| |
|
|
Home |
|
|
|
|
Browse |
|
|
|
|
|
Live |
|
|
|
|
Join |
|
Collarspace |
|
|
|
|
Dating |
|
|
|
|
News |
|
|
|
|
Mobile |
|
|
|
|
Alt |
|
|
|
|
Safety |
|
|
|
|
Toys |
|
|
|
|
Friends |
|
|
|
|
Resources |
|
|
|
|
Welcome |
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Login |
|
|
 |
|
 | |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
| |
I am a naturally Dominant Lesbian.
(A note, before I begin... Before you contact me, read the whole profile... And read the "journal entries" below, as well.)
No, I was not 'trained' to be a Domme.
I have knelt to no-one. I lack the unique experiences and flexibility of a switch, and I've never had the beautiful qualities that make someone naturally submissive.
Since no-one taught me to be the way I am, I sometimes have very little patience for the pedantic, ritualized game some people make of Dominance and submission. This isn't a game for me... It's just how I am. That doesn't necessarily mean I'll have nothing to do with you if it is a game for you... Just that I'm different from you in that respect.
I am a natural Dominant. Perhaps I'm a creature of another age. In this time when it seems so very few accept responsibility, even for their own actions, I am she who is naturally comfortable under the weight of full and total responsibility for the guidance and discipline of those whose natural place is to follow, or even serve me - much as a romanticized landed noble of medior monogamous), realistic M/s or 'TPE' LTR... Which is to say, primarily, that 'slaves' rather than 'subs'* may get easier consideration.
*more on my views on all these conditions in a journal entry to come soon.
***END UPDATE***
Does it mean that I'm cold or distant or unemotional? No. Not particularly, I think... Although I do often display a very "level" demeanor, I can also be very affectionate when the mood strikes me. Though I might not always be prone to overly antic displays, I wouldn't be interested in any kind of long term relationship with someone I felt no emotional connection to whatever. I wouldn't keep a dog I didn't love... Why any different a sub or slave? Affection and companionship are always going to be required of my pets.
There is generally no need for brutality, cruelty, or blundering barbarism, either... Outside of "special needs" in certain situations, I see no reason to sink from perfect grace and civility. I do not beg, wheedle, bully, threaten, or cajole. I merely require... And I do not do so in any way that is not befitting of somone of my refinement.
If any of this disgusts or bothers you, forgive me if I don't pretend to care. If it calls to some deep part of you, then make contact. Do not wait to catch me online, as I'm usually too busy to accept chat requests from people I don't know... Even if I were so inclined. Email or send a note and ask for an audience.
If it merely interests you intellectually and you want to talk, feel free to make contact, as well.
Do not, however, in any case, send me an uninvited chat request if we've not at least talked by email. Do not send me from-the-hip style email that reads anything like "you look nice. can I be yours?" or "my yahoo id is 'cluelessone' add me and we chat." I'll probably not consider such email worth answering, and if I -do- you may well wish I hadn't.
This is true enough if you "just want to talk" too... If you want to talk, then talk. Introduce yourself. Make conversation. Don't send me what amounts to an imperious summons and expect a favorable response.
If you're trying to capture my attention as a submissive or slave, then you should consider first contact with me to be at least as momentous as sending a resume to a potential employer. Spelling and grammar count, within reason. Form and clarity count. Thoroughness and honesty count in spades.
If your email says essentially nothing about you, and your profile says essentially nothing about you, expect me to say essentially nothing in response.
I won't be asking you to come see me next week*, I won't be initiating cyber or phone sex, and I won't be asking for nude photos of you, but if you attract my attention, you should be prepared to assure me you're not wasting my time... This could mean telephone conversations, sending me more than a couple photos taken at different places or times and showing your face clearly
(...for the love of... Let me also mention this. I worked in digital stock and advertising for almost 20 years... Do not send me photos of a professional model, unless you're also prepared to send me a scan of your driver's license with sensitive information blacked out. Another tip for those using fake photos... You might want to not use photos used in the fake personal ads in the sidebar of this site.
Sadly, I'm not kidding. I've seen it happen. True fact.)
Oh... And the asterisk (*) on the "come see me next week" comment... This is more an advisory for newer submissives. If a dominant you meet online wants you to meet her for the first time on her turf, away from your safety zone and your support mechanisms, this should raise HUGE red flags for you. Once you get in a strange city, without any friends or family around, with limited choices and recourse, your safety and position can become very tenuous, very quickly.
