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im in an non-lifestyle relationship at this moment and wish to see where it is headed (well...no whips and chains but that man sure do know how to make vanilla fun again :P ) thank you for your intrest!
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alright, not to leave and drive yall crazy with curiousity, ive decided to try dating...the normal way for a while:P for those who no longer remember what 'normal' is it means going to bars, partys and the like...look for somone safe, unassuming...vanilla...ive just been hit too hard with dissapointment in the scene and im afraid i must sound shallow and admit that my selfconfidence cant handle it anymore...soo...there ya go^_^ thanks for reading this!
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heh, havent written in here in soo very long...o well so much has happened...first of all i must say im no longer collared and i am a free woman...and a changed one i must say, i took some 'me' time after i left my ex and tried to understand myself better...i think i was somewhat successful, i think i now know what would make me happy, which is always a good thing to know..a very good thing but then i also saw that i had very many flaws that i need to work on, but im ok with that too, well..now u kinda know whats going on with me...maybe ill get more detailed later...maybe^_^ anyway thanks for reading this!
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well now, time for another journal, yay...no not really, ive not been having a good day, been haveing really bad tummy aches and so until the maylanta starts working then im up a creek without a paddle...or how ever u say that. But with news about Master and i, well He decided that our relationship has gotten to the point that causing me pain hurts Him too, He has lost that detachment of emotions that allowed Him to be the Master i had before, and i had noticed His punishments becoming lackluster and Him becoming more loving at all times...and well He no longer wants a Master/pet relationship outside the bedroom, what He wants is a real relationship...He wants to get married eventually...im not so sure about that but, i guess i can stick it out and see...see what happens...o well either way i could be either off the market for good or i could be back in a few months looking for a Master..i dont know, im soo confused right now, i dont quite know how i would like this to go...i mean i love Him and i dont wanna leave Him but im not so sure i can see me getting married anytime soon...im still young and i do wanna go out and see the world before settling down and having a family...im soo confused...o well..ill just take it a day at a time then...until i know what i want to do. thank you for reading this^_^
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alright, when i started this i didnt actually think anyone would read this but since there are people reading this i might as well say: this is my journal and if i say something that angers/offends u then please dont read it, or better yet dont send me pms about my journal, complaining, please, i know that u might find me irritating, whiny or worse but honestly, im not that bad. ive been haveing a hard time latley and the problems ive been having with Master have just been piling up, and i LOVE my Master, for all His faults, i still love Him and want Him to be happy, and i dont belive i can do that...i hope u understand me a bit better now...i really do want to be a good pet, but i just dont belive i have found the right Master to take me under His firm hand.
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well...i just came back from a weekend with Master and let me say that it opened my eyes to a lot of things id before just either ignored or overlooked...and lets just say that the picture didnt get any clearer. i mean...we argued, we fought, the sex was great but that was bout it. He didnt take me serious about anything and not to mention just aggravated the situation much more than he needed to...and im just not sure that im in a relationship thats good for me anymore. o well, i guess ill see. ive decided to give him another chance, He has two weeks to straighten out his act, if not then...im afraid to say im gonna have to ask for my release...
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o well, i guess its been a while, lol, sorry but o well, ive been rather busy, and so i will update u as much as there is to be updated, i am happy with master yet i wonder if hes happy with me since he brought up getting another pet, eventhoug i told him at the very beginning that i didnt want to add anyone else at least not for a while, i have no prob with getting togheter with others and playing but he wants to bring somone to live with us...now im not there all the time and so im wondering if theres more or im just reading too much into it...im soo confused...im going to meditate and see if my thoughts are any clearer after that...o well there u go, my update!
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well, it has been a while since i wrote in here but i have very very good news... IM COLLARED!!! im soo happy! Master and i are still getting used to each other, but i have very very good hopes for Us/us.
soo thank u all for ur understanding and support and i wish u the best of luck in your own searches for bliss! *smooches*
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well the one i was supposed to meet LAST weekend didnt happen so im gonna meet another master in 2 weeks..sometimes i wonder why do i even bother, but then i remeber my the feeling i got when my last master would look at me with love in his eyes as he would punish me...and then i look even harder...oh well, wish me luck!!! *kisses* |
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Hello, to all that are reading this, this is lilkitten02 journal..today was a boring day, i talked to a potentiol master, i was a little sassy to see his reaction...i am nervous because im going to meet him this weekend..well wish me luck!! |
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