MasterKuntroller

Elvis is back. Sort of. Maybe. 

Not really expecting anything from this site at this point. Between the fakes, flakes, scammers and flim-flammers, it's been pretty much a massive waste of time. But you never know...

Perhaps the right extremely kinky and submissive fem will stumble on this profile and realize what she might-could have - and take the initiative. 

In the meantime, I'm playing with an old slave and some new kinky and sleazy friends.

Hey, that reminds me of an old cable access show - Colin's Sleazy Friends - that used to run in L.A. back in the day (mid to late 90's). I used to watch it sometimes from my office in Hollyweird. It was the Oprah of porn industry gab shows.

First time I ever saw a full beaver shot on TV! And it wasn't too long after that that good ol' Colin got the boot. But I don't mind telling you, it was freakin' awesome. 

Ah yes. Memory lane. I digress...

Elvis has left the website... 

Been meaning to mention... I've been getting some nice compliments from fems recently. Sadly, either not local or not of interest to me as a Dom, but I think that's cool none-the-less. So, I suppose I should ratchet down my utter contempt for this site a few notches. Sorry, CM! 

It doesn't mean I'm actively looking here. I'm not. Hear that ladies? If you like what you see, you'd better take the initiative and make the first move. Otherwise, it's not going to happen. 

I have gotten awfully aggravated (see prior rants) by all the lames and fakes herein – but it's nice to know that there are some genuine, sincere people here. 

Strangely, I keep getting checked out by men of all sorts. Some are straight Doms (scoping out the competition?), but the vast majority are gay, and for the most part gay submissives. Do I look particularly non-hetero or something? 

Unlike some of my buds, I've never been propositioned by a man before (a dubious honor, all report), but I get a lot of gay men checking out my profile and even occasionally Favoriting/Admiring me. Thanks guys. I'm flattered. Truly. It just doesn't float the ol' boat. 

I do remember the one time on a lunch break in Hollyweird that I tried to work out at a Bally's in "boy's town" (West Hollywood). This was about 15 years ago no, I guess. It seemed like a great idea at the time, but turned out to be a big mistake. For the first time in my life, I got a taste of what a single woman must feel like entering a bar to have dozens of sets of hungry eyes checking her out. I'm no homophobe, but I do admit it was a very strange feeling to have so many guys blatantly trying to make eye contact and even flirt! 

Needless to say, it was NOT a good workout. Very distracting and slightly unsettling. Taking a shower was even weirder, and I didn't go back! 

:-o

I will say this, though, about the "gay scene." From what my bi/gay friends tell me (when you work in show business, you're going to have them) – and based on what I've observed over the years – it is a lot easier to be gay when it comes to getting laid. 

Gay guys can just cut right to the dirty business and worry about the niceties of "the relationship" – if at all – later. 

Ladies (yes, even sluts) want some semblance of "a relationship" (even if it is Dom/sub) first. 

Sigh. 

THE MYTH OF THE "NO LIMITS" SLAVE

Over the years, on and off on this site and others, I've run across countless "women" (there's always a doubt whether you're actually dealing with fems at all, much less submissive ones, in the beginning) who claim to be "no limits" slaves but really aren't. 

And when you catch them out and call them out on the limits they want to impose on a supposed "no limits" relationship, I'm never sure whether to laugh, cry or go on a killing spree. Seriously, what is so hard to understand here? 

Stipulating to practicality and realism, we all know that "no limits" does actually have a few.* No slave wants to be maimed or killed. Even the most severe sadist understands that if he breaks or kills his pet, the fun is over for all concerned (and possibly accompanied by an all-expense-paid, extended stay at the Greybar Hotel). 

But here's what cracks me up...

"I'm a no limits slave, but I don't do (insert kink(s)) here." 

Excuse me, dumbshit, but, you just negated your very claim to being one. 

Just today I chatted with a fem who was a self-proclaimed "no limits" slave who, after just a few minutes of discussion, proved to me she was not. And in typical manner, was completely clueless and oblivious to the double-mind she was living under. 

"Yes, I will do that and that and that and that... but oh! I won't do that!" 

Gawd, am I the only one who is aggravated as shit by this? 

When I encounter such a one (which is nearly all of them), I actually enjoy tweaking their noses – cybernetically speaking – by playing the fetish naming game.

One I like to use, since it's a commonly encountered hard limit in the scene, is bestiality. 

Ask the typical "no limits slave" if she's open to it and watch her run for the proverbial (if not literal) door. 

Needles, scat play and breeding are other such fetishes one can use to test the claims of a "no limits" claimant. And there are others. 

