pegman

It has been a very frustrating and humiliating day today, but not without its rewards. During the course of texts with Mistress Cara , she instructed me to edge while at work. I had done this once before and remembered how humiliated and ashamed I felt. This time was no different. I went into the cubicle and lowered my sissy pink panties and began to stroke my little clit. In fact it felt good, Mistress had forbidden me to even edge for 2 days, as I had become over excited on Friday and she feared I would lose control. It is 5 weeks today since I last drained my baby balls. So despite the shame and humiliation I was relieved to be able to excite my tiny clit. It soon started to leak slime, so I made myself stop.

I reported to Mistress how frustrated I felt, how humiliated and ashamed, which she enjoyed! Later in the day Mistress Cara very kindly gave me permission to milk myself when I got home, using the butt plug, definitely NO orgasm! In fact no touching of my clit once it was hard. I was so pleased, I felt that this would help me take the big plug, not just the medium one. Mistress Cara  will fuck my slutty arse with her strap-on dildo in 18 days time, and I must be able to take the big plug if I am to be able to take her strap-on.

Thankfully my slutty tight hole is getting used to the medium plug, it now slides in and out quite easily and I am gaining confidence in keeping it in for extended periods.

When I got home I eagerly prepared the 2 plugs and applied plenty of lube. The medium one slid in so easily I felt ashamed at the slut that I have become, relieved also that it is easier than before. I could never let anyone else fuck me, yet with Mistress Cara  it seems to be so natural, such an obvious way for her to demonstrate her total control over me, and my total submission to her. I adore her and can’t wait to feel her penetrate me.

With these thoughts going through my mind I turned the vibrator up to full speed, and with my little clit half erect I concentrated on milking myself. This will be the only way I am permitted to drain my slime in future, so I need to be able to do it easily. The combination of my earlier edging and thoughts of Mistress ensured that after just a few minutes about a teaspoon of slime had leaked out! What joy, what relief! I eagerly licked it up and wanted to continue but felt I was getting to close to cumming. Reluctantly I stopped the vibrator and prepared the big plug. I hoped that my tight hole would be relaxed enough now to take it. I quickly slid the medium one out. Actually it almost fell out, I felt such a whore. Just as quickly I slid the big one in. I held my breath and pushed and twisted it, determined it would go in today. It was so slippery with lube I struggled to grip it. It went in a little further, then no more. I was so disappointed. It’s in about ¾ of the way, more than before, but not enough. I sat on it for 5 minutes, wriggling and squirming, trying to slide it in the final bit. I pulled it out and slid the medium one in again, easing it in and out, keeping it on the tightest part, trying to stretch my hole. It seemed so easy, so eager to go in. I felt ashamed, humiliated, desperate to please my Mistress. My Mistress, my Owner. The very thought of her gives me a warm tingling sensation. I yearn for the next text from her, the next e-mail, I ache to see her, desperate to please her and serve her as she wishes. I haven’t seen her for a week, it seems like a year.

Soon, Mistress, very soon, I will take the big plug, proudly, to please You, to amuse You. But not today, I’m so sorry.

Today being Sunday I was feeling relaxed and decided to carry out my anal training in the morning.

Mistress Cara  has forbidden me to edge, as she knows how frustrated I am and how close to losing control and spurting my slime without permission. Its only been 1 day and I miss it already!

I no longer need to start my anal exercises with the baby plug, a sign of progress I hope. Instead I prepared the medium plug and it slid in with little effort. Just a few days ago it was so painful, 9 out of 10 on the pain scale. Now its more like 5 out of 10. More progress! I turned the vibrator on low and felt the tingling all over me. I rocked forwards and back, trying to relax and stretch my hole, which must learn to take the big pink plug. Mistress Cara  is insistent. The vibrations were getting me too excited so I turned it off and simply sat on the plug, getting used to it. I completed my secretary duties for Mistress Cara  with it in, answering e-mails etc. It is finally beginning to feel normal to have a plug inside me. I even managed to get up and walk round my home with it. That still causes internal reactions, but not as bad as at first. It all gives me confidence that one day I will be able to take the big pink plug. But not today, despite trying again. It will only go so far before stopping.

And now I have learned that Mistress Cara  has a date in mind for fucking me. 20^th November, so less than 3 weeks for me to get used to the big plug and the equally large strap-on Mistress intends to use.      

After yesterday’s epic anal session, today was rather more down to earth. I was left desperately frustrated and anxious to drain my balls, but despite my begging, Mistress Cara  refused to allow me any relief. In fact I am now forbidden to even edge, as I am so close to losing control. I will greatly miss my twice daily edging as not only does it offer some relief and pleasure, it is also the time when I study and worship the photos of my divine Mistress. Still, it is far better to be safe than sorry, and I know that when Mistress Cara  does drain me, it will be a great relief, as well as humiliating to spill all my slime while she watches and laughs at my pathetic clit.

Today I simply concentrated on getting used to the feel of the plug inside me, trying to get ready for the big pink plug. I lubed up the medium one, and today, for the first time it slid in without any pain or pressure. Finally it seems that my tight hole is easing up, able to take the plug at last. I spent time easing it in and out, stretching my hole. Each time seemed a little easier, though still tight.

After several minutes I tried to keep the plug at its widest point just entering me, stretching me as much as possible.

No vibrator this time, no pleasure, just obeying Mistress. I sat with it inside me while I answered some texts from Mistress, and then prepared the big pink plug. I quickly removed the smaller one and tried to put the big one in. once again, it went about halfway before stopping.

I pushed as hard as I dare, hoping it would finally slide in but once again I was defeated. I sat for a few minutes with it halfway in, hoping to stretch a bit more, before giving up.

At least the medium one slid in, so it seems to be getting easier, I hope in  a week or so I will finally be able to take the big pink plug all the way, as Mistress Cara  intends.

In the meantime I have to try to cope with 5 weeks since I last drained my balls. I am so frustrated, so desperate to spurt my filthy slime. In part it is because it has been 5 weeks, mainly because I am owned by the most perfect Mistress, who has trusted me with several tasks, who excites me every time I think of her, who I worship and adore with all my heart.

Mistress Cara  demanded that I write and e-mail her this report last night as soon as I had told her about it. so I post it now, rough and uncut.

Mistress Cara , this is a hasty version for You, as instructed. I will leave out the preamble and go straight to the point.

I was already feeling horny, being Your slave does that, especially when I know You have been out enjoying Yourself, and the Lovehoney news as well.
I decided to skip the baby plug and lubed up the medium one. I knelt on the floor and carefully pushed it in. It slides in easily to begin with, but still needs a painful push to go right in. I paused with it half in, and eased it in and out a few times to loosen my hole. Finally it slid in. I knelt down, to keep it in, turned the vibrator on slow and started to worship Your photos. I slowly stroked my clit until it was nearly hard, then stopped stroking and turned the vibrator up a bit more. It felt good, as I squirmed around I could feel it all over me. I started to tingle and twitch as I turned it on full and sat down on it. the tingling sensation grew and grew, I could feel my tight hole tingling. Suddenly I wanted to cum, to spurt my filth as I started to tremble all over. I could feel the vibes on the tip of the plug, deep inside me. I started breathing heavily, shaking, begging You to let me spurt. It was unbearable, pleasure and frustration growing by the second. I didn’t dare to touch my clit now, I was terrified of spurting without permission, but I desperately wanted to milk myself. I longed for You to be here, to see Your sissy slut, to hear me whimper and beg. God I wanted You to fuck me, to make me spurt.
A little teardrop of slime oozed out of my clit. I was close to tears, I wanted to spurt, I wanted to milk myself, I wanted You to see me.
Fear finally took over and I turned off the vibrator and sat, breathing heavily, shaking and trembling.
The fucking big plug still wouldn’t go in!!

