Lostinrelease


	LostInnoce		lostinlox		LostInCinc

		Back		KPM		Interests

Friends:


	jbcruiser



	I crave the Dominance...the control and approval. The desire to serve and please. That being said I am no longer searching. I found that to be a frustrating waste of time. I'm happy with my life. One day someone extraordinary will come along but I've found most here are not much more than horny kinksters with whom I have very little in common. Submissive is who I am. It's not a choice. Whom I serve however is. I have had many lessons and experiences since my release which have changed me. I've learned perhaps more what I don't want but try to keep my focus on the positive and looking ahead. What I value most is honesty and respect. If you don't have respect for women, if your here to objectify, abuse and put a woman "in her place" then don't waste your time with me. It is possible to dominate a woman without being an ass. We each have our place; rolls to fill and expectations to meet. A woman's place is one of beauty underneath her Man, not a lowly, ugly place at all. Control begins in the mind, not by simply barking out orders. Imagine how awesome it would be for her to kneel before You with just a look. I am intelligent and self sufficient. I don't NEED One to make decisions for me due to my inability however I do have the need to serve and please. It is an undeniable facet of my personality. This is fun but not simply a game to me. I have grown children and now grandchildren who are very important to me. I will not compromise my relationship with them for anyone nor am I willing to relocate as they all currently live in Texas. There is much I would love to explore in sensory deprivation. I am not into extreme pain or torture. Punishment, when rarely needed, can be successful without beatings. Thank you for reading. I will respond to messages as I am able.

A recent message from an old friend has me thinking about casual play and play with those in a relationship. Two reasons the idea does not interest me.

I know how it feels to have my Dom engage in play with other women exclusive of me. I know how poor I felt. Even more, I learned how it felt to discover that he was doing so in secret. The hurt and betrayal was painful. I would never knowingly be the cause of another woman feeling that same hurt.

Casual play can be fun for the moment but when the moment is gone the loneliness is greater than the passing pleasure. I want more from a Dom than a moments pleasure. I need to give more than a moments pleasure. It's great for some but not me. I long for a connection that is much deeper and more complex.

One of the best ways to spend a rainy day. Cooking Pozole!

I'm astonished at how many here have no manners. Sponges who soak up compliments and nice comments with no response or thank you. A complement is not a proposal! I think of turkeys strutting their tail feathers like they're something more than a big bird.

Genuine: possessing the claimed or attributed character, quality, or origin; not counterfeit; authentic; real: Does anyone know the meaning of this word? The importance of it? I'm beginning to think not....

So many lessons on this journey. Some I still don't understand. How do I explain what's inside me? I have nothing but my experience and inner voice to Lead me. One may approach me and something in his manner, in his profile immediately makes me yearn to call him Sir. Another approaches me and I find his interrogation disrespectful and irritating. Yes I am an intelligent submissive but I'm also an intelligent woman. If the only conversation you seem to be able to carry on is about the size of my breasts and ass or your sexual needs I become bored very quickly. I desire, if I may, a Dom of substance and intelligence. One with whom I can enjoy a connection both in and out of the bedroom. Why does that seem so difficult?

One of my daughters was married Friday evening. Such a perfect wedding. This mother is very proud of her girls choice in a life mate. Still this morning finds me feeling such strong emotions. Wishing I had someone to cuddle and hold me... The single life is good but has it's moments of loneliness.

It's been 15 months now since my release. In many ways I'm still lost. Primarily because I am alone. That being said, I am happy. I am a fully capable woman. Capable of supporting myself and taking care of my home. I've learned no matter the heat I can mow the lawn, trim the trees, handle small repairs. My skills go beyond cooking and cleaning. Perhaps a bit more willful now than before. I hope that will not become a burden when I at last find One to whom I will finally feel the need to submit to. I'm certain the right One will quickly take control.

Lifestyle or not I'm not going to allow anyone to make me feel insignificant again. No way, I'm done with that garbage.

I've felt so defeated from my intrractions with many I've met on this site yet like a moth is drawn to the flame I keep coming back. Something in my soul cannot pull away from the hope of something real...

It's been 6 months since my release. Today the divorce is final. The death of that phase of my life. I thought the transition would be easy. Just find a new Dom (an honest respectful one this time) and move on...simple. Well here I am more confused and lost as ever. Absolutely no luck finding that "right for me" Dominant. No one has come close to touching my heart. Where is that take my breath away, there is nothing I wouldn't do for him attraction? Am I dreaming girlie fantasies? Is it me? Is it Him? Searching my soul for answers and coming up empty.

