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Don't be afraid to message us, we won't bite (hard).
Hello, my name is Bruno. I'm a 32 years old male Dom from Portugal. Most messages are answered by me.
Her name is Ana, she is my 28 years old little girl sub, also from Portugal.
We are a Daddy Dom/little girl couple 24/7. We are here to meet new people, make friends and share experiences.
Some of the vanilla people we know from our daily life knows about our lifestyle, some make judgments, but after some explaining they start to understand.
We at first were only in a vanilla relationship for many years, Then I (Bruno) discovered BDSM and that I'm a natural Dom, after some time, a bit of long time, I told her about my likings. She started searching on google and learning the basics and found out it was the piece missing in her life, being a sub. Afterwards we turned our relation into a D/s relation, but she wanted to try to be a lil girl and develop into a DD/lg relationship, so far it has been great, despite some tantrums she's doing great, but what would be a lil girl without her tantrums??? :D
Overall I believe that we are in the good way.
Respect us and we shall respect you.
You can also find us online:
Bruno:
Kik: BSoares83
Yahoo: b.soares83@yahoo.pt
Skype: b.soares83
Ana:
Kik: AnaMarques86
Skype: misskitty835
Kik download http://www.kik.com
Hope to talk to you all soon. :)
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From Ana:
I don't care about what they think.
Six months. That's how long I've been a sub. I've come a long way since those early days, at least that's what Master says. During the past six months, I never questioned that this is who I am and this is what has been missing in my life. I might have questioned if I was being a good sub to my Master, but He always has put those doubts to rest by assuring me that I have. But one thing I was always sure was that I didn't care what people might think of all this. Maybe a bit unsure, due to the nature of Masters work, but still, if Master didn't care, why should I??
A couple of weeks ago, while talking to a friend about movies, the "Fifty Shades of Grey" movie came up and I told him that the movie didn't represent the lifestyle. Even though it's an ok movie, it doesn't represent the lifestyle, nor the people involved in it, very well. He asked me how did I know that and that's when I told him that W/we are a part of it. He asked me if I wasn't worried that my other friends, or even my family, might find out. My answer? I don't care about what they think.
Keep in mind that here in Portugal, BDSM it's still tabu. What people don't know, usually scares them. And because of that, people who are involved in the lifestyle, have to keep it a secret from family and friends, out of fear of being perceived as freaks.
Honestly, I don't care. It's my life, my body, my mind, my soul, my choice to be a devoted sub to a great Master, 24/7. I'm still me, I'm still the girl they knew, I just have a different relationship.
This is who I am. You can either accept me for who I am or lose me as your friend. Either way, I'm not gonna change who I am just because you don't like my choices.
I am who I am and I don't care about what they think.
XOXO,
Ana. |
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From Ana:
What did I get into??? Half Marathon Part II.
I did it!!!! I completed my first Half Marathon!!!!!
Ok, so, not exactly half. This is how it worked:
Within the Half Marathon, there's this other marathon that we call Mini. And is for people who either are doing this for the first time or just can't do the whole Half Marathon thing.
The Half Marathon is 22km, meanwhile the Mini is only 7,5km. You can see the diference.
Anyway, for me, even if it was just 7,5km and even though I walked, it was a big deal. I'm not the atletic type, only recently joined a gym, so to be able to do even a Mini Marathon, it's huge.
It was quite the experience and I can't wait for next year to do it again. What I'm not looking forward are the body ackes and the freaking blisters on my feet. Other than that, it was great. Made new friends, got to walk across our most iconic bridge and just enjoyed every second of the way.
I managed to do it in an hour and a half, which for someone like me is pretty good. I kept my pace, with the help of some selected music and some other walkers who encouraged me to keep going when I started to slow down, and I finish it with out having to call the paramedics to rescue me of my agony.
One last, but very important thing: I need to thank Master.
Even though He was at work and couldn't exactly know where or how I was doing, He kept texting me with words of encouragement, that kept me going the whole way. The look of proud on His face when I finally got home, was way more rewarding then the medal they gave me for crossing the finish line. That look on His face was all the prize I need.
That's it. Now I have to go lay down 'cause my body is really angry with me.
Xoxo,
Ana. :) |
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From Ana:
Confessions of a brand new sub XVI:
For quite some time now I've known that Master wanted to have a second sub/slave/sissy. And I was ok with it, as long as it wouldn't be another woman (I blame the insecurities I have and that are hard to overcome).
In recent months, we tried to have a couple of male slaves, but they turned out to be quite disapointing. Either there was no connection between us, or they would try to take my place as alpha sub, or just vanish and then come back with some bullshit excuse.
But for the past week, things have been diferent. We met this sissy named Paula through Collarspace and after a few messages between her and Master, she asked if she could ask me a question.
Now, for those of you who haven't read my previous posts, this is something no one who tried to or that we aproached to become Master's new slave/sissy/sub, ever did. They all focus only on Master, but they forget that He already has a sub, so for her to do that, was pretty important to me.
After the three of us chatted for a while over at Skype, the three of us decided to give it a try. It's been a week now, and even though she's shy, she came a long way during this week. For now, we're only doing it online, even though we live in the same country, but who knows what the future brings?? One thing is certain, I can't wait to met her in person. She's my sister sub and to be honest, I couldn't ask for a better one. :)
Xoxo,
Ana :) |
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From Ana:
What am I getting into??? Half Marathon.
