|
I've recently been reminded that I still let a significant amount of time pass before making another journal entry here. I admit that I have moved on from CS to Fet and FB for most of my deviant communication.
I have reviewed my profile and little has changed to warrant updating it except for a few added comments. I'm still the same person looking for the same things in life and bdsm.
Perhaps I can come back here and share a few life stories or fantasies. We'll see what the demand brings. ;-) |
| |
| |
|
|
I started to update my journal again on 4/13/2011...this time saying Wow! Two more years have gone by in a blink of the eye.
Looks like I hesitated by nearly three months.
It has been an interesting couple of years with my teenager grown up and going to college this fall. In that time I have found a special submissive that brings me much joy and with it inevitable drama It is that drama that gives me cause not to write here.
I do maintain hope that all will balance and fall into place in its sweet time. For now I continue to embrace this great lifestyle and the very small circle of friends that engage in it. I promise my next journal post will not be three or four years later. ;-) |
| |
| |
|
|
Wow! Has it really been a year since my last entry. Shows you how busy I have been. I have been to the local Dungeon a few more times but not nearly as often as I would have liked this year. What got in the way is a vanilla relationship has basically stalled because I feel a big part of me is empty and I want to get back to my true form as a Dominant attending group discussions, munches and taking part in the dungeon with select subbies. Of course dressing up for Ren Faires isn't off my list of activities but I am going to spend less time with vanilla friends and spend more time with like minded adults in the bdsm lifestyle. The only sad part of all this is that the circle of friends available in this lifestyle is soooooo small compared to the vanilla world. I just know I am more at home here than anywhere else.
|
| |
| |
|
|
The most exciting weekend in the last month was most definitely last weekend. I had been talking with a friend from Lousianna and she traveled with a submissive friend of hers to Texas to attend the opening day of Scarborough Renaissance Faire. We all attended together. I had been there a few times before but I had never attended with anyone that dressed in character. I always dressed comfortably for Texas and of course was considered naked to those dressed in character. The two submissive wenches that escorted me through the Faire were dressed very nicely in character. I'm thinking that the next time I attend I will have a leather vest and some leather boots. I'll have to also find somethings to wear around my waist and maybe just maybe wear a kilt in full regimental form. Hmmm Got a visual yet. LOL I did get some considerable sun that day but it didn't turn into burn. Just a head start for the summer. Just going to the Ren Faire would have been the end to a perfect day. However it was topped off by attending the local Dungeon again with two lovely submissives. A special speaker, Robert Rubel was there to talk about the lifestyle and present his literary works. I bought a book and had him autograph it for me. A book about Masters and Slaves written for the Master. So far it has been excellent reading. Another great thing that happened that evening was finally getting to met someone I had been chatting with for a while. Neither of us were dressed in character for the Dungeon but it was a great night for open talk and meeting new people. That's it for this week. Drop me a message if you wish for me to continue this.
|
| |
| |
|
|
I know it has been a month since my last entry. Sadly the closer it gets to summer the less time I want to spend indoors chained to a computer.
|
| |
| |
|
|
I wanted to pick back up here and begin again. I have met some really wonderful people in the last few months. I have attended a few community nights and a munch or two and even 4th Friday for the last couple of months. All is good. No drama here. My thoughts have been wandering across state boundries to new acquaintances. I have also met some charming new people locally as well. So many wonderful thoughts to the point that I might have to continue on with my story which stalled due to lack of inspiration. I am looking forward to the opening of the Scarborough Ren Faire in April. I have also purchased advanced tickets to an annual music festival coming up next month. Plus I am planning my summer vacation. I took my son to the passport office. We are going to go somewhere this summer outside of the US. Probably our last big deal as father and son. Teenagers grow up so fast and leave the nest with new found independance so quickly. Anyway let me know if you care whether I continue to write here. Writing is a passion of mine that I'd like to keep at the forefront. -
|
| |
| |
|
|
This is my journal or diary. I am not so closed minded as to wish to keep it private. Some of what is contained here is just a fictional story board for expanding thoughts and possible fantasies. Other things may reference what is going on in my world at the time but no one is mentioned here by name. If for some reason you feel connected and offended by what I write it may be because you cannot handle the truth and it probably hurts to be reminded of it. If that is the case you can choose not to read it.
|
| |
| |
|
|
OK, I gave up on this for awhile. I was thinking why bother, no one reads it anyway except to criticize what I wrote or attack my personal thoughts. Certainly not to tell me to keep on writing.
