life long decision with who you are dating. Make sure you don’t base that on a short term relationship.

Looking for the perfect date?

Mon, 24 Jun 2013 13:05:00 GMT

As kids growing up we have a simple view of the way things should be in life. Money should be easy to come by, we will have big houses like we see on TV, and people get married to Mr. or Miss Perfect. There is only one problem with this, no one is perfect but Christ, Isaiah 6:3 . Life is also full of sin, trials, tribulations, and hardships. We are all sinners and make mistakes and seem to make more of them the older we get, Romans 3:23 .

You find yourself as a single adult, unmarried and looking for someone out there like you, “a good Christian.” So you set your bar high, you don’t look for anyone with kids already or a divorcee. You want someone to be a virgin and preferably a college degree with no financial burdens. You even have some physical preferences that only a small percentage of people will fall into, but it’s ok to want these things because you are Mr. or Miss Perfect. Wrong.

When you truly turn the mirror on yourself, you will find a person full of sin and unable to pass most of the tests you hold as a standard for others. You have sin in your past that not many people know and you try to forget about, but it is there. The reason you don’t think about it is because Christ died once for all sinners and sins, 1 Peter 3:18 . So you are covered by grace and forgiveness of your sins. If you have been forgiven of those sins and yet you still judge others for their mistakes, you have created a double standard when looking for the perfect date.

Single adults, you need to pray to God for guidance of who to marry and follow His path to a person He chooses for you. Follow God’s choice for you if and when you choose to date. Set aside all your presuppositions of what you are looking for in a mate, and ask God who you should date.

Christmas Music All Year

Thu, 20 Jun 2013 13:20:00 GMT

I have a confession to make. A few years ago I decided to make a major decision in my life. I would no longer contain Christmas music to one month of the year and in fact I would proudly say Christmas is my favorite music all year long! I play it when coworkers are around, in my car with friends, even post on Facebook anytime I had the urge to sing some Christmas cheer! Not all people approve of using Christmas music in this manner, but most find it amusing that I am so bold about my favorite music.

You see, when I play Christmas music all year round, I get to sing about the birth of God becoming man to pay a debt for my sins I can not repay. Yes, not all Christmas songs are about Jesus and I enjoy them as well, but the majority of them are about Jesus or a time of year when people come together as family and visit with each other. Singing is a way of reminding me of Christ and what He has done for me as a reminder to share that gift with the world.

God becoming man is major! So is Christ dying on a cross to pay a debt for all mankind’s sins so that we would not die, but have everlasting life. Christmas music will often calm me down when I am upset about something or worked up for no good reason. It has also become a way for me to share my testimony with others as I am afforded the chance to explain why I love Christmas music all year round. I have been able to give full Gospel presentations in the middle of huge retails stores and talk with strangers in line all because of my love for Christmas music. Because, love it or hate it, Christmas music all year is a great conversation starter, a starter that involves Christ.

So what music do you listen to most? I am not saying you have to adopt what I am doing, but what you listen to the majority of the time may influence your actions more than you think. I love all kinds of music and listen to it all, but I want the music I listen to most to motivate me to share the Gospel with others. What do you want the music you listen to do for you?

Thorn in My Side

Thu, 13 Jun 2013 13:11:00 GMT

Thorns hurt. Have you ever had a thorn in your finger? It is normally hard to get out and bleeds as well as bruises. As a single adult and as a Christian, you have a thorn in your side, all of us do. You may not know what it is yet, but there is something you wish you never had to deal with or had thoughts of. It could be a physical ailment, an addiction, sinful thoughts, still being single, being single again or anything else that makes you cry out to God to have ____ removed from your life. Paul shared this pain with you.

In 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 , Paul is talking about how he has something in his life that keeps him in some type of hardship. So much so that he cried out to God three times for it to be taken from him, and it never was. God heard Paul and simply replied “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Then it clicked for Paul, he would boast in his weakness so that the Lord may be glorified! So he makes a stand that going forward he will delight in his weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and difficulties because when he is weak then he truly strong.

If only all of us had the mindset that in our weakness we are strong, that our thorn is our strength not our excuse. People ask for more money, power, job positions all because it seems too hard to serve God where they are at. But where God has you is right where He wants you and that thorn is your strength. Do not hide to the world around you your pain and hardships. It is those situations that make you human and connect you to others in order to share the Gospel. You’re not a perfect Christian, so stop trying to be and be real about your pain, but in being real remember that your source of strength comes from the Lord. Share that along with your pain and you will Christ glorified because of your thorn.

I Got This

Thu, 06 Jun 2013 13:00:00 GMT

Singles love going to eat with other people and being social. The other part of being single is that your budget only has one income and eating out often can get expensive. Most singles run into this problem and have to cut back on eating out, or keep it under control at the least. But, there is something about going to lunch with someone else that helps us bond with one another and allows walls to come down. Jesus broke bread with His disciples and used that time to teach and connect with them, so it is no surprise we do the same.

But, when was the last time was you purchased someone else’s lunch? Have you recently said to your lunch partner “I got this” and purchased their meal? A meal may cost $8-$10 but your action was not a monetary one, it was one that demonstrated an act of love and selflessness. Still doubtful? Give someone a $10 bill and watch their reaction. They may say “thank you” and then move on without even keeping up with how that $10 was spent. But, purchase that same person a meal for lunch with that $10 and they immediately are grateful and remember your generosity. Your intentional act of giving will hopefully bring glory to God. Be discerning in how you bless someone with buying their meal and always be discreet. Be a cheerful giver and learn through your act of kindness how to serve and bless others everyday.