So, this year, as part of my resolution to try new things, I decided that I was going to run the half/mini marathon. I never did it, so I don't know what the hell I'm getting myself into. To be completly honest, I'm terrified.
Luckly, I have Master's support. He can't go with me because of work, but He trusts that I can do it. Let's hope He's right.
The marathon is tomorrow. So, if anyone has any last minute advice, I'll be more that happy to hear them.
Wish me luck. :)
Xoxo,
Ana :) |
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From Ana:
Loneliness
Sometimes I feel lonely, even with Master around. It's strange that I feel this way, because Master gives me plenty of attention. But sometimes, Masters attention isn't enough.
Sometimes you need someone, other than your Master, to talk to and I don't have that. Here in Portugal, BDSM it's still a tabu and because of that, you don't have a lot of people who is willing to talk about it. In our circle of friends, there's only one person that knows we are part of this beautiful world and it's an old friend of Master and he is vanilla. Which leaves me alone when it comes to friends I can talk to about this.
Then you have the wannabe slaves and sissies, that only talk to Master and don't give you the time of day, that only talk to you if Master tells them to. Well, you're not going to talk to someone because they were told to talk to you. At least, I'm not.
Which leads me back to the beginning of this text. You end up feeling pretty lonely when you have no one to talk to. My only outlet? My journal. And even that depends on my mood and my inspiration. Don't think I'm an attention seeker. I'm not. I just feel lonely.
Loneliness. It sucks. It can kill you, slowly and without any one noticing or any warning. It's awful. But there's a way out. If you think someone may not have a lot of people to talk to about this, just reach out. If you're a sissy or a slave trying to have a Master that already has a sub, reach out to her/him. She/Him will appreciate it. Trust me.
Xoxo
Ana |
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From Ana:
What if? (Disney Edition) :)
Ok, so, sometimes I feel this need to go back to my childhood and listen to Disney songs or even watch the movies.
So, here I am, listening to the songs that made me dream of that fairytale stories and I started to think:
What if the Disney princesses, princes and sidekicks, were part of our amazing world?
Can you imagine Cinderella getting gagged and tied up by Prince Charming?
Or Belle all in leather, walking around in her little town, with Beast by a leash and collar?
Or even, Pocahontas getting spanked by John Smith?
The possibilities are endless. It's all about imagination.
Let me know what you think the princesses, princes or sidekicks, would be up to in our world. :) |
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From Bruno:
Hello all
One thing I don't get, I've seen several profiles here on cs and about 70% of them, don't use their own face photo. Some are afraid of getting recognised by relatives, friends or co-workers. Well, I ask. What the fuck are you afraid of? I have a job where I deal with general public, everybody besides knowing me they know my sub wife, and any of them can eventually see us here or on the web on other sites where we talk about BDSM and we don't give a fuck. No one has the right to judge us and our way of living, seems that you are all in the 80's and are gay and can't come out about it.
For all of you, Dominants and subs I say this, grow a pair and be true to yourself. If you are afraid that someone may find out, then you are ashamed of the life style and shouldn't even be here. |
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From Ana:
The Dancing Ugly Duckling
What's beauty? It's the models that walk the runway? It's the tipical girl next door? Are the girls that starve themselfs, just so they can look like the skinny singers or actresses that fill the magazines and tv shows? My grandmother used to say ''Beauty is in the eye of the beholder'' and it's so true.
You don't have to look like those people to be beautiful, as long as you love yourself, you'll always be beautiful, despite of how you look.
Beauty comes from the inside (I know, cliché but so true). If you love yourself, and are comfortable in your own skyn, than your beautiful.
I never felt beautiful or even worthy of being called pretty, I always struggled with my weight and, because of that, I was always the ugly duckling. I still feel that way sometimes, but a few weeks ago things changed. You'd expect that change would come because of my Master, but actually it wasn't.
When Master tells me I look pretty or that I look beautiful, the little devil on my shoulder immediatly says that He only says that because He has to, since He's my Master. Stupid, I know. But what can I do, after years of being told that I'm too fat or not pretty enough??
About two weeks ago, I was in the locker room at my gym, which is an ''only women'' kinda gym, after a very demanding Zumba class, when one of the ladys that does the class with me tells me that, everytime we have class together, she's always following me as well as the instructor, because she thinks that I'm very good at it.
Now, it's true that I have some dancing background, but that was back when I was younger and a lot thinner, compared to were I am now. I always loved to dance, and it would be when I'd be dancing that I would feel beautiful, because I would be doing something that I love.
So, there I was, in my exercise pants and an old shirt, sweaty as hell, my hair in a mess, and this lady saying that she was learning most of the steps from me. Me, an overweight, self deprecating, self conscious girl who is always trying to disappear in the crowd.
She made me feel like I've haven't felt in years. She saw something in me that I haven't in years. That made me think, if this lady can see the dancer in me, the confident girl I once was, then why can't I ??
That day I decided that I would try and see myself through her and my Masters eyes. Try to see that confident, dancing lover, little girl I was once. It's going to be hard, bad habits die hard, but if I can remember that little girl, even if it's just for an hour or two, then I know I'll be ok. :)
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From Ana:
Hi everyone.
This is going to be the most personal post I have written so far.
As you all know, from previous posts, I suffer of Depression. So this post will be dedicated to all of you who suffer or knows someone who suffers of Depression.
