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Another update
it seems as if i am going backwards i feel that the first profile i put under this name was the most accurate so back we go, over the years.
i do not like the phrase BBW even though that is what i am, not all large people, male or female are beautiful, and not all are ugly, and the same goes for the opposite. beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so all you lovers of flesh come and chat. but beware this is an inteligent cheeky and sarcastic slave, that loves to banter. |
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I have today received bad news from a sister sub in london, i am not going to mention any names, but her Master, a very special man, a mentor to many, has in the last week lost his mother, it is not my place to name them, but they know who they are, and how special they are to me. i ask you all for your prayers for them, they shall be going through a hard time. |
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lots has happened to me over the years, left me with experience and yes the horrific word of baggage, i do not think any of us can go through this life learning and experiencing without baggage, but the lesson to learn is who you deal with it. Good luck our chosen life is a traumatic and painfull one, but oh when its good by God its fantastic and it is worth living the bad for the good. the best of luck to you all. it has taken me a while to update and correct this profile and journal after the recent pain, put i'm getting there. |
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OK FOLKS YOU HAVE ALL READ THE PROFILE, HOW I WISH I COULD EXPLAIN HOW HAPPPY I AM, I HAVE BEEN GIVEN THE NAME OF FAREEDAJD, AND ANSWER TO THAT ONLY.
PLEASE IF WE ALREADY CHAT I HAVE ASKED AND IT IS ALLOWED, HE IS NOT UNREASONABLE. hE WILL NOT BE READING ALL THE MAIL, HE SAYS HE TRUSTS ME, BUT IF ANYTHING IS OUT OF PLACE, THEN HE ALSO TRUSTS ME TO LET HIM KNOW. aT LAST THIS GIRL IS CARED FOR. LONG LET IT LIVE.
I WISH ALL THOSE THAT SEEK THE SAME GOOD LUCK, I WAS NOT LOOKING AND IT FOUND ME!!!
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will all old friends and playmates please contact me i am free! [in more ways tthen one]
although this is a traumatic situation to be in, it is not full of the sorrow of the loss of Master that i have experienced in the past, i think that tells me it is the right thing for me. 4 years of 24/7 gone down the drain.
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Hi there to you all, well this time i have a valid reason for not writing for so long the main one beeing no internet connection lol, over the last year or so we have been through a very hard time with home etc, but now settled in a lovely flat in Gateshead NE England, and after trausting the wrong people we have found what are our true friends are, still with Master after such a long time, health has shown our hard time but not beaten us, if any old friends or new wish to chat again please contact me and i will be back asap.
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not normally a moaning misery but seems as if this site can bring out the worst in anyone, why oh why do people have to write dark on dark,. do you think it will frighten us more or what. This lifestyle is not all down a dark tunnel, our eyes are not always aclimatised to the darkness. please don't do it. But now that i have had my rant i would like to say thanks to all those that have recently chatted it has been fun with the banter, And it has been much appreciated. keep it up please until i go of line again but will be back asap |
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I thought that i would never name and shame on this site, no not because i had not been messed around but because it was not my way. But my limits have been reached and i am reacting, with the firm permision of Master, beware of someone from county Durham, Soundspanking claims to be a gentleman, he seems to be, he is great to chat to, he seems like the person we would all wish to be involved with, at least for an occasional play, forget it, the first time he did not turn up he seemed to have a good excuse, so i gave him another chance, the first time he claimed to be coming as the cp giving gentleman his profile claimed he was, Master permitted this on this one and only time. So i with humour told him what i would do to him if my switch nature was allowed. To cut a long story shorter [lol] he was to come and face myself and a young Domme trainee, for letting me down, only the night before he was still talking about coming, but he did not turn up again. Then all mail was deleted without reading. If he had the guts to at least read my messages i threatened to name and shame him, please beware of SOUNDSPANKING, he is a time waster, and has ruined it for me and others. Master will not allow it again. |
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It's happened again, those of you who think you enjoy humiliation, well imagination yourself in this one, out in the car one day, being the cheeky brat i always am, he stops the car in a layby [rush hour of course] all drivers are going slow enough to look around them, Over the bonet i go, up comes the skirt and my punishment commences, thank goodness it was too busy for a police car to be around. lol. Why is it when i sit on my sore bum after a layby episode all i can do is giggle lol |
