| |
|
|
Home |
|
|
|
|
Browse |
|
|
|
|
|
Live |
|
|
|
|
Join |
|
Collarspace |
|
|
|
|
Dating |
|
|
|
|
News |
|
|
|
|
Mobile |
|
|
|
|
Alt |
|
|
|
|
Safety |
|
|
|
|
Toys |
|
|
|
|
Friends |
|
|
|
|
Resources |
|
|
|
|
Welcome |
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Login |
|
|
 |
|
 | |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
| |
As I enter my fourth consecutive month on hormones. I find myself with softer skin, weakness, and welcome changes feminizing my body. The pills have changed my demeanor, and certainly increased my submissive tendencies. I find myself thinking about Men even more, and cock of course...and I find myself more emotional and more needy of a strong Man to serve.
|
|
|
|
|
Servicing Straight Men
Actually i only service Real Men, not gay guys. i am attracted to masculine working class hunky Men and for a couple of years i have been servicing a guy named Ron. The first time we met i was dressed as Victoria, and we had a great time. Since then though, Ron has used me when I've been dressed as a man, at work. he just needs my mouth.
It's convenient for him when he travels to my area for work, to call me up and arrange to stop by my office for a closed door meeting. He pulls down his pants and sits in my leather office chair and while he looks at a straight guy magazine always featuring big boobs. Before he lets me suck him he slips on a rubber...a Magnum gold.
Yes, i suck him through a rubber! I've gotten used to the taste. He is a married guy and won't let anyone but his wife at his naked cock. Ron is about 40, hairy, with a nice fat cock and furry balls, which i am allowed to lick.Today he instructed me to suck him gently, so i did, wanting to obey Him. His cock was really juicy today, throbbing and i could hear his breathing change. There i was down on my hands and knees, fully clothed, servicing this naked working Man who was nude from the waist down!
He started moving the chair, moving in and out of my mouth. I could feel the big tit mag hitting the top of my head. Knowing what he was reading i tried to imagine having big breast implants, and how they would feel swaying underneath me as i dutifully sucked. Would it please him to play with my breasts?
He stood up and started to use my mouth like a pussy, which i adore! i instinctively put my hands behind my back as if i were handcuffed. He fucked my mouth for several minutes, it seemed to excite him when he buried it and i choked a little. When he finally shot, he peeled off the rubber and handed it to me. I was dizzy as i licked the rubber clean of his sperm, taking the entire thing into my mouth. A bit got on his hairy leg but i licked that up like a good gurl.
|
| |
| |
|
|
I'm confused
All my life I have been attracted to Real Men, manly Men. Bu there is a man out there who has gotten into my head who is a real contradiction. On one hand he wants to use me, to feel my mouth pleasure him and he wants my ass real bad. The thing is, he likes to dress up himself, and wants to be feminized himself, by force if necessary, with hormones. i have already told him if he is unable to satisfy me as a Man i don't see a future for us. For me he expects me to live a female lifestyle, which may include castration. I've always thought some Man would come along and take whatever remaining masculinity i have away from me, but i expected him to be dominating and masculine.
So I don't know what I am dealing with but it's terribly confusing. There's such a contradiction here I'm not sure how to react. while it is true that he seems to understand what I need, and he wants to own me...how can I submit when i know he has these deep seated desires?
Part of the dilemma for me is that my own father revealed himself to me to be a cross dresser when i was just a boy, so i can understand what he may be feeling. My father wanted the same thing i guess, and yes that includes wanting to fuck my tight little boy ass. He had an amazing cock which was always horny and looking for pleasure. |
| |
| |
|
|
I feel kind of liberated! Oh, part of it is just that spring is in the air...but the truth is
I have been on kind of a roller coaster. I have to stop caring for the men who I meet on this site and just be thankful for the attention I do get from Men who are actually what they say, and who live near me so that I can meet them face to face and submit to them.
Of course the down side is that while Wisconsin is a very nice place to live, the Men here are a bit vanilla...but still quite tasty! Don't get me wrong, I love cock, and submitting to real Men, but I need more...I need pain, I need humiliation and mind fucking.
It's happened a few times, despite resisting I have developed actual feelings for some of the FetLife members who I have come to know, which is silly of me. You can't trust relationships that you form online. I should know better than to open myself up like that.