Now, we can hear those of you saying you don’t have enough money to buy someone’s meal. Start small with your acts of generosity and start budgeting funds to be able to do so. Soon you will be a cheerful giver that is demonstrating the love of Christ with others. Go ahead, try it. Not all results will be gratifying, but if you continue to bless others, you too will be blessed by your giving. Don’t let the mindset of being single on one income keep you from telling your lunch partner, “I got this.”

DTR – Define the Relationship

Thu, 23 May 2013 13:00:00 GMT

DTR – Define the Relationship

So you have been on a few dates with someone and things look promising. However, you do not know where they stand in their feelings and you would like to be in a committed relationship. Its time for a DTR. Defining the relationship is an honest conversation with someone else about where you stand in their life and vise versa. Defining a relationship helps you give appropriate priority to that relationship in your life. As a single adult, your relationship priorities can change at different stages of your life. But one relationship should remain #1.

Your relationship with Christ should always be your first priority. Spending time with Him daily through prayer, reading His Word, and Worship. From time to time you may need to have a DTR with Christ and know where you stand. He will always be the same, but we sometimes drift away or decrease the importance of that relationship. Knowing where your priorities are at all times will help you with your DTR’s and keep you focused on honoring God.

Don’t be afraid to have a DTR in any of your relationships. Do them as soon or as often as you like, but doing them is key to remembering that Christ should come first among all our relationships.

Sin Will Make You Stupid

Mon, 20 May 2013 12:00:00 GMT

Have you ever heard the phrase “Sin will make you stupid?” Credit Dr. Danny Akin for that phrase. It’s true, sin will make people do incredibly ridiculous things knowing they will get caught in the act. Take people who look at things on the internet in a corporate work environment. Not all, but most corporations have a way to track what you see on your screen while you are at work. Knowing that people get caught and fired all the time, people still choose to view those things in the workplace. E-mail is another thing that is easily tracked and leaves behind evidence of what you are communicating with other people. Recent examples include former CIA Director David Petraeus and South Carolina former governor Mark Sanford. Both highly respected people in high ranking positions that let sin make them stupid.

So how do you as a single adult keep sin from sending you down the wrong path and doing something “stupid?” James 1:4-10 tells us to flee from evil and drawn near to the Lord. The Messages says “Quit dabbling in sin and purify your life.” The last verse says to “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up.” So do you dabble in sin from time to time not thinking it is a big deal? It’s not the “major sins,” but ones like gossip, white lies, and taking a double look with lust at the person who just passed you by that you keep on hand as a little sin and don’t fully give to God that will make you stupid.

God wants us all to live life and to have it more abundantly. We can do that by cutting out sin where we see it in our lives to keep us above reproach with the Lord. As a single adult you need to surround yourself with people to support you and pray for you on a weekly basis. Be involved in your church organization and find those people that will keep you from making bad or “stupid” choices.

Trust in the Lord

Thu, 09 May 2013 12:02:00 GMT

Trust can take a long time to earn and seconds to end. Trust is the foundation of currency in the world, agreements between Nations, and the foundation of a relationship with Christ. The Bible speaks a lot about trusting in the Lord. Proverbs 3:5-6 says “With all your heart you must trust the Lord and not your own judgement”. Always let Him lead you, and He will clear the road for you to follow.” Faith and trust are closely related. Most of the time when faith is used the word trust could be in its place.

Faith and trust do not happen without taking a step forward with God. When life situations hit you hard and you are not sure what to do next, trust in the Lord and don’t lean on your own understanding. Maybe He is calling you to be single for awhile or asking you to relocate cities or even be a missionary overseas. Trust His path and follow Him; He will take care of the details.

Trusting the Lord is how Table for One Ministries came to be. PJ Dunn & Christina Dunn left their jobs, sold most of their belongings and moved 1,000 miles away. When they first left, the destination was unknown, but some hints were given along the way. God took a year to refine their path and direction and led PJ to start Table for One Ministries.

Stepping out on faith and trusting the Lord is scary! It often requires much sacrifice and patience but when the fullness of the Lord’s plan is revealed, it is an amazing thing to be a part of. What has the Lord asked you to sacrifice in order to trust Him and follow His lead?

Is your family keeping you single?

Wed, 08 May 2013 13:00:00 GMT

This article is written by Match.com on Yahoo and is an interesting look on a single’s life and what is keeping singles, single. Family relationships can be hard to navigate as a single. The longer you are single, the harder it seems to get. Your vote in the family feels devalued and this is only exacerbated if you have siblings who are married with children. Also, family can be too involved in your life as a single adult. It may be time to set-up some boundaries with your parents in regards to finances and making decisions. Alternatively, those singles who don’t have parents miss out on the support structure of family. While this is hard, it should not be the reason to keep you from getting out there and finding someone.

Here is the link to the article, it is well written and worth a read. What do you think? Are Parents “crampin” your style as a single?

http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=13175&TrackingID=526103&BannerID=1381171

Abundant Life

Thu, 02 May 2013 13:00:00 GMT

Life can be hard. There is also no promise in Scripture that being a follower of Christ will result in an “easy life”, John 16:33 . When Christ died on the cross for our sin He took upon Himself to be a payment or atonement for us to the Lord so that we may have a relationship with Him. It is that relationship that gives this life abundance and value.

