Mtnsubmsv13


mtnsub Male Submissive, 55, Sharonville, Ohio	mtnsub67 Female Submissive, 45, lyons, Colorado	mtnsubCO Male Submissive, 27

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	WaspDaddy



	About Mtnsubmsv13 Owned by WaspDaddy Please do not under any exception contact me without express permission of my Owner. He can be reached here on CM. Thank you. "You say that my way of thinking cannot be tolerated? What of it? The man who alters his way of thinking to suit others is a fool. My way of thinking is the result of my reflections. It is part of my inner being, the way I am made"--Marquis de Sade I am submissive by nature, always have been and always will be. I am a masochist. If you just "can't inflict pain on the one you love," then I'm not the one for you. I found this lifestyle 11 years ago and have been living it realtime in one form or another ever since. If you are looking for a woman who is submissive, intelligent and sometimes child-like, creative with a dry sense of humor, drop me a note. Let me unequivocably state: (1) I don't and won't do long distance and I will not relocate; (2) If you are married and your spouse is not active with you in this lifestyle, I am not interested as this is a non-negotiable hard limit; (3) I expect to be treated like a lady which means don't send me naked pictures of yourself. No matter how big your cock is it doesn't impress me, it offends me. "Keep me rather in this cage, and feed me sparingly, if You dare. Anything that brings me closer to illness and the edge of death makes me more faithful. It is only when You make me suffer that I feel safe and secure. You should never have agreed to be a god for me if You were afraid to assume the duties of a god, and we all know that they are not as tender as all that. You have already seen me cry. Now You must learn to relish my tears."--Taken from The Story of O, written by Pauline Reage

Ya know... I hear you doms when you complain about the lack of manners when the recipient of your message does not reply at all. But, c'mon guys... when the best you can do is, "Hi there," I'm sorry but the clit in my brain just doesn't get engaged by that. As well, a picture of you banging a women for your primary photo doesn't send shivers of desire to respond to you up my spine either... no matter how bisexual I am. /rant

Today's the day... leaving SoCal.

Still in SoCal. Went to the Collarme Social at the Lair last week. Met some very nice people. Didn't see any of the folks I was hoping to see since I'm leaving here. Oh well.

I miss LordDan and will always feel his presence while at the Lair. RIP my beloved friend. I will never forget you and all that you meant and did for me.

I know I'm going to miss Lair de Sade very much. It's funny, knowing something or someone is always there and not seeing them is one thing, but when one leaves the absence is sorrowful. I have many cherished memories of the Lair since its inception so many years ago.

Sadomasochism: symbolic violence

"One partner inflicts pain or humiliation to help the other gain emotional catharsis. Sadomasochism eroticizes mental and physical pain by synthesizing body, mind, and spirit. The stronger the passion the more intense the ritual. For the masochist, the violent loss of control translates into physic orgasm and the obliteration of self.

Masochists strive for the completion of the soul, satsifying an inner god who demands attention and shedding the smaller self. The goal is oblivion, ridding oneself of conflict and limitation. [They] wish to contact unknown dimensions of themselves, because touching the unknown is tantamount to touching God...

To view the experience as people wanting pain for the sake of pain is a superficial understanding; masochists reach for deeper psychological ground by spiritualizing the ordeal. They want to come to terms with the inner parodoxes of pain and desire. Obedience, suffering, shame, and surrender to achieve transcendence form the heart of masochism just as they do religion.

The goal is to experience mental purging and extend ones psychological space."

Katherine Ramsland, Ph.D. on Anne Rices "Beauty" trilogy.

Looking forward to Lair de Sade this weekend. I'm not leaving SoCal without some very nice stripes on my back and ass. Mr. Singletail and I are going to rekindle our longstanding passion dance a few times more before I leave here.

I know when I was first introduced to D/s and BDSM that it was latent within me. I felt as though I woke up to who I really was. But this is not really discernable at first by someone else, is it?

The risk of alienation of someone deeply cared for is a question to be weighed carefully. And yet, I bear no shame for who I am and what I do.

Sometimes I wonder if this perversion is a curse. Sometimes I wish I could walk away but the harder I try the more the she-tiger screams in her cage.

Life moves on and a new adventure begins...

Okay how about this... If you're a nice person, no matter where you live, perhaps we can chat. Contemplating leaving SoCal for a midwestern or northern state sometime soon. It seems as though there are those on here who just want to be argumentative and/or nasty. I'd like to talk to positive people about all the good things in life. Aside from being a sadist, how about some doms out there who are nice, courteous, and a gentleman.

Well, well, well... some things change and some things do not. I just went back and read over some journal entries, especially the one by de Sade.