(NOTE: I'm not saying I'm into these or not. I simply use such questions as an amusing mechanic for determining whether a fem is really who and what she claims to be.) 

Through abreaction, the true nature of a woman's "slavehood" (which isn't) becomes obvious to me, if not to her. 

So let's be clear ladies, gentleman and otherwise... if you have things you won't do — no matter whether your Master/Dom/Domme/Owner, etc. likes them and wants to to do them or not — you ARE NOT A "NO LIMITS" SLAVE!!! 

Get it? 

You may be a very open-minded sub. Perhaps even an extremely open-minded one. But if there is something that squicks you, upsets you or terrifies you to the point where you would absolutely refuse to do it and break the relationship off over it and/or walk out the door... then you are a submissive. Maybe even a slave-like submissive. Maybe even a slave by some less-than-precise definitions. But again, you're NOT a "NO LIMITS SLAVE." Period. End of story. 

Get over yourself, use more precise language and improve everybody's day by not making claims you can't back up. Walk the talk, in other words!

*I suppose there are a few very extreme slaves who might even be OK with such hyper-extreme and even ultimate levels of masochism/devotion, but in such cases I would suspect some degree of mental illness to be at play (and maybe from all parties concerned). That being said, for 99.9% of the "slaves" out there, I think it largely goes unsaid, but is understood by all, that nobody is talking about severe or permanent injuries or death. Can we all agree on this? 

At the risk of sounding like a very bitter, grumpy old man -- but so be it -- let me say for (I hope) the last time that this Gawd-awful abortion of a "dating site" is, at best, nothing but a spectacular assemblage of... 

KLUELESS, OBTUSE, HALF-WIT, BRAIN-DEAD, THOROUGHLY VACUOUS and UTTERLY SELF-ABSORBED* KUNTS!!!

Just like the real world, only more condensed (emphasis on dense) and narcissistic for all the slathering, hapless "look-at-my-penis, isn't-it-so-great?" idiot horndogs making these mostly (or even vastly) worthless trollops think they're Princess-Fucking-Grace. 

NOT!

And I'm not even talking about the scammers, which a good 50% of the "women" here consist of. 

Ever the optimist, I guess it makes me a moron for thinking that any amount of time and effort here is worth it. Seriously, at this point, I think I'd rather jam red-hot needles through my scrotum (and I'm not the masochist) than put up with any more of this sweeping, pervasive, ridiculous lameness.

You really do get what you pay for.

DONE!

GOOD RIDDANCE.

Seriously, paid pussy is a far better option than this. Factor in the time wasted, and even top escorts work out to a better deal. You actually know what you're getting, and at least somebody gets off. 

I'm really beginning to think the Taliban has a point... 

* Which, in most cases, is particularly comical when you consider the "quality" of the goods. 

ATTENTION BRAIN DEAD STUPID CUNTS – NEWSFLASH!

You get out of this exactly what you put into it. 

I know that in this age of illiteracy, texting and microscopic attention spans, asking people to actually STOP and FOCUS on something is nigh-on to impossible... and that fems on this site (especially young attractive ones) get POSITIVELY BOMBARDED by the gooey, panting interogatories of remarkably stupid dolts... and that the very ones who should read and heed this note are never going to see it, nor read it...

But there are REASONS you're not getting the results you want. 

1) If your profile is not specific about what you're looking for, every lust-addled idiot on this site is going to send you a "me too!" email. Many will anyway, but if you make it VERY CLEAR what your criteria are, it will cut down on a significant amount of spam. 

And speaking for myself, if you can't be bothered to create a profile that looks like a real person created it, I can't be bothered to respond. Quite often, scammers do the exact same thing, knowing that enough frothing horndogs herein will respond even to an empty profile...

2) You are wondering why your prince doesn't come when you are having to wade through hundreds of time wasting (and soul crushing) missives from poltroons, when an hour of active searching on your own might turn up some incredible Doms who either can't get through to you, can't be bothered to try or simply don't know you exist. 

3) When someone worthy does get through to you, you cannot be bothered to even engage in a reasonable and reciprocal manner. Speaking for myself, after the first salvo, I watch very carefully what happens. If your behavior does not strongly suggest mutual interest (real women who really want to know a man behave like they do), then I move on. I'm sure others do to. I will chase to a point, but past that point a stupid cunt has disqualified herself.

After all, as the inimitable Forrest Gump said: "Stupid is as stupid does."

4) CM is a free site. As such, it attracts every imaginable species of invidious fool, reprobate, neer-do-well, idiot, moron, scammer, poser, flake, jerkoff, dirtbag and putz. 

I would say "I hope this helps," but I know full well I'm spitting in the wind.