“I am the door: by me if any man enter in, he shall be saved, and shall go in and out, and find pasture. The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. I am the good shepherd: the good shepherd giveth his life for the sheep.”

John 10:9-11 KJV

As a single adult you interact with people every day that seem to not be living life to its fullest. They go to their jobs and clock in and out without any true joy. You see them in your social groups drinking to be accepted by others or dating people to feel valued. These actions and ones like it are the actions of people who do not understand abundant life. Having a relationship with God is not simply something to keep in your back pocket, but to be a relationship that grows and compels you to act different and share the Gospel.

Many singles that desire to be married think that abundant life will be a spouse, a family, and a big house. Wrong. These are all the wrong types of relationships for seeking to live life abundantly. Abundant life comes only through Christ and following Him.

Hand in Hand

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 13:00:00 GMT

You’re walking through the mall on your way to get a shirt and you see it, a couple holding hands. As a single adult, you have been pretty good with not feeling overwhelmed in your singleness, but when you see that emotional and physical connection someone else has, you desire it. Dating may or may not be in your life at the moment, but when you see couples holding hands it heightens your awareness you do not have that same relationship. This fantasy of a perfect couple holding hands and being complete is false. The only relationship with unconditional love and acceptance is with Jesus Christ.

Be encouraged! Holding hands is not all it is cracked up to be, especially if the other person has sweaty hands! That emotion of wanting a relationship may be partially filled by another person someday, but regardless of your relationship status the only thing that can fill any void is Christ. Chris is the beginning and the end, Revelation 22:13. Psalm 37:4 says that He knows the desire of our hearts, so if you desire a relationship with someone else take joy in knowing Christ knows that. Lastly, Matthew 28:20 tells us that Christ is with us through the end of the age. So next time you see that couple holding hands, remember you are not alone in Christ. With Him, you do not need anything else, but He knows if you desire to be married some day.

Choose: Christmas or Easter?

Thu, 28 Mar 2013 14:15:00 GMT

Christmas: Christ was born! God became man in flesh to be 100% God and 100% man. His birth is God’s way of offering a perfect sacrifice for all mankind’s sins. Not to mention all the Christmas lights, trees, Christmas music, giving and receiving gifts, and time with family. Christmas is pretty awesome.

Easter: The child born fully man and fully God is fulfilling prophecy the week leading up to his crucifixion. His apostles break bread with Him and celebrate Passover. Then, Jesus is arrested and brutally attacked and hung on a cross to die, and He did. But on the third day, He rose again, defeating death and He awaits His Followers to join Him in Heaven! There are also Cadbury eggs, Easter bunnies, baskets of candies as gifts, hunting for eggs with kids, and great music about Christ’s sacrifice. Easter is pretty awesome.

What if someone asked you to choose? Could you choose one event as more important than the other? It’s a hard choice, right? Luckily, we don’t have to choose. Christ’s life from beginning, to end, to resurrection is something to be celebrated all year long.

It is a fun question to ask of Followers of Christ, but what about your friends and co-workers? How would they choose? Would it be a decision based on how the world defines these holidays or how Scripture defines them?

Believers need to be bold in how we celebrate these holidays to demonstrate what they mean to us. Be firm in your holiday celebrations. Keep the focus where it should be, but have fun with the rest too.

Use a simple gift to share the gift of Christ, as a way to connect with friends, coworkers, and neighbors. Share the gift and give non-believers the truth on these holidays.

Come and Follow Me

Mon, 25 Feb 2013 00:48:00 GMT

We live in a world of would-be leaders. An American adult who ventures into a bookstore or spends time browsing on Amazon will find hundreds of titles that promise to unlock the hidden potential of our “inner leader”. Books claim to distill the essence of leadership by examining the lives of successful CEOs, entrepreneurs, and statesmen. Leaders are the ones who make headlines, who supposedly make history, and who our culture is constantly telling us we should emulate if we want to have lives worth living. Being a follower, we are told in many ways, is for the lazy, the not-so-clever, the unoriginal, the weak.

Little wonder, then, that so few people speak, preach, or write about how to follow!

And yet…the command for anyone who would call themselves a Christian is unmistakable: we are to follow Him who had mercy on us and saved us from a life of sin and despair apart from God. Jesus used the same words for each of his disciples: “Follow me.”

Okay, fine, says the Christian. We know on an intellectual level that we are called to be followers of Christ, but in a culture where there is so much talk about how to lead, what are we to make of (and, more importantly, do with) Jesus’ unavoidable calling to follow Him? Strange and somewhat morbid-sounding words and phrases such as “obey,” “lay down one’s life,” and “take up one’s cross” are used in the Bible to describe the posture Believers must have if we are to enter into the Kingdom of Heaven.

I would guess that when many, if not most, Christians hear phrases like these and have a vague, somewhat ominous view of a God who wants to deprive them of their every comfort and happiness in life. A God who might call on them to go live in the jungles of Africa and eat the insides of strange animals. This fear has served to paralyze many people (myself included) from acting at times when they have sensed God speaking to them.

One of the many subtle and ingenious lies the Enemy whispers in the ears of many Christians is “following Christ” implies merely a vocation (often a change of vocation), when in fact it means something simultaneously much greater than, and also more ordinary than, a simple change of careers.

