MsMostlyHarmless

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	sheep



	Vancouver, BC: looking for local friends. I am: 32 years old, bi, kinky, dominant, poly, feminist (if you understand the difference between feminism and female supremacy, you just earned yourself a bonus point!), and leading a fairly normal, well-adjusted, somewhat conservative life. Outside of the kink scene some of my interests are: feminism, psychology, sci-fi, environmental issues, social causes, creative writing, blogging, cooking, and volunteering. I am looking for like-minded young(ish)local friends (ages 20-something to 30-something) to get to know, hang out with, talk, share ideas. I'd like to find people who will ideally become long-term friends.

I used to be very surprised when receiving one-liner emails, stupid bordering or rude, or rude, bordering on stupid.

I, the impressionable young girl, fresh out of university, would sit and stare at the one-liner and wonder: Who on earth is the real person behind this crude one-liner (or behind an unsolicited naked picture)? Doesn't he understand that most women are turned off by careless spelling? Doesn't he know that most women are repulsed by being "flashed" without invitation (and yes! there's a big difference between stripping FOR someone when asked, and flashing someone unasked...).

As I got older and wiser, stupid emails stopped being a mystery to me. I realized: Bitchy Jones is right. It's not that those men don't KNOW what women want/like. They don't need advice. They know. They just don't care. Somehow, they were taught that they can behave however they want, that they don't need be courteous towards women, that they don't need to put any thought or effort into communicating with women... and that they have the god-given right to impose their penis (or fetishes) on any woman who is interested in sex or kink.

There is not an ounce of submission there. It's patriarchy all over again, just in a format of "Femdom" kink, so that it gives you an excuse not to feel guilty about it. And if this is too complex a thought for you, perhaps you are too young for sex and BDSM.

"Dear Goddess!

I am a worthless slave no limits, residing in Texas. I would like to be humiliated and eat your shit, because I am a worthless slave. I am also available to eat the shit of all your female dominant friends!

Sincerely, worthless slave, no limits."

"Dear worthless slave,

Thank you for your kindest offer. However, it is completely unnecessary.

You see, here in Canada, we have an excellent sewage system, and all buildings come with indoor plumbing. All fecal matter is disposed off in a sanitary manner, by being flushed down the toilets. The more rustic cabins are often equipped with compost toilets, which, while not very convenient to use, still seem like a better option than consuming human crap.

I really do have a lot of sympathy for y'all in Texas, having to eat each other's shit. But don't give up, one day you'll have indoor plumbing, too. Maybe you should vote Democrat in the next election."

On average I receive about 3-5 pictures of male penises per day.

Usually they are not accompanied by much of anything: maybe a one-liner, such as, "DO U LKIE THIS!!?" or "can i b yr slave", which of course only adds to the mystery and the mystique of the sender. After all, anyone who is too busy to write more than one line, or to spell properly, obviously has a very packed social and professional life, and therefore deserves my instant attention. And anyone who does not adhere to the nettiquette is clearly a nonconformist - ah, how my heart skips each time I get an email written in all capitals... especially when it is accompanied by a random penis picture!

Now, I appreciate random penis pictures from strangers as much as any regular girl. But that said, honestly guys, after 7 months on collarme, I have enough of them. You've been very generous! Beyond my wildest dreams! I now have enough penis pictures to cover the walls of my apartment. In fact, I have enough penis pictures to start my own porn web site, solely dedicated to penises. I would actually start such a website, but I am afraid it would take up too much banwidth due to the overwhelming demand and crash the internet or something :-P

And now that my need for random penis pictures is met, possibly forever (thanks again, all you random creepy guys!), I would like to find some friends. Just people to chat with, go to movies with, go clubbing with. People who might have "velocity of honey" and "zombie survival guide" on their bookshelf. People who have a creative streak. People with a quick wit and a strange, random-ish sense of humor. People who are not so successful and busy with their lives that they can afford to take a couple of extra seconds and spell "you" in full, without abbreviating it to "u".

I often wonder how the "no strings" housework actually works. Many male submissives/slaves/pets with no limits express outrage at the idea of the no strings housework. Well, who wouldn't ? Those women who would remorselessly enslave another human being and force them to do the dishes should be ashamed of themselves, the lazy skanks. I agree with the sentiment in theory. It's awfully selfish to look for "no strings" housework. But I would be lying if I said I was never tempted. After working a 60 hour week, one must be a saint to say "no" to an offer like that. I mean, yes, getting something for nothing is terrible for your spirit, and your personal growth, and blah blah blah, but honestly, on Friday night I don't want to grow as a person. I just want someone to cook for me : ) Those who actually offer their free "no strings" services, intrigue me. Just one thing... if it takes me 3 hours to put someone in a fancy costume so that they would do 15 minutes of sweeping.... that's definitely strings! : )

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