I’m hungry and sitting in a pizzeria in Konstanz, which is in Germany and not in Switzerland although it is rather close. The hotel is expensive for the tiny room that I have and the fact that my bike is in the “innerhof” (backyard) with nothing but my flimsy lock and an unlocked door to protect it from anybody that felt like taking it. The hotelier sounded snooty when I looked up and saw a stinky sweaty cyclist standing on the second floor reception “Gutentag. Kann ich ihnen helfen?” it’s standard “respectful” German but carrying the sense of “what the fuck are you doing in my hotel?”. This pizzeria is good.

I am now sitting in a very minimal but cosy wooden cabin that I’ve paid for at Naturcamp Schluchsee. It cost €35 for the night and has electricity and insulation benches and smells of wood and that’s it. I’ve just made a coffee and eaten the inadequately sized sandwich that I purcahsed at Lidl in Nancy two days ago. There’s a supermarket 5k away but I’m going to make do with the limited supplies that I have and the beer that the campsite host gifted to me “they left it in the fridge, you can have it”. It’s raining now and I’m at an alitutde of around 1000m in the Black Foreset (Schwarzwald).

Sitting in a Buffalo Grill. Ordered a vegetarian Ranch Burger and a large Grimburgen beer. I decided to book a Budget Ibis Hotel at around €50 but the hotel is about 1k from the center of town and I probably should have done a camping day - although it’s threatening to rain so perhaps I made the right decision. Today was 20% off road with that 20% being employed in traversing the Vosges Massif, or part of the Vosges Massif. But in anycase I’m out of the mountains now.

Now sitting on an exposed table of a pizzeria on a street in Nancy. Kids are rolling in the street and there is a spattering of other customers but it’s not busy. I’m waiting to order. I think I’m hungry, I’m certainly thirsty as I just about ran out of the water that I was rationing today not having found a convenient place to top the bottles up and the day was longer than I thought it would be. I would have trouble speaking to the waitress.

Sun blasted, lips cracking, tired, but otherwise feel good sitting at a makeshift desk in a large, modern, youth hostel with a chair propping up the charger which is connected to an EU power adapter which is prone to fall out of the socket (and, on occasion, electrocute people¹) that’s propped up by a chair and the USB cable is too short so that’s going via. my portable charger. I need another USB-C cable. I bought two with me and I’ve discovered that the prettier one (it’s textured and posh) has stopped working which limits my charging options.

Today has been a a great ride with plenty of challenging off road sections. I’ve just been served a large pizza vegetarian 5 minutes after ordering it and I’m camping in the town of Troisvierges in Luxembourg. Now sitting in a Brasserie where people don’t seem to understand English but French seems very popular but the signs are in German. I have not done any research.. A group of French youths just left leaving me on my own in the garden terrace, which I’m quite happy about.

Achen is a vibrant city. I didn’t expect that. Unfortunately I’m now in a hotel 1.5k from the vibrant center and the pizzas located therein. The nearest pizza is a 20 minute walk over a hill. I’d leave now but the laptop is dead and needs charging.

I had a restless night in the tent and it became cold in the early hours necessitating me climbing into my trousers, socks and putting my top on. I woke at 3am, 6am, 7am (shall I get out of bed now) and at 8:30am I really needed to use the facilities.

Now sitting in my tent on a pleasantly vacant campsite typing this blog post with 57% battery knowing that I won’t be able to charge it today. I’ve been to the supermarket and have a Duvel beer (€1.60 vs. what would be around €3 in the UK) and some baked beans and some cheese and a half a baguette. It would have been an entire baguette bit I strapped it onyo my bag and half it seems to be missing. I’ll be heating the beans this evening and dining like a king on the road. I need to eat.

I’m at Bram’s house sitting on a bed feeling the familiar exhaustion of a long day in the saddle. At some point within the next hour we’ll go in to Ghent city and find pizza and I’m going to find some Belgium Beer.

Today started off in the Campernile hotel after a undisturbed by adolescents but it wasn;t a good sleep. I paid €11 for breakfast and made the most of the buffet. The weather looked good and I packed up my few things and left.

