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Female Dominant, 51, münchen/sofia
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Female Switch, 26
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Female Submissive, 18
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About TiaraLily
Who am I? Good question... I am a Dominant sensual sadist who is no longer seeking a long term monogamous Dominant submissive relationship. I've found my sweet pet. God help him as I now possess the only key to his chastity device! I am an open book and willing to answer any questions. For the first time in all of my years on and off of collarme/collar space I am finally uploading photos of myself. Yes I have opted to leave the hedgehog photos as my main since so many find them amusing. Update... I've tried three times now to add recent photos... It claims to have uploaded them each time... I do have photos on FL same name. In the mean time I will keep trying to upload photos. |
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Please note this was an email sent by my soon to be son in law to my daughter! Not that I have fallen in love
True love exists even in this realm. Here I offer proof. Though it requires no labels, no pomp nor circumstance. She is in control and he dutifully follows. He is her champion, her knight in shining tin foil. For them this works. I've never been happier as a Mother than tonight as I read this missive from his heart to hers.
Cerenity,
?That word has a whole new meaning to me. My Serenity is spelled with a C, and I never imagine it spelled any differently. Serenity is something that many search for throughout their lives, and to my greatest surprise- while it?s not entirely in the way many imagine it- I wake up every day with Cerenity in my heart.
?If you had told me five years ago that my true love would act like a cat, and treat me like her best female friend, I would have thought it to be an elaborate joke. In truth I didn?t even realize that this is what I wanted. I didn?t even realize that a relationship like this existed. I didn?t know Cerenity, as I do know.
?I thought that I was being myself around other people. I thought that trying to be tough, and protective, and acting like a guy was not only what girls wanted, but what I wanted. I thought that?s what the world was. I was so convinced that I had to be something, that I myself believed I was that person.
?I saw the world in full-color, but when I looked at myself I was seeing black and white; and at the time I didn?t even realize it. Guys were supposed be big and strong, and impress the girls. Straight guys, were- well straight right?
?If I was trying to make amends with someone else, I couldn?t allow myself to fall in love. If I wanted to be a good guy, I couldn?t find someone attractive, or have a crush on her? But I did all of those things.
?The first time we talked, you became my best friend. The first time you called me on the phone, you acted like you liked me; you acted like you cared. You didn?t wait three days, or play any sort of games. You didn?t make me say any magic words. It wasn?t up to me? It was up to us.
?I didn?t know what this was. I didn?t know girls like you even existed. I didn?t know that anyone other than myself believed in being straight, forward and not following some sort of rules system when it came to dating.
?The more I talked to you the more I fell in love with you. The more we talked, the closer we became. You were my best friend. Through everything it took for me to figure out that I actually loved you, you continued to talk to me the same way.
?You supported every relationship I had along the way, you talked with me through everything. Soon you found someone else and I thought I had missed my chance? that?s when I realized that I truly did love you?
?Even through that we remained best friends. You didn?t talk to me differently, like your boyfriend would get jealous. If he got jealous of anything, you would have told me that was his problem; that we?re friends.
?All of that ran its course.
?Finally, you just told me we were dating. Before I asked your mother?s blessing as is custom in your family, before I asked you to date me, before I even had a chance to come up with some romantic plan? we were dating. It was so matter of fact.
?I loved you? and you loved me? So we?re together. That?s the way it should be. No games, no beating around the bush. Just best friends, in love, being what we?re supposed to be.
?Together.
?Suddenly as I spent more and more time with you, I found that I was being myself more than I had ever thought possible. I thought I was myself before, but I didn?t show emotions. I thought I was being true to who I was, but I acted like men were ?supposed to act.?
?With you I could cuddle. With you I could ask for a hug, I could cry, I could confess reasons that I was hurting even if they had nothing to do with you and made absolutely no sense.
?I spoke your language. I spoke your personal, made up, truthfully autistic language; cataneese. I spoke it in front of people. We talked the way we wanted no matter who was looking at us, like we were best friends. We didn?t finish each other?s sandwiches because that?s just annoying, but we didn?t have to finish sentences to know what we were talking about.
?I tore the wall down. I stopped trying so hard to be the way guys were supposed to be and acted the way I felt. I let my feminine side out, and you hugged it like a puppy, and have never let go since.
?Without you, without my Cerenity, I wouldn?t know what it means to be myself. I?ve discovered more about who I am, and who I needed to stop convincing myself to be in the past five years than I had in the 18 BC (Before Cerenity).
?You aren?t my whole world; you are my serenity. You made me be me. And you were you.
?Maybe if I learned these things without you I would be different, but it doesn?t matter because what happened next was even more incredible.
?Slowly, we just became one. I rubbed off on you, and you rubbed off on me. We talked through issues instead of fighting and breaking up. We wanted to be together, so we TRIED to be together. We didn?t change each other in a bad way. We voluntarily met in the middle. We didn?t become one by going to bed together, but by being each other around each other.
?We don?t do everything together, but it?s like you?re always there. When you can be there, you are; at least when you?re interested. Same goes for myself.
?We must be the most annoying couple in the world to single people because you just can?t have Christian without Cerenity; it?s impossible.
?It?s crazy. You encourage me to be who I am. You encourage me to cuddle into you and watch My Little Pony, or play videogames. You never ask me to leave the room or stop playing a game you truly dislike, as long as I make time for you.
?I never knew that true love was cuddling on the couch, making un-sloppy joes, and meowing at each other like cats. I never knew that love could be this warm, and pure, and comfortable. I never that my best friend would still act like she was my best friend- like absolutely nothing has changed between us and how we talk to each other- when she became my girlfriend.
?I was looking over to you as I wrote this in my head, and I thought; ?I?m sitting here watching youtube, with the girl of my dreams next to me on the couch. We don?t have to cuddle to know we?re in love. We don?t have to cling to each other- though we choose to- to know we?re together. This; just this? just sitting next to her, pestering her, and watching random things on the internet. This is the perfect day.?
?I never wanted to leave?
?I want every day to be like today was. I want every day to be this comfortably in love. I am so secure in being with you, that even miles apart I know you?re right here. Yet one day, I hope we?re no longer miles apart on a regular basis.
