Torvold

The 4 C's of owning a slave are: commitment, consistancy, communication, and compassion

Commitment: This is a total life endeavor. You are taking responsibility for the life and welfare of another living being. Yes, she is property, but she is valuable property who has given up every freedom to live her life in service to you. Your commitment to her can be no less. Her pledge is to surrender, obey, and serve. Your's is to teach and train her to do those things better. Yes, she will fail to meet your demands or expectations from time to time. You do not cast her away for these... you educate and train to make her your perfect possession.

Consistancy: Nothing is perfectly consistant, but a slave depends on knowing her boundaries. If you are inclined to interact casually with her and allow her the freedom to joke or tease with you, you can not react with an extreem positive reaction one day and an extreem negative the next. Yes, your mood will change, and if she treads on unpleasing ground today when it was amusing yesterday, warn her off with a look or light chastisment rather than harsh action. In the large things, do not allow her to slide... if she thinks she can get away with it, she will likely try, especially if she feels you are ambivelent about it. You must hold the line and make sure she walks the one you have laid out for her.... yesterday... today... and tommorrow.

Communication: You must clearly communicate your expectations of her, or she will fail to please you and not understand why. Further, when she is disciplined she will not learn anything because she does not know how she failed, only that she did. Likewise, you must be open to her communicating to you. She can know fear and confusion... this is magnified by her complete helplessness in her condition. You must hear and address her questions and concerns, letting her know you are aware, even if the answer to her pleas is no.

Compassion: Believe it or not, yes... this is a huge factor. When she fails to please, it is your right to punish her however you see fit... however the wise man takes pause and considers his actions first. Consider her experience with the task... was it new?Consider her effort... did she strive for all she is worth to do as you demanded? Consider her reaction to failing to please you... does she fear your righteous discipline? Finally, consider what action will bring the best results in her future efforts. Then make an educated decision on what combination of punishment and retraining is needed and to what degree. Showing a helpless slave mercy in moderation with discipline reminds her that if she should fail again she will not fair so well, and her devotion and effort shall grow, instead of perhaps crushing her spirit and sinking her into a quagmire of resignation.

The 4 F's of slavery: Focus, Flexibility, Fear, and Fulfillment

Focus:
Girls, this one is pretty self explanitory. You need to keep your attention squarely where it belongs... on your owner. Life often interupts the best laid plans of men, but you can reduce the internal distractions. When called to serve, focus on the task at hand. Do it efficiently and to the best of your ability. This goes from cleaning his toilet to serving his pleasure. Quiet your mind. You can not serve him best if you are focused on your own pain or pleasure. Accept... let go of your own desires and become a a receptical of his. You can not control him or what he will demand of you... all you can do is accept his decision and focus all your energies on bringing it to fruition.

Flexibility:
Girls, sometimes shit changes. You might be given a task and suddenly pulled off it for something else... sometimes the life situation changes and with it the dynamic between your owner and you. Be flexible. Flow with the changes like water around a changing river bed. All you can do is serve him as best you can. Avoid expectations, and rather focus on how you can be most useful in that moment. Be a constant source of pleasure, comfort, energy, and positive outlook for him. He is the center of your world. You serve him. Do not try to guide the path, but rather adapt to where ever he leads you.

Fear:
Girls, fear is a normal healthy part of your slavery. Not fear for your life or that other bullshit... but rather fear of displeasing him and his discipline that comes from it. Embrace that fear... use it to motivate you. When you are punished, accept it gracefully and thank him for his correction and fix it in your mind that you dont ever want to fuck up like that again.
Men, your girl should be afraid of disappointing. She should feel that tug of terror when you look at her and tell her you are disappointed. When she is deserving of punishment, make it such that she fears the repetition of the offense. All the time I read or hear girls saying 'Knowing I disappointed him is the worst punishment.' Bullshit men. She needs to know that there are consequences to her being displeasing, else she will get lazy and think you weak. If she can get away with being displeasing without consequence, you have lost the stick, and all you have left is the carrot to motivate her struggle to please... what if she isn't hungry?