Went to bed late and slept badly in my own bed waking up without any particular excitement and not really wanting to get out of bed. It was 7:30am and I knew that if I were to leave today I would need to get the train in the next hours and I still had to pack everything.

Yesterday I did make a list of everything and where it should be located on the bike and so after a too-leisurely breakfast, reading about the the saddening story of another failed assination attempt on a certain world leader, I realised I had one hour before the train was to leave and so there followed a period of intense activity while I searched for and packed everything on my list onto my bike before cleaning the kitchen, taking my waste out and turning off the water.

It feels like this year has passed rapidly and without incident. Writing these end-of-year posts helps me remember what has happened. The vast majority of my days were filled with client work, my weekends often with other programming related projects, and my evenings often spent running or cycling before sitting in the slob position and drinking beer, eating pizza and watching Netflix.

This article describes roughly how I configured a Mini PC as a NixOS homeserver hosting Pihole, Syncthing, Jellyfin, Home Assistant and Music Assistant. It is not a tutorial but may provide some useful snippets.

This morning I woke early and said hello to my cousin with whom I was staying. I had decided both to do the 5k Parkrun in Lee-on-Solent and to cycle back to Weymouth. The apparent 80 mile distance would be a relatively “small” day compared with previous rides and the weather looked good enough.

I ran the Parkrun in my barefoot shoes, significantly slower than if I had my usual trainers, but I managed to speed up progressively as I became more confident with the running style - normally I strike the ground with my heel, but with barefoot shoes you tend to get better results by landing flat on your foot and pushing your self forwards. At the end my calf muscles were very tender and I was unable run all the way back to the house.

Broken sleep in the dormitory due to snoring and ingress and egress of the room no matter how considerately done. It’s dark in the morning now, the sun doesn’t come out until almost 8am. I wasn’t cycling today, that much was clear and I felt a bit lost. Breakfast was included in the hostel price.

The room had a sink. There were toilets in the hall. The toilets did not have sinks. This is bizzare. As if I were to perform my duties or brush my teeth I would have to use the sink in the dormitory. I had to use another facility on another floor after using the toilet rather than walk into the dorm and disturb everyone.

I’m in Rouen. I’ve been walking about trying to find a pizzeria for about an hour. My first attempt was an abject failure. I was directed to a table adjoined to the table of the only other customer in the shop. It was a small pizzeria and I felt self-concious and I had no personal space and I’d be intimately concient of my dining partners movements and noises and I hardly wanted to whip out my laptop out and start writing. When the proprietress came to take my order I bottled it and said I had to leave “desole, je dois partir”

I was greeted enthusiastically by the AirBnB host, the automatic gate at the back and I wheeled my bike inside and parked it on the terrace. The shower was occupied I waited, I showered. Upon getting changed I suddenly felt ill. I lay down and woke up an hour later having dreamt strange dreams and being monetarily confused. I had stomach issues and I didn’t feel hungry but I decided it would be better to eat.

I’m not in Reims. Reims is pronounced “rance” with a french “urghhh”, so “rurghance”. There is no “m”. It’s not “reems” or “rhymes”, it’s “rance”. I’m not in Reims because I booked an F1 hotel which is 5k from the center and in the commercial commune “Tinqueux”. It was my intention to stay in Reims. “To see the cathedral and eat a pizza” I thought. As it is I’m in Tinquex. At least I’m in a Pizzeria.

Now sitting outside at a Pizzeria in Verdun, it’s quiet and I hhave a strong IPA beer, the pizzeria doesn’t serve beer but I was adivsed to grab one from the bar next door, it’s slightly cold. I’m staying with at a bed-and-breakfast for about €40 which is pretty reasonable. Today was a long day and my back hurts slightly, the laptop has 13% charge due, I think, to it being on in my bag. But the laptop at least survived the trauma that was inflicted on it a few hours ago and it was perhaps that that “woke it up”.

Now in a hotel after having walked around in my barefoot shoes for a few hours in Saarbrüken (where luck can be found according to the advertisements on the way in). The hotels are quite cheap here and the town is nice. My ankle was giving me some grief probably due to barefoot shoes and the running a few days ago. But it’ll be fine.

