sissyziva

Men’s Toilet Slut

My name is Ziva. I’m a 26 year old secret crossdressing transvestite slut. To all who know me in my normal life, I’m just an ordinary man. I have been crossdressing in ladies lingerie ever since I was 13 years old, when I used to baby sit for my gorgeous next door neighbor and go through her underwear drawer and laundry basket sniffing her used panties when she was out at night. Ever since pulling on my first suspender belt and fastening the suspender clips to the tops of a pair of worn stockings, I was hooked on the feeling of stockings and how slutty they made me feel.

This story is about my fall into the clutches of men in public toilets.

As I was so hooked on stockings and suspenders, I always wore them under my male clothes at work or when out for an evening. No matter where I was or what I was doing, I would wear them. One day, I went into a toilet to relieve my bladder. Thinking that someone might see my underwear if I used the urinal, I went into the cubicle instead. It wasn’t long before I started to notice the graffiti on the walls of a sexual nature. Most of it showed girly men in stockings being used by other men.

This graffiti got into my subconscious. Before long, I was actively seeking out the best toilets with the most graffiti. It was such a thrill to sit there in my stockings and read it, and imagine myself in those situations being used by men.

Then one day, I met a lady called Lorraine. She liked to be called Mistress Laz. She had left her name on a public toilet wall and I texted her a message, never expecting a response. We soon realized that we had a sexual chemistry going on, I seemed to turn her on and she definitely turned me on. I longed for her touch and to be in bed with her. She knew all about my secret desires of wearing ladies lingerie, licking cum out of her freshly fucked pussy, and doing exactly as she instructed me to do - both in bed and out.

She quickly realized that I was putty in her hands, and we began an affair of exchanging many texts that lead up to her first instruction. She told me that to get to her in real life I must follow her instructions carefully. I was to get dressed as a slut and find some public toilets. She described to me where they were, and told me that I must go there late at night to get grabbed and used by lots of men.

I had always tried to find new toilets for more descriptive writings and drawings that would feed this fetish of mine. Therefore, this particular idea wasn’t hard for me to follow through on. I used maps to find the place that she referred to in her instruction. It was an especially seedy place in a quiet and beautiful spot. The toilets were filled with depraved graffiti and artwork about men capturing transvestites and gang raping them into submission. Some artists had drawn sissies being used by monstrously large cocks and groups of men. Many of the sissies had spunk dripping out of their open assholes, and little cocks that hung uselessly between their stocking clad legs. I immediately made the decision that I would go there the next night as ordered by Laz.
The next night, I dressed up from head to toe. I wore a wig, makeup, all black lacy lingerie, bra, blouse, skirt, stockings, suspenders, thongs and the highest heels I had. I left home all dressed and freshly washed in all of the right places, and drove to my new found place. Arriving, I noticed a few cars and vans around the car park that had been quiet during the daylight hours the day before. However, I thought nothing of it as it was dark outside. I got out of my car and made my way to the toilet block with my heart beating fast, looking forward to the seediness of my new found favorite place. My high heels clicked on the tarmac and the cool night air swirled around and up my skirt.

Walking in, I found myself in a dimly lit toilet with 3 cubicles facing me. I made my way into the center one and locked the door behind me. The smell of the place was almost overpowering with stale piss and musk. As my little clit ached and longed to be set free, I started to read the words all around me. 

I was now sitting in the cubicle and playing with myself as I read the messages on the walls. It was so dark. I heard footsteps come into the men’s room, stop and then walk into the next cubicle. He must have seen my slutty clothes because, before I knew it, he pushed his huge cock through the hole in the wall between our cubicles. My heart beat faster and faster, and I couldn’t resist touching him, kissing and licking him, then sucking him. He pulled out and left his cubicle just as I was getting ready to really suck him. I was disappointed for a moment, but then I heard him knocking on my door. From somewhere, I watched my own hand reaching out and sliding the latch across to let him in. He pushed into the cubicle with me, his angry cock pointing out at me from his trousers. 

“Have you done this before slut?” “No sir,” I heard myself saying. He laughed and said, “Well it’s too late now slut. Your ass is mine. Now get on your knees and suck me.” As I knelt down before him, he pushed a small brown bottle under my nose. “Sniff this deeply slut.”

Not knowing what was happening, I did as instructed. The feeling that swept over me suddenly made my so cock hungry. I couldn’t get enough of his huge salty sweaty cock in my mouth. It was so disgusting, yet I was so horny that I already wanted more.

“Now stand up, turn around and bend over the toilet with your head in the pan. I want you to sniff at this bottle continuously. Keep sniffing it you cock sucking little slut. Don’t stop until I say so.”

A new feeling rushed through me, making my asshole burn, tingle and want - all at the same time. I went into another world and could see myself from another perspective. At last, this was really happening. Drawings and writings were becoming reality. Time seemed to slow, and my heart began to pound with lust. I could feel him positioning himself behind me with one hand on my suspender belt at the back where it fastened. Then, I felt his hot cock head against my cunthole.

“One really deep long sniff slut with each nostril,” he said. I was terrified with lust and, of course, complied - just wanting him to fuck me now. Then he pushed his 10” cock all the way slowly inside me and it felt so hot and big. I felt like my insides would swallow him whole as I stretched around his hot flesh. I wanted him so much. I felt like such a slut bent over the toilet like that with my High heels, black stockings, suspenders, thong, skirt and bra on. He was inside me and I felt complete. I was now the slut that I had known I was all these years, but never knew how to make it happen. 

From behind, and through a haze of lust, I heard the door latch being slid open. He was opening the door. I couldn’t see what was going on, and I didn’t care for that matter. As long as he kept fucking me, he could do anything he liked.

Suddenly, he dragged me backwards and out into the open area by the urinals. To my horror, I saw 3 other men leering at me and wanking their exposed cocks. Without saying a word, they got closer. Two of them pushed their cocks into my mouth at the same time, while the 3rd managed to position himself so that I was wanking him. I had no free hands now, as my other hand was holding the poppers to my nose. I was finally in my proper place. My hopelessly inadequate cock was soft inside my black lacy thong panties. I was in the presence of two real men’s cocks that were buried in my ass and mouth, and my panties were roughly pulled aside to allow easy access to my hole.