Thank You Mistress, thank You!

After the great success on Wednesday I had high hopes for tonight’s anal training. Mistress Cara , my Owner said how pleased she is with my progress, but she still expects me to take the big pink plug. I begged her to be allowed to get used to the new plug for a few days before trying the big plug again, but Mistress insisted I tried it each day. Every little helps! So I laid out my arsenal of toys, the baby, intermediate and big plugs and began my training. The baby pink slid in so easily, I felt ashamed, what a slut I was! After a few minutes I took it out and pushed the intermediate one in. it felt very tight and I had to push firmly, but it went in, just like yesterday. I relaxed a while, set the vibe on low and worshipped the photos of my Mistress. I didn’t touch my clit, I wanted to get used to being plugged, to get used to the sensations. I hardly felt ashamed or humiliated, I had a task to do for my Mistress, pure and simple. I felt more concerned that I might not be able to take the big pink plug, as I know how keen Mistress is that I take larger and larger plugs until she is ready to fuck me with her strap-on.

After 15 minutes or so I prepared the big plug and carefully eased the new one out. It felt tight and painful, but I quickly got the big one and tried to push it in while my hole was still open. It slid in about halfway, as on previous occasions, but then stopped. I gritted my teeth and pushed as hard as I could, but with no more movement. I rested my weight on it for several minutes, hoping to stretch my hole but finally had to admit defeat. At least the new one wasn’t quite as painful today, I hope in time it will slide in as easily as the baby plug, and that the big one will be manageable. It is less than 4 months since I first submitted to Mistress Cara  and yet in that time my life has changed so much. It feels so natural to be owned by her, to submit to her and to serve her. Mistress is the epicentre of my life, my reason for being. She controls me completely, in so many ways. I am completely devoted to her and worship her, Mistress is the most perfect Mistress imaginable.

What a great honour! My Mistress, the divine Mistress Cara  has posted on her profile that she OWNS me. How wonderful, I am so happy. It is the realisation of a dream for me. Mistress Cara  is such a wonderful Mistress, such a kind caring person, so generous with her time, I adore her with all my heart and I am totally devoted to serving her in any way she wishes. I feel so unworthy, I have so little to offer.

I have been increasingly frustrated at my inability to take the big pink plug as Mistress Cara  wishes. Despite my best efforts I have only been able to take it halfway. During and exchange of texts last night Mistress remarked that I should have bought the intermediate size plug she had seen when she bought the large one for me. Eager to succeed, I stopped off on the way home tonight and bought it. It is smaller than the big pink, but larger than the baby one. Their sizes are about 45mm dia, 33mm dia and 25mm dia respectively. I was hopeful of success and used the baby pink first to get started. As usual it slid in easily. After a few minutes while I lubed the new one I slid it out and, taking a deep breath tried the new plug. It slid in easily at first, and then stopped. I pushed harder and it moved a bit more. I tried even more, my tight hole starting to hurt now, but it seemed stuck, just like the big pink plug. Starting to feel desperate, I gritted my teeth and sat on the plug. Finally it slid in!! I let out a moan of relief and pain! it was in!!

I waited a few moments to calm down, then turned the vibrator on low. I could feel it tingling and started to move around and get used to the sensations. Whether it was the butt plug, or Mistress Cara ’s declaration of Ownership, I don’t know, but before long my little clit was wet and oozing slime. I hardly had to touch it, thinking of my beautiful amazing Mistress. I was lost in thought, gently rocking to and fro, so happy to serve Mistress. Before I knew, a large glob of evil looking slime oozed out of my clit! I hadn’t cum, it didn’t spurt, I was being milked! I dutifully recycled my mess and tried to make more leak out. In all about a teaspoon came out. It was enough for now, the perfect end to a perfect day. Now I know for sure that I will learn to take the big pink plug, just as my Owner wishes!!   

On Tuesday I was again working close to Mistress Cara ’s home, and she had instructed me to call on her when I finished, as she had some errands to run and required me to drive her.
I couldn’t wait to finish work and drove straight over to see my Mistress. I love to visit, however briefly, however vanilla, it is such a reward to call on her.
After briefly greeting me we set off to the shops, Mistress was looking so lovely as usual. I dutifully followed her round the shop, so pleased to be seen in public with her.
After loading all the items into the car and making sure Mistress was seated comfortably, I was expecting to drive her home. Instead I was surprised and delighted when she said I could drive her to a nearby pub of a drink. I was so pleased, my face beamed with pleasure as I thanked her for her kindness.
We found a quiet corner in the pub and chatted, discussing the events of last weekend amongst other things. It is such a pleasure to listen to my Mistress, her soft voice captivates me, I find myself leaning forward to eagerly listen, not daring to miss a word.
Back at her home, I unloaded the shopping, and is now customary, I made Mistress a drink and washed up the dishes for her.
I wanted to stay all evening, just to be with her, to carry out menial chores for her, but I knew I had to leave as I had to return to my own home to carry out my daily anal training. Reluctantly I took my leave, thanking Mistress for allowing me to visit her.
Back at my home I showered and prepared for my nightly training. As yesterday, I put the small pink butt plug that Mistress had so kindly bought me in first, to try to relax my tight hole. It slips in so easily and I am beginning to feel comfortable with it inside me. I stroked my little sissy clit  while it was in, as always looking at photos of my divine Mistress. With the baby pink plug vibrating my clit soon became wet so I quickly put lube on the big pink plug and removed the small one. I quickly pushed the big one in as far as I could, also with the vibrator on.
Once again it would only go so far, about half way and no further. I felt so frustrated, desperate for it to slide all the way in so that I can finally begin to milk myself. Mistress has told me that this is the only way that I will be able to drain my slime from my balls. It has been four weeks since the last time and I am increasingly desperate to succeed. Taking the large pink butt plug will also mean that I am one step closer to feeling my Mistress fuck me with her strap-on which I am longing for as I know how much she will enjoy humiliating me and dominating me.
I tried and tried but to no avail, the pink plug simply wouldn’t go in any further, despite my increasingly frantic efforts. Once again I had to admit defeat.

My planned second anal training session on Saturday was cancelled, for the most delightful of reasons! I was due to call on Mistress Cara  to install some pc software for her. As I was preparing to leave, I received a text saying that I could stay the night at her home. I was due to return on Sunday morning to carry out cleaning duties for my Mistress and staying the night would mean less travelling and more time to serve her. I was thrilled, delighted by Mistress Cara ’s kind offer. I replied to her text, accepting her generous offer and asking if I could cook dinner for her. Luckily I had already bought the ingredients for her favorite meal.

I couldn’t believe that I would be spending so much time with my divine Mistress, it was beyond my wildest dreams. Mistress has been so generous of her time with me, I treat  each occasion as if it were the first, and the last! Even in a vanilla setting I am able to serve her, and Mistress manages to discreetly humiliate me. It is wonderful, just wonderful.

I quickly drove to her home and managed to successfully install the software and demonstrate it to Mistress Cara ’s satisfaction. The rest of the afternoon passed quickly, making drinks for Mistress, chatting normally. Mistress took delight in showing me some sissy maid dresses on e-bay and instructed me to bid for them. Mistress has made it clear that she intends to sissify me, amongst other humiliations. The outfits looked very girlie, and I am sure that I will be utterly humiliated when made to wear them. For now I was so happy to be with my Mistress, hardly able to keep my eyes away from her, drinking in her beauty, her elegance, listening to her soft voice, her lovely laugh.

