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I will not take on any submissive males nor am I interested in submitting to a dom/me. Please do not write me propositioning me as my sub if you have a Y chromosome or to dominate me in any way.
I am however interested in talking to other, male or females, as acquaintances or friends whether Dom/me, switch, or submissive.
I have been a dominant for most of my adult life. I am a strong believer that most good dom/mes have been on the other side of the coin at one time or another. I myself was in a similar relationship for a short time. There are few who can truly understand the submissive mentality fully without having experienced it themselves and I have met many Dom/me who agree.
I have been bisexual since my early teens. Growing up in a small town, that part of my personality was not explored fully until I was an adult however. I have had many female lovers, several girlfriends but, alas, none I have found can be called a balance to the fire that rages within my soul. I am truly bisexual, the female form is magnificent. If man was creations rough draft, woman was its masterpiece. Following the lines of a woman’s body is truly an exquisite use of one’s time, exploring every dip, curve, and angle.
I have been involved in polygamous relationships in the past. I know what works and I know what doesn't. A poly relationship isn't what I'm seeking and is not an absolute necessity but I am not going to run away from a good thing.
Finally, please don't write me starting out with "Mistress I live to please you" or any such other blathering non-sense. If we haven't talked I don't know you from Eve. I am not your mistress and please do not address me as such unless you are MY submissive. Approach me with respect and expect to receive it in return.
PLEASE VIEW MY JOURNAL ENTRIES FOR FURTHER INFORMATION**WARNING: Any institutions or individuals using this site or any of its associated sites for studies or projects - You DO NOT have permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current and future. If you have or do, it will be considered a violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications. |
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Why Do Submissives/Slaves Ignore Good Dominants
Disclosure: Nothing said here in is documentable, it is personal opinion and should be taken as such.
This is a inquiry for Submissives/Slaves/Bottoms without Dominants.
I am a dominant, have been for many years. I'm well versed in the lifestyle and have a level head on my
shoulders. I have posted several journal entries on different topics
in the lifestyle on my profile.. I don't
expect submissives to bend to my will simply because they play on a
different side of the coin than me, more to the point I find it
frustrating to have a submissive contact me and already be in subspace.
I do not have a submissive and have been
openly seeking friends, both dominant and submissive, as well as a
submissive of our my own should I find someone who's life matches with mine. When contacting potential submissives I try to always do so from
this profile so as not mislead anyone. I read profiles, I read
interests, I read journals when they are posted. Before I message
someone I do my research. I have an idea if we have similiar
interests, if I can step into a dominant role with them and fulfill
their needs. I have seen submissive after submissive complain about
being contacted by rude or inappropriate dominants who contact them
expecting their submission immediately with messages like "are you
ready to get on your knees and take it all you cumm guzzling whore?" or
"How would u like to get slapped around, spat upon, humiliated verbally
& physically, used like the secret fuck meat u know u are?"
I, on the other hand, approach them with
specifics of how we would match, try to find out more about their
needs, and create the important emotional bond needed in a long term
BDSM relationship and yet, I hear nothing from most of the submissives I've contacted. Not even an "I don't think we're a good match." Could
someone PLEASE explain this to us?!
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Just because I'm Female Doesn't Mean I'll Submit to You Because You SAY Your A Dominant Male (Having Submissives Doesn't Prove that Either)
I am SICK and TIRED of males thinking that because I am female and they say they are dominant males that I will submit to them. Those who have the idea that every female is submissive to men no matter what her orientation is, you should get your heads on straight. If I submitted to men and dominated women I would be a SWITCH.
That doesn't mean that there aren't women on this site that are switches who are listed as dominant women, but those women are looking specifically for other women, they probably aren't seeking a dominant male and therefore want the dominant men to leave them alone. If you don't, I'd recommend that you switch your orientation to SWITCH or create two profiles you'll probably have more luck.
I understand that a lot of the confusion comes from all the different definitions of the orientations within the BDSM lifestyle. To clarify for the remainder of this entry:
Dominant: Someone who does not submit to any gender.
Switch: Someone who submits sometimes but is dominant others. This could mean that they submit and dominant with the same partner OR that they submit to men (or women) but dominant to the other gender.
Submissive: Someone who never is dominant.
So here's the deal, I'm dominant guys. PERIOD. I don't submit to anyone at any time for any reason. Will I help a dominant who is expanding his submissives training, yes. Does that mean he has power over me? About as much as you have power over your buddy who's helping you move.
I would be volunteering to help a dominant expand their submissives training. I would work within their limits out of respect not power. You don't get to tell me what to do or how to do it. That's not to say I would help ANY dominant that asked me. I would have to know the other dominant well. We would have to trust each other and the other persons judgment. We would have to have SEVERAL long conversations on the topic of limits before hand but you would have to trust me to help you expand your submissives training. Obviously doing the same thing you've already been doing isn't going to do that so I'm going to have to do it a little different for them to expand.
What it comes down to guys is that if you're a dominant and want to talk, I'm open to being friends but don't look to hold any power over me. I'd sooner look at you, shake my head and laugh. Ask Rowyn, he'll confirm.