The man who was fucking my mouth suddenly took the poppers from me, had some himself, then held the bottle back to my nose for me. In a rough voice, he instructed me, “Sniff this sissy making drug you slut. We are going to fuck and use you for as long as we like. You wandered into the wrong toilet this time. Lots of men wait here to grab sluts like you.”

The man behind me was pounding into me now. “Oh fuck me please, you dirty bastards!” I heard myself say through the drug induced haze of lust. In the darkness, I could just about see myself in a mirror being tossed around by these 4 men. God, I looked like such a slut here in this toilet. Anyone could walk in. As I thought this, I noticed that the door to the outside world was slightly ajar. I could see someone keeping watch for us as I was being degraded by these men. Or was I being trapped in there by them? Both thoughts appealed to me, and I became more inflamed by the situation that I found myself in. I wondered how many more men I would have the degrading pleasure of servicing if that man was there outside. How many more might there be on this long night?

My skirt had long since been ripped off, and lay in a pool of piss in the now vacated cubicle. I was stood there being fucked by these lust crazed men who had obviously been waiting for an unsuspecting sissy like me to happen by. The man in my asscunt had been fucking me for ages and I could now feel him swelling inside me. Then he let out a cry.

“Take that bitch!” Oh god, my insides were flooded in hot liquid. My soft cock, too, began pumping cum. I was cumming and I wasn’t even hard! He seemed to cum for ages before he finally pulled out. He was quickly replaced by another man who had been queuing up behind him and mouthing obscenities at me.
“Fuck slut, you are gonna get it tonight. You will wish that you had never come in here you filthy slut. Then you will wish that you were always in here by the time we have finished with you. You want it so bad, don’t you?”

He shoved his cock hard into me and began pistoning in and out of me. I was still sucking on the 2 cocks in my mouth when one of them started to twitch and flooded my mouth with foul tasting cum. “Swallow it cunt. Don’t waste a drop. We are going to fill you up!.”

The first man left the toilets. I was now at the mercy of these men and I knew they wouldn’t let me go easily. It didn’t matter, though. I didn’t want to be anywhere else but in this musky smelling filthy place being used like this.

I could feel hands all over my stockings and underwear as they were using me. My ass was opening up like a real cunt, and my sissy cock was still amazingly leaking cum from the pounding I was receiving. The poppers were still being held to my nose, and the feeling was an overwhelming rush.

The first man had obviously been spreading the word outside, because more men soon entered the now crowded toilet. I heard the jangle of something like a chain, and I was being pushed back into the cubicle that I started the evening in. 

My hands were roughly pushed together. I felt handcuffs being clipped into place and around the downpipe leading from the cistern to the toilet. I was stuck there with my ass on show to all those outside. Three men were in the cubicle with me. It was all very close, and hard cocks were being pushed towards me - two from the side and one from behind.

“You fucking slut. Do you realize what’s going to happen to you now? You are stuck here, imprisoned in this place. It’s been a while since we ran a train into such a pretty transvestite’s ass like this, so we are going to make the most of it you sexy bitch!”

I heard the men in the queue talking filthy about filling me with cum and ruining my ass for good. They were taking their place waiting and getting themselves excited for me.

Cock after cock emptied inside me - one after another. I felt the spunk fill my bowels and begin to leak out and run down my legs to soak the welt of my stocking tops. Every man seemed to want to pull at my underwear as they were fucking me. I obviously turned them into sex crazed monsters with the way I was provocatively dressed. I hadn’t realized what this kind of underwear must do for other men until now. I just liked how slutty it made me feel. But suddenly I realized that this kind of lingerie was designed to make men hard and want to fuck little gurls like me. I had unwittingly ensured my own downfall by dressing like this. I was finally caught out for the slut I really was, and I was going to be made to pay for being such a slut by these men.

A big black man pushed his way past me in this confined cubicle and sat on the toilet. He swiveled me around and sat me straight onto his cock. He slipped right into me. I could feel him stretching my now throbbing hole even wider than it already was. From this position, I could see at least six other men standing there and watching. All of them had their cocks out, hard and ready for their turn. The door to the car park kept opening and closing. It was like a party and I was center of the action.

The black stud in my ass began to pump into me harder and harder. A man in front of me held a fresh bottle to my nose and that feeling surged over me again.

“Oh gawd, you fucking bastards. Fuck me! I need your cocks and cum.” Was it really me that was saying these things? My hole seemed to be turning into a real cunt as the cock pounded me. I was opening up more and more as the night wore on. I didn’t know how long I had been here, but it seemed like minutes. I just wanted this ecstasy to go on and on forever.

I could tell the blokes around me just wanted to use me and gave no regard to my well being. I was just being used as a hole for their lust. The man holding the poppers to my nose began to move closer. “You are fucked bitch. Sniff this deeply, long and hard. Fill your lungs all the way up for me, and then hold it in.” I emptied my lungs all the way, sniffed long, hard and deep, and held my breath when my lungs were full. 

“GOD FUCK ME! PLEASE FUCK ME!” I heard myself shout as he again held the bottle to my nose and told me to do the same again. I sniffed even longer this time and again held my breath.

The cock inside me pistoned in and out. Then he slowed as the man in front of me positioned his cock on top of the one in my ass. Then he began to push himself inside of me, right on top of the massive black cock that was already deeply embedded in me. My hole stretched and gave way to this second invader. My sissy cock, still soft and leaking cum for the past god knows how long, began to pump more cum out in a stream. The cum ran down my shriveled little balls and onto my now stretched asshole with 2 cocks buried deep inside me.

I felt myself floating away on a tide of lust as I came and came. I could hear myself muttering, “Fuck me. Fuck me,” over and over again as they rammed their cocks into me mercilessly. My hole thrusted back of its own accord to get even more cock inside me. The second guy came a bucket load of scalding hot cum deep in me and over the black guy’s cock, further lubricating the action inside me. He pulled out and passed the poppers to the next man in line, who immediately started to push the bottle to my nose.