I was always a happy-go-lucky kind of girl. I would make friends very easily and would always have a smile on my face. I was the kind of girl who liked who I was and was happy with that. But a few years ago, everything changed.
I was already with Master, even though we were in a vannilla relationship, when He moved in with me and my mother. I was 20 at the time, working as a security officer and so was Master. Soon after that, we decided that it was time we get our own house. Now, the idea was to get a house for the 3 of us, because my mother wasn't working at the time with the excuse that she had a heart condition. Bullshit, she didn't.
After we talked to her and told her what we were planing, things changed. She became beligerant and agressive towards me. She would insult me and acuse me of all sorts of things, from being a whore to not working hours enough to have enough money for her vices. Things went on like this for 2 months, until one night when she beat me up and I had to flee the house if I wanted to live. I never hit her back, after all she was still my mother. I even had to file a police report, that's how bad it got.
Fast forward a few years, I was already living with Master when the first signs of Depression kicked in. And as stupid as may sound, it was all trigged by the job I had at the time. By then, I had already left security and, since jobs were very hard to find here, I started to work as a cleaning lady, the same job my mother had. And was exactly that comparison that trigged everything. I started to feel that I was becoming my mother and that was something that I hated with every fiber of my being. I was so afraid of becoming her, that I started sleepwalking, one of the first signs of depression acording to my doctor, and trying to cut my wrists while doing it. I was lucky enough that Master was always vigilant with me and stopped me every time, otherwise I don't think I would be here talking to you all.
After that, everything went down hill. I started pushing away everyone around me, including Master. I quit my job and every job I would get, I would be miserable in it. I thought of suicide a few times, but never went through with it. Add the memories of being bullied in my younger days to all of this, and you have a recipe for disaster.
I manage to learned to live with Depression, with the help of Master and a truckload of pills, for a few years. But then, the most important person of my life died. My grandfather. He was the one who raised me, he was like my father, so when he died, it was like I had died with him. Which meant that I went down that spiral again. I wouldn't eat properly, I quit my job, I would spent my days in bed not doing anything. Until one day, Master said it was enough. He basically forced me to live life again and I am forever grateful to Him for that.
I have been in a good place for the last few years now, with the occasional relapse, but still in a good place.
When we first started our new relationship, I feared that my Depression would be a handicap, a flaw, but Master has always made me feel safe and secure.
Now, I'm writting this post because, for the first time in years, I feel I'm going down that rabbit hole again. For as much as I try to figure out why, I don't know why I'm feeling this way. The only thing I know is that it's been a long time since I feelt like this. And it sucks!! I feel like I'm in a very crowded room, and I'm screaming at the top of my lungs and nobody hears me. I can be with ten people around me and still feel alone. And it hurts. And I'm afraid that all of this has a negative impact on my relationship with Master, even though He knows.
So, if you are battling with Depression, don't worry, you're not alone. It will get better, trust me. There will be days where you'll just want to send everything to hell and give up, but there will also be days where you'll be able to see the beauty of the most littlest of things. And those are the days you'll have to hang on to. Another thing, trust your family and friends, rely on them to help you get through it. It will make a world of difference, other than trying to face it alone. Trust me.
If you know someone who is battling, then just be there for them. Even if is just to hear them out. It will make a diference, believe me. Sometimes, all we want is for someone to hear us, to let us cry and tell us that everything is going to be ok, without judging us or telling us that is nothing. Depression IS something that we have to live with everyday, and the last thing we need is for someone to tell us that is just a fase and that will pass. That's the worst thing you can do. Just be there for them. They will apreciate it.
So, that's it. Sorry for the dark post, but I needed to put this in writing.
As always, if you have any questions, feel free to ask.
Stay safe, love one another and good spankings. :) |
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From Ana:
Hi everyone!!
I know I haven't been here for a while but a lot is happening right now and I just couldn't find the time. Sorry, but between finding a new house, going to the gym and doing my usual tasks, I just didn't had the time to come and tell you guys and gals what's been going on with us. :(
But here is the long story short: ;)
Master decided that it was time we moved to a bigger, and more long term, house. It's been a crazy last couple of weeks of looking for houses and visiting them. We ended up going with a 4 bedroom, 2 bathroom house, which is perfect for us since we are trying to start a family. :)
Gym is going. Honestly, I'm not going as much as I would like because of the house hunt, but I'll make it up after the madness is done. I did, however, manage to go to an amazing burlesque workshop that they did and I have to tell you it was amazing. You end up feeling so sensual and beautiful, that is incredible. And I also learned a few new tricks that I can't wait to show Master and maybe, you'll get a little peek. :P
As for our play sessions, they've been amazing as usual. Not so often as we might liked, again because of the madness, but still amazing. We even tryed a couple of new positions and let me tell you, I went to Pluto and back. :) (The Moon is just to close.)
That's it. That's what we've been up to since the last time we talked.
Feel free to ask any questions.
Stay safe and good spankings. :) |
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From Ana:
Hi everybody!
So, this post is a bit diferent. I'm looking for a Domme or a Dom/Domme couple for a friend of O/ours.
He's new to the lifestyle, so he reached out to me and Master for help.
Here is some of his info:
Male slave, 29yo, bisexual.
Hard limits: Blood, Scat and Permanent Damage.
Profile link: http://www.collarspace.com/personals/v/2103895/details.htm
If you want more info, feel free to ask U/us. We promise to answer all your questions as soon as possible.
