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Thanks for reading my profile.
Here are some entertaining things you might want to ask about:
1) The time I ended up naked, handcuffed in the back of a police car.
2) The time my sub tried to kill me.
3) My musical talents on the Oboe
4) The time I thought the FBI was investigating me.
BDSM Stuff:
I'm a kinky bastard who loves to give and receive pain. I'm always looking to learn new things, and meet new people. I'm looking for R/L relationships, but would like to pm or chat to get to know people first.
I am a switch. I love to top, but I'm also a Masochist. To satisfy my Masochistic tendencies I like to occasionally bottom or top from the bottom. With most partners I take a Dominant role.
I'm involved in the local BDSM community, and would recommend that anyone who hasn't, try attending a local munch.
If you've got questions, send a message. I'm very open, and willing to share my knowledge and experiences. I've done alot of experimenting. I love building and converting toys. I love learning and teaching.
Non-BDSM Stuff:
I work as an Engineer, and consider myself reasonably successful. But, since I have a very sought after and specific skill set, I like to do volunteer work in unrelated fields. I work manual labor for Habitat for Humanity for instance. And sometimes I steer little children around the zoo.
I've got a wry sense of humor, and like to deliver jokes in a very dry manner. Often my jokes are sarcastic, so I'm usually pretty self deprecating to prove that I'm not being an A-Hole.
I've never fathered a child or been married. Never had unprotected sex, nor do I plan to. I'm in decent physical shape, and I try to work out a few times a week.
For the most part, I live a pretty charmed life. No real complaints.
Basic requirements for Play Partners:
1) Must be fairly local. Say 180 miles or less.
2) Must be discrete.
3) Must be single or in an open relationship.
4) Must be able to negotiate and play in a reasonable and safe fashion.
Basic requirements for a long term partner:
1) Must be employed
2) Must have a post high school education or a trade of some sort
3) Must be emotionally and financially stable.
4) Must be able to meet and make friends.
5) Must be willing to try new things.
6) Must be a similar age. Give or take 5 or so years.
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September 12 TTK Social
Come out and join us for food, Conversation and Community. Ask any questions you like about TTK or BDSM and meet some interesting people.
Single kinksters are invited to come as it will be a good place to meet some people who might share your interests.
There is no formal discussion topic, just a chance to socialize and network.
We will be meeting at 6:30 PM in a restaurant in Wichita. After dinner there will be a private party at a member's home. Directions will be available at the social to those attending the private after party
Please send me a message to RSVP
Exact restaurant information will be sent to you once you RSVP.
Please include in the RSVP: What you want to be called, Your real name (first and Last), Your email address, The full name of any guests you are bringing.
See you soon!
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I signed a contract on a house today. If everything goes well, I will be moving May 1st. The house is 3 bed 2 bath, with a huge basement and a 2 car garage.
Once the inspections are done, I will be looking for a roommate that is kink tolerent. |
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It has come to my attention that there are false claims being made about me being untrustworthy or sowing discord. The claims are either true about someone else, or simply false.
I would encourage anyone interested to ask either myself or those making the claims for details, and judge for themselves the likely accuracy of them. |
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I haven't been posting journal entries recently, so here is a little update. I've been dating a couple girls (one at a time) and having lots of fun. Right now, I'm back to being single and am looking.
I have a delightful friend who is a good playpartner, I would be happy to make other friends of that sort, especially switches or Dommes as all the girls I've played with in a while are pure subs.
I've also started looking for a new job. My current job is great, but I can get quite a bit more money if I move on. Also, its time to make a career move. I'd like to find a place with more room for advancement.
All that being said, I'm keeping my current job while I'm looking, and have been turning down a number of offers because of negative working environment. I'm not leaving my great work environment to go to a disorganized, deadline obsessed, or overly political one. |
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My girlfriend and I just parted ways. Breakups are always hard to do. If you happen to know her, I think she might appreciate a kind word. |
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A couple good munches these last two weeks. First at TTK, we had an outstanding presentation on Flogging. Accompanying the presenter were several people from OKCKink. They were fun and interesting, and it is good to know that group consists of decent people.
Then, there was a WFFM. I had the opportunity to demo with a sensational young lady who had never done a scene before. She turned out to be a complete natural. It is always encouraging to see a beginner thrive in their first time out. |
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I've been contemplating the dichotomy between ways we "act" and ways we "are". For instance, I like to create situations of "punishment" for mistakes made. But since we are kinky and enjoy punishment it is actually a reward.
Here's where the problem is. Some people might see this as a reason to make mistakes, or act disrespectful. I think that we are adult enough to recognize this, and moderate our own behavior, but my partner feels that this sort of play isn't fun or appropriate. That limits reasons to play to "just because" which is fine, it was just something I was thinking about,. |
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I've been innovating to spark my girl's interest in switching. My newest innovation: CBT Yatzee.
The setup:
I picked 11 tools and techniques for cbt play and then I assigned them to numbers 2 - 12 making sure that my favorites were the more common rolls of the dice.
The Game: Roll 2 dice. The combined value on the dice is used to pick the torture. Then the dice are rolled again to pick the number of strokes / length of time the torture will be administered. The game continues until each torture has been administered once.