“Sniff deeply slut. We are not finished with you yet by a long long way.” I loved him saying this to me and begged for more cock. They just laughed at me, which turned me on even more for some reason.

He entered me as well. I once again had 2 cocks in my pussy and I adored the feeling. Here I was, in this seedy dark smelly place, with graffiti covered walls, being used and abused by all these men. I couldn’t understand how the black man could go for so long. As man after man double fucked my hole and emptied cum into me, he was still in there going at me like hammer and tongue all this time.

I’m sure I was now on the 3rd bottle of poppers and my head was floating somewhere. I had been turned into a cock crazed fuck slut over these past hours in this place. I now knew my place in this world and felt happier than ever before. There was no way I wanted this to end.

Another man was now approaching me. He seemed to have a really small cock, and I was disappointed because I needed to be filled more. Cum was leaking out of me like a stream around the black man’s cock. My hands were tied above me to the cistern pipe and I was helpless and at their mercy. So I resigned myself to my fate to wait for more and more cock.

Instead of pushing his cock into me, he knelt down and began to lick my open hole with the cum running out and the cock still ramming inside me. I could just about make out what he was trying to do in the darkness. He lifted my legs high into the air and started to push his hand around the black man’s cock. Finger by finger, he entered my aching throbbing hole.

The black man inside me was now holding the poppers to my nose. He whispered lewdly into my ear, “Sniff bitch. This is why I’m here. I can only cum when I’m being wanked inside a steaming cum dripping pussy hole like yours. So sniff deeply cunt, as I need my release and you are my captive until I get what I want.”

I sniffed and sniffed as the hand slowly stretched my hole and slipped inside and around the black man’s monster cock. It went in right past the wrist and seemed to go up and over the black man’s swelling helmet. It then started to massage him there right inside my hole. I now had a huge black cock and the lower part of an arm stretching out my sphincter muscle. Both were pushing in and out of me as I was continually made to sniff on the bottle. The bottle kept being renewed by these filthy bastards who seemed to know exactly the effect they were having on me. And I loved every second of it.

The feeling was intense. My hole was in pain, but it was throbbing and aching for more abuse all at the same time. I was carried away with the lust of what was happening to me. My high heels were waving around in the air, and my cock was pumping yet more cum out to lubricate my already sloppy cum filled cunthole.

Someone must have had a camera to film the action. I kept seeing bright flashes as my hole was being used like this. I suddenly realized that I could be recognized if the pictures were made public. But it was too late now, and the thought of being blackmailed into slavery by these men filled me with desire for more. Nothing else seemed to matter anymore. I was their slut and they could own me.

I could hear myself screaming in pleasure for more and more. My asshole was so full of cum and cock and fist. Just then, the black man began to moan in a low guttural voice, “That’s it bitch. Get ready. I’m cumming for you!” He seemed to swell to impossible proportions, and I began to feel him twitch inside me. Suddenly, I could feel gush after gush of hot cum scalding my insides

“Oh gawd. Make me your bitch in stockings forever. I want more and more.” “Don’t worry cunt,” someone said from outside, “We own your ass now with these photo’s as evidence. Unless you do as we instruct, your life will be destroyed!!!”

“We are going to post them all over the internet and advertise you so more men will be drawn into here for you. Don’t worry about being rescued by the police, as some of the men who come here are high up officers who protect our little secret.”

Around that point, with all the poppers and hole stretching that was going on, I passed out in pleasure and aching throbbing lustful pain. I came around hours later, as I noticed the first grayness of daylight when I opened my eyes.

I was now lying in the middle of the men’s room, and someone was pounding yet more cum into my ass. I must have been here for at least 8 hours now and the bastards were still using me. What must have happened to me all night, I wondered.

“Oh look. The bitch is coming round,” one of the men said. “Don’t worry cunt, we have to get to work soon. We are nearly finished with you for the night. Pretty soon, you can go home and prepare yourself for more fun on Friday and Saturday night. It’s a shame that you passed out and missed most of the fun we’ve had with you, but we like it when we have a rag doll to use who is unconscious. During the weekends, we can spend more time on you as we don’t have work. And there is always the weekend crowd for you to contend with. By the time you come back, word will have gotten around. They will all have seen the pictures and video of you being fucked and abused unconsciously all night in here. If you are a good girl, we won’t ruin your life. But you are now our cock cum slave. Understood???”

“Oh god yes, I understand. I need this so much. You won’t have any complaints from me,” I heard myself degradingly but lustfully agree to their terms. 

What had become of me? What was to become of me? All I knew is that I wanted and needed this. Laz had taken me into her world now. I was looking forward to being with her in person to find out if this had turned her on as it had turned me on. I was now desperate to taste her honey and be inside her in every way possible.

The man said, “Good little slut. When you come back, make sure you are wearing the sluttiest clothes possible for your continued abuse. We will let you have a copy of the video so you can see just what happened to you this night. Be warned though, don’t let it put you off. You are ours now for good. Your Mistress will be very pleased with you if you follow her and our instructions from now on.”

For the purposes of this story, her name was Mistress M. We met about 25 years ago and went our separate ways about 20 years ago; something I will always and forever regret. We were both attending a commuter college in the city. I was an upperclassman and she a freshman student. She was to pledge a sorority, and I was already sort of a big man on campus in a frat of my own. Other guys started to talk of asking her out but I beat them to her.

The relationship started out the way many do. After a party we had attended, she needed a ride home and she chose to come with me. We "made out" in my car. She was beautiful, sensual and seductively dressed. In time we became a regular item. Since we both still lived at home, with our respective families, our time together was while we were in school, evenings when we both finished our school and after school jobs, and weekends with both of us socializing on weekends and later usually winding up in "short stay" motels. 

Within the earlier parts of the relationship we discussed our sexual fantasies, she being freer about her views than I was with her at first. Her courage and lack of fear of own her venerability was just one of many early examples of her feminine strength. 

One night while she was masturbating me in the front seat of my car, after having enjoyed several orgasms of her own, (which was always the way I knew sex was supposed to be), she kept asking me about my fantasies. She kept me on the edge of ejaculation and try as I might to avoid her questions she remained constant, both in her questions and her sexual manipulations of me. "Tell Me . . . Tell Me!!!... I have to know . . . I want to know! Tell me now!" 

