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Big day! Our new album is almost ready! GapingAnus will be available for download as soon as we're done with the cover art. The lead track, "Armageddon I lit the match" is already trending well! I play lead cowbell as usual. |
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Been busy with my new project. I've finished my book "Sisterhood of the traveling g-string. One g-string, 3 days and 12 hookers. A scratch and sniff adventure." I plan on self publishing on Amazon. |
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Mom hit it big at bingo last week. Tonight she surprised me with a new car! It's an AMC Pacer! I won't have my license for another two weeks but that give me time to trick it out. I'm thinking flames and fuzzy dice. Last but not least, a set of blue truck balls cause bitches like balls! |
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After Duece passed this weekend, I made a good discovery. Mom macromay'd a dog kennel for him a couple years ago and it would make a great slave confinement space if she wasn't too big. Doc said all the diarrhea may have been from to many hot pockets. I
think a paint scraper and a little fabrease will fix it up though. |
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While recovering from my flogger mishap, I perfected my butane powered cow bell. It was a hit with the guys from the band. I think it's the first auto playing cowbell ever.
I really want to attach it to one of my slaves collar but it's still getting too hot. Next step, butane anal pilates. |
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Back from the ER now. My left nostril needed 12 stiches but now I know you need to take the hooks of the ends when your making a bungee flogger. What's worse, one of the falls tore a hole in my wizards hat to! |
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Great weekend. Picked up an old sit and spin at the value village. Put it under the d&d table, tied three bitches to it and made it into a slaveysusan. Just spun it til I had the head girl I wanted. Best d&d game all year! Next time maybe I'll have more than just one fat chick so it will spin easier. |
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More great news! After my recent gummy bear encounter, I've lost a few pounds and may actually be able to have PIV sex again. The little fellow isn't quite there yet but it's really getting close. |
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My recent bout with uncontrollable projectile vomiting and explosive diahria did have a plus side since I'm down a few pounds. No more gummy bears and curry for me! |
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After many hours at a local thrift store, I was able to find the raw material for my Handy Hoe Harness. Now taking applications for a Hoe to model it. Lol. |
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Work is proceeding well on my new invention: the finger saddle. Will need volunteers to help test the final design. |
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Good news for all my pay pig wanna bes! You realize your a worthless slave who can only find satisfaction by surrendering control over ALL of your money and now you have an outlet. You will provide me with schmitty animal beers and hot pockets during my marathon d&d games. You will also support my mom's balooning bingo habit. I will post my amazon wish list at a later date. |
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After doing much research I have determined that a new form of ass training is necessary for all prospective slut slave. I have invented Anal Pilatees.
My new invention was the result of an unfortunate bicycle accident when I was younger and attempted to ride a mountain bike without a seat.
I was contacted just the other day by someone who can help
Me patten my invention which will further secure my financial future. |
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Rules for my slave's:
1. You will be caged when not in service
2. You will be kept naked at all times
3. You will have to ask permission before using the bathroom and agree that I will control all of you bodily functions.
4. You will be required to be available to service me at all times. This means all of your holes will be kept lubed at all times and you will no longer be allowed to have a period. Period.
5. If you are not bi already, you will be forced bi
6. You will sleep with masters cock in your mouth
7. You will be required to wear a corset when cleaning
8. You will be required to provide me and my fellow gamers with treats and snacks and blow jobs during our marathon D&D games.
9. You will be required to eat all of your meals from a dog dish.
10. You will be required to provide my mom with pedacurs. She is 335 pounds and can no longer reach her toes.
11. You may not speak unless spoken to. If I allow you to address me, you will refer to me as Master of My Universe.
12. You will need to brade my ponytail. Its not very long so this shouldn't take to long. You will also be required to shave my back hair as it does get greasy if left to long |
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Getting together with the other guys from the band on Thursday. We're an inxs tribute band. I'll be playing the cow bell as usual. Rock on!!! |
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