Stay safe and good spankings. :) |
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From Ana:
Ok, so, I gotta vent a little.
How is it possible that some people say that they are your friends, that all they want is for you to be happy, but then go around and make everything they can to make you feel guilty for pursuing that very happiness???
While Master and I were separated, I stayed at a friends house. Now, I wasn't there for free. I'm on disability, due to a work related injury, and every month I would give that person my entire disability money, because I knew it wasn't easy for them to add another person to an, already, big family. So, since now I realize I was a sucker, I would helped them this way. And keep in mind, this was someone I thought was like a sister or even a mother to me, since this friend is much older than me. I even went to the extent to ask Master if He could lend us some money. That's how much of a sucker I was.
After a while of living there, Master and I started to patch our relationship, in ways I already mention in previous posts. In the beggining, she was very suportive, even though she's vannilla and didn't know what kind of new relatioship we were starting, but would always put her two cents in everything, like if Master would invite me to have lunch with Him and I would go, when I came back from it, I would hear her saying that it's all very nice that we are patching things up, but to not get my hopes up because things aren't always that nice and neat. And things like that.
Things got to a point where, the only time I felt like I could be myself and that I wouldn't be depressed, would be when I was with Master. Yes, I started to go down the rabbit hole of depression while living there. Every night, after going to bed to try and get some sleep, I would cry, thinking of ways to try and spent the least amount of time possible in that house. That's how bad it was. I even got a lecture about spending two nights at Master's house, after we began dating again.
The day I left, she had the nerve to tell me that, if I would move back in with Master and if I left her house, our friendship would be over. That I disapointed her and because of that, she didn't want to have anything to do with me.
Now, I'm the kind of person that gives her heart fully to my friends. They have my heart, my loyalty and my friendship, no matter what. And that's why it hurts so much when someone, pretty much, stomps on your heart and tells you that everything bad that life has trown at you, is your fault.
I'm sorry for the rant, but I needed to get this out of my chest.
I promise that the next post won't be so dark. :)
As always, good spankings. |
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From Ana:
I misbehaved. I failled Master. Now, I have to face the consequences.
Last night, Master and I were supposed to play a scene, but I got drunk, even though Master told me not to drink too much. I got so drunk that I even felt sick because of it. I usually can hold my liquor pretty well, but last night I didn't.
Today, Master talked to me about last night and said that I would be punished for not listen to Him when He told me not to drink too much. I asked what the punishment was going to be. He said that He would give me a choice, since the transgression wasn't all that serious to requier a harder punishment. The choices were, either get spanked with a belt on my ass, or give Him a back massage. Guess which one I chose? :)
But that wasn't all. Also as part of my punishment, I had to tell you all what I did and what the punishment was going to be. That's why I'm posting this. As you see, even the best behaved subs, get punished every once in a while.
I just got my first part of my punishment done and this is the second. After this, Master and I, are going to play the scene we didn't play yesterday. Let's hope Master won't go too hard on me. :)
That's it. Next time, I'll tell you how it went. :)
Any questions, don't be shy, just ask. :)
Good spankings. :) |
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From Ana:
In my last post, I said that I would tell you what we tried so far. Just keep in mind that, it's only been a month since we moved back in together, that I'm new to this, that we only see each other at night and that we share the house with a vannilla. :)
So, the other day, we decided to try rape play with a bit of roleplay mixed in it. Just so you know, it's not easy to do rape play in Portugal. As soon as someone notices that you've been taken, even if is just a suspicion, they will call the cops. Because of that, this is what we did:
Master pretended that He was a thieve that didn't know that I was home. Once He realized I was, He grabbed me and pushed me to the bedroom, shoving me into the bed and forcing me to stay there. He then proceed to handcuff me and forced me to suck His cock. After a while, He decided to fuck my pussy with His tongue and He made me cum so many times, all of them with His permission of course. After He was done with licking my pussy, He decided it was time to put His big, thick cock inside of me. And let me tell you, it never felt so good. Even though I fought every step of the way, when He put His cock inside of me hard, the only thing I could think was ''I want more and harder''. After a while, where He fucked me in every possible way, we came together and it was amazing.
Now, I know that some of you might judge me but you know what? I don't care. I loved it and I would do it again in a heart beat. I don't care if it's not political correct, but the truth is that, we aren't political correct.
That day was the most amazing day I had so far and I would love to do it again. (I actually ask Master to do it again and He said yes. :) )
And that's it. Next time, I'll tell you what else we've been trying. :)
As always, if you have any questions, just ask. :)
Good spankings. :) |
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From Ana:
It's been a while since the last time I was here, and I'm sorry for that, but there's just so many things going on that I just didn't knew what to write. So, let me tell you about this past few days.
First, some of you might have notice that one of my posts got deleted. It was me who deleted it. For those of you who don't know, untill a few days ago we had a online slave. We don't anymore. Why? Because my training was being put aside because of it. Long story short, Master was paying more attention to the new slave's training than He was on mine. I told that to Master and He realized that, in fact, He was doing that, so we let go of the slave. It was something necessary, because my training was being neglected.
