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I discovered this lifestyle 15 years ago. I have learned alot about myself and the reasons this lifestyle appeals to me over the years. My belief is that people are always growing and changing...and different people bring out different components of our personality.
I have lived as a Domme, Switch, and sub. Although I enjoyed the experiences, and believe they helped me better understand this world, I am truly a sub at heart. I have a need for the deep psychological aspects of this world, along with a variety of sexual kink. I would not classify myself as 'hard core'...I function best in a subtle 24/7 relationship.
I'm a girly-girl, and have struggled for many years trying to find a strong and Daddy-like Dom to lean on during those rough roads in life...one who could keep my brattiness at bay and allow me the opportunity to be His and only His. I am not willing to compromise on my need for a deep psychological connection.
I am trustworthy, loyal, and eager to please. I believe that trust and respect are the two biggest components to making this a successful lifestyle in the 'real world'.
I am not interested in newbies, I need a Dom who has already faced his demons and is ready for the girl of his dreams.
I am also not interested in Switches, there is no part of me that wants or needs to be in charge. I don't mind being handed the reins and told to "Please me how you wish" but I would never be able to spank or discipline a man one day and submit completely to him the next day. I can be bratty, and enjoy an occassional power struggle, but I NEED a man who is strong enough (both physically and mentally) to WIN any and all power struggles.
Friends are always a welcome addition, and I take great pride in sharing my struggles and journey into the lifestyle with new subs. I have faced my demons, and have a solid understanding of what 'works' for me. This lifestyle is a core part of me and I need to live it everyday. |
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Stepping into a new relationship that somehow feels familiar....comfortable...and soo passionate all at the same time.
I have ended my search in hopes that this is the real deal... |
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I remain single...unattached...unowned...and uncollared...as empty as those words sound, I am feeling very satisfied with my life at the moment. I am doing well in my new career, dating casually, and I have settled with the fact I may remain single for a long time before finding the one man that completes me.
I haven't given up...quite the opposite...I'm tired of trying too hard to make 'something' out of the many relationships of my past. |
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Disappointed once again, but not broken...
It always amazes me how some believe this lifestyle to be 'no big deal'. To me, it is a very 'big deal', and I feel for those that haven't experienced the depth in a true Ds relationship. Once visited into the abyss, I'm not sure how a Dom could utter the words, "I've been too busy to talk with you".
If it seems my life is a yo-yo to the outside world, it seems even moreso to myself. I continue to struggle in finding the one that truly completes me, and who will truly understand my depth.
As I've stated a million times, I am unwilling to compromise on my need to live this lifestyle 24/7. I am needy, emotional, and a bit sassy at times...but to the right man, I will be everything he needs...and more.
I am no ordinary girl. |
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The lemonade is made...new job starts next week and opens up an entire new set of possibilities.
I've met a man...a real man who I believe may hold the key to my heart and soul.
My head is spinning and my heart racing as I have eagerly agreed to discontinue my search. My focus now is on building a solid foundation for what I hope to be a lifetime of happiness. |
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Life has suddenly handed me a barrel of lemons, and I am in the process of making lemonade. ;o)
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I am in a very peaceful time of my life where I am opening myself up to possibilities, but I am not in any big hurry to find anything.
I am no ordinary girl... |
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I delayed writing this entry because I was in shock. I don't understand how people can 'pretend' to be in a relationship and then turn and run without warning.
I received an email ending my relationship weeks ago...he didn't appreciate all that I had to offer.
So, I am single again, but not giving up. I'm confident there's a man out there who can be strong, loyal, and honest...one who can appreciate what I have to offer. |
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I am happily dating a wonderful guy who is comfortably handling my intensity. I find it intriguing how people just happen into your life at the oddest moments...without warning.
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I'm intense.
Very intense.
I've always struggled with trying to rein in my intensity and dish it out only in small amounts that others can handle.
I'm tired of reining.
I need to find someone with the same intensity, someone who understands that intense emotions don't always lead to love and marriage. |
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