|
| |
| |
|
|
Has it been a week already? I just got back from a good discussion group today. Negotiation was the topic. An area where I feel I can improve. The biggest part of negotiation is two-way communication. It was also an afternoon of seeing old friends and some new friends again. I was really in the mood for setting up a play date but decided that maybe just staying in this evening is a good idea. Maybe I can even concentrate on finishing my story. *grin*
|
| |
| |
|
|
There is nothing like an awesome get together at the local Dungeon to get ones creative juices flowing. A great demonstration of medical sounding adapted for BDSM play was observed. There were both male and female volunteers. What a willing group. The single tail whip instruction and demo was also very enlightening. This master needs to look into the purchase of a fine whip for accuracy practice and eventual use in time. A good evening...er...morning. Hence the reason I am still up and just now posting. :-)
|
| |
| |
|
|
Well there is nothing like a good get together among friends in the lifestyle to help a person forget. Tonight, while at the local Dungeon Community Night, I witnessed a couple of excellent scenes using latex body paint and then the removal of said paint. It was fun being part of the removing team. Kind of like stretching a rubber band but don't let it snap back unless you want a yelp. Oh, and body hair...hmm lets just say that can be problematic without some tea tree oil on hand. Smiles. It was a good evening.
|
| |
| |
|
|
This entry was edited to protect the innocent. No further explanation is needed. The beginning of 2008 had a rocky start for me but hopefully it will be buried with new and wonderful things to come. Happy New Year everyone! Smile
|
| |
| |
|
|
Sir John smiled and stood in front of the submissive kneeling on the floor with her eyes lowered and positioned for her Dom. He had in his hand the studded leather collar with rings. He leaned over and carefully attached it around her neck bringing the straps into position and securing it tightly but not so much as to choke her. He wanted her to be able to breathe well and deeply as needed. They had already agreed on a safe word or rather three words. There was 'RED' when she had reached her hard limit. There was 'Green' which basically conveyed the message 'tighter, harder, more of whatever treatment was being administered'. Then there was 'Yellow' that indicated that she was very much feeling the discipline but wanted the Dom to continue. She knew if she uttered the word Red that the Dom would stop, the scene would end and he would be very disappointed with her. He may even withhold rewards since he would disapprove of her not trusting him to protect her and be tolerant of her limits.
|
| |
| |
|
|
Sir John walked into the bedroom and saw that submissive had already placed much of her underware on the bed for review. The Dom was pleased to see that the submissive was trying to please him. Sir John walked to the closet and thumbed through several blouses and skirts on hangers. Nothing stood out or caught Sir John's attention as much as the outfit that the subbie was presently wearing. The selection was very vanilla. Then he proceeded to the dresser drawers and examined the submissives other articles of clothing and underwear that were not already laid out on the bed. A few items he was attracted to but not any more than what she had on. He would have suggestions for future clothing and even make some purchases himself for this very special submissive.
Sir John asked the submissive to clear off the bed and prepare for presentation. He was going to the living room and would return with His bag of toys. They had already discussed in detail some of the different presentation positions that would be expected of the submissive. She had already stood standing with her hands to her side and eyes lowered with Sir John performed the first inspection. She knew at this point that he expected her to waiting knelt on the floor with her knees spread apart and hands on her thighs. This is one of Sir Johns favorite positions.
The Dom walked into the bedroom and put his bag on the bed. He unzipped the bag and took out several coiled bundles of rope. He also took out a bag of toys that rattled and clacked. He also pulled out some metal handcuffs, two pair of leather cuffs and a leather collar. The collar was black with metal pointed studs and four rings attached to it. The cuffs each had two rings each. Finally he pulled out a leather crop, a heavy leather flogger with lots of leather strands and a wooden paddle with holes drilled through it. The paddle made a nice swishing sound when it was swung through the air. It would leave some nice red welts where it found contact on the subbie. There was one more instrument that was less of a toy and more of a torture device. It was red and black wide at the bottom where it was gripped and became thinner and pointed toward the end with two copper contacts just about a quarter inch apart. This Dom had some sinister plans for the subbie that included some electrical play as well. He would be exploring her limits this evening. Its use would be determined by the limits discovered by the coming scene.
|
| |
| |
|
|
This Sir has been struggling lately on how to continue this journal/story. It started out aimed at one in particular but has expanded to include others. It is not easy to bring a story to life so that everyone who reads it can place themselves in the scenario. Though I hope many can enjoy it. I have stumbled across one that is currently making me very happy. At the same time happiness comes with trials that require patience and decisions that have consequences I wish I didn't have to deal with. Enlightenment is wonderful but cuts like a blade whereas ignorance had kept me protected behind a nice emotional wall. I will post the next chapter and try to be more generic in titles.
|
| |
| |
|
|
Sir John inspected the submissive. She had done well to match his expectations for the evening but he still may yet ask her to change again to see how well she obeyed or if she would protest. He knew that she had been very nervous about what to wear and wanted so much to please him this night.
