You’re Not Doing Grief Wrong
Grief doesn’t follow stages or timelines.
It looks different for everyone—and it often changes over time.
Free • Private • Takes about 5 minutes
Why Grief Feels So Disorienting
Grief doesn’t just hurt — it disrupts your sense of reality.
The world you knew no longer exists in the same way, yet the rest of life keeps moving as if nothing happened. That mismatch alone can leave you feeling untethered, foggy, or “off” in ways that are hard to explain.
Many people expect grief to follow a predictable path. But instead, it comes in waves, contradictions, and sudden shifts — moments of clarity followed by confusion, calm followed by overwhelm.
When that happens, it’s easy to assume something is wrong with you.
There isn’t.
You’re not failing at grief — you’re adjusting to a world that no longer matches what your heart knows.
You’re Adjusting, Not Failing
What Grief Often Feels Like at First
You feel disoriented or emotionally foggy
Your reactions surprise you — even confuse you
You wonder why others seem to be “moving on”
You question whether you’re grieving the “right” way
You feel pressure to get back to normal, even though normal is gone
What Changes With Support and Understanding
You understand why your grief feels the way it does
You stop judging your reactions and start trusting them
You learn how to steady yourself when waves hit
You find language for what you’re experiencing
You begin living again — without leaving your loved one behind
A Simple Way to Understand Where You Are
Grief doesn’t follow stages or timelines, and it doesn’t show up the same way for everyone. What you’re feeling right now may not look like what you expected — or what others seem to experience.
This short assessment isn’t about fixing anything. It’s simply a way to make sense of how grief may be showing up for you in this moment— so you can stop wondering whether you’re doing it “right.”
Hi — I’m Brian. I’m glad you’re here.
I didn’t come to this work through theory or training alone. I came here through loss — the kind that changes everything and forces you to question who you are, what you believe, and how you go on.
What I offer isn’t a formula or a timeline for “getting over” grief. It’s a grounded, compassionate way to make sense of what you’re experiencing, honor the bond that remains, and slowly learn how to live again in a world that no longer looks the same.
You don’t have to figure this out all at once. You don’t have to do it alone.
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A Gentle Companion for the Early Days of Grief
Some people want a place to begin privately — without appointments, pressure, or having to explain themselves.
The GEMS of Healing guide is a simple, compassionate resource I created to help you care for your body, mind, and heart during grief, one small step at a time. You can move through it at your own pace, returning to what feels helpful and leaving the rest.
No timelines, no stages, no expectations
Practical, grounding practices you can use right away
Gentle reflections for difficult days
Tools for sleep, overwhelm, and emotional regulation
A Chance to Talk Things Through
You might find it helpful to talk with someone who understands grief — not to be fixed or coached, but to be heard and understood.
This complimentary 30-minute conversation is a chance for us to talk about what you’re experiencing, explore what kind of support might be helpful, and see whether working together feels like a good fit. Nothing more than that.
There’s no obligation, no pressure, and no expectation of ongoing work. It’s simply a place to pause and talk.
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What My Clients Say About Me
Brian Smith is a talented and compassionate person who went through one of the hardest things that can happen to a parent: losing a child. I met him during the darkest days of my soul after I lost my only child.
His knowledge of spirituality and science is impressive. I know that his devotion and compassion are going to help so many others find their true path.
Thank you, Brian, for the wonderful work that you do and for being such a bright light for so many of us.
Our time together was invaluable. Truly. You have an amazing ability to pinpoint life factors that affect grief management. This is a tricky, challenging subject full of tears.
Our sessions provided a great sense of awareness regarding what you can and cannot control as well as monitoring realistic expectations of those who surround me.
With your constant, compassionate support, I find myself climbing out of my mental black hole. It’s time to move forward and take life as it comes.
Thank you, Brian! You have reminded me of purpose and acceptance. You are one of my rocks of stability and one of life’s blessings.As you know, I came to you because I appreciated your experience and expertise regarding grief, planning, family issues, and spirituality.
I’ve learned a LOT about all those subjects- both from our conversations and from the resources and opportunities you suggested so I can learn on my own. I have clarified my plans for how I want my life to look now and in the future.
I am moving forward in learning some aspects of grief and healing that I was lacking in. Perhaps most importantly, you’ve helped me harness all I’ve learned in this journey to increase my self-confidence and move ahead.I chose to work with Brian because I’ve known him for over 10 years. That much time has given me the opportunity to see his integrity and heart. He’s an exceptional person in so many ways, and I’ve always felt lucky to have met him, even luckier to call him a friend. The chance to work directly with him was too incredible of an opportunity to pass up.
Do yourself a favor, don’t pass it up. Before I reached out to Brian, I was worried we wouldn’t vibe and that it might be awkward because of our friendship.
Brian is a great listener. He really made me feel heard and understood. His advice and perspective rang a bell of truth in my soul. Brian’s better than many therapists I’ve had. Brian helped me to feel a connection to humanity. I can call back on that when I’m feeling lonely. It’s easier to give myself permission to be loved, including to love myself. If you’re thinking about meeting up with him, do it. Don’t wait. He’s an amazing coach.When our teenage son Teo passed suddenly, we looked into traditional therapists to help with our shock and grief but realized quickly that Brian was a much better fit.