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Hello there everyone,
My last entry did say last one for a little while, but I did not mean this long, lol. Still happy with Master Bill, a very firm 24/7 lifestyle is something I absolutely knew would never be available to me, how wrong can a slave be. Because of my size and my health i naturally assumed that no one would want me other than to play, i was wrong Master Bill is keeping me, lock stock a barrel, and as i sit here and write I remember that no one let me know how to get rid of the cheeky brat in me, I sit on an ouchy bum again. But I would wish you all the joy he brings me, and i sincerely hope that i bring him. good luck all. |
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hi again,
yes the above is true and written with the honesty of a truely happy slave. I have had much help from friends on here, and thank them, i have spoken to many and thank them also, MB says to continue to do so, and to help others in the way i was helped. He is good and kind, considerate and caring, loving and strict, he says i bring out the extremes in him, as he does in me, helppppppppp how do i get rid of the cheeky back chat before my back cheeks get it again lol. Have a good New Year all of you, be happy and good to one another. But if you have someone, be true to them that goes for all. |
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Please can i with all due respect to the good and proper Masters on this site, ask the others to treat subs and slaves with some kind of respect. No i am not being disrespectful as most of you will know it is not my way.
But when the second sentence is kiss my feet, or when you have already replied with complete honesty and decorum that you have a visitor on the way in and will communicate when they have gone, the particular Master i speak of says answer me NOW. Surely that is not the way of grasping the trust and respect of a sub. Needless to say he will never become my Master. There are better ones out there that i am able to serve willingly |
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another entry, my heart still bleeds, but now realises that the one it bled for was not worthy of my love and devotion. I have today read his updated profile, and that of his new slave. He never named me on his profile, it should say something, but her profile says she was his collared etc from May. No wonder he had not time for his existing slaves, no wonder they were neglected and at times ignored. and most of all no wonder he released them with such ease. If he were to talk, i would have one single question, where is the honesty, trust and respect. I wish her luck, and good fortune, i am sorely tempted to name them both here, but will not sink to the levels he induces in me. |
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Hello everyone, Now to explain, regrets are still there, they always will be, but not to the distressing nature i was in when i first entered a journal entry full of woe. I have had to much support and comfort from complete strangers on here, most of which i can now call friends, and even mentors. I hope never to lose their companionship, they are the very special people in our lifestyle. And i thank them all, each and every one so much, they have all in there own way helped me to get over the heartache. One or two remain to be special and i hope always will. I am now hoping to one day be collared and owned, but this will be a journey in itself for i will not grasp i will hope and make sure first. One day the right one will come, i might even already be in contact with Him, but don't yet know it, in that case nor does He. But am out of that dark hole now, we all get in it on occasions. |
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I still do not feel i am able to update the profile with any clarity, i still hurt at the way it ended, but i felt the need to update the journal, to say thankyou to all that contacted me in my time of distress, i have had messages from all over the world, but the ones from the Masters/Doms, not searching for anything other than offering support, and most of them from my own country. They were touching and encouraging, and show there are Masters with big hearts, and caring natures, i thank you all again, and hope to keep in touch |
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Although my profile is no longer accurate, i choose to leave it for a few days before correcting it or even rewriting it. But i will say that at the moment i am free, MeisterA sent a message today informing me of my release. This was in response to a letter of woe and hurt, but then the care has been gone from the relationship for quite a while, and if honest i have seen this coming for a while. I am sorry it hand to end this way and now, but wish him best in his search, and hope that his next slave/s can manage to be unquestioningly obedient, even with prolonged periods of silence, and even longer ones of no physical contact. Goodbye MA |
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