As evening approached it was time to prepare the meal. Although it is one of the few meals I can cook, I was so nervous, anxious not to spoil it and face the humiliation of going out to buy pizza. Thankfully Mistress declared herself pleased with the result, washed down with a glass of wine and enjoyed with her real man. He is a wonderful person, he tolerates my presence, and is very pleasant to speak to. I know that without his agreement my visits would be few and far between.

The evening was very rewarding as I knelt at Mistress Cara’s  feet and massaged them endlessly as she watched tv and chatted with her real man. I felt so lucky, so privileged, so honoured to be able to serve my Mistress in this way. Mistress has previously told me that it feels so natural to her to have me at her feet, so natural to have a slave to do her chores. I am simply glad to serve such a wonderful woman in this way. I cherish each and every chance I have to be close to my Mistress, the Mistress of my dreams, who offers so much to those slaves who are prepared to devote themselves to her. To my mind it is an obvious, natural choice.

Eventually it was time for Mistress to retire to bed, with her real man to satisfy her in ways that I can only dream about. I felt humiliated, cuckolded almost as Mistress kindly helped to set up the sofa bed for me before wishing me good night. I knew that Mistress would have a good night!

I quickly fell asleep, surrounded by my Mistress’s aura, her perfume, knowing she was in bed just a few feet away. I quickly edged my little clit in tribute, until it began to ooze its sissy slime.

I slept late the next morning, snugly cocooned in her old bed linen, feeling very happy, very lucky to have such a fantastic Mistress to serve and worship. Why she chooses to use me I do not know, I am simply eternally grateful that she finds some use for me. Once again I edged my little clit, feeling a little guilty for doing so in her home.

The morning passed quietly and then Mistress prepared to go out for Sunday lunch with her family and friends while I carried out my cleaning tasks. Mistress was wearing tight stretch jeans that showed of her lovely legs and bottom so beautifully and a black lacy top which revealed a sexy bra underneath. As she prepared to leave Mistress gave me a long list of chores and told me that she would lock the front door while she was away. I watched wistfully as she left, wishing I could accompany her, but quickly came to my senses and began to clean and scrub, tidy and wash. That’s my position in life, not an escort for Mistress.

I was determined to make a good job of cleaning, although the list was long I wanted to clean as much as possible as well as possible, rather than rush and do a bad job of everything. I worked steadily, hardly pausing for a brief snack. Mistress sent me a few texts, telling me how she was enjoying herself, warning me of the consequences if she felt I had been slacking. Spurred on I continued to work my way through the list.

All too soon, Mistress sent a text to say she would be home shortly. Thankfully I had completed all but one of the tasks, so I took a final critical look around to see if I had missed anything. I knew for sure that Mistress would be checking carefully. I felt like a little puppy, eagerly waiting for my owner to return, hoping for a pat on the head and “Good boy” from my Mistress. She looked so relaxed and happy and had obviously had a good time with her friends and family. She critically inspected my work and seemed pleased until the last minute when she found a coffee stain on the top of her filing cabinet. She seemed delighted to find fault and quietly humiliated me for failing her. I was heartbroken, I had tried so hard, worked so hard and still overlooked and obvious mark.

Shortly after, her wonderful real man tactfully said that he would be going out for a walk for a couple of hours and once again I was alone with my Mistress.

Mistress ordered me to follow her upstairs to help her change out of her tight fitting clothes into something more relaxing. I followed her on hands and knees, crawling up the stairs after her. My heart was pounding, my head in a whirl. The thought of helping Mistress to undress was overpowering. I was shaking as I knelt obediently in her bedroom, hardly daring to look as she ordered me to undo her black lacy blouse. My hands were shaking and sweating, I fumbled with the small buttons, being careful not to touch her wonderful breasts which loomed directly above me. Mistress turned round so I could remove the soft material. Turning to face me again, Mistress softly told me to undo her tight jeans and remove them. I could feel the blood pounding in my head, my mouth was so dry I could hardly croak “Yes Mistress”. My face was level with her navel, as I carefully eased the jeans down I could see the tiny thong she was wearing, one that she had allowed me to buy on Friday. That seemed an age ago, a lifetime away. The thong was so small, barely covering her intimate area. I felt dizzy, hardly able to concentrate on my task. I desperately wanted to press my face into the thong, to smell her, to taste her, to worship my Mistress with my tongue. I glanced up at the wonderful sight, my divine Mistress towering over me, her wonderful pussy inches from me, yet a million miles away. I just had to drink in the sight, burn it into my mind, etch it onto my eyelids! I felt so submissive, so devoted, so grateful to my Mistress for all the rewards that she has given to me, her useless sissy slut. I could have stayed in that position for ever.

I woke from my reverie and removed her jeans before she became impatient. I instinctively knew that Mistress would have known the thoughts going through my head, and I felt ashamed for being so base. However, Mistress simply selected a pair of loose fitting bottoms and then lay face down on her bed. Once comfortable she instructed me to remove her bra and to massage her back. Once again my sweaty, shaking hands fumbled with the bra catch and then began to rub moisturising cream into her. I stared intently at her shapely back, the gentle swell of her bottom looked enticing and inviting as I concentrated on my task.

I hoped my massaging was having the desired effect, Mistress seemed relaxed and almost asleep. After several minutes her hand slid off the bed and found my clit. Mistress was surprised and angry that it was not erect, she demanded to know why I did not find her attractive. Surely any man, even a sissy like me would have had a hard-on by now. I was mortified, I tried to stammer out an apology, to explain. My pathetic clit had failed me, when it should have been as hard as it could get. Instead it was its normal shrivelled, tiny self. I was distraught, I wanted to die of shame. I didn’t understand it myself, so how could I explain to my Mistress?

Understandably, the mood was broken, Mistress got off the bed and, putting a casual top on went downstairs, with her pathetic slave miserably following on hands and knees.

Making herself comfortable on the sofa, Mistress ordered me to strip and show her my sissy red panties. The panties that she had bought for my on Friday. God that seemed an age ago!

She then ordered me to show her my insult of a clit, again demanding to know why it wasn’t hard. I tried to mumble an apology, but Mistress was furious. She launched into a long verbal humiliation session. I reeled physically at each new insult, flinching at each new humiliation. I felt myself shrinking, withering, until I felt as small as my little clit. I simply couldn’t find words to explain my failure, which only seemed to incense Mistress all the more. I felt sick, I wanted to crawl away, to escape from the tirade of abuse. What made it all worse was that every insult was true, my clit is useless, I am useless, worthless, pathetic. Mistress made me go through the dictionary to describe myself. I was so humiliated, so belittled.

Finally Mistress tired of verbally abusing me and decided instead to use her favorite crop on my sissy pink bottom. I felt relieved at the sting of the crop, which mercifully was not as severe as the last time Mistress had used it on me. Even that would have been preferable to the verbal abuse. Though both were thoroughly deserved.

With her real man soon to return, Mistress allowed me to dress and we returned to a more vanilla situation, though Mistress continued to tell me what she expected of me, if I am to remain as her slave. Despite my best efforts, I fail to please her too often, forget my place, become too familiar.

Feeling suitable chastened, all too soon it was time for me to leave, laden with ironing to do for Mistress, parcels to post. As a final surprise, and yet another example of her generosity, Mistress presented me with a pink butt plug, smaller than the large one I had bought last week. She wanted me to use it to get used to being milked, and eventually being fucked by Mistress with her strap-on.  At that moment I knew that I would succeed in taking the large butt plug, knew that I would renew my efforts to obey and please my amazing, wonderful divine Mistress. You mean the world to me, Mistress, in so many ways.   