As a submissive, you are more at risk from predators than we as dominants are. Always make first meetings on safe, neutral ground, at worst... And any dominant worth her salt should insist on first meetings somewhere not only neutral, but where you, the submissive, feel and actually are very, very safe.
Any exceptions should come after very, very long association or in very rare circumstances (for instance, one wonderful girl I met here was in the military, on active duty... After about a year of conversation, she flew here, since I couldn't very well fly to Iraq to see her. But we already knew one another very well by then.)
Lastly, I must apologise in advance if it takes me a few weeks or more to respond... And it may well. Sometimes work and other concerns take me away from this site for a few weeks at a time, but I always return eventually. |
|
|
|
|
Something I said in a recent conversation with someone about someone I'd classify as a "play dominant"... It should be noted that this is said mostly in jest, but with a kernal of truth, as most all jest has...
::yoda voice:: Ready is She? What knows she of "ready"?
For eight hundred years have I trained submissives! My own counsel will I keep on who is worthy to call themselves My equal!
A Dominant must have the deepest commitment... The most serious mind...
(Indicating Xxxx) This one a long time have I watched... Never her mind on... Where. She. Was. Hmm?
On What. She's. Doing. Hmph!
Platitudes... Heh!
Titillation... Hah!
Toys!?! HAH!
A True Dominant craves not these things.
(turning to Xxxx) You are frivolous!
|
| |
| |
|
|
...has anyone but me noticed, lately, a rash of pesky 'girl' profiles that make obvious reference to hunting for a man, but can't even be bothered to pay enough attention to what they're doing to uncheck (or not check in the first place... Been ages since I created a profile here, obviously) the "seeking" options for females?
Like I need to see a string of profiles of people who are obviously not that bright looking for teh cocque.
Would it be wrong of me to insert a joke about how it appears the het girls really -are- as bright as the sexist male jokes indicate they are?
|
| |
| |
|
|
For some time now, I've been thinking about this additional entry I need to make. I think I can perhaps save both of us a lot of time this way... So to speak.
Unfortunately, this will end up sounding like a pretty negative entry, since it will mostly be a list of reasons why someone should not bother to contact me. Maybe, I'll think of a more positive way to put it, later, and come back and fix it. Meantime, sadly, the first and foremost category of people who shouldn't contact me won't even read this.
So... With no further delay...
You should probably not contact me, if...
** You don't know the difference between being a submissive / slave and being a sexually submissive or "bottom". If you simply dont know which you are, yet, that's quite one thing... Nothing wrong with that. If you're insistantly -sure- which you are, and you're wrong. Well, that's another. If the only submissive thing about you is that you like to be spanked and bossed around during sex... You're not a submissive. You're a bottom.
Similarly, if you don't know the difference between a Dominant and a ill-bred, poorly mannered, emotionally under-developed sociopathic bully.
Or, if you prefer the latter in either case.
(Semantics, of course, is the demon here... It's altogether possible that there is someone out there who thinks exactly the same thing when they say "Top" as I do when I say "Natural Dominant". If you think that's the case, then telk to me, we'll work it out.)
** If you're primarily looking for cyber, phone sex, masturbation fuel, or other silly online games.
I'm not saying nothing like that has ever or will ever again happen with me, but it surely not something that's going to happen any time early on in a relationship. Why? 'Cause in order for "online domination" to be anything other than a silly masturbatory game, the people involved have to know one another very well indeed...
Besides... If I say it won't happen for a long time, people who have no interest outside that might leave me the hell alone.
** If you feel that sex is the most important part of D/s. It's not. That's kink. Nothing wrong with that, but it's not D/s... It's just a sex game.
Likewise, if you think Bondage, Flogging, Sadism, Masochism, or one-handed chat sessions are the most important part of all this.
** If you have no interest in, or opinions about things like politics, religion, science, economics, history, law, sexuality, psychology, etc...
If you're going to hold my interest, you're going to have to do it with your mind first... Your body second, if that.
No, of course, you don't have to be expert in all, or even any of these things... But you should at least have some interest.
** If you consider yourself "deeply religious".
I can usually tolerate witches quite well... And, if you're serious about buddhism, then you'll know it's not a religion... But otherwise...
Well, in short, if you're accustomed to taking your orders from an imaginary man in the sky who hates you for being gay, then don't talk to me.
** If you don't think it's possible for a wholly owned slave to also be a best friend, lover, confidant, advisor, loyal supporter, and life partner... If you think it to be mutually exclusive for someone to be all these things, and also be property...