Been away for quite a while. Better things to do...

Looking for a new slave in the new year. The world ends in 2012, so why not go out with a bang? 

Seriously, I don't buy any of that shit. The world will not end (probably) for another few billion years, when the sun is ready to go out in a blaze of glory (literally). I can't worry about that. Which is not to say humanity will be here. I'm not sure really advanced cockroaches deserve to be here. But I'm not going to worry about that, either...

In the meantime, if you're looking for real slavery or just a really mean spanking, look me up... 

Well, I've now got a new Slave-In-Training. So far, so good. We'll see how it goes...

No, we didn't find each other through this site. You shouldn't be surprised.

The subject of CM came up.

Guys, here's what she told me: "Oh. Collar Me? Gawd. I gave up on that site after about five minutes. I got BOMBARDED with emails from wanna-bes and losers. Hundreds of 'em. I just didn't have the energy to deal with it."

This might explain why YOU are having trouble finding anybody here.

As I have long suspected, the riff-raff have driven off nearly all the quality fems. What's left are, in large measure, the desperate and/or the jaded, superficial and unattainable. For this last, I think it's quite the ego boost to get scads of emails from hapless horndogs, pathetic though it may be.

And let's not forget the scammers. Of which there are FAR TOO MANY. I think it's like 50% (or more) of the "fems."

Best of luck to everyone.

I'm really NOT expecting perfection here. Heaven knows I'm far from that myself...

(Yes -- gasp! -- I know! A Dom admitting he's not perfect! What is the world coming too?!?!?)

I'm not even expecting a super-high level of literacy. Even discounting the mentally (not to mention morally) deficient spammers/scammers/flim-flammers, who often as not can't write a single, complete, coherent sentence.

(Sort of a dead giveaway, like not knowing basic geography (e.g. Boston, California), being a blond bombshell from Ghana or using oft-rehashed pics of porn models.)

But is it really too much to ask that one checks his or her spelling? I mean, I've literally seen profiles where EVERY OTHER WORD was misspelled. Often badly. And quite often common words, too.

Apparently it is too much to ask.

For Chris-sakes, people... you can load a plug-in that will check your spelling IN YOUR BROWSER for you! If you're not a good speller, this solves the problem -- completely effortlessly.

But this goes, in a strange sort of way, to an even bigger point.

If you can't even take five minutes to make sure you don't come across as a blithering idiot, what does that say about you? Further, what does that say about the attention to detail necessary to be a good Master/Slave/Dom/Sub, etc. in this realm?

Is is just me, or is CollarMe the low-IQ, low-rent district (or maybe even veritable sewer) of the BDSM/kink scene?

(No offense to scat fans intended.)

So far, I've been STUNNED at the number of flakes and phonies on this site. Clearly, there are a lot of scammers, but it seems to me there are a lot of very insincere or just extremely flakey fems here. too. Or maybe they're all one and the same?

Or maybe, given that it's a free site, even the genuine fems are so overwhelmed with horndogs and morons that they can't keep up. I'm certainly noticing (so it seems) very short attention spans...

Oh! New, bright shiny object! What was I doing!?!?!?

Maybe I'm not aggressive enough in chasing fems here, but I have the feeling most are not real and/or receptive for some reason -- perhaps the ones cited above. I mean, real women who are really interested respond with more than three words. Don't they? I've been away from "the dating scene" for a while, but things haven't changed that much have they?

Anyway, I tweaked my profile to see if that makes any difference. Time will tell, I suppose...

One thing about the paid sites is that they seem to cut out 95% of the riff-raff, meaning the ladies aren't hammered with hundreds of penis photos, and the guys have a better chance of being seen and getting through to real fems. Most dating sites have gone to a paid model -- in part for this reason. It reduces their server loads and improves user satisfaction enormously (not to mention makes them money).

I don't know what CM can do about this problem (or wants to), given that it's a free site. I personally think some kind of interactive reputation management system might help. Real people would be quickly separated from flakes and scammers over time. Tracking scammer IPs would be a good first step, since typically those are people who are lazy.

The above are relatively easy-to-implement steps these days. Any good programmer could take freely available scripts and put such a system together quickly...

Maybe CM doesn't care. Perhaps this is just a way to drive traffic to their fetish shop. Some have said this, and maybe they're right. Who knows?

The sheer number of fakes and flakes on this site is enough to make a serious person scream and/or go elsewhere. Speaking as a guy, my conclusion to this point is that hunting here is a TOTAL WASTE OF TIME!

I'll hang around a bit longer because maybe the right fem(s) will find me. You never know...

But I'm not holding my breath.