I stammeringly answered, "Well, I kind of like, a, uh, umm, ..." "Tell me," she pressed.

"I kind of like... the way women pee." 

"Go on," she continued, as she manipulated me. 

"I like the see the way it comes out and the sound it makes and I..." 

"Do you want to watch me pee?" she inquired. "Is that all? And do you want to help me wipe when I'm done? Would you like to help me in the ladies room? Do you want to help me pull my pants and panties down? Would you like to kneel down before me and lift my skirt and lower my panties and pantyhose when I'm dressed up? Do you want me to sit on the toilet or to squat somewhere else? Do you want me to pee on you?" 

I responded the best I could, in an absolute daze of sexual excitement. "Yes, I kind of like all those things and I love the idea of helping a woman, .. you, that way," I answered.

"Do you want to drink it sometime? Is that a fantasy too?"

"Yes, but I am not sure if I'd like to do all of those things yet." 
"Hmm...I'll just have to see about that. What else... there must be more... what other ideas do you have? Tell me I want to know. Tell me now!" as she kept rubbing me, keeping me excited and on the edge. The more excited I got, the looser my jaw became.

“I, uh, you know, kind of like women's lingerie and their clothes." 

"Do you mean the pretty undies that I already wear or is there something more? Do you mean you'd like to wear some pretty panties and maybe a bra as well, maybe some stockings or a slip, humm... Tell ME..."

I could no loner hold the words or truth back from her. "Yes all of that."

“What else?" she continued.

At this point I could no longer, nor did I desire, to stop myself from explaining; all my fantasies came tumbling out in a flood of explanation. I told her of my need to serve Womankind, the superior sex. How being feminine and having a superior female guide me was my most deeply hidden desire and the most important part of my foundation of my sexuality. I told her how I would like nothing better than to have her dress me from the skin out as a female, on a semi-regular or regular basis. How I'd love to wear a dress and panties, stockings and a bra with makeup and perfume, to carry a purse, to be feminine, to be her girlfriend, or anything else, at her command. I was absolutely weak in my flood of submissive ecstasy. Her response was, "Good..." as she finally allowed me to cum. It seemed to be a reward for confessing a truth; a truth she had long suspected. 

Afterward she told me that she and I would have to a little shopping soon. She also demanded literature on the subject of these fantasies, and wanted to know did I already own literature on this subject and how often did I jerk off to this, etc. She had some of my newspapers and magazines to read shortly thereafter. In the meanwhile, most outside aspects of relationship remained relatively normal.

During the middle of the school week, there was a time for student activities or studying built into the college schedule. "Get your coat we have to go shopping," she said to while still amongst our lunch crowd. I excitedly followed her to a nearby major shopping area containing a large department store.

"You wait here while I go in," she stated.

"How long are you going to be, honey?" I asked.

"As long as I have to be; you stay here and wait. Be helpful to the women entering and exiting the store; hold the door for them," she said as she left my sight.

Her excursion took about 45 minutes as I stood there. "Did you help the women as they came and left?" she inquired with a knowing smile.

"Yes," I responded.

"Did you enjoy waiting for me as I shopped for your first pretty little present?"

"Yes. What's in the bag?" My excitement was showing in my pants.

"You'll have to wait until Saturday night, and then only if you're good." It seemed like Saturday night took forever to come. When we got into the motel room, she said, "Take off your clothes while I am in the bathroom and kneel down here by the bed and wait for me to come out." 

When she came out, she asked, "Well... have you been good all week? Have you been excited about your little present? I bet you just can't wait." Looking between my legs she said, "I can see you're excited. O.K.- beg to see what I've got for you."

"Please, please, may I see what you bought for me to wear, please may I see it?"

"I believe Mistress should precede my name."

"Please Mistress M., may I see what's in the bag?" I begged.

"Well all right, here it is." Out came a pretty lacey feminine pair of hipster panties with little pink bow at the top center of the elastic waist band. She helped me put them on and she used them to build up our lovemaking and to, as I see it now, build my fetish up too.

The following weekend, she insisted I wear the panties under my clothes when we went out to dinner with our mutual friends. She kept on touching me on the hip through my pants pocket as we sat with there and slyly smiling at me reducing me to a state of quivering excitement. Later when we were finally alone, she lovingly and dominantly presented me with a second pair of pink lacey bikinis with little bows on the corner of each hip, that turned out to be too small (they were castrating me and they didn't fit her either - we were the same size, size seven, as it turned out). She told me unfortunately this was a common occurrence in women's clothes and something I would learn a lot more about in the future. She said that she'd give the pretty pink panties to her younger sister to use. Later she added, "Every time you see my sister, you'll never really know if she's wearing your pretty panties or not; you'll just have to wonder." 

In the coming months her dominance over me became more developed. And while many aspects of our relationship were to the outside world normal, in my heart I knew that she knew what I desired most, to be owned and feminized by a dominant loving woman; Her. 
By this point, things had progressed to the point of her having me attempt to drink her "special drink" directly from its source. I did not do too well the very first and only time because of the streams' speed while lying on my back on the floor. She stormed off to the bathroom and finished relieving herself, and returned to give me a spanking for disappointing her. After this transgression she began to have me drink it from a glass. 
She would fill it in the privacy of the bathroom, with ice cubes, while kneeling in front of her, while she enjoyed whatever we brought for her or while she drank water while standing or sitting in front of me. In the motel she would tie me to the clothes rack that was anchored to the wall and spank me or pull me over her lap for my spanking. She seemed to like the over the lap position better since she could move her legs and move my entire body around at her will, allowing my total vulnerability, giggling as she did. 

She would ask me questions like, "Does my cunt taste good? I didn't wipe very well today after peeing in the ladies' room because I knew I'd have you here to clean me with your tongue." 

"Thank you for your thoughtfulness mistress, you taste delicious," would be my reply.