To make up for being permitted to miss my anal training yesterday, Mistress Cara  insisted that I have two sessions today, Saturday.

I have just completed the first one, I will report on the second one in due course.

Being a Saturday morning I was already fairly relaxed and knowing that I would be calling on Mistress Cara  this afternoon made me even more so. I had high hopes of being successful.

I started by edging as usual while looking at photos of my beautiful Mistress. In no time my clit was hard and oozing its slime. It has been nearly 4 weeks since Mistress last permitted me to drain my baby balls, so they are very full.

While I was edging I lubed up both baby blue and big pink. I used baby blue first, to try to loosen my hole, and rocked gently back and forward, getting used to the sensation.

I then took out baby blue and immediately tried big pink. As before, it went in so far, and then no more. I tried rocking again, I tired sitting on it, spreading my ass cheeks with my hands, all to no avail. I took it out and applied even more lube and tried again. Still no luck. After several attempts I settled down, sitting on the big plug as much as I could and switched on the vibrator. My little clit liked that, and with little effort started oozing sissy slime again. I carefully licked up every drop, wishing that the big pink plug would go all the way in, to please my Mistress.

After a little while the vibrations became too much for my little clit and I had to stop, for fear of losing control.

I felt so downcast that I still cannot take the plug, I want to so desperately, and mistress insists that I learn. I hope that practise will make perfect!

Mistress Cara  has very kindly allowed me to miss today’s anal training, as she has also very graciously permitted me to attend my sister’s wedding reception this evening. I will however have to have a double training session tomorrow, Saturday, to make up for it.
Mistress Cara  also allowed me to accompany her this morning to the local shopping centre, where I was able to buy her some sexy thongs and other items.
Mistress greatly enjoyed humiliating me, holding up various sissy pink knickers for me, saying loudly how they would suit me. She was also amused spraying perfume samples on me, so I now smell like a girlie! I love to be able to spend time with my Mistress, it is such a great reward. Mistress Cara  is so adorable, so fabulous, all the humiliation is worthwhile, just to be in her presence. 
That is why I am determined to learn to take the big pink butt plug, not because I want to, but because Mistress wants me to. Just as she wants to fuck my arse with her strap-on.

Once again, I have had to attempt to take the large pink butt plug that Mistress Cara made me buy in my ass.

Today I tried as soon as I got home from work, rather than wait til later in the evening. I was relaxed driving home, thinking of being able to see my divine Mistress once again on Friday, so I hoped that this would help.
My little clit was already excited at the thought of seeing Mistress, so I quickly stripped off and knelt in front of my pc, looking at her photos. I stroked my clit for a few minutes, then applied plenty of lube to the pink plug and to my tight hole. 

I decided to try the big pink plug straight away, rather than use the baby blue one first.
At first I couldn’t even get the tip in, but by wriggling around and squatting over it I finally managed to get about an inch to slide in. Just as last night, it wouldn’t go in any further, even though I wiggled and squirmed and put more weight on it.

I tried turning the vibrator on, hoping that would relax me. I am desperate to please my Mistress, and desperate to be able to milk myself, draining my filthy slime without having to touch my sissy clit.

I took it out and applied even more lube and tried again. It slid in easily, but only as far as before. There was nothing I could do to make it go in any further, so I sat there for several minutes, trying to relax, pressing down on it. the vibrations felt nice, and I hoped they might relax my tight muscle, but after trying for 10 or 15 minutes, once again I had to admit defeat.

Following Your instructions, Mistress, I made an attempt to force the huge butt plug into my tight hole tonight.

I started by using the baby blue trainer, in the hope that it would loosen me up.

I sat with it in me while I covered the huge plug with plenty of lube, and looked at Your photo's on my pc.

I was too nervous to edge, my clit was tiny, but I tried to relax. 

After about 5 minutes I took the baby plug out and quickly tried to push the big pink one in.

At first I thought i would be successful, it slid in easily to begin with, but then would go no further.

I tried sitting on, but with no luck. I tried twisting it, wriggling it, anything to make it go in.

All to no avail. I took it out and made a note of how far in it had gone.

it was about a quarter of the way, or a third of the max diameter.

I applied more lube, both to the plug and to my hole, and tried again.

It still stuck as before. I tried to rest, keeping pressure on it, hoping to relax as again I looked at Your photo's.

Periodically I would twist it and wriggle it, but it was stuck. Even with the vibrator on I couldn't take anymore of it.

After about half an hour i gave up, dispirited that I had been unable to take all of it.

I measured the diameter where it had stuck and compared it with the baby blue.

Baby blue is about 1" diameter, and I had managed about 1 1/4" of big pink!

In total big pink is 2" diameter, so I have a way to go yet.

I will keep trying Mistress, as instructed, every night. I am determined to succeed, so that I can milk myself, and eventually You will be able to fuck me with Your strap-on.

 Your devoted minnie.

I have been so lucky to enjoy two evenings with Mistress Cara . I had previously begged her to allow me to redecorate her living room, as I desperately wanted to give something back for all the kindness she has shown me. Mistress very graciously agreed, and on Monday evening instructed me to drive her to the DIY store to choose paint and pick up the other items required. I drove to her home straight from work, as always my heart was beating faster in anticipation. Mistress opened the door and invited me in, she looked stunning, dressed in an elegant low cut dress that showed her beautiful figure to great effect. She kindly offered me a drink, but I remembered my manners and asked if I could make a drink for her.

When Mistress had finished her drink we went to the store and she selected the paint colour that she liked. I quickly grabbed enough tins to do the job and the other sundries needed. After some further browsing Mistress was ready to leave and I escorted her back to the car, making sure she was comfortably seated before loading the paint into the boot.

I was expecting to be told to drive her home, but to my delight Mistress gave me directions to a nearby pub, where she said we could enjoy a drink. I was so thrilled to be taking my divine Mistress for a drink, I could hardly concentrate on driving. My task was made even more difficult, when Mistress teasingly adjusted her sexy black stockings. I caught a glimpse of her slender white legs, nearly crashing the car in the process. That rare glimpse must have unsettled me more than I had realised because despite a fruitless search I was unable to find the pub!! I was mortified, sensing Mistress’s displeasure, and had to head back to her home. Eventually Mistress found somewhere suitable and I quickly pulled into the car park. We entered the pub, which looked to be fairly busy for a Monday evening, though as Mistress gleefully pointed out, everyone was even older than me!! I quickly bought drinks and sat chatting with my Mistress, hardly able to take my eyes off her. Despite the relaxed atmosphere, Mistress kept me in my place with casual references to my lack of navigation skills, my incompetence in general.

After a while, there was an announcement that bingo tickets were on sale and the session would start soon. Mistress burst out in a fit of giggles, here we were, chatting about S&M, chastity, cuckolding in the middle of a bingo session! Quite bizarre!

The excitement was too much and we quickly left for her home. It was only when I was unloading the paint that I realised that I had bought twice as much as was needed. In my haste to please my Mistress, I had picked up 3 large tins instead of the smaller ones. Again Mistress burst out laughing at her senile useless slave, as I gallantly said now there was enough to decorate other rooms as well.

On Tuesday I was working close to Mistress’s home and again she very kindly allowed me to call in after work. Again, I offered to make Mistress a cup of tea and sat drinking in her elegance, her beauty, listening to her soft voice. She must have noticed, and told me to make myself useful and do the washing up in the kitchen. I cleaned and tidied, glad to be of some use to my Mistress. I returned to her side and she told me of the time wasters she has to deal with online. They show no respect, expect a cheap thrill for nothing. Clearly not true subs.