There is fantasy and there is reality. My motto for spring is Get a grip girl, and have some fun!
|
| |
| |
|
|
Gosh I feel incredibly feminine and submissive today!
A package arrived yesterday from ebay, another sissy purchase of mine. A pair of silky pale yellow vanity fair petti pants! They feel incredible, so smooth and they go half way down my legs. As I walk I can feel the inch of pretty lace at the bottoms of the leg openings gently caress my smooth legs mmm!
By the way my toenails have been painted a very pretty shade of pink for a week now. I can't stop this descent |
| |
| |
|
|
At Christmastime I always plan on buying a few special things for the girl in me.
I just purchased a really pretty strawberry colored corset with black trim and garters. It's strapless, which is really good for when a Man might choose to torture my nipples, something that I truly love! It zips up the front and laces up the back and the laces are nice and sturdy so they do a great job of giving me some curves.
I also picked up some stockings for it and found a couple pairs of terrific earrings. One pair is gold, with a descending teardrop of faux diamonds that are very sparkly, in fact I am wearing them now and loving how they feel when I move my head. The other pair are rectangular clear blue stones, set in silver. They are really pretty, and will be lovely with my turquoise colored corset.
I feel don slipping away more and more.
Happy Holidays, kittens! |
| |
| |
|
|
Hello Kittens
I've taken 3 vacation days, spent as a woman. I've been fully dressed including wig and makeup. Yesterday i feasted on 2 loads of delicious pungent mancum, form 2 separate Men of course.
My first load was pumped down my throat as my nipples were twisted and the Man moaned loudly. The second was from a man who wanted to obey me. Very well, i said...and immediately put him into a pretty pair of leopard print panties. When he came he was on his back. My mouth sucked him dry through the panties and when he came one of my hands was focused on his left nipple, which i pinched painfully between my fingertips, and with the other hand his tight manhole was clamped down on my index finger as i pushed it in and out rhythmically. When he came it was so intense his whole body was shaking.
And after the Men left me digesting their sperm, i returned to my household duties, cleaning and doing dishes and i made pudding.
It's days like this that really tempt me to be a submissive sexy housewife to a Man who appreciates being worshipped. |
| |
| |
|
|
Gosh, that was satisfying!
I dressed in my pretty new turquoise colored corset, with tiny little matching g string (still enough fabric to cover up my embarrassingly tiny little male bits), with stockings and some jewelry of course. I had applied some White Diamonds skin lotion to my entire body (don't you just love Liz? I saw her again on TCM the other night starring in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, and she looked beautiful. I've always loved the pretty white chiffon dress she wore in the movie, with a deep neckline, and the full skirt mmm) anyway I felt incredibly soft and submissive. I wore my shoulder length dark blonde wig, which matches my real hair color. My eyes were done with dark gray above the lid, then blended into a violet color, my lips were painted with purple lipstick, the kind you paint on. I felt luscious...
my Men were ravenous. I asked the first Man, my local hairy bear, to be rough with me, and he was. I built him up to the brink and then back down again several times, sucking his meaty cock slowly and deeply, rhythmically. All the while he was pulling at my titties, trying to make them grow for his pleasure, pinching and twisting my nipples, or he had his hands around my throat, guiding me. He ordered me to sit down on the floor, my back to the couch, and towering above me, he fucked my mouth to completion. It was so intense my wig fell off and he just didn't care, in fact he grabbed me by the boy hair and fucked my mouth like a cunt until he spewed. He ordered me to drink every drop, and I did. Gosh there was a lot!
My second gentleman was the retired professor who I have been servicing for twenty years or more, first as a gay boi, and now as a woman. He held and kissed me for awhile, as he would any other woman, and he chewed on my nipples deliciously. I just love that...
I put an elastic cock strap around his package. It's very small, but terribly sweet, and bigger than me of course. It was incredibly suckable and his little smooth balls were so full and round when I licked them. His orgasm was very intense, he cried out in pleasure, and I fed for the second time.
I love being Victoria!
|
| |
| |
|
|
Hello Cats and kittens
It's been a crazy last couple of weeks, I've been refinishing floors and haven't been able to be fully dressed or able to pleasure any cock!