?These last five years have been one crazy, amazing, and grand adventure. I?ve leveled up a lot, changed around some stats? I?ve learned more about my character class, and speced myself to work well with you. I?m writing in nerd and you still get it, HOLY ARCERUS THIS IS AMAZING!!
?These last five years have been amazing, and they?re only the beginning. One day? one day soon? I look forward to making our engagement official. One day I hope to marry you. One day I hope to live in the same house and have every day be like our valentine?s day was.
?I want to continue on this adventure, with you as my partner, wherever the road takes us. You are my Cerenity; and marrying you is the greatest quest I?ve ever accepted. The next quest? Well, let?s make a promise to take it on together!
?I know it?s a bit late to ask, but will you be my player 2? My valentine?
?Will you help me conquer our dreams together, lay siege to a castle to make it our own, find the ring of betrothal, and once we?ve finished the quest share the plunder in our grand fortress? Will you please continue this quest with me? I need Cerenity if I wish to gain strength? As long as you?re here with me, I know we can find a way to slay the dragon of marriage expenses, and the witch of insurance lake.
I love you always and forever,
Your valiant Silver knight?
PS: This totally isn?t tin foil armor. It?s a masterwork +2 against alien mind control. Believe me, I?m not crazy.
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One more hour of drive time to 72 hours of much needed Me Time!
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Good morning world
A light mist has settled over the area which makes me smile.
What an eventful week this one has been I must say! The impossible took a chance and walked right past me. I was smart enough to reach out and take hold making the impossible my reality. The constant smile has yet to leave my face and I am content to simply let it remain. I've had two nights this week where I felt out of sorts physically, last night with a migraine and a few nights ago when my MS simply wiped the floor with me.
Today being what it is I have agreed to make homemade chicken enchiladas and Spanish rice for my brood. To take a line from Mine... The glove to my hand... Fits ever so well and complements me ever so sweetly. So today I will put Smike.DK on pandora and Dance around the kitchen while preparing dinner.
Hugs to all
Miss Bella |
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Tonight I am compelled to say many things. Things perhaps hard for me to say and admit.
Tonight I let go. Tonight I give thanks. Tonight I finally say goodbye to your memory.
It's been five long yet fast moving years. So I will start this as I feel I should.
Thank you for teaching me about myself, about love, about misplaced trust, and about life.
Five years ago a few months past I placed my collar around your neck. I did not realize how little I knew about love until I met you. I allowed you into the shadows of my soul and learned to love with a fiery passion. I would have given my last breath to save you harm. I would have given the beating heart from my chest to save your life should it have been needed.
Thank you for letting me grieve the passing of my child. You held me as shuddering sobs wracked my body. You helped me breathe when I thought it impossible. So I must thank you from the bottom of my heart.
You also lied to me. You destroyed me to my very core. You were nearly the death of me.
Yet I must thank you and move on.
You see because of you I walked away from this lifestyle. I doubted myself as a person, as an empath, as a Domme.
So tonight I will thank you. Tonight I will do what is hardest for me... I will forgive you without answers. I will wish you well and pray you find happiness.
Tonight I will do for me and remove the negativity. The black poison that stains my soul, shake free of its binding and look with bright eyes to the future.
I can not say I will never think of you again, as I will not lie to myself or anyone else. Yet I can say with certainty that these memories will no longer cause me pain, will no longer haunt me, will no longer stop me from being Me. An amazing Domme, an amazing woman, an intuitive empath, and a butterfly emerging from its cocoon.
I have purged you from my life. All photos, all mementos, all reminders.
I am back. Ready to see where this journey takes me.
Goodbye and be well James Michael
May your journey be blessed
Miss Bella |
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Tears bathe my cheeks as yet again I wake from the same nightmare. One more night and Mercury retrograde will be over. This too shall pass. Ten out of eleven nights is excessive. Is it Friday yet? I need to immerse myself in water, block the emotions of the world and simply breathe.
Off to attempt sleep again.
Miss Bella |
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Feeling discombobulated, emotions unchecked.
I can only describe my current state of thought with the following statement.
I feel like a 64 count box of crayons used with wreckless abandon before being unceremoniously dumped back into the box. Colors all out of whack, some sharp, some dull, some used to the extent paper was torn back exposing the soft wax beneath its surface, some broken from misuse and abuse.
Trying to make sense of it all within the confines of my own head.
Perhaps tomorrow will bring clarity to what I should do with this unexpected situation dropped in my lap from a friend recently diagnosed with cancer.
Miss Bella |
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Nearly two years have come and gone. While I am not longer plagued with nightmares, their memory still bears a mark upon both my heart and soul. I no longer miss you. Yet I will admit to missing what we shared. I miss those feelings with every molecule in my body ablaze.
I can happily say this.
I once loved you more than anything or anyone. I once would have given my own life to protect you from harm. I once gave everything I had to someone who let's face it was not deserving. You lied, premeditated, long drawn out lies. Lies that nearly cost me my life.
I no longer love you yet I still can not find it in me to hate you either. I do pity you more than you will ever know.
I could destroy your life as you know it. Your parents, brother, sister, nieces and nephews. I could destroy your career In the military and as a pilot indefinitely. I could do so with ease. You provided me with more than enough ammunition to do so.
Here is the difference.
You see I am not you. I can not destroy lives. I can not with willful intent destroy your family and career. Do you deserve it? Oh yes you did and let's face it still do. One day you will find that karma is a bitch. It will come back to haunt you.
For those of you who read this do yourself a favor.
Never lie. Lies hurt. The truth hurts at times but far less than a lie.
Never make someone your priority when you remain their option.
Live life to it's fullest with no regrets.
Love wholeheartedly as if you have never been hurt.
Know in your heart you will be hurt again and be okay with this fact.
James Michael I know you will read this because you lurk about thinking I do not know. Know this... I don't care. Go fuck yourself! No one will ever love you the way I did. No one will ever treat you as good as I did. No one will ever replace me. You gave all of that up with your lies and deceit.
Miss Bella
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I am in a funky, cranky, out of sorts mood tonight. Consider yourself forewarned.
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The loneliest people are the kindest
The saddest people smile the brightest
The most damaged people are the wisest
All because they do not want to see anyone else suffer the way they have.
Bear this in mind the next time someone smiles at you, offers you a bit of kindness, or offers a word of advice .
They are only trying to help in their own unique way.