Patricia stood in front of him wearing a sheer black button up blouse with the top four buttons unbuttoned. It wouldn't have mattered if they were unbuttoned or not due to the see through material. Under the blouse was a black lace push up half-bra. It provided nothing more than support and lift. Patricias hard nipples wear poking over the top of the bra standing out as soldiers stand in straight attention. They were lovely behind the sheer material. Sir John would have fun playing with them tonight, teasing and squeezing them ever so firmly. In addition to the sheer blouse Patricia was wearing black thong panties with barely enough material to cover her pubic hair but still left something for the Master to think about and ponder what gifts she had to reveal. To complete the outfit Patricia wore black suede boots that reached clear up her thighs. They fit very well, tight around the calves and up just inches away from the thong. Sir John wondered just how easily they would be able to come off or if he would prefer them to stay on the entire evening. The heels on these boots were at least four inches tall. This made the submissive seem quite a bit taller but still shorter than Sir John.
The Master grined with delight and had the submissive stand still while he walked around slowly to make one last inspection. He thought to himself that this will work for now. However he still wanted to see the rest of her wardrobe. There may something else that catches his eye that would be perfect for dressing up or dressing down this submissive on this first evening together. Sir John nodded his approval and asked for a glass of wine while he sat down at the table watching Patricia move around the kitchen to reach for a glass and pour the red liquid. He left his bag that he had brought in the living room. While waited he took mental inventory of the items that he had brought. They had discussed some of the toys he owned and what he usually carried in his bag when he traveled to the local Dungeon or when attending dark parties. Though he knew that the submissive would still be surprised by the reality of it all.
In his bag Sir John carried a long back scratcher with a little carved hand on one end and a wooden roller ball on the other end. This was a very handy device for touching, swatting, scratching ever so lightly in all the right places. The bag also contained several scarves, long wooden paint stirrers, clothes pins, aligator clips, paper binders, pins and lots of rope of many different colors. Some ropes where nylon and others made of cotten. He had not planned on using anything but the rope tonight as he was just now going to learn the limits of this submissive. He did not want to terrify her before she was more familiar with him. Each person is different and has different likes, dis-likes, tollerances and familiarity with different toys and devices. He had been practicing a few new rope knots and wanted to experiment this evening with the look and feel of some of these new knots and twists.
Patricia returned with the glass of wine and Sir John sipped it eagerly and licked his lips in a circular motion while giving the submissive a wicked grin. He asked her if she was ready for the evening and if she had any questions before they proceeded to the bedroom. He still wanted to see her wardrobe. He knew that some items may be somewhat embarrassing for Patricia but that was a step towards her submission and obedience. Patricia had no questions for Sir John and lead him to the bedroom for the tour of her closet and dresser drawers.
|
| |
| |
|
|
Ok, Keep in mind that collarme blog postings do not preserve the formatting so the following may be difficult to read at times.
----
Sir John
and submissive Patricia had been in discussion for several weeks. Each of them had found
pleasure in the open discussions. They had even arranged meeting each other at
one of the local watering holes near where Patricia worked. As expected the meeting
went well. So well that they couldn't wait for an opportunity to explore
some of the things that had previously been discussed in a private setting.
Tonight is going to be the night that submissive Patricia has been
looking forward to. Tonight she will finally get to meet the Dom she has been
so open with all these days. She is apprehensive and so unsure of herself. What
if she freezes at the door? What if he is not pleased with what she is wearing?
So many insecurities and yet there is this tingling in her body that refuses to
go away until she has experienced what has been floating through her mind for
so many nights.
Sir John
has been the perfect gentleman in their conversations and when they had met for
drinks at Cool River. But this was all in public and
nothing out of the ordinary. No one had any idea that these two people had
deeper, darker secrets beneath the facade. Secret thoughts that make even
the curious minded cringe when they are revealed. Why would anyone wish to
be restrained? Surely one gets enough of being bossed around at work so as not
to want to be ordered around by an almost complete stranger. But they do not
understand that it is not the orders as much as it is giving up control and
following those orders willingly without question. Being told to do things that
may be out of the ordinary and yet very erotic and taboo. Now Patricia was
facing something closer to home and more personal. There would be no running
away or driving off. She would have to face this Sir face to face and yield to
his wishes. The tingling is back and a smile forms on her face.