Needless to say, I am ravenous!
After I finish shaving my soft body I will be dressing up completely and letting Victoria live fully. I have 2 Men coming over this afternoon who need their cocks sucked until they feed me. Not at the same time, they are both very private of course, but one after the other. By the time the second Man arrives and takes me into his arms and kisses me, it is my goal he will taste the other man's sperm in my mouth. He'll like that, he's naughty. |
| |
| |
|
|
I'm going back on my hormones
I've ordered a 3 month supply of estrofem, which will be here in about 3 weeks. and to supplement them I also ordered an herbal called triple strength mammary, which is in pill form. I am hoping the combination will make me even more feminine and encourage further loveliness in my breasts and nipples.
I also need to let the hormones affect my mind and reduce the internal conflict that makes me fight my instincts to resist feminization.
My nipples have become such an erogenous zone for me, and if a Man isn't pulling and pinching on them then I am |
| |
| |
|
|
Well it's Saturday and the roomie is off on a short errand. I never dress around him, but am always pantied. So I am in the kitchen making brownies (from scratch, I will have you know) and I just had the overwhelming urge for cock in my bottom. So I just acted on instinct and lubed up a silicone butt plug and after a few delightful thrust in and out to open me up, I grimaced and accepted the wide part of the bulb passing the outer ring of my pussy.
It's been a few hours now, and the plug feels pretty good until I sit down and then it hurts. But that's the fate of a sissy who has failed at being a real Man, isn't it...several pleasure holes to be invaded by cock.
I think I will wear the plug all day, and by tonight I should be sliding in even the fattest of my dildo collection. I don't know what's wrong with me, needing to be filled like this when just doing ordinary things. Perhaps some conversations I have had with a big strong Man who tells it the way it is, confident of his place and mine, has made me feel this way. |
| |
| |
|
|
I had an incredibly submissive lunch hour, and you might say it was a liquid lunch.
There's a guy I service orally now and then, and today his wife was away and he was working a different shift, so he beckoned me over to his place. I stripped down to my pink panties, and pink lipstick..and crawled between his meaty thighs.
I sucked his small cock like it was the tastiest treat in the whole world, and I must admit its one of those cocks that just comes alive in your mouth, pulsing and all. Well after I sucked him off and he silently shot his mancream down my throat I kept on his softening cock for about an hour. It would get hard, then go softer, and without warning he flooded my hot mouth with his salty piss.
He gave me a lot, more than I could handle, and some of it went on my face at one point. The warmth felt wonderful and then I was back on it. I did a really good job of swallowing everything he gave me, and I was wet with piss as was his body. I felt incredibly submissive and dirty covered in piss and trying to keep up with the flow of his urine. Of course I moaned and felt his body the entire time, even stopping to lick his right foot, which he did not expect.
I asked if anyone else sucked his cock, and he said no. His wife is a big girl and I suppose he fucks her from time to time, but he confirmed I am his cock sucker. There's no romantic relationship of course, just a cock and a hungry mouth coming together. I squirmed in my pink panties the entire time.
|
| |
| |
|
|
i feel wonderful!
I'm wearing a very feminine outfit, a real woman's outfit, not some cheap cliché French maid's uniform or dressing like a prostitute or slut. It's something I would wear to a nice dinner i guess, and I look and feel pretty. Shimmery gold silk and lace blouse over a butternut colored polyester skirt that hits right at the knee. Underneath my favorite pink bra with some small gel inserts, and matching pink panties which I have pulled up over my pantyhose. I am shaved smooth from the neck down.
I am also wearing a wide pearl bracelet, which about half an hour ago I had cradling a Man's big hairy balls as I sucked him giggle. Oh, and earrings of course, kind of a vintage starburst of pearls and little fake diamonds. A pearl ring is in my left hand. I feel very pretty and submissive right now. It was a big load of mancum that Mr Hairy Bear shot down my throat. Gosh, I think I swallowed eight times!
He may come back Thursday, I will be home doing housework fully dressed and made up. He should have stored up enough cum by then to feed me lots of warm spermies!
|
| |
| |
|
|
I shaved my legs silky smooth this morning, and applied a pretty lotion to my soft skin followed by some baby powder. Mmm i love feeling silky like this! Being shaved like this is a constant reminder what a sissy i am, and my lack of masculinity.
i can't wait for a Man to run his hands over my legs! |
| |
| |
|
|
I made a sissy shoot her goo online this morning
The sissy is always messaging me looking for tittilation, desiring to service Moi, a failure as a man who is now smooth, pantied and learning makeup techniques.
