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	Up date: not looking for anything, am here to keep contact with those I know, parties, events & perv pictures. Oops mean admire the beauty of the art from the photographer & models!!! I am not shutting down to the possibility that the right place for me is out there. Just not the knees bees, if it happens by all means am open to it. Not deleting other stuff because I do stand by that, travel well people. I am not looking to cyber with people! I am not or will I every be a "Barbie Doll" so if your seeking a little doll keep on traveling pass. Not looking for married men or people that think kinky sex, fluffy handcuffs & $20 flogger from sex shop is BDSM. I have children and grandchildren, Their needs take precedence over mine and others. If you don't like or understand that keep on searching.

The body hurts, yet sleep will not come, the body hurts to much for sleep. All is quiet for hours, the baby is sleeping. The mind travels to a different time & place.

Words said in the last moments of sadness, which will inpact on girls raut emotions. To be taken back to that ugly place with a few simple words. The world before girl ever heard the letters bdsm, back when girl was into kinky sex.

Baby moves, time to start the day, the night hasn't even ended. Time to face reality again!

The below was sent to me in conversation I had, she is wise & may not be there all the time. When she is there & pops up it makes an inpact!!!

I love to watch Snoopy play.. it gives me a perspective I don't get when we're playing. The problems arise when an intimacy develops between them that I can't share. As much as the partners we've had have said that they're having a relationship with both of us, it's not really that way when you look beneath the surface. How could it be? Not being bisexual, I don't share that aspect of a relationship with the other person, and no amount of wishing or wanting is going to change that part of me.

Will leave this for now

Thank You Both

Twisted : Depends Whom ya ask

Bitter: No

Hurt: Heals

Pain: Mends, Heals, Releases, Peace...


I believe that things, people pass in & out of our lives for reason.Things neither an accident nor a mistake, girl was where she needed to be, with the necessary people.Girl will embrace her history,with its pain, its imperfections & its mistakes.It is uniquely her's, it was intended just for her.To learn & continue her journey.

The mind in its natural relaxed state of submission feels no pain, it is in total bliss. For in that state of mind there is no pain, only release & the pleasure that rakes though the body.Nothing needs to be done to find inner peace, but put your mind in an others. With that, comes a connection to be able to place your mind in an others.

Some times that placement is for an hour, day or you can place it there in thoughts of a beautiful friendship presenting itself for your journey of life.The mind is at easy in these times, needing nothing but what is been given.Sometimes those seeing this state of minds see different things.No matter what you see in that state, it is raw & real.Nothing can be hidden or eliminated.

To eliminate part of that will take time,to surrender not so simple.The part that offends others to see,is girls heart the reflection of her soul.The caring that she shows to all, is a reflection of her soul.The soul is the core, the core is very rarely seen.

To allow the friendship to continue will take time, for what is seen in that state of mind needs to heal.

I may be hurt, tho hurt will pass. With that pass, will be a new journey to start.

I am not bitter, for the journey has taught me so much. The experience is up there with the chosen few, that will forever impact on my journey. Am forever great full for They have taught me so much & given even more.

Now have far more understand of Power Exchange & the places it can go. The places that can be traveled with in that total surrender of Power & Submission. To give it all over, for now I will wait for the sun to burn my ...........

Laugh am not going to tell you what!

~WEG~

Am in place of misery, how can one go from such a high & happiness to deep dark low. No am not on play drop, drop yes, play no. To allow that connection to grow, to hold nothing back. To have it all taken & for reasons am not sure off.

The pain rips though my body, the pain only adds to the emotions that are been felt. When ones body is not well, the pain intensifies all the other emotions.

When both where placed together, play went to a hole new place. To place that in an others hands was not done lightly, sobssssss.

When has the connection with play, become a problem to other in the dynamics! Has it always been there, others seen it. Looking in they say yes, me was to blind to see.Why do the green eyed monster have to destroy all. I am hurt, angry, sad, very confused & wonders if I had done things different would I be here now.

Girl thinks in corner, what did she do so wrong!!!!

The weekend was more than could be asked for :) I said please break me, need to hurt, has been so long since my boundaries have been really pushed. This play was above the first needle play, cane, electricity, single tail, yeah you get the idea!

Put a hole lot of trust, knife, electricity, canes, floggers & his knowledge of girls body. Those he let in to bring this girl to the floor :P Puddles, to surrender all and feel my self sliding down his body. Brain is saying can't breath, mouth want work, tell arm to slap leg with hand, nope no work either.

The total surrender was so intense, so light, yet so heavy :P to wake on the floor in his arms. Alright lets get up, back to it :))

Psttt don't forget the bike ride.

The weekend just went from one journey to another, the places you take me & the journeys we share will forever inpact on me.

Thank You Both...

The dom's talk about fake subs & slave. What about the dom's that waste our time!!!

