Captain Awkward

Free

Welcome to the Awkward Club! 
You'll have access to my activity feed here on Patreon where we'll have discussions, I'll post updates and pictures (possibly of my cat), and we'll brainstorm ideas for the future of Captain Awkward!

Awkward Club

Buy me a cup of coffee! 
I'll share some of my other writings and projects with you, “behind-the-scenes” info of what I'm working on. All previous rewards!

Triple Whammy

I have my hands full with reader questions, but people often ask me to weigh in on advice questions other writers have answered. If you want to support the main site and occasionally nominate questions from around the web for group discussion, this is a good tier for you.

Alternate Takes

Live Chats Patrons at this level get first crack at submitting short questions for a monthly short Q&amp;A - currently on hiatus because :gestures at pandemic:

Ten Out of Ten

Occasional snail mail, behind-the-scenes consulting on future of CaptainAwkward.com, first look at book chapters. 

Advisory Committee

Super Patron 
I can't even imagine what sort of super-generous person you must be. Thank you! 
 
Originally, this tier offered a monthly Awkward Hangout/Chat, but we could never schedule a time that worked. So (as of January 2019) I'm gonna re-launch this as a monthly open thread to check in and discuss whatever you like. When I post that thread, I'll also invite patrons at this level to check in with me privately and see if I can help untangle any thorny situations. Also, if there's something in particular you would find especially rewarding or necessary, please tell me! And thank you. 
 
 
<img src="http://i1314.photobucket.com/albums/t573/patreoncreator/graphic-50_zpsehdva1pn.png">

Board of Directors

Would you like me to consider debating or discussing certain topics with you, but I've blocked you on all social media and banned you from the comments section of my website? Don't despair! For the right price, you can sound off about such topics as:
 
<ul>
<li>"Why are all these victims of famously abusive artists unfairly ruining my fun?"</li>
<li>"The #MeToo Movement: Has It Gone Too Far?"</li>
<li>"If people have to consider other people's safety and comfort in public spaces, how will anyone ever fall in love again?"</li>
<li>"Having one's behavior described as 'creepy' or 'racist' is the worst, most unfair thing that could possibly happen to a person. That's the real discrimination no one is talking about!" </li>
<li>"I need to scream at fat people to lose weight because I care about them so much!" </li>
<li>"I totally support women artists as long as they are Ayn Rand!" </li>
<li>Literally anything that happened in the 2016 presidential election cycle.</li>
</ul>
 
You can sound off here and...I will probably?... read whatever it is? That's it, that's what you get. There's no guaranteed reward (or response) for sponsorship at this tier, payments are nonrefundable, and I can delete your comments at any time without warning.
 
(If you're scrolled down this far because you're a nice generous person who wants to make a generous gift, get in touch, we'll make you a nice tier that isn't about Trolling Contingency Fees!)

Create a gift