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I'm new to the lifestyle, eager and curious to explore the depths of submission. I love the idea of being dominated, used, tied, etc. in all aspects of life. If any of this interests you, feel free to email me at any time. |
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Nobody on here catches my eye...I don't think I can connect with anyone. I'm still scared. Scared of actually submitting to someone and losing my boyfriend, scared of meeting on someone and having him turn out to be a serial killer. The connection I had before eliminated some of those fears, but I guess wasn't as strong as I thought. My feelings are hurt by him more than I thought they would be. It's the feeling of rejection that stings more than anything else. None of these other guys on here know what he knows, or have talked to me the way he has. I guess I don't wanna start all over again, when I thought I had found what I was looking for all along. We've both given up our search, and then re-fired it again, based on the hopes of getting together. I'm pretty let down, I got my hopes, and adrenaline pumping, I was so ready for my first BDSM experience, and he let me down, twice. I just don't get it. No explanation, nothing. I still haven't recieved an email or anything. I just don't get it.
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Well, I almost did something really stupid. You know how sometimes before you do something you know you shouldn't do, you get little signs, like warnings, letting you know that it's a bad idea? Well, I almost went outside of my current relationship to mess around with a guy I met on here before I even met my boyfriend. And, I've been getting little signs, like omens, telling me not to do it. But, he tempted me with a devilish grin, and cunning charm, and I was gonna do it anyway. But tonight, when it was all supposed to go down, he blew me off. He kinda blew me off last night, but it wasn't really official. Tonight, it was official, and he blew me off. Even though me and this guy are not in a relationship, and not planning to be in one, I'd at least appreciate some consideration for all I'm risking. My boyfriend and I have been together for two and a half years, and I love him to death. He is just not interested in BDSM in the least, so I sometimes feel that my needs and curiosities are unsatisfied. It never meant that I loved my boyfriend any less, I guess I was just selfish, I wanted my cake and to eat it to. So, I sought satisfaction in someone I knew and thought I trusted. Him and I have been waiting a long time to get together. I almost did it one other time, but I got scared at the last minute. This time, I was scared to. My heart pounds every time he sends me a message, or we talk on the phone. The thought of him makes me scared. And, he likes it like that. He likes having me afraid. I'm drawn to him. We're drawn to each other. Each of us has something the other one wants, but can't find anywhere else. But, my boyfriend and I can't breathe without each other. I guess fate decided for me which man was worth more, and maybe with more pushing, I can get my boyfriend to fulfill all of my desires. If this other guy can't at least have consideration for all I am risking just to be with him, than he's not worth all I'm risking. I take my relationship with my boyfriend very seriously, I take what I wanted to do with this guy very seriously. If he doesn't, than I probably shouldn't be doing it. It would have been fun, but not worth the pain it would have caused, I guess. |
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Ok, so me and my boyfriend are no mas (jerk) but that does not mean I'm jumping heavily back into "the scene." I'm still looking for friends only, and if something develops past that, we'll see. |
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I am really truly amazed at some people. I get this email from this new freak guy today and he tells me I'm lucky to have a boyfriend because not many are into big girls. So I try to write him back, to enquire on his sexual conquests and he has already blocked me. What the hell? To the latest idiot, you know who you are, if you are reading this, then go to hell. |
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This time I have 2 things to say:
1)Everbody over the age of 38 is sent immediately to my bulk mail folder. I read your messages and then promptly delete them. I rarely respond. Don't bother writing to me if you're some fifty year old man. Also, if I do respond and tell you "Leave me Alone" it truly does mean, "Leave me Alone." I'm not being a "play" submissive, flirting, or being hard to get. I really just want you to leave me alone.
2) I HAVE A BOYFRIEND. I am no longer on this site to meet Doms to be in a relationship with. I have met alot of friends on here, and continue to keep meeeting friends on here. If I exchange emails with you, chances are, I exchange emails with alot of people. You do not "own" me and we do not have a relationship. Also, you will not change my mind regarding my boyfriend, and no, we are not interested in a group thing. |
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Now I've moved past the freaks on here and come to the rude people. Why can't I just meet anyone normal? For all you guys who supposedly like big women, DO NOT email me and tell me, "Oh, I like you, I wanna see your pci, by the way, there's nothing wrong with your weight." I know that. When you tell me that, you're acknowledging a "problem" that's supposed to not be there. If there's nothing wrong with it in your mind, (and there is something wrong with it, besides being gross, it's not healthy) you shouldn't feel the need to tell me, you should just let it be. |
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MORE FREAKS!!! WHAT IS WITH YOU PEOPLE?!?!?!?
THIS IS A SPECAIL NOTE TO ALL THE MARRIED MEN ON THIS SITE: DO NOT,UNDRER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE CONTACT ME!!! Just because I'm into being tied up and all that good stuff, does NOT mean I'm into another woman's husband. And, do not contact me and not tell me your married until you think I've fallen for you. I'll be mean to you, then I'll block you, and I won't feel bad about it. |
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Ok, so I've met alot of freaks on this website, and now I have to clarify something: JUST BECAUSE I CHAT WITH YOU ALOT, ADD YOU TO MY MESSENGER LIST, OR ANYTHING ELSE, DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU OWN ME OR THAT THERE IS NO ONE ELSE I'M TALKING TO. Right now I'm in the process of meeting friends online and seeing what develops. If you can't handle that, then don't waste my time or yours talking to me. |
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