How did I make her cum, you may ask...well I described spanking her ass while she is in garter belt and stockings, her petticoats up over her ass. And then when her bottom is sufficiently red then diving into her pussy hole with a hot tongue followed by a regimen of dildoes as she squirms and can't get away
that did it for her, she creamed her sissy panties in the most shameful manner tsk tsk |
| |
| |
|
|
This is one of those days when i need a Real Man to slap me in the face, remind me i am a sissy cock sucking slut, and force me to my knees before a big manly
prick in need of attention. The kind of attention, no ...devotion...that a real Man's cock deserves.
With a whimper i open my cuntlike mouth and lick and suck and draw the essence out of my Man until his seed blasts down my throat and becomes a part of me.
God i am such a pathetic girly cock pleaser. |
| |
| |
|
|
I am So close to purchasing a new corset squeal! It's SO pretty...hot pink with black piping and accents, I have held it in my hands a few times, wanting it. Unless you are a sissy gurl like me then you know how exciting it is to buy something pretty that makes you feel even more girly!
Like Natalie Wood in West Side story I see myself in it, standing in front of a mirror, caressing my breasts and proclaiming....
"I'm a girl Mommy, a pretty girl...oh Mommy I'm PRETTY!"
Of course in my case the Mommy might be a matronly tranny in foundation garments and sporting a very unwomanly erection, but what the hell... Pretty is Pretty! |
| |
| |
|
|
Such a strange day
Going from fantasizing about Marco Rubio's ass to baking an apple pie to the horror of watching the last 45 minutes of Xanadu with Olivia Newton John and Gene Kelly, and that tasty blonde boy from the street gang movie the Warriors, what in hell were they thinking? |
| |
| |
|
|
Started this morning with coffee and a bowl
Was watching Fox and grooved on Marco Rubio, god he's a handsome man! I imagined him on black leather, a harness or something which allowed ample view of his hairy little body. I imagined him astride my face, fucking my mouth, and then pulling out before cumming, turning around and spreading his cheeks, and gasping as I am engulfed in his hot, hairy little pink hole, my tongue pleasing it as it twitched and opened up |
| |
| |
|
|
I woke up today thinking about my Man, and it wasn't really about pleasuring his big juicy cock, I couldn't shake the thought of Rob coming up behind me and holding me, his big strong arms around me. I thought of him at my neck nuzzling me as I felt his cock up against the crack of my ass, reminding me who was the Boss in this relationship. |
| |
| |
|
|
Last night, after the house calmed down for sleep, I was a bad girl, all at the direction of my Man, Rob. At his direction I put on nothing more than a short black skirt, a black and white silk blouse, and short black heels.
I was directed to sit in a vehicle in the dark and await his phone call. I felt so vulnerable in my ladies wear, in the dark, in the cab of the pickup. It was pitch black, and when the phone rang I jumped. It was Him. Mmmm what a sexy southern voice, so masterful and yet playful.
He had me strip nude, and after scolding me for not thinking to take along the rubber dildo that matches his own mighty meat, I began shoving my fingers in and out of my asspussy at his direction, first one then two, faster and faster as he listened to me moan.
So there I was, in the pitch black, naked in the cab of a pickup, spreading my legs as wide as possible, thrusting into my hole with one hand while holding the phone with the other and grooving to the sexy voice of the Man who has claimed me.
It was quite an erotic experience, and the next time I will make sure I have the dildo with me, whether I am told or not.
I cannot resist Him. |
| |
| |
|
|
What a dumb twat!
The reason I couldn't find my makeup is because it is from Maybelline! It's very nerve wracking, buying makeup, with women lurking around, looking at you and wondering why the hell a guy would be buying makeup |
| |
| |
|
|
Shit! I can't find my preferred makeup by L'oreal, it's called Dream Matte. But I will keep popping in to stores here and there to try to find it, I love how it covers and matches my skin. And it's not liquid, which can be a real mess.