Written by an anonymous TRUE Master: As it is often important and often even necessary for one human being to have certainty and a clear understanding of the intentions, desires, motivations, and needs of another, I offer this testimony in trust and sincerity. I am a dominant man. I am just that. I am not dominant because of any superiority on my part. Not because I feel more intelligent or wiser. I am not dominant because of the strength or the mass of my body. I am not, nor would I want to be dominant with all women. Yet, to you I am Master. I am your Master only after earning your trust and I embrace your submissiveness. I have looked into your heart and mind, and clearly see your desires and passions. You have thrown away your desires and passions. You have thrown away your fears and inhibitions. You tell me of the needs of your heart and body. You have given me total access to your soul, and I accept the responsibility and honor. You are a woman. You are not weak or inferior because of it. You are a treasure to be cherished. We are not equal. I have the strength of body and mind and the instinctive need to protect, possess, defend, and provide for you. You are a woman and instinctively stronger of will and heart. Your belief in me gives me courage and direction. Your strength disperses my doubt. Your needs and desires encourage and give purpose to my efforts. We are not equal. We are halves of a whole. We complement each other and make each other complete. My desire to dominate you is instinctive. It is not to degrade you nor is it degrading to you because you are secure in being totally feminine. We each recognize and accept our worth, and our need for someone to trust and fulfill our needs. You are sure, strong, and proud in your womanhood. You do not submit as acceptance of inferiority, but from strength and passion. You expect a man to stand strong and be a man. You desire and flourish in the strength and control of a man. In return you present control of your body, unqualified trust and honesty, and the faithfulness of your heart. You submit because I have earned your trust. Because I have opened my heart and soul to you. Because I have listened to your word with my ears and heart and have learned to anticipate your needs and emotions. And because I have proven worthy in your eyes, you have given me the only true treasure of life; you have given me dominance over you. What you give is not abnormal, but pure, natural, and the rarest gift a woman can give a man. You have given me complete and unshakable assurance of your commitment to me. Your submissiveness is a magnificent gift and sacred responsibility. I accept this from you with humility and joy. I understand the rarity and purity of this gift. I recognize it is your body, mind, and soul. I dominate you only because you have allowed me to, and when I see your body kneel before me in my mind and heart, you are raised above all other women and all the treasures of the earth. Within the bounds of our relationship?it is my duty to protect you, and that you will know, that under my care; NO harm will come to you as a result of actions taken by Me..or you. That is my responsibility, to protect you..from yourself if necessary. What you give freely cannot in reality be bought.

Another of life's lessons learned. Long distance is not for me. Realistically how do you get to know and trust and please one another when your separated by half a country or more? You type and talk and think is this the one? Is this real? So maybe then you actually get to meet. Maybe it goes well, maybe it doesn't. Then what? Does one or the other pick up their life and job and move across the country? Based on what? Chat and 1 meeting? I'm sure there are a few for whom this has worked but I'm not one of them. I have reasons I'm unwilling to relocate and I'm not about to move a virtual stranger into my home. Just not my reality!

I am learning so much about myself while going through this experience of release and spending time on Collar Me. One big lesson is that it takes time to know someone before promising full time submission. Take the time to know me and for me to trust and find the level of comfort needed to give total submission

Every day I am amazed by this place. I came to question myself. Being approached by Dom after Dom desiring to use me in every and any which way they choose. Chat quickly turns sexual. Wanting meetings, wanting photos. Hello D/s world I am not a slut seeking to lay down for every Dom I can possibly find. What I seek is One unlike the others. One who will embrace and care for me. One with whom I will feel safe with in any situation knowing He has my best interest at heart. One who cherishes my gift of submission as much as I cherish Him in his Dominance. It all begins in the mind. With that control in place I truly become His willing slave unable and never wanting to deny His every desire. So i patiently wait for Him to find me. Meanwhile shaking my head at those who have no clue how to touch me. Most of whom will never even bother to read.

I am amazed at how many men on this site profess to be Doms but are just looking for piece of ass. I'm an honest person and if that's what I was looking for that's what I would state. If you leave me with that impression I will cease any communication. The head on your shoulders is more important than the one between your legs. Respect in this lifestyle is more important than in the vanilla world. If you can't give it I certainly won't.

The Olive Tree

THE OLIVE TREE

A confused sub came before a wise Master who adored her. She felt that to submit to him would mean she would open her heart to unbearable pain should he ever leave her.

She hungered for him and needed him, but was ready to walk away in panic.

The gentle Master knelt her before him and started a tale of love and devotion.

As she looked up at him his arms began to widen and open like a large tree stretches its branches to the sky.

At that moment the Master appeared rooted to the floor and his impressive size towered above her like a giant tree.

Then he began to speak...

The Olive Tree I'm here for you...now and always no matter how far time and space takes us....

Whether you walk away from me today or you stay and serve me I will not turn from you.

I am as patient as time itself; I will take not from you unless you give freely and completely of yourself but I give onto you regardless--for my love is unconditional....

Like the olive tree that can both feed you and shade you I am there

seemingly eternal to your short life on this earth.

If you need my fruit to feed your hunger I will give you all the fruit you need...

If your skin grows dry and loses its luster, the oil from my fruit will restore it and make it glisten.

When you need comfort my leaves will gently caress your face with the slightest breeze.

When you need discipline my branches will correct you when the wind blows strong.

If you just need my shade to protect you from the sun, my branches will shade and protect you.

If you need warmth at night my fallen branches will fuel the fire to keep you warm and safe; if you need a refreshing breeze my leaves will fan you and cool you.

You are my gardener. When you submit to me, you tend that which keeps me vibrant and full of life.

When you kneel under me and till the soil you give breath to my roots.

When you water me, my sap flows strong through me and raises my limping branches.

When you soil yourself collecting fertilizer with your bare hands you strengthen me, and humble me with your devotion.

Although my life will go on, life would not be the same without you. Your dedication and unconditional care for me keeps me vibrant and nurtures my very core.

The sustenance and protection I give you seems little reward for your servitude.

Still the gardener serves the tree from her heart and the tree gives to her heart all that he can!

I am planted firmly on the ground and cannot follow you if you walk? away from me.... But be assure I will survive.

One hundred years later and two of your lifetimes; I will still be there waiting for you in the same spot to offer you all that I do now.?

Stay with me and be my gardener.

You cannot get lost in me for we are complementary to each other.

I am your devotion, and you give meaning to my existence.

Apart we live life and survive; together we bloom eternally! ....

As the Master finished his last words the sub cried herself to sleep at his feet.

That night, he stood planted there like the Olive tree offering her his unconditional love and protection as she would tend to him with her devotion the next day....and everyday thereafter

lostman	Lostris	lost4u
lostorphan	loserslave	loserboy
lostmstern	LostInnoce	LostSub69