Return the favor or pay it forward
Smile back
Say thank you for their advice and take it into consideration as it applies to your situation
We all have our own heartaches and heartbreaks to mend, overcome, and rise above.
Pain is pain
Fear is fear
Do not belittle their experience simply because you feel yours was worse. It is still pain. It is still fear. Give them the respect due and acknowledge their pains and fears. Accept them for what they are. Help them find relief from their pain. Teach them how to overcome their fears.
Remember it's not a contest!
Thoughts that haunt my mind at 2:22 am
Miss Bella |
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As a parent I write this entry.
Kendra this is for you and those like you who have endured the unthinkable.
Parents and human beings both in the lifestyle and those on the outside looking in.
Bear in mind the power you have in shaping the lives of those you brought with love into this world. Accept them, embrace them, love them and treat them as they deserve to be treated. Never tell them their dreams are outlandish or foolish in time they will stop dreaming. They will stop believing in themselves. I hope you do not know the damage you have caused with your ignorance and intolerance.
I do not care what the doctor said when they were born. They are who they feel they are.
Boy
Girl
Man
Woman
Accept them as they are and love them that is all they have ever asked of you. Yet you belittle them, demean them, call them horrific names a parent should never utter to anyone least of all their children.
Shame on you! Grow up and act like the parent you signed on to be in the first place!
Kendra be the beautiful, sexy, charming woman you are and ignore the words of the ignorant. They know not what their words do.
With tears in my eyes,
Miss Bella |
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Experiences
Life is a series of experiences. Some that make us laugh, some a simple smile, some that cause pain, some that leave their unseen by the naked eye mark. We hope that mark is a positive one as that is what we should always seek to leave in our wake.
It is what we do with those experiences that help us grow as human beings and evolve into better people.
I thank each and everyone of you for those experiences you have shared with me, created with me and evoked within me.
I may not have liked each experience but I am accepting of each experience and what it taught me.
Forgive as if you have never been hurt before.
Love as if tomorrow will never become your today.
Live life to it's fullest and enjoy every step along the way.
Tread lightly upon the souls of those you encounter and remember that they too are human beings with emotions and feelings.
with nothing but love,
Miss Bella
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Let's see how to start this journal entry off right. Tenire and others like you out there with this mind set this is for you.
Chivalry is not dead my friends. It has simply fallen by the way side oft times ignored by the males of our race.
I grew up in a world where when a woman entered the room and approached a table all men stood out of respect until she was seated. They rose from their seats as she took her leave as well. Men held doors open. Men offered their jackets at the slightest of shiver and their reward was their jacket smelling of her sweet scent upon its return. It was not frowned upon to place your hand in the small of her back to guide her step as she walked beside you. For the record a Dominant Female allowing a male to do this while walking beside her does not make her a submissive. It makes her a Lady! She knows how a woman should be treated and expects nothing less from the males that she allows in her company.
There is nothing wrong with a Dominant Male doing these things for his submissive it shows his respect for her as a human being and shows how much he cherishs her presence in his life.
So often I have seen that we become hung up on roles and status in life. Bottom line we are still men and women and there are certain things that should be done regardless of the title we slap on ourselves. Men act like chivalrous gentlemen. Women act like a Lady. Its quite simple really.
Submissive males look at the Dominant Female and consider her to be the aggressor. Which lets face it most often she is just that. There are times in which we simply state our wishes and expect things to be done to our satisfaction and there are those times in which we wait to see if the submissive will ask if he can do this or that to please us. Believe it or not there are times when even Dommes want to be romanced. Everyone enjoys a good persuit from time to time it does not change who we are or our personalities it simply makes us human. With human needs and desires.
For me perhaps what it boils down to at the end of the day is this. I want a submissive male who is a romantic gentleman who is kinky as can be and listens well. One who knows how to treat a Lady and how to woo a Lady as well as keep his Lady happy as a lark. After all a happy Domme makes for a happy little subbie does it not?
I agree this should have likely been broken down into a few different journal entries. Be that as it may here is this hodgepodge of information for you to do with as you wish.
Be kind to your fellow human kind. Treat them with respect unless you have reason not to do so. Ignore the strange looks from others who do not understand why a grown man pulls out chairs for his lady. Ignore the sidelong glances as you hold doors for her as she enters. Tenire you get that often so just ignore it. It all boils down to lazy males glaring at you because they dont want their woman getting the idea that men should do this for their lady! And yes women glaring at her out of sheer jealousy because they wish they could beat some sense into their men.
As the temperatures finally drop I bid you all a pleasant evening snuggled close with loved ones. Perhaps the first fire of the season. Nothing paints a more amazing picture than firelight on human flesh. Enjoy yourselves.
TL |
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There are moments in life that while perhaps they do not define us they do alter our life in what one must hope is a positive way. Tonight I had the pleasure of experiencing one such moment in time. To those of you who know me this will come as no surprise. Yet to those who do not understand me, you with think perhaps I am a bit off my rocker or perhaps just a touch more than strange. There are also those of you who do not know me but understand how this came to be and the simple why of it's existence and my reaction to it.
For the first time I heard The Piano Guys... Or perhaps I should say saw them... A YouTube video or perhaps a dozen by the time I was able to tear myself away. Their originality, scope of vision, ability to bring classical music from the limelight into the view of our nations young, their passion and ability to envision a setting in which to record their masterpiece to me is simply breathtaking. Brief moments that stole my breath, heart skipping a beat in anticipation of what is to come, tonight my soul smiled. For that I thank them and all whom inspired them.
I was transported back many years in time to a place buried deep yet far from forgotten. I once knew and loved a boy who understood my delight in beauty. Simple things really. Nature in all it's many splendors. Music in it's many delightful forms. Before his death he taught me the beauty off how music feels.
Feels?!?
Yes feels.
So many times I watched and listened to him play a variety of instruments. Piano, guitar, drums, and the flute. The piano taught me to feel music. The night of my 13th birthday was the hour in which I felt music, more than heard, felt music. It changed me forever. Laughing he asked if I wanted to experience music from another angle. Intrigued I of course said yes. He said lay on the cold hard wood floor beneath the piano on your back, close your eyes and listen not only with your ears but with your body as well. I FELT the music with every fiber of my being. This moved me to tears and deepened my love for all things beautiful. My friend has long since departed this world, yet remains ever a part of my life through music.