Well anyway, that's what's going on in my world today, that and fantasizing about a certain big hunk of a Man from Atlanta! |
| |
| |
|
|
i'm about out of estrofem, I bought it online and have been taking it for months now. I'm thinking though of ordering something else, something called triple strength mammary. I took this for awhile about 19 yrs ago, and after taking it for awhile my nipples actually started bumping out like 2 cherries, it was really erotic, but it scared me and I stopped. I couldn't wear a tight shirt because I looked like a junior high girl or something.
So I'm thinking that might be what I want to try for a while. The estrofem has really feminized my body and while my nipples have become more pink and definitely more sensitive I want to recreate that budding breast look. But I'm not sure what I should do.
I have become so terribly fond of pulling and pinching really hard on my nipples, I can't seem to stop it, and if I am playing with my little clit be assured my free hand is pinching the hell out of one of my tits lol |
| |
| |
|
|
So I went home and decided to have a Rolling Rock. I felt a real dose of reality when I tried to unscrew the cap and I couldn't do it. I tried several times and then just used a can opener.
It just reminded me what a weak sissy I am, and I blushed thinking of asking a Real Man like my Southern Gentleman to open it for me. The hormones and mental conditioning have obviously changed me, and any attempts to repress my sissy side are kind of silly, aren't they? |
| |
| |
|
|
i probably shouldn't be updating this journal right now, because frankly I don't feel very feminine. I've had a difficult day at work and have pretty much buried Victoria.
Sometimes it's hard for someone like me to balance all this out and today is one of those days |
| |
| |
|
|
I went to Wal Mart today for some things, you know, the usual domestic crap, and felt a surge of feminine neediness overwhelm me. I went over to the makeup aisles and looked for some products in the L'Oreal section and found they didn't carry my preferred makeup. I'm sure the women who passed by wondered about the guy in the shirt and tie examining the makeup selections but I didn't care.
I then worked my way back to the hosiery selection. Oh I didn't expect quality thigh high stockings that could be attached to my corsets or garter belts but I did pick up a fresh pair of pantyhose in my size.
As I get more and more comfortable with my sissy femme side I find that it's easier to buy these things. I will wear the pantyhose tonight with a pretty nightie. The downside of pantyhose of course is that if i decide I need to have that big thick dildo in my asspussy that matches the cock of my lover Rob i will have to pull them down.
A small price to pay, I guess, to have him inside me tonight. |
| |
| |
|
|
I never thought I could develop feelings for a Man I met online, and haven't yet met physically, but it's true. I know it's real...and it is exciting and also a bit scary. And it's not just a sex thing, I do crave to please him of course, but it's way beyond that, i long to be with him, to spend time with Him and take care of him. Kind of sappy maybe, but I'm being honest. |
| |
| |
|
|
I don't know why but I was desperate to get home today and into the pink bra that matches the panties I was wearing. Of course I put in my breast inserts, and it made me feel so incredibly feminine and submissive. |
| |
| |
|
|
i need to submit to a Man, to feel his weight on me, his cock inside me. Thank goodness god created dildoes! |
| |
| |
|
|
Hello There
i spent a long weekend travelling to the heartland, and spent the time as a male, though a gay one of course. victoria came out as you might expect, i spent some time tending to a toddler in a very motherly way and gossiped a bit with the other lady in attendance, facts that were noticed i am sure by the traditional Men in attendance.
On Sunday morning i had a rare few hours of alone time, and i immediately put on my pretty white brassiere, matching panties and a short white slip and sat outside in the breezy shade of some oak trees and was just me for awhile. It felt so good!
Right now i am fully done up. A black silk blouse with shoulder pads and little white polka dots, a short black skirt and pantyhose. i am wearing the white lingerie set under it, along with some silicone breast inserts in the cups of the brassiere. i am wearing gold earrings and a black and gold necklace. i am beautifully made up with my shoulder length blonde wig. It's kind of a dark blonde, which transitions into dark browns as it falls to my shoulders.
i feel pretty and wish i could be kissed. |
| |
| |
|
|
After a long day of pretending to be a man in business wear, i simply couldn't wait to come home, dicard those inappropriate items of clothing, and slip into something soft and pretty
victoria needed to feel pretty and sexy kitten
So i stripped down to my pretty pink panties and put on a short silky robe, i thought it was leopard but you know, i think it is more snow leopard, or maybe cheetah or some damn thing...some kind of ferocious man eating feline
you may make the connection yourselves, i certainly can't stop you. i wouldn't dream of it.
