tvmary

Well have completed 1 week in my new chastity device, have never stayed as long in a chastity before. I have a CB-3000, but my gentinal would start burning less then a day while wearing it and another SS chastity device did not fit right and also hurt me and could not wear it for more then 2 days.

This one has been just fine wearing it, Ido feel the weight of it but it is not bad. Now it is just a denial with no teasing (no mistress to keep me aroused) can not touch my clitty at all :( some time have to move it around but that's ok. Wish I could touch my little clitty to tease it some :)

so now have completed 83 days of orgasm denial, plan to go until 90 days, then get my next orgasm,   :0.  :)

Finally back home, day 78 of tease and denial with no orgasm. Have got a couple new chastity devices and started using one of them now (3 days so far) http://www.dhgate.com/product/s-male-urethral-chastity-belt-cock-cage-with/137801047.html#myaccount_orderdetail-1-null

it does fit well, no problems with it. like the feeling of my clitty having a urethal tube as part of the chastity device.

The other one ( http://www.dhgate.com/product/2013-latest-design-male-chastity-art-device/170230598.html#myaccount_orderdetail-1-null ) has a long ~ 5" urethral tube attach to it, am looking forward to try this one very much, but will wait about a week or two using this one before trying this other one.  I do miss teasing (really touching   lol ) my clitty but i like the idea and feeling of this chastity device (wish i had a mistress to be my key holder  :)   )

Update, on day +65 of my orgasm denial, did have a wet dream and stained my panties :) still feel very horny and and blue balls still ache  lol/cry

this was my first wet dream since Oct, have not though teased myself pass the point of No-return and had a normal or ruined orgasm. will see how far I can contiune to go without a true orgasm, or have a Mistress who would lockup my clitty and take control of my orgasms.

update, added a couple more photo's of myself, hope you all enjoy

sissy mary

Happy new year to everyone who reads my journal and best wishes for the new year.

well it has been about 61 days since my last orgasm, on Halloween night :0 but still able to just tease and deny myself to cum. I have ordered a new chastity device with a long flexible cathader to keep my clitty (small) from esscaping. Should get it in a couple weeks.

i have talked to a number of very nice people here who I wish one would be my key holder. There bead a couple from Livermore who seemed to be but did not work out 

Have continued my tease and denial of my clitty since my last entry, but have not gone longer then about 30 days. 

Recently, my last orgasm was on Halloween, I cum, just one time, now am planning to go longer. I spoke Tia dominate couple a few days ago and from them realize I need to step up this and try and keep myself in a chastity device and keep my hands away from my clitty and really find out about denial  and lost of control. But I have a problem that my clitty can get very soft and small and can slip out of the chastity device. They recommended getting a PA (Prince Albert) piercing  :0

i am hoping I would not need this, so I am trying to use a penis plug with a hole (for peeing) lol and then slide on a CB6000 over it.

well I have gone and done this and will see how we'll this works, last night could not touch my clitty, just my balls ( a little fustrating) but it got worse over night when I had 3 night erections :0 and could not do anything. 

Wish I could be own and cuckold by a dominate woman :) 

i am planning to keep it on until Jan before I get my next orgasm and figure out where I go from there.

Well it has been awhile from my last entry, I teased and denied myself for awhile and when i did finally cum, it took me quite awhile to stop cumming every night and once again denying myself from release :0    

It has been another 30 days since my last orgasm and i am looking to cum again on Halloween night, that is unless i have someone order me not to have a orgasm and would take control of my little clitty and they decide when i may have my next orgasm :)

so it is up to some dominate woman i would love and ador to control this sissy

It has been a long time since my last update.  to bring it up today, i did go for 120 days without cummimg OMG, I did do multiple times of tease and denial, keeping my hard and not able to sleep very well or long :).  During this time, i seem to have lost contact with Madame Mickie, we just could not meet up, we live soo far apart and I was unable to get down to see her (this was my fault :(

After I finally cum, i could not stop myself from stopping to masterbate myself every night and it seem to go on this way for several weeks. I was then able to control myself to again go for short times of tease and denial, since I have no Mistress to control my behavior. I wiosh to find a Mistress to control me and be her chasitized and cuchold submissive sissy maid/slave.

Right now I have gone 42 days without cumming, i like it where I am left feeling so horny and with blue balls, but wish I were under someones control on my knees and pleaseing a mistress.

Completed 101 days without an Orgasm, but a couple days ago i did have my first wet dream, since being denied relief. i woke up feeling it cum from my clitty. i was dreaming i was with my mistress, and i was dress up only in a 14 garter girlter with black stocking and i was tied down kneeling on a bench, very tightly, with my ankles, hands and body held in place and me very exposed :).  My mistress used her strap-on in my pussy and she had her boy friend cock in my mouth fucking me. i cam when he cam and fill my mouth with his cum and i was trying to swallow it all and my mistress was fucking my pussy and cumming also.

