Oh, good gracious! I haven't been here since the scism. I'll update this in a bit...
Alright, I thought the loong list of interests and turn-ons to the left of my profile text would've outlined me well. Oh, how wrong I apparently was in assuming this. So, following are some details of specific things that I'm looking for and things that I enjoy.
I love humiliation and degradation.
I will call you names and force you into degrading actions until you cry.
I love watching a submissive slut cry; not just a single graceful tear, fucking bawling.
I like to leave marks; marks from my teeth/fangs, my hands, my tools.
I love to inflict pain.
I will test your pain tolerance as you squirm to escape.
I enjoy force; mentally, physically, and emotionally.
I will hold you down and rape your holes (safeword applies, I'm not a monster).
I love pretending to be (or perhaps unleashing) a monster, in certain situations.
I like rules and forethought to structure the people and events in my life.
I like to bend (not break) the rules and be spontaneous during sex.
I will require that you ask for things you want; be it food, orgasms, or attention.
I love coming up with increasingly cruel and imaginative punishments/activities.
I will think of more for this list later.
I would like a slave that is content with being used as fuckmeat on a regular basis while being treated like a beloved family pet otherwise.
I would like a submissive who is content with being my friend while also indulging in the above activities when the mood strikes us.
Hopefully, I can find these things.
"I'll dream about you. I will not doubt you with the passing of time….Oh, yeah. Should they kill me, your love will fill me as warm as the bullets, yeah."
Decided that my pics needed an update: an attempt at "myspace mirror" pics showcasing the 24 pounds that isn't there anymore.
Ah, boredom research... see if you can guess the clowns:
1.)"Remember?? Oh, I wouldn't do that!? Remembering's dangerous.? I find
the past such a worrying, anxious place.? 'The Past-Tense,' I suppose
you'd call it.? hahaHA.
Memory's so treacherous.? One moment
you're lost in a carnival of delights, with poignant childhood aromas,
the flashing neon of puberty, all that sentimental candy floss; the
next it leads you somewhere you don't want to go...somewhere dark and
cold, filled with the damp, ambiguous shapes of things you'd hoped were
forgotten.? Memories can be vile, repulsive little brutes.? like
children, I suppose. HahAhAHaha!?
But can we live without
them?? Memories are what our reason is based upon.? If we can't face
them, we deny reason itself!? Although, why not?? We aren't
contractually tied down to reality!? There is no 'Sanity Clause!'?
HAhaHA!
So, when you find yourself locked onto an unpleasant
train of thought, heading for the places in your past where the
screaming is unbearable; remember, there's always madness.? Madness is
the emergency exit.? You can just step outside, and close the door on
all those dreadful things that happened.? You can lock them
away...Forever." --?
2.) "Yeah. Yeah, that?s right.? Pregnant woman.? Gunned her down.? Bang.?
And y?know what?? You watched me.? You coulda' changed the gun into steam
or the bullets into mercury or the bottle into snowflakes!? You coulda'
teleported either of us to goddamn Australia?but you didn?t lift a
finger!
You don?t really give a damn about human beings.? I?ve watched
you.? You never cared about whatsername, Janey, even before you
ditched her.? Soon you won?t be interested in Sally?s little
girl, either.? You?re driftin? outta touch, Doc.? You?re turnin? into a
flake.? When that happens, God help us all." --?
3.) "Have more than thou showest, ?????
Speak less than thou knowest, ?????
Lend less than thou owest, ?????
Ride more than thou goest, ?????
Learn more than thou trowest, ?????
Set less than thou throwest; ?????
Leave thy drink and thy whore, ?????
And keep in-a-door, ?????
And thou shall have more ?????
Than two tens to a score.
????? He's mad, that trusts in the tameness of a wolf, a horse's health, a boy's love, or a whore's oath." --?
4.) "What?? What did you say to me?? Listen here, young man!? I don't fuck goats.? I make love to them."? --?
5.)"My partner and I are proud Americans.? We consider ourselves to be
patriotic
and we got a little more patriotic about seven years ago when we spent
time
in Egypt, China, and India; because nothing can make you love the USA
more than overseas? travel.? And when we are overseas, we were humbled
by the realization of how much of our prosperity and our happiness, even our
individual personality; so much of all of that comes directly from
the liberties that are symbolized by this flag.?
But even so, a couple of goof balls holding the flag on stage in Vegas
does bring a weird kind of energy to the room.? It's that energy we are
talking about when we talk about content because you know, with this
piece of cloth
on stage, there is a lot to think about.? The Bill of Rights, the first
ten amendments the constitution of the United States of America; this
is
not the real original Bill of Rights, we can't afford that yet but all
the words and more important all the ideas are on this paper. We have
the second amendment, which deal with rather explicitly and our last
bit this evening; and the first amendments which is usually abbreviated
as the Freedom of Speech Amendment, and speech have been defined rather
broadly to include symbolic speech and therefore the Supreme Court has
said we can do anything we want to this flag.? The thinking seems to be
in whatever happens to flag physically, symbolically is always
protected by
the Bill of Rights so we can take a piece of tinder and a very
eccentric magic wand, and we are allowed legally to do this, and it is
okay.? Because even though the flag is gone, the Bill of Rights
remains." --?