Fulfillment:
Girls, this is about finding inner peace and happiness in your service. Slavery is not easy... you are not the part time pillow princesses who suck a little cock and get a little spanking and think they are slaves. You are chattle. Domestic animals who live and breath to serve the will of your owner and make his life easier, more profitable, and more comfortable. You will know pain, disappointment, and frustration, and not have an acceptable outlet for them very often. Focus not on your failures, but rather on the successes. That little smile of pleasure... the sage nod of acknowledgement... the feral grunt of satisfaction... the playful slap on the rear and hearty chuckle of amusement. These are your trophies... the things you hang on the wall of your heart to remind you all your pain, work, and devotion are worth it and that you are fulfilled by having brought him more joy than any other woman in the world possibly could.

Internal enslavement and arraigned marriage 

In the vanilla world, relationships are primarily based on personal, mutual compatibility and emotions. Boy meets girl... They like the same music or movies or food... he thinks she is pretty... she thinks he is handsome... they have some laughs, they date, compromises are reached, romance flourishes, they fall in love, and so on and so forth.

In the BDSM or D/s world the same pattern follows. Kinks are compared... attractions hereafter IE) and it is a process and a journey that she has to undertake on her own without being forced or cajoled into it. Of course she can seek guidance and knowledge from those she trusts, but in the end it has to be her personal choice to under go the process.

What is IE? IE is the process where a woman raised with all the freedoms this society offers makes the choice to give them all up and there by prepares herself to actually be owned. It is a very difficult and demanding mental journey to the very core of what she is and how she will live. Many begin the journey but discover they do not want to be enslaved and return to a milder form of D/s or vanilla life.

What changes in her during her IE journey? Each woman is different and so are the things that are hardest for her to give up or accept. The common thread is the preparation to utterly and irrevocably surrender herself. The concept of self-worth is given up to be replaced by the absolute acceptance of her worth as evaluated by her owner. The focus on self... wants, desires, expectations, ect are let go so that she can become a sponge for the requirements of her owner. In short, she prepares herself to give up free will and accept the will of her owner as the only guiding force in her world and that for her to be fulfilled she needs to be actually owned as a slave.

Ok, back to the idea of an arranged marriage...

Arranged marriages were most often used to cement a single concept, be it religious, political, economic, or even familial ties.

A slave, the property, is arranging her own marriage in her search for an owner. The single guiding concept is 'can and will he own me completely.' That is where her investigation needs to start. She needs to know him, his morals, his expectations, his requirements, because once she surrenders to him, her choices are gone.

I know, I know... 'she can always leave!'

No, she can not. If she were to impose her will on the situation and walk out, it would shatter her mental status as property for in walking out, she is saying 'I am not a slave.' She might beg daily to be given away or released, but she will not leave, such is her commitment to her slavery. That commitment is the result of her internal enslavement.

For a slave seeking her owner, that is the foundation; that he be a man capable of actually owning her. That is the basis of her surrendering to him. All too often the hallmarks of a 'normal' relationship clutter the field... romance, similar tastes, attraction, love.

By approaching her search as an arranged marriage, she focuses on that one deciding issue and that allows her clarity in making her choice. The rest will come later through the service and devotion she provides and the structure, discipline, and stability he provides.

Learning to surrender as a woman

I think what is most difficult varies from woman to woman. While many of you might have the same goal, to be owned, none of you can follow the same path to it.

The loss of the right to make or even influence decisions or the schedule of life can be very hard. The move, going from all the freedom in the world to none can be a shock.

Another area many women struggle with is giving up the attention... they are young, attractive, and draw in the attention of many men who are the same. They treat you like a princess and tell you how cute it is when you brat or dom them from the bottom, so to speak. It feels nice to be fawned over, put on a pedestal. Unfortunately, no owner is going to put you there, and if they see you posed on the pedestal, they will deliberately walk away because that behavior is way to self-absorbed for a woman who is seeking slavery.

The last area I will hit on here that women struggle with is entitlement and self worth. Since you were little society has pounded into your heads that you are special, you have innate value, you are entitled to certain things and to be treated a certain way. This can be a very sneaky and very hard issue to get over.