OMG, it's been 1/4 of a year/90 Days/2,160 hrs/129,600 mins,   since my last Orgasm :0

I need to cum so badly, i hope i get permission to cum soon :)

Happy New Year!!   OMG is has been now 83 days (crying) since my last orgasm :(

I am so horny now, it is never off my mind now, i am always thinking of wanting to cum, to have an orgasm any which way, how ever a Mistress wants me to have one or to be milked and releif the ache in my blue balls. I can not get a good night sleep, i am waking up a couple times in the middle of the night, horny and wanting to be with someone to give me relief. i have never gone any where this long without an orgasm.

please, please is there a mistress who can help me have an orgasm and please them too :)

65 days without a orgasm :0

This weekend was at the mall window shopping/envy looking at all the beautiful women, how i wish i could be dressed and look like them. going into the women section in the clothing store wishing i could try on some of the clothing :) wishing i had the nerve to stop at the makeup counter and have a makeover done :)

Tonight i am wearing my 14 garter (black) girdle with black nylon stockings and black panties :0  oh it feels so good, i am starting to enjoy how the girdle feels on me and may have to purchase another one :)

Spoke with Madame Mickie this afternoon and found out she has a new sissy in training, her name is sissy jenny. i was told to contact her. I was lucky, jenny contacted me on collarme and from there we met on yahoo messenger and began talking :)

we had a nice conversation, but my connection went out so could not finish talking with her. She lives the farthest away from Madame, but i hope that we can get together and becum good sissy sisters.

Also spoke with daisy, we have a lot in common and i enjoy talking with her, i also like the photo's she sent me, love her blond hair, she looks so sexy :).

i would love to be in bondage with her, maybe in 69 position, with our mouths full of each others clitty and tied up so we could not release each others clitty and have to spend the night like that and out hands tied behind us :)   i could think of us having each others clitty grow in our mouths and having to suck each other and cum in there mouth and drink it all down :)    .....oh what a night :0

god i am soo horny right now

Just got a message from a sissy named daisy, she too is a sissy slave to Madame Mickie and we will be sissy sisters in the future :)

it will be nice to talk and find out how we are the same and different and to learn from. Hope to be good friends and sisters :)

58 days since my last orgasm :(, I am owned by my Mistress, Madame Mickie and she controls me :)

I love bondage and do self bondage. I have a four corner poster bed, but mostly i just use one side of the bed, since i need to get away to release myself. so what i do is, i have a set of ankle cuffs use rope to tie them together and then tie it to the bottom post. Next i use a neck tie to warping around my knee's to keep them together. Next i put on a ball gag in my mouth, a mask around my eyes and then i put on some ear buds in my ears (I play an erotic hypnotizing file from Mistress Samba) This secures me so I can not speak, see, or hear things around me, sometimes I use a stocking to pull over my head to keep all of this in place, so i can not take them off without using my hands. Lastly i have a set of velcro hand cuffs that i set so i can just able to pull my hands through them that i had tied to the top of the bed. I squeeze my hands thru them and lye there and try to sleep, while being kept excited by the erotic hypnizie tape that plays in a loop all night :) I am not able to touch my clitty and so i am kept aroused and so excited. i stay this way, sometimes, just a few hours or sometimes all night :) before i struggle to work my hands free of the cuffs.

i wish i had someone local i could be tied up by and or with, where i could not get loose until they allow me to be released. maybe they would tease my clitty, but deny me having any relief :0   ooooohhhhh this sounds so nice :)

it has been 56 days since my last orgasm :(

i am wearing my stainless steel chastity device, you can see it at (http://spicesforlove.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=90&products_id=191)

i tried to copy a photo of it here, but the journal did not go through :0  

    i like it most of the time, it is comfortable most of the time during the day, but have to watch it when i sit down, it can hurt a little. it is easy to keep it and myself clean, it is easy to pee while wearing, but at night when i get an erection, it can be painful, until it goes down :(.

i must confess, that i am a diabetic and when not aroused for a long time my clitty gets very small and can come out from any of the chastity devices i have tried.

I enjoy wearing nylon stocking very much, both the pantyhose and the stockings with garter belt. The pantyhose is nice because it fits tight, nicely around my balls and clitty, it feels like my mistress is holding and cupping my balls :) and my clitty can be held in place and feels very nice. It requires me to always sit whenever i need to use the restroom for any reason. The stockings with garters, feel even nicer and more sexy. when I am walking around while wearing them I can feel the top of the stocking being pull up, it is a nice sensation :).   Stockings and garters just look so much more sexier and show myself better.