My heartfelt thanks to my dearest friend and to the piano guys for taking me back to a beautiful place.
Miss Bella |
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Relationships without trust are a half-hearted effort. If you want to succeed you have to be willing to give it your all.
This says it all. It is most likely the main reason behind my initial endeavors into the lifestyle so many years ago. Vanilla relationships are so incredibly lack luster and half-assed. They put in as little as is possible to get what they want from it. They are not in it for the long haul they are in it for the here and now with no thoughts about the future. D/s relationships are not this way as a general rule. We realize our places, we realize how difficult it can be to find a suitable mate who subscribes to our particular brand of D/s and or kink and we do what we must to ensure the relationship succeeds. Those who are in it for the here and now are those who are scene friendly individuals who are only in it for the kink there is no game playing there. They are upfront and honest about their lack of interest in living the lifestyle but admit willingly that they want their needs met at the same time. There is nothing wrong with this so long as both parties are on the same page and agree to these game plans and rules.
I will happily tell you that I am not scene friendly. I am in it for the long haul and the lifestyle. To me this is not a kink. It is who I am and the relationship type I require to have my needs met.
Let's not play games my friends. Be honest about who you are, what you want and need from life and have the courage to go after it.
Keep the half-assed attempts and efforts contained to other areas of your lives.
Tiara Lily |
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Just a thought for the day to share with those of you who actually read my journal here on CollarMe.
I was the recent recipient of a truly disturbing email which ( minus any identifying information) I will share with you. Thus saving myself from the clutches of Collar Me TOS issues. While I knew that schmucks like this exist just as they exist in all relationship types. I have never encountered one candid about his reason for being the way he is. The level of disrespect he shows to fellow human beings is hard for me to swallow.
Here is how this story unfolded.
Random guy on CM messages me. We speak for a bit ( a day ) ands I write him off as I have no interest in him. The following morning I receive yet another email. Different photo, word choices, same age and location however. It dawns on me... This is the same guy different profile. I decline to reply to his missive obviously. Ten or so minutes later I see yet another profile. Same age same location... No photo this time however, I am certain that this profile as well belongs to this person. I sent him a brief note letting him know that three profiles is a bit much...
Here is the reply I received. In order to remain in compliance with the TOS I will replace any identifying information such as screen names with ...... Rather than the actual information.
Tiara,
I wanted to come clean with you because of how you impressed me?
?
I was impressed that you noticed the three accounts, though I should have made better picture selections. In any case, if you read my profile for ?.....,? you will notice I speak of how subs manipulate their Mistress. This in itself is a form of manipulation by appearing to be upfront and knowledgeable about such manipulation. The goal being to get the Mistress to lower her guard and let me in.
?
Now you may wonder why such a scheme is necessary. Well, I believe most Mistress?s are stupid and blinded by their own vanity. If you tell them what they want to hear and do things in a certain way, then their response can be quite predictable. The goal of course being that they believe they are making decisions for themselves, when in reality their making the decision I want them to make. By setting a number of parameters and allowing them to input a few, I have created a predictable outcome while allowing the Mistress to feel they have independently controlled the situation, when in reality, they are the controlled.
?
For me, that is the fun. I am never- not in control of the situation and relish the misplaced theory of authority placed upon me.
You might find that to be evil, but I am who I am.
?
In business, I have used this process to move myself up. I have manipulated bosses into believing the decisions they are making are of their own mindset, when in reality I set the parameters that led them to the ultimate conclusion. However, it is not at their expense do they make these decisions, but rather their benefit, as I believe in order to better myself, I must also strive to better those around me. ?
?
So how well does this manipulation of thought work? Extremely well. If you can get someone to make the decision you want them to make while making them think they came up with it on their own, then you can move the world?with mere words.
By the way, all the misspellings on my profile are also a part of the manipulation. Appearing to be dumb only weakens those who fall for the trap. ?One does not achieve two master?s degrees and working on a doctorate without a few smarts. ...
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Forewarning potentially volatile rant ahead
I care not if the friend in question even bothers to read this but get it off my chest I must!
For starters I am very sick at the moment. I have pneumonia and while granted being sick wears down on ones patience as a whole this is not something I would tolerate from a vanilla friend on the best of days never the less a so called lifestyle friend on the best of days.
In a nut shell you called me out of the blue at nearly midnight to ask me a few questions yet let's be frank and honest here... Did you listen to my answers? Did you even care what my answer or opinion was? Why ask that which you do not care to hear the answer about in the first place! It's RUDE to interrupt and interject especially to the degree you did tonight. I as an outspoken Dominant was unable to get a word in edge wise or over top of you. This frustrated me to no end and I ultimately explained loudly and clearly that I will not be spoken over in such a manner or ignored when I am speaking and that I was going to hang up now. Perhaps it was then when I as always held true to my words and disconnected the call that you realized that I meant what I said and said what I meant.
Do not mistake my kindness for weakness
Do not mistake my big heart for a target used for practice
Do not mistake my soft voice and kind nurturing words for anything less than me simply being the amazing Woman that I am!
I am not to be taken lightly
I speak frankly and from the heart
I care deeply for even those I merely call friend
I am a lifestyle Domme this is who I am all day every day without fail
It is not something that I can or will turn off at a moments notice because who I am at the depths of my soul is not convenient for you!
Love me, hate me, like me, loathe me
The choice is yours
Make it!
Tiara Lily |
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Call me strange....
Here I sit in an ankle length gown playing Jenga... Drinking organic acai berry juice and eating a smoked turkey sandwich on sourdough with avocado, cucumbers, red onions, lettuce, tomatoes, and provolone cheese. Why no sprouts? Apparently there is a recall and my sandwich is just not the same without them!
Insert unhappy sprout free face here...
Have a wonderful evening
Lily |
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All dressed up with apparently no where to go. You have to love when fantasy meets reality and it's quickly discovered by the other party that they can't actually handle reality and all that it entails. Perhaps I will expand on this theory in another rambling journal post in the near future as it seems to be an issue ever plaguing this lifestyle.
Lily |
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I am not the personality test tasking type. I place virtually no merit in such things as they are so often grossly inaccurate. This test however was so spot on about me it was creepy and I only answered what I was most drawn to and least drawn to in these photos. Here is what it said about me.
