SkyeSmile

Im not sure how much of my relationship I have control over at times. It is beautiful how much power a submissive can hold, even when you have them tied and whimpering, or begging with head thrown back and lips parted with panting breath. It makes me feel powerful and humble to take care of my Eric, to force him into clothes of my choice, to make him bark and crawl, or to stroke the deliciously sensitive skin beneath his balls while my teeth carefully hold him captive. I love the look of adoration he watches me with, the anticipation and anxiety when he is not sure what direction my mood is taking us.

I have found a submissive that I adore. Fireofreason, my Eric, has made me quite happy in all areas at this time. I have collared him, tied him, teased him with the flush of orgasm only to deny him over and over, made his flesh pinken and lift with pretty lines of pleasure pain...I am his mistress, and I have many more pleasures to awaken in his beautiful mind and body.

I have decided to screen for submissives. It is time to pick one or two, if that is how it works out. I am not looking for a house slave, but for a submissive who has a mind and can converse with me regarding a variety of topics. I have found that those who can not think or form opinions bore me, and that those who are only interested in sex fill me with disdain.

There is a whole world of intricate paths involved in a satisfying relationship of any sort, and while I am not perfect myself, I find that I have a set of guidelines that I am looking for in my future sub. One of the most important things is that my submissive has to realize that I am in a permanent relationship with someone. That relationship is outside of whatever might grow between me and my submissive. My husband accepts my needs but can not fill them, and as we are secure and honest with each other, he encourages me to find a submissive that I can be with on a regular basis. His exact and blunt phrase was that I need to "do it more often".

And now, I am in search of the submissive who can fill this empty spot in my life. If anyone reading this feels that they can be happy in the role, message me with what you are looking for and with any questions that might lead us to engaging in a relationship.

So this week I am having the greatest time getting to know myself and others on this site. It has been one experience after another, and I find myself smiling and enjoying the banter and wit that unexpectedly  moved between me and other interesting  persons. I find that I am anticipating and  smiling as I wait for each new message. What does this tell me about myself?  I will think on it before I answer, to make sure that I do not lie or mislead in any way.

January 25th, 2012

Well, with today being my first day on a chat site, I have to say that it was more like I was in a class on psychology in the role of sexual exploration. A lot of first time or curious bottoms approached me and asked about my experiences. There were still more questions on how to broach the subject with a current partner. I found that the majority of people who approached me were learning about themselves and the depths that are waiting to be explored as they each participated in soul searching.

I was one of the lucky ones, you know. In my teen years I happened to have a great partner to explore and play with. One who liked the edge of a blade, a firm hand on warm skin, and teeth setting into intimate flesh. I knew right away what turned me on the most, and how to get it.

It will be interesting to see what I learn from this site. Maybe I will find that I don't know myself as well as I think I do. Or maybe I will learn others more intimately.