i love how my breasts seem to protrude now, my nipples so erect and stimulated by rubbing on the silky fabric. i can only imagine the thrill of having some nice full titties! Not great big ones mind you, maybe a nice c cup. i would lean back and moan as a Man sucks on them and bites them, the nipples. Nothing makes me feel more submissive. |
| |
| |
|
|
i feel so feminine and submissive
Fresh from the bath, my skin is softened by baby powder and i am wearing an apple green silky robe. As i gently stroke across my pert nipples i am reminded how far i have strayed from the path of masculinity. |
| |
| |
|
|
Since my computer crashed it's been like withdrawal not being online. Yesterday i got home a bit early and since it was warm and sunny for a change...i put on nothing more than a mauve colored silky thong and went out to lay on the deck. i painted my nails again, and then sunned on both sides, wishing a certain person was there to climb on top of me, push that thong out of the way, and force him self inside me as i wiggled and moaned..Oh Rob |
| |
| |
|
|
A fine Man helped me see today that victoria has indeed taken control of my life, that my male persona is just a secondary being now, and that imitation of masculinity is headed for extinction..
There is no more denial in me, no more doubt and indecision. i must make the necessary adjustments to live the rest of my life as a female, it won't be easy and it won't happen overnight, but the love and support of a good strong Man will give me the strength to do what must be done, and i will be happy and fulfilled.
i am victoria. |
| |
| |
|
|
The old tug of war continues, at times i feel mad at myself that i can't just be a normal guy, hell a guy at all...and suppress the sissy side of me. But then something happens, like being around a group of straight guys in a social setting, you know, a family thing with cousins and their hubbies...and it just smacks me in the face that i am not one of them, that i don't fit in.
When i feel awkward like that and it hits me, the reminder of my true nature, i find i can't help myself from imagining what those guys cocks are like based on the bulges in their jeans, and i get distracted by thinking about what it would be like to be on my knees sucking on them, god if they only knew.... |
| |
| |
|
|
For a long time now, i feel i have been living two lives. People who know me don't realize the war that rages inside me, between the male identity i was born with, and the female in me that is taking more and more control. victoria is a very real person, with needs and desires. The desire to be loved, to be wanted, to be close to a Man as a lover and a companion.
i feel when i am pretending to be male that i am somewhat of a fraud. How can i explain to the people who only know me as don, that don is fading away. i don't want to hurt anyone, i just want to be me.
victoria needs to live her life, and to be complete i must have the love and support of a strong dominant Man. A Man to guide me, to use me, to remind me what and who i truly am, and yes, to love me as a woman.
Some gurls like me bury these feelings, many struggle with them, few have the courage to take it the the nth degree. And i don't know if i have that courage or not, but i am keeping my mind and my heart open.
A Man named Rob has come into my life, and he may indeed be The Man, the one who understands and knows what i need. As time progresses we will see. i already have a strong desire to be with him physically and to feel his arms around me and his lips on mine, and i know satisfying his needs will bring me the greatest pleasure. |
| |
| |
|
|
Today is a special day. Today a Man who i have met on this site only a few days ago has claimed ownership of me, and i surrendered to His will. He is a strong powerful Man, he is handsome and well educated and deserving of someone like me who can offer him the devotion He needs and deserves. He has decided, at least at this point, that i meet his needs, i hope that i am worthy of His attention.
i have been instructed to write here daily, to describe my journey of submission to Him.
He is strong and masculine, what i am not. i am a sissy, a submissive who i believe was put on this earth to serve a fine Man such as this. i don't believe i have the power to resist Him.
He is strong and i am weak.
So, as instructed, i have painted my toenails for Him, a pretty shade of pearly pink.
And as instructed by Him, i have found a suitable dildo from my collection that matches the size of his majestic cock, 7 1/2 inches. i will now suck on it while i look at the picture of His handsome face, and his strong body. After a few minutes i will place His cock where it belongs, where He intends to put the real thing...into my asspussy. |
| |
| |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