Good luck...try not to peek at that internet that I know you're on right now.? My reasons for this post will be explained later.
I am a man who really hates burning bridges; but, some are just already half soaked-through with gasoline.
"From Whence the Wild Things Came..."
I would like everyone to know that I am feeling much better now than I was forty-eight hours ago.? My mind has been made slightly clearer by closure, and anger fades much more quickly than worry and regret.? While dismayed by the disappointing possibility of a friendship and romance lost as well as the social rejection of my former peers, I have used this turmoil to my advantage.
There are two things that make me happy in this World, no matter how isolated and depressed I feel: singing and BDSM.? I love to sing and have for as long as I can remember.? In the church choir and the elementary school chorus, I used to imagine the notes and words flying from my throat and up to heaven.? BDSM came along much later in my life, beginning as submission wrought from self-hatred and mutating into Dominance created by anger.? Emotion run rampant.
When I was younger, I was a terrible singer because I lacked control of tone.? I screamed every word, trying to make them soar higher or believing that volume impressed adults.? It wasn't until many years later that I learned to tuck in my diaphragm and narrow my nasal passages to create different tones and pitches, along with the idea that harder wasn't actually better.? Being a good Dom or Master is much the same.? The key in both cases is control; not only of the artistic medium, but also of the self.? Neither man nor woman can be in complete control of another human being before they are in control of their own personalities.
You might be asking yourself, "Why is he talking about this?"? Well, extreme emotions cause normally rational and level-headed people to lose control, even if said people have spent decades building it.? However, there are always anchors.? When I'm angry, I do what makes me happy; I sing, generally in the shower.? Power play and anger shouldn't be common bedfellows, as rage often leads to abuse of power.? Singing, on the other hand, is generally safe and rarely abused by it's habitual users.? I hope my message was conveyed.
"You can get on with your search, baby; and I can get on with mine.? Maybe, someday, we will find that it wasn't really wasted time."
The pulsing air of the lounge and dance
floor is heavy with the smell of spices and sweat as I sit in Its dark
corners, staring deeply into Its bright blackness.? Its robust murk is
parted only by the tottering of Its inebriated lovers and brazenly
reveling worshipers, while being accentuated further by the broad
spectrum of spasmodically twitching lights.? My hat, down; My coat,
heavy; My face, clearly hidden in the shades; but, My gaze is concise
and concentrated on the subject of My enticement.
She is there,
amongst the fog and throng, engaging in motions so graceful and fluid
that My eyes cannot help but be affixed.? All I can follow is Her
silhouette; black and empty, outlined solely in whatever color from
whichever direction of whatever lamp envelopes Her for each moment that
passes.? Only two points of illumination on Her body can I recognize:
the glint of Her glasses and the shine of Her tight pleather pants.?
Despite the visual hindrance, Her beautiful and slight form stands out
among the rest to the point of adoration and idolatry.?
Even
as the undulating crowd draws closer, Her mesmerizing shape is
accentuated.? She sways as a sunflower in a cornfield, Her petals
spread like wings to separate her from those less pronounced.? When the
wavering masses become too dense to see through, I can still make out
Her shoes; so common in reality and yet so rare in this playful world
of modern Gothic adulation.? Through these simple pieces of footwear
can I extrapolate her movements to visualize how wonderful She must
look and feel in the throws of Her music driven passion.?
I
know Her steps and rhythms by heart, for it was She who made them rote
in My mind.? Through not fault of Hers as a teacher, My body possesses
none of the lithe dexterity and flexibility that make Her such a joy to
behold.? So, still I sit with My vicarious vision of Her; wanting Her,
feeling Her, and squirming in My frustrations.
To Me, through
the blinding hues of strobes and lasers, Her statuesque shape is
enchanting; Her dance tastes much like that of sultry seduction.? The
curve of Her hips, the flutter Her wrists, and the flow of Her hair as
She moves seem to beckon Me closer; but Her eyes are averted, Her
expression slacked, and Her mind unfocused.? In this state, She exists
in a world segregated from Mine; above It and without context for My
assumptions.? To Her, at this moment, I am simply one of the faceless
herd. ? It is through Her that I have learned a great lesson:
every person falters and misleads, even if they are steadfast in the
truth.? While neither of Us communicated with words on Our tongues, Our
bodies and minds speak radically different languages.? In this fact, We
are separated by vast canyons.? In this fact, We shall never touch
across the barriers.? In this fact; We are, together, alone.
(I
hope you all enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.?
Criticism, comments, and suggestions are not only welcome but also
encouraged.)
...and
not necessarily in that order, I have officially met someone.? This
someone makes me feel things that I haven't felt in a long time; almost
a decade in fact.? For a Dom, especially one who
has been in the game as long and as deeply as myself; it is a sobering,
terrible, wonderful, frightening thing to feel utterly...powerless.
"There
must be an angel with a smile on her face when the thought up that I
should be with you; but it's time to face the truth..."
I can't
sleep, can't eat, can't think, and can't sit still....there are simply
too many butterflies; too many beautiful, wonderful, cursed butterflies...
Back, by the popular demand of my adoring fans, is my original audio intro.? Enjoy!
I updated a lot of my interests and preferences as my experience and experimentation has provided.? I hope some people will notice.