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Topics to come:
Responsibilities of a Dominants
How does one train to be a dominant?
What's important in a D/s relationship?
Contracts |
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Collaring
Lets start with a standard disclosure. Anything said here is my personal opinion and is not documentable nor should be stated as fact.
This can be a bit of a touchy subject so come into this with an open mind. First, collaring is very serious for me. I feel there are three levels of Collaring; Collar of Protection, Collar of Consideration, Collared.
A collar of protection does not have to involve play at all. This could be a title given to a submissive who is attending an event and would prefer to do so under the protection of a respected Dom. This could also include in scene play that does or does not include sexual contact. This title is one used when a mental and/or physical relationship is pursued but not an emotional relationship.
A collar of consideration is given when an emotional relationship is being pursued between a Dominant and their submissive. This is the "dating" phase.
Someone who is collared is married to me. This is an extremely committed relationship where both parties have committed to working to make this relationship a lifelong paring. I feel that someone who is collared is as devoted as in a marriage. It takes a lot of commitment to work through the hard times in a relationship when you don't have that legal binding marriage does. You have to be truly committed to making this work to stick out the hardship of only your own free will to make that relationship work. |
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Personal Interests
Let’s start with a standard disclosure. Anything said here is my personal opinion and is not documentable nor should be stated as fact.
I thought it would be good to describe what I am interested in and what I participate in. These interests should be kept in mind while reading these entries.
I do not cyber. I do not webcam. I do not participate in online dominance.
I do meet submissives online; I have conversations with them to get to know them, their wants, and their personalities. I want a relationship with my submissive beyond just scene play and I want that to be in real life. |
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WHEN SHOULD YOU EXPECT TO BE CALLED MASTER/MISTRESS?
Lets start with a standard disclosure. Anything said here is my personal opinion and is not documentable nor should be stated as fact.
Unless you're talking about your own submissive, specifically someone who has vocally stated they are your submissive/slave, then you shouldn't ever exect anyone to call you master. Even prospective submissives shouldn't be expected to refer to you in such terms. It's a term of respect and just because you happen to be a dominant doesn't mean everyone has to respect you.
I feel this is especially true in online communities or in some groups. There are dominants, and this by no means refers to everyone, who join a group of people, and immediately expect to be differed to due to their chosen orientation. Why should anyone differ to you because you say you're a dominant? If you're in a group setting where there are officers, officients, or rules about this, I can understand.
Something else that drives me crazy are people who think someone else's submissive should call them master. Um, no. The suggestion that MY submissive should be calling them master is obserd. Last time I checked submission and servitude were a choice by the submissive, so it's still their choice who they show respect to by using this title firstly. Secondly, they are MY submissive. Why would I want my submissive calling you master? I'm sure you get my point.
Finally, and this one doesn't just drive me crazy, it crosses the line with me, male dominants who think females, whether dominant or submissive, will submit to them because they are a dominant. I don't know how many emails I've received from male dominants (For those of you who have contacted me who are male dominants but not for this reason I do not include you in this category) who think that just because I don't have the Y choromosome that I'm pre-dispositioned to submit to all males. I am a dominant! I deserve the same amount of respect they would give their male piers.
What it comes down to is that, unless someone has declared or is contracted as your submissive or you are a in a group who requires you to use specific titles you don't have the right to expect anyone to use the title. If an individual personally chooses to use the title is still their choice.
I personally prefer that those who are not my submissives don't use the title until we have a verbal or contracted agreement. |
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POLYGAMOUS RELATIONSHIPS
Lets start with a standard disclosure. Anything said here is my personal opinion and is not documentable nor should be stated as fact.
Poly relationship aren't socially accepted today however those within the more risque lifestyles will come across these relationships more an more.
The first thing to keep in mind is that a poly relationship doesn't have to be sexual between all parties in the relationship. For example, a Domme might have two submissive men in her life and the two men might be very close as friends, best friends, or even closer. I hesitate to say husbands as that usually indicates a sexual relationship and it doesn't have to be and brotherly is false as well but having an exceedingly intimate emotional, mental and physical reltionship (hugs for example but not sexual). In some cases, drawing on one and other for support. Needless to say, relationship with others can become exeedingly intimate without crossing into the sexual realm.
Poly relationship have one key factor, all parties have to have their needs met emotionally, mentally, and physically. This is not to say that everything has to be equal. You get an hour, you get an hour, then we'll spend two hours together and alternate bed partners every other night usually doesn't work. You need to really assess your needs and determine who can fulfill those needs. One person is unlikely to be able to fulfill the needs for all three individuals. The responsibility should be spread between all members of the relationship. You should access who in the relationship can fulfill those needs. Who can you confide in, who can you spend time enjoying your hobbies with, etc.
Once you have acessed those needs you should consider if everyones needs can be met in the relationship. Some people require more time and attention from their partner than others. This is really important because if your needs are not met then there could be concerns with jealousy and dissatisfaction. |
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