For those of you reading this who know me you will see me in the following analysis.
NFDS The Guide
You perceive the world with particular attention to nature. You focus on what's in front of you (the foreground) and how that is affected by the details of life. You are also particularly drawn towards the shapes around you. Because of the value you place on nature, you tend to find comfort in more subdued settings and find energy in solitude. You like to deal directly with whatever comes your way without dealing with speculating possibilities or outcomes you can't control. You are highly focused on specific goals or tasks and find meaning in life by pursuing those goals. You prefer a structured environment within which to live and you like things to be predictable.
All I can say is wow...
Give this test a try and let me know via email what it says about you personally and how accurate you feel this might be.
http://www.helloquizzy.com/tests/the-perception-personality-image-test
Lily |
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What is love?
Love is selfless and without end. Often times without bounds and comprehension.
Love can be scary let's admit this simple fact up front.
Love is doing what is right for all parties even when at times we do not agree with it at the moment.
Love is taking a step back when it's needed by one party even though you might fear that taking a step back might create an insurmountable gap.
Love is reaching out for help for one you love when you can not be the one to provide them the help that they need.
Love is giving space to heal and grow even though you only want to hold them and take the pain away.
Love can not heal all things no matter how many tell you this is a fact.
Love is walking away when that is what is best for the other party.
Love wants the other person to be happy even if happy is not being with you.
Love is not smothering someone.
Love is not forcing your will upon them because it is what you think is best for them.
Love is not walking away from something simply because it's easier.
Love endures all
Remember these things my friends when you say " I love you " you are not just saying words. You are making promises.
We are only as good as our word.
Seasons greetings and blessings to you my friends.
May the coming season be all you hoped and dreamed for.
Bright lights of trees scented heavily of pine
Roaring fires on nights bitter cold
Warm bodies sharing warmth and memories held dear
Make the season count!
Lily |
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More than a month has passed since my last real journal entry on any one given topic of consequence. This apparently has not gone unnoticed by friends and readers of my journal. So with your complaints in mind I have come up with a topic to ramble on nonsensically about. Well perhaps not so nonsensical after all...
Acceptance Vs Tolerance
Human beings all have preset basic needs both emotionally and physically. One which is so seldom lend any credence or voiced is the need for acceptance by those around us. Many would venture to say that they do not care what others think of them but let's be honest here... They do care... They like everyone else want to be accepted as the person that they are deep down inside. They want to find that one person that they can be with and simply be who they are at the very core of their being without fear of reprisal or rejection. This is normal. This is healthy.
Some merely tolerate others which I find incredibly cruel... Why tolerate that which you do not love and embrace? Come on we both know that in time you are going to tire of being tolerant and seek to quiet that part of the person and make it go away so that you do not have to deal with it any more. Are you doing them any favors by being tolerant of something that you do not like? No in reality you are not... you are actually doing them a grave injustice by giving them a false sense of security and belonging. When the time comes when you tire of whatever kink and or behavior that you have merely been tolerating what is going to happen? You are going to stop allowing them to be who they are. Resentments will grow, discontent and hurt feelings will abound. Do you think that you are doing them a favor by being their Right NOW rather than their RIGHT and making them wait for RIGHT? Of course your not. Either be their friend, take them on merely as a play partner and not as a submissive, or just politely explain that their brand of kink does not jive with yours and it would be best to leave it at that.
Yes I know that there are many subs out there who according to their profiles want a Dominant to come along and break them down and destroy them and rebuild them into what ever it is that the Dominant wants them to be. This is NOT healthy! Why would you want to be with someone who does not like nor love who you are and wants to change everything about you?
Change in relationships is to be expected and should be evolutionary and not forced, coerced nor obtained through threats.
Love yourself so that others can love you as well!
Tiara Lily |
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For those of you who have sat and wondered what the difference is between men and women... Finally after much deliberation I have an answer for you... Short, sweet, simple and to the point...
One is comes prepackaged with an " outtie " the other comes with an " innie " !
Question answered...
Tiara Lily |
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Humiliation VS Embarrassment...
Lets be honest here they really are two entirely different things but then again we go back to semantics. Most in the lifestyle lump both into one and it really is different.
Lets take a look at the actual definitions here for a moment if you will...
Humiliation
1. The act of humiliating; degradation.
2. The state of being humiliated or disgraced; shame.
3. A humiliating condition or circumstance. 4. state of disgrace or loss of self-respect 5. depriving one of self-esteem 6. an instance in which you are caused to lose your prestige or self-respect And there we have HUMILIATION which can indeed cause EMBARRASSMENT I do not dispute this fact. Embarrassment
1. To cause to feel self-conscious or ill at ease; disconcert
2. To involve in or hamper with financial difficulties.
3. To hinder with obstacles or difficulties; impede.
4. To complicate.
5. To interfere with (a bodily function) or impede the function of (a body part).
6. cause to be embarrassed; cause to feel self-conscious
Definition one hits the nail on the head guys... To cause to feel SELF CONSCIOUS or ILL AT EASE!!!
Embarrassment is fine it brings one out of the box they normally live in and places them in situations that are out of the norm and create this feeling withing themselves. For example sitting to pee while in chastity, a male submissive with painted toe nails, a male submissive wearing women's undergarments beneath his male clothing...
If this is what you want to call Humiliation then by all means call it as you see it but I being the literal person that I am use my words appropriately and call a duck a duck guys. I call this embarrassment... I deem this acceptable to me personally when dealing with a submissive but I do not condone nor practice HUMILIATION on any being.
When reading my journal I ask only one thing of the reader. Read every word and think it over. Read what is presented to you without drawing conclusions and missing important details. I did indeed state in my last post that THERE ARE FORMS OF WHAT MOST OF YOU CALL HUMILIATION that I do agree with the use of... Embarrassment is that form...
I think that this has been my most venting post to date. One filled with vexation at others inability or lack of desire to read what is being presented to them in its entirety and not glancing over something thinking they know what it is or was that I was talking about in the first place. I say what I mean and I mean what I say... I am quite literal in that regard....
For those of you who do enjoy what is actually humiliation this post is in no way designed or intended to be a jab at you for your thoughts and or beliefs. It is simply my thoughts, feelings and emotions on the matter expressed in a method which I find helpful or at least hope will be helpful.