I'm sure there's more, but I need to go for now... So I'll come back and edit this later. |
| |
| |
|
|
While I very much like the idea of the new "interests" categories, I'm not sure I like the way they display. Having them there is probably a big plus, but having them all display at once, unsorted, and running all the way down the page has some drawbacks.
Also the interest level categories... I'm not sure "tolerates it" is quite correct for the interest level just below "likes it". Toleration speaks more to a situation where one makes allowances for something they dislike than something that's kind of an "I could take it or leave it" level of interest.
I think it should be: Live for it, Love it, Like it, Could take it or leave it, Willing to try it. Interests rated on my sheet should be read that way, rather than "Tolerate it" and "Curious".
In many cases, I've decided not to list expertise levels at all. I have a lot of experience at camping, for instance, and I could probably camp circles around most people, were it a competitive event... Still, "expert camper" sounds like some kind of merit badge.
There are also a lot of areas where my expertise level is probably decidedly "above average"... But if the only other category is "expert", I'll stick with "average". I think an "expert" in a subject should be able to get paid for work in that field, write books about it, teach college level classes in it, and possibly have natives sing folk songs in the mountains about said expert's skills and capabilities. There are a lot of things I'm pretty darned good at, but relatively few I'm that good at.
|
| |
| |
|
|
Two things you should know and keep in mind before you email... (or, more accurately, message)
First, while I do endeavor to answer every msg I get here, I'm pretty busy just now.
Feel free to send mail, but I won't reply until I feel I have time to write an appropriate response. If the level of response I feel is appropriate is something like "Ok. Tell me more." you might get it pretty quickly. If it's more detailed, it could take a few days after I first read your msg.
Second, I may or may not be actively looking for any subs/slaves at the point you msg. In either case, I don't mind talking, answering questions, offering advice, or getting to know people... Just don't get upset when I don't start the second conversation with "Ok, pack your bags and get here." |
| |
| |
|
|
My driving reason for being here is that I am a naturally polyaffectionate Dominant.
I have not listed any particular "interests". As a rule, I don't really have much in the way of sex-specific kinks... A fact which certainly should not be taken to mean that my subjects don't enjoy the attention they need or deserve in those areas.
I'm not a Dominant because I like to whip people anymore than I'm a horsewoman because I like to crop horses... Which I don't.
I am, however, very good at flogging, as well as being very good at cropping horses, when needed.
Keeping a submissive or a slave is generally going to require certain amount of care to be taken, and it's different in each case. I would not be willing to keep slaves or subs if I were not willing to take those actions.
Some dominants have very specific needs, wishes, or kinks... It just turns out I don't. I'm not specifically a spanker, or a flogger, a cutter, a bondage artist, a fister, a scolder, a verbally abusive person, or whatever. I'm a Dominant... A calling which might entail any or all of those actions, but should be defined by none of them. My passion for precision and excellence makes me very good at these things, but it's generally something I do for the sake of the submissive, rather than for my own sake. What I do for my sake is keeping submissives and/or slaves.
|
| |
| |
|
|
Someone recently asked if my name, Ms (or Mistress) Honor meant I was "into Norse mythology". I had to ask what the connection was, and he pointed out that the virtue of Honor was very important to the ancient Nordic people. Fair enough.
Honor, as a virtue or personal quality, has been of core importance in many cultures, over many periods in history... As such, however, it has been defined a little differently by each.
When the Norse spoke of Honor, they primarily spoke of the need to be true to one's self and one's personal values, without fail. Courage in battle, and a kind of stark truthfulness to ones family & trusted friends was often a key componant to this version of Honor.
To the Japanese, personal and Honor - in terms of reputation and expectation - is still of paramount importance. In many Arabic cultures, honor is highly regarded, as well.
Sometimes, when one says Honor, they mean only sexual purity or fidelity... As if a woman who has enjoyed sex, or had sex forced upon her has literally no further value.
To medieval knights in England, France, and other European kingdoms, a form of honor was at the core of thier beliefs as well.
While I deeply value some of these philosophies and just as deeply shun others, in my case, "Honor" is my first name... The one on my driver's license. It's fairly common in English cultures to name little girls after cardinal and chief virtues... Originally this was hoped to instil a sense of that virtue in the child. It's not difficult to think of examples... Love, Hope, Faith, Charity, Chastity.
While I -do- hold my honor in high value and will defend it and work to keep it pure, it is no more or less significant than Jennifer Love Hewitt saying she values Love, or Chastity Bono trying to remin... Urm. Well, maybe not that last one so much. ;-)
|
| |
| |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