I left Mannheim this morning after having attended the conference yesterday. The conference was a lot fun, it was in an “unkonf” format where there was no previous schedule and speakers were selected on the day and anybody could put themselves forward as a speaker. I put forward two topics, thinking that each would be a 15 minute presentation, a “lightening” talk - but I got a 45 minute slot and I paniced when I realised that my topic absolutely was not something to talk about for 45 minutes without any preparation. I came up with a strategy to expand it, but in the case I crashed through for 35 minutes in front of an intimate audience and there were lots of discussions and it wasn’t the disaster that I feared it would be, but I think next time I’d prepare something. I met new people and saw some familiar faces.

Disclaimer: There was no significant cycling today

Ear plugs in I woke multiple times in the A&O hostel deciding to stay in bed just a little longer and getting up at around 8am. I was interestred in Breakfast and ventured to the below-ground breakfast area and checked the price – 12€ per person – no! I thought, that is far too expensive, I’ll go and find a bakery. I walked out of the hotel, to the bakery, and got a coffee for €4.00 and a chocolate croissant for €3.50 - so cheaper yes, and all that I needed, also yes. So win? I wasn’t sure.

It’s now twenty minutes past ten and I have had a few drinks. In the bar you stand at a table and a waiter will appear within minutes and aggresively slam down a 25ml glass of beer for each person and will do this whenever there is a glass empty unless you explicitly opt-out by placing a beer mat on your glass.

I had a strange dream last night which culminated in missiles being launched from Nothe Fort (a victorian fort and tourist attraction in my town) before it was subsequently struck by a missile that resulted in the destruction of the fort, a big fireball and a shockwave which caused me to wake up. Vivid dreams often occur in different surroundings, but this dream stayed with me throughout the day (there were aligators in it too, which were destroyed with harpoons…).

I had a vegetarian Pita, it was served in a bowl and had pineapple cheese, and various other things, and it was surprisingly good. I didn’t write this post there. Now I’m back in the Yust hostel. Which is possibly the best hostel I’ve stayed in. It’s posh and there’s good ambient music playing in the reception area where I’m sitting now in a comfortable chair, books and plants line the bookshelves, and plants are everywhere (they’re plastic). I have bed two in an eight bed dormitory, and the beds look very well insulated from each other and each bed has a secure locker that can be opened with a card. My bike, more worryingly, is stored in the “bike storage”. Which is a huge, open, bike storage facility behind a locked gate - but I don’t consider as secure as other options (e.g. storing it in the luggage room). The hostel is actually about 5k from the center of Liege. The dorm bed cost about the same as my four-star camp pitch in France.

I’m now sitting in a rather empty Pizzeria in the center of Mons, Belgium. I’m feeling accutely self-concious as, even though I have frequently written these posts in pizzerias, it feels odd today. It’s been an interesting day.

I didn’t have all of my things stolen by gangsters last night which was nice, because it wasn’t entirely out of the question. When I turned up at the site and was scouting for my pitch there were a couple of French guys dressed in tracksuits in a little chalet with a little dog that didn’t have a passive disposition. As I walked around the campsite there were a few “shady” types, perhaps it was my prejudice but I got cold stares when greeting them with the customary “bonsoir”. Therefore when I returned from writing my blog post I returned to my tent in the trail of two youths that went ahead of me to the French guys. For the next hour there was arguing and profanity and shouting, One of the youths managed the feat of making the French “urgh” sound like a guttural roar in the back of his throat. I couldn’t tell what it was about, but assumed drugs. It reminded me of an episode of the Trailer Park Boys.

Currently sitting in under a shelter at a campsite with somebody speaking rapidly on the phone in an African language which isn’t helping me concentrate, and my headphones are in the tent. My fingers are cold but I’ve already put all my thermals on (not that it’s cold, it’s about 12 degrees but still). I tried to book ahead at one of the two campsites earlier in the day but had no success, but I rolled up to this one and they charged me €12 and it does at least have place where I can sit down and work although no power and I only have limited laptop power. I should hurry.

I’m now shoveling chocolate into my mouth while typing this and about to open a beer. I’ve already been to a Bistro for a couple of beers and a large “Pizza Anglaise” and today has been a good long day.