Tiara Lily
with a 104 degree temperature
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Humiliation...
A valid topic for a forum such as this we must agree...
Let me preface this by saying this is nothing more than my thoughts on the matter and I respect that yours may indeed differ from mine. Feel free to attack my point of view in email if you must but I assure you it will not sway my beliefs on the matter but I would enjoy hearing from the other side of the fence with those who enjoy this particular activity. Perhaps it will make more sense if explained from the point of view of someone who enjoys it.
Humiliation and degradation two things often involved in so called D/s relationships.
I thought that the bullying stopped when school yard dramatics ended but perhaps I was wrong... It seems rampant in this lifestyle. Do you get off on making someone feel like crap about themselves? How can this possibly be a healthy activity to engage in? Do you realize that in time they are going to believe you and think so little of themselves that they are going to hop from one terrible degrading relationship to another? Or perhaps you do realize this and that was your goal all along... How can you be with someone you detest so much that you need to do this to them? We are all human with faults and imperfections embrace them rather than exploit them and make them feel less than human for being different.
There are varying methods of humiliation some I find acceptable some I do not.
Verbal humiliation... Damaging in ways your narrow minded brain can not fathom. Name calling, constant reminders of another perceived inadequacies, treating a being as something worthless or less than human. This is UNACCEPTABLE in my book.
Humiliation derived from actions one is asked to do by another. For example requiring a male sub to sit to urinate while in chastity. Yes he is sitting like a girl to pee. Some may find this humiliating... Is it intended to be such? No of course not. It is common sense... What happens when you stand to pee in chastity? You pee all over yourself and the floor... This I can only imagine to be even more humiliating. You may not like sitting to pee, but it's better than peeing all over the place... Remember you were the one who wanted chastity... This is part and parcel with said kink. This is ACCEPTABLE in my book.
There is a healthy and an unhealthy in all things. How can you do these things to someone you love? How can you love someone who believes these things to be true about themselves? How can you love someone who does this to you? Often times I read a profile that says they want a Dominant to break them down and remold them into their perfect sub. Isn't there a healthier way to do this? Perhaps you just need to find the One that is perfect for you and loves you the way you are??? Think about it.
Be kind to yourself if you aren't no one else will be!
Remember the key words here...
SAFE SANE CONSENSUAL!
You may be consenting to it but is it safe and sane?
Love yourself! It is not possible to love another without first loving yourself!
Tiara Lily |
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Tonight's rambling topic...
Confusion
I bring up this topic because it is an emotion which can be felt by every human being. Dominant, submissive, vanilla alike. Confusion is equal opportunity and discriminates against no one regardless of intellect and intelligence level.
Often times actions and or inactions of those around us confuse us. We find ourselves trying to place ourselves in their shoes so to speak to better understand their methodology and way of thinking. While this is good in practice and in deed as well... I hate to say it but minds do not always think alike and we have no way of knowing for certain how theirs works and often find ourselves even more perplexed by their thought processes.
I've ceased attempting to figure out why others do or say the things that they say. It simply is and nothing can change the facts after things have been done and or said. We can soften the blow if it was said in anger or harshly but it's still there at the end of the day. We can explain ourselves when our actions or thoughts are misinterpreted by others but they may never fully grasp the situation even after lengthy conversations and explanations.
Some things simply are and defy explanation and while we may not like this fact of life we have to respect it and give it credence. Understand that we are all individuals and think differently. Remember that all points of view are indeed valid and have merit even if we do not agree with them.
Tonight I leave you with a quote all my own.
A dream is the uninhibited bits if our soul making a heartfelt wish.
Take a moment to give credence to your dreams.
If you want them badly enough they can be your reality if only you work hard enough to bring them into existence.
Through love all things are possible...
Tiara Lily |
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Fear....
It ia a distressing negative sensation induced by a perceived threat. ( or in this instance possibility of rejection ) It is a basic survival mechanism which occurs in response to a specific stimuli. In this instance the unknown... Fear is not too be confused with anxiety which occurs without any external threat. Fear is often times associated with specific behaviors such as, escape and avoidance. Fear can be internal as well. An internal fear is something inside of you which is linked to a negative emotion, or response. For example: fear developed out of low self esteem or fear of rejection/reprisal due to lifestyle likes and or dislikes.
Fear acts as a thick curtain between the 'I' and the 'you' and it not only nourishes deep distrust of the other, but inevitably brings about a shrinking and withdrawal of consciousness so as to exclude the being of another from the context of one's own life. Meher Baba
Fear is a natural and understandable response. Do not get me wrong. Allowing fear to rule one's life however is wrong. Fear allows us to give a healthy measure of respect to the unknown, which in turn keeps us from jumping off of bridges into empty lake beds. We fear the abrupt halt at the end. UNDERSTANDABLE!
When fear however rules our lives we lose a bit of ourselves. Some times you have to swallow that fear in the back of your throat and take a chance. If the fear says you are going to physically be harmed HEED THE WARNING! If the fear however is internal you must find a way to push past it all and do what is best for you and others involved. Not run and hide... Take a chance on life and let me know how that works out for you at the end of the day. Life is all about trying things out for the first time. It is how we learn what we like , love, dislike and hate.
Everyone's likes, loves, dislikes, and hates are different. Just because one can't stand something does not mean it is wrong or that no one could possibly like it or heaven forbid love it as much as you do. As they say it's different strokes for different folks. Try tempering your comments to others with this knowledge. Just because it is not your cup of tea does not make it wrong nor give you the right to impose your beliefs upon them. Let them enjoy life their own way without the likes of you narrow-minded fools making them feel as though something is wrong with them for liking different things! Do not ridicule that which you do not understand or enjoy. Just like you they are human too... It would serve you well to remember that from time to time.
Green nails remind me of one who has allowed the narrow-minded thoughts of others to beat them down.
Treat others with respect and kindness regardless of their lifestyle affiliation and preferences.
Tiara Lily |
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For those who know me well you know well of my unfailing love for music and all which it entails. Here I sit in awe of the marvels of that which music has evolved to become. Dub step meets symphonic arrangement. Epic success I might add. Nero's dub step symphony... A blend of modern day science, music, talent untold and musical genius. My heart sings as my ears are greeted with such a unique treat. Perhaps for most it is simply not your cup of tea and I respect this. For those of you who understand my enraptures state of mind I commend you for exceptional taste in the has to offer us.