In time, she told me that considering whom I actually was my masculine name really no longer suited me so she had come up with a feminine name for me. "I think I'll call you Janet; you kind of remind me of a simple minded and passive Janet." Later, she measured my genitals with a tape measure, and even though my penis was as thick as her wrist, its erect length was only very slightly longer than 5 inches. She began to tell me and then made me admit the truth, that I wasn't really much of a man, since my little penis was less than the average length of six inches. 

Considering my "submissive sissy personality" and "the size of your tiny little pee-pee, you are more like a female, but not really a woman. Since you are still flat-chested, you are more like a little girl, perhaps even a baby girl." I was her property and all of me, especially what little I had between my legs, was hers. “Since you are so inadequately effeminate especially between your legs, from then on you are to refer to those parts as your tiny little clit, and below as your labia and vagina; or generally as your pussy." She started ordering me to wear my "tiny girlish pee-pee tucked backwards between your legs, so no offensive unbecoming budge" was showing in an "unladylike way." 

When we were together, I was called her little girl, and she frequently asked me questions like, "How is my little girl doing today? Has she been good? Have her panties been wet or has she been good and kept them clean and dry all day? Did she remember to be tidy and wipe herself after she sat and piddled into her potty? Did she remember to use the 'little girls' room' or did she stupidly wander into the boys room again? Did my little young lady remember to sit when she made her pee-pee today? (- an offense punishable be a regular spanking and a "pussy spanking.") Has your 'little pussy' been kept all clean and tidy? Let me see it now little girl, go pee-pee, open your legs, spread your legs wider and squat." 

Months after she had me kneeling before her, and she informed me that my name was to be changed again, "I've decided on a new name for you. I don't think the name Janet really suits you. So I've given you a new name, one that you'll always use in the future. Do you want to know what is? Beg Me to hear it?" 

"Yes Mistress, please tell me my new name, please." 
"Your name is no longer Janet, your new name is going to be 'pussy.' A name that really suits you. Now what is you new name? Answer me!" 

"My new name is... ah..., um..., pussy. My name is pussy, Mistress," I humbly answered. 

"That's right pussy, good little girl, good little pussy," she dominantly responded. "And remember, that's also what's between your legs. It is never again to be referred to as a cock or balls, not ever! It's a pussy, because you are now what you are supposed to have been, a girl. Apparently the stupid doctor misdiagnosed you at birth as a boy. I am finally fixing all that. All that is masculine I am taking away from you. What's between my
legs that you worship will now be called my cunt. Is that understood? When you kneel before me and beg you will talk to my cunt and not directly to me. Sex is pleasure that I receive; sex for you is pleasure you give me or whomever I order you to serve.” 

“And since we are both females, you are to purchase dildos and vibrators to give me pleasure since we do not have any cock we can use when we are alone. In time all my girlfriends will know about you because you will serve them. Their now high opinion of you will diminish as you become just a plaything, just a little girl or perhaps a maid in front of them. This will happen at the first party I throw to announce your status change to them when we eventually move in together. Maybe I'll let you serve them in the little girls room, which by the way is what you will call it from now on when you have to make your pee-pee or whatever. And you must beg for my permission to use the little girls' room as well, have you got all that?” 

“Sometimes I will just have to say no to your request and make you pee your panties just for a good laugh or to entertain some of my friends. Also, I want you to study all females and be like them. How we walk, talk, move, the clothes they wear, the expressions we use. Did you ever notice how women lead with their hips when we walk, especially walking down stairs? It's time for you to be more lady-like and you'll be punished for mistakes and not catching on quickly enough. You are also to sit when you pee-pee from now on and wipe in the front like a good girl always, with no more excuses. I guess I'll have to potty train you as a female but the changes in you this will produce will be worth it, I guarantee it. And I want to have you learn how to curtsey. Do you understand?" 

"Yes Mistress," I nervously responded quivering in sexual energy. 

"I can't wait for your first period when you grow up. What fun we'll have. You can eventually learn more about your period by changing my tampons, but of course you'll be starting with sanitary napkins like all young ladies do. Just think of the fun you are going to have shopping for all your feminine hygiene and personal needs while I supervise you."

In the outside world, I became an honorary member of her sorority as she was now president of the group. On the surface, I had been a big help to the sorority women in general. In reality, I did as she told me to do. I was hers and she knew it. I received a plaque in honor of my membership. Later that night, I received a traditional sorority induction spanking while over her lap.

I purchased many vibrators for her to use, some non-phallic, some phallic, some large, some small. She used them at home when she was alone and I wasn't there to serve her sexual needs. Once she almost got caught by her aunt as her aunt barged into her bedroom without knocking. When we were alone, I used my tongue, fingers, the vibrators and my "pussy" when she was in the mood for it, on her beautiful gorgeous cunt, bringing her to many powerful orgasms. 

One non-phallic model vibrator, had two speeds and six attachable different heads. One night I was to find the head and speed that brought her the greatest pleasure; for each mistake I was to be spanked 10 times while across her lap. She told me that since I was now a female, it shouldn't be too hard for me to figure out which attachment and speed would bring her, another female, to greatest ecstasy. I was wrong over and over again. She told me how stupid I was each time. I went through all the attachments and speeds before finally choosing the correct combination last. I was spanked and made to count each slap for her, thanking her for each blow, then made to beg for another before the next whack. As she picked up speed, each number or word I missed caused her to start over. Before she was finished, I was good and sore. And more in love with her and submissive than ever before.

Another night, after she had me make sure she was good and turned on, she ordered me to insert a large vibrating dildo into her. It was at least 10 inches long and very thick. When it was fully up inside her, I could see a bulge appear in the center of her lower abdominal area as it moved. She bucked, moaned and groaned in sexual ecstasy and said, "Oh...this is great, this feels wild! Ohhhh... I guess this is what a real man in my cunt would feel like," just before she enjoyed another orgasm of her many orgasms, crushing me and any remaining ego I had left, in the process. I knew in some way, that she had meant every word.

I bought her feminine lingerie, and she bought me the same. I purchased for her more vibrators, creams, oils, lotions and other sex toys to please her. She often mentioned that the next time we came to the motel, her night would be a night of having wild orgasms, my pleasure would be restricted to a night of simply and only giving orgasms, there would be none of my own. Another night in the same location, she put makeup and earrings on me and outrageously did up my hair and then sent me to the registration desk to ask the clerk for change for the soda machine and later again to return the key when we left.