Unsurprisingly I didn’t sleep well at the campsite, firstly as I was dozing at 21:00 the entire tent was illuminated with a blinding light. I was startled and assumed the light was from some car headlights and paid no attention to it, until, 5 minutes later, it was still there. I poked my head under the tent flaps and saw that half the campsite had been lit up like a prison break.

It’s 7:30am and I’m sitting in the ferry lounge looking out of the window onto the port and the dawn drizzle. I was woken unhappily at 5:30am by my phone’s alarm. I stayed the night with a relative and would need to cycle several miles including a ferry crossing to get to the international ferry port.

Having consumed crumpets and coffee I wheeled my bike out of the house, realised it was raining, put on my rain jacket, stopped. Checked my passport and money were on my person, carried on, rolled up my sleeves, started cycling, my watch fell off my wrist onto the road with a clack, I rolled backt to retrieve it. Realised I didn’t have my lights, stopped, attached them, carried on.

I didn’t make any cycling plans this year and the summer flashed past as have so many other things, including a conference I had intended to attend “all tickets sold out!”. I lamented that I had intended to buy a ticket but my procrastination had prevented me doing so but, as it happens, a final ticket was available and it remained only to decide how to get there.

The conference is in Mannhiem, which is in Germany:

This blog post is based on a talk I did entitled The One Hour Expression Language and aims to provide a review of both the concepts and the code in that talk¹.

This is the year that was last year of the year, the year of the year, the best and worst year that was in the last year that was after the year before that. This is my story.

Ownership Anxiety ¶

In January I purchased a bed. For the previous 6 months I had been sleeping on a mattress on the floor. This was my first real bed, a big bed. It was about this time that I also started to notice a powdery substance on the ceiling above my bed.

At the time of writing this article I created PHPBench over 9 years ago, for the first 5 years I didn’t use it.

Now I seem to be using PHPBench almost frequently for my client and it might even be suggested that I’m profficient at using the tool that I built (although it’s a stretch).

In this blog post I want to show how I use PHPBench (note that this is not an introduction, for that see the official documentation).

Now I’m in my expensive overnight cabin feeling slightly hungry and aware that soon I will have no more internet so writing this one up quickly.

For everybodies confort and to save you batteries can all car passengers ensure that they turn their alarms off and put their handbrakes on

My teenage dorimitory companions were not the antisocial punks that I had feared them to be, they were not even the partying ones, but they were German. They arrived very quietly and made every effort not to disturb me. Which was hard however as any movement on the bottom bunk caused the top bunk to shake and squeak, but I appreciate their efforts. Nonetheless I slept well enough.

I’m now in Bilbao in an expensive Pizzeria as all the other pizzerias either don’t exist or are too far away. The hostel is clean but it’s a souless affair and the rooms are 2 steel bunkbeds placed in a room and it’s 21 minutes walk from the pizzeria and the weather forcast says it should be raining and it isn’t.

When I woke this morning it was to somebody deciding to turn the light on at 7am. Why anybody could think that that’s an acceptable thing to do I don’t know. Dormitory etiquette fobids it, use the ambient light, use your phone, use your sense of touch, but don’t turn the light on. I didn’t particularly want to get out of bed.

The dorm room was air conditioned but my nose was looking out for the smell of my sandals. I had thought that they would be impervious to that sickly smell that comes to inhabit sandals that are sweated into every day of the week, but I was wrong and I will need to clean them at some point. Despite having a large traffic in pilgrims there are no facilities for drying clothes or airing hiking boots. Otherwise the hostel is good, clean and the beds are as good as the ones at the last hostel.

My eyes are heavy and although I’ve just sat down at 17:39 to write something in the hostel’s common room I’m considering retiring to bed for a power nap.

😴😴😴😴😴😴

18:30 - Power nap achieved. I’m now sitting in the hotel’s courtyard on a table having bought a beer. It’s a large hostel and I’m staying in a mixed dorm. I’ve counted 3 other cyclists including a couple on a tandem. I’m in Spain, in San Sebastian, having not found any accommodation in Hendaye, but it was a good choice as it brought my kilometers up to 100k. The weather is clouded over but it doesn’t look like it will rain, I’m now clean and am feeling a little bit sun-blasted. There are little birds jumping about on the floor.