With this note I leave you a link to watch and listen as musical history is made.
http://m.wimp.com/dubstepsymphony/
Best wishes and musical journeys
Tiara Lily |
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I am cold
I am heartless
I am cruel and inhumane
Or so you would like Me to believe
Questions asked answers given
Although not what you wished to hear
I made no claim to be that which I am not
I was honest without fail or fault
To you who believe this all to be true
Might I remind you I never lied to you
I was honest and upfront
I told you My boundaries
Yet when push came to shove
Guilt was My reward for friendship given
I thank you for a reminder oft times needed
Temper knowledge with compassion
And cast not the first stone
Tiara Lily |
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I had the misfortune of reading a forum post response this evening... In part it read... " No one cares if YOU are getting YOUR emotional Ya-Ya's out of every single encounter. "
Let Me say something loud, proud and clear... Were someOne to say this to My sub there would be hell to pay. While that may very well be YOUR RETARDED NEANDERTHAL way of thinking it does not mean that I have to agree or understand it but I will respect your obviously skewed methodology and allow You to state Your mind. I will also argue My position on said statement with fervor.
Personally I feel that a Dominant should care if their submissive is getting their emotional Ya-Ya's out of every single solitary encounter. If a sub is not feeling it You will know it based on their lackluster responses and while they may do as told and expected to please You their heart will not be in it. In time this lack of being into it as they know they matter so little to You as is evident in You simply making such a statement, the relationship will fail due to lack of consideration, compassion, understanding and communication.
This should be a give and take relationship. Not sub gives You take, take, take... But sub gives You take. You give sub takes. A sub needs to serve a Dominant needs to be served are both needs not being met here? Yes they are so bear that in mind when You spout off and tell Your submissive or anyOne else's submissive that no One cares... You should care... Domineering is NOT Dominant!!! Anyone can wield a stick it takes a true Dominant to control a mind.
Tiara Lily |
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I've lived, I've laughed
I've loved, I've cried
Just like you one day I will die
I too am human
Being human does not make One weak.
Do not mistake My kindness for weakness.
My thoughts, feelings, and emotions are just that ... Mine and are therefore not subject to your approval.
I do not ask that you agree with them but I do ask that you respect them for what they are.
My views on this differ greatly from the norm and I am perfectly happy with this knowledge. I know who I am, what I want from life, and what I will neither accept or settle for. Thoughts are healthy trying having a few of them every day and express those thoughts to others even if they are your Dominant. Life is too short to be lived in the shadows repressing our thoughts, feelings and desires. Enjoy life and all it has to offer you.
Live as if tomorrow may never come
Laugh from the gut, deep and resounding! Snort if you must but never regret it!
Love as though you have never been hurt before
Cry even if you are a man it is not a sign of weakness!
Die with as few regrets as possible
Do not be afraid to be human
Be kind to others
And last but not least
EXPRESS YOURSELF!!!!
Tiara Lily |
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I must say this weekend was so much more than I had hopes it would be. So often we find ourselves in a situation with a person we care for and finally get to meet. You have high hopes that things will go as well as you imagine but how often does it happen the way we plan. This weekend did not happen as I had planned comically enough but THAT is a good thing. This weekend was even more amazing than I could have dreamt in the wildest of dreams.
I looked and felt amazing! I was and I am beautiful not just on the outside although so many saw that part of me this last weekend and commented on the fact! I was able to be ME without any fears or concerns. I allowed myself to be held and to hold. I took great joy in this act. I held hands... My hands are lonely today as I type this message with only one reader in mind.
Earlier this week I happened upon a song that brought tears to my eyes. I hoped and knew in some way that this was how I would feel when you drove away. Even knowing this I never could have imagined how true Vanilla Twilight would be for us. The silence isn't so bad until I look at my hands and feel sad because the spaces between my fingers are right where yours fit perfectly. When I think of you I don't feel so alone. As many time as I blink I'll think of you tonight.
If perhaps I shed a tear it will be in happy blissful remembrance of our amazing weekend. Every moment, every experience was a strawberry. The biggest, reddest, juiciest strawberries in my patch. I think of their rosey red hue and am reminded of your blushes. The creeping silent blushes from your head to your toes curling them as they found their end. The squirming blushes that erupted without warning. The moaning blushes that haunt my mind and leave me thinking of ways to recreate them in the future.
Oohhhhh Do that again!
I chuckle remembering ME blushing more than once as well. Oh what memories we created. Memories to keep us company until our fingers find their perfect place once more. Promises made... Promises I know we both intend to keep. Your new tag on your anklet a reminder of the day we were finally able to realize the full potential of the words... snuggle, huggle, and nuzzle. The words now seem almost trite in comparison to their amazing reality. But every time we utter them we will be taken back to those moments in time and we will remember the warmth, the joy, the content feelings that washed over our hearts, bodies and souls.
Watching you sleep a soft smile upon your relaxed face, Your fingertips no longer tracing lazy patterns on my body. I felt guilty waking you if even for a moment. I asked you something and you took what seemed forever to answer. I thought you had fallen back to sleep. If you could only choose one word to describe how you feel right now what would it be? You whispered softly to me... Complete. I replied content. How true both statements are. Content comes from feeling Complete. Not longer wanting for anything. So caught up in the moment I had to remind myself to breathe. The soft puffs of your exhaled breath hot against my face mingling with the air I was trying so desperately to suck into my own lungs tasted of you. Sweet and sultry. An amazing combination. The scent so uniquely you surrounding me drawing me into the depths. The sound of your voice was music to my ears. Every laugh that brightened your eyes. Every smile that shown so apparent through the depths of our eyes. The intense crystal clear blue of your eyes as I caught you staring at me. Wondering what you were thinking. I found myself wanting to get lost in their crystaline depths. The delicate caress of the hair at the nape of your neck beneath my fingertips. The five o'clock shadow that still tingles with its reminder.
Finding out just how sensitive your ears really are and using this to my advantage to torment you. The howls, the whimpers, the moans, the pleading and begging. You suffered so beautifully for my pleasure. The electric way your body responded to my touch. Your cries of passion and pleasure. The sheer desperation in your voice trembling with every caress. Your reaction when I granted you release. The tiny tremors that wracked your body for what seemed an eternity afterwards.