He brought a calming, supportive, non-judgmental, and strength-based approach to our coaching sessions. Instead of regarding our devastating grief as a problem to be fixed because he had gone through a similar experience with his daughter, he served as an inspiring role model and living proof that being fully in our grief (vs. suppressing it) could eventually take us to a place of post-traumatic growth.
Ongoing communication with our son has turned out to be an essential part of our healing, and we needed to speak with someone who understood rather than patronized. Brian is open-minded while being discerning, compassionate, and non-ideological. He has been an incredible support to us during the hardest times of our lives.
I would say that couples that may have different approaches to therapy, grief, and the idea that our loved ones are still alive probably couldn’t find a better guide through this impossible yet expansive journey. We both felt better every time we talked to Brian; I think you will too.I have been through a tremendously difficult time in my life following the losses of my father and my fiancé who passed away only 2 years apart. I was fortunate enough to have the support of Brian to help me through this challenging period.
From the very first meeting, I felt deeply understood due to the genuine warmth and empathy in our sessions.
Throughout our conversations, I felt completely at ease and secure in the knowledge that I was in a safe, non-judgmental space. Brian was open-minded, understanding, and always willing to listen to my thoughts and feelings. I will be forever grateful for the guidance and support that he provided.
I can honestly say that working with Brian helped me considerably in dealing with some intrusive thoughts and gave me the nudge I needed to start building a new life after loss. If you find yourself in a difficult time of bereavement, I would highly recommend booking a discovery session with Brian.
I love Brian’s calm manner and gentle approach.As someone who already has a background in mental health and loves self-help books and programs, I had no idea how much I would get out of the positive intelligence program. Learning about and becoming aware of how often my saboteurs interfere with my day-to-day thoughts and activities was very enlightening.
As someone pretty self-aware and committed to continual personal growth and improvement, I was surprised by how much my saboteurs were hijacking my thoughts. This program was enlightening, and I highly recommend it to anyone! It has helped me be more aware of and reframe my thoughts to be more compassionate with myself and others.I very much appreciated Saturday’s session. I like having conversations that include my partner Cecilie and touch on both the intensely emotional part of this process as well as the metaphysical and intellectual pieces that contribute to developing new understandings and perspectives on my child transitioning but being very present.
Afterward, I felt calmer and more hopeful. I like how I can make an appointment for a time that works for me, that I can talk about anything I need to and don’t have to script the conversation beforehand, and how you are a steady and very human presence.
Mostly I benefit from anything you say that helps me hope for my own future as I struggle to rebuild my life after the transition of my son since you’ve walked a similar path. Most days that’s what I need to know that someone else has done it in a positive way.Brian spoke to me about two months after my 15-year-old son had passed. He reassured me that our kids leave us signs and that they are always with us. He spoke about his beautiful daughter and her awesome spirit. He made me feel like grief was okay and that the process is something you must allow yourself to go through in order to grow. His energy for life and honoring grief is truly authentic.
If you are grieving and need to figure out how to grow from it, stay connected to your loved one, or just need a grief partner to listen to your thoughts, he is the guy!
Thanks, Brian, for everything!There are a lot of so-called “grief experts” out there whose attempts to teach and counsel fall short because they can only reference their own personal experiences. Brian has the unique ability to address grief from a more pluralistic perspective, drawing on his own loss experience but also creating a spacious place of listening and compassion for his clients. He doesn’t try to position himself as a guru. He is a wise teacher, but his humility makes all the difference.
Brian knows how to express complex ideas and unpack complicated emotions in a way that makes them understandable and easy to digest. He has a clear vision, spiritual depth, and a calming presence.
I’ve seen Brian captivate workshop audiences and guide classes into deep healing insights.I did not hesitate to work with Brian. After reading the book, I was very excited to speak to someone with a similar experience who could offer help.
I liked that you understood where I was and that I could possibly function again one day.
I have been able to work again, make decisions, and plan for the hard days. I figured out strategies for daily life. I learned to make decisions based on where I am at any given moment, not based on what makes sense to the old Kelly.
Brian was an absolute blessing to me. I hope that he helps many others.
If you don’t have any idea how to function after losing a child, talk to Brian.Brian gave an insightful and cohesive lecture on the process of grief and healing at one of my mediumship groups. He discussed the impact of loss and how people receive information during a reading. Touching on key topics, he helped my community of healers understand the different stages of grief and the importance of sensitivity. It was a unique experience that benefitted my class to better understand the perspective of the sitter.
About 4 years ago my son was murdered. As a cradle Catholic, I naturally leaned on my church family for support and understanding. While I did receive an abundance of love and support, the understanding was not there. The Catholic religion teaches that if we live by the doctrines of the church we will live for eternity in the light of God through the sacrifice of Jesus. I fully believed this but did not really grasp the reality of the words. I was told to just have faith and that heaven is a mystery not to be understood. These thoughts created fear and anxiety for me but I could not just accept it.