Sitting in a pizzeria in Saint Jean Port de Pied. It’s been a slog of a day and there I’m sitting in a room with pilgrims. A Japanese man is talking about signs and an oddly dressed man next to him and a European girl whose accent I cannot place. It’s an historic town with lots of tourists and pilgrims. When I arrived at the camp site the kid said asked me to look at the tent in the corner. “that’s number 5 - you can share the pitch with the guy there and ask him for half, is that OK?” I agreed but found it a strange arrangement.

Now in a massive marquee tent sitting on a trestle table in a campsite. A storm is scheduled for this evening and the campsite owners suggested I setup in the marquee. The storm hasn’t happened yet however and it’s sunny. A family is playing Bolules next to the tent which is annoying me mildly. I’m cooking some pasta and was able to use the communal fridge to cool my beer and cheese.

I’m staying in one of what seems to be the few hostels in the Pyrenees, at least in Summer - it’s also one of the best I’ve stayed in. The dorm beds are perfection - absolutely solid and vibration proof and each has thick curtains to block out the light when somebody decides to turn it on at 4am. There is a large kitchen and a large common area which is wonderfully decorated and there are hundreds of books, a bar, table tennis, a guitar, bongos, a didgeridoo, very few guests and thunder.

DANGER: I forgot to start my GPS recording and only got the last 20k of today and tried to fix it manually but heh…

I’m now sitting in the hostel, there is French music playing in a large common room with books, plenty of sofas, table tennis and a bar. This is the low season because this is a ski-town. So it’s pretty quiet, but the atmosphere is nice. A rumble of thunder can be heard outside and the patter of rain which I was fortunate to (mostly) avoid today. But I shuoldn’t have been so lucky according to the weather forecast. Today I did 3 cols including the Col de Tourmalet - one of the most famous and one of the highest road passes in the Pyrenees which seems to be frequently used in the Tour de France.

I’m now sitting in a hotel room having covered 68k today, those 68k included three “minor” cols and blasting midday heat, but I decided to finish early and have some down time.

I lay down in my tent last night and listened to my audio book for some minutes, a shrieking noise would start and it sounded electronic and it sounded close. I checked my phone but nothing I then banged the side of the tent and it stopped. It was probably a cicada or similar in between the tent sheets, I banged the tent side to silence it while listening to my book until it shrieked no more. I then slept soundly throughout the night.

Another beating hot day and another evening sitting down writing a blog post in a campsite. No two campsites are the same this is one of the ones with a “common room” with a fridge, microwave and seats. My bum still hurts and my skin is raw and some of it burnt and I’m pretty tired.

I didn’t sleep well last night. I didn’t sleep well because there was an insect, a microscopic fly, which in defiance of its size succeeded in its goal of keeping my awake. It’s flight path seemed to pass my ear every 30 minutes or so. I’d nod off, and then the slowly amplifying high pitched BZZZZZ and then it was gone. I was unsure of how to deal with it. Normally I’d put my ear plugs in, I didn’t have my ear plugs so I decided to hunt it down and on at least two occasions during the night I was engaged in this murderous quest. The lighting in the room was poor however and all I could find was a moth which was harmless and noiseless so I let it live. I put toilet paper in my ears (no it doesn’t work) and clamped my head between the cushion and the mattress (uncomfortable) finally I had the bright idea of making a head-tent with the thick french blanket, which was just stiff enough to provide both a barrier to the mischievous fly-bys and to muffle the sound. This was how I slept. This would not have been a problem in my tiny tent and getting a hotel is never a guarantee of a good nights sleep.

Now sitting in a basic hotel room. The window is open and is looking out onto tall trees and beyond them a precipitous hillside. I have “Haricots coco cuisines aux tomates” a can of “petite pois” and carrots, the rest of my bread and a pack of Laughing Cow cheese (the type that goes into childrens lunch boxes and tends not to go completely funny in the sun). I also have two cans of Leffe beer which are stronger than I thought they would be when I bought them. The reason I have this tinned food and beer is because the nearest restaurant is 2k away in Aix-Les-Thermes and I’m too knackered to move again and it’s been an incredible day. The wolves are calling.