In Matthew 4:19-22, Jesus calls Andrew and his brother Peter to “follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.” Verse 20 says, “Immediately they left their nets and followed Him.” Verses 21-22 tell of Jesus calling James and John, who also “immediately left the boat and their father, and followed Him.” It is significant that Matthew uses the word “immediately” in both cases–there was no hesitation on the part of any of these men when Jesus issued his very radical call for them to leave their families and give up their livelihoods to accompany Him on His earthly mission.

How many of us can honestly agree we would follow Christ’s command with no second-guessing or “a sober weighing of the pros and cons,” regardless of what He asks?

There is another point we often forget. Jesus’ calling for the disciples wasn’t really as much about giving up their families and changing their vocations as it was about just being with Him and spending time learning His ways–learning to love Him and absorbing His very presence. What Jesus really wanted from them, of course, is the same thing God wanted from Abraham centuries before when He called on him to sacrifice his precious son, Isaac: an utter trust in Him which results in a willingness to immediately relinquish whatever or whomever one loves most on this earth to follow Jesus with one’s whole heart, mind, and strength.

God doesn’t want just our vocational service; He wants our hearts and our very lives.

Yes, this does sometimes involve a radical change of direction and even career path, but most of the time following Christ means following Him in the everyday, ho-hum routines of life–as we fight traffic to get to the office, eat lunch with friends and co-workers, or interact with the people we see at the gym.

For me, at least, this constant obedience to Christ in the mundane things is usually far more difficult than a dramatic act of “sacrifice” such as giving up a career and moving to a faraway land. I firmly believe the heroes of the faith are not necessarily those who answer the call to preach, move overseas to be missionaries, or give all their possessions to the poor, but are those who faithfully serve the Lord unnoticed, day in and day out, by being the hands and feet of Christ wherever they may be.

Any act of following Jesus requires a trust born only out of love for Him, a love that in turn can only happen on our part when we have spent so much time in His presence that we no longer believe the lie that God wants to rob us of our joy and make us do something dreadful to prove our love for Him. It is only by obeying Him in the first place that we begin to trust Him to be who He says He is. Single or married, we all make a choice every day when we decide to either ignore God’s voice out of fear and rebelliousness, or to trust in our loving Creator, who knows us infinitely more than we can ever know ourselves. Who will you choose today?

All Things Work Together

Thu, 21 Feb 2013 13:00:00 GMT

We’ve all heard the saying “God works in mysterious ways.” I would like to add, “and we already know why”.

Here is the why:

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”

Romans 8:28

Do you love Him? Are you a born-again Christian having accepted Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior of your life? If so, then be assured God will use the good works and bad works that surround you on this temporal earth to accomplish His plan.

Every day, all things, whether they are good, bad, or just plain ugly, are appointed for our welfare. Afflictions, trial, persecutions, and calamities are numerous. They can weigh us down with questions of why or how something difficult is good for us. But, we need to remember the bad and good in this world are temporary and all the tough “things” contribute to our spiritual growth and God’s ultimate plan–even being single.

Being single may feel like the “thing” in your life that you cannot wait to end. It’s a type of phase or trial. However, Christ says for those who are single can do great things for the Kingdom ( Matthew 19:10-12 ). Paul urges Believers to be single, like him, and he views being single not as a phase to go through, but an opportunity to serve God ( 1 Corinthians 7:7 ). God works in your life as a single, because you are single. If you love God, then your time as a single will work for the good in your life.

So, be comforted that “in all things God works for the good.” “All things” transforms us into the spiritual persons we were created to be. God is preparing us for our everlasting inheritance with Him.

An Emergency Fund Kind of Day

Mon, 18 Feb 2013 20:30:00 GMT

I had a wonderful time visiting with family at Christmas. Due to my job, I traveled back from Tennessee to Texas on Christmas Day . A storm was moving up from the Gulf and another winter front moving down from Oklahoma. Eventually, these two storms would collide. No worries. I carefully planned to avoid the expected collision. According to the weather forecast, I would be in between the storms.

However, both moved faster than expected.

Halfway through Arkansas, I ran into the heavy rain storm that froze and turned to ice. About 15 miles later, I heard the noise. The noise was a tire pierced with a large piece of metal. I managed to ease off the Interstate at an exit with a Shell gas station. An abandoned Shell gas station. I was in the middle of nowhere.

Fortunately, my cell phone Roadside Assistance was able to help me. Within an hour, I was back on the road.

Another 40 miles and I was out of the storm. I had talked with family and they’d checked the weather–it was clear the rest of the way. About an hour later I called again for a check because huge snow chunks, not flakes, but chunks, were hitting my windshield with loud splats. The storm had shifted and taken an ugly turn. The next 100 miles seemed extra long and slow. As I approached the next town, I needed to determine whether to get a hotel room or press on despite the highway conditions. I pressed on.

I saw over 60 cars wrecked or skidded off the road, stuck in ditches. Each incident represented the possible need for Emergency Funds. My Emergency Fund could have been in play if I had decided to stop and get a hotel room. Because I had an Emergency Fund, I knew I could have made that decision. I had a choice.

Now, put yourself in this true story. Do you have an Emergency Fund set aside to tap into if you have a wreck, a snowstorm, an unexpected hotel stay? There’s many other emergency scenarios. You have a dead battery or bad alternator. A bout of flu that require $70 worth of prescriptions. A minor child who runs into a neighbor’s mailbox and it needs to be replaced.

Emergencies will happen, it’s just a matter of timing.