Second, and this one is from the vannilla side, I join a gym. Yes, me. The girl who always said that would never join one, actually did. A few weeks ago a friend of mine invited me to try a Zumba class. Since I love dancing and music, and Zumba has both, I thought it would be a cool idea. And since my doctor has been telling me that I need too lose some weight, I thought that maybe I could try one class and if I like it, I'll sign up for a few more. Well, I ended up enrolling for 6 months with a all access pass to the gym. Which means that I can take all the classes they have and exercise in all the machines. :)
Third, Master and I have been having some alone time. We have been exploring a little more. Well, at least, I have been exploring. Since it's only been a month since we moved in together again, there's a lot of things that I'm yet to try. So far we tried a couple of things, but there's so much more that I wanna try. On my next post I'll tell you one that I, particulary, loved. Just, don't judge. (blushes) :)
That's pretty much it.
As always, any questions you may have, just ask. :)
Good spankings. :) |
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From Ana:
Today I'm gonna talk a little about our experience in public play.
The public play that we do is doing it in a public place and have that risk of being caught. More than anything else, that turns me on more than I would ever imagine. The danger of being caught and the adrenalin that comes from it, it's out of this world.
Let me tell you something that happen to us reggarding this:
Years ago, back when we were still a vannilla couple and were only dating, my Master and I were going for walk when we reached this factory by the river and that had this long, huge pipes going into the river. Between the pipes there was enough room for us to walk and to sit down comfortably. So, we decided to do just that. We went down there and sat down. Of course that, by then, we were already horny as hell, so when he sat down, I sat on His lap. Luckly, I was wearing a long skirt that was perfect for covering, not only what we were doing but also, my entire lap so no one would realize what was happening. It was the best afternoon I ever had. The rush of having sex in a public place that has a lot of foot trafic and the adrenalin of having that risk of being caught, was amazing. We did it a couple of times and I have to said, the more we did it, the more I wanted it.
Now, I have to be honest. I wasn't exactly all on board with the idea in the beggining, I was even a little afraid, that's how vannilla I was, but after we did it, I never felt better. I went home that day with the stupidest grin on my face ever. That's how much I enjoyed it. :)
As for the other side of public play, we never tryed it but I'm up for new experiences. Who knows, maybe I even enjoy it. But one thing is for certain, you'll never know if you like something or not, untill you try it. :)
If you have any questions, either for me or my Master, feel free to ask. :)
Good spankings. :) :) |
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From Ana:
After talking to a friend, I realized that I haven't said anything about my punishments. So here goes.
According to my Master, I've been a very well behaved sub. But that doesn't mean that I haven't misbehaved.
Recently, I forgot my place and talked back to my Master. That got me a few whippings from Master with my leash. But, what was supposed to be a punishment, turn out to me a pleasure cruise. Now, I'm not saying that it didn't hurt a bit, 'cause it did, but it turned me on even more. I'm guessing Master will have to find another way to punish me. :)
Apart from that one time, I haven't been punished. Either Master is going easy on me because I'm new or I've been a very good sub. :)
Master said to our friend that it's true, I've been really good. So, if Master says so, it's because it's true. :)
Any questions, feel free to ask.
Good spankings. :) |
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From Bruno: == Results from http://bdsmtest.org/ == 100% Degradation giver 100% Dominant 100% Master/Mistress 100% Bondage giver 100% Sadist 92% Pervert 90% Fetishist 78% Experimentalist 68% Multiplayer 20% Vanilla 18% Switch 15% Masochist 15% Slave 7% Bondage receiver 2% All-rounder 2% Degradation receiver 2% Submissive See my results online at http://bdsmtest.org/result.?id=8104 |
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From Ana:
As I sit in our bed listening to music and with Master by my side, I started to think of how things have changed in all of this years that we've known each other. And then I remember, I never told you how everything started. So, get ready for a really long post, because you're about to know our past. The good, the bad and the ugly.
We've known each other since we were kids, I was 6yo and Master was 10yo. His mother worked with my grandmother in a grocery store at a camping park. So, obviously, we grew up together until he was 14yo and his parents decide to stop going there for a while. It took 6 years until we saw each other again. By then, Master was 18yo and I was 14, turning 15 in a couple of months, and after a 2 days awkward reunion, we started dating.
We had been together for 3 years, when we had our first breakup. Yes, first. Do to a medling mother on my side, we broke up only to be together again after 5 months. All do to a very drunk New Year's Eve, where we got together to talk and ended up having sex for 4 hours. Yes, that's right, 4 hours. Whiskey has that amazing effect on my Master, without it He can only go for 3 and a half hours. I'm a very lucky sub. :)
Things were going well, with the normal ups and downs of a relationship. We moved in together and we were doing good. Or so I thought.
We were living together for a few years now and, like so many couples, we were in a rut. I would come home tired and I wouldn't pay attention to Him and I started to feel that the only time He would come find me was when He wanted to have sex. So we weren't in the best shape possible. That's when He cheated. With a girl that was working with me, allthough in a diferent department. It turns out that she too had a boyfriend and that he didn't know anything about it either, but he was smarter than me. He found out and that forced Master to tell me the truth.
The next couple of years were very hard for me, because I thought I could never trust him the way I once did. But, with time and with effort from both parts, we got better.
Fast forward a few years and you'll get to the year 2010. The year when everything changed.
It was in 2010 that Master discover BDSM through a social network. That changed everything. He became more detached, like he didn't care about us anymore. But that detachedment was only because He thought that I wouldn't be into the lifestyle. And that was the beggining of the end. We stayed together until November of last year (2014). That's when He told me that we couldn't go on like this, because He was into BDSM and that He thought that I wouldn't be into it, like I mention before. The rest, you already know from my previous posts on how I got into the lifestyle.