I knew my son was living because he kept revealing it to me in miraculous ways that began within days after he transitioned but I could not share this with my church family for fear of rejection and ridicule.
My son was also a cradle Catholic. He believed in Jesus but did not agree with all the doctrines of the church. He was a compassionate, kind and joyful human being and sometimes troubled. He wore a sleeve tattoo of the face of a suffering Jesus crowned with thorns and a caption that read “God save me”.
Brian’s work through Grief 2 Growth has given me that understanding. His wealth of knowledge about religion, spirituality and the afterlife has helped me to integrate my faith with my spirituality. I am now learning and growing outside the guilt and restrictions of religion and even though I will always grieve the loss of my son’s physical presence, I feel joy because I now understand that he lives on. All is well with my soul.
Peace & Blessings,
When I think about what makes working with Brian so valuable, it comes down to his deep understanding of matters of the heart—grief, family, and the complex ways they intertwine. His energy is a perfect match for my life, not just because of his experience but because of how he manages his thoughts and aligns them with the possible outcomes. That mindset alone creates a space where real change feels possible.
One of the biggest benefits I’ve found in working with Brian is realizing that my struggles aren’t mine alone. Grief can feel isolating, but understanding that others have walked this path too makes a world of difference. At the same time, I know that shifting my behavior and responses is something only I can do—Brian doesn’t try to “fix” anything for me. Instead, he guides me to see what’s within my power to change.
What stands out most about our conversations is the balance. It’s not just about being heard; it’s about being understood. I spoke, I listened. He heard, he responded. That kind of exchange is rare—it’s uplifting. And honestly, I wouldn’t change anything about the way he works.
If someone is searching for guidance in their grief, if they need help navigating loss, I would tell them: Brian is a safe place. He’s been there. He understands. And sometimes, just knowing someone like him is there—that’s all we really need.Working with Brian has been one of the most supportive experiences of my grief journey. The notes he sends after each session are something I’ve never seen anyone else do, and they’ve been incredibly helpful. On the days when I feel like I’m not making much progress, those notes remind me that I actually am.
This grief road is brutal—especially around holidays and anniversaries—and Brian has helped me navigate some of the hardest moments of my life. He’s given me a space to talk openly about my pain and the love I still have for my wife, Theresa. I truly believe she’s with me in spirit, and Brian has helped me strengthen that connection.
When I’m struggling, my daughter will ask, ‘When are you meeting with Brian?’ That says everything about the impact he’s had.
Talking with Brian has helped me get through mornings that felt unbearable. He listens, he understands, and he guides without judgment. Even though I still wake up with a heavy heart and waves of sorrow, I know I’m not walking this alone.
I appreciate Brian more than I can say. He’s helped me move in the right direction, even when I couldn’t see it myself. I’ll continue booking sessions because his support has truly been a lifeline for me during the most difficult year of my life.
— Pat
one of my long time clients says:
Get Yourself A Grief Guide Like Brian
Brian Smith is one of the resources I have used to move from “Grief 2 Growth.” Grief 2 Growth is the title of Brian’s book, podcast, Facebook page, and website. When I made an appointment with him in November 2019. The first thing he asked was, “What do you hope to accomplish?”, and I told him I wanted to become a professional medium in January of 2021. The look he gave me indicated that that was a strange request. Yeah, it was but I was involved in some commitments and just seriously beginning to get into mediumship training. I found him because of a parents’ group he was involved in. At the time, he was hosting regular gallery demonstrations and interviews. I knew he had been studying the afterlife for about 25 years. I knew he knew a lot about a ton of different mediums, that he was running a business, and that he could help me get from point A to point B.
“There are no failures. Everything is practice” was something Brian told me often, especially when I wanted to see things as success or failure. I found out Brian was much more than a life coach for me. He helped me maneuver my grief.
Usually, once a month, I’d spend some time reflecting on questions like, What was I learning? What was getting in the way? What was working for me? I’d take some notes and show up to my monthly appointment with those notes. If there was an author I’d discovered (often one Brian had suggested) that I loved, he’d suggest other resources to take me further down that path. If I wanted to change direction or change teachers or divorce, there was an opportunity for me to think things through and say them aloud. I trusted Brian because of his compassion and empathy, and the breadth of the knowledge that he had in facets of my grief journey. When I wrote Letters to David, he was the beta reader and made some suggestions that really made the most of the book.
So yes, maybe meditation is my #1 resource. But having a grief guide that I trust to check in with who can help me question my own thinking and throw away all the “I can’t do that”s I was carrying when David passed has been #2.
My suggestion to you? Find someone who has what you want, who has maneuvered big grief, who is open to you finding your own path, and helps YOU BE YOU. You’re the best you there is. Don’t be anyone else. Nope, it doesn’t have to be Brian. He’s who worked for me. Maybe I should mention he offers a free half hour consult to see if you’re a good fit. Make sure you have a good fit before you dive in.If you want to check
Claudia Milligan
Professional Medium & Author
Organizations I’m Proud To Work With
Keynote Speaker
