oncesweetpea

i have rats  in a cage   for my son with autism  also  2 cats   and a blind english bulldog   and if i could have a alligator i would have  and if i was younger  thinner  and no kids   or family of nuts  no i have all that   regrets  and wants  and tired of not being good enough  because rats or  not being bi   and no one can control me  not being with me  

same ole same ole     hurt me once shame on You    hurt me twice shame on me   Shame on me    Shame on me    Shame on me  

i was ok at the Doctor  many thanks   

In Church today   reflected a lot    was more business   than messages   and i am not sure i am a  go to church person tho i faith In God and love Jesus and don't know where i stand with Them , this is a roller coaster  up's   and downs   been more downs's  with unable to relocate , tomorrow is a test of something    i prayed for strenght  to not freak out  , but i do just thinking of what i should wear  my thinking is wrong   wanting to please  does no one any good   back to  being  a lost cause in Maryville Tennessee

this week  harder than  anyone before   and seeing my friend   didn't help   and i need a mind change   a good spanking to allow me to cry it out 

please  keep in mind even me has feelings  and  are very tender  now 

Anxious  don't know how it comes across  the Doctor issue is back  another new Doctor and   going alone    and most likely  won't get on that table 

and i do mess up   more than my life  and i take this serious   finding a Master  i am sorry i messed up truly   past my bedtime 

just gonna say it    i am in Tennessee  till death most likely .

i have a Child   with Autism   that comes First

and i may be a slave   but i am not bi  even if it pleases You   gotta be true to myself 

A slave needs TPE domination and control as much as it needs air to breath. A slave is the Master's property to do with as he wishes. The slave must have total trust, faith and belief in the Master. The slave should live every second in unconditional servitude and devotion to the Master. Nothing matters to the slave except pleasing, serving and suffering for its Master's pleasure. A slave must learn to endure because it knows that it pleases the Master push his slave as far as he wants to. The word no can't exist for a slave. It has no morals or taboos and its only limits are those if its Master.

will never understand everything     but knowing one's own ability is humbling  and getting down  to who  one is    this one knows is Not bi   

i was really shocked   looking at photo's   how many people do not shave , and i was  brought up different is a given  but for this  hair is nasty 

whats the worse  is no set  times  i want to go to bed   but   don't 

my breast hate me     they will not make milk for me 

want to wish All   happy Journeys  if the world ends as we know it     and a Merry Christmas   either way   , if you love someone let them know  daily 

a wonderful man Dr  RAY   has helped me so much  put things in my past   open me up  to more  as slave   fixed my sleeping problem     He is amazing with hypnosis   so very kind   

found this  and really liked it...............................................................................................

Not only do I need the playful sting of your open palm against my raised ass -
I want your sweet, sadistic voice so close to my ear whispering, "Take it for me."

Not only do I need to have you grab a handful of my hair, forcing me to sprawl across your lap -
I want the warmth of your body wrapping me tightly, owning me, claiming me.

Not only do I need to be bound, held captive, in every imaginable position for your pleasure -
I want you to taste my tears, to strumb your fingertips against my moistened, tear stained cheeks as your eyes drink up my submission to you.

Not only do I need you to taunt me with the sweet sting of your tools -
I want the soft back and forth motion of your hands against the rising welts you have created leaving me barren and breathless.

Not only do I need you to throw me against the wall, in a manner the 'vanilla' would define abusive -
I want your body, pressed against mine, growling in my ear, "My good girl."

Not only do I need to be locked in your cage, counting the minutes, hours, until you free me so that I can feel you, taste you, lose myself in your dominance once again -
I want your complete attention. I want your force. I want your tenderness.

I need you to release what is dark and hidden inside of me. I need you to hold my submission captive for your pleasure. I need to feel I have pleased you after you have exhausted and played me like an instrument at your feet.

I want you to hear me, just me, above all the noise in the room.

Just me and you,

And, your beautiful, sadistic mind.

That's what I want and need.

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