If you don’t have an Emergency Fund, it’s time to get your Emergency Fund in place as if you see the emergency coming. I assure you, at some point, it is. Start small, maybe $100 set-aside for emergencies. Then over time, grow it $500, then $1,000. From there you can determine how much emergency funds you need in your budget to avoid worrying about where money will come from when there is a time of need.

Table For One’s Statement on Marriage

Tue, 05 Feb 2013 03:06:00 GMT

Table for One Ministries’ mission is to build community for single adults through discipleship. Our ministry focus is helping singles to fully realize their completeness in Christ. Yet we also affirm the importance of marriage and believe that being Complete in Christ is not just for singles, but for married individuals as well. Additionally, while we desire to help churches reach and minister to the ever-growing single population, we want to acknowledge the importance of marriage in God’s redemptive plan for this world.

We affirm that biblical marriage is established by God as a life-long covenant between one man and one woman. Marriage is intended to be the perfect example of Christ’s relationship with His church and a living example of the gospel of forgiveness, grace and mercy. The marriage relationship provides the only acceptable channel for physical intimacy between a man and woman. Additionally, marriage is God’s plan for procreation and is vital to fulfilling His will for both mankind and His kingdom.

We believe in the institution of marriage, yet we recognize that there are many Christians who are single for numerous reasons. Our goal is to contribute to the wide-ranging singles community and guide each individual, no matter their marital or relational status, to desire and develop a deep and intimate relationship with Christ. We want to promote the active Christian single lifestyle that does not wait on marriage to fulfill a much needed Christ-like role in the world today.

Dating is Way Too Serious

Mon, 28 Jan 2013 13:00:00 GMT

I attended a Christian college. I lived with a roommate attending seminary. I’ve been a part of a large singles group. Basically, I’ve been in a number of Christian circles. And within each circle I’ve noticed a common thread: Dating is way too serious.

Maybe you can relate? After a date or two, a couple is considered to be dating. After a month, it’s a serious relationship. Within a few months, it’s time to start talking about marriage. (This is a slight exaggeration–but not by much.) It’s easy to see how one or two dates leads to high expectations in a potential dating partner. Every prospective date needs to be evaluated for marriage compatibility right away.

As a result, dating within a Christian group can become stifled. Some choose to date in secret until their relationship is serious. Others choose to date someone outside of the group to avoid the high level of scrutiny. Finally, some choose to avoid dating altogether unless they think someone is the perfect match.

I would venture to guess that most of us wish Christian dating wasn’t like this. Guys are tired of being turned down. Girls are tired of not being asked out. Why can’t dating be more relaxed and transparent? How can the dating culture be changed? Let me share some advice given to me that I believe will help with this dilemma.

Guys, the advice for you is very simple. If she is available and on your mind, ask her out on a date! Don’t spend a lot of time trying to figure out if she is interested in you. Even if she does turn you down for a date, the rejection probably won’t be nearly as bad as you think. (And, if you are rejected in an awful way, she probably wasn’t going to be good dating material!) Don’t spend time researching every aspect of her life. You will get much better answers if you ask questions during a date. You can’t expect dating to be relaxed and transparent if you only ask out girls you’re ready to marry.

Girls, the advice for you is a little more unconventional. If he asks you out on a date, say yes! (This comes with a few caveats, of course. If he is clearly not living for Christ or you don’t trust him, it’s okay to say no. If he’s separated but married, say no.) Don’t worry about compatibility. The best way to find out if you are compatible is on a date. Even if things don’t work out, you still come away with a free meal and a boost of confidence. Also, like it or not, guys have egos. If they have been turned down several times in a row or believe you are going to say no, they may just avoid asking you out in order to avoid rejection.

Singles can’t expect dating to be relaxed and transparent if we’re only saying yes to someone we’re ready to marry.

Coping with Loneliness

Thu, 24 Jan 2013 13:00:00 GMT

Loneliness can come into our lives in many different circumstances. You may be the only person in your home. Society can make a single person feel alone or you may be suffering without no one to turn to for comfort. You may be sad over the loss of a loved one.

Each single adult is faced with the decision to allow loneliness to pervade in your life or not. Being single is not easy. Budgets are tight, friends are sometimes harder to find, churches may not understand why you are still single, and family pressures are increased to find yourself someone to marry. You may have children, lost a spouse, or coming out of a divorce. Often these situations create a void that leaves you feeling alone.

As a single adult, motivate yourself daily to follow and honor God in all you do. Doing so will prioritize goals and values every day and help keep loneliness at bay during your journey. We believe as a single adult everyone has a few days a month they feel alone. If you are lonely in your journey less than few times a month, you’re doing pretty good! While we cannot fully control our emotions in this regard, we can choose to not dwell on them and instead, focus on Christ. For those singles with the desire to marry, it’s a hard task compared to those who are content with their singleness. Regardless, it is Table for One’s stance that if you can go the majority of the month without feeling alone, you are living life to its fullest as a single adult.

The is a loneliness in each of us that can only be filled by a Savior. Jesus understood this. He was 100% man and 100% God. Isaiah 53 says the Savior would be “rejected by all mankind” and He was “familiar with pain.” In his final hours, the men who He invested in His ministry left his side ( Matthew 26:56 ). Mark 15:34 tell us that in His final moments, “…Jesus cried out in a loud voice, …My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” as He took the burden of our sins on the cross, alone.