And that's all. If you got any questions, just ask. Either Master or I will be more than happy to answer them. :) |
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From Ana:
It's been a while since the last time I wrote something here, but beetwen Christmas and New Year's Eve, a lot has happen and I couldn't find the time to come and say hi. So, I decided that I would tell you a little more about our vannilla life, that way you can see that you can have the best of both worlds. :)
So first things first, Christmas:
Christmas came and went without much to speak of. The only thing that is worth mentioning is that Master and I spent Christmas day in a very vannilla kind of way. We went for a very nice walk and talked about the news I'll be sharing later on this post. :)
New Year's Eve:
As for the New Year's Eve, we went to see the fireworks together. It was a lot of fun and we got to be together at the stroke of midnight. :)
Now for the news:
As you all know, Master and I live in separate houses. Well, we used to. That's right, since January 1st that we live together again. And I couldn't be happier. :)
And that's it. I will keep you posted not only on our bdsm life but on our vannilla life as well. :)
See you soon,
ana :) |
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From Ana:
Things I've learned: (part 9)
- Collars:
First thing that comes to your mind when I say collars is dog collars, right? You're half right.
Yes, you can use a dog collar, but a collar isn't necessary something like that. It can be a lot of things, it can be almost anything you and your Master want.
For example, I've only been in the lifestyle for a couple of months, so my everyday use collar is as simple as a wallpaper on my cellphone. That way, others in the lifestyle know I'm taken but the others won't know what it is, other than it's a cool image. When we find the perfect collar for everyday use, then I will wear it no matter what. Only recently we adquire one that is for in house use and I love it.
So you see, it can be anything, an image that is related to the lifestyle, a ring, a necklace, a tattoo, anything, that you and your Master want. :)
See you soon,
Ana :) |
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From Ana:
On my last post, I said that I would post some guidelines that I found very useful and that, I hope, would be very helpful and useful to you too. Here they are. :)
Guidelines:
- I will always be honest and respectful to Master. Even when I think he's wrong, I will be respectful in my tone, actions and mannerisms. I am, however, allowed to be bratty in my toughts so long as they don't turn into actions that would disrespect Master.
- I am always in submission to Master whether He is present or not, ready to please Him at any time, in any place, under any circumstances. The oportunity to submit and to please is by far more important and satisfying than any other pursuit.
- I will wear the collar Master gave with pride, for it signifies his ownership of me and my devotion to him, This is a symbol of His permanence in my life and my dedication to Him.
- I am allowed to make friends with whomever I choose, so long as that friendship is not toxic. If my friendship with someone changes my behaviors, mannerisms, other relationships for the worse, then Master may tell me to either limit my time with that person, or cut them out altogether.
- I trust Master. I trust his skill, his concern for my safety, my emotional, psychological, social, sexual and physical health. If at any point I find that I do not trust Master in all of these areas, I am to bring my concerns to him. This relationship is built on honesty and trust and if one of those things fails, the entire relationship is at risk of failure.
- Crying and the shedding of tears is not a sign of weakness. My tears soften my will and bond me closer to Master. I am not to hide in shame when I cry.
- I will, periodically, examine my whole life and look for how it has changed as a result of my relationship to my Master. I will speak to my Master about those areas where there have been improvements and those areas where I feel comfortable, insecure, or unsure of what direction I should take, how I should behave, or how I can behave in a manner that is different than how I have being in the past.
- I will obey the spirit of the law, not just the letter of the law. ( For example, if Master says not to run with scissors, I will not attempt to skip with them either. )
There you go, some guidelines to help you out. I know they helped me out a lot. Any questions, feel free to ask me or my Master.
See you soon,
Ana :) |
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From Ana:
So, on my last post I said that I would post here the set of rules that my Master and I have, so you could get to understand a little of what you need to have and maybe, even, get some inspiration for your own set of rules. Ok, here we go. :)
Rules:
- General:
- I must always give thanks to Master for all I am given, immediately after receiving what he has given me. This includes gifts, privileges and punishments.
- I will confess any transgressions I may have made to Master and he will decide if such violations require punishment. I must accept whatever decision he makes and thank him for his choice.
- I will always listen with interest in whatever my Master has to say during my training. I want to learn all that I can from Him so I can understand more about Him, about me, about the BDSM scene and comunity, and those involved in BDSM relationships, so I may be able to better understand the world I am appart of and be able to comunicate it accurately to anyone who wishes to know more about it. When I find myself bored with whatever topic Master is discussing, I may speak up, but I understand that this means I might be given a longer lecture so that I can better understand what Master is talking about.
- My health is important to Master. I am to make regular doctor and dentist appointments to ensure that we stay in the best health possible.
- I have to write at least 3 new entries a week, on my journal on collarspace.com. Masters orders. :)
- I will not have any other Master, the same way Master will not have any other sub.
- At least once a month, Master and I will sit down and discuss how the relationship is, what we can improve, if we need to add or remove rules, and everything else that we can think of, that way the lines of comunication will always be open.
- I will only call him Master in the privacy of the house or the chat. In public or in front of vannilla friends/family, will be the normal and vannilla nicknames.
- Whatever questions or doubts that may occour during my training, I am allowed to speak up and ask. Even if it means having to talk about previous subs.