I ended up taking hundreds of strokes on my balls with the pasta paddle waiting for the ball punches to be rolled. It was a fun game. Playing games like that is something I've also done, but my girl was very impressed, so I thought I'd post it here. |
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I've been seeing the same girl for several months now, and I'm really happy with how things are going.
I had my first majorly failed scene the other day. It involved a tie that I'd done numerous times before on a different sub. I took for granted that it would be safe. A differences in body type and musculature resulted in a dislocated shoulder.
The Lesson: When starting with a new sub, don't assume that even the basics will carry over from the past. |
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I went on a very nice date today. For once a woman exceeded my expectations. So far, it seems as though we have pretty good chemistry, and the only concern I have is that she seems to have dated a series of jerks before me.
Anyways. I'm suspending my search for a partner right now. I'd still like to make friends, and also help connect people to lifestyle groups. |
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It seems like many of the Doms I meet don't understand the full extend of what it means to control a scene, They believe that controlling someone physically is enough. For me, Controlling someone physically is just a tool to assert Dominance over their thoughts and emotions.
When you have a partner that you really connect with, a scene can be a very intimate moment if you understand how to Dom. You don't have to whip someone harder to increase the intensity of the scene. Instead give them a rule. They can't make a fist when you strike them. By engaging them mentally, you raise the intensity and intimacy of the scene.
It isn't about brainwashing or creating an easy to control doormat. Far from it. It is about making a connection, and you can't connect to someone passive.
If you make a good connection, you feel what they feel, and know what they think. That is true Dominance. |
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I tried out a scene as a bottom on Saturday. Well, truth be told, I started out topping from the bottom because the ladies were worried they didn't know what they were doing. But they took control after a while.
It was a fun scene for me, but I had trouble getting into it because I've always been a top before. Also, the fact that there were 4 hands working on me was pretty uncomfortable. Being my first attempt at surrendering control of the scene, I still wanted to know what was going on, and with 2 ladies involved, I kept getter distracted.
I can say with confidence now that I am most definitely not suited to be a pure sub. I'm maybe a little switchy (80% Dom 20% sub) or maybe just a dominant masochist.
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I just celebrated my 26th birthday. I've had the same tradition every birthday since I turned 18. I shot some people. Laser tag this year. Usually its been paintball, and once we just played Halo.
When you have a birthday you think back on previous years of your life. I find that my life has improved each year, because each year I meet some new and interesting people. I wonder who I'll meet this year.
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So I'm back from my 2 week vacation. London is expensive these days. Not a major problem for me, but my sister cringed every time I flashed my credit card. Ireland is a really cool place to visit if you have the time and money. Maybe I'll post some pictures in a couple of days. I've got plenty of stories to tell, but I'm glad to be home. I missed my friends, and I really am quite fond of my current life. Only real problem is I've got a raging kink addiction and no partner to practice with right now. |
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Another day, another play party.
It was a very good time, but I felt acutely aware that I was single. Almost everyone was paired up, and those that weren't, weren't really interested in playing. It would to have some more unattached people at this group's play parties. I was happy that there were alot of younger people this time around.
On a positive note, I had a fun experience experimenting with a tens unit. I've built and used some electrical toys and used to work with tens units in sports medicine. I was kinda disappointed with the lack of versatility of the basic units. I guess I'm ready for something more advanced. Its not that they lack power, I just want to be able to produce many different sensations.
Here's a question for any one that wants to take a shot: Why does it seem like a very large portion of RL players either work in medical fields or work with children? |
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So, another play party another entry. Once again, I had a good time, but I'm still a bit off-put by the public nature of it. When I scene with someone, I like to focus on them, and have them focus on me. When there is someone else doing something you find interesting across the room, it makes that focus harder. I'm pretty sure that play party play will never satisfy me near as much as private play.
If anyone needs info on Wichita Lifestyle groups, you can message me.
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I attended my second ever munch yesterday. Once again, everyone was so much nicer than I expected. I got to learn a bit about needle play, and meet some nice people. If anyone is afraid to attend a lifestyle group, I would suggest that they give it a shot. I'm glad I did.
As I learn more, I'm starting to figure myself out a bit better. My major hurdle is that I have never been topped. I'm worried that playing with someone thats not of a similar age will prevent me from getting all of the expierense out of it that I could. I'm also worried that doing it in front of people could make it difficult, but I can view that as a challenge for the Dom.
I'm sure now that one of the things I like more than anything else is scene D/S play. 24/7 play is not something I'm think about at all right now. I think that I bring alot to the table for someone who wants to have their submission experimented with and tested. I also think that I could give someone with expierience alot of things they hadn't seen before. |
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I attended my first BDSM community munch ever yesterday. I was worried that the community surrounding BDSM would be populated by people that were all seriously damaged, and my last relationship with someone damaged ended catastrophically. I was blown away by how inviting, polite and healthy everyone seemed to be in the local community. They were willing to answer all of my questions, and allay my fears. I hope that I can meet other healthy people that are interested in a BDSM relationship with me. |
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