Soon she brought me to a department store lingerie department to see what I'd like for myself. She held up nylon lacey panties to my hips and spoke in a loud enough voice, "Yes, I know you'll look cute in these. These are the kind you like to wear, aren't they?" as she tried them up to me on their little hangers for sizing. "Pick out something you'd like for yourself." I was flabbergasted, panicked and in an altered state of sexually frenzied fear. I grabbed a pair of white lacey nylon ladies' briefs in my size. 

"These are not panties. These are ladies' briefs! I thought you told me you like wearing ladies panties, but you've told me nothing about briefs! So which do you like better? Tell me! Should I put back these other selections and switch to all briefs or do you just want to wear these briefs sometimes and keep these other pretty panties I picked out? After all, I want you to be happy with these since you'll be wearing them." I chose to keep her wonderful selections and the one pair of briefs. She made me get in the check out line and "Pay for the panties and briefs, since they are for you." All the other women there, having overheard, gave me knowing smiles and giggles mixed with a sense of "This is the absolutely correct thing for a woman to do to her companion," although some looked like the idea of female domination and control had suddenly dawned on them at that moment.

Once we were headed to our favorite take out restaurant to pick up some food I had ordered by phone before a trip to a motel. Under my jeans I wore pink panties, a pink garter belt and pink stockings as per her orders, in a bag I had a bra and nightie she had purchased for me and some other items. As I drove, she smiled at me as she touched my garters holding up stockings under my jeans as my wee-wee clit hardened, tucked between my legs. She was going on about our future together and how things, her way, were going be.

"Sometimes, of course you realize, I am going to need to have sex with real adults, perhaps even some real women because I've always wanted to try that and it's time for that to happen. And of course with real men. I need some real big and hard cock, I crave it, I ache for it sometimes. You know I need sexual satisfaction with people who are nothing at all like you, little girl. I as an adult woman need these things, because sometimes you really don't do it that much for me, as hard as you try. I just don't know what I'm going to do with you. Sometimes too, I really get tried of your annoying sissy horniness. I tell you to keep your panties dry and clean for me, but you don't do that very well either, do you young lady? What am I going to do with you? What am I going to do with you? umm... maybe I should just have you fixed”. 

“There's a good idea! Don't you think so? We'll get your labia surgically altered. Or maybe really we should just get you a sex change. Of course, that's even better! You'd be agreeable to that, wouldn't you? Of course you would, my obedient little girl! I could show you off to all of my girlfriends or anyone else and you could serve all of us. Just imagine the fun I will have ordering you to lift your skirts and showing everyone your pretty panties; then pulling your panties down and showing off your new anatomically correct pussy to all my girlfriends. I could even show them what little you have before I get you fixed. I could take pictures, before and after, although there wouldn't be too much difference. Then you'd be truly and forever conquered.” 

“After all, you'd probably love getting to wear feminine clothes all the time. And your panties and bras would fit you so much better. Just try to think, if you can, I know it's hard for you to do that. You would have that perfect feminine smoothness between your legs and in the front keeping your panties looking proper and girlish all the time. Then you'd really have to always sit to make pee-pee and wipe yourself afterwards, not cheating like you sometimes stupidly do now, forgetting to do it properly and get spanked for your silly simple minded, air headed mistakes. I think you like to make mistakes because you like being spanked sometimes. Do you like to make me angry? No matter. I know you'd like being turned into real girl wouldn't you, sissy? A kind of female pinocchio, a pinocchia? A real little girl. Eventually after your surgery, we could go cock hunting together; I'd be the gorgeous one and you would be the plain looking tag along friend who gets my leftovers." 

"Of course Mistress, anything you want is fine with me, I am yours to command, you are mine to serve" I responded. Looking toward the restaurant from the car we sat in she said, 

"I think our dinner is ready. Go and fetch our dinner sissy girl," she commanded. 

"But Mistress, I can't," I replied in trepidation. 

"What do you mean?" she questioned.

Without thinking properly I responded, "You got me so excited I now have a huge hard-on, see." 

She became enraged, "A huge hard-on, a huge hard-on? I do not see any huge hard-on! How can you have a huge hard-on? Girls don't get huge hard-ons, only boys do! You just can't get a huge hard -on between your legs. You're just not capable. You are a girl, not a boy. Are you trying to tease me pretending there is a cock I can use around here? I'll even prove it to you stupid little pussy. What are you wearing under those clothes? Answer me! Are they men's shorts or are they pink girlish feminine panties? Answer Me!" she yelled as I deliciously cringed inside. 

"Panties," I responded.

"Right. Now, do males wear pink panties or do females?"

"Females wear pink panties, Mistress."

"That's correct! So, what does that make you, a male, or a female?"

"A female, Mistress."

"Correct. Now do females have cocks hanging from between their legs that erect into huge hard-ons?"

"No Mistress, they don't..."

"What you meant to say was, 'no Mistress, we don't', didn't you?"

"Yes Mistress, no we don't have cocks that erect into huge hard-ons hanging from between our legs."

"What do we have in our panties?" she continued.

"I have a pussy in my panties and you have your beautiful cunt in your panties, Mistress," I meekly answered.

"And what happens to a girl like you when a woman like me gets her excited."

"Her panties get all wet," I said panting.

"That's correct. What else," she pressed.

"Her nipples harden, her clit gets all swollen and throbs and her labia swells up too."

"So since you so poorly tried to tell me I got you excited, say it properly now, you stupid simple minded pussy."

"I can't go in there, Mistress, because you made my panties get all wet."

"So?"

"Someone might notice."

"Nonsense, I go plenty of places every day with my panties all wet and no one has ever noticed. Do you think you're prettier than I am? Do you'd think they'd notice a plain flat-chested girl like you with wet panties or before they'd notice me with my panties all wet."

"They'd notice you always my gorgeous Mistress."