- I will always be honest and truthfull to Master, the same way Master will always be honest and truthfull to me.
- During the time we don't live under the same roof, outings with the vannilla family have priority over outings with Master, but that can only happen twice a week.
- I will always be out of bed and dressed by 9h30am everyday, unless Master says otherwise.
- I will not curse. Masters orders. (with some exceptions, like when we are in bed.)
- Sex:
- To receive pleasure, I must earn it. I am not allowed to pleasure myself or cum, in any circumstances, without Masters permission.
- When Master instructs me to suck his cock, I will do so vigorously for as long as he requires me to do so, without complaint.
- I am to keep my pussy shaved or waxed for Master. I am permitted to leave a landing strip, or have my hair waxed into the shape of a heart or whatever design tickles my fancy, but I must keep it trim and neat looking at all times. I do not have to shave and should not get waxed when on my monthly.
- I may, at any time, offer my body to Master in hope that he will take pleasure in using it however he wishes.
- Master will always have the last decision regarding my clothes, and what I choose to wear.
That's it. Those are all the rules we have. Any questions, feel free to ask.
On my next post, I will post some guidelines that were very useful to me and I bet they will be to you too.
Ana :) |
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From Ana:
Things I've learned: (part 8)
- Contract or rules:
You've probably been question what I meen when I say that you should agree on a contract or that you need some ground rules.
It's pretty simple, actually.
It's a set of rules that you and your Dom must follow for as long as your relationship lasts. These rules are what will keep you safe and secure in your relationship, the dos and don'ts, the things he wants you to do and the things you don't feel comfortable or don't wanna do.
Keep in mind that, the rules you make now, may not be the same down the line. As all relationships evolve, so does yours. That said, rules that now make total sense, in a year or two won't. As your relationship changes, so will your rules. And that's a good thing, it means that you're not in a rutt. It means that, for example, there were things you wouldn't do but now you would. Or rules that are already old dated to were you are now.
For example, my Master doesn't like when I curse, so we made a rule that, everytime I curse, I get punished. In time, eventually, I'll stop cursing, which will make that rule obsolete. That's when we will get rid of that one.
In a future post, I'll put our rules here so you can have an idea and, maybe even, some inspiration.
Just make sure you agree with all of them, and if there's one you don't agree, try a compromise. It worked for me. :)
To be continued...
Ana :) |
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From Ana:
Things I've learned: (part 7)
- Subspace and subdrop and the importance of cuddling:
Ok, what is subspace and subdrop?
This is my explanation: subspace is when you're so into the scene you're doing, that everything around you just disappears and all you feel is the moment. Nothing else matters other than you and your Dom and the scene you're in.
Subdrop is, just like the name implies, the drop. The aftermath, when you have to get back to reality and the adrenaline of the scene drops.
It's then, in the aftermath, that cudling is important. Because it will make you feel a lot better and it will prevent you from going down a rabbit hole of depression that can last for days, if not even weeks.
For example, I have a medical history of depression and if my Dom wouldn't cuddle me after the scenes we do, I would probably go down that rabbit hole again. Thankfully, he does cuddly me. :)
But the cuddles aren't just for us subs, it's good for our Doms as well. It makes them have that sense of protection over us and the sense of acomplishment over a good scene.
So, as you see, cuddles are good for everyone. ;)
To be continued...
Ana :) |
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From Ana:
Things I've learned: (part 6)
- Always be honest:
You always have to be honest with your Dom. It's the only way he's gonna know if something needs to change in order to make you feel more safe and secure.
He's not a mind reader, so there's no way he's gonna know if there's something that you two do that hurts you or makes you feel uncomfortable. You have to tell him so he can help you. Honesty is the best policy. Believe me.
Take a day just to talk to each other about what doesn't feels right to you, your concerns about certain things or just to analize the progress of your relationship. You'll end up stronger than before.
To be continued...
Ana :) |
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From Ana:
Things I've learned: (part 5)
- Your relationship with your Dom is the priority:
Ok, I know this is a given, but there are some exceptions.
For example, if you have children, either together or just your own, that takes precedent over your relationship with your Dom.
Another example, my relationship with my Dom is a bit diferent than usual. We live in separate houses, so we made a rule that outings, and other things, with our vannilla families take precedent over ours, but only two times a week.
It's all about compromise and doing what's best and what feels right for your relationship.
To be continued...
Ana :) |
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From Ana:
Things I've learned: (part 4)
- You can be vannilla and become a sub:
Ok, let me explain this a little better. I used to be a pretty vannilla kind of girl, but ever since I discover the wonderfull world of BDSM, I became a sub. How? By assuming my desires, fantasies and secret wishes, and with lots of research and conversations with my Dom and other subs. And anyone can do the same, with the help of a good Dom, research and with some helpfull subs.
Plus, it doesn't matter if you're new to this as I am or if you've been doing this your whole life, there's a lot still to learn. It might get confusing, and that's when you should talk to your Dom. He, better than anyone, will help you through the confusion and guide you to the answers that are the best for your arrangement.
To be continued...
Ana :) |
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From Ana:
Things I've learned: (part 3)
- The sub has a voice:
Yes, you do. As a sub myself, in the beggining I tought I didn't have a choice but to do as my Dom said, but after talking to him, I realized that I do have a voice and a saying in this relationship. You're allowed to speak up in order to make sure that you're in a safe relationship. You need to make sure you have a contract before you get into this kind of relationship so you'll be protected. (More on this later. :) )
As for the Dom, it's his job to protect you and make sure that you're safe in every way possible. You need to have a good Dom, to make sure that you have the right training and you have to be aware of guys who pass of as good Doms but end up to be abusive pricks.