When Mistress had finished her drink she announced that we would go out to eat, as she had been home all day and felt the need for a change of scenery. I couldn’t believe that I would be seen out with my Mistress for the second time in two days! What an unexpected pleasure, what a reward for an undeserving useless sissy.

Once again we set off, this time I knew how to find the pub.

Once seated, I ordered the food, though Mistress insisted that she would pay! Another unexpected reward! While waiting for the food we chatted again, until Mistress saw there was a child’s jigsaw puzzle left on the table. With a smile, she instructed me to complete the puzzle. I was so nervous, so thrilled to be with my Mistress, I only managed to put a few pieces together. Mistress Cara  kept mocking me, saying a child was better than me, that I was useless. This all made me even more clumsy and eventually Mistress completed the puzzle without hesitation. It felt bizarre to be humiliated in public over a child’s jigsaw puzzle, but I was so pleased to be with my Mistress I simply didn’t care.

After the meal I drove her home and after disappearing upstairs Mistress re-appeared in casual clothes and proceed to relax on her sofa. I was permitted to sit next to her and she swung her lovely long legs up into my lap and instructed me to rub her feet. What a delight, what a pleasure! My hands were shaking, my palms sweating as I began to rub her delightful feet and toes. I longed to beg to be allowed to suck her toes, to lick her feet, but I did not dare risk upsetting my divine Mistress by being greedy. I knew I was already being greatly rewarded, far more than I deserved. Instead I continued to carefully rub each foot in turn, trying hard to avoid staring once again at my Mistress as she relaxed and watched the tv. She looked so serene, so relaxed, my gaze followed her long slim legs to her divine body, perfectly outlined by her clothes, and on to the enticing outline of her shapely breasts, rising and falling slowly as she breathed. I felt my little clit grow hard underneath her feet and start to ooze its sissy slime. Mistress continued to chat, making occasional humiliating comments about my abilities, or lack of them. She mentioned it so casually, so offhandedly, as if it was quite natural to discuss my tiny clit and my almost total lack of sexual experience. I felt humiliated, but also so very, very contented. I silently marvelled at my great luck in being owned by such a supremely beautiful Mistress, who is so kind and generous, so elegant and intelligent, so confident and Dominant. Without doubt she is my perfect Mistress. Thank You Mistress Cara , thank You.

Despite the great start to the weekend, it all fell around my ears on Saturday morning. Mistress Cara  is in London for a private social engagement and had kindly said she would send me some photos to show how gorgeous she looked. I replied with a carelessly worded text which was less than respectful. Naturally Mistress was furious and demanded that I apologise and beg her forgiveness. Despite my best efforts Mistress was unrelenting and quite rightly disgusted at my poor attitude. For my part I was truly distraught that a moment’s lapse had caused my divine Mistress to become upset, and I feared I had spoiled her trip to London,

Knowing that I had to work Saturday morning Mistress instructed me to go into the toilet at work and edge while looking at the photo she had sent me earlier.

I felt dejected and depressed, utterly ashamed and humiliated sitting on the toilet with my sissy pink panties around my ankles, rubbing my pathetic clit while thinking of my perfect Mistress. What made it worse was the fact that it was such a simple basic error that I had made. I really should have known better. I felt I had let my Mistress down, just when I felt I was beginning to make progress as her slave.

As luck would have it, I had a business meeting that was within a mile of where  my Mistress, the divine MistressCara lives. I set off from my office and drove to the meeting, wishing I were visiting her instead. Like a little homing pigeon, my little clit seemed to know where I was going and started oozing slime the nearer I got to her home.

Thankfully the meeting finished early, but late enough so I did not have to return to my office. I sent Mistress a text, explaining why I was so near to her, and begging that I be allowed to visit her, even briefly. I was delighted when she graciously agreed and said I could call round. I quickly made my way to her home and soon found myself waiting for the front door to open.

Mistress invited me in and once again I found myself drinking in her elegant beauty. Though only casually dressed, Mistress looked wonderful in loose fitting comfortable trousers and a low cut top that sent my pulse racing. Mistress offered me a cup of tea, but I asked instead if I could make a cup for her as well. I took her drink through to the living room where Mistress was relaxing watching tv. She indicated that I could sit and we started chatting about my work, Mistress’s plans for the weekend. Despite the completely vanilla setting I was thrilled to be with my Mistress, I enjoy visiting her in any circumstances.

After a while she gave me a stern look and said I should make myself useful. Pointing to a pile of laundry, she told me to fetch the iron and set to work. Mistress continued to chat, relaxing while her sissy did her ironing. I felt so pleased to be able to do even menial chores, to save her the trouble. That is surely what slaves are for.

I confess that, standing close to my Mistress, I had a wonderful view of her amazing milky white breasts, barely contained by her tight low cut top. My hands started shaking, my clit grew hard and I nearly scorched one of her delicate blouses. I longed to worship them, to kneel at her feet and beg to worship her divine body. I longed to remove her shoes and socks and give her a foot rub.

Thankfully I soon finished the ironing and sat down again, hoping that Mistress had not seen me staring intently at her beautiful figure.

To calm myself I asked if she would like another drink and also if I may wash up in her kitchen. She again agreed and I spent some time cleaning and tidying. I was elated at this lucky visit and grateful to Mistress for seeing me at short notice.

All too soon it was time for me to take my leave. Mistress stood up and showed me to the door. On the way she indicated to a box of empty bottles. “Take them with you and get rid of them for me.” She told me. I hurried outside, thanking her profusely and taking her rubbish with me.

I drove home, feeling happy and contented at having seen my beautiful Mistress. The more I see her, the more I fall under her spell. She is captivating, charming, witty. But she is also always in control, always Dominant, ready to punish and humiliate if I step out of line or become cheeky. Perfect in fact. Just perfect.

A final reward waited when I got home. A text from Mistress “Thank you for keeping me company. I enjoyed it.” What a reward!! What a perfect start to the weekend.

MistressCara has posted a brief but interesting journal. It encapsulates so precisely why I need to submit to her.

“I like sissies that aren't sissies, cock suckers that aren't gay, cucks that aren't cucks and slaves that aren't subs. Cocks that aren't cocks, but rather clits. Nipples that tingle when you don't want them to.

I'm difficult. I like the desire to please Me to always be just marginally ahead of the fear and loathing for the tasks I set. The motivation to obey just fractionally higher than the revulsion you feel at the humiliation.

 I don't think many will understand this, but then you are not supposed to. If you are right for Me, it will happen anyway. Don't worry about it.

 Well, not until I want you to.”

Mistress has recently set me a challenging task, to describe how I would suck a man’s cock. She has also kindly posted the reply. I felt so humiliated and ashamed when thinking about it and writing it. It is not something I’ve ever done, or wanted to do. But slowly Mistress Cara  is conditioning me to accept that I will have to. More than anything I else I want to please Mistress, more than anything else I want to obey Mistress. So I sat and wrote about sucking cock.

MistressCara has posted a very generous review of my service to her last Saturday. It was such a pleasure to be allowed to visit her and to drive her around town. I had little idea what lay in store for me. Despite my nervousness and anxiety, I managed to cook the meal to her satisfaction and was rewarded by being permitted to kiss her exquisite feet and to suck on her toes, each one of which, as Mistress pointed out, is bigger than my pathetic clit. I simply wasn’t prepared for what followed! Suddenly Mistress Cara  was in her element, humiliating and punishing me as never before. She was awesome, totally Dominant, totally in control of her pathetic slave. I gritted my teeth and endured the pain and humiliation, being comforted by knowing how much Mistress was enjoying herself. Just as suddenly, like a summer thunderstorm passing, Mistress reverted to her usual kind caring self, gently feeling my red hot ass, advising which cream would be best to soothe the pain.