The last
conversation Patricia had with Sir John outlined what was going to take place
this evening. They had been creating a scenario together that would be perfect
for a first scene. Negotiation and trust was essential prior to acting this
out. Patricia had to feel comfortable with this and trust that everything had
been reviewed in detail. That she would not be caught off guard or asked to do
something so unexpected as to ruin the evening. She had been so patiently
and quietly looking forward to this evening for some time now. There is no
turning back. Simply not answering the door or pretending not to be home would
not satisfy Sir John. She was beginning to know him quite well and appreciate
that strong aspect of his personality. She would have to let him in. She wanted
to let him in. This has been too long in coming.
It is 7pm and Sir John knocks on the door.
The time has arrived. There is that nervousness again. Oh my, this is it, the
time of reckoning. Patricia looked through the security hole. There
he stood smiling with a half grin on his face. She thought to
herself, "Don't take too long to open the door. He would view that as a
reason to punish her this evening." Patricia opens the door slowly
and takes on the full view of this Dom. He is dressed in tight black jeans and
a black velvety short sleeve shirt. His hair tossed wildly with moose or gel.
The curls cling tightly to his head. His eyes are dark almost black but have a
sinister gleam to them. He is still smiling and offers a solemn "Good
Evening". She is speechless. He remarks "Are you going to have me
wait here much longer or are you going to invite me in?" Be careful
how you answer. He may yet have a trick up his sleeve looking for a weakness
that can be exploited and used to correct her.
Submissive
Patricia steps aside and ushers her dark Dominant friend inside. He eyes her up
and down taking in how she is dressed. He asks her to turn around slowly so
that he may inspect further. They had talked about what she was to wear but he
didn't know exactly what it was to be or what she had in her wardrobe. This was
the moment when she would find out if he was pleased with her choice or have
her change into something more suitable.
-------------
I have another chapter but I'll wait to see what comments I receive before continuing. *devilish grIN*
|
| |
| |
|
|
I'm going to step out on a limb and include a story that I've been writing for an online submissive. We have not met but my creative juices have been churning out something of a fantasy for her but has some hints of real life for me. You'll have to comment on this for me to continue. Sir John
|
| |
| |
|
|
Well I may have missed the week prior but I did manage to make it to Sanctuary on July 7th. I brought a wonderful pecan pie to the munch. It is my favorite but as a diabetic I am forbidden to eat of it. So I brought it for someone else to enjoy. There was a demo going on when I arrived at 8pm. Master Niko was showing off his slave and how he was able to get her to orgasm on command. It was so very interesting. There were a lot of questions and one especially on how to tell if the slave might be faking it since most women have faked orgasms at one point or two in their life. grin He went over several ways he is able to tell. It satisfied most that were listening. The group I'm associated with had nearly 70 people there that evening. It was one of the biggest crowds I'd seen in some time. I saw many familar faces and even spanked the birthday girl for her 37 years of age. *devilish grin* The birthday girl was a close friend from years past. As for the Dungeon all of the crosses where being used all night as well as the tables. There were a few flogging benches available for periods of time. I didn't play as much as I watched and voyeured while walking around the dungeon and exchanging greetings. I did renew my membership so I'm sure I will be there much more often this year than I was last year. I was even greeted by a couple that I had mentioned Sanctuary to online. They caught me by surprise while passing and introduced themselves. All in all it was a wonderful night.
|
| |
| |
|
|
So as not to disappoint my loyal followers I have something from an unknown author that I will post here. It is directed to both Dominants and Submissives. It is called "A Submissives Ethics".
"I'm in charge!"
This a realization that some submissives have from the beginning ant that hits others like a thunderbolt.
The Dominant has Control, but the submissive chooses to be under it. The submissive chooses to kneel, and sets limits within which the Dominant controls what happens. In time, trust grows and the scope of that control will grow with it.
In a sane, safe and consensual relationship, a submissive has control over how far she submits and within what limits. It is confidence in this control, which is expressed as trust in her Dominant, that allows her to truly submit.
This includes having control over:
o safe sexual practices;
o stages in the transfer of power;
o the involvement of witnesses or participants;
o the creation of photographed, videotaped or other evidence of activities.
A submissive also has the right to be well and truly used, to have as much power as she wants to give taken, and to be taken on explorations of all the realms of experience that this power exchange will open.
A Dominant can also balk at any crossing of a boundary in these regards, and is just as capable of having limits physical or emotional. And if a Dominant does have needs or limits that may impinge on the relationship, He must disclose these factors up front. Whether they be limits on the extent of commitment He can make, a need to acquire other submissives or the need to work towards commitment and focus on monogamy. One person's limit is another's prize.