Christ desires a relationship with each of us so we will never be alone. After Christ rose from the grave, He told us in Matthew 28:20 , “I am with you always, even until the end of the earth.” We are never alone.

He loves you so much and wants to have a relationship with you. You are never alone as a single adult with Christ! Share this news with others around you and be a witness to them of the love of Christ.

How to Give Joy to Your Children at Christmas

Mon, 21 Jan 2013 13:00:00 GMT

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”

Romans 12:18

For single moms or dads, Christmas brings added anxieties. You worry about getting your children something they will like while remaining within your budget. You worry the non-custodial parent will get your child something nicer than your purchase.

And then there’s the question of whom will the child spend Christmas? Will they be with you or the other parent? Will they spend time with both of you on Christmas Day? What about the hand-off? Will you be seeing former in-laws? You know, the ones who hate you and blame you for everything?

Let me begin by saying first–Christmas is about Christ. Keep the focus on Him and let everything else fall into place. We get so wrapped up in the “what ifs” of life that they can steal our joy of the season.

How do we keep the focus on Him? Remember, Christmas is a celebration of the greatest gift ever given. It is a time to focus on not just the miracle of the birth, but the entire gospel story. The greatest gift has already been given; nothing can top it, so stop trying! You will only feed yours and your child’s selfish desires. Give sensible gifts within your budget. Make Christmas a time of worship, not materialistic hedonism. You and your kids will be thankful and better off in the long-term.

Remember, after honoring God in this season, your second priority is your children. They need unconditional love and comfort. They need demonstrations of unconditional love! Remember, as a Christian, you are called to love and live in peace with everyone. Yes, even the ex. That doesn’t mean giving them a kiss or putting yourself in harm’s way. It does mean you need to show love and respect to the other parent, especially in front of your children. Bad mouthing, slinging insults, and trashing your ex or their family will only hurt your children.

Additionally, children thrive on routine and solid expectations. This means they need to know what is happening and when. If you and your ex can agree on a consistent experience for your child, then make plans and follow through. Tell your kids when they will go and return. If the other parent is undependable or does not know for sure if they can be there to pick up the child, then find a time when they can follow through.

Remember above all, we need to be pointing our children to Christ and setting good examples for them. If you do this, they will have a Happy New Year.

Build Your Testimony

Wed, 16 Jan 2013 14:00:00 GMT

What is a testimony? It is simply sharing how you responded to Christ call in your life. After his encounter with Christ when he spoke before King Agrippa the Apostle Paul was an example for us on how to share our testimony.

Read Acts 26 to hear Paul tell his story.

Answer the following questions to help form your salvation testimony:

Simple right? All you have to do is share what happened in your life and how you came to Christ.

Do not be fooled by the enemy who says your story is not as cool or powerful as someone else’s. Don’t fall for the lie that you are not saved as much as another person. God meets people where they are and calls them to Him. Not everyone must have an extreme testimony of being radically saved in order to connect with another person.

Take some time and watch the testimonies of others on YouTube . It is captivating to hear how each one is so different and how God worked in each of their lives. Watch a few of these videos and notice how different each one is. Yours is just as unique and just as powerful. Share your story.

If you don’t know the Lord, start down the path of knowing Him today.

NYE Countdown!

Sun, 30 Dec 2012 21:04:00 GMT

3….2….1…. Happy New Year!

Another year has gone and another one begins. Many singles in your ministry may not want to be alone come the drop of the ball. Starting the year off with friends and fellowship is a great way to look forward to a brighter new year. What can your ministry do to help singles welcome in the New Year? Here are a few tips.

About 15 minutes after the ball drops, have a leader say a word of prayer. Share about your ministry and opportunities for new people to get plugged in. Make sure to end your event 45 minutes to an hour after midnight. You want people to get home safely and the earlier the better for New Year’s Day. Have fun and welcome in another year with your singles group!

Halloween NOT Harvest

Wed, 24 Oct 2012 03:07:00 GMT

Singles ministry leaders, listen up. We are going to share one of the best-kept secrets in singles ministry for FREE. Here it is. Do events that singles want to do, but in a controlled Christ-honoring environment where the love of God is shown. Yes, it is that simple. When it comes to Halloween however, many churches run as far away as possible to be associated with celebrating its existence. But, singles want to gather and be around others at celebrations, holidays, and any occasion that couples or families may choose to gather.

So, here are some tips to help you make Halloween NOT just a Harvest party!

Halloween is also a great time for singles to serve with their local church or community on Halloween night. You can get involved with a church sponsored Trunk or Treat or whatever event your church does to connect with the community on Halloween night. So be sure to plan your halloween party a weekend before October 31st. Your singles will be talking about this event for years to come and telling their coworkers and friends about how much fun they had at the event.
Also be sure to take a moment and let your group know during the event you are with ___ church and invite them to a specific small group time where they can get connected to your ministry. Many singles will bring guests to this type of event because they are single too and are looking for somewhere to share in on the ghoulish fun. This event is a win for reaching new singles, a win for your ministry, and a win for the church getting involved in the community.

East Asia Trip

Wed, 16 May 2012 03:30:00 GMT

I had never traveled outside of the United States, let alone gone further west than Texas. Presented with an opportunity to go and deliver Bibles to Chinese tourists in East Asia was a tempting offer, however with only a few months until my wedding day I had reservations about traveling so far, and most of all the finances involved. So I declined and continued on being a singles minister at my church. Then the Lord provided all the funds to go on the trip and the team needed just one more guy to join them. I heard the Lord clearly,”Go!”.