Some will not stay away, even tho they no that it is the wrong thing. Even when they no that they need to drop old concepts, that are no longer working for them. If only they would stay true to what they see, the situation is not going to change. The growing and change has been exciting. That yes I understand, tho is it really worth all the other stuff!

There is an endless journey out there, this has been one part of the journey that has now been completed. The growth that has come from this part of the journey, is time to take on the next journey.

Look deep inside oneself and you will see that it is all true, the wisdom you have will see you though. Yes the next part of your journey maybe scary, tho the journey has to continue. Inwardly we all have the strength to make the journey and see it though.

~*~

tis the season....

As the holidays grow near, we often start planning our Christmas shopping list ..

This year I am asking E/everyone to add one item to their shopping list: a gift to the local shelter .. angel foundation or similar type group in your area..

Doesn't have to be expensive, it's the thought that counts... but what you will receive will be a hundred times more than you can imagine..

The smile on a child face..

The tear in a parent's eye that their child will receive a present under the tree..

suggested gifts:

my fav of course..Books
cds
mittens
hats
coats
shoes
a game
a toy

The possibilities are endless

And I am also asking each person who reads this blog to link it to one of their own and pass it on or just write up your own post

Ask ones who read your blog to pass it on

Let the holidays be merry for everyone

sincerely

elf

~*~

Found this on nother site, really liked it! So have copied & pasted it here all so. Only takes something small, don't need to be hundreds of dollars. The joy on a child's face makes it all worth it, hopes ya get of your arse & do it!!!

Had lovely chat last night and jumped straight into meet today. Must say had lovely time and enjoyed the conversation.

http://www.collarspace.com/htmlarea/smileys/0009.gif" align=absMiddle border=0> Hopes to do it again, will see how it goes. Ball as them say is in his court now.

Then on way home me bumped into old friend from years gone by. He got back to town three days ago, has bought house here. Seen this man checking me out, didn't think nothing of it. Then him following me up road coughing, didn't turn just kept walking. Stops at light and him comes up, your name isn't ........? Yep of cause it is ......, what ya doing back here

http://www.collarspace.com/htmlarea/smileys/0028.gif" align=absMiddle border=0>

Have had enough of so called subs saying there subs, then she turns around and trys to top me. They may pretend to be sub in public, tho god help her husband in private.

Playing the poor pitiful me, what ya put out will come back to bite ones arse. That is called 'Karma' and all are open to 'Karma'

Then them come into public chat shooting there mouth of how I can ignore them, when I wasn't even speaking to said person. Then shoots mouth of saying my master say not to contact him either, like shit I really want to contact your masta. They run off and meet dom for first time and come back collared, woohoo for you. Like the last long distance collar thing worked so well!

The extreme this one goes to for a collar, this person is extremely self absorbed and totally focused on their own needs. All the wrongs the world and the people in it have done to her. It doesn't matter what people say to her, people she reckons she has respect for.

OK that is my bitch and it may be petty, tho me feel better.

Guess whom is off to Perth :) Look forward to meeting some people real time and catching up with friend over there. Look out here me cum!!!

To start with everything was going against me, myself, taxi, public transport, relo's and only 15minutes to airport. Finely got on the plane woohoo it was going to happen. The excitement was there to be seen.

http://www.collarspace.com/htmlarea/smileys/0003.gif" align=absMiddle border=0>

Gets there to find nasty little Melbourne taxi driver, that no even speak da good english. Runs me round site seeing and wants me to pay. Up your

here is $60 be gone with you.

Hmm the Cyber Dom

has most defiantly showed me the pleasure in needles, took 59 for first play would have taken more of the first two rows *drools* Nasty had to go get the big bangers out, after she moans 'reeeeeeeeeeeeeeed'

Dom has also shown me lots of other things that maybe very nice, as i shiver at thought. Yes will be wanting to explore sharp cutting things As the hair stands up on my body, the evil chuckle. the goose lumps all over my body at the touch.
Then the heat on my back so many other things, needs to explore lots more now.

Confesional hmmm, met some people, seen some people, watched some people and me got to go home with one special bell Looks forward to next trip to Melbourne with more time up my sleeve, to see and do more.

Thank Y/you to A/all those that made it a weekend to remember, to others i hope that i get the chance to get to know more.

Hmm me is back, discovered the pleasure of needles! Has also decided to check more on edge play *drools* Met some more people, faces to names. Looks forward to next trip to Melbourne, big hugs to sexy sub and her new bed mwahhhhh.

Is so excited about trip, the little gal is scared. http://www.collarspace.com/htmlarea/smileys/0009.gif" align=absMiddle border=0> The slut can't wait, look out Melbourne here i cum!
http://www.collarspace.com/htmlarea/smileys/0003.gif" align=absMiddle border=0>

There sure is one happy girl cause You finely decided to watch the 'horses arse'. http://www.collarspace.com/htmlarea/smileys/0003.gif" align=absMiddle border=0> By the way been a cheeky person sometimes, me checked. Not going to say i was right, but 15-2-07... *WEG*

http://www.collarspace.com/htmlarea/smileys/0002.gif" align=absMiddle border=0> Yes Sir, thank You Sir wonders how many i will be counting.