I thought I had been rewarded enough but on Monday at work I received a text: “! I may let you drain your baby balls tonight slut”. I couldn’t reply due to work, but when I got home she sent another text. “At 7.00 tonight you may wank and have an orgasm”. I couldn’t believe it, for years I have been trained to spoil every orgasm when I drain my balls. Now Mistress was ordering me to wank as a real man might, not to let go and spoil it. At 7.00 I was kneeling naked in front of the photos of Mistress on my pc and began edging, as I do twice every day. When I felt I was about to lose control, instead of letting go of my clit I kept on stroking, feeling my slime spurt out for the first time in years. It felt so wonderful, I had forgotten the pleasure of an orgasm. All too soon it was over, and my limp clit subsided, spent.

Mistress Cara  is such an amazing Mistress, it is such a pleasure to be her property. The pain and humiliation is more than rewarded by her generosity. Without doubt, the more I am prepared to suffer, the more Mistress is inclined to reward me. Thank You Mistress, thank You.  

I have had another unforgettable weekend serving my Mistress, the divine MistressCara. On Friday night she instructed me to practise ‘milking’ myself. I carefully, gingerly inserted the small butt plug into my tight hole and slowly stroked my clit while rocking back and forth on the plug. At first nothing happened, but after a few minutes slime leaked out of my clit. I stopped stroking and continued the rocking motion. More slime dribbled out for several minutes. I felt humiliated and ashamed for having to fuck myself, but pleased that I had managed to obey my Mistress. She has indicated that once I am proficient at milking it will be the only way I am allowed to drain my useless balls. She has also warned me that I will be expected to take larger butt plugs than the small one I have at present.

On Saturday night I made the mistake of practising milking without her permission. Despite my best intentions, Mistress left me in no doubt that I must ask each and every time I wish to drain my slime. I felt suitably humiliated and had to ask permission to fuck myself, to which she graciously agreed. 

I also had the great pleasure and honour of accompanying MistressCara today on a social visit. Mistress is amazingly generous and kind with the time she spends dealing with her many slaves. As beautiful as her many pictures show, Mistress is so much more beautiful in person, witty and charming but never letting a slave forget his lowly position. It is chilling how a quiet word or stern glare can reduce me to a nervous wreck.

I am away from home this week on a business course, staying in an hotel.

Of course I had asked Mistress Cara for her permission before I left home.

Mistress had instructed me to drive up without any underwear,which was particularly embarrassing as she knew I would be visiting my sister on the way.

On arrival at the hotel on Sunday I texted Mistress to inform her of her slut's safe arrival.

It felt strange being in the hotel, far away from my Mistress. I felt as if I had gone abroad, not just to Coventry. Thankfully I have my laptop with me, so I can at least worship her photos while I carry out my twice daily edging.

Later in the evening Mistress sent me a text saying that I was to stop wearing normal underwear and that from now on I will only wear pink girlie panties from Primark.

I quickly checked online and found I would not be able to visit their Coventry store due to my work schedule. I desperately begged Mistress Cara to allow me to buy some Tesco panties, as I knew they had a store near-by.

Once again displaying the kindness and understanding which makes her the finest Mistress imaginable, she graciously agreed to allow me to wear Tesco until the weekend. “Cheap panties for a cheap slut” she commanded me.

On Monday during our lunch break I went to the store and looked for suitable panties. There was not much choice, and I began to panic, desperate to please my Mistress.

Finally I found a multi pack of 'granny' knickers which were my size. I sighed with relief and steeled myself for the ordeal of the checkout.

Thankfully the store was not too busy, and the basket only aisle only had one person waiting. The girl on the till gave me a strange look, but said nothing. Even so I could feel myself turning bright red. I quickly paid and left, feeling ashamed and humiliated.

Back at my hotel that evening I tried on the panties. They were a little large, but otherwise they fit me well.

On Tuesday I dressed wearing the pink panties and left for my training course.

Thankfully most of the day was spent sat in the office, but whenever I stood up to walk around I felt the panties starting to fall down. They must be too big, or the elastic too weak.

They weren't too uncomfortable otherwise, but I felt acutely aware of them, and dreaded having to visit the Gents. When I did, I used a cubicle instead of one of the urinals, for fear of being overlooked.

At the hotel that evening I sent Mistress a brief text which she enjoyed and ordered me to write this fuller, detailed journal. Mistress also very kindly chatted via text during the evening, keeping me company in my hotel room. Humiliating and teasing me, but I was grateful to her as always.

Today I dressed again with a pair of panties. I was already becoming used to wearing them, but looked forward to buying some that fit me better, if I am to wear them from now on.

Mistress made an early start, sending me a suggestive and demeaning text before I even left the hotel and continued throughout the day with particularly provocative and arousing texts. How could I concentrate on my work when my head was thinking only of my divine mistress? My tiny award-winning clit was also thinking or her divine beautiful body and started leaking slime onto my new panties.

Again much of the day was spent in the office, but then we spent time in a workshop, when I had to constantly try to pull them up. I hoped no-one noticed.

Then my worst nightmare happened, I went to the Gents, but the cubicle was occupied, I would have to use a urinal after all. No-one else was in there at first, but as I was in mid-stream, a colleague walked in. I hoped desperately that he would not notice the pink panties peeking out of my flies. I could again feel myself blushing, with fear and shame, and quickly left, my heart pounding. As always, I was thinking of my beautiful Mistress, and how she would enjoy my humiliation.

Mistress Cara is rapidly gaining total control of every aspect of my life, having already placed me in permanent chastity, with only occasional releases permitted. Even then I am to drain my sissy slime as quickly and with as little pleasure as possible. Mistress has also told me she intends to find a chastity device that will fit my tiny award-winning cock, as she so enjoys holding the keys.

She has already shown me that, while I may want to cum, I don't need to cum. Slowly I am coming to terms with that fact. And as always, the more effort I make to please and obey Mistress Cara, the more likely she is to reward her useless cumrag.

MistressCara continues to humiliate, shock and delight me in equal measure.

First she announced on her journal that I had won her tiniest cock competition, as well as a humiliating description of my abilities.

She then very graciously consented to take me as her property, imposing strict terms and conditions with severe punishment for failure.

MistressCara is the Mistress of my dreams, beautiful, kind, caring as well as strict, demanding and totally in control.

She has taught me such a simple yet essential lesson, the more time and effort I am prepared to put into serving her, the greater the rewards she will offer to her cumrag. No pain, no gain!! Definitely.

I received another master class from the divine MistressCara last night.

She had hinted that she would allow me to spill my filth. After 2 weeks of denial, and twice daily edging I longed to be able to cum.

I received a text telling me to dress in my sissy pink dress and kneel on the floor and wait.

Her next text told me to edge while worshipping her photos. It did not take long for my little clit to start oozing its sissy juice. 

 I pleaded to be allowed to cum, to spill my sissy juice. I told Mistress how desperate I was, how my baby balls ached, my little clit ached.

All to no avail. MistressCara decided I was simply not desperate enough to cum. She dismissed me, leaving me frustrated, humiliated and denied.

I settled down for a quite night in front of the tv. An hour later I received another text. “ Edge for me again. Just for fun”

My heart lept. Perhaps MistressCara had had a change of heart. I quickly stroked my clit to the edge and again begged for permission to drain my filth. I felt sure she would grant permission this time. Mistress has always been so kind and caring.  

I received another text. “ Another week shouldn’t be so hard, should it? Perhaps I’ll make you bark for me as well.”

Once again I was dismissed.

I felt crushed, frustrated and so humiliated.