"Of course, then go get our dinner." And I did, with a huge, er... with wet panties and all. Not so secretly, I loved this treatment. I used my lips, tongue, and the vibrators that night to pleasure her, kissing her breasts, vulva, feet and anus, just after dinner and my spanking and my tears ended.

In time, she spoke further to me of her idea of our ideal future relationship. She would have my first name legally changed to a female name of her choosing and my last name would be hers. 

During the week she would come home from the office. I, of course would be there waiting for her having either gotten in earlier from my job or, if she made enough money, I would stay at home and be her housewife. I would greet her at the door by kissing her feet and taking her bag and coat. I would serve her a drink. I would then undress her and give her a massage and cunnilingus / analingus or other oral adoration. After her orgasms, I would serve her dinner or perform my further oral sexual adoration of her as she ate. I would be dressed as a female and probably on hormones, possibly fixed, possibly sexually changed. Sometimes I would be dressed as a common housewife and other times as a maid. Evenings she would read or watch television as she relaxed and was served or pleased by me in any way she wished.

Other nights in our future, she planned on either staying out late on a date with her female or a male, or would hurry in and have me assist her in her dressing in clothing of her choice I had laid out in advance for her to wear and grooming for her date. Sometimes she would come home with her friends and on weekends she would occasionally throw dinner parties (that might later turn into orgies - hetero, bi or lesbian) with her sissy, pussy, as a cook, a maid, a ladies room attendant and a sexual servant. 
Sometimes in the car, she would have take my "pussy" out of my pants and panties in the front while I drove her home at night, one part (my clit) through the zipper and eventually progressing to all three parts (my clit and labia) through the zipper. Sometimes she had me pull my pants down to my knees and sit there in my panties, garter belt and stockings or she would have me pull the panties down as well. Sometimes while driving, I had to bring her to orgasm by hand while continuing to watch the road. Other times she would sexually tease my "pussy" to the edge of orgasm while driving. Regularly, she would demand to be fingered to orgasm while I drove with the other hand. Sometimes, I'd have to hold my urine, then perform a ladylike squat outdoors in the dark, wiping myself with a paper napkin between my legs. Once in front of the car near a beach, she turned on the high beams as I squatted like a woman while urinating as she laughed hysterically, with my pants and panties down and my garters and stockings showing.

I do not know if this is possible, but at this point in our relationship, I was drinking so much of her delicious "special golden drink" and using my mouth between her legs to make love to her so often, I seemed to be absorbing a great deal of estrogen from her into my body. My breasts began to swell slightly and my nipples would erect when she got me excited. My pee-pee would seem to be delayed in reacting, taking more time to erect, a very noticeable pause before erecting. My wee-wee seemed smaller, more compact, smoother and tighter. My labia (balls) seemed much smaller. My face and body seemed rounder also. I was holding more weight in my buttocks and legs. My orgasms were different. Less liquid was coming out and the sensation seemed more internalized, my body shook more violently when I climaxed. My emotions were also more mood-swing oriented, and I was prone to crying more when she spanked me and at other times. I was ordered to masturbate in front of her and to not ever dream of masturbating without fingering my vaginal (rear) opening. I did my best to please her. She seemed very pleased by all of this.

In a motel she spoke of bringing in some guy we should pick up, a real one with a big hard cock, who could really please her. Later, if and when she grew tired of having sex with him, she mentioned he could use me and "my pussy," since she said that she would love to see me "that way." Next she ordered me to go "get the belt from your pants, bring it to her and then bend over the chair." Shaking, I obeyed and was belt-whipped for the first but not final time in our relationship. She beat my ass and upper thighs. Later that night, she blindfolded me and hand dildoed me for my first time ever with a small vibrator, lubricated only with my saliva, although it didn't go in too far. She said that in the future, as I grew, my "pussy" would have to learn to get wet on its' own, and she mentioned that she thought that I was probably dry at "my pussy" this time because most girls are very, very nervous the first time they get laid. "Getting laid is something a girl like you will have to grow to learn more about; in time your pussy will stretch out to accommodate bigger cock."

I learned after being whipped with my own belt after several occasions to conveniently forget to wear a belt with my outfit. She didn't mind this I feel because the belt she said that really suited me best was a Femininegarter belt, not the belts that males wear.

She had other fantasies as well. Early on she had a rape fantasy, and others about being tied down, wrestling, etc. I did my best to make sure these things happened to her satisfaction.

As I stated, that was many years ago. Once in each of the three years together, she would inform me I was not going to see her that weekend. She had a date. This action was done very publicly in the small college we attended. The rumors and peer pressure were enormous. I really loved her; I was willing to give up my life to save her if such a need ever arose. After her date the first year I was understanding. The second year, I was upset and hurt, the third year it caused our breakup. I was devastated and I didn't, at the time, understand that she had a right to do this. We were also both receiving extremely bad information and advice on relationships from our respective highly dysfunctional families and so-called friends (all of these friends, I no longer have any contact with today), so we never got back together. First she tried for some time to reunite, and when she gave
up trying, I then realized my ego oriented mistake, and I tried to reconnect but it was too late. She was involved with someone else, the man she eventually married. 

My relationship with my Mistress in this story was the most intense, most loving, and best of my life; both the kinky and more normal parts. Emotionally, to quote part of an old song, "I would trade all of my tomorrows, for one single yesterday, to be" ... kneeling before this Goddess, begging to be hers and giving her the kind of life she truly deserves.

Let this serve as an example to all submissive non-females out there reading this. When you find in your life the perfect FEMALE to serve, listen to no-one. Follow your heart, mind, desires and destiny. Love HER, live for HER, give to HER your all; no challenge is too great to endure, no so-called humiliation too extreme. It is the destiny of all non-females to serve, as those of us who are awakened can never go back. Surrender. Surrender and be victorious. There is true strength in submissively serving a dominant woman. I would gladly give my body for her to use as she wished, in any way, even if it meant becoming female. I do not care who knows it. I only hope, that she stills reads stories like this and sees this letter and knows, even though she at last report is married to the man she dated immediately after we broke up, if she ever needs me in any way, I am there for her, without condition. The main reason for not giving my real name is to protect her name and her privacy.