Now next time it may have to be me looking at the 'arse' tho no horse.

Thank You Sir

ps...still owe me a cake!!!

Sometimes I wish that I didn't need to put on the big brave face, wonders if anyone can see the little girl that hides behind. At times I wonder if what image I put out there is me, even when I am honest.

Alone more then needed if casual play was part of me, would it satisfy what I crave anyway. It is at times a burden to stay, the load is heavy. To be able to put it all down, just to unload the burden for a while.

The self loathing, sometimes the image is not there!!!

The first thing that is desirable, or that which is most desirable in life, is wisdom. The next is power. Man's whole conduct in life depends upon what he holds in his thought.

A person (lacking mastery) holds a thought in mind, whether it is beneficial or not, without knowing the result which will come from it. There are many who keep in their mind a thought and suffer from it, yet not knowing what it is that makes them suffer so, nor understanding the reason of their suffering.

There is a time in life when toys are treasures, and there is a time when there put aside; there is a time in life when copper coins are everything, and there is another time when one can give away gold coins; there is a time in life when one values a cottage, and there is a time when one gives up a palace. Things have no value; their value is as one makes it; and at every step in one evolution one changes their value.

Had strange chat today, actually had few.
Tho one that has left me thinking is 'online relationships', are they real?

Why do some Dom's assume just because i have given them my addy to speak to me & get to know my mind that they deserve to be called Master & Sir! That is a title that is earned though respect, knowledge, an understanding of me & i of You. A few hours on MSN or yahoo doe's not give You respect. At all times i am respectful, ok when im not been a little cheeky. Tho that is in fun *winks* it is part of who i am.

The mind is the most powerful tool of the trade. It takes time to get to know the mind or a connection. Takes even longer to get the respect to tell all!!!

Control the mind & the body will follow.

Has been real lucky gal, has been blessed by the BDSM gods! Has found some great people, am lucky enough to have these people available for help & advise. My journey is going to get better, thank Y/you to those that are not so up themselves & can be approached for help.

Am so looking forward to the next month *big smiles*

To those that are so up themselves & tell me how dare i approach them with questions. May the gods zap You up Your up tight arse!

I may be new to this journey tho that doe's not mean I'm a fool. I have a strong mind, also on what I believe to be right & wrong, have a loud voice which I may not always shut because it is expected. Im a liitle cheeky tho I know when to show respect!!!

Had some great words sent to me today, tho am unable to reply cause profile no longer exists! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Seek with an authentic heart and you will find your One, nothing containing growth is static, you may have many Ones to be blessed... do not settle for less than who you are,.. find One who will match your spiritual depth, they do exist.

MANNERS ARE FREE, some people need to learn them or use them if they have them!

Just quickly wanted to say THANKYOU to those that have taken the time to answer my questions & help with guidance. Be well A/all & take care.

Spiritual progress is the changing of the point of view. There is only one way to recognize this progress, and that is to see the progress in one's own outlook on life, to ask oneself the question, 'How do I look at life?' This one can do by not judging others, but by being only concerned with one's own outlook. As long as a person is concerned with the faults of others, as long as he criticizes others, he is not yet ready to make his sight clear enough to see if his outlook on life is right.

http://www.collarspace.com/htmlarea/smileys/0003.gif" align=absMiddle border=0>

This was sent to me, so am going to share the words.

As the rose blooms amidst thorns, so great souls shine out through all opposition. When the door on happiness closes, another opens. But there are times we look so long at the closed door, we don't see the new door opening. Don't go for good looks, they can & will deceive. Don't go for wealth as it often fades. Go but instead for someone that makes you smile & feel protected. The reason is a smile can make the darkest day or night bright again. Find the one that makes your heart bright. Be what you want to be, because you only have one life. You live for others & before you know it time has passed you by.

If Y/your not in Australia, don't waste Y/your time. Im not planning on moving from this beautiful country or am I wanting to let Y/you into Australia.

For those that don't understand

"Barbie Doll"

it means I don't have the measurements
38cm Bust
28cm Waist
38cm Hips

*smirks*

Now Bow Bitch, Kneel Bitch, Ring Me, Im Master, don't work. Come on people this is 2006. Not back in the cave man times, when You Beat your fist on your chest.

Also Mistress im at Your feet waiting Your command, tell me what i can do for You, anything Your housework or gardens anything at all. Come on you can't be that desperate, I may chop you into little pieces & feed ya to my dog!

I don't even know you why should I respect you, this is something that has to be earned.

Relationships are something that has to be worked on, Im not seeking married people looking for a quick one night play.

I would prefer to have No play!

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