My mistress has told me she only wants me to wear stocking with garter belt :),  and when i am with her not to wear panties, so she can get free access to my balls and clitty without any problems or obstructions :0

I have purchased a 14 garter, black girdle and have worn it the pass week, wow it really felt different to me, having the girdle fit tightly on me, not only around my waist, but on my bun and thighs :) i liked how it felt, it also kept my stocking up very well.  I am going to buy a couple more of these to go with my normal garter belts that i own.

Tonight i will be wearing my metal internal uretha chastity device, that i know will cause me some pain in the middle of the night when i get my erection :0  i will have the go through it and learn how to control the pain and my erection. 

spoke with Madame Mickie this morning, we talked about me going to her soon :)  I want to visit her soon and really start my training from her and to be collared, once she takes my virginity from me :0 

Mistress told me i can not cum until she takes me and fucks me with her strap-on, she told me that i can no longer cum normally (like a guy) and can not masturbate myself :(  that now i am her woman and can only cum like a woman, which means i can only cum if i am fucked in my pussy :0 

I have never done that before and do not know what it will be like to only cum that way. Is there anyone out there who has a simular experience with only cumming while being fucked in your pussy, who could tell me about it, thanks.

i am sooooo horny, i am almost willing to do anything to get some releif from my aching balls

Madame Mickie wants to dress me up as a sissy slut, then  use me with her strap-on and take my virginity from me :0  and know what it is like to be a woman. She also wants a man to follow after she take and breaks me in, to then use me at both ends and for me to suck on a real cock and taste and swallow cum for the first time :0  

I want to be Madame Mickie's sissy slave and do whatever she ask/demands of me to do and be her sissy slave 24/7 and only kept in woman clothing. Thinking these thoughts make me feel so horny and even thought i am not gay or bi i would do this for my Mistress.

It has been 52 days (Oct 10th) that I have had my last orgasm :(

I txt or talk with Madame Mickie nearly every day, she gets me so excited where my clitty is straining in its chastity device :0 and i so much want to be with her and get permission to get relief and have an orgasm :)

I have 3 different chastity devices, a CB3000 (short), a Birdlock (short) and another one made of metal, which has a tube going inside my clitty and keeps it facing down. This one causes me more pain, because when i start to get an erection it can not do so and the inside of my clitty will hust as it tries to come up :(   I change between these devices when i take them off to clean myself. I do go for some days not wearing any chastity device at all :)

Madame Mickie has spoken to me of taking me with her strap-on and using me for her pleasure, while i remain in chastity. Since then i have thought more about it and her taking me and i becoming her slut when she uses the strap-on has both thrilled me and frighten me at the same time. I am not Gay or Bi, but the idea of a woman fucking my pussy that way, turns me on.  Madame told me she would have a real man fuck me at both my pussy and my mouth and would have to swallow all his cum. I could not tell her anything at the time, i was scared. 

Later i told her, how i now think and dream of her fucking me with her strap-on, but what i could not say aloud to her, was that since first talking about it and continue to talk about me being fucked by a man both ends while my clitty is being milked by Madame, all at the same time, has got me so turned  on and horny thinking about it.  I AM NOT GAY or BI, and have never wanted anything to do with a male.........but this make me soooo horny, because Madame is controlling me and own me, totallly and I want to do everything to please her and what ever she want of me i will do.

About 2 months ago i met Hot Madame Mickie, here on collarme, we have talked many times since then, talking about my experiences, desires and how i may fit in to what she is looking for in a sissy/slave.

After the first couple times talking with her, she has taken over me and now owns me. She has told me that after i am collared by her, she will turn me into a full time 24/7 submissive sissy slave to her, that I will be wearing only women clothing and all my male clothing will be throw away  and i would begin female hormone treatment. I have not really thought of becoming a full time sissy female, but with talking with Madame Mickie i do want to be fully feminized by her and truely be forced to be the woman i have dreamed about being.

I have been in chastity for over a month now :( and hoping for permission to cum again.

Hello my name is Mary and this is the start of my journal. To introduce myself, let me say that i have been a shy submissive crossdresser for most of my life, but because being so shy i have never come out that i like to dress in women clothing. I enjoy how women under garments felt so silky especially enjoy there panties and nylon stocking/pantyhose. I would try to wear my mom's under clothes whenever i got to the chance to do so. At the time i thought i was the only person who had these feelings, so i began to fanistize that a woman was forcing me to dress up in girls clothing and so a part of that i also started to do self bondage, while in drag. I did this off and on throught out my life and with the internet learned more about this and others like myself and discovered Femdom. I have been looking for a woman who would take me and would not mind my dressing up in women clothing and would help teach me to be better at this. So i could wear them on occation.