LaylaStorm

When I think of what would happen if I were to meet someone on here on the street. I think I would duck and run away. When I start thinking like that then I think, what am I really doing here? And it down spirals from there. Yet, I still fantasize and I still am intrigued. Then I come across a very hormonal mood and none of my common sense matters. I'm a private person, I keep a majority of my deep feelings to myself, letting most of my frivolous ones out and that is what the world sees. Ironically I am seen as a naive person, but the truth is I am not. I wish I was the naive person I portray, but its all a facade I keep up because it works. And why fix what is not broken?

I wish I could just let go and be myself, but I don't think its possible. I am much more weird and different than I let on. I like my cool appearance, but its not really me. I mean I am not perfect far from it, but I work to achieve the perfection I envision so when people approach me half-assed or whimsically I get annoyed. I need someone who can understand me and unfortunately the number of people who fit that description is still "0" and I think part of it  may be my fault for my extremely high expectations of people. Its just I have a very vivid idea of what I want and what I need, but no one really fulfills it. The problem being is I am easily swayed and I don't want to settle for someone one who is not what I am looking for and then I have to distance myself in order to not be swept into the madness of people on here. I hate doing it because I seem mean and "unsub"-like, but the thing is I don't want to be a sub to any old guy, if you are going to be my dom/master I want you to be someone I enjoy serving, which a number of guys say they're interested in doing, but then they want me to do all this stuff I am not interested in. Maybe, I am being stupid, but its the honest truth. Also, the daddy-dom stuff creeps me out. Its my preference and you can just find someone else on here with that same preference! I guess maybe thats my problem, I am pretty vague on what I want on here. I am still in the process of figuring it out and I would appreciate if people didn't bother me about my lack of direction, or whatever else. 

Ah, rant done. 

Recently I've been thinking I'd like to try some kitty play. The idea of pretending to be a cat seems to be gaining a great deal of appeal for me. I don't know if I'd actually enjoy it or not, but the idea seems fun. I don't know if I could, though. Kitty play. I could be a kitten. :3

I think I am pretty mature for my age. Its not that I can't goof around an have fun, but that my outlook is different than a great many people my age. I appreciate when people bother to spell out the word "you" and want to have more than a two word conversation. I've read on a numerous amount of profiles how they want an intelligent conversation as well as the bdsm. I cannot have an intelligent conversation if you don't converse or if half of your words aren't spelled correctly. I let things go a lot, I understand typing quickly and mistaken keys. I understand certain words are tricky to spell. I understand having a bad day, being tired and having nothing to say on any particular day. Still, if you say you want an intelligent conversation, have an intelligent conversation! I feel like people just want someone to talk about what they are interested in and thats what they deem 'intelligent' conversation. Me? I like conversation, the more you talk, the more questions you ask, the more interested you are and the smarter you are then the more interested I will be. I like intelligent conversation, I also like long lasting conversation. I also like the stage where someone is interested in me, makes it known they like me physically and mentally and talks to me enthusiastically. I like the stage to be somewhat drawn out to the point where I want to serve them and the little voices in my head telling me all my doubts and fears are gone. So, if you are like this then thats great. Talk to me!~

Also I tend to like people who are not interested in me too much, or at all. I think I like to torture myself like that. Although don't mistake that to mean I like guys who are rude to me, I don't. I like the gentleman act just fine, I just don't mind a cold shoulder sexually now and again. Aso don't take that as a definite no matter what fact, I warm up to people who are especially nice and cool. And being smart is always sexy.

So that rant went on a few different turns, but here we are at the finish line. I hope that helped you understand me a bit more, to all that bothered to read until the end.

So I noticed something amusing. A great number of people on here are big into coffee shops. I wonder if it has any correlation coffee shops and fetishes of this nature. Maybe I just happen upon a great number of profiles with coffee shops in the live for or love section. Maybe I am predestined for a coffee shop lover. I mean I love coffee shops so I approve. 

I love coffee in general and tea. Maybe thats why I am so hyper. Or why I rant. Or why I am the way I am. Or maybe not.

Finals week is coming up, so I have work to do. 

I am feeling very unmotivated as well. I need some kind of incentive to work, but I am having trouble coming up with one.