I read recently a blog post from another sub that pretty much defines what the good Dom should be and believe me when I say that it helps a lot. Here's the link:
http://servingmaster.com/2012/11/21/the-good-dom/
She also has a blog post called ''The Good Sub'', if you're interested. :)
To be continued...
Ana :) |
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From Ana:
Things I've learned: (part 2)
- Each Dom/sub relationship is unique:
What I mean is that, in each relationship you can find elements of Master/slave, Top/bottom, among others. You can't say you're exclusively Dom/sub, when you have elements of other types of relationships mixed in it. For example, I'm in a Dom/sub relationship but we like to mix it up a bit with things that you find in Master/slave relationships. (I promise I give details later on. ;) )
It all depends on what you and your Dom have decided before hand. And it's not all about the sex. Going out as a couple, or just have a quiet night in just the two of you, will be a great way to get to know each other better.
There has to be a balance between the physical and the psichological part of the relationship. You need to know that you're safe both physically and mentally, so you can give all of you.
It's important to remember that, it doesn't matter what kind of relationship you have, as long as you're safe and secure in it and is CONSENSUAL, just have fun and be crazy. :)
To be continued...
Ana :) |
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From Ana:
Things I've learned:
- The diference between Dom/sub and Master/slave:
This is how I see it, as a sub I make the choice to submit, the choice to say '' Here I am, I have my limitations and I'm willing to try and overcome them with you. But if at any point I don't wanna try or do something, I have the right to tell you no, as long as I give you a reason and maybe even try to overcome that, either is a fear or discomfort but if even then I don't wanna do it, you'll still accept me as I am. I am yours and nobody else. ''
As a slave, not so much. Whatever the Master tells you to do, you have to do, no questions asked. Even if it means being sold to another Master. (As long as, is in the contract you both agreed in the beggining of you relationship as Master/slave.) But, even then, you still make the choice to submit.
I'm a sub, a very new sub, but from the very beggining I chose to submit to my Master and if at any point I don't wanna submit to him anymore or if the relationship becomes dangerous to me, I will get the hell out of it. It's always my choice, whether is by submitting to him or leaving him. You don't have to do anything that puts you in any kind of danger or that you don't like. The golden rule is that it must be CONSENSUAL. Otherwise, it will be an abusive relationship.
To be continued...
Ana :)
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From Ana:
I was first introduced to the lifestyle about 2 months ago and it was from the most unlikely source, at least to me.
My ex-husband!!!!!!!
Let me start from the beggining:
I was in a relationship for the past 13 years, not knowing that, for the last 4 years, the feelings he had for me had changed. He begun getting interested in this lifestyle without me knowing anything about. I always had some kinky desires, but was always very shy to let him know about them, which led us to separate about 2 months ago. That was when he told me all about what he's been hidding from me regarding his preferences and how he always wanted me to be his sub. After talking to him, I become curious about it. That very night, I went to the computer and spent several hours researching.
Now, some of you may be thinking that the only reason I got into the lifestyle and in this new relationship, was because I didn't wanna lose him. You're so wrong. The more I researched, the more I realized that I was more apart of this lifestyle than I thought. I can relate and fantasize with a lot that is the lifestyle and the world of BDSM. I just never knew it and I was to shy to make the questions. But, back to what I was saying.
The next day, we met up and talked about it and I told him that I have been doing research about it and I had a lot of questions and if he was willing to answer them to me. We had a long talk about it (it went over the extend of 2 weeks on and off) and I came to the conclusion that I wanted to be in a Dom/sub relatioship, but to do that I needed a good Dom and here in Portugal, those aren't very easy to find. It took a couple more days for me to ask him to be my Dom, because if I was going to be in a BDSM relationship with someone, I might as well be with someone I already know and trust. He, of course, agreed.
He is now my Master. He's been teaching me everything that he knows about it, but I already taught him a thing or two. ;)
He's patient, loving, wild and everything a good Dom should be. He never pushes too hard, even tought he tries to have me break some walls I have put up. He is absolutely amazing.
Next time, I'll tell you some things I've learned so far.
Ana :) |
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From Ana:
I never tought, not even in a milion years, that I would be into this lifestyle.
I never even consider the chances of getting into the lifestyle.
I never tought that, one day, I would call someone Master and feel so loved and protected.
And yet, here I am.
28 years old and living for the first time.
My name is Ana Marques, I'm 28 years old, raised in a non-practicing catholic family and in a Dom/sub relationship for the first time.
I was always told what to do and if I misbehave, I would be punished, I was told that crying is a weakness and that I needed to keep to myself everything that would be bothering me.
Now, I still do what I am told and if I misbehave, I am punished, but I no longer believe that crying is a weakness or that I need to keep to myself what bothers me. My Master taught me that. And I'll be forever gratefull to Him for that.
In this journal I intend to let you all know everything that I know, that way you can know me a little bit better or maybe even discover a few new things (if you're just as green as I am in all of this. :) ) that you may not know, from my breaking in to this wonderfull world to the current rules my Master and I have.
So, with that, I leave you for tonight.
Kisses from this very new sub,
Ana Marques. :)
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