You are not innately special or of value. You become special and of value to a man through your obedience, dedication, hard work, and service. Through those things you can become more valuable to him than you ever imagined, but it is at his whim. You are entitled to nothing. He will not give you anything, not even his time or a collar. You earn them. You earn the time he invests in you to make you better for him, and when you become valuable enough to him, when you are good enough, then he may award you his ownership.

Girls, as contrary as this is to society at large and bdsm dommy/subbie culture, you are not the prize. He is. He is that rarest of men, one not beguiled by your beauty or humor or intellect, one willing and able to own you. He is the prize, remember that, and work your asses off to earn and keep his attention, for he is the key to your fulfillment... being owned.

Punishment...the necessary evil

This post was prompted by a variety of comments, posts, questions, ect. that have somehow found their way to my attention. Granted, not all of the people making the statements are coming from an Owner-property perspective, but I figured since there are so many confusing messages out there, I might as well do a post.

I apologize in advance... this post is gonna bounce around a lot because there are some widely separated issues I want to address.

To start this off, I am going to mini-rant about something I see as extremely destructive in a O/p relationship. It is common in BDSM. Many subs, brats, princesses, babygirls, ect live for it...

I am talking about funishment. The creation of a scenario where the girl fails so the dom has a reason to 'punish' her. He has a good time spanking her, she has a good time being spanked, the whole thing is followed by a little suckie-fuckie. A good time is had by all, right? Where is the harm?

Slaves are not subs/brats/princesses/babies/ect... they bring a depth of submission and a seriousness of purpose that their BDSM peers do not and can not understand. A failure on their part is not something they will giggle about and move on. Setting them up to intentionally fail is about as cruel as it gets. I am going to use a word I never use: It is abuse.

She is yours. Completely. Absolutely. Her existence is dedicated to your profit, pleasure, and comfort. You want to hurt her? Don't play head games with her. Tell her. Instead of manufacturing a failure on her part, a reason to punish her, man the fuck up and say, 'I want to see you scream and cry and bleed... I am going to hurt you.'

She might hate the pain, but it is a million times easier to bear than thinking you are displeased with her. At least while she suffers for you she can take pride in her suffering, knowing that her blood, sweat, tears, and screams are for your pleasure, not because she failed.

Draw a very big red line between sadistic pleasures and punishment, and make damn sure she knows what side of the line she is on. End rant.
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The first thing I will hit on is how I see punishment. What is it? What is it's purpose?

When a slave transgresses, either by action, inaction, word, or a displeasing attitude, she has incurred a debt to her owner. Punishment is how she pays that debt. Punishment is not fun for me. I hate it.

Before moving forward with a punishment, I look at a several things:
1. Was I clear in my expectations and instructions to her? Was it my fuck up?
2. Did she understand those instructions or expectations?
3. Was this a new task or requirement to her?
4. Did she make me aware of her failing, or did I have to call her on it?
5. Is this a repeat offense, and if so, how long as it been since the last time?
6. Was this a human mistake, or a challenge to my authority/will?
7. Was she contrite? Was she fearful of her punishment?

The answers to those questions determines what the punishment will be, if any. If I wasn't clear or neglected to tell her key info, i won't punish her. If she transgressed while trying to make me laugh, just taking the humor too far, I might just pop her on the rump and tell her 'enough.' If it was a heat of the moment discussion and she forgot her place, a slap in the mouth might suffice. If it was something more serious, but she realized what she did and told on herself, and/or I could see she was contrite and scared of the punishment and it was a first offense, those might mitigate the punishment. If it was deliberate defiance... well, she is for the beating of a lifetime.

My personal over-riding philosophy on punishment for serious issues is simple: Make it fast, immediate if possible, and make it brutal so she comes away with one thing in her mind; I don't ever want to fuck up like that again.

One thing I see subbies say all the time is 'knowing my sir is displeased is enough punishment.' Bullshit. With a capital B.

A slave needs to know her failure has consequences. She needs to pay her debt. She knows she needs to be punished because you punishing her does 2 things:

1. I gives her balance. It pays her debt, gives her a clean slate. Your displeasure is appeased and she is back in your good graces.

2. It tells her you care enough about her to discipline her, to hold her to your standard. You want her to be the best she can possibly be for you, and she will be grateful for it, and her devotion and surrender will grow.