Beware anyone who starts any statement with "a good submissive/slave would...." and completes it with anything that would not be applicable to Dominant and Master as well, such as "be truthful, honest, passionate, caring and committed". A recurring issue in this regard is the Dominant who informs a slave that He desires to have another slave - and responds to her concerns with the answer "if you are a good slave you will accept this."
A "good slave" is good within her limits. This has nothing to do with whether or not she accepts particular forms of play or types of relationship. She should never confuse her true worth with how well she meets one Dominant's expectations. This is easier to do than it seems, for part of what a submissive wants is affirmation of praise and accomplishment in a Dominant's eyes; manipulative people seek to abuse this desire by convincing a submissive that surrendering on such issues is a test of their quality.
Potential partners need to have similar expectations and D/s typically includes exploring a variety of sexual practices. Whether it is sexual acts such as fellatio or anal intercourse or SM acts such as discipline and bondage, everyone has the 'buttons' they want pushed, and some they need pushed. Part of the fun of D/s is realizing just how many buttons there are and the combinations of effects they can produce.
These factors decide whether or not two people are suited to each other, not whether or not they are "good" submissives or slaves or Dominants or Masters.
If a Dominant announces to a submissive after many months that she should accept Him taking another slave; she is not being a bad slave to refuse, He is being a poor Dominant to leave telling her that he is not monogamous so late. Everyone should tell each other early in a relationship about their longer term needs and expectations.
The success of a relationship depends not on the totality of a submissive's surrender or the completeness of a Dominant's Mastery, but on the ability to discuss, to amend and develop, to grow and to find mutually desirable ways of expressing needs and exploring desires. To develop together what erotic power exchange will mean for you.
In time a submissive can trust her Dominant to make the right decisions in these regards. They will be the right decisions because with enough time He knows her well enough to make the right decision about her, and His temperment is such it will be the right decision for her as well as Him.
A submissive has the right to trust her Dominant, and to have that trust based on open communication, honesty and gradually accumulated experience. No Dominant can expect a submissive to blindly entrust Him with power over her mind or body. No sane Dominant expects this trust blindly or immediately - not only is it unreasonable, but it cheapens it.
This trust is a precious trust. There is a wonderul warth of feeling a Dominant has knowing they have received the gift of trust and submission from an intelligent, perspective and strong human being because they believe you are worth it.
As someone once said to me of their choice of a partner, "I chose him not just because I thought he would always do what he thought was right, but because I knew it would be right."
Please feel free to pass this or invite others to read it if you found it useful. It helped confirmed many of the things I already believed. It was refreshing to see that someone else believed as I did. -Sir John
|
| |
| |
|
|
Sadly I was unable to attend last weekends festivities in the Dungeon due to my ripping several layers of skin off my knee earlier in that afternoon. It is almost healed and I will be more than ready to participate this coming weekend of July 6th.
|
| |
| |
|
|
I am looking forward to meeting up with fellow deviants this evening. Some of my friends of many years will be there and I expect to make new friends this evening. It will be All good. Today I am trying to discover some new shibari rope bindings that I have not used in the past. It always helps to keep sharp (*devilish grin*) on the latest techniques.
|
| |
| |
|
|
Having come from a very pleasant vanilla vacation I am rested and ready to resume my regular domly activities. Prior to leaving for vacation there were some limited discussions with someOne interested in the area activities. I had invited that One to attend one of the bsdm power exchange discussions that occur every 4th Friday. Happily the One decided to go. Though I think it was through communication with yet another party. It pleases me that I was at least in part responsible for the interest in the group. Maybe We will meet as a result.
|
| |
| |
|
|
I am not much into BLOGS as in this lifestyle I find it necessary to maintain some anonimity from the public to protect my vanilla career. I am in the public often and it might be that something would be used in a blog against me in some way to harm family, friends or my career.
Today I received a question about my likes and dislikes. I tried to explain that I have been in the Alternative Lifestyle for over a decade and have made friends from all walks include BDSM, Swinging and Poly Relationships. Having an open mind and being non-judgemental without a jealous heart allows me to cross over barriers and enjoy close friendships with others that would otherwise be difficult for some to understand.
At this time I am still in search of a submissive woman that wishes to be trained by an experienced master. There will be the possibility of later being collared once training is sufficient. A relationship of trust and love needs to be built first but that is with time and proper training.
This is my first entry. Let me know if I should continue. I may begin writing about experiences in the area but try to keep it vague enough not to implicate or reveal anything that could be deemed harmful.
|
| |
| |
|
|
| |
