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Female Dominant, 50, NYC, New Jersey
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Female Dominant, 50, West Palm Beach, Florida
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Female Dominant, 40, Littleton, New Hampshire
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About LadyCassandra79
I started in the lifestyle in real life at age 19 as a submissive. I quickly branched out as a switch. BDSM has always been an important part of who I am and how I interact with those I care for.
On a personal level, while I am a switch, I prefer to relate to most people I meet as an equal. While I may not have personal relationships that do not in some way involve BDSM, I don't care for being pigeon-holed by those I am not intimate with. At play parties and in social situations I often put on my dominant hat. It is indeed the role I am probably the most naturally inclined to. For very select and intimate situations I still enjoy submitting.
I don't have much use for standardized BDSM. I believe that ultimately any BDSM interaction is all about mutual gratification. It doesn't matter what or how you are doing it if you and your partner are having a wonderful time together. If there is to be formality I like it to be that which is created joyfully between consenting partners rather than from outside expectations.
I am "into" too many BDSM activities to count. I like all genders and in-between genders in my partners. Most power orientation situations get me off. I do fire play, cutting, needle play, role play, play-rape, name calling, hair pulling, face slapping, CBT, geni-torture, medical scenes, fetish wear of all sorts, objectification, anal, oral, vaginal, watersports, impact, service, position training, foot worship, body worship, scratching, biting, humiliation... well you get the idea.
I make molded hand crafted leather masks that are painted and very lovely. I like leather quite a lot and have some pictures on here. If you are local and interested in anything I make let me know and I can give you a little bit of a deal off the store prices. If you want to look at my store it is one of my website links.
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So I have not edited anything here in a couple of years. I am still the same person looking for about the same things. I have good friends that I can play with. I need to get out more to play parties. I have been experimenting with recieving pain again for the first time in years, though I have little desire to be submissive. It still feels lovely. I would still like to find a freind to connect with on multiple levels. I am becoming more enamored with the idea of a long term relationship with a female these days. Most of the time when people message me here they are just so focused on a grocery list of what they want done to them that it puts me off. I just don't see how I could possibly connect with someone when we start that way. It feels like too much work. I just don't feel an urgency to search now. I feel like it is too much work. I am really happy about my job and friends. The goal now, start getting more social. Yes, BDSM play parties, munchs, and all that jazz. |
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Something I would like to make clear. Though too often no one seems to bother to read fully through all the information avalible here. I am not looking for just someone to play with. For me that is a bit rediculous to even consider. It is like a woman saying she is out looking for someone to kiss. Certianly kissing is a part of what a woman would do with someone she cares for. Does that then mean she is only looking for any old person with soft and willing lips? No, kissing instead is something you regularly enjoy with someone you care about. Play is the same thing for me. I will regularly play with someone I care about. I have to get to know them to care about them. How absurd to "look for someone to play with". What I look for is someone to connect to. My Dominance is a natural expression of that connection and my feelings for them.
I am not stating I must be in love to play. I am simply saying that I will naturaly kiss someone I am attracted to when that moment comes. I will also naturaly exert Dominance over someone who inspires my desire, affection, friendship, and respect.
I am not "looking for a play partner." I am simply looking for a partner. |
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Well I have not written an update in some time so I thought I would do so. I just met someone from here who was very nice. Things didn't work out but it really gave me hope for the future. I have a lot of close friends to spend time with and play with but meeting that person who I really want to own on multiple levels is elusive. I have gone back and forth over this last year and a half. Sometimes I have looked for a relationship and life partner. Other times I have just wanted a toy to play with. Many times I have wanted a friend to spend time with. The greatest challenge is finding a man who can exist both as my submissive and a realistic human being. I can't exist in a scene fantasy. My personality is as multi-dimensional as I would expect a submissive's to be. It comes down to the need to connect on more levels than just BDSM.
So I am really actively looking again. Wanting to get out more to D/s events. Wanting to talk to more people here. Pretty optimistic about at least meeting someone to spend time with.
As a side note two people who I currently spend most of that time with (and play with) are moving out of state ( how dare they?) My switch male friend and my TS room-mate and best friend. So in about 6 months I think Cass is going to be a very lonely female unless she makes new freinds!
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If you choose to communicate with me understand it may not be what you "expect" from a female Dominant. I am firm, strong, willful, and I know what I want. You may also find me more human and compassionate that your average internet Domme. The difference is knowing from real life knowledge what does and does not contribute to a lasting relationship with gratifying play. Do not feel the need to approach me on your belly at this point. I will be the one who chooses whether or not you will submit to me. Right now I simply wish to speak to you and get to know you. Please don't start off calling me Ma`am or any other generic term of respect. If the time for honorifics comes for us, I will teach you then how I wish you to address me. A BDSM relationship may be one in which I help you explore very deep fantasies. It may also be one in which I push you to fulfil my own fantasies. It is *not* however a fantasy. BDSM is a consensual and mutually gratifying relationship between two people. Nothing more. Nothing less. |
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I have this non-traditional image of a male submissive. Yes I will beat him, humiliate him all that good stuff. We will have good scenes. But he won't be feminine or passive at all. My perfect submissive is a male human being that?s all. I have this fantasy that we would walk into the bedroom and he would get a very naughty look on his face ... and shove me into the bed. I would laugh and pull him down on top of me and then roll him underneath me. I would punish him for his playfulness by holding his throat and biting his nipples and I would giggle while he moans. I would be straddling him and rubbing myself against his very hard ... well you know ... though our clothing. That sort of playful irreverence is what I enjoy. I want a man who will pull me to him for a kiss. I *am* the Dominant. I can always choose to encourage or redirect such attention. This wouldn't be someone I have to fight with for Dominance either. Because, knowing his buttons I would always know how to knock him into his place when that is where I wanted him. Beyond the bdsm we would be friends, lovers, and companions just sharing ourselves with each other. We would just happen to have a very healthy and kinky sex life together.
I have known a couple men who fit this bill. One wasn't really a submissive but he was a good friend and play partner. Another was the best submissive I have ever had. He, however, was anything but passive in nature. When I conquered him it was bliss.
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It is very hard (apparently) to find a submissive male who is interested in getting to know his Dominant on a human level. Most of them, well all of them thus far who have messaged me who are local, have been interested in getting "done". Endless questions about sexual compatiblity ... and none about the person. How annoying. I fully believe that when I find my partner I will rock his world on a regular basis in a kinky play sense. But my oh my ... why do so many people look for that before the ability to connect? |
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