With no effort at all divine MistressCara had demonstrated yet again her total control over her useless slut.

Thank You Mistress, thank You so much. You are the most wonderful Mistress I could possibly imagine and serving You is always a pleasure.

Mistress Cara recently announced that she would be auctioning some of her knickers and panties.

Naturally as one of her slaves I was keen to win them. I immediately submitted a bid and waited anxiously for the auction to end. Mistress had posted a photo of them, and I studied them closely.

A mixture of 'sensible' panties, sexy knickers and thongs. And all had been worn by my beautiful Mistress. Ideal for her slut to worship and treasure.

After several days the auction ended and one Sunday I received an e-mail from Mistress.

I had won!! How fantastic! Mistress also kindly offered to wear them all one last time before sending them to me. I quickly sent payment and begged my Mistress to wear them so that her wonderful aroma would go with them to me.

Two days later Mistress sent me a text saying that the precious knickers were in the post to her slut. The next day I rushed home, eager to check my post. Nothing! Oh well, I was being optimistic. The day after, the same result. Damn the Post Office. Don't they realise how important the package is?

The next day I was certain they would be waiting for me, but still the Post Office had failed me. I even jokingly suggested to Mistress Cara that she had arranged this delay on purpose, to tease and torment me more than usual. Mistress reassured me that they had been posted on time. I just had to be patient. Not my strong point. I wanted to smell them, touch them, feel them where they had touched my Mistress's intimate parts.

Finally after more than a week they were waiting for me when I got home from work.

I was tempted to rip the package open, but resisted and turned it over slowly. Mistress herself had touched this, sealed her knickers inside and wrote her slaves address on the outside. That alone meant it should be opened carefully, respectfully.

Inside was a brief hand written note. “For my slut, love Mistress Cara. XXX”

My heart was beating fast as I carefully took the panties out. They were neatly folded and placed on top of each other.

I picked them all up and inhaled deeply. The heady aroma made me feel light-headed, ecstatic that I now possessed something that my Mistress had used, owned.

I took them one at a time, smelling each one, feeling the soft material, imagining where they had been, where I longed to be. I looked for traces of her juices, felt for the rougher material. Thoughtfully Mistress had also made sure that most of them also had traces of her real man's cum on them,where it had leaked out of Mistress.

She enjoys cuckolding her slut and knew that this would humiliate me.

Momentarily it did, but nothing could dampen my delight at having such precious items to treasure.

As the evening passed, I kept smelling them, feeling them. I sent Mistress Cara several texts thanking her for her generosity. She responded in normal fashion by humiliating me and belittling me, describing in great detail how her man had pleasured her last night and would do so again tonight. I longed for my evening edging to begin, so I could wrap a pair of knickers around my little clit as I worshipped my divine Mistress.

It felt wonderful, my cock was finally inside Mistress's knickers. They had touched her divine pussy, my cock was now touching them. I nearly lost control and spilled my sissy slime.

I prepared to go to bed and laid the sexiest thongs on my pillow. I would go to sleep with my face buried them, dreaming of being able to do so while my Mistress was still wearing them. Her perfume made my clit ache and throb, desperate to cum. But of course Mistress enjoys keeping her slut in chastity, so I tossed and turned all night!

When I woke in the morning, I placed all but one pair in an airtight container, to preserve their freshness for as long as possible. I would take one at a time until the aroma faded, then take another.

I wondered if I dared ask Mistress to refresh them when they were all drained of her.

I know she will humiliate me mercilessly if I do, belittling me and shaming me.

But I will ask, because I am hooked on the divine aroma of my Mistress. I am hooked entirely on my Mistress.

This dream is inspired by the divine MistressCara and is lovingly dedicated to her. As am I.

It was a Friday night, about 8.00 pm when I received a text from Mistress. “Report to my house in one hour”.

Although Mistress had previously given me her address this would be the first time I had visited her, or even met her.

My heart was pounding as I hurriedly dressed, wearing my frilly pink knickers under my clothes.

Mistress lives about 30 minutes away, so I drove carefully through the Friday night traffic, hardly able to concentrate on the road, wondering what lay in store. Mistress had previously teased me by suggesting that at our first meeting she might just open the door, slap my face and spit on me before slamming the door. I would have to go home frustrated and humiliated, but also delighted at even such a brief moment in her great presence. Of course I hoped for more, craved much more. What lay in store??

I arrived early so parked around the corner, determined to be punctual. As the time approached, I drove up to her house and parked. I sent a final text so that Mistress knew I was ready. I got out of the car and walked up to her front door and waited patiently, my stomach churning in anticipation.

After a few moments the hall light was turned off and the door opened just enough to let me in.

I went into the darkened hallway and could just make out a shadowy figure. I instinctively fell to my knees and stared at the floor.

No words were spoken, but her slim elegant finger beckoned me to follow her up the darkened stairs. Trembling, I crawled after her on hands and knees, catching a glimpse of her high heels and bare ankles. I did not dare to look further. I followed her into the bedroom, which was lit by a soft bedside lamp. I stopped, staring at the carpet, nerves on edge.

“Strip naked, put these on and wait.” A heavy black leather collar and a pair of cuffs dropped in front of me. Her voice was soft and seductive, like velvet, but there was no mistaking her authority.

I sensed Mistress leave the room and heard her muffled footsteps going down stairs. I hurriedly stripped off, debated briefly whether to keep my knickers on and after a moments doubt took them off as well. I put the collar on and resumed my position on my knees at the end of the bed before struggling to put the cuffs on with my hands behind my back.

The whole room had her presence, the heady aroma of her favorite perfume, Obsession Sheer by Calvin Klein. Over the mirror a leather bullwhip was casually draped. Sexy lace underwear on a chair.

After what felt like an eternity, I heard footsteps on the stairs again, this time there were two sets. My heart was beating faster and faster, I thought I might pass out in anticipation. My little cock was twitching uncontrollably, my palms sweating. I dropped to my hands and knees, not daring to breathe, staring intently at the beige carpet in front of my nose.

I saw two perfect, exquisite bare feet move into my view. The toenails were immaculate and painted bright red and looked irresistible. I vaguely sensed the other person undressing and moving to the bed. After another eternity the bedside light went out and I felt a silky soft dressing gown drape over my trembling body and the feet moved away and into bed.

No words had been spoken at all, I had not even seen my Mistress properly, but didn’t care, I was with my divine Mistress, the culmination of weeks of dreams and desire. If Mistress kicked me out now I would be the luckiest slave ever.

My mind was still spinning when the bed began to move rhythmically, gentle moans and whispers escaping.

I stayed rooted to the spot, not daring to move, like a startled deer caught in headlights.

More noises, deep and throaty, wet and juicy. The bed speeded up, shaking the floor boards, rattling her makeup on the dresser. Then there would be silence for a few moments before the movement began again. This seemed to carry on for hours, while I stayed motionless, imagining the delights, the rapture just a few inches away from me. Humiliated knowing I would never please any woman in this way, delighted that my Mistress was being pleasured by a real man with a huge cock to fill her. I let out a silent whimper of frustration.

Eventually the movement, the moans and groans rose to a climax and then stopped. Silence. Was I to stay or quietly leave?

The beautiful feet re-appeared and I felt a chain that went around the foot of the bed being clipped to my collar.

“Lie down little slut, and sleep.” Her voice was deeper, huskier than before, still full of spent passion. Just the sound of it made my cock want to explode. As I lay down I felt a pair of moist lace panties fall across my face, and the feet vanished.

I lay on the hard unyielding floor, forcing myself to breathe, trying to calm my pulse to normal. Trying to get comfortable with the cuffs restricting me. I inhaled deeply the aroma of the panties and could taste the sweet smell of her sex, her juices. His cum.