"You say that my way of thinking cannot be tolerated? What of it? The man who alters his way of thinking to suit others is a fool. My way of thinking is the result of my reflections. It is part of my inner being, the way I am made"--Marquis de Sade

This still rings a resounding bell of truth, whether it is applied to this lifestyle or just life. My way of thinking is borne of my experiences and my perceptions thereof. What is truth? Everyone has their own truth, I just don't want to subjegate mine to the vanilla world. Sometimes I think it would be so much easier to find a vanilla, go on a couple dates, and then what? We all know it eventually comes back to this primal force which drives us. Would I be able to supress the gag if a man said he wanted to "make love" to me? I admit I'm not as easily submissive as I once was. I can't Yessir any man who comes along claiming to be dominant anymore. I've seen, experienced, and grown too much to give it up that easily now. Convince me. Convince me that you are bigger, stronger, smarter, and dominant enough to be the dom and the daddy. I want to play the woman's role - I don't want to fix the garbage disposal that's a man's job. I want to be the equal - the equally considered opinion/voice. I am not less than because I like to be tied up. Or spanked. Or whipped. I want to be taken care of just as much as I want to take care of a man.

Engage me. Engage my mind because you'll never get to my body without that. Or to my submission for that matter.

Hmmm, interesting... I was looking through my Admirers only to find those who added me back in 2005. Such a long time ago. I wonder if they've found the one they were on here hoping to find.

"For one sweet moment I am whole" -Tool
Can I ever walk away from BDSM? No, I know in my heart I'll never be able to. No matter how busy I get with business, my kid, and everything else that makes up daily life... it's still back there. Waiting, prowling around like a cat in heat, quietly waiting. Sometimes she growls and leaps and scratches the backs of my eyes to remind me she still there. Waiting, lusting for the sex and the pain, dreaming of the whip. In my mind I pace the insides of this self imposed cage, fearing what's beyond these bars. In my heart I know what lies beyond... freedom. The only true freedom I have ever known - the freedom evoked from the searing, white hot, mind numbing pain I have tasted and fear to reach for again.

"Only this one holy medium brings me peace of mind." Tool

Okay, so they say confession is good for the soul. I haven't had much to say or do with this site in over a year. Went out with several doms from this site, some worked - others didn't. The last one I liked but I think I scared him away. I now believe I did this purposefully on a subconscious level by revealing too much, too soon for him. I've had a lot of trauma drama in my life - my past life (not like a past life regression thing!). Just in my past. Thank goodness that is all over and done with.

So after that one I kinda retreated into my life here in the mountains. Pursuing my art and inner growth. Learning about LOA and Abraham-Hicks. It's really opened my eyes and answered the "why?" to so many questions.

And then the wildfires came... I'm one of the lucky ones. My house survived.

So, why am I writing all this? I still get mail on here, much of it unanswered. I don't respond because I've gained so much weight. A boon and a curse of womankind. That's the honest and ugly truth. I'm still the same woman I was when I put up this profile, still the same desires. I see those trying to contact me because of my profile and pic and don't respond because I won't be one of those who get to know you and then right before the meet tell you, "I need to tell you something...." I hate that. I am, by nature, such an honest person, upfront. Sometimes brutal honestly works in my favor, and sometimes it doesn't. But when it doesn't, I still won't change that part of me. It's too integral to my character.

So, here I am back to the beginning of this entry. I've made my confession. I apologize to those of you who have written and failed to get a response from me. And to those who write to me henceforth, know that I am the happiest I've been in my life; the most at peace, and "the future's so bright, I've gotta wear shades."

Peace and wellbeing.

Please don't ask for the truth if you're not man enough or mature enough to handle the whole, honest truth.

How interesting to read over my past journal entries to find the only positive one is a quote by the Marquis de Sade. So many times I contemplate posting this or that but refrain because it would only be so much negative stuff about people who can't spell or construct a complete sentence. Oh, and capitalization never goes out of style, just like good manners.

Just for record... Married = Hard Limit. I was someone's wife once. Usually, these marrieds that want a sub on the side have kids but claim "it won't affect my kids or my family life." Bullshit.

Back from being gone from here for months, so if you messaged me over the last couple months and got no response it was because I never read it.

Try again and maybe I'll respond.

I guess I totally just don't get it. Could someone please explain to me why these doms from thousands of miles away contact me? Are subs flying across the country to meet some "dom" they've met on here? Please, will someone explain this to me... maybe I'm just too blonde to understand.

Ok... let's try this again... If you live some place other than SoCal you don't need to contact me. What's the point?

"You say that my way of thinking cannot be tolerated? What of it? The man who alters his way of thinking to suit others is a fool. My way of thinking is the result of my reflections. It is part of my inner being, the way I am made"--Marquis de Sade

And a woman spoke, saying, "Tell us of pain." And He said, "Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain." -- Kahlil Gibran

Please if you are from out of state, Bay area, or anywhere other than within driving distance, please look elsewhere. I am only interested in those who are local to me. Also, if you are married - go away.

Quote: Wit is educated insolence. Aristotle

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Mtnsubmsv13

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