Ok, this last section might be a little controversial, but it wouldn't be one of my writings if it didn't ruffle a few feathers... or maybe pluck the whole damn goose.

I know many owners, some I have been friends with for years, use isolation as punishment. Caging, sending her away temporarily or permanently, ect.

I personally do not believe in this method, and here is why:

As her owner, I am the center of her universe. I want her subservient, devoted, dependent. I always want her closer. If I send her the message she messed up and I don't want her around me, that weakens the bond for most women. She needs the security of my ownership to function, to be fulfilled. For most slaves, she would rather face the worst beating of her life than spend a minute questioning her place as your property.

If she genuinely pisses me off, have her kneel in a corner, in the same room with me, never leaving her alone, until I am calmed down enough to actually punish her and not risk damaging my valuable property accidentally.

It would be funny if it weren't so sad...

Girls, slavery is an all consuming status of being. There is only one question that truely matters.... 'do i need to be owned?'

What you like or want don't amount to a hill of beans. Limits? Those are set by the owner, not the property.

Got talking to a casual aquaintance from , and he was commenting on how many limits his prospective slave has...

My comment in reply was.... yeah... and you are gonna accept that? Drop the bitch till she accepts her place.

Goddamn the game gets old. Girls, for fucks sake be real. If you are wanting a cyber fantasy, there are an army of pussy whipped bastards out there ready to play your little game.

Be real or br gone.

 this is an excerpt from a 'slave' here on cm's journal...

What people say: "As property you would be allowed no limits."

What people hear: "I am going to use a semantic debate about the word 'slavery', to make you do something that is either gross or psycho, and when you refuse I will go back to arguing the definition of slavery."

And what owners hear when she spots this crap is "i am a slave cause it sounds sexier than subbie and i will best the best widdle slave you have ever seen as long as i am in charge."

Why do so supposed slaves with laundry lists of likes and dislikes....  if you are a slave, those don't matter.... more important what his likes and dislikes are.

Hmmmm slave.... laundry list of limits.... ok, obviously we havent read what a slave is, huh girls?

Slaves, slaves, slaves... so many slaves.... time for some of the more interesting things these cm slaves have to say... 

1. "I'm poly and just because you might own me dont expect that to stop!" 

Response: Yeah... first off a guy who shares his woman is a cuckold, plain and simple, secondly, how about we staple that cooter closed when it aint in my use? Yup... might solve her little fidelity problem! 

2. "Just because i am your slave, dont think i will just obey you!" 

response: yeah... ok... run along little girl back to the wonderful fantasy land where slave=princess and owner=knight in shining armor who is pussywhipped 

3. "i'm seeking a daddy!" 

response: runalong  back to playtime kiddo, my cat is about as much of a slave as you. 

4. "I'm into blah blah blah...i'm not into blah blah blah" 

response: who gives a fuck? you are the meat. your purpose is simple: to shut the fuck up and eagerly, cheerfully, gratefully, and instantly obey without hesitation, failure or complaint.

I scroll through looking at profiles for supposed 'slaves' and often see them proclaim they are not doormats, ect...


I always scratched my head and wondered why some subby pointing a finger or a lameass daddy dom trying to seduce telling her not to be a doormat was so offensive to them when most of them eagerly claim to be sluts and whore and cunts and whatever other terms would apply.

Well, as the pseudo slaves gnash teeth and protest their non doormat-esqueness, for you ladies who quietly embrace the meaning behind the term, here is a wonderful essay I found for you.

http://www.humbledfemales.com/doormat.html

For those who do not wish to clicky linky, here is the text...

Doormat?
Why, Thank You.

By Katie B.

I've recently noticed that there are measurements by which many judge a female within that horrible alternative lifestyle known as "BDSM," a line where her servility stops being seen as the noble practices of a good servant, and instead becomes the weak actions of the "doormat." I've watched many a discussion unfold where one humbled girl will voice a truly subservient opinion, only to be reprimanded by her sisters for being weak, devoid of personality, and passionless.

Given the number of slave listings around, I thought I would post this quote from a site dedicated to the small sub-culture of true slave owners for those interested to consider.