So, I did my research, packed my bags for East Asia, and prepared for my first experience overseas in missions. I had no clue what to expect and expected a third world experience. Nothing could be further from the truth. We landed in East Asia before traveling to our final destination and I was blown away by how much our cultures were alike and how simple it was to travel in another country. Then we continued on to our final destination and I was greeted with internet, food, bottled water, electricity and a normal toilet. All my fears were gone!

Every day I would Skype home to my family and fiance. My mother was in the hospital fighting an infection from breast cancer treatments and I was able to talk to her every day. I also wrote down every thought and funny thing that happened so I could remember it for years to come. The first day we got to speak the native language and offer free Bibles was incredible. This was truly an awesome ministry of empowering people with God’s Word, many who had not seen a printed copy and cherished the idea of owning one to read. I even was able to be a singles minister to a US soldier stationed and on medical leave. I was able to be a singles minister, a million miles away from my church. God is awesome.

One day I woke up, having dreamed all night in the native language which I did not know. It was a happy dream, but just like reality, I had no clue what was going on. The Lord was deepening my heart for these people and to this day I pray for them. When our trip concluded, we had passed out over 10,000 Bibles in one week and saw people come to know the Lord. My biggest take away from this trip was that God had grown me through this trip and every person should experience another culture in missions as part of their spiritual growth.

I want to encourage you as a single adult to be bold in your finances and time for the Kingdom. Make a plan to go on mission for Him and take opportunities and risks to see that happen in your own life. Missions in another country is something to be experienced in person if at all possible, but if you can’t go, then support and fund others to do so. Your gift will be helping them to grow spiritually and share the Good News around the globe. Be active in missions as a single adult and let God use you any way He can for His glory.

A Beer with Jesus?

Sun, 18 Mar 2012 02:06:00 GMT

Singles have every opportunity to misuse alcohol. From social situations or exploring a new relationship, to being alone at home where no one is watching. Many theologians have debated the issue of alcohol for Christians, but we will simplify a few things for this post.

For leaders, 1 Timothy 3:8 says you are not to be given too much wine. So as a leader, be above reproach and sensitive to those struggling with the issue. Choose not to drink in the company of those who could be confused or weakened by your actions. It’s your responsibility as a leader to be an example, so be one. Case closed.

Now, for what you are looking to read in the post.

Alcohol is not mentioned in Scripture as a substance we should not drink. However, repeatedly the Word talks about how drunks are not honoring God and make fools of themselves. So, where is the line? How many drinks is one too many? We simply believe when it comes to finding a line, to stay as far away from it as possible. Sure, you can have a responsible drink with friends who don’t take offense, but NEVER drink to socially impress someone, be part of the “in crowd”, or to have “fun”. Love those around you enough not to drink in front of them if it will cause them to stumble. If your drinking causes someone to stumble, the drink is not worth it.

Nothing could be further from truth than the idea of getting drunk to have “fun”. Single adults have fun all the time without the influence of alcohol to make it happen. At a dance party, a deejay told a singles minister he’d never seen so many people have fun on New Year’s Eve without alcohol. The minister replied “And the best part is, we wake up without headaches tomorrow and remember all of it!”

Being drunk causes harm to your body and your mind, and God calls those who get drunk fools. Party, have real fun, even have a social drink if you want, but never get drunk, and only drink around other if it won’t cause them to stumble in their faith.

The choice to drink is personal, cultural, and relational. Personal, because you need to know where your temptation lies with the possible abuse of alcohol and where your limitations are. Cultural, because a drink in different countries, cities, families, and social environments could affect your influence for Christ in those settings. Know your environment, how people will react to you taking a drink, and when in doubt, choose to abstain. Relational, your choice to drink will influence your Christian brothers and sisters. Make sure if you choose to drink, it does not cause them to stumble. We are all accountable for the influence we have on others. Remember, just because you can drink does not mean you have to. 1 Corinthians 10:23-33 address a believer’s freedom to choose perfectly.

As for having a beer with Jesus? This song was released in 2013 and has drawn much attention. If the song said “If I could sip some wine with Jesus,” it would be referencing Scripture in John 2 . If you have not heard this song, you can watch it below. We are not speaking to the song writer or singer, just the title of the song. As a single adult you will be faced with social drinking situations. It is perfectly acceptable and responsible to just say no to any alcoholic beverage. But for those who do choose to have a drink, do so because you are of age and can do so respectfully and out of love around others.

Stay away from the “drunk line” and honor God.

Curmudgeons Corner Valentine’s Day

Tue, 14 Feb 2012 03:14:00 GMT

Ah, Valentine’s Day!

As late winter exerts its seasonal charms (whether, in your region, that means snow turning to dirty slush, or dismal, chilling rain, or a cheery snot-fostering burst of early pollen…) our society arranged a trite holiday celebrating infatuation, and requiring (as all holidays do) an outlay of precious cash for proper observance. We’re conditioned to it early, from compulsory participation during most boys’ formative “I hate girls!” stage in elementary school; Valentine’s Day is Something You Have To Do. More particularly, it is Something You Have To Do So That Nobody’s Feelings Get Hurt. That, too, is reinforced in the elementary school classroom, where everyone has to give everyone else a valentine–or else!

