MasterAKs

For anyone who saw my last entry, my dad is home.  He was released from the hospital today and will be taking blood thinners to prevent more clots from forming and he's on pain medication.  It will take between 2 and 4 weeks for the clots to be reabsorbed by his body, so please, keep the good thoughts, positive energy, and prayers coming.  I believe that the prayers and all are what got him home so early!

OK, for anyone who happens to read my journal entries....my dad is in the Hospital.  His right lung is full of blood clots.  Please, if you are a praying person, please send up a prayer for him.  If you don't believe in the power of prayers, then just send a good thought his way.  He is 12 days post surgery for partial spinal fusion.  He is in a lot of pain because he can barely breathe.  Thanks!

Sorry for anyone that is waiting on mail from me.  My dad had back surgery to fuse some of his vertebrae due to degenerative disk disease so I haven't been on here much.  Don't have time now, gotta go to work, but hopefully soon I'll be back on here regularly responding to mail and making journal entries.  Have a good day!

Everytime I get on this site and start viewing profiles, I'm amazed at what I see.  I'm still pretty intimidated with all this....I saw a picture tonight and showed my Master and asked him if that is what he wanted to do to me. (the pic was of an ass that was all red and welted up - we're talking one solid large red welt!)  He said yes, maybe.....I told him (yes, I know, slaves don't get to tell their masters what they want/don't want/etc without Master's permission - but since he had decided to ease me into this lifestyle - I did) I wasn't into that at all and that is off-limits.  I'm not into pain.  I much prefer to serve my Master well without punishment.  I've always been a "good" girl.  I'm the girl people loved to hate in school.....teacher's pet, brown-noser, etc.  I didn't know what the work Fuck meant until I was in 11th grade.  I had to have most dirty jokes explained to me because I just didn't get them! 

Master was injured recently so nothing is happening in the punishment/pain/serving/pleasure department until his ribs heal.  I have a feeling, though, that I'm gonna be in for it when he does heal.  I'm still trying to deal with medication adjustments (I know, I've said it before, but going from a very high dose of an anti-depressant to a lower dose of a different anti-depressant is some hardcore stuff when you have major depressive disorder.) and I keep forgetting my role as slave to my Master.  I understand my punishment will be deserved, but I'm not looking forward to it, that's for sure.  Any advice?  Feel free to message me, if you like. 

very aggravated tonight.  Trying to figure out what I want out of all this.  Am I doing it just for Master's pleasure?  Some one asked me yesterday, what I  get out of being a slave.  I've been thinking about it all day.....What do I get out of this, besides the knowledge that I made my Master happy.  Still trying to adjust to my new meds, not sure if it's me or the meds talking.  Frustrated!!!!!!!!!!

The Karate tournament I went to went well, I got some good video, and pictures, but I would have much preferred to have been by my Master's side, serving him.  https://www.collarspace.com/js/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-wink.gif" alt="Wink" border="0" />   I disappointed my Master again today.  He told me to wear benwa balls when he left me this morning.  Master told me to wear them all day, but things happened and I wasn't able to fulfill his wishes.  I explained my reasons to him for failing him and told him I understood I deserved punishment, but Master was very kind about it.....He understood when i explained to him why I couldn't keep them in all day.  He had me put them back in before we went somewhere this afternoon  and I was able to keep them in for 2 hours or so, before the same thing happened.  I realize it will take time to build up to some things, but I hate to disappoint my Master.  If I don't do a good job for him and be obedient to his every command, I'm afraid he may look for someone else as a 24/7 slave and bump me back down to his sub. 

My Master is very patient with me  I am still learning and adjusting, I am realizing (at random times) that my master is who controls me, who takes care of me, who loves me, etc.  I looked at someone's profile where she stated she wants a master that will build a whole world around her.  I don't know if she's ever served anyone before, because to me, it sounds like she wants a husband more than a Master.  I realize that this is forever, I no longer have a say in whether I want sex, fucked, or cuddling.  I can ask, but that doesn't mean I will get what I want. 

IMHO, I beleive that my Master has been very VERY lenient with me because I am still learning and was reluctant to take this step.  I very recently (like 7 days ago) told my Master that I agreed to be his slave....that I was not willing to bring someone else into this household to serve him.  I'm not always ok with my decision, but it is better than I have thought it would be.  How many Masters would allow their slaves to stop wearing a collar this early in the training just because it was causing a rash on the neck?  My master has allowed me that privelege.  Of course, I will be getting  different collars, per my Master's wishes, so that I can wear different ones to work.  The collar I was currently using (at night after the children were in bed) was a black leather 1" wide collar that has the word "slave" across it in silver and snaps closed.  I woudl gladly continue to wear it, if Master chose to have me, but he truly is an Amazing Master! 

I am in a strange mood today, I am going to a Karate tournament (my daughter is in the dojo, but not competing).  I am going to video some from our dojo and also take pictures for our Dojo.  I am leaving my Master for the day (with his permission!!) for this.  He is staying here with the children (originally scheduled for softball games, but one has been cancelled, and a strong possibility that the 2nd game will be also.  I am somewhat anxious about leaving my Master all day.  Not sleeping well and dealing with some withdrawal from my medications, but not sure if that's what it is or not. 

My Master is being very good to me.  I am trying to be a good little slave, but it's hard to balance being a wife and mother and being his 24/7 slave.  I am looking at designs for a tattoo Master wants me to get.  It will be at the back of my neck and say The Best!  He said it's because he knows I'll be the best slave, He said I'm already the best mother and best wife, best lover and best partner.  I'm happy to get whatever tattoos my Master wishes.  He is also giving me the freedom to get another tattoo that I want.  I collect Carousel Horses and he is allowing me to get one tattooed on my right outer calf.  I have roses representing our children and miscarriages on the left outer calf.  I also have a "tramp stamp" of two roses joined together with handcuffs.  I will be getting my slave registry number tattoo incorporated in with that one.  Master will figure out how to best place the numbers in the current tattoo.  I'm soo happy.  I never imagined it would be this calming to me to be someone's slave. 

When my Master was looking for another slave to bring into our household, I didn't realize what he would allow that slave to do.  I'm very grateful that Master has allowed me to become his slave, rather than him bringing another slave into the relationship.  I asked Master if he would have allowed the other slave to go down on him.  He said yes he would have....he told me the only thing off limits to that slave would have been intercourse.  Thank you, Master, for allowing me to be the only slave allowed to suck your cock and taste your seed.    https://www.collarspace.com/js/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-surprised.gif" alt="Surprised" border="0" />   https://www.collarspace.com/js/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-wink.gif" alt="Wink" border="0" />

I am a new 24/7 slave in training to my Master (and husband).  We have dabbled in the dom/sub relationship and also master/slave relationship before, but never to this degree.  It took my Master looking for a slave to add to our household for me to realize that if anyone was to be his slave it had to be me.  I just moved up to this status on Friday night.  So far, I don't regret anything!  I'm sure I won't regret anything at anytime, but I had definite doubts, I can assure you.  I believe I cried for at least an hour (or more likely two) after making the decision, because I was so overwhelmed by it all.  I really am not into pain and punishment, but I love Love LOVE to make my Master happy.  When Master is happy, then I am happy.  I don't ever want to dissapoint my Master with anything I do, but I do have trouble figuring out when to be his little slut slave.  We have 4 children and I work outside the home, so it's been difficult for me to transition from "mom" and "wife" to slave.  Any suggestions?  Thanks for reading!  Master has asked me to keep this journal and write in it every day.  I know he will be checking up on me, so I hope he is pleased.  I love you, Master!!!