I hardly slept all night and could hear two gentle breathing noises, with the occasional movement as they lay entwined.

Eventually I heard them stir, low whispers and kissing, some giggling.

The man got out of bed and went to the bathroom.

“Come here slut!”  

I crawled round to the side of the bed. The duvet covered all of my Mistress’ perfect body except for her eyes, her beautiful deep, brown eyes. “Get under the cover and crawl between my legs you whore”.

With the collar and chain and cuffs I struggled to get under the duvet and began to inch myself between her slim elegant legs. Once again my heart was pounding, my pulse racing, my little clit hard.

I felt Mistress’ hand on my head as she stopped me.

Her voice soft and sensual, she purred “ You know what to do now, cumrag. Clean your Mistress. Now!”

I struggled to inch closer but could feel her hand resisting me. The aroma was indescribable, pure concentrated feminine musk. It was so strong it was difficult to breathe. Such a heady, heavenly blend of her juices, her natural odour, her perfume. Oh god I wish she would bottle the essence. And more than a hint of real man’s cum.

I finally struggled to reach my destiny, my holy grail, my temple.

I carefully began to lick her, savouring the many tastes and smells, feeling her silky soft thighs slowly clamp my head into position. The collar and chain made it difficult to reach her, and Mistress made it more so by inching away from my eager, desperate tongue. Teasing me. Tormenting me, as always.

The taste sensations went to my head again, I felt sure I would pass out. Her juices were distinctive, like the finest wine, to be savoured, rolled around my tongue. And then I had my first full taste of a mans cum, a dribble at first and then as if a tap had been opened, it seemed to pour out of her tight pink pussy, and into my mouth. I nearly wretched at first, but had to continue, or this would be the first and last time I would serve my divine Mistress.

As I continued lapping gently with my tongue, I felt her breath quicken, her thighs start to tremble and quiver.

I had managed to clean Mistress as instructed, but could not lick her dry. Her juices flowed faster as her breath quickened.

Finally she shoved me away, I fell out of the bed.

“Get dressed and leave me now, cumrag.”

I fumbled to undo the collar and cuffs, dressed hurriedly and let my self out the front door. I hadn’t even laid eyes on my Mistress, and yet I had served her and worshipped her as I had dreamed of so many times.

As I drove home, I knew I should have felt humiliated, ashamed and cuckolded. My overwhelming feeling was of joy, pure joy at serving my divine Mistress just as she wished.

As I finally got home I wondered if it had all been yet another dream? And if so, was it my dream, or my Mistress’?

I still don’t know.

MistressCara has very kindly been spending some of her valuable time training her pathetic cumrag over the past few days.

On Friday evening she decided to cuckold me and ordered me to strip naked, kneel in front of her beautiful photos and edge while she enjoyed her real man with his huge cock pleasuring her. I felt humiliated and ashamed, coaxing my little dicky while I knew she was being pounded by a real man.

Mistress then instructed me to write a journal report as well as an e-mail report on my feeling of inadequacy.

On Saturday morning Mistress informed me that she would post my e-mail on her journal for every one to see how useless and pathetic her cumrag really is.  

Mistress had to punish me on Saturday afternoon for disagreeing with her. I had to spend time kneeling naked in a corner while I contemplated just how lucky I am to serve such a beautiful Mistress.

Mistress had wanted to text me in the evening when I was drunk at home and she was out on the town with her man. I dreaded upsetting her while I was drunk, with an inappropriate reply, but Mistress was determined to have her fun.

She duly sent me texts telling me how much fun she was having, what she was wearing, how her man was touching her.

On Sunday morning Mistress very kindly told me I had successfully bid to win her used knickers at auction, and that she would wear them one last time so her perverted cumrag could sniff them and smell her scent and the taste of her mans cum. I was so pleased and excited to be able to own something of my Mistress.

Later on Sunday I foolishly said I was desperate to cum and begged Mistress for release.

Mistress told me to kneel down in front of a picture of her pussy and edge while imagining licking every millimetre clean of cum while she laughingly and mockingly told me every detail of her man fucking her.

In the evening Mistress asked if I was still desperate to spill my sissy juice and said she would consider allowing me to spurt if I edged every ten minutes for an hour first. While on my knees. In my sissy pink maids dress. Like a good sissy rag doll. I tried so hard to coax my little dicky into life but after only a few edges it was more and more difficult.

Mistress was very annoyed with my pathetic efforts and decided I didn’t need to cum at all and said she would reconsider in a few weeks. As a final humiliation for Sunday Mistress told me she had just shown my journal entry to her man, who thought it was hilarious.

On Monday Mistress teased me by text, telling me which of her knickers she was wearing, how they were making her horny for sex. With a real man. Not ever with her sissy cumrag.

In the evening Mistress again told me to edge while her man pleasured her again with his huge cock, while I could only whine and moan in frustration as yet again I tried to coax my useless clit into life.

MistressCara is the most wonderful Mistress imaginable, her beauty, elegance and sophistication inspire her useless cumrag to serve her in anyway she wishes. Mistress knows I am totally useless, that my pathetic little dicky will never please any woman, and yet she has spent so much of her valuable time training me to become her sissy cumrag, fit only to lick her clean and to amuse her as she wishes.

I am so useless and pathetic that I cannot even write elegant erotic journals praising divine Mistress Cara,  as her other slaves do. Instead I hope this glimpse into her sissy slaves pathetic life will inspire others to contact her and beg to be accepted by her as slaves. I have never been so happy and content, knowing that Mistress Cara has total control over me. 

MistressCara has sent me the following “I want a journal entry stating in great detail the difference between you and a real man. Also, how a real man pleases Mistress and the few ways you are able to. I want it tonight.”

A real man is able to please Mistress in many ways. To begin with he is good looking, fit and well built.

I am overweight, unfit, flabby and ugly.

A real man takes care to dress to please Mistress, whatever I wear I look like a sack of shit.

A real man’s body is toned with well defined muscles and he walks upright and proud. I only have flabby wasted muscles and slouch when I walk.

A real man is able to please Mistress sexually, something I can only dream of. He is equipped with a large cock which will satisfy Mistress every time. It is so long and fat that every time he penetrates her she feels it pounding against her cervix, making Mistress moan in ecstasy. A real man cums so hard that Mistress feels his hot juice flooding into her.

A real man will also be able to satisfy Mistress with his tongue, knowing how to lick her, knowing how to suck and flick her clit to please her.

I can do none of these things. My cock is like a little shrivelled worm, fit only to pee with. Even when erect it is less than 3” long. No woman would even feel it inside her. As soon as it does get hard it starts to dribble sissy slime and spurts within a couple of minutes.

The only way I am able to please Mistress is to submit to her humiliation and cuckolding. She has kept me in chastity for 5 weeks, with only a brief release last week.

Mistress enjoys telling me in great detail just exactly how her man satisfied her, and how she satisfied him.

She enjoys making me suffer and reading how frustrated, humiliated and ashamed I am, knowing she is satisfied every night. She has just instructed me to spend an hour edging myself while she fucks her real man, as this adds to her pleasure.

Mistress also enjoys training me to be her sissy maid and has recently instructed me to buy a frilly pink maids uniform. She was delighted with the photos I sent her, showing how ridiculous I look.

Apart from buying Mistress gifts, these are the only ways that I am able to please her.

Mostly, Mistress is pleased that she controls every aspect of her pathetic useless cumrag. It is my greatest pleasure to serve the Mistress of my dreams, who I have been searching for for many years. Thank You MistressCara.