TwinDruid

Since my inception in to the scene, the pure mental apsect was what was instilled in me first, the sexuality part second. Control through mental conditioning and training can be even more so stimulating to the body then psyisical contact alone when done correctly. Sexual contact was always a reward, and not something asked for outright.

Here is where my "gripes" begin following my last statement. I have been all over the net on to many sites to keep track of. My most recent student has began following me around from site to site (sometimes she finds one i havnt yet) and i get to see the drivel that comes out of most "Dom/mes" that just does not belong.

The most recent message i had read off of one site that my student recieved had me so pissed off it wasn't funny. First off, a real Dom/me will not chase down a new pet/slave. Second, the content of the message had my jaw in my lap. The "Dom" in question deals only in extreme torture. Part of the message told my student that she had been "claimed" and she was now his, no if, ands, or buts. The final part which nearly had me unglued was that he refuses to use a safe word, and at the end of his torture sessions uses lemon juice and salt on any open wounds. Im sorry, but any of the above stuff has NOTHING to do with this lifestyle in any shape or form. granted thats only my opinion, but there is no enjoyment in that for anyone other then the one inflicting the pain.

When i was very new to this many many years ago, there was a hierarchy instilled in me that more or less no one follows anymore, and certain values that even less seem to follow. Here is what i was taught and some examples of the values i still hold dear to this day.

Hierarchy:

Mentor: A teacher to a Dom/me, sub, or both. has the final say in any of his/her students activities as a matter of learning experiences and safety for the student.

Master: Has control of one or more pets/slaves at anyone time.

Student: A D student will partisipate on occation in a learning aspect, where as a S/P student has a small bit of flexibilty in the learning curve then an actual S/P.

Pet: The definition of a pet is just that, a Pet. Someone to have good natured fun with as well as complete control over. A Pet relationship is normally a long term affair. A deeper understanding of the D and Pet relationship developes much faster then a D/S relationship does.

Slave: Someone to litterally push around at your own whim. Slaves get the most punishment and are the most demanded of in terms of the D/S relationship. Slaves tend to come and go quite frequently.

As far as Values go, the mental aspect is key. Without the mental aspect, there is little to no meaning to the sex aspect then just plain 'ole sex. ya so you get to bind someone (or be bound) and get played with, but i can go to any number of clubs and do that. takes all the fun out of grooming someone. Sexual contact in any shape of for is a reward, and a pleasent one for the Student/Pet/Slave. Be it a tease for a task well done, a lessoned learned to heart, or a sweet jesture made. Granted you can plan a day of just sex for your sub, but thats not it all should be.

Here is an example of what im refering to. A sub student a had a while back thought the whole lifestyle was soley about "rough sex" as he put it. I informed him that if that is what he is looking for, he is coming to the wrong person for instruction nevermind a Master. A couple weeks later he contacted me again and asked to know more about what i was talking about. I took him to the local mall and gave him a couple simple rules to follow. 1) Eyes down at all times, not unless he was given permission. 2) No speaking unless given permission. 3) Hands clasped behind his back the entire time we were there unless he was to carry something. The first 20 minutes or so the simple rules were hard for him to follow, which resulted in public spankings. After that he shaped up really quickly. The control over sensory deprivation lasted up untill we left the mall. When he was finally told he could relax and enjoy the walk back to the car the look in his eyes were priceless. his first comment was how blue the sky looked. Staring at a tan floor and not being able to look at anyone in a crowded mall and generally not being able to see where your being led to has a dramatic affect on someone. During our time in the mall small pleasures were given from time to time to let him know he wasn't forgotten about and that he was doing a good job.

later on down the road when sexual contact was finally introduced after months of small to moderate teasing only enhanced his experience. Also the mental control and conditioning during the months prior come in to complete the activities in a way that will astonish the sub when all is over for the day/night. We spent the whole next day talking about what went through his mind.

i think i kind of got off topic on what i was getting to, but to retrace my thinking a bit as values go, the sub is ultimately in control of everything, not the Dom/me. Yes the Dom has "control" over the sub, but when the sub gives the safe word, you stop, no ifs about it. Before a Dom/me takes possesion of a sub, they discuss both sides bounderies and what each is looking for from the other. The D/S relationship should always be a safe one no matter what. One or more safe words or body gestures (depending on whats going on) should be in affect 100% of the time. The Dom/me should never change the rules on the sub, if the sub wants to try something new, thats up to sub and them alone. A Dom/me should never pursue a sub... ever.