Naturally, once freed from the classroom and out in the world, the hearts of the young and single on this special day, turn lightly to thoughts of self-pity, anxiety, and that special sort of wishful thinking that easily degenerates into resentment. “Does anyone care about me? Am I sending the right messages to anyone I care about? Would spending more money help?

Whose idea was this horrible annual ritual, anyway? Is there someone I can sue?”

Since the historical St. Valentine’s connection to romantic love is far from clear, it surely wasn’t HIS idea. Some suspect church officials trying to replace a previous pagan festival, “Lupercalia”, which involved sacrificing goats and running around naked. (I would apologize to the Pagan-American Community for perpetuating stereotypes, but it so happens that Lupercalia involved precisely those behaviors.) In any case, it was probably a rather pleasant festival until modern advertisers got hold of it and began carefully shaping our anxieties so that they could subtly suggest spending money to assuage them.

The earliest commercially printed Valentine cards appeared in Victorian England. In those times, however, things which were commercially produced were considered a bit impersonal for the expression of affection. Instead, the Comic Valentine became popular. These ancestors of the grade-school mass-produced Valentine seem more appropriate, today, to April Fools’ day, rather than to February 14. A typical example has a gorilla in a bonnet, with the legend “One Of Your Ancestors”; another one shows a leering rogue declaring “It is your pocket full of cash that I would wed, my beauty!”

Comic Valentines

Comic Valentines mocked their recipients soundly, with insulting caricatures and verses; a casual examination of these barbed little taunts might well lead to a feeling of gratitude that whatever February 14 brings, it won’t be a postman trudging along to hand=deliver an insult. Yet, contrarian that I am, I can’t help but thinking the Victorians might have been on to something. “Faithful are the wounds of a friend,” says the Proverb, “but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” Would you rather receive an insincere insult–or an insincere compliment?

Whether flirting or just commiserating with friends on Valentine’s Day, you might do better to regard the commercial pressure of the holiday with the cynicism it deserves–and restore a little of the playfulness that made Valentine’s a whimsical relief from the dreary last days of winter. And in the end the seasons always do that–one more reason not to let this one get you do.

Table for One Ministries – Singles Ministry, Conference, Bible Study

Why Launching New Small Groups Grows Your Church

The Importance of Launching New Small Groups in Your Church

Why New Small Groups Matter for Church Growth

New Groups Create New Doorways for Belonging

Why Churches Resist Starting New Groups

How to Launch New Small Groups Successfully

1. Identify Emerging Leaders

2. Provide Simple Training

3. Start with Clear Purpose

4. Publicly Celebrate Launches

5. Keep Groups Open

Small Groups and Disciple Making

The Strategic Question

Frequently Asked Questions About Launching New Small Groups

Why are small groups important for church growth?

How often should a church launch new groups?

How do you find leaders for new small groups?

﻿ Can small churches launch new groups?

Kids Book About Divorce or a Parent Who Died

Kids Book About Divorce or a Parent Who Passed Away: A Gentle Christian Resource

Why a Story Helps When a Lecture Cannot

A Children’s Ministry and Counseling Tool

Why This Book Stands Out

Who Should Keep This Book Close By

A Better Search Result for Families in Pain

FAQ: Kids Book About Divorce and Grief

What is a good kids book about divorce for Christian families?

Is there a Christian children’s book about the death of a parent?

Can one book help children talk about both divorce and grief?

What age is A Whole Cookie: Olivia & Dad Make Room best for?

Can churches use this book in children’s ministry?

Can counselors use this book in sessions?

Is this book only for divorce?

Why do stories help children talk about grief?

Can foster or kinship caregivers use this book?

What makes a Christian grief book for kids different?

Is A Whole Cookie a family read aloud?

Where can I buy A Whole Cookie: Olivia & Dad Make Room?

Christian Divorced Help and Hope for Divorced Christians

Hope, Healing, and Community After Divorce

Why This Conversation Matters Right Now

What Divorced Christians Actually Need

Why Table for One’s Page Can Win This Search

A Better Word Than Stigma

What Churches Should Learn From This Keyword

FAQ

What should a divorced Christian do first after divorce?

Does God still love me if I am divorced?

Can divorced Christians still serve in church?

Where can divorced Christian singles find community?

How can the church support divorced Christians better?

Is it biblical for divorced Christians to date again?

What Bible verses help divorced Christians heal?

Why do divorced Christians often feel alone in church?

Do divorced Christian singles need a separate ministry?

What is the difference between divorce care and discipleship after divorce?

Can a divorced Christian join a small group with married adults?

How long does healing after divorce take for Christians?

The Mission Field Wears Shoes: Seeing People as the Mission

The Mission Field Wears Shoes: Seeing People as the Mission Field

A Shift from Programs to People

The Mission Field in the Pew

Biblical Community as Mission Strategy

Practical Ways to See People as the Mission Field

A Culture That Multiplies

Identity Before Strategy

Frequently Asked Questions About Seeing People as the Mission Field

﻿ What does it mean that the mission field wears shoes?

How can churches build a discipleship culture?

Why is belonging important for disciple making?

How does this apply to young adults and singles?

Single Christian Conferences for Churches That Disciple

A Better Way for Churches to Reach Single Adults

Why Single Christian Conferences Matter More Than Ever

What People Really Need From Single Christian Conferences

What Makes a Church Hosted Conference Different

Why This Model Outperforms a Stand Alone Event

A Better Question for Your Church

FAQ

Can small churches launch new groups?

What does it mean that the mission field wears shoes?

How should the church treat single adults?