When I was younger, my sisters and her friends were real tired of me following them around all the time. I didn’t have any friends of my own so I tried to play with them, much to their displeasure. One hot summer day, I remember being irritating as usual, following the girls and their friends into their room and bugging them. One of the friends, who was also pissed I was around, suggested I be tied up to keep me under control. Then they could go to another room and play in peace. 

They all grabbed me and pushed me down on the bed face first. I was only wearing swim shorts so I could feel each of their pretty hands on my bare skin. They held me down as someone wrapped my wrists together behind me with one leg of a pair of dirty white tights. My ankles were then tied together with the other leg of the tights. They pulled everything tightly together and there I was, hog tied lying on the bed. I suddenly realized my predicament, so I began to cry out for assistance. 

One of the girls rolled up a pair of purple nylon panties and pushed them in my face, trying to get me to open my mouth so she could force them in and shut me up. I tried to keep my mouth closed so she reached down and pinched my nipple as hard as she could. She grabbed a big hand full and pulled at it like she was going to pull it off. When I opened my mouth to scream HEY! She pushed the panty in and laughed.

I immediately tried to push the panty out of my mouth so they found another pair of tights in the hamper and wrapped them around my face, tying them in the back, holding the panty gag in securely. Somehow they had positioned the soiled cotton patch in the crotch of the tights right in the middle of my mouth. I remember the taste of the slippery nylon panties, getting wetter from my mouth, and the cotton tights pushing everything in so deep. They were filling my mouth. I could only squirm against the tight nylon binds, and moan through the silky ball in my mouth.

Finally, one of the girls pulled a pair of white and pink panties over my head, covering my face completely with the front of them, again with the dirty cotton patch right in front of my nose and mouth. “That will hold the little shit for a while,” she said and they left. I could see through a leg hole in the panties, the pile of dirty panties and training bras they had dumped there from the hamper. My face was lying on some of them, silky little flat chest trainers with all sorts of tight stretchy straps and clasps. Tiny little silk and cotton panties, too, all dirty, crusty and wrinkled from being stuffed in the hamper. 

After being tied with these soft silky things, I thought I wished maybe they had forced me to wear some of the panties and bras to humiliate me, too. Then maybe they might have pulled at my nipples again, and grabbed and pinched my skin, or even spanked me and laughed at me. Four sets of girls’ hands slapping and pinching me would have been so naughty. I would have tried to wiggle a hand around somehow and pull at their bikini bottoms, or had one of them drop a top by mistake. I could have had them all naked, and touching me…

For years later as I would jerk off, these were the thoughts that raced through my mind. Me, forced to wear girls underwear, bound and gagged and touched by pretty girls. Later I learned there were lots of guys who liked little boys in girls’ panties, too. So sometimes I would imagine being forced and manhandled by some strong guys. But the girl fantasy was the best. I would even tie myself up with their nylons, and wear their bras and panties as I jacked off. I’d steal them from the hampers, and gag myself with them like what had happened years before. 

During one of my fantasy sessions, in walk a couple of my sister’s friends. They were both living at the local college. I was sitting up with my hands tied with nylons in front of me sliding my fingers up and down around my hard cock. I’d pulled on a pair of black control top pantyhose and was wearing a red C cup bra stuffed with panties. I had the matching pair of red silk panties hanging part way out of my gagged mouth. 

I immediately tried to reach up to pull out the gag as I was standing, ready to run out the door. “I told you we would find him like this again!” Once more they all pushed me down on the bed and finished tying me up more securely. Slapping my ass and pinching me hard as they did. They wrapped more and more stockings and pantyhose around my arms, ankles and face, tying them all so tight I couldn’t move, or cry out, or see at all. When I was secure, they all laughed, and told me they had a surprise for my sissy little ass.

The girls all seemed to be moving away, out the door and gone, really, except for one. I heard the door close as the others said goodbye, and then lock. I cringed as I felt the pinch on my nipple, and a hand on my ass, sliding up under the pantyhose, and down between my cheeks. The pinching of one nipple, then the other continued as the other hand slipped deeper under the pantyhose, spreading my cheeks, tickling my little ass hole. I tried to mumble something but the panty gag I had put there was doing a fine job of quieting me. I just whined and tried to wiggle away, but couldn’t. Soon the fingers were gripping and fondling my chest, and the others were probing just into my tight little asshole. 

A voice and warm breath whispered in my ear. “You like all of this, don’t you?” was the question. But this was not a cute young college girl’s voice. It sounded more like a guy. But there I was, caught red handed, dressed like a sissy boy, jerking off in a girl’s underwear like a twink. The fact that I had not noticed one of the girl’s friends was a guy, didn’t surprise me. I was in such a hurry - surprised there with my dick in my hand. 

He asked again, and all I could do was nod yes. Apparently that was all the encouragement he needed, he dropped back behind me, pulled down the pantyhose and spread my cheeks with both hands. He slipped his warm wet tongue right into my little hole, wiggling and licking it as he did. I moaned “Oh Shit” through the gag, and tried to roll away, but with no success. 

“You little sissy slut, you got me so hot in your pretty red underwear, all tied up and gagged like this. I want to fuck you all day and all night long.” With that I felt his long hard probing cock head slip just inside my wet virgin ass. He gripped my ass cheeks hard and spread them wide as he began to pump in and out just a little bit at a time. 

He hesitated once, reached into his pocket and dripped some cold slippery lube down my crack and into my hole. I moaned and jerked as he reentered me and slid in further than before. Soon he was sliding in and out slapping my ass with one hand and feeling my chest up with the other. When he came I didn’t think my ass could hold his huge cock and the load, too.

My ass dribbled cum for a long time after he left. I was helpless there, tied and gagged and violated. He told me he would be back in a couple of hours and we would try some new games. He told me he wanted to see me suck his big cock, and watch my face as he squirted cum in my mouth and all over my face and cute red bra. He told me he would teach me to be a good little cock whore for him, and some of his friends, and that I would like it. 

I untied myself before he came back. I’m too embarrassed to talk to the girls any more. I haven’t found out who the guy was either. I still dress up pretty and jerk off, but now I have a new experience to think about when I do