in2anything

The subject of punishments and discipline has come up quite frequently this past week.  No, not because I've been bad, just in general conversation.  In thinking about it I believe that the very best punishment is only possible after a sub/slave has reached the point where things previously thought of as punishment in themselves can be denied as a form of punishment.  That's rather convoluted to put into text, I hope I got it phrased correctly.

Connection.  Why is it immediately and intensely there with one person and not another?  Even on the internet where words are all we have to work with it's just there or it's not.

I've talked to several gentlemen here on CM, all interesting men, all very nice to me, all with their virtues and vices.  Yet of them all it always comes down to the elusive moment that we either connect or we don't.

To the lovely men with whom that moment didn't occur, thank you for the time you spent with me.  I enjoyed it and appreciate it.  A man's attention is always flattering.

To the one with whom it did...I look forward to the journey, wherever it may take us.

Almost time to change the age on my profile for another year and I tend to look back and reflect on the things I did right, or wrong, or simply the paths not taken and where they might have led.

I had one great teacher this year and I owe him a great deal.  He taught me how to behave (or tried damn hard to) but mostly he taught me what a Master could be.  I'm not sure there is a better one out there but I am sure I'll not settle for a lesser one.

Thank you, William...you are always in my heart and thoughts.

v

Such a mixed bag here. 
Some are gentlemen, always much appreciated. 
Some are fun and interesting and great potential friends, also much appreciated even if never anything more.
Some are potential playmates, which definitely have their value.
And some, not to put too fine a point on it, that are purely idiots.  Just because we exchange a couple of messages do NOT assume you "own" me and start making demands.  IF I were to choose a Master he will be well aware of it and, as my profile makes clear, that's not likely to happen right now.

Some thought provoking conversations on here lately, thank you to those gentlemen who can actually do that without resorting to an immediate list of their needs and demands.

A bit from one of them:

I have found intimacy to come from some of the most unexpected things. I think it's a sharing of anything that requires a degree of trust or letting go of inhibitions. Being able to do that with someone is intimacy. Anyone can whisper (or type) sweet nothings and words of love that mean absolutely nothing.

Miscommunication, misunderstanding, pride, stubbornness...all means to destroy a relationship.  Putting our own interpretation on words instead of accepting them as spoken.  How can a language so rich in meaning be the cause of so much confusion?

For those that have asked why I don't have a picture posted on my profile -

I live in a very small town and am in a vulnerable position right now.  I will be happy to exchange photos with friends when I feel it has progressed to a point where that is appropriate. 

Since I'm only looking for friends, not a Master, it really shouldn't matter anyway ;-)

Beautiful weather has arrived and with it a marked change in attitude, if not goals.  More a strengthening of purpose and a renewed sense of energy.  Sunshine does wonders for the soul...still free and legal even if not as good for us as it once was.

Saw something today that really struck home:

The strongest factor for success is self esteem.
Believing you can do it.
Believing you deserve it.
Believing it will happen.

Many people are defeated simply because they don't think they deserve better and I've been as guilty as any.  But self esteem and submission are not mutually exclusive.  If I can't value myself, how much will my Master value me?

Since I first signed on to this site I’ve noticed two things, a lot of Dom’s looking for the “perfect” sub and a lot of angry, bitter female subs.  

At first I couldn’t understand why so many women who are “subs” have their profiles filled with a list of demands, NO’s and they all sound so angry.  But I’ve taken the time to read a lot of the profiles and the journals and given it a lot of thought.

I’ve also been contacted by a lot of the Doms.  If you were polite and respectful in your approach to me you got the same in return.

Without speaking for anyone but myself and what I see, here’s some advice the Dom’s might take to heart:

Submissive does not mean any of the following:
Stupid
Gullible
Worthless
Disposable
“Less” than you

A submissive is a person who gives you the gift of being able to be who you need to be.  Without them you are unable to be fulfilled in your needs/desires.  They make that possible.  They are, therefore, equal and necessary and precious – and should be treated as such.

What draws you to one sub over another?  If it is just the shape of her body, the look of her face then please message me and I will be happy to direct you to several stores that sell high quality dolls of various types and price ranges that should more than satisfy your shallow needs.

For those of you who desire a sub who says “yes, Master” to every command and wants nothing for herself please see the above paragraph and include a tape player with a pre-recorded message.

For the few of you who are drawn to a woman for her mind, her personality, her genuine desire to serve – if you are lucky enough to find her and she gives you the gift of her submission – treasure it, respect it, treat it as what it is…the other half of you without which you will be empty and hollow with no release for your needs or desires.

Do not expect her to blindly follow you anywhere with no thought for her own future unless you think her stupid.

Do not try to change her into another creature or you will lose what you valued to begin with.

Dom/sub is a symbiotic relationship requiring each to play their part for it to be successful.  If you think it is anything else you are not a Dom, you are simply a bully with kinky fantasies.

Everything in life is based on choices, those we are making now or some we've made in the past that have created whatever situation we're dealing with now.

It's sometimes easy to blame things on others, on circumstances, etc. but, if you look closely, you'll see that at some point leading you to this time you made a choice that could have changed the outcome.

It's also a choice how we deal with each of life's events, positively or negatively.  I try very hard to see the "upside" of things.  That is far from saying I'm a Pollyanna, I see the bad very easily...I choose to focus on the good.