UnboundDesire

"The man who acquires the ability to take full possession of his own mind may take possession of anything else to which he is justly entitled."

Last fall, I had someone ask me what my thoughts were on "24/7".  My reply at the time was a bit lacking.  Although the term was hardly new to me it was one which I'd never given much serious thought.  At the time, I knew what she was really asking, but looking back, the question itself still feels a little too open-ended.  It came up again recently and thus prompted a revisit.

The term itself is a curious thing:  Two cardinal numbers joined by a typographical mark forming an abbreviation which can masquerade as either an adjective, adverb or noun.  Something of such versatility and compactness must surely be a great bargain.  Yet, when it comes to BDSM, it's these very reasons for which it is of dubious value.  It suggests a lot but actually says very little -- an abbreviation to a fault.  Of course in most contexts it's meaning is clear; however, in the language of BDSM, "24/7" becomes problematic.

I'll readily admit that the idea arouses me, but why?  What is really being said?  24/7 what?  Maybe this fluid quality is what makes the term so easy to bandy around.  It hints at some sort of intense dynamic but leaves the definition wide open.  Nothing is ever quite nailed down aside from the fact that this intensity is "always on."  We're still left with plenty of freedom to work out the little details as necessary and in whichever way pleases us most.  In fact, this is hardly freedom at all, and we've really just reversed our approach to the same problem.  Where we were once trying to make BDSM work within the framework of a relationship, we're suddenly trying to make a relationship work within the framework of BDSM.  Ever get the feeling you're right back where you started?

Now many couples would tell you that for them, "24/7" is a very real lifestyle choice and this is a point to which I cannot argue, but I'm sure that this "24/7" lifestyle has as many definitions and interpretations as it does people living it. My sense is that in the the vast majority of these cases this is really just code for a committed (aka 24/7) relationship.

Of course, I've made no attempt to look at these interpretations.  I'm simply looking at a word, but words are important.  They allow us to convey what it is we are thinking and feeling.  In BDSM, being able to express our ideas and find mutual understanding is paramount.

When I feel a heightened arousal around this word, what I'm really feeling is the excitement of a relationship where a thread of intensity runs throughout.  It doesn't mean the structure of such a relationship should be dogmatic, but given that it's a part of who I am, it seems only fitting that it should be strongly reflected in the relationship I share.  Let those parts of me unfold, and develop and savour the results.  This is part of the thrill, after all.