Red lace and bows however uncomfortable they were at first and perhaps even throughout the night. They looked amazing. The way they framed your body. I should have taken a photo but rest assured the memory is as vibrant as any photograph could ever hope to be.
The look upon your face as you gazed in wonder at my design creation however flawed the execution may have been. The way your fingers glided over the organza. The whisper of taffeta. The delicate bead work. Perfection. Kneeling before me as I prepared you for an outing. The look on your face with your eyes closed while I tended to your needs. You made me proud. Two snaps and a whirl!
Jammies that smell of me. Decadent and sultry.
Miss Piggy and your joy at seeing her. It brought me great joy to finally see her in your arms. Such a challenge she was to obtain, but worth every moment of effort and every painstaking step it took to find her.
Photographs and laughter at the party, the music however annoying it was because it masked your voice. Wanting to leave after only a few minutes not wanting to share you with others. My family members approval of you. My Mother in the bathroom tears swimming in her eyes as she spoke with me. Cooling, refreshing walks through the parking lot. Mechanic talk with my brother. Your eyes filling with tears and horror as you saw the look on my face when you without intent squished my little toe beneath your foot. How is it possible that something like that can be a strawberry I ask you... I do not know but I do know that it is indeed a strawberry. I felt beautiful the way your eyes wandered over my body drinking in the visage of me in that dress. As if you were trying to commit it to memory.
Your fingertips tracing lazy nonsensical patterns on my face so feather soft and delicate. A mere whisper of a touch still gives me goosebumps. My head upon your chest listening to the heavy thud of your heart as it beat wildly, The drastic change in its beat as you drifted off into the most peaceful slumber I've ever witnessed. For hours I lay there watching you. Commiting every breath and moment to memory. The dreams that made you whisper in the dark. Your warmth seeping into my chilled body warming me through and through.
Struggling to hold the tears at bay as I knew our time was coming to an end. A few escaped I must admit but they were happy tears this I can assure you. Listening to Vanilla Twilight in the Mountaineer before you drove out of sight. Your window rolled down as you waved one last goodbye for now. Even now that song plays softly in the background as I type this missive for you to read. I invited my best friend to my party and found something more in that. I found you. I found something I treasure and want to wrap in silk and protect. I found something I can not even today explain in words even to myself.
James, Jamie, Jim... The perfect gentleman. My best friend, My hope for more, My anticipation for our next weekend.
Amie Rose a treasure untold so often shunned by others so obviously embraced by me. A delicate butterfly learning how to fly in this cruel world in which we reside. My treasure, My delicate butterfly.
Cold water and hot showers. The sounds of your screams echoing off of the walls amplifying the sound in ways I had not realized possible. Your weight in my arms resting so heavily against me. Your weak knees threatening to collapse had I not been holding you up. Your face buried in my neck trying desperately to muffle the sounds coming from deep within you. Leaving their mark on my delicate skin.
Mellow Mushroom Pizza and Thai Dyed Pizza. What a dance that did in our mouths. The unique flavors blending and melding. The retarded waiter we laughed so hard about.
Petco and replacing the tag on your anklet that I did not think fit you as well as it should have. Not allowing you to read it until it was already in place. The smile on your face when you read it for the first time.
Roses and pumpkin pie. Purple balloons. Butterfly Flower lotion. The look on your face when I asked you for your hands. Baby blue puppy eyes. Your chin propped by your hands so adorably. Your long sleeve black shirt tucked beneath my pillow smelling of you.
I could write for what seems like days and never run out of things to say right now. I've written about so much I know but as you know those were just some of the highlights of our weekend together.
Thank you for simply being you. Thank you for trusting me enough to be able to allow yourself to simply be while with me. I could have stayed in bed cuddling with you the entire time. The entire 30 hours with no regrets.
Here is to an amazing weekend and many more to come.
Blissfully Happy,
Tiara Lily
Hoping everyone else can have a birthday weekend as amazing as mine was.
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This year I am thankful for a miriad of things.
These are the most important ones weighing on my mind this afternoon as I make the final preparations for a feast.
Family * I don't know what I would do without them *
Friends * Ellie even though you will never read this... Thank God for treasures like you... Martian I hope you find what it is this year that you are needing in your life... May God Bless you and your families *
amie rose I can not thank you enough for all the smiles, the laughter, and the joy that comes with just knowing you. To know you is to love you.
May all your days be merry and bright, filled with decadent fattening foods, rich desserts, laughter with friends and family, and a remembrance for those who could not spend the day with us during this time of feasting and thankfulness.
For all the troops overseas missing their loved ones today. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your sacrifice on our behalf. May the mess hall serve something that really does resemble and taste like real food for once. May you get at least one phone call through to a loved one. May you come home safe and sound soon.
Happy Thanksgiving to O/one and A/all
Lily
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Finally slumber came
wrapped in velvet wings
a welcome change from
sleepless nights
mind refusing to
so much as slow down
jarred awake by the phone
slumbers delicate embrace
drifted from sight
hope floods the mind
your words greet sleepy eyes
hopes dashed so insensitively
left with tears for company
yet once more sleep eludes
this night I shall pray
for slumber yet once more.
I am worthy of so much more than a text.
I am reminded of a story that was told to me not so long ago.
The Perfect Heart
This is indeed yet another moment on my journey to obtaining just that. The Perfect Heart. I will leave the wound to heal as it was intended to and go on with life having learned a lesson from this experience.
My strawberry is this...
My anger is like a dog. Bark bark bark bark bark. Five minutes later I am back to licking my balls.
I will remember the tears that fell as I laughed so hard I forgot to breathe.
Yes even you will be my strawberry.
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Female Submissive, 53
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Female Submissive, 40
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Female Submissive, 45, tallahassee, Florida
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Female Submissive, 26, jupiter Island, Florida
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Female Switch, 29
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Female Switch, 35
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Female Submissive, 49, Alamo, California
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Male Dominant, 58, torrance, California
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Female Submissive, 32
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Female Submissive, 35, HK/NY/Phuket
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Female Submissive, 20, canada
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